Rick Smolan: A girl, a photograph, a homecoming

譯者: Marie Wu 審譯者: Wang-Ju Tsai

Some of you have heard the story before,

有人應該已經聽過這個故事了，

but, in fact, there's somebody in the audience

但在座各位可能還沒有聽過這個故事，

who's never heard this story in front of an audience before,

我也從來未曾對聽眾講過這個故事，

所以這讓我比以往在講述這個故事時還要緊張。

so I'm a little more nervous than I normally am telling this story.

I used to be a photographer for many years.

我擔任攝影師很多年了，

In 1978, I was working for "TIME Magazine"

1978年時我受僱於時代雜誌，

and I was given a three-day assignment to photograph Amerasian children,

他們要我在三天的時間內，

拍攝出一些美裔亞洲孩童的相片，

children who had been fathered by American GIs all over Southeast Asia,

這些孩子的父親都是美國大兵，

他們散佈在東南亞，全都被父親遺棄了，

and then abandoned -- 40,000 children all over Asia.

全亞洲總計有4萬人之多。

I had never heard the word Amerasian before.

以前我從未聽過美裔亞洲人這個名詞，

I spent a few days photographing children in different countries,

我在幾個不同國家花了幾天時間為這些孩子照相，

and like a lot of photographers and a lot of journalists,

就像其他的攝影師或記者一樣，

I always hoped that when my pictures are published,

我也希望當我的照片被登出來時，

或許能改變一點現狀，

they might actually have an effect on a situation,

而不僅僅只是記錄這件事而已。

instead of just documenting it.

So, I was so disturbed by what I saw

我對我所看到的景像感到困惑，

and I was so unhappy with the article that ran afterwards,

對於後來搭配照片的文章也感到不快，

that I decided I would take six months off.

所以我決定停職六個月，

I was 28 years old.

那時我才28歲。

I decided I would find six children in different countries,

我決定，我要在不同的國家找到6個孩子，

多花一點時間與他們相處，

and actually go spend some time with the kids,

報導這些孩子們的故事，

and try to tell their story a little bit better

而且要比之前為時代雜誌所做的報導更為深入。

than I thought I had done for Time magazine.

為了要報導這個故事，

In the course of doing the story,

I was looking for children who hadn't been photographed before,

我得找一個以前從來沒有被人報導過的小孩，

and the Pearl Buck Foundation told me that they worked with a lot of Americans

而遺珠基金會告訴我，

他們與一些曾捐錢資助

who were donating money to help some of these kids.

這些孩子的美國人一起合作，

And a man told me,

其中一個在韓國為遺珠基金會工作的人告訴我，

who ran the Pearl Buck Foundation in Korea,

that there was a young girl, who was 11 years old,

有一個小女孩那時已經11歲了，由她的外婆扶養長大，

being raised by her grandmother.

她外婆從不曾讓任何西方人接近她，

And the grandmother had never let any Westerners see her.

Every time any Westerners came to the village, she hid the girl.

每次只要有西方人去到這個村落，外婆就把女孩藏起來。

Of course, I was immediately intrigued.

這立刻就引起我的好奇心，

I saw photographs of her and I thought I wanted to go.

我看到這女孩的照片，也決定要報導這女孩的故事。

And the guy just told me,

那人只說：「沒辦法，她外婆甚至不讓...

"This grandmother -- there's no way she's ever going to let you

她外婆不會讓你見她親手帶大的外孫女的。」

meet this girl that's she's raising."

我帶了一位翻譯前去那個村落，

I took a translator with me and went to this village,

找到那位外婆，坐下來和她談，

found the grandmother, sat down with her.

但出乎我意料之外，

And to my astonishment, she agreed to let me photograph her granddaughter.

外婆同意讓我為女孩拍照。

And I was paying for this myself, so I asked the translator

因為我這趟是由自己出資去的，所以我便問那翻譯，

if it would be OK if I stayed for the week.

問我是否能在那裡待上一個星期。

I had a sleeping bag.

我有自備睡袋，

The family had a small shed on the side of the house,

那家人在房子旁邊有個小棚，

so I said, "Could I sleep in my sleeping bag in the evenings?"

所以我問：「晚上是否可以讓我睡在睡袋裡？」

And I just told the little girl, whose name was Eun-Sook Lee,

那女孩的名叫李賢淑，雖然她長得很像美國人，

that if I ever did anything to embarrass her --

但她卻不會說英語，

she didn't speak a word of English, although she looked very American --

所以我告訴她，如果我做了什麼她不喜歡的事，

可以把手舉起來說「Stop(停止)」，

she could put up her hand and say, "Stop," and I would stop taking pictures.

這樣我就知道不要再幫她拍照了。

我的翻譯接著就離開了，

Then my translator left. I couldn't speak a word of Korean.

留下我一個人，連一句韓語也不會講，

那時我才第一次見到賢淑。

This is the first night I met Eun-Sook.

她的母親還在世，

Her mother was still alive.

She was not raising her, her grandmother was raising her.

但沒有扶養她，而是由外婆扶養。

我馬上就感受到

And what struck me immediately

was how in love the two of these people were.

這二人間親密的親情，

The grandmother was incredibly fond, deeply in love with this little girl.

外婆很溺愛這個小外孫女。

晚上她們睡在地板上，

They slept on the floor at night.

The way they heat their homes in Korea is to put bricks under the floors,

韓國人會在地板下鋪磚塊，

暖氣就會從地板下散放出來。

so the heat radiates from underneath the floor.

那時賢淑才11歲，

Eun-Sook was 11 years old.

I had photographed, as I said, a lot of these kids.

我幫這些孩子們拍了很多照片，

賢淑是我所拍攝的主題的第5個孩子。

Eun-Sook was the fifth child that I found to photograph.

And almost universally, amongst all the kids,

這些孩子在全世界都一樣，

they were really psychologically damaged

都成為別人捉弄、嘲笑的對象，不被認同，

by having been made fun of, ridiculed, picked on and been rejected.

因此心靈大受傷害；

And Korea was probably the place I found to be the worst for these kids.

