Jamil Abu-Wardeh: The Axis of Evil Middle East Comedy Tour

譯者: Marie Wu 審譯者: Geoff Chen

This talk is about righting writing wrongs.

我要講的題目是：糾正故事裡的錯誤。

No, the sound's not faulty -- righting writing wrongs.

不，你沒有聽錯，就是：糾正故事裡的錯誤。

The Middle East is huge,

中東世界很廣大，

and with all our problems, one thing's for sure: we love to laugh.

儘管我們有許多問題，但有一件事是確定的：我們很愛笑。

I think humor is a great way to celebrate our differences.

我認為幽默是表現我們彼此差異的最佳方法，

We need to take our responsibilities seriously,

我們當然得認真看待自己的責任，

but not ourselves.

但不需要太認真很待自己。

Don't get me wrong: it's not like we don't have comedy in the Middle East.

別誤會，我並不是說在中東沒有喜劇，

I grew up at a time when iconic actors

許多知名演員的喜劇表演陪伴我長大，

from Kuwait, Syria, Egypt

他們來自科威特、敘利亞和埃及，

used laughter to unite the region,

用笑聲征服了整個中東世界，

just as football can.

就像大家瘋足球一樣。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Now is the time for us to laugh at ourselves,

現在，在別人能和我們一同歡樂之前，

before others can laugh with us.

我們得先學會嘲弄自己。

This is the story of the rise and rise of stand-up comedy in the Middle East --

我要講的是脫口秀喜劇在中東崛起的故事，

a stand-up uprising, if you will.

如果大家捧場的話，脫口秀就有崛起的一天。

Working in London as TV maker and writer,

我之前是在倫敦擔任電視節目製作人和編劇，

I quickly realized

我很快就發現，

that comedy connects audiences.

喜劇很容易引發觀眾共鳴。

Now, the best breeding ground for good comic writing

現在，培育好的喜劇編劇的最佳溫床

is the stand-up comedy circuit,

就是脫口秀喜劇巡演，

where they just happen to say that you kill when you do well

那一行的行話是：說得好他們就愛死你，

and you bomb when you do badly.

說得不好他們就炸死你。

An unfortunate connection for us maybe,

這聽起來或許有點恐怖，

but it reminds me

但這讓我想到，

that we'd like to thank one man for, over the past decade,

我們得感謝一個人，那個人在過去十年裡，

working tirelessly

不屈不撓，

to support comedians all around the world,

全力協助全球的喜劇演員，

specifically comedians

更特別關愛

with a Middle Eastern background.

有中東血統的喜劇演員。

(Applause)

(掌聲)

Like my good friends, Dean and Maysoon, at the bottom of the screen,

像我的好朋友，狄恩和梅遜，就是螢幕下方那二個，

who, two years after 9/11,

他們在911事件發生二年後，

started a festival to change the way

開始在他們的節目上，

Middle Easterners are perceived in the world.

改變世人對中東人的印象。

It's still going strong, with positive press to die for.

他們還持續這樣做，想為中東人創造正面形象。

Also, three guys working for years in Los Angeles,

同時，有三個在洛杉磯工作多年的喜劇演員，

an Iranian, a Palestinian and an Egyptian,

他們分別是伊朗裔、巴勒斯坦裔和埃及裔美國人，

created the aptly named Axis of Evil comedy act.

創造了邪惡軸心國喜劇聯盟，

And wherever they went,

他們所到之處，

they killed.

都造成風靡。

Now, I didn't start this fire, but I did pour petrol on it.

雖然火不是我點的，但我也有幫忙火上澆油。

I moved to Dubai as the head of original content

我後來搬到杜拜，擔任一家西方電視台的

for a Western TV network.

自製節目總監，

My job was to connect the brand with a Middle Eastern audience.

我的目標是爭取廣大的中東地區觀眾。

Now, the American head of programming

那時，美國來的節目總監

wanted new local Arabic comedy.

要我們製作新的、當地的阿拉伯喜劇，

In a thick Arabic accent, my brain went,

我腦袋裡立刻出現濃重的阿拉伯口音：

"Berfect."

「太胖(棒)了！」

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Now, I had friends in the U.S.

而我在美國的朋友，

who had started a successful new tribe.

剛好組成了一個相當成功的團體，

And I had every intention of taking this tribe

我非常希望能將他們

from being outliers in the Middle East

帶進中東市場，

and pushing them over the tipping point

把他們推向

towards success.

成功的頂峰。

Now, as with any new idea, it wasn't easy.

但要推銷一個好點子，可沒有那麼容易。

I had four phases to this plan.

我那時規劃了四個步驟：

First, we'd need to buy content from the West and air it.

首先，我們先向西方國家買節目來播放，

Then I'd bring my friends, and we'd show local amateurs how it's done.

然後我會邀請我的朋友來表演，讓當地的業餘演員觀摩，

We would film that and air it,

我們會把整個過程錄成節目播放，

and then I could work with the local amateurs and write new comedy.

