What I learned serving time for a crime I didn't commit | Teresa Njoroge

翻译人员: candice lu 校对人员: 心 郝！

When I heard those bars

当我听到那些铁栅栏

slam hard,

重重地关上的时候，

I knew it was for real.

我知道这不是做梦。

I feel confused.

我感到迷茫。

I feel betrayed.

我感到被背叛了。

I feel overwhelmed.

我感到喘不过气。

I feel silenced.

我感觉被禁言了。

What just happened?

刚才发生了什么？

How could they send me here?

他们怎么会把我送到这里？

I don't belong here.

我根本不属于这里啊。

How could they make such a huge mistake

他们怎么能犯下如此大的错误，

without any repercussions whatsoever to their actions?

却不用为自己的 行为付出任何代价？

I see large groups of women

我看到许多女性，

in tattered uniforms

她们身着破烂的制服，

surrounded by huge walls and gates,

被关在高墙大门之内，

enclosed by iron barbed wires,

受困在铁刺围栏之中，

and I get hit by an awful stench,

然后我被一阵恶臭惊醒，

and I ask myself,

我问自己，

how did I move

我究竟是如何

from working in the respected financial banking sector,

从从事着一份体面的 金融银行业工作，

having worked so hard in school,

曾经在学校中用功读书，

to now being locked up

转变到如今身陷囹圄，

in the largest correctional facility

不得不呆在这个肯尼亚最大的

for women in Kenya?

女子监狱的？

My first night

我在兰加塔

at Langata Women Maximum Security Prison

女子最高安全级别监狱 度过的第一个夜晚

was the toughest.

是最难熬的。

In January of 2009,

2009年的1月，

I was informed that I had handled a fraudulent transaction unknowingly

我被告知我在银行 工作的时候无意中经手了

at the bank where I worked.

一笔诈骗交易。

I was shocked, scared and terrified.

我当时感到十分震惊、 害怕并且恐惧。

I would lose a career that I loved passionately.

我会因此而失去十分热爱的事业。

But that was not the worst.

但那还不是最糟糕的。

It got even worse than I could have ever imagined.

事情远比我想象的更糟。

I got arrested,

我被逮捕了，

maliciously charged

受到了恶意的指控

and prosecuted.

和起诉。

The absurdity of it all was the arresting officer

最荒唐的是那个逮捕我的警官，

asking me to pay him 10,000 US dollars

居然要求我支付给他一万美金，

and the case would disappear.

他们就可以撤诉。

I refused.

我拒绝了。

Two and a half years on,

于是在接下来的两年半时间，

in and out of courts,

我不停地进出法庭，

fighting to prove my innocence.

竭尽全力想要证明我的清白。

It was all over the media,

这件事在媒体上被广泛报道，

in the newspapers, TV, radio.

报纸、电视、广播。

They came to me again.

他们再一次找到了我。

This time around, said to me,

这次他们说的是，

"If you give us 50,000 US dollars,

“如果你给我们5万美金，

the judgement will be in your favor,"

最终的审判将会站在你这边。”

irrespective of the fact that there was no evidence whatsoever

他们完全不顾这样一个事实， 那就是他们根本没有证据

that I had any wrongdoing

证明我做错了什么，

on the charges that I was up against.

针对我的指控根本不成立。

I remember the events

我记得

of my conviction

六年前，

six years ago

我的审判结果

as if it were yesterday.

就如发生在昨日一般。

The cold, hard face of the judge

在一个寒冷的星期四上午，

as she pronounced my sentence

当法官针对我从未犯过的罪名

on a cold Thursday morning

宣布我被判有罪的时候，

for a crime that I hadn't committed.

我看到了她冰冷残酷的脸庞。

I remember holding

我记得当我抱着

my three-month-old beautiful daughter

我三个月大的漂亮的女儿，

whom I had just named Oma,

我刚给她起名Oma，

which in my dialect means "truth and justice,"

这个名字在我们方言中的 意思是“真相和正义”，

as that was what I had longed so much for

因为那是我长久以来一直渴望的

all this time.