而我覺得這些孩子

在韓國生活得更加艱苦。

And what struck me immediately in meeting Eun-Sook

我立刻就發現，

was how confident she appeared to be,

賢淑是一個很有自信的孩子，

how happy she seemed to be in her own skin.

她也十分能接受自己。

And remember this picture,

請記住這張照片，

because I'm going to show you another picture later.

因為待會兒我會給各位看另一張照片，

你可以看得出來她長得有多麼像她的外婆，

She looks much like her grandmother, although she looks so Western.

儘管她有著一張西方人的臉孔。

I decided to follow her to school.

我決定跟著她到學校拍攝，

這是我跟她到學校的第一天早上，

This is the first morning I stayed with her.

這是在上學途中，

This is on the way to school.

This is the morning assembly outside her school.

她們先在學校外面集合。

And I noticed that she was clowning around.

我發現她很愛開玩笑。

When the teachers would ask questions,

每當老師問問題的時候，

she'd be the first person to raise her hand.

她總是第一個舉手回答，

Again, not at all shy or withdrawn,

不會害羞也不孤僻，

or anything like the other children that I'd photographed.

一點也不像我拍攝的其他小孩。

The first one to go to the blackboard to answer questions.

她也總是第一個跑上黑板寫出答案的小孩。

她在課堂上和她最好的朋友咬耳朵，

Getting in trouble for whispering into her best friend's ears.

所以被處罰了。

And one of the other things I said to her through the translator --

和上次我教她說「停止」那件事一樣，

我也趁翻譯還在時請翻譯告訴她不要太在意我的拍攝，

again, this thing about saying stop -- was to not pay attention to me.

So she really just completely ignored me most of the time.

而她也就真的完全忽略我的存在。

I noticed that at recess,

我發現在下課時間，

she was the girl who picked the other girls to be on her team.

她負責挑選其他女孩到她的隊上，

It was very obvious, from the beginning, that she was a leader.

從一開始，她就表現得很明顯，她是領隊。

這時回家時的照片。

This is on the way home. And that's North Korea up along the hill.

山的那一邊就是北韓，

這一邊是非軍事區，

This is up along the DMZ.

They would actually cover the windows every night,

晚上大家都會把窗子遮蔽起來，以防光線外漏，

so that light couldn't be seen,

因為南韓政府長年宣導

because the South Korean government has said for years

that the North Koreans may invade at any time.

北韓可能隨時會進攻，

所以愈靠近北韓，大家就愈恐懼。

So the closer you were to North Korea, the more terrifying it was.

Very often at school, I'd be taking pictures,

我經常在學校幫她拍照，

and she would whisper into her girlfriends' ears,

她會偷偷和另一個女孩咬耳朵，

and then look at me and say, "Stop."

然後看著我說：「停止。」

And I would stand at attention, and all the girls would crack up,

當我想知道發生什麼事時，其他女孩已經笑成一團，

原來她是在作弄我。

and it was sort of a little joke.

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

The end of the week came and my translator came back,

一個星期過去後，翻譯又回來了，

因為我之前就有交代她要回來，

because I'd asked her to come back,

幫我好好謝謝賢淑和她外婆。

so I could formally thank the grandmother and Eun-Sook.

And in the course of the grandmother talking to the translator,

但在翻譯和外婆溝通時，

外婆哭了起來，

the grandmother started crying.

我問翻譯：「怎麼回事？外婆為什麼要哭？」

And I said to my translator, "What's going on, why is she crying?"

翻譯又和外婆說了一陣子，

And she spoke to the grandmother for a moment,

這下連翻譯也哭了起來，

and then she started getting tears in her eyes.

我問：「這到底是怎麼回事？我到底做了什麼？

And I said, "What did I do? Why is everyone crying?"

為什麼每個人都要哭？」

And the translator said,

翻譯說：「外婆說，

"The grandmother says that she thinks she's dying,

她覺得自己快死了，

and she wants to know if you would take Eun-Sook to America with you."

她想問你是不是可以把賢淑帶回美國？」

And I said, "I'm 28 years old and I live in hotels,

我說：「我才28歲，只在旅館暫時棲身，

也還沒結婚。」

and I'm not married."

I mean, I had fallen in love with this girl,

我真的很喜歡賢淑，

but you know, emotionally I was about 12 years old.

但這真的很不理性，就像個12歲小孩的表現一樣。

If you know of photographers,

如果你瞭解攝影這一行，你就會知道

the joke is it's the finest form of delayed adolescence ever invented.

為什麼大家都戲稱攝影師總是能把青春期無限延長：

「抱歉，我還要去趕另一場攝影，我待會兒再回來。」

"Sorry, I have to go on an assignment, I'll be back" --

然後就沒有再出現了。

and then you never come back.

於是我問翻譯為何外婆認為自己快死了，

So I asked the translator why she thought she was dying.

Can I get her to a hospital? Could I pay to get her a doctor?

或許我能帶她上醫院，或找個醫生來看她呢？

但她拒絕任何人的協助。

And she refused any help at all.

我走到屋外，

So when I got outside, I gave the translator some money and said,

給了翻譯一些錢，說：

"Go back and see if you can do something."

「請你再回來看看是不是能幫他們什麼忙。」

And I gave the grandmother my business card.

我把名片交給外婆，說：

And I said, "If you're serious, I will try to find a family for her."

「如果你是認真的，我會想辦法幫賢淑找個收養家庭。」

我馬上寫了封信給我最好的朋友，

And I immediately wrote a letter to my best friends in Atlanta, Georgia,

他住在喬治亞州亞特蘭大，有個11歲的兒子，

who had an 11-year-old son.

他曾經有次不經意地說出

And my best friend had mistakenly one day said something

他希望能有另一個孩子。

about wishing he had another child.

So my friends Gene and Gayle had not heard from me in about a year,

我和我的朋友金恩和蓋兒已經有一年沒有聯絡了，

and suddenly I was calling,

突然間我就告訴他們：「我在韓國，

saying "I'm in Korea and I've met this extraordinary girl."

