Sebastian Junger: Why veterans miss war

Prevoditelj: Stjepan Mateljan Recezent: Ivan Stamenković

I'm going to ask and try to answer,

Pitat ću i pokušati odgovoriti

in some ways, kind of an uncomfortable question.

na neki način neugodno pitanje.

Both civilians, obviously, and soldiers

Jednako civili, očito, i vojnici

suffer in war;

trpe u ratu;

I don't think any civilian has ever missed

ne mislim da je nekom civilu ikada nedostajao

the war that they were subjected to.

rat kojem je bio izložen.

I've been covering wars for almost 20 years,

Pokrivam ratove već gotovo 20 godina,

and one of the remarkable things for me

i jedna osobita stvar za mene

is how many soldiers find themselves missing it.

je kako brojni vojnici otkriju da im nedostaje.

How is it someone can go through

Kako to da netko može proći kroz

the worst experience imaginable,

najgore iskustvo koje se može zamisliti,

and come home, back to their home,

te doći kući, natrag u svoj dom,

and their family, their country, and miss the war?

svojoj obitelji, svojoj zemlji, i da mu nedostaje rat?

How does that work? What does it mean?

Kako to radi? Što to znači?

We have to answer that question,

Moramo odgovoriti na to pitanje,

because if we don't, it'll be impossible

jer ako ne odgovorimo, biti će nemoguće

to bring soldiers back

vratiti vojnike natrag

to a place in society where they belong,

na mjesto u društvo gdje pripadaju,

and I think it'll also be impossible to stop war,

i mislim da će također biti nemoguće zaustaviti rat,

if we don't understand how that mechanism works.

ako ne razumijemo kako taj mehanizam radi.

The problem is that war

Problem je što rat

does not have a simple, neat truth,

nema jednostavnu, urednu istinu,

one simple, neat truth.

jednu jednostavnu, urednu istinu.

Any sane person hates war,

Svaka razumna osoba mrzi rat,

hates the idea of war,

mrzi ideju rata,

wouldn't want to have anything to do with it,

ne bi htjela imati nikakve veze s njim,

doesn't want to be near it, doesn't want to know about it.

ne želi mu biti blizu, ne želi znati za njega.

That's a sane response to war.

To je razuman odgovor na rat.

But if I asked all of you in this room,

Ali ako pitam sve vas u ovoj prostoriji,

who here has paid money

tko je odavde platio

to go to a cinema

kako bi otišao u kino

and be entertained by a Hollywood war movie,

i bio zabavljen holivudskim ratnim filmom,

most of you would probably raise your hands.

većina bi vas vjerojatno podigla ruke.

That's what's so complicated about war.

To je ono što je tako zamršeno kod rata.

And trust me, if a room full of peace-loving people

A vjerujte mi, ako prostorija puna miroljubivog svijeta

finds something compelling about war,

nalazi nešto neodoljivo u ratu,

so do 20-year-old soldiers

nalaze i dvadesetogodišnji vojnici

who have been trained in it, I promise you.

koji su uvježbani za njega, obećajem vam.

That's the thing that has to be understood.

To je stvar koju treba razumjeti.

I've covered war for about 20 years, as I said,

Pokrivao sam rat oko 20 godina, kako rekoh,

but my most intense experiences in combat

ali moja najžešća iskustva iz borbe

were with American soldiers in Afghanistan.

su bila sa Američkim vojnicima u Afganistanu.

I've been in Africa, the Middle East,

Bio sam u Africi, Bliskom istoku,

Afghanistan in the '90s,

Afganistanu u 90-ima,

but it was with American soldiers in 2007, 2008,

ali bilo je to sa Američkim vojnicima tijekom 2007., 2008.

that I was confronted with

kad sam se suočio sa

very intense combat.

vrlo žestokom borbom.

I was in a small valley called the Korengal Valley

Bio sam u maloj dolini zvanoj dolina Korengal

in eastern Afghanistan.

u istočnom Afganistanu.

It was six miles long.

Bila je duga šest milja.

There were 150 men of Battle Company in that valley,

Bilo je 150 ljudi Borbene Satnije u toj dolini,

and for a while, while I was there,

i neko vrijeme, dok sam bio tamo,

almost 20 percent of all the combat

gotovo 20 posto sve borbe

in all of Afghanistan was happening

u svom Afganistanu se dešavalo

in those six miles.

u tih šest milja.

A hundred and fifty men were absorbing

Stotinu i pedest ljudi je upijalo

almost a fifth of the combat for all of NATO forces

gotovo petinu sve borbe svih NATO snaga

in the country, for a couple months.

u zemlji, kroz nekoliko mjeseci.