东西啊。

I dressed her in her favorite purple dress,

我给她穿上她最爱的紫色裙子，

and here she was, about to accompany me

她将陪伴我在监狱里

to serve this one-year sentence

在监狱里忍受这一年的

behind bars.

冤刑。

The guards did not seem sensitive to the trauma

那些狱警对我所遭受的 痛苦丝毫不在意，

that this experience was causing me.

他们不知道这段经历 使我失去了什么。

My dignity and humanity disappeared

我的尊严和人性随着

with the admission process.

入狱的程序一并消失了。

It involved me being searched for contrabands,

我被搜身检查有没有携带违禁品，

changed from my ordinary clothes

脱下了我平常的服装，

换上了囚服，

to the prison uniform,

forced to squat on the ground,

还被要求蹲在地上，

a posture that I soon came to learn

后来我意识到

would form the routine

这个动作

of the thousands of searches,

将是日后我将面对的数千次搜身，

number counts,

报数时候的

that lay ahead of me.

常规动作。

The women told me,

有位女士对我说，

"You'll adjust to this place.

“你会适应这个地方的，

You'll fit right in."

你会融入进去的。”

I was no longer referred to as Teresa Njoroge.

没有人再叫我特雷莎 · 恩乔罗格，

The number 415/11 was my new identity,

编号415/11 成为了我新的身份，

and I soon learned that was the case with the other women

我很快意识到这里的其他女性

who we were sharing this space with.

都面临着同样的境遇。

And adjust I did to life on the inside:

我确实适应了里面的生活：

the prison food,

监狱里的食物，

the prison language,

监狱里的语言，

the prison life.

监狱里的生活。

Prison is certainly no fairytale world.

监狱当然不是童话世界。

What I didn't see come my way

然而我没有意识到的是，

was the women and children

与我们一同服刑的

whom we served time and shared space with,

妇女和小孩，

women who had been imprisoned

那些为了这个体系的罪恶

for crimes of the system,

在服刑的女人们，

the corruption that requires a fall guy,

成了那些腐败行为的

a scapegoat,

替罪羊，

so that the person who is responsible

这样才能让那些真正的罪犯

could go free,

逍遥法外，

a broken system that routinely vilifies the vulnerable,

这个腐败的体系时常 污蔑我们当中

the poorest amongst us,

弱势的、贫穷的人们，

people who cannot afford to pay bail

因为他们没有能力支付保释金

or bribes.

或者是贿赂金。

And so we moved on.

所以我们只能接受现实。

As I listened to story after story

在监狱服刑的一年中， 在听了差不多

of these close to 700 women

700个女人的

during that one year in prison,

相似的故事之后，

I soon realized that crime

我知道那些罪行不是将

was not what had brought these women to prison,

这些女人送进监狱的罪魁祸首，

most of them,

事实上，她们中的大多数

far from it.

都背着莫须有的罪名。

It had started with the education system,

这一切要从教育系统说起，

whose supply and quality is not equal for all;

教育资源及质量并不是 对所有人都公平的；

lack of economic opportunities

由于缺乏赚钱的机会，

that pushes these women to petty survival crimes;

女性往往被迫为了生存 去做一些小偷小摸的事情；

the health system,

还有医疗系统，

social justice system,

社会司法体系，

the criminal justice system.

刑事司法制度 （也都脱不了干系）。

If any of these women,

这些女人

who were mostly from poor backgrounds,

大都来自贫困的家庭，

fall through the cracks

如果她们不幸被这腐败的

系统盯上了，

in the already broken system,

the bottom of that chasm is a prison,

迎接她们的深渊就是监狱，

period.

这就是事实。

By the time I completed my one-year sentence

当我在兰加塔女子 最高安全级别监狱

at Langata Women Maximum Prison,

服刑一年之后，

I had a burning conviction

我的心中产生了一个坚定的信念，

to be part of the transformation

而这个信念也成为了后来

to resolve the injustices

改变这些不公正现象的 变革中的一部分。

that I had witnessed

我目睹了

of women and girls

妇女和年轻女孩们

who were caught up in a revolving door

被关在这个旋转门后，

of a life in and out of prison

进出监狱就成了 她们生活中的全部，

due to poverty.

