How fashion helps us express who we are -- and what we stand for | Kaustav Dey

譯者: Lilian Chiu 審譯者: Peipei Xiang

I was around 10 when one day,

我大約十歲時，有一天，

I discovered a box of my father's old things.

我發現了一個盒子， 裡面有我爸爸的舊東西。

In it, under a bunch of his college textbooks,

盒子裡，在一堆他的 大學教科書底下，

was a pair of black corduroy bell-bottom pants.

有一件黑色燈芯絨的喇叭褲。

These pants were awful --

這褲子糟透了──

musty and moth-eaten.

發霉且還長了蛀蟲。

And of course, I fell in love with them.

當然，我愛上了它。

I'd never seen anything like them.

我從來沒看過這樣的東西。

Until that day,

在那天之前，

all I'd ever known and worn was my school uniform,

我所知道、所穿過的， 都是我的學校制服。

which, in fact, I was pretty grateful for,

事實上，我對制服 是抱持感恩態度的，

because from quite a young age,

因為，很小的時候，

I'd realized I was somewhat different.

我就知道我和別人有某些不同之處。

I'd never been one of the boys my age;

我從來不像我那個年齡的男孩；

terrible at sports,

我的體育很糟，

possibly the unmanliest little boy ever.

可能是史上最無男子漢氣概的男孩。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I was bullied quite a bit.

我蠻常被霸凌。

And so, I figured that to survive I would be invisible,

所以我知道，如果 想要生存，我就得隱形，

and the uniform helped me

而制服幫了我大忙，

to seem no different from any other child.

讓我看起來和其他孩子沒有什麼不同。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Well, almost.

嗯，是幾乎沒有什麼不同。

This became my daily prayer:

我每日的禱告便是：

"God, please make me just like everybody else."

「主啊，請讓我和其他人一樣。」

不過，這禱告大概直接 進到了上帝的語音信箱。

I think this went straight to God's voicemail, though.

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And eventually, it became pretty clear

最終，非常顯然

that I was not growing up to be the son that my father always wanted.

我長大後不會成為 我爸爸希望的樣子。

Sorry, Dad.

抱歉，老爹。

No, I was not going to magically change.

不，我不會神奇地突然改變。

And over time, I grew less and less sure that I actually wanted to.

但隨時間過去，我也 越來越不確定我真想要改變。

Therefore, the day those black corduroy bell-bottom pants came into my life,

因此，那件黑色燈芯絨的喇叭褲 出現在我人生中的那一天，

something happened.

奇妙的事情發生了。

I didn't see pants;

我看到的不是褲子；

I saw opportunity.

我看到的是機會。

The very next day, I had to wear them to school,

隔天，我非得要穿這條褲子上學，

come what may.

不管會發生什麼。

And once I pulled on those god-awful pants and belted them tight,

當我穿上了那條 非常可怕的褲子並把它扣緊時，

almost instantly, I developed what can only be called a swagger.

我幾乎是立刻就大搖大擺起來。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

All the way to school,

到學校的一路上，

and then all the way back because I was sent home at once --

以及回家的一路上， 因為我馬上就被趕回了家──

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I transformed into a little brown rock star.

我變身成為了一個 黝黑的小搖滾明星。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I finally didn't care anymore that I could not conform.

我終於不再在乎我無法跟大家一樣。

That day, I was suddenly celebrating it.

那天，我突然在慶祝我的與眾不同。

That day, instead of being invisible,

那天，我不再隱形，

I chose to be looked at,

我選擇被大家看到，

just by wearing something different.

只因為我不同的穿著。

That day, I discovered the power of what we wear.

那天，我發現了穿著的力量。

That day, I discovered the power of fashion,

那天，我發現了時尚的力量，

and I've been in love with it ever since.

我從此就愛上了它。

Fashion can communicate our differences to the world for us.

時尚使我們能夠 向世界表達我們的差異。

And with this simple act of truth,

透過這樣一個簡單的真誠之舉，

I realized that these differences --

我了解到，這些差異──

they stopped being our shame.

我們不用再為它們感到羞恥。

They became our expressions,

它們變成了我們的表達方式，

expressions of our very unique identities.