It was very intense.

Bilo je vrlo intenzivno.

I spent most of my time at a small outpost

Proveo sam većinu svog vremena u malenoj ispostavi

called Restrepo.

zvanoj Restrepo.

It was named after the platoon medic

Ime je dobila po vojniku bolničaru

that had been killed about two months into the deployment.

koji je bio ubijen oko dva mjeseca nakon raspoređivanja.

It was a few plywood B-huts

To je bilo nekoliko daščara od iverice

clinging to a side of a ridge,

oslonjenih na stranu grebena,

and sandbags, bunkers, gun positions,

te vreće s pijeskom, bunkeri, borbeni položaji,

and there were 20 men up there

i tamo gore je bilo i 20 ljudi

of Second Platoon, Battle Company.

Drugog Voda Borbene Satnije.

I spent most of my time up there.

Proveo sam većinu svog vremena tamo.

There was no running water.

Nije bilo tekuće vode,

There was no way to bathe.

nije bilo načina da se okupa.

The guys were up there for a month at a time.

Momci su bili gore po mjesec dana.

They never even got out of their clothes.

Nikad nisu niti izašli iz odjeće.

They fought. The worked.

Borili su se. Radili su.

They slept in the same clothes.

Spavali su u istoj odjeći.

They never took them off, and at the end of the month,

Nikad je nisu skinuli, a na kraju mjeseca,

they went back down to the company headquarters,

otišli bi dolje u stožer satnije,

and by then, their clothes were unwearable.

i do tada, odjeća bi postala neupotrebljiva.

They burned them and got a new set.

Spalili bi je i dobili novi komplet.

There was no Internet. There was no phone.

NIje bilo Interneta. Nije bilo telefona.

There was no communication with the outside world up there.

Nije bilo komunikacije sa ostatkom svijeta od tamo.

There was no cooked food.

Nije bilo kuhane hrane.

There was nothing up there

Tamo gore nije bilo ničega

that young men typically like:

što se mladim ljudima tipično sviđa:

no cars, no girls, no television, nothing

nije bilo auta, cura, televizije, ničega

except combat.

osim borbe.

Combat they did learn to like.

Borbu su naučili uživati.

I remember one day, it was a very hot day

Sjećam se jedan dan, bio je vrlo vruć dan

in the spring,

u proljeće,

and we hadn't been in a fight

i nismo bili u borbi

in a couple of weeks, maybe.

par tjedana, možda.

Usually, the outpost was attacked,

Inače, ispostava je napadana

and we hadn't seen any combat in a couple of weeks,

a nismo vidjeli borbu par tjedana,

and everyone was just stunned

i svi su bili omamljeni

with boredom and heat.

od dosade i vrućine.

And I remember the lieutenant walking past me

I sjećam se poručnika kako hoda ispred mene

sort of stripped to the waist.

nekako skinut do pasa.

It was incredibly hot.

Bilo je nevjerojatno vruće.

Stripped to the waist, walked past me muttering,

Skinut do pasa, hoda ispred mene mrmljajući,

"Oh God, please someone attack us today."

"O bože, molim te neka nas netko napadne danas."

That's how bored they were.

Eto toliko im je bilo dosadno.

That's war too, is a lieutenant saying,

I to je rat, poručnik koji govori:

"Please make something happen

"Molim te neka se nešto dogodi

because we're going crazy."

jer smo više izluđeni."

To understand that,

Da to razumijete,

you have to, for a moment,

morate, na trenutak,

think about combat not morally --

razmišljati o borbi ne moralno --

that's an important job to do —

to je važno činiti —

but for a moment, don't think about it morally,

ali na trenutak, nemojte razmišljati moralno,

think about it neurologically.

razmišljajte o tome neurološki.

Let's think about what happens in your brain

Razmislimo o tome što se događa u vašem mozgu

when you're in combat.

kad ste u borbi.

First of all, the experience

Prije svega, iskustvo

is very bizarre, it's a very bizarre one.

je vrlo bizarno, to je vrlo bizarno.

It's not what I had expected.

Nije ono što sam očekivao.

Usually, you're not scared.

Obično, niste prestrašeni.

I've been very scared in combat,

Znao sam biti vrlo prestrašen u borbi,

but most of the time when I was out there,

ali većinu vremena kad sam bio tamo,

I wasn't scared.

nisam bio prestrašen.

