What I learned serving time for a crime I didn't commit | Teresa Njoroge

Prevoditelj: Biljana Ježik Recezent: Anja Kolobarić

When I heard those bars

Kada sam čula kako su rešetke

slam hard,

glasno zalupile,

I knew it was for real.

znala sam da se to stvarno događa.

I feel confused.

Osjećala sam se zbunjeno.

I feel betrayed.

Osjećala sam se izdano.

I feel overwhelmed.

Preplavile su me emocije.

I feel silenced.

Osjećala sam se ušutkano.

What just happened?

Što se upravo dogodilo?

How could they send me here?

Kako su me mogli poslati ovamo?

I don't belong here.

Ne pripadam ovdje.

How could they make such a huge mistake

Kako su mogli napraviti tako veliku pogrješku,

without any repercussions whatsoever to their actions?

bez ikakvih posljedica za njihova djela?

I see large groups of women

Vidim velike grupe žena

in tattered uniforms

u otrcanim odorama

surrounded by huge walls and gates,

okružene visokim zidovima i vratima,

enclosed by iron barbed wires,

ograđene željeznim bodljikavim žicama

and I get hit by an awful stench,

i preplavi me užasan smrad

and I ask myself,

i zapitam se

how did I move

kako sam došla

from working in the respected financial banking sector,

od posla u uglednom bankarskom sektoru za financije,

having worked so hard in school,

uporno se trudeći u školi,

to now being locked up

do toga da me sada zatvore

in the largest correctional facility

u najveću kazneno-popravnu ustanovu

for women in Kenya?

za žene u Keniji?

My first night

Moja prva noć

at Langata Women Maximum Security Prison

u najstrožem ženskom zatvoru Langata

was the toughest.

bila je najteža.

In January of 2009,

U siječnju 2009.,

I was informed that I had handled a fraudulent transaction unknowingly

obavijestili su me da sam nesvjesno obradila lažnu transakciju

at the bank where I worked.

u banci u kojoj sam radila.

I was shocked, scared and terrified.

Bila sam šokirana, uplašena i užasnuta.

I would lose a career that I loved passionately.

Izgubila bih karijeru koju sam jako voljela.

But that was not the worst.

Ali to nije bilo najgore.

It got even worse than I could have ever imagined.

Dogodilo se nešto puno gore nego što sam mogla zamisliti.

I got arrested,

Uhitili su me,

maliciously charged

zlonamjerno okrivili

and prosecuted.

i optužili.

The absurdity of it all was the arresting officer

Apsurdnost svega bila je kada me službenik za uhićenje

asking me to pay him 10,000 US dollars

pitao da mu platim 10,000 američkih dolara

and the case would disappear.

i slučaj će nestati.

I refused.

Odbila sam.

Two and a half years on,

Nakon dvije i pol godine,

in and out of courts,

bila sam na brojnim sudskim postupcima

fighting to prove my innocence.

boreći se da dokažem svoju nevinost.

It was all over the media,

Bilo je posvuda u medijima,

in the newspapers, TV, radio.

u novinama, na televiziji, na radiju.

They came to me again.

Opet su me potražili.

This time around, said to me,

Ovoga puta, rekli su mi:

"If you give us 50,000 US dollars,

"Ako nam platiš 50,000 američkih dolara,

the judgement will be in your favor,"

presudit ćemo u tvoju korist",

irrespective of the fact that there was no evidence whatsoever

bez obzira na činjenicu što nisu postojali nikakvi dokazi

that I had any wrongdoing

da sam počinila prijestup

on the charges that I was up against.

za koji su me optužili.

I remember the events

Sjećam se

of my conviction

donošenja moje presude

six years ago

otprije šest godina

as if it were yesterday.

kao da je bilo jučer.

The cold, hard face of the judge

Hladno, čvrsto lice sutkinje

as she pronounced my sentence

dok je izgovarala moju presudu

on a cold Thursday morning

u hladno jutro jednog četvrtka

for a crime that I hadn't committed.

za zločin koji nisam počinila.

I remember holding

Sjećam se da sam držala

my three-month-old beautiful daughter

svoju lijepu tromjesečnu kći

whom I had just named Oma,

koju sam upravo nazvala Oma,

which in my dialect means "truth and justice,"

što u mojem jeziku znači "istina i pravda",

as that was what I had longed so much for

jer sam za time toliko čeznula

all this time.

cijelo to vrijeme.

I dressed her in her favorite purple dress,

Obučena u njezinu najdražu ljubičastu haljinu,

and here she was, about to accompany me

bila je tamo, spremna me ispratiti

to serve this one-year sentence

kako bih odslužila jednogodišnju kaznu

behind bars.

iza rešetki.

The guards did not seem sensitive to the trauma

Čuvari očito nisu marili za traumu

that this experience was causing me.

koju mi je izazvalo to iskustvo.

My dignity and humanity disappeared

Moja dostojanstvenost i humanost nestali su

with the admission process.

u procesu prijema.

It involved me being searched for contrabands,

Pretraživali su me radi krijumčarenja,

changed from my ordinary clothes

presvukli me iz uobičajene odjeće

to the prison uniform,

u zatvorsku odoru,

forced to squat on the ground,

prisilili me čučati na podu,

a posture that I soon came to learn

u položaju za koji sam ubrzo shvatila

would form the routine

da će postati rutina

of the thousands of searches,

za tisuće pregledavanja,

number counts,

prebrojavanja,

that lay ahead of me.

koja su me čekala.

The women told me,

Žene su mi rekle:

"You'll adjust to this place.

"Prilagodit ćeš se ovome mjestu.