我見到了一個很棒的女孩！」

And I said, "The grandmother thinks she's sick,

還說：「她外婆覺得自己生病了，

but I think maybe we would have to bring the grandmother over also."

所以我認為或許我們應該把外婆一起接過去。」

And I said, "I'll pay for the ... " I mean, I had this whole sort of picture.

我又說：「我會負擔費用...」我以為自己都計畫好了，

So anyway, I left.

所以我就離開了。

And my friends actually said they were very interested in adopting her.

後來我的朋友說他們對領養賢淑很有興趣，

And I said, "Look, I think I'll scare the grandmother to death,

我說：「如果我只是寫封信去告訴外婆

你想要領養賢淑這件事，

if I tell her that you're willing to adopt her.

外婆恐怕會被嚇死，我還是回去親自告訴她好了。」

I want to go back and talk to her." But I was off on assignment.

但我有另外的工作要做，

我以為我可以在幾星期之內完成，那時再回去告訴她。

I figured I'd come back in a couple of weeks

and talk to the grandmother.

接著就到了聖誕節，

And on Christmas Day, I was in Bangkok with a group of photographers

那時我在曼谷和一群攝影師一起工作，

and got a telegram -- back in those days, you got telegrams --

我收到一封電報，那個時代只能以電報緊急聯絡，

from Time magazine saying someone in Korea had died

時代雜誌的人告訴我韓國的某人死了，

留下一個孩子和一封遺囑要給我。

and left their child in a will to me.

Did I know anything about this?

他們問我是否知道這件事？

Because I hadn't told them what I was doing,

我並沒有告訴雜誌社之前那段時間我做了什麼，

because I was so upset with the story they'd run.

因為我對他們之前所報導的專題很不滿意。

So, I went back to Korea, and I went back to Eun-Sook's village,

於是我趕回韓國，回到賢淑的村落，

但賢淑不見了，

and she was gone.

And the house that I had spent time in was empty.

那棟我曾住過的房子已經空了，

在那冬天顯得特別冷。

It was incredibly cold.

No one in the village would tell me where Eun-Sook was,

村子裡沒人願意告訴我賢淑去了哪裡，

因為他們記得外婆總是不讓西方人接近賢淑，

because the grandmother had always hidden her from Westerners.

他們也不知道外婆曾留了一份遺囑給我。

And they had no idea about this request that she'd made of me.

最後我找到宋明，

So I finally found Myung Sung,

her best friend that she used to play with after school every day.

她是賢淑每天放學後最好的玩伴，

我和翻譯給了宋明一些壓力，

And Myung Sung, under some pressure from me and the translator,

gave us an address on the outside of Seoul.

她才給了我們在首爾郊外的一個住址。

And I went to that address and knocked on the door,

我找到那個地方，敲了敲門，

有個男人來應門。

and a man answered the door.

It was not a very nice area of Seoul, there were mud streets outside of it.

那個地方算是首爾較差的區域，

外圍的街道都還是泥巴地。

And I knocked on the door and Eun-Sook answered the door,

接著賢淑出現了，

and her eyes were bloodshot, and she seemed to be in shock.

她的眼眶很紅，看來是受到了驚嚇，

She didn't recognize me -- there was no recognition whatsoever.

她沒有認出我，像是不認識我一樣。

And this man came to the door and kind of barked something in Korean.

男人馬上來到門前，開始對我大聲咆哮著韓語，

我問翻譯：「他說了什麼？」

And I said to the translator, "What did he say?"

And she said, "He wants to know who you are."

她說：「他想知道你是誰。」

我說：「告訴他我是個攝影師。」

And I said, "Tell him that I am a photographer."

我想要解釋我的身份，但是他制止我，

I started explaining who I was, and he interrupted.

And she said, "He says he knows who you are, what do you want?"

翻譯說：「他說他知道你是誰，但你要做什麼？」

I said, "Well, tell him that I was asked by this little girl's grandmother

我說：「告訴他，我是應她外婆的要求，

來幫賢淑找個收養家庭的。」

to find a family for her."

And he said, "I'm her uncle, she's fine, you can leave now."

他說：「我是她舅舅，她很好，你可以走了。」

So I was --

他就把門在我面前猛地關上，

The door was being slammed in my face,

it's incredibly cold, and I'm trying to think,

外面真的很冷，我試著回想：

"What would the hero do in a movie, if I was writing this as a movie script?"

「如果我是電影編劇，

我會怎麼安排英雄出場呢？」

So I said, "It's really cold, I've come a very long way,

我說：「嘿，外面很冷，我走了這麼遠的路才來到這裡，

是不是可以讓我進來待個一分鐘？我真的快凍死了。」

do you mind if I come in for a minute? I'm freezing."

那男人不太甘願地讓我們進去，就讓我們坐在地板上，

So the guy reluctantly let us in and we sat down on the floor.

當我們開始談話時，我看到他在吼叫著什麼，

And as we started talking, I saw him yell something,

接著賢淑就跑出來，為我們端上一些食物。

and Eun-Sook came and brought us some food.

And I had this whole mental picture of -- sort of like Cinderella.

我突然覺得賢淑就好像灰姑娘，

I sort of had this picture of this incredibly wonderful,

原本是一個很活潑、

bright, happy little child,

積極、快樂的小女孩，現在變得很內向，

who now appeared to be very withdrawn, being enslaved by this family.

在這個家庭裡像是奴隸一樣。

And I was really appalled, and I couldn't figure out what to do.

我覺得很害怕，不知道該做些什麼。

And the more I tried talking to him, the less friendly he was getting.

我愈想和他說些什麼，這個男人卻愈來愈不友善，

於是我下定決心，我說：「嘿！」

So finally I said "Look," -- this is all through the translator,

我的話全由翻譯轉達，

because, you know, I don't speak a word of Korean --

因為我不會說半句韓語，

and I said, "Look, I'm really glad that Eun-Sook has a family to live with.

我說：「嘿！我很高興賢淑可以和家人一起住，

我之前真的很替她擔心，

I was very worried about her.