I was very scared beforehand

Bio sam vrlo prestrašen prije

and incredibly scared afterwards,

i nejvjerojatno prestrašen nakon,

and that fear that comes afterwards can last years.

i taj strah koji dođe nakon može trajati godinama.

I haven't been shot at in six years,

Na mene nije pucano šest godina,

and I was woken up very abruptly this morning

pa ipak sam se iznenada prenuo jutros

by a nightmare that I was being strafed by aircraft,

iz noćne more u kojoj me napala letjelica u brišućem letu

six years later.

šest godina poslije.

I've never even been strafed by aircraft,

Nikad me nije napala letjelica u brišućem letu

and I was having nightmares about it.

a imao sam noćne more o tome.

Time slows down.

Vrijeme uspori.

You get this weird tunnel vision.

Dobijete taj čudni pogled kao kroz tunel.

You notice some details very, very, very accurately

Primjećujete neke detalje vrlo vrlo vrlo točno

and other things drop out.

a druge stvari ispadaju iz slike.

It's almost a slightly altered state of mind.

Nalik je nekom malo izmijenjenom stanju uma.

What's happening in your brain

Ono što vam se događa u mozgu

is you're getting an enormous amount of adrenaline

je da dobijate ogromnu količinu adrenalina

pumped through your system.

koja vam kola kroz tijelo.

Young men will go to great lengths

Mladi ljudi poduzimaju svašta

to have that experience.

da bi doživjeli to iskustvo.

It's wired into us.

To je ugrađeno u nas.

It's hormonally supported.

To je hormonalno podržano.

The mortality rate for young men in society

Stopa smrtnosti mladih muškaraca u društvu

is six times what it is for young women

je šest puta one mladih žena

from violence and from accidents,

od nasilja i od nesreća.

just the stupid stuff that young men do:

samo gluposti koje mladići čine:

jumping off of things they shouldn't jump off of,

skakanje sa stvari sa kojih ne bi trebali skakati,

lighting things on fire they shouldn't light on fire,

paljenje stvari koje ne bi trebali paliti,

I mean, you know what I'm talking about.

mislim, znate o čemu pričam.

They die at six times the rate

umiru šest puta češće

that young women do.

nego što umiru mlade žene.

Statistically, you are safer as a teenage boy,

Statistički, sigurniji ste kao tinejdžer,

you would be safer in the fire department

bili biste sigurniji u vatrogascima

or the police department in most American cities

ili u policijskoj stanici u većini Američkih gradova

than just walking around the streets of your hometown

nego da samo hodate uokolo po ulicama vlastitog grada,

looking for something to do,

tražeći nešto za raditi,

statistically.

statistički.

You can imagine how that plays out in combat.

Možete zamisliti kako se to odigrava u borbi.

At Restrepo, every guy up there was almost killed,

U Restrepu, svaki je momak tamo gore skoro poginuo,

including me,

uključujući mene,

including my good friend Tim Hetherington,

uključujući Tima Hetheringtona,

who was later killed in Libya.

koji je kasnije ubijen u Libiji.

There were guys walking around

Tamo je bilo momaka koji su hodali

with bullet holes in their uniforms,

sa rupama od metaka na svojim uniformama,

rounds that had cut through the fabric

pogocima koji su prošli kroz tkaninu

and didn't touch their bodies.

ali im nisu dotakli tijela.

I was leaning against some sandbags one morning,

Bio sam naslonjen na neke vreće pijeska jedno jutro,

not much going on, sort of spacing out,

ne radeći ništa specijalno, nekako odmarajući,

and some sand was kicked into the side of,

a nešto pijeska me lupilo sa strane,

sort of hit the side of my face.

nekako lupilo u jednu stranu mog lica.

Something hit the side of my face, and I didn't know what it was.

Nešto je lupilo stranu lica, a ja nisam znao što.

You have to understand about bullets

Morate znati o mecima

that they go a lot faster than sound,

da lete dosta brže od zvuka,

so if someone shoots at you

tako da ako netko puca po vama

from a few hundred meters,

sa nekoliko stotina metara,

the bullet goes by you, or hits you obviously,

metak prolazi pored vas, ili vas pogađa očito,

half a second or so before the sound catches up to it.

oko pola sekunde prije nego ga zvuk sustigne.

So I had some sand sprayed in the side of my face.

Dakle malo me pijeska bilo poprskalo po licu.

Half a second later, I heard dut-dut-dut-dut-duh.

Pola sekunde kasnije, čuo sam ta-ta-ta-ta-ta.

It was machine gun fire.

To je bila strojnica.