他們表達了我們非常獨特的身份。

And we should express ourselves,

我們應該表達自己，

wear what we want.

穿我們想穿的。

What's the worst that could happen?

最糟的狀況會如何呢？

The fashion police are going to get you for being so last season?

難道會有時尚警察因為你 穿得太「過季」而來抓你嗎？

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Yeah.

是啊，

Well, unless the fashion police meant something entirely different.

當然除非時尚警察 有完全不同的意思。

Nobel Prize laureate Malala survived Taliban extremists

諾貝爾獎得主馬拉拉 逃過了塔利班極端份子

在 2012 年 10 月下的毒手。

in October 2012.

However, in October 2017, she faced a different enemy,

然而，在 2017 年 10 月， 她面臨了不同的敵人，

when online trolls viciously attacked the photograph

網路酸民惡毒地攻擊一張照片，

that showed the 20-year-old wearing jeans that day.

照片中這位二十歲女子 在那天穿著牛仔褲。

The comments,

她收到的評論和仇恨，

the hatred she received,

從「何時頭巾也要脫下來了？」

ranged from "How long before the scarf comes off?"

to, and I quote,

到，這是直接引述，

"That's the reason the bullet directly targeted her head

「這就是為什麼之前

子彈會直接瞄準她的頭。」 （註：她頭部中彈但活下來了）

a long time ago."

Now, when most of us decide to wear a pair of jeans

當我們大部分人決定要穿牛仔褲時，

someplace like New York, London, Milan, Paris,

在像紐約、倫敦、 米蘭、巴黎這類地方，

we possibly don't stop to think that it's a privilege;

我們可能不會認為這是一項特權；

something that somewhere else can have consequences,

無法想像在其他地方這是會有後果的，

something that can one day be taken away from us.

是一項有一天可能會被剝奪的權利。

My grandmother was a woman who took extraordinary pleasure

我的祖母，是個非常 會享受打扮的女人。

in dressing up.

Her fashion was colorful.

她的時尚色彩鮮艷。

And the color she loved to wear so much was possibly the only thing

而她非常喜歡穿在身上的顏色，

可能是唯一她能為自己做的事，

that was truly about her,

the one thing she had agency over,

她唯一能掌控的事，

because like most other women of her generation in India,

因為在印度，她與她那個世代的 大部分女性一樣，

she'd never been allowed to exist

從來不被允許存在於

beyond what was dictated by custom and tradition.

規定的習俗和傳統以外。

She'd been married at 17,

她在十七歲時結婚，

and after 65 years of marriage, when my grandfather died suddenly one day,

婚姻持續了六十五年， 直到我祖父有一天突然過世，

her loss was unbearable.

她的損失是無法承受的。

But that day, she was going to lose something else as well,

但那天，她同時還失去了

the one joy she had:

她唯一的喜悅：

to wear color.

把顏色穿在身上。

In India, according to custom,

在印度，根據習俗，

when a Hindu woman becomes a widow,

當印度教女子成為寡婦時，

all she's allowed to wear is white

她只能穿白色，

from the day of the death of her husband.

從她的丈夫過世那天起都是如此。

No one made my grandmother wear white.

沒有人要求我祖母穿白色。

However, every woman she'd known who had outlived her husband,

然而，她認識的 每一個失去了丈夫的女人，

including her mother,

包括她母親，

had done it.

都會穿白色。

This oppression was so internalized,

這種壓迫感如此深入人心、

so deep-rooted,

如此根深蒂固，

that she herself refused a choice.

讓她自己拒絕了選擇。

She passed away this year,

她今年過世了，

and until the day she died,

到她辭世之前，

she continued to wear only white.

她都一直只穿白色。

I have a photograph with her from earlier, happier times.

我有張和她的合照， 是早期她較快樂的時候拍的。

In it, you can't really see what she's wearing --

你看不太出來照片中她穿什麼顏色──

the photo is in black and white.

這是張黑白照片。

However, from the way she's smiling in it,

然而，從她在照片中的笑容，

you just know she's wearing color.

你就能知道她的衣服是彩色的。

This is also what fashion can do.