最後我們就能和那些業餘演員合作，撰寫新的喜劇腳本。

I excitedly presented this to the big boss,

我很興奮地把這個計畫拿給大老闆看，

and his reaction was, "Um, I don't get it."

但他的反應是：「嗯，真搞不懂你們在想什麼！」

So I retreated back to my cave

所以我只好撤退回我的山洞，

and continued to support and produce comedy

繼續製作我的喜劇節目，

and let my friends use my couch

還把我的沙發貢獻出來，

as a regional operations hub.

讓我的朋友把我的沙發當成中東區營運總部。

Now, fast forward two years, to early 2007.

好，先快轉二年到2007年年初，

The earth rotated, as did our management,

整個世界改變了，我的大老闆也換人了。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

and as if by divine intervention,

這一切有如神助，

things came together

所有的事都到位了，

to help this revolution take shape.

讓我們的革命能夠成形，

Here's how the dots connected.

讓我們能成就這番事業。

First, the Axis guys recorded a Comedy Central special

一開始，邪惡軸心國的成員錄製了一個喜劇特輯

that aired in the States,

在美國播放，

and it was getting great hits on YouTube.

在YouTube上造成極大轟動。

Our new French CEO

我們新任的法國總裁

believed in the power of positive PR ...

相信正向的宣傳有其無比的威力...

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

and ideas du bon marche.

好的點子就會有du bon marche(法文)，

Let's just say "value for money."

就是財源會滾滾而來。

I produced in Dubai a show for Ahmed Ahmed

我在杜拜為阿馬德製作了一個節目，

to showcase his new Axis special to a packed room.

為他們的軸心國喜劇製作了一個櫥窗展示，

I invited our new CEO,

然後邀請新任總裁來看，

and as soon as he realized we had a room packed full of laughing infidels,

當他一發現我們有這麼多讓人發笑的好點子後，

his reaction was very simple:

他的反應出奇地簡單：

"Let's make this happen.

「就去做吧！

And one more thing: No, don't F it up."

還有，別搞砸了。」

So I quickly went to work

所以，我馬上回去

with a great team around me.

和那些優秀的團員一起工作，

I happened to find

很巧的是，

a funny guy to present it in Arabic,

我又看到一個在阿拉伯表演的傢伙，

who is originally Korean,

他竟然是韓國人，

a perfect fit for the Axis of Evil.

簡直太適合我們邪惡軸心國了！

This is all true.

這都是真的！

Now, while preparing for the tour,

當我們在準備巡迴演出的時候，

I had to remind the guys to be culturally sensitive.

我提醒團員們要有文化敏感度，

I used the three Bs of stand-up don'ts

也就是在中東地區表演時，

as I call them in the Middle East:

要注意不要提到三個敏感話題：

blue content, keep it clean; beliefs, not religion;

色情的話題不好，要純淨；不要談宗教；

and the third B, bolitics.

不要談論政治，

Stay away from bolitics in the Middle East.

在中東永遠不要談論政治。

Oh course, you might think, what's left

你當然會說，

without bolitics, sex and religion, how can you make people laugh?

除了政治、性和宗教話題外，還有什麼可以讓人發笑？

I'd say, watch any successful well-written,

看看那些在西方國家大受歡迎、

family-friendly sitcom in the West

講述友誼與親情的情境喜劇，

for your answers.

不就是了嗎？

Now, were the Axis successful?

那麼，軸心國成功了嗎？

In five countries, in just under a month,

在不到一個月的時間內，有五個國家、

we had thousands of fanatical fans come and see them live.

數以千計狂熱的粉絲跑來看他們的現場表演，

We had millions see them on TV and on TV news.

有百萬以上的觀眾看過他們的電視節目和新聞報導，

In Jordan, we had His Majesty the King come and see them.

約旦國王還親自來看他們表演。

In fact, they were so successful

他們的表演大獲成功，

that you could buy a pirated copy of their DVD,

他們的節目在中東地區正式播放之前，

even before it was released in the Middle East.

你就可以在市場上買到盜版的DVD了，

Anywhere you go.

不管你在中東哪個國家都一樣。

So everywhere we went,

我們每到一個地方，

we auditioned amateurs.

就為當地的業餘表演者舉辦試演會，

We filmed that process and aired a documentary.

並把整個過程拍下來，剪輯成紀錄片播放，

I called it "Three Guys and Wonho."

片名叫：「三寶與王虎」(Three Guys and Wonho)，

It really is his name.

那真的是他的名字啊...

And all this TV and Internet exposure

這些電視節目和網路上的大量放送，

has led to a great many

為我們帶來

recruits to our cause.

大量的生力軍。

In Dubai this year, we've just had

今年，我們在杜拜，

the first all-women's, homegrown stand-up show.

剛剛成立了第一個本土的女性脫口秀節目，

And notice two of them are wearing headscarves,

其中有二位女性還帶了頭巾，

and yes, even they can laugh.