It was the first round, the first burst

To su bili prvi hici, prvi rafal

of an hour-long firefight.

sat vremena dugog puškaranja.

What had happened was the bullet hit,

Metak je pogodio,

a bullet hit three or four inches from the side of my head.

metak je pogodio tri ili četiri palca pokraj moje glave.

Imagine, just think about it, because I certainly did,

Zamislite, samo razmislite o tome, jer ja sigurno jesam,

think about the angle of deviation that saved my life.

razmislite o otklonu koji mi je sačuvao život.

At 400 meters, it missed me by three inches.

Na 400 metara me je promašilo za tri palca.

Just think about the math on that.

Samo razmislite o matematici toga.

Every guy up there

Svaki momak tamo gore

had some experience like that,

je imao neko iskustvo nalik ovom,

at least once, if not many times.

barem jednom, ako ne više puta.

The boys are up there for a year.

Dečki su tamo gore godinu dana.

They got back.

Vratili su se natrag.

Some of them got out of the Army

Neki su od njih izašli iz vojske

and had tremendous psychological problems when they got home.

i imali ogromne psihološke probleme kad su došli kući.

Some of them stayed in the Army

Neki su od njih ostali u vojsci

and were more or less okay, psychologically.

i bili manje ili više u redu, psihološki.

I was particularly close to a guy named Brendan O'Byrne.

Bio sam posebno blizak momku koji se zvao Brendan O'Byrne

I'm still very good friends with him.

Još smo uvijek jako dobri prijatelji.

He came back to the States. He got out of the Army.

Vratio se u Sjedinjene države. Izašao iz vojske.

I had a dinner party one night.

Jednom sam priredio zabavu.

I invited him,

Pozvao sam ga,

and he started talking with a woman,

i on je počeo pričati sa ženom,

one of my friends,

jednom od mojih prijateljica,

and she knew how bad it had been out there,

a ona je znala kako je loše bilo tamo,

and she said, "Brendan,

te mu je rekla: "Brendan,

is there anything at all that you miss about

postoji li uopće nešto što ti nedostaje glede

being out in Afghanistan, about the war?"

bivanja u Afganistanu, glede rata?"

And he thought about it quite a long time,

i on je razmislio o tome poprilično dugo,

and finally he said, "Ma'am, I miss almost all of it."

te na kraju rekao: "Gospođo, nedostaje mi skoro sve."

And he's one of the most traumatized people

A on je jedan od traumatiziranijih ljudi

I've seen from that war.

koje sam vidio iz tog rata.

"Ma'am, I miss almost all of it."

"Gospođo, nedostaje mi skoro sve."

What is he talking about?

O čemu on to priča?

He's not a psychopath.

Nije psihopat.

He doesn't miss killing people.

Ne nedostaje mu ubijanje ljudi.

He's not crazy. He doesn't miss getting shot at

Nije lud. Ne nedostaje mu da se po njemu puca

and seeing his friends get killed.

niti da gleda kako mu prijatelji bivaju ubijeni.

What is it that he misses? We have to answer that.

Što je to što mu nedostaje? Moramo na to odgovoriti.

If we're going to stop war, we have to answer that question.

Ako želimo zaustaviti rat, moramo odgovoriti na to pitanje.

I think what he missed is brotherhood.

Mislim da je ono što mu nedostaje bratstvo.

He missed, in some ways,

Nedostaje mu, na neki način,

the opposite of killing.

suprotnost od ubijanja.

What he missed was connection

Ono što mu nedostaje je povezanost

to the other men he was with.

sa drugim ljudima s kojima je bio.

Now, brotherhood is different from friendship.

Sad, bratstvo je različito od prijateljstva.

Friendship happens in society, obviously.

Prijateljstvo se događa u društvu, očito.

The more you like someone,

Što vam se netko više sviđa,

the more you'd be willing to do for them.

više ćete biti spremni učiniti za njih.

Brotherhood has nothing to do

Bratstvo nema nikakve veze

with how you feel about the other person.

sa tim što osjećate za drugu osobu.

It's a mutual agreement in a group

To je međusobna suglasnost u grupi

that you will put the welfare of the group,

da ćete staviti dobrobit grupe,

you will put the safety of everyone in the group

da ćete staviti sigurnost svakog u grupi

above your own.

iznad vlastite.

In effect, you're saying,

U stvari, govorite:

"I love these other people more than I love myself."

"Volim ove ljude više nego volim sebe."