這也是時尚的功能之一。

It has the power to fill us with joy,

它有種力量，能讓我們充滿喜悅，

the joy of freedom to choose for ourselves how we want to look,

這種喜悅是來自於有 能選擇自己想要的外觀、

how we want to live --

自己想要的生活的自由──

a freedom worth fighting for.

這是值得我們去爭取的自由。

And fighting for freedom, protest, comes in many forms.

而爭取自由、抗議， 有許多不同的形式。

Widows in India like my grandmother, thousands of them,

印度有數以千計的寡婦， 我祖母是其一，

live in a city called Vrindavan.

住在叫做沃林達文的城市。

And so, it's been a sea of white for centuries.

數世紀來，那裡就像一片白色海洋。

However, only as recently as 2013,

然而，直到 2013 年，

the widows of Vrindavan have started to celebrate Holi,

沃林達文的寡婦才開始慶祝灑紅節，

the Indian festival of color,

它是印度的顏色節慶，

which they are prohibited from participating in.

過去寡婦被禁止參加這個節慶。

On this one day in March,

在三月的某一天，

these women take the traditional colored powder of the festival

這些女性拿著這節慶傳統 所使用的彩色粉末，

and color each other.

為彼此上色。

With every handful of the powder they throw into the air,

她們每向空中灑出一把粉末，

their white saris slowly start to suffuse with color.

她們的白色紗麗（傳統服飾） 便慢慢地沾上了顏色。

And they don't stop until they're completely covered

一直到完全沾滿了 彩虹的每一道色彩──

in every hue of the rainbow that's forbidden to them.

那些她們平時無法碰觸的色彩， 她們才肯停止。

The color washes off the next day,

隔天那些顏色就洗掉了，

however, for that moment in time,

然而，那個時刻

it's their beautiful disruption.

是屬於她們的美麗的顛覆性時刻。

This disruption,

這種顛覆，

any kind of dissonance,

任何一種不和諧，

can be the first gauntlet we throw down in a battle against oppression.

都可以是我們的第一波攻勢， 引領我們對抗壓迫的抗戰。

And fashion --

而時尚──

it can create visual disruption for us --

它能為我們呈現視覺顛覆──

on us, literally.

就在我們身上呈現。

Lessons of defiance have always been taught

反抗的教訓

向來是由時尚的偉大革命家教導的：

by fashion's great revolutionaries:

its designers.

時尚設計師。

Jean Paul Gaultier taught us that women can be kings.

尚·保羅·高緹耶教導我們， 女人也可以當國王。

Thom Browne --

托姆·布朗恩──

he taught us that men can wear heels.

他教導我們，男人也可以穿高跟鞋。

And Alexander McQueen, in his spring 1999 show,

亞歷山大·麥昆，在他 1999 年春天的時裝秀中，

had two giant robotic arms in the middle of his runway.

在他的伸展台兩側裝了 兩隻巨大的機械手臂。

And as the model, Shalom Harlow began to spin in between them,

模特兒莎琳·夏露開始 在兩隻手臂之間轉圈，

these two giant arms --

這兩隻巨大的手臂──

furtively at first and then furiously,

一開始是偷偷地，接著是猛烈地

began to spray color onto her.

開始對她噴灑顏色。

McQueen, thus,

因此，麥昆，

before he took his own life,

在他自殺之前，

taught us that this body of ours is a canvas,

教導我們，我們自己的 身體就是畫布，

a canvas we get to paint however we want.

我們可以依自己的喜好在上面揮灑。

Somebody who loved this world of fashion

有個人很喜愛這個時尚世界，

was Karar Nushi.

他就是卡拉·努希。

He was a student and actor from Iraq.

他是來自伊拉克的學生兼演員。

He loved his vibrant, eclectic clothes.

他很愛他那些明亮、不拘一格的衣服。

However, he soon started receiving death threats for how he looked.

然而，他很快就開始因為 他的外觀而收到死亡威脅。

He remained unfazed.

但是他不為所動，

He remained fabulous,

他仍然保持光鮮亮麗。

until July 2017,

直到 2017 年 7 月，

when Karar was discovered dead on a busy street in Baghdad.

卡拉被發現陳屍在 巴格達的熱鬧街頭。

He'd been kidnapped.

他被綁架了。

He'd been tortured.

