How to write descriptively - Nalo Hopkinson

譯者: nr chan 審譯者: Ann Chen

We read fiction for many reasons.

我們為了種種的理由看小說

To be entertained,

為了娛樂自己

to find out who done it,

為了找出嫌疑犯

to travel to strange, new planets,

為了旅行到一個陌生的新星球

to be scared,

為了被嚇

to laugh,

to cry,

為了開懷大笑

為了放聲大哭

to think,

為了思考

to feel,

為了感覺

to be so absorbed that for a while we forget where we are.

為了沉浸其中而暫時忘記身處何處

So, how about writing fiction?

來寫篇小說，如何？

How do you suck your readers into your stories?

你要怎樣吸引讀者進入你的故事？

With an exciting plot? Maybe.

精彩的情節？可能吧！

Fascinating characters? Probably.

迷人的角色？或許吧！

Beautiful language? Perhaps.

優美的文句？大概吧！

"Billie's legs are noodles. The ends of her hair are poison needles.

「比莉的腳像麵條 她的髮梢是毒針

Her tongue is a bristly sponge, and her eyes are bags of bleach."

她的舌頭是乾硬的海綿 而她的眼睛是兩袋漂白劑」

Did that description almost make you feel as queasy as Billie?

這樣的敘述有沒有 讓你覺得跟比莉一樣想吐？

We grasp that Billie's legs aren't actually noodles.

我們知道比莉的腳不是真的麵條

To Billie, they feel as limp as cooked noodles.

對比莉來說， 它們癱軟得和煮熟的麵一樣

It's an implied comparison, a metaphor.

這是一種隱晦的比較，叫做「暗喻」

So, why not simply write it like this?

那為什麼不直接這樣寫就好？

"Billie feels nauseated and weak."

「比莉感到噁心、虛弱」

Chances are the second description wasn't as vivid to you as the first.

大概是第二種說法 沒有第一種來得生動

The point of fiction is to cast a spell,

小說的目的就是要施點魔法

a momentary illusion that you are living in the world of the story.

讓讀者有置身於故事中的短暫幻覺

Fiction engages the senses,

小說會驅策你用到數種感官

helps us create vivid mental simulacra

幫讀者在心中產生生動的擬像

of the experiences the characters are having.

就跟故事中角色的感覺一樣

Stage and screen engage some of our senses directly.

舞台劇和影片直接用到我們幾種感官

We see and hear the interactions of the characters and the setting.

我們看到也聽到 角色和佈景間的互動

But with prose fiction,

但對於散文式的小說

all you have is static symbols on a contrasting background.

你只有靜止的黑字躺在白紙上

If you describe the story in matter of fact, non-tactile language,

如果你只是平舖直述的描繪故事

the spell risks being a weak one.

你的文字魔法可能就很弱了

Your reader may not get much beyond interpreting the squiggles.

你的讀者可能只是看懂描述的字而已

She will understand what Billie feels like,

她會知道比莉的感覺

but she won't feel what Billie feels.

但她無法感同身受

She'll be reading, not immersed in the world of the story,

她只是在看書，但難以融入故事

discovering the truths of Billie's life at the same time that Billie herself does.

去發覺比莉當下那刻的生活真實面

Fiction plays with our senses:

小說運用到我們各種感官：

taste,

味覺、

smell,

嗅覺、

touch,

觸覺、

hearing,

聽覺、

sight,

視覺、

and the sense of motion.

和動態的感覺

It also plays with our ability to abstract and make complex associations.

它同時運用到我們的抽象力 和產生複雜聯想的能力

Look at the following sentence.

看看下面文句

"The world was ghost-quiet,

「世界如幽靈般死寂，

except for the crack of sails and the burbling of water against hull."

只有風帆啪啪作響 和水撞擊船身所發出的嘩啦聲」

The words, "quiet," "crack," and "burbling,"

「寂靜」、「啪啪作響」 和「嘩啦聲」等字

engage the sense of hearing.

運用到聽覺

Notice that Buckell doesn't use the generic word sound.

注意 Buckell（作者）並沒有 用到「聲音」這個大眾化的字眼

Each word he chooses evokes a particular quality of sound.

他所選的每個字都可以 喚起腦中一種特定的聲音

Then, like an artist laying on washes of color

接著，像一個畫家躺在顏料淺灘中

to give the sense of texture to a painting,

把這些感覺畫出來

he adds anoter layer, motion, "the crack of sails,"

他加了另一層 ─動感─ 「風帆啪啪作響」

and touch, "the burbling of water against hull."

以及觸感 ─ 「和水撞擊船身所發出的嘩啦聲」

Finally, he gives us an abstract connection

最後，他給了一個抽象的連結

by linking the word quiet with the word ghost.

把「寂靜」和「幽靈」做結合

Not "quiet as a ghost,"

他不是寫「和幽靈一樣安靜」

which would put a distancing layer of simile

這樣可能會使讀者感受到的

between the reader and the experience.

和你要表達的比喻產生距離

Instead, Buckell creates the metaphor "ghost-quiet"

反之，Buckell 用了 「如幽靈般死寂」這個比喻

for an implied, rather than overt, comparison.

作為暗示，而不是直接式地比較

Writers are always told to avoid cliches

作家們都會避免陳腔爛調

because there's very little engagement for the reader in an overused image,

因為讀者對太常出現的畫面興趣缺缺

such as "red as a rose."

像是「玫瑰般的紅色」

But give them,

但如果我們說：

"Love...began on a beach.

「愛...萌生於海灘

It began that day when Jacob saw Anette in her stewed-cherry dress,"

萌生於雅各看見安妮特 穿著燉櫻桃色洋裝的那天」

and their brains engage in the absorbing task

讀者就會融入這引人入勝的思緒中

of figuring out what a stewed-cherry dress is like.

想像燉櫻桃色洋裝到底長怎樣

Suddenly, they're on a beach about to fall in love.

突然間，讀者來到了海灘 即將墜入情網

They're experiencing the story at both a visceral and a conceptual level,

他們會同時體驗到故事的內在和概念

meeting the writer halfway in the imaginative play

與作者富於想像力

of creating a dynamic world of the senses.

所創造出來的感官世界相契合

So when you write, use well-chosen words

所以當你動筆時， 用些精心挑選出的字

to engage sound, sight, taste, touch, smell, and movement.

來增加視、聽、味、觸、嗅 和動感的體驗

Then create unexpected connotations among your story elements,

接著在故事之中 設計些讓人料想不到的內容

and set your readers' brushfire imaginations alight.

點亮讀者的想像力