Brendan was a team leader

Brendan je bio vođa tima

in command of three men,

zapovjednik tri čovjeka,

and the worst day in Afghanistan —

i najgori dan u Afganistanu —

He was almost killed so many times.

Zamalo je poginuo toliko puta.

It didn't bother him.

Nije ga to mučilo.

The worst thing that happened to him in Afghanistan

Najgora stvar koja mu se dogodila u Afganistanu

was one of his men was hit in the head with a bullet

je kad je jedan od njegovih ljudi bio pogođen u glavu metkom

in the helmet, knocked him over.

u kacigu, prevalio ga na pod.

They thought he was dead.

Mislili su da je mrtav.

It was in the middle of a huge firefight.

Bilo je to usred puškaranja.

No one could deal with it, and a minute later,

Nitko se nije mogao baviti time, a minutu kasnije,

Kyle Steiner sat back up

Kyle Steiner se uspravio i sjeo natrag

from the dead, as it were,

iz mrtvih, kako se činilo,

because he'd come back to consciousness.

jer se probudio iz nesvijesti.

The bullet had just knocked him out.

Metak ga je samo onesvijestio.

It glanced off the helmet.

Okrznuo mu je kacigu.

He remembers people saying,

Sjeća se ljudi kako govore,

as he was sort of half-conscious,

dok je bio nekako polusvjestan,

he remembers people saying,

sjeća se ljudi kako govore:

"Steiner's been hit in the head. Steiner's dead."

"Steiner je pogođen u glavu. Steiner je mrtav."

And he was thinking, "I'm not dead."

A on je mislio: "Nisam mrtav."

And he sat up.

i onda je sjeo.

And Brendan realized after that

Te je Brendan nakon toga shvatio

that he could not protect his men,

da ne može zaštititi svoje ljude,

and that was the only time he cried in Afghanistan,

i to je bio jedini put da je plakao u Afganistanu,

was realizing that.

kada je to shvatio.

That's brotherhood.

To je bratstvo.

This wasn't invented recently.

Ono nije izmišljeno nedavno.

Many of you have probably read "The Iliad."

Puno vas je vjerojatno čitalo "Ilijadu".

Achilles surely would have risked his life

Ahil bi sigurno riskirao svoj život

or given his life to save his friend Patroclus.

ili dao svoj život da spasi svog prijatelja Patrokla.

In World War II, there were many stories

U Drugom svjetskom ratu, bilo je puno priča

of soldiers who were wounded,

o vojnicima koji su bili ranjeni,

were brought to a rear base hospital,

odvedeni u pozadinsku bolnicu,

who went AWOL,

koji su pobjegli,

crawled out of windows, slipped out doors,

spuzali kroz prozore, kliznuli kroz vrata,

went AWOL, wounded,

pobjegli, ranjeni,

to make their way back to the front lines

da bi vlastitim snagama našli put natrag na prvu crtu

to rejoin their brothers out there.

kako bi se ponovno pridružili svojoj braći tamo.

So you think about Brendan,

Onda pomislite o Brendanu,

you think about all these soldiers

pomislite na sve te vojnike

having an experience like that, a bond like that,

koji imaju iskustvo nalik tome, vezu poput te,

in a small group,

u maloj grupi,

where they loved 20 other people

gdje su voljeli 20 drugih ljudi

in some ways more than they loved themselves,

na neki način više nego što su voljeli sebe,

you think about how good that would feel, imagine it,

pomislite o tome kako bi to bio dobar osjećaj, zamislite,

and they are blessed with that experience for a year,

a oni su blagoslovljeni tim iskustvom na godinu dana,

and then they come home,

potom dođu doma,

and they are just back in society

i samo su natrag u društvu

like the rest of us are,

kao što smo i mi ostali,

not knowing who they can count on,

gdje ne znaju na koga mogu računati,

not knowing who loves them, who they can love,

gdje ne znaju tko ih voli, koga oni mogu voljeti,

not knowing exactly what anyone they know

gdje ne znaju točno što bi bilo tko koga poznaju

would do for them if it came down to it.

učinio za njih kada bi se svelo na to.

That is terrifying.

To je zastrašujuće.

Compared to that,

U usporedbi s tim,

war, psychologically, in some ways, is easy,

rat, psihološki, na neki način, je lagan,

compared to that kind of alienation.

u usporedbi s tom vrstom otuđenja.

That's why they miss it,

To je zašto im nedostaje,

and that's what we have to understand

i to je ono što moramo shvatiti

and in some ways fix in our society.

i na neki način popraviti u našem društvu.

Thank you very much.

Hvala vam puno.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)