因為我答應過她的外婆，也就是你的母親，我會幫她找個收養家庭，

I made a promise to her grandmother, your mother, that I would find a family,

我很高興你願意照顧賢淑。」

and I'm so happy that you're going to take care of her.

我說：「但是我的回程機票

But I bought an airline ticket and I'm stuck here for a week.

是訂在一個星期之後，

所以我會在市中心的旅館裡住一個星期，

I'm staying in a hotel downtown.

你們明天願意過來和我一起吃個中飯嗎？

Would you like to come and have lunch tomorrow?

你也可以練習一下你的英文。」因為他告訴過我這件事，

And you can practice your English."

那時我正想多瞭解他一點。

Because he told me -- I was trying to ask him questions about himself.

於是我回到旅館，又找到另外二個年紀較大的美裔亞洲人，

And so I went to the hotel, and I found two older Amerasians.

A girl whose mother had been a prostitute,

女孩的母親以前是個妓女，

and she was a prostitute,

女孩自己也曾做過妓女，

and a boy who'd been in and out of jail.

男孩則是不斷在監獄裡進出。

And I said to them, "Look, there's a little girl

我告訴他們：「有個小女孩，

who has a tiny chance of getting out of here

她可能有一絲機會可以離開這裡去美國，

and going to America.

I don't know if it's the right decision or not,

我不知道這個決定是否正確，

but I would like you to come to lunch tomorrow

但我希望你們明天一起來吃中飯，

and tell the uncle what it's like to walk down the street,

告訴那位舅舅外面的世界是怎麼樣的，

現在外面的人都對你們說些什麼，還有你們怎麼謀生活，

what people say to you, what you do for a living.

I want him to understand what happens if she stays here.

我希望他能瞭解賢淑待在這裡的下場會是如何，

And I could be wrong, I don't know, but I wish you would come tomorrow."

我的決定可能是錯的，我不知道，但是我希望你們明天都能來。」

這二個孩子第二天都來吃中飯，

So, these two came to lunch and we got thrown out of the restaurant.

但我們被餐廳趕了出來，

They were yelling at him, it got to be really ugly.

因為他們對著這位舅舅大吼，場面真的很難看。

We went outside, and he was just furious.

我們走到外頭，舅舅還是餘怒難平，

And I knew I had totally blown this thing.

我知道我搞砸了，

Here I was again, trying to figure out what to do.

只能再想辦法解決。

And he started yelling at me, and I said to the translator,

但這位舅舅開始對我吼，我只好問翻譯：

「請他冷靜一下吧，他在說什麼？」

"Tell him to calm down, what is he saying?"

她說：「舅舅說，

And she said, "He's saying, 'Who the hell are you to walk into my house,

你算哪根葱敢到我的家裡，

以為你是個有錢的美國人，脖子上還掛著照相機就了不起啊，

some rich American with your cameras around your neck,

accusing me of enslaving my niece?

還敢說我虐待我的外甥女？

This is my niece, I love her, she's my sister's daughter.

這是我外甥女，我愛她，她是我姐姐的女兒，

Who the hell are you to accuse me of something like this?'"

你是什麼玩意兒，

敢跟說我這些？」

And I said, you know, "Look, you're absolutely right.

我只好說：「你說的都對，

I don't pretend to understand what's going on here.

我並不瞭解你們的關係，

All I know is, I've been photographing a lot of these children.

我只知道我為這些孩子拍過很多照片，

我很喜歡你的外甥女，

I'm in love with your niece,

I think she's an incredibly special child."

我覺得她是個很特別的孩子。

And I said, "Look, I will fly my friends over here from the United States

如果你願意，我會請我的朋友

從美國坐飛機過來，讓你看看是否安心。

if you want to meet them, to see if you approve of them.

我只是覺得，就我對這裡的瞭解，

I just think that -- what little I know about the situation,

she has very little chance here of having the kind of life

她在這裡是很難得到

that you probably would like her to have."

你想要給她過的那種生活。」

So, everyone told me afterwards that inviting the prospective parents over

後來，每個人都說我讓收養家庭到這裡來，

是我做過最蠢的事了，

was, again, the stupidest thing I could have possibly done,

還有什麼人會比自己的親人還親的呢？

because who's ever good enough for your relative?

But he invited me to come to a ceremony they were having that day

後來，這位舅舅邀請我去參加

他們為賢淑外婆所舉辦的葬禮，

for her grandmother.

And they actually take items of clothing and photographs,

他們把衣物和照片都拿了出來，

and they burn them as part of the ritual.

依葬禮的儀式把他們全都燒了。

And you can see how different she looks just in three months.

你可以看得出來賢淑在這三個月裡有多大的轉變，

我想這是在二月初照的照片，

This was now, I think, early February.

And the pictures before were taken in September.

之前的照片則是在九月份照的。

Well, there was an American Maryknoll priest

我在為這些孩子拍攝照片時，曾遇到過

that I had met in the course of doing the story,

一位美國海軍牧師，

who had 75 children living in his house.

他收養了75個孩子在他的房子裡，

He had three women helping him take care of these kids.

有三位女士協助他照顧這些孩子。

因此，我建議這位舅舅，

And so I suggested to the uncle that we go down and meet Father Keane

一起去見見肯恩神父，

to find out how the adoption process worked.

看看要怎麼辦理領養手續，

Because I wanted him to feel

因為我想讓他知道，

like this was all being done very much above board.

這一切都能處理得很好。

So, this is on the way down to the orphanage.

這是我們要去孤兒院的途中，

This is Father Keane. He's just a wonderful guy.

這位是肯恩神父，他人很好，

He had kids from all over Korea living there,

這裡的孩子來自韓國各地，

and he would find families for these kids.

他會為這些孩子尋找收養家庭。

This is a social worker interviewing Eun-Sook.

這位社工正在和賢淑訪談，

Now, I had always thought she was completely untouched by all of this,

我覺得賢淑以前一定沒有接觸過這些，

因為在我看來，她的外婆似乎是

because the grandmother, to me,

村子裡很有智慧的老者，

appeared to be sort of the village wise woman --

throughout the day, I noticed people kept coming to visit her grandmother.