他遭受了虐待。

And eyewitnesses say that his body showed multiple wounds.

目擊證人說，他的身體有多個傷口，

Stab wounds.

刺傷的傷口。

Two thousand miles away in Peshawar,

在兩千英哩外的白沙瓦，

Pakistani transgender activist Alisha was shot multiple times in May 2016.

巴基斯坦變性激進份子阿莉莎 在 2016 年 5 月身中數槍。

She was taken to the hospital,

她被送到醫院，

but because she dressed in women's clothing,

但因為她穿著女性服裝，

she was refused access to either the men's or the women's wards.

醫院拒絕給她使用男病房或女病房。

What we choose to wear can sometimes be literally life and death.

我們選擇的穿著有時真的攸關生死。

And even in death, we sometimes don't get to choose.

有時甚至即使是死了， 我們也無法選擇穿著。

Alisha died that day

阿莉莎那天過世了，

and then was buried as a man.

她被當作男人埋葬。

What kind of world is this?

這是個什麼樣的世界？

Well, it's one in which it's natural to be afraid,

在這個世界裡，害怕是很自然的，

to be frightened of this surveillance,

懼怕這種監視，

this violence against our bodies and what we wear on them.

這種衝著我們的身體、 我們的穿著而來的暴力。

However, the greater fear is that once we surrender,

然而，更大的恐懼卻是， 一旦我們投降了，

blend in

融入了，

and begin to disappear one after the other,

開始一個接著一個消失了，

the more normal this false conformity will look,

這虛假的順從看起來越正常，

the less shocking this oppression will feel.

這種壓迫的震撼感就會越低。

For the children we are raising,

對於我們正在養育的孩子們，

the injustice of today could become the ordinary of tomorrow.

現今的不公正可能會變成明天的常態。

They'll get used to this,

他們會習慣這樣，

and they, too, might begin to see anything different as dirty,

他們也會開始把與他們 不同的差異視為是骯髒的，

something to be hated,

應該要被仇視的，

something to be extinguished,

應該要趕盡殺絕的，

like lights to be put out,

就像是要被滅掉的光，

one by one,

一盞接著一盞，

until darkness becomes a way of life.

直到完全被黑暗包圍。

However, if I today,

然而，如果今天是由我開始，

then you tomorrow,

明天是你們接續下去，

maybe even more of us someday,

有一天可能會有更多的人，

if we embrace our right to look like ourselves,

如果我們能擁抱我們 在外觀上忠於自我的權利，

then in the world that's been violently whitewashed,

那麼在這個被無情粉飾的世界上，

we will become the pinpricks of color pushing through,

我們就會變成讓顏色奪勢而出的針孔，

much like those widows of Vrindavan.

就像那些沃林達文的寡婦一樣。

How then, with so many of us,

等我們的人數越來越多的時候，

will the crosshairs of a gun

槍的十字瞄準線

be able to pick out Karar,

怎麼能分辨出誰是卡拉、

Malala,

馬拉拉、

Alisha?

阿莉莎？

Can they kill us all?

他們能把我們殺光嗎？

The time is now to stand up,

現在該是我們站起來、 站出來的時候了。

to stand out.

Where sameness is safeness,

在一個「相同」 等於「安全」的世界裡，

with something as simple as what we wear,

我們用很簡單的東西， 比如我們的穿著，

we can draw every eye to ourselves

就能夠把目光吸引到我們身上，

to say that there are differences in this world, and there always will be.

讓大家知道，世界上有差異存在， 且永遠都會有。

Get used to it.

習慣它吧！

And this we can say without a single word.

這是我們可以不用開口 就能說出來的訊息。

Fashion can give us a language for dissent.

時尚能給我們一種表示異議的語言。

It can give us courage.

它能給我們勇氣，

Fashion can let us literally wear our courage on our sleeves.

時尚能讓我們自由地 把我們的勇氣穿在身上。

So wear it.

那就穿上去吧，

Wear it like armor.

像盔甲一樣穿上去。

Wear it because it matters.

把它穿上去，因為它很重要，

And wear it because you matter.

把它穿上去，因為你很重要。

Thank you.

謝謝。

(Applause)

（掌聲）