You'll fit right in."

Uklopit ćeš se."

I was no longer referred to as Teresa Njoroge.

Više mi se nisu obraćali imenom Teresa Njoroge.

The number 415/11 was my new identity,

Broj 415/11 bio je moj novi identitet

and I soon learned that was the case with the other women

i uskoro sam shvatila da su se jednako odnosili i prema drugim ženama

who we were sharing this space with.

s kojima sam dijelila prostor.

And adjust I did to life on the inside:

I prilagodila sam se životu zatvora:

the prison food,

zatvorskoj hrani,

the prison language,

zatvorskom jeziku,

the prison life.

zatvoreničkom životu.

Prison is certainly no fairytale world.

Zatvor zasigurno nije svijet iz bajki.

What I didn't see come my way

Ono što nisam očekivala

was the women and children

bile su žene i djeca

whom we served time and shared space with,

s kojima sam služila kaznu i dijelila prostor,

women who had been imprisoned

žene koje su zatvorene

for crimes of the system,

zbog kriminala u sustavu,

the corruption that requires a fall guy,

zbog korupcije koja zahtjeva dežurnog krivca,

a scapegoat,

žrtveno janje,

so that the person who is responsible

tako da osoba koja je odgovorna

could go free,

bude na slobodi,

a broken system that routinely vilifies the vulnerable,

iskvareni sustav koji rutinski zlostavlja ranjive,

the poorest amongst us,

najsiromašnije među nama,

people who cannot afford to pay bail

ljude koji ne mogu platiti jamčevinu

or bribes.

ili mito.

And so we moved on.

I tako smo nastavili.

As I listened to story after story

Slušajući priču za pričom

of these close to 700 women

od otprilike 700 žena

during that one year in prison,

tijekom te godine u zatvoru,

I soon realized that crime

uskoro sam shvatila da zločin

was not what had brought these women to prison,

nije to što je dovelo te žene u zatvor,

most of them,

za većinu njih,

far from it.

bilo je to nešto sasvim drugo.

It had started with the education system,

Započelo je s obrazovnim sustavom,

whose supply and quality is not equal for all;

čija ponuda i kvaliteta nije jednaka za sve;

lack of economic opportunities

nedostatne ekonomske prilike

that pushes these women to petty survival crimes;

koje tjeraju te žene na sitne zločine za preživljavanje;

the health system,

zdravstveni sustav,

social justice system,

sustav socijalne pravde,

the criminal justice system.

sustav kaznenog pravosuđa.

If any of these women,

Ako jedna od tih žena,

who were mostly from poor backgrounds,

koje dolaze većinom iz siromašnih sredina,

fall through the cracks

padne kroz pukotine

in the already broken system,

već iskvarenog sustava,

the bottom of that chasm is a prison,

pada na dno ponora - u zatvor,

period.

točka.

By the time I completed my one-year sentence

Do trenutka kada sam odslužila jednogodišnju kaznu

at Langata Women Maximum Prison,

u najstrožem ženskom zatvoru Langata,

I had a burning conviction

imala sam goruću želju

to be part of the transformation

biti dio transformacije

to resolve the injustices

za rješavanje nepravdi

that I had witnessed

kojima sam svjedočila

of women and girls

o ženama i djevojkama

who were caught up in a revolving door

koje su zaglavile

of a life in and out of prison

u životu po zatvorima

due to poverty.

zbog siromaštva.

After my release,

Nakon mog otpuštanja,

I set up Clean Start.

pokrenula sam Clean Start.

Clean Start is a social enterprise

Clean Start je društveno poduzeće

that seeks to give these women and girls

koje želi pružiti tim ženama i djevojkama

a second chance.

drugu priliku.

What we do is we build bridges for them.

Naš je posao povezivati ih.

We go into the prisons, train them,

Idemo u zatvore, obučavamo ih,

give them skills, tools and support

dajemo im vještine, pomagala i podršku

to enable them to be able to change their mindsets,

kako bismo im omogućili promjenu načina u razmišljanju,

their behaviors and their attitudes.

ponašanju i stavovima.

We also build bridges into the prisons

Gradimo prijelaze u zatvore

from the corporate sector --

iz korporativnog sektora:

individuals, organizations

pojedinci, organizacije

that will partner with Clean Start

koje će biti partneri poduzeću Clean Start

to enable us to provide employment,

kako bi nam omogućili da pružimo zaposlenja,

places to call home,

mjesta za život,

jobs, vocational training,

poslove, profesionalno osposobljavanje

for these women, girls,

za te žene, djevojke,

boys and men,

dječake i muškarce,

upon transition back into society.

po povratku u društvo.

I never thought

Nikada nisam mislila

that one day

da ću jednoga dana

I would be giving stories

pričati te priče

of the injustices that are so common

o nepravdama koje su uobičajene

within the criminal justice system,

unutar sustava kaznenog pravosuđa,

but here I am.

ali evo me sada.

Every time I go back to prison,

Svaki put kada sam u zatvoru,

I feel a little at home,

pomalo se osjećam kao kod kuće,

but it is the daunting work

ali težak je posao

to achieve the vision

postići viziju

that keeps me awake at night,

koja me drži budnom noćima,

connecting the miles to Louisiana,

spajajući udaljenosti do Louisiane,

which is deemed as the incarceration capital of the world,

koju smatramo svjetskom prijestolnicom kaznenog sustava,

carrying with me stories

noseći sa sobom priče

of hundreds of women

stotina žena

whom I have met within the prisons,

koje sam upoznala u zatvorima,

some of whom are now embracing their second chances,

od kojih su neke sada prigrlile