每天我都會看到不斷有人來拜訪她的外婆，

而我一直在心裡認為，

And I always had this mental picture

that even though they may have been one of the poorer families in the village,

即使他們家是村子裡最窮的一家，

they were one of the most respected.

但卻是最受人尊敬的家庭。

And I always felt that the grandmother had kind of demanded, and insisted,

我也一直認為外婆有某種堅持，

希望村民能善待賢淑，就像他們敬重她一樣。

that the villagers treat Eun-Sook with the same respect they treated her.

Eun-Sook stayed at Father Keane's,

於是賢淑留在肯恩神父的孤兒院裡，

and her uncle agreed to let her stay there until the adoption went through.

她的舅舅同意讓她待在這裡，直到領養程序完成為止，

他最後還是同意了讓人領養賢淑。

He actually agreed to the adoption.

And I went off on assignment and came back a week later,

我又回去工作，一個星期後又回來，

and Father Keane said, "I've got to talk to you about Eun-Sook."

肯恩神父說：「我得和你談談賢淑。」

我回說：「老天啊！又怎麼了？」

I said, "Oh God, now what?"

他把我帶進他的房間，把門關上，

And he takes me into this room, closes the door and says,

說：「我這個孤兒院裡有75個孩子，真是一團亂，

"I have 75 children here in the orphanage, and it's total bedlam."

到處都是衣服，到處都是孩子，

There's clothes, there's kids.

Three adults and 75 kids -- you can imagine.

只有3個大人在照顧這75個孩子，你想想看是什麼情形。

And he said, "The second day she was here she made up a list

賢淑到這裡的第二天，她就列出所有孩子的名單，

of all of the names of the older kids and the younger kids.

分成大孩子和小孩子二組，

And she assigned one of the older kids to each of the younger kids.

她為每一個小孩子指派一個大孩子來照顧，

然後再列出一份工作清單，

And then she set up a work detail list of who cleaned the orphanage on what day."

要每個人輪流清掃整個孤兒院。

And he said, "She's telling me that I'm messy

她也告訴我說我太亂了，要我把自己的房間整理好。

and I have to clean up my room."

我真不知道是誰把她帶大的，

And he said, "I don't know who raised her, but she's running the orphanage,

但是，她現在把孤兒院打理得很好，

她才來這裡三天而已耶！」

and she's been here three days."

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

This was movie day that she organized where all the kids went to the movies.

這是她安排的電影日，每個小孩都來看電影。

很多被領養的小孩，

A lot of the kids who had been adopted wrote back to the other kids,

都會寫信回來給其他的孩子，

telling them what their life was like with their new families.

告訴大家他們在新的家庭過得如何，

So it was a really big deal when the letters showed up.

所以每當有信件來的時候，就是一件大事。

這位女士是在孤兒院工作，

This is a woman who is now working at the orphanage,

她的兒子也被人領養了。

whose son had been adopted.

Gene and Gayle started studying Korean

金恩和蓋兒從接到我的信起，

the moment they had gotten my first letter.

就開始學起韓國話來了，

They really wanted to be able to welcome Eun-Sook into their family.

他們真的希望能夠領養賢淑。

And one of the things Father Keane told me

在我回到韓國時，

when I came back from one of these trips --

肯恩神父還告訴了我一件事，賢淑幫自己取了個英文名字Natasha(娜塔莎)，

Eun-Sook had chosen the name Natasha,

which I understood was from her watching a "Rocky and Bullwinkle" cartoon

我一聽就知道，

這個名字是她在美國空軍基地看鹿兄鼠弟卡通片時得到的靈感。

on the American Air Force station.

This may be one of those myth-buster things

但這或許也是那些神祕難解的事情的其中之一而已吧！

that we'll have to clear up here, in a minute.

So, my friend Gene flew over with his son, Tim.

我的朋友金恩和他的兒子提姆一起飛到韓國來，

Gayle couldn't come.

蓋兒有事走不開。

And they spent a lot of time huddled over a dictionary.

他們花了很多時間在翻字典。

And this was Gene showing the uncle

這是金恩告訴賢淑舅舅亞特蘭大在地圖上的位置，也就是他住的地方。

where Atlanta was on the map, where he lived.

This is the uncle signing the adoption papers.

舅舅正在簽署領養文件。

那天晚上我們一起出去吃晚飯慶祝，

Now, we went out to dinner that night to celebrate.

舅舅自己回去了，

The uncle went back to his family

所以娜塔莎、提姆、金恩和我一起吃晚飯。

and Natasha and Tim and Gene and I went out to dinner.

And Gene was showing Natasha how to use a knife and fork,

金恩向娜塔莎說明該怎麼使用刀叉，

and then Natasha was returning the utensil lessons.

娜塔莎則向他們解釋如何使用筷子。

當我們回到旅館之後，

We went back to our hotel room,

金恩就告訴娜塔莎亞特蘭大在哪裡。

and Gene was showing Natasha also where Atlanta was.

這是我們在韓國待的第三個晚上，

This is the third night we were in Korea.

第一天晚上我們把孩子們的房間安排在我們隔壁。

The first night we'd gotten a room for the kids right next to us.

I'd been staying in this room for about three months --

我已經在這個房間待了有三個月的時間了，

這是韓國一間小型的15層樓旅館。

it was a little 15-story Korean hotel.

The second night, we didn't keep the kids' room,

所以第二天晚上，我們把孩子們的房間退掉，

because we slept on the floor with all the kids at the orphanage.

我們去孤兒院和所有的孩子一樣睡在地板上。

And the third night, we came back --

第三天晚上我們又回來，出去吃了晚飯，

就是各位剛才看到的照片，然後才去櫃台，

we'd just gone out to dinner, where you saw the pictures --

但櫃台的人說：

and we got to the front desk, and the guy said,

「今天晚上你們那一層樓已經沒有房間了，

"There's no other free rooms on your floor tonight,

但你們下面五層樓的樓面上還有空房間，可以讓孩子們住。」

you can put the kids five floors below you."