對，帶了頭巾還是能搞笑。

Dubai, to me, is like a hand

杜拜對我而言，就像一雙助手，

that supports anyone who wants to make things happen.

她能幫助任何人達成願望。

20 years ago,

二十年前，

no one had heard of it.

沒人聽過這個地方，

Look at it now.

看看現在，

With an inspirational leader, I think this year,

在偉大領導的帶領之下，我相信今年

the opening of the tallest tower in the world

世界最高大樓的開幕典禮，

is like adding a finger to that hand,

將為杜拜錦上添花，

that points at all those

並粉碎那些

who spread fallacious stories about us.

有關杜拜的不實報導與傳言。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

(Applause)

(掌聲)

Now, in three short years, we've come a long way

經過了三年之後，我們努力發揚脫口秀

with stand-up comedy shows happening even in Saudi Arabia.

終於有了回報，我們現在也在沙烏地阿拉伯演出了，

These comics are now going to the New York festival.

我們還要進軍紐約佳年華。

And the Lebanese, brilliant Lebanese,

團員裡有個聰明的黎巴嫩人，

Nemr Abou Nassar, we featured in our first tour,

他叫南阿布．納沙，是我們在第一次巡演時招募到的團員，

has just been performing in L.A.'s legendary comedy clubs.

他最近才到洛杉磯的喜劇名人堂裡表演過。

So clearly, from the inside, we are doing our best to change our image,

很明顯地，在我們內部，我們致力於改變中東人的形象，

and it's exploding.

造成了爆炸性的改變。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

So, as for the outsiders looking in,

而從外部的角度來看，

watch the CNN report on the second Amman Comedy Festival.

看看CNN對第二屆安曼喜劇佳年華的報導就知道了，

The reporter did a great job, and I thank her,

那位記者的報導很出色，我很感謝她，

but somebody forgot to send the positive PR email

但有人忘了提醒 撰寫出現在螢幕下方

to the person operating the automatic news ticker that appears at the bottom.

跑馬新聞字幕的人，也要用一些正面報導互相配合。

For example, when Dean talks,

舉例來說，當狄恩在表演的時候，

the ticker says, "U.S.: Suspect gave 'actionable intel."

跑馬字幕突然出現：「美國消息：嫌犯提供可靠情報」

Well, if you're used to listening to comedians,

嗯，如果你習慣「聽」喜劇表演的話，

then I'm not surprised.

就沒什麼問題，

Sadly, this leads me to another three Bs

但是這二個配在一起，就讓我想到

that represents how the media in the West

西方媒體慣常將中東人聯想成：

talks about us as bombers, billionaires

炸彈、百萬富翁、

and belly dancers.

肚皮舞孃。

Enough.

真是夠了！

We're not all angry fanatics

不是所有的中東人都是憤怒的狂熱份子，

who want to kill the infidel.

想要殺光所有的異教徒，

We have a positive story to tell

我們也想講一些正面的故事、

and image to sell.

也想推廣我們正面的形象啊...

In fact, one thing's for sure, in my experience,

而且，以我過去的經驗，我很確定一點，

we love to laugh like hell.

我們都愛笑到要死。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Here are three questions that I like to use

我習慣用一些問題，

to test the truthiness of our representation

來測試媒體上所出現的中東人形象

in any media story.

是否真實：

One: Is the Middle East

第一：這個中東人

being shown in a current time

是否出現在現代？

and correct context?

並穿著正確的服裝？

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Two: Do the Middle Eastern characters

第二：這些中東人

laugh or smile

在笑的時候，

without showing the whites of their eyes?

是不是都能不露出眼白？

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Three: Is the Middle Eastern character

第三：這個中東人角色

being played by one?

是否從頭到尾由同一個人扮演？

Clearly, there are wrongs that need to be righted.

很顯然的，這裡面有許多錯誤必須導正，

We've started in our region.

我們從自己開始做起，

My challenge to the rest of the world

至於其他國家的人，

is please, start using

我只希望他們能以

positive Middle Eastern images in your stories.

正面形象來描述出現在他們故事裡的中東人。

For inspiration, go to one of our festivals,

多給我們一些鼓勵，去看看我們的慶典，

go online, drop us a line.

上網看看，這樣就能幫助我們。

Let's change the narrative together

讓我們一起改變現況，

and let's start righting writing wrongs.

一起來糾正故事裡的錯誤。

I'd like to end, before going back to the Middle East,

在我回去中東之前，

with a quote from one of the greatest Sheikhs

我想用一位偉大長老用鵝毛筆

to put quill to parchment.

寫在羊皮紙上的話來做總結，

As my father likes to call him, "Asheikh Azubare;"

我父親稱這位長老為「阿祖巴長老」，

as my mother would say, "Shakespeare."

我母親則稱他為「莎士比亞」。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

"And now we go in content

「我們所追求的，

to liberty and not to banishment."

是自由，而非放逐。」

Thank you.

謝謝各位。

(Applause)

(掌聲)