这一切都源于贫穷。

After my release,

在我刑满释放之后，

I set up Clean Start.

我成立了Clean Start。

Clean Start is a social enterprise

Clean Start 是一家社会企业，

that seeks to give these women and girls

旨在为这些妇女和年轻女性

a second chance.

提供第二次机会。

What we do is we build bridges for them.

我们所做的就是为她们提供桥梁。

We go into the prisons, train them,

我们去监狱给她们提供培训，

give them skills, tools and support

教会她们技能， 为她们提供工作和支持，

to enable them to be able to change their mindsets,

希望借此改变她们的思维方式，

their behaviors and their attitudes.

改变她们的行为和态度。

We also build bridges into the prisons

同时，我们也为

from the corporate sector --

将会成为Clean Start的 合作伙伴的

individuals, organizations

企业、个人和组织

提供与监狱联系的机会，

that will partner with Clean Start

to enable us to provide employment,

并合作提供就业机会，

places to call home,

居住的地方，

jobs, vocational training,

工作和职业培训

for these women, girls,

让那些妇女、女孩，

boys and men,

男孩和成年男子们

upon transition back into society.

能够成功适应重回社会的过程。

I never thought

我从未想过

that one day

有一天，

I would be giving stories

我将会为人们讲述

of the injustices that are so common

那些刑事司法制度之内

within the criminal justice system,

如此常见的不公正的现象，

but here I am.

但是我做到了。

Every time I go back to prison,

每次回到监狱的时候，

I feel a little at home,

我竟然感觉像是回家了，

but it is the daunting work

但这是一份令人生畏的工作，

to achieve the vision

想达成那个愿景的强烈希望

that keeps me awake at night,

几乎让我每天都夜不能寐。

connecting the miles to Louisiana,

想想远在千里之外的 路易斯安那州，

which is deemed as the incarceration capital of the world,

那个被视为世界监禁之都的地方，

carrying with me stories

我背负着

of hundreds of women

我在监狱中遇见的

whom I have met within the prisons,

数百位女性的过去，

some of whom are now embracing their second chances,

她们中的一些人现在正在 拥抱人生中的第二次机会，

and others who are still on that bridge of life's journey.

另一些至今还处于桥梁的另一端， 经历她们人生的那一段故事。

I embody a line

在这里我引用下

from the great Maya Angelou.

著名诗人Maya Angelou的一段诗。

"I come as one,

“我只身前来，

but I stand as 10,000."

却有千千万万的人与我并肩。”

(Applause)

（掌声）

For my story is singular,

我的故事或许是个例，

but imagine with me

但是请跟我一起想一想

the millions of people

如今在监狱中的

in prisons today,

数百万的人们，

yearning for freedom.

他们渴望自由。

Three years post my conviction

在我被定罪的三年后，

and two years post my release,

被释放的两年后，

I got cleared by the courts of appeal

地区法院终于还给了我清白，

of any wrongdoing.

洗去了我的罪名。

(Applause)

（掌声）

Around the same time,

大约在同一时间，

I got blessed with my son,

我有了一个儿子，

whom I named Uhuru,

我给他起名Uhuru，

which in my dialect means "freedom."

Uhuru在我们的 方言中意味着“自由”。

(Applause)

(掌声)

Because I had finally gotten the freedom

因为我最终获得了自由，

that I so longed for.

我梦寐以求的自由，

I come as one,

我只身前来，

but I stand as 10,000,

却代表着千千万万的人们，

encouraged by the hard-edged hope

怀着坚定的信念，

that thousands of us have come together

千千万万的我们能够团结起来，

to reform and transform the criminal justice system,

一起改变这个犯罪司法系统，

encouraged that we are doing our jobs

坚信我们在履行自己的天职，

as we are meant to do them.

因为我们注定要做这些事。

And let us keep doing them

那就让我们继续做下去，

with no apology.

无需感到歉疚。

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause)

（掌声）