And Gene and I looked at each other and said,

我看金恩互相對看了一眼說：

"We don't want two 11-year-olds five floors away."

「不，我們不要和二個11歲的孩子離那麼遠。」

金恩的兒子說：「爸爸，我有一個睡袋，我就睡在地板上好了。」

So his son said, "I have a sleeping bag, I'll sleep on the floor."

我也說：「對，我也有一個睡袋。」

And I said, "I have one too." So Tim and I slept on the floor,

所以提姆和我就睡在地板上，

Natasha got one bed, Gene got the other -- kids pass out,

娜塔莎睡一張床，金恩睡另一張床，孩子們都呼呼大睡，

那三天真是非常有趣。

it's been very exciting for three days.

我和金恩還在聊著我們所做的事情有多麼酷，

We're lying in bed, and Gene and I are talking about how cool we are.

We said, "That was so great, we saved this little girl's life."

我們說：「我們真的很棒！我們救了這小女孩一命！」

We were just like, you know, just full of ourselves.

我們談的全都是自己有多棒，

And we fall asleep --

然後就慢慢睡去。

and I've been in this room for a couple of months now.

我在這房間已經住了好幾個月，

And they always overheat the hotels in Korea terribly,

韓國人總是把房間暖氣開得很強，

so during the day I always left the window open.

所以白天的時候我總是把窗戶打開，

And then about midnight, they turn the heat off in the hotel.

但到了午夜的時候，旅館會把暖氣關掉，

所以在凌晨一點左右，整個房間就降到了零下20度，我就會冷得醒過來，

So at 1am, the whole room would be like 20 below zero, and I'd get up.

I'd been doing this every night I'd been there.

每個晚上都是一樣。

So, sure enough, it's one o'clock, room's freezing,

那天晚上也不例外，凌晨一點房間就冷得不得了，

I go to close the window and I hear people shouting outside,

我起來把窗戶關上，但卻聽到門外有人在大聲叫喊，

and I thought, "Oh, the bars must have just gotten out."

我心想：「噢，吧台剛打烊吧。」

I don't speak Korean, but I'm hearing these voices,

我聽不懂韓語，但我聽得到他們的聲音，

他們的聲音沒有憤怒的情緒，反而有驚恐的情緒。

and I'm not hearing anger, I'm hearing terror.

So I open the window and I look out,

於是我打開窗戶往外看，

and there's flames coming up the side of our hotel,

看到有火苗從旅館邊上竄上來，

整個旅館都著火了。

and the hotel's on fire.

So I run over to Gene and I wake him up,

我趕忙跑到金恩那邊，把他搖醒，

and I say, "Don't freak out, I think the hotel's on fire."

我說：「金恩，別緊張，我想旅館失火了。」

And now there's smoke and flames coming by our windows --

那時火焰和煙霧不斷從窗戶竄進來，我們住在11樓，

we're on the 11th floor.

So the two of us were just like, "Oh my God, oh my God."

我們二個口裡不斷唸著：「噢，老天爺！老天啊！」

我們把娜塔莎叫醒，但卻無法與她溝通，

So we're trying to get Natasha up, and we can't talk to her.

You know what kids are like when they've been asleep for like an hour,

你也知道孩子剛睡下去一個鐘頭會是什麼樣子，

就像吃了五顆安眠藥一樣，完全叫不醒。

it's like they took five Valiums -- they're all over the place.

我們也不懂韓語。

And we can't talk to her.

我還記得提姆穿的是里昂比恩的靴子，

His son had the L.L.Bean bootlaces, and we're trying to do up his laces.

我們只好幫他綁鞋帶。

So we try to get to the door, we run to the door, we open the door,

接下來我們跑到門邊，

把門打開，就像走到爆炸的熔爐裡一樣，

and it's like walking into a blast furnace.

There's people screaming, the sound of glass breaking, weird thumps.

到處都有人在尖叫，還有玻璃破碎的聲音，

和詭異的撞擊聲。

And the whole room filled with smoke in about two seconds.

二秒之內整個房間就充滿了煙霧，

And Gene turns around and says, "We're not going to make it."

金恩回過頭來跟我說：「我們出不去了。」

他把門關上，房間裡已經都是煙霧，

And he closes the door, and the whole room is now filled with smoke.

We're all choking, and there's smoke

我們都被煙嗆到了，煙霧從通風管灌下來，

pouring through the vents, under the doors.

從門縫裡鑽進來，外面還有人在尖叫。

There's people screaming.

我只記得是一片混亂。

I just remember this unbelievable -- just utter chaos.

I remember sitting near the bed, and I had two overwhelming feelings.

我記得自己坐在床邊，

有二種感覺排山倒海而來，

One was absolute terror. "Oh, please God, I just want to wake up.

第一種是恐懼，就像是做惡夢，「上帝啊！求求你讓我醒來，

This has got to be a nightmare, this can't be happening.

這一定是惡夢，這不是真的，

拜託，讓我醒來，這一定是惡夢。」

Please, I just want to wake up."

另一種感覺則是無以言喻的罪惡感，

And the other is unbelievable guilt.

Here I've been playing God with my friends' lives,

我覺得自己想在這裡扮演救世主，但卻拿朋友、朋友的兒子和娜塔莎的性命在開玩笑，

my friends' son, with Natasha's life,

and this what you get when you try playing God, is you hurt people.

當你想扮演救世主，你就會傷到別人。

I remember just being so frightened and terrified.

我只記得自己無比驚恐，

And Gene, who's lying on the floor, says,

但是躺在地板上的金恩卻說：

"We've got to soak towels." I said, "What?"

「老天，我們得把毛巾弄濕。」我說：「什麼？」

他說：「我們得把毛巾弄濕，我們會被煙給嗆死。」

"We've got to soak towels. We're going to die from the smoke."

於是我們跑到浴室裡，拿出毛巾，

So got towels and put them over our faces and the kids' faces.

覆蓋在自己的臉上，也覆蓋在孩子們的臉上，

Then he said, "Do you have gaffer's tape?"

金恩又問：「你有沒有膠帶？」

"What?" "Do you have gaffer's tape?"

我說：「什麼？」他說：「你有沒有膠帶？」

I said, "Somewhere in my Halliburton."

我說：「有，在我的行李箱裡。」

He says, "We've got to stop the smoke. That's all we can do."

他說：「我們得阻止煙跑進來，

這是我們唯一能做的事，別再讓煙跑進來了。」

I mean, Gene -- thank God for Gene.

感謝上帝，有了金恩在我身邊。

So we put the room service menus over the vents in the wall,

於是我們把客房服務的菜單擋在通風口前，

we put blankets at the bottom of the door,

把毯子塞住門縫，

we put the kids on the windowsill to try to get some air.

把孩子們放到窗臺上，以便呼吸到一些空氣。

And there was a new building, going up,

那時附近有一棟正在興建的大樓，

that was being built right across the street from our hotel.

就建在旅館的對街上，

And there, in the building, were photographers,

我們看到在那棟建築上有許多攝影師，

正等待捕捉人們跳樓的畫面。

waiting for people to jump.

最後有11個人在這場大火中喪生，

Eleven people ended up dying in the fire.

Five people jumped and died, other people were killed by the smoke.

其中有5人是跳樓死的，另外6人是被煙嗆死的。

And there's this loud thumping on the door after about 45 minutes in all this,

大約45分鐘之後，門上傳來很大聲的撞擊聲，

and people were shouting in Korean.

有人用韓語大聲叫喊著，

And I remember --

娜塔莎要我們別開門，

Natasha didn't want us opening the door --

sorry, I was trying not to open the door,

噢不，是我不想把門打開，

because we'd spent so much time barricading the room.

因為我們花了很多時間把門堵住，

我不知道門外有誰，也不知道他們要幹什麼，

I didn't know who it was, I didn't know what they wanted,

但娜塔莎知道他們是消防員，他們是要來救我們出去的。

and Natasha could tell they were firemen trying to get us out.

我只記得我們為了要打開門還發生了一些爭執，

I remember a sort of a tussle at the door, trying to get the door open.

反正在12個小時之後，他們把我們安置在旅館大廳，

In any case, 12 hours later -- I mean, they put us in the lobby.

Gene ended up using his coat, and his fist in the coat,

金恩最後用外套包住拳頭，打破了一個酒櫃。

to break open a liquor cabinet.

大家都只能躺在地上，

People were lying on the floor.

It was one of just the most horrifying nights.

那真是一個恐怖的夜晚。

And then 12 hours later, we rented a car, as we had planned to,

12個小時之後，我們租了一輛車，依照原訂計畫，

and drove back to Natasha's village.

我們開回娜塔莎的村落，

And we kept saying, "Do you realize we were dying in a hotel fire,

我們不斷說著：「我們差點就死在那場旅館大火裡了，

那才不過是八個鐘頭前的事吧？」

like eight hours ago?"

It's so weird how life just goes on.

人生有時就是這麼奇妙。

Natasha wanted to introduce her brother and father to all the villagers,

娜塔莎想為村民們介紹她的新爸爸和新哥哥，

但那天正好是某位長者的60大壽，

and the day we showed up turned out to be a 60-year-old man's birthday.

This guy's 60 years old.

那老人已經60歲了，

So it turned into a dual celebration,

於是我們合併慶祝，因為娜塔莎是村子裡

because Natasha was the first person from this village

第一個要去美國的人。

ever to go to the United States.

這些是溫室的帳篷，

So, these are the greenhouse tents.

這些老人正在教金恩跳他們的舞步，

This is the elders teaching Gene their dances.

We drank a lot of rice wine.

我們喝了很多米酒，每個人都喝得爛醉，

We were both so drunk, I couldn't believe it.

我真不敢相信！

This is the last picture before Gene and Tim headed back.

這是金恩和提姆返國前的最後一張照片，

The adoption people told us

領養機構的人說，整個領養程序要花上一年的時間，

it was going to take a year for the adoption to go through.

Like, what could you do for a year?

那在這一年裡能做什麼？

So I found out the name of every official on both the Korean and American side,

於是我將韓國和美國二邊每一個官員的名字都找出來，

and I photographed them,

我為他們都照了相，

and told them how famous they were going to be when this book was done.

還告訴他們等我的書出了之後，他們會變得很有名。

And four months later, the adoption papers came through.

四個月之後，領養程序就完成了。

This is saying goodbye to everybody at the orphanage.

這是和孤兒院裡每個人道別的照片，

This is Father Keane with Natasha at the bus stop.

肯恩神父送娜塔莎到公車站，

Her great aunt at the airport.

娜塔莎的姨婆和她在飛機場道別。

I had a wonderful deal with Cathay Pacific airlines for many years,

多年來，我都和國泰航空保持良好關係，

where they gave me free passes on all their airlines

因為我替他們攝影，於是我得到了免費機票，

in return for photography.

It was like the ultimate perk.

這簡直就是最高優惠。

And the pilot, I actually knew --

我也認識飛機駕駛，因為他們常讓我坐飛機上空服員的活動摺椅，

because they used to let me sit in the jump seat,

還會告訴我那摺椅的年代有多久遠。

to tell you how long ago this was.

這是一架三星飛機，他們也讓娜塔莎坐摺椅。

This is a TriStar, and so they let Natasha actually sit in the jump seat.

And the pilot, Jeff Cowley, actually went back

傑夫．考利是這次航行的駕駛，

and adopted one of the other kids at the orphanage after meeting Natasha.

他因為娜塔莎的緣故，也回到孤兒院去認養了一個孩子。

This is 28 hours later in Atlanta.

28小時之後我們在亞特蘭大降落，真是一趟長途飛行。

It's a very long flight.

Just to make things even crazier, Gayle, Natasha's new mom,

事情好像還不夠複雜似的，

娜塔莎的新媽媽蓋兒，

was three days away from giving birth to her own daughter.

還有三天就要生下一個女嬰了。

You know, if you were writing this, you'd say,

如果你是編劇，你一定會說：

"No, we've got to write the script differently."

「不，劇本不能這樣寫。」

This is the first night showing Natasha her new cousins and uncles and aunts.

這是娜塔莎到的第一晚，所有的叔叔、阿姨、表兄弟姐妹全都到了，

Gene and Gayle know everyone in Atlanta -- they're the most social couple imaginable.

金恩和蓋兒在亞特蘭大人面很廣，

他們是社交場合最活躍的一對夫婦。

So, at this point, Natasha doesn't speak a word of English,

那時娜塔莎還不會說半句英語，

她只懂肯恩神父教她的那一點點英語。

other than what little Father Keane taught her.

This is Kylie, her sister, who's now a doctor, on the right.

右邊的是凱莉，娜塔莎的妹妹，現在是個醫生。

This is a deal I had with Natasha, which is that when we got to Atlanta

這是我和娜塔莎之間的約定，當我們回到亞特蘭大後，

she could cut off my beard.

她可以剪掉我的鬍子，

She never liked it very much.

她一向都不喜歡我的鬍子。

She learned English in three months.

她在三個月之內就學會了英語，

She entered seventh grade at her own age level.

她讀的是她這個年紀該上的七年級。

第一次宣誓效忠美國。

Pledge of Allegiance for the first time.

This is her cooking teacher.

這是她的烹飪老師。

Natasha told me a lot of the kids thought she was stuck up,

娜塔莎告訴我說其他小孩覺得她很高傲，

because they would talk to her and she wouldn't answer,

因為他們跟她說話她卻不回答，

但他們並不知道，娜塔莎一開始並不能說很流利的英語。

and they didn't realize she didn't speak English very well.

但我在旁邊觀察，我注意到一件事，

But what I noticed, again as an observer,

她又在為自己的隊伍挑選成員了，

was she was choosing who was going to be on her team,

and seemed to be very popular very, very quickly.

而且很快就能和大家打成一片了。

Now, remember the picture,

現在看看這張照片，

how much she looked like her grandmother, at the beginning?

看看娜塔莎和她外婆之前的照片有多像？

People were always telling Natasha how much she looks like her mother, Gayle.

大家都說娜塔莎長得很像蓋兒媽媽。

(Laughter)

This is a tense moment in the first football game, I think.

這是第一場橄欖球賽的緊張時刻。

And Kylie -- I mean, it was almost like Kylie was her own child.

凱莉就像是娜塔莎自己的孩子一樣，

She's being baptized.

這是她受洗的畫面。

許多父母在領養孩子之後，

Now, a lot of parents, when they adopt,

actually want to erase their children's history.

都想要抺去孩子的過去，

但金恩和蓋兒的作法完全相反，

And Gayle and Gene did the complete opposite.

他們開始學韓國話，買韓國的服飾來穿。

They were studying Korean; they bought Korean clothes.

Gene even did a little tile work in the kitchen,

金恩甚至在廚房用磁磚貼出了一幅畫，

which was that, "Once upon a time, there was a beautiful girl

描述在很久以前，

有個來自韓國山間的美麗女孩，快樂地生活在亞特蘭大。

that came from the hills of Korea to live happily ever after in Atlanta."

She hates this picture -- it was her first job.

娜塔莎很討厭這幅畫。這是她的第一份工作，

She bought a bright red Karmann Ghia

她用她在漢堡王打工賺來的錢，

with the money she made working at Burger King.

買了一輛亮紅色的車。

The captain of the cheerleaders.

啦啦隊隊長、

Beauty pageant.

選美盛會。

Used to do their Christmas card every year.

他們每年都會自己製作聖誕節卡片。

Gene's been restoring this car for a million years.

金恩整修這台車已經有一百萬年了吧！

Kodak hired Natasha to be a translator for them at the Olympics in Korea.

柯達軟片公司聘請娜塔莎擔任韓國奧運的翻譯。

Her future husband, Jeff, was working for Canon cameras,

她未來的丈夫，傑夫，在佳能相機工作，

他們是在奧運村認識的。

and met Natasha at the Olympic Village.

This is her first trip back to Korea. So there's her uncle.

這是她第一次回到韓國，旁邊是她舅舅，

This is her half sister.

還有她同母異父的妹妹。

She went back to the village.

她回到自己的村子，那是她最要好朋友的母親。

That's her best friend's mother.

And I always thought that was a very Annie Hall kind of outfit.

我一直覺得那很像安妮霍爾那部電影裡的戲服，

(Laughter)

It's just, you know, it was just so interesting, just to watch --

看上去就很有趣，

this is her mother in the background there.

她母親在後面的某處。

This is Natasha's wedding day.

這是娜塔莎的結婚典禮，

Gene is looking a little older.

金恩看起來老了一點。

This is Sydney, who's going to be three years old in a couple of days.

這是席妮，再過幾天就三歲了，

And there's Evan.

還有伊芳。

And Natasha, would you just come up, for a second,

娜塔莎，你可以出來一下嗎？

跟大家打個招呼？

just maybe to say hello to everybody?

(掌聲)

(Applause)

Natasha's actually never heard me tell the story.

其實娜塔莎從來沒有聽我講過這個故事，

我們只是一起看這些照片。

You know, we've looked at the pictures together.

Natasha: I've seen pictures millions of times,

娜塔莎：我看這些照片幾百遍了，

but today was the first time I'm actually seeing him give the whole presentation.

但今天是我第一次看到他完整地呈現出來。

我要哭了。

I started crying.

瑞克：我相信她至少會說我犯了40個以上的錯誤，

Rick Smolan: There's about 40 things she's going to tell me,

「事情不是這樣的啦！不是你說的那樣！」

"That wasn't what happened." Natasha: I'll tell you that later.

娜塔莎：我等會兒就會糾正你。

(笑聲)

RS: Anyway, thank you, Mike and Richard, so much for letting us tell the story.

瑞克：謝謝你，麥克，還有理察，

非常感謝你們讓我說出這個故事，

Thank you, all of you.

謝謝各位！

(Applause)

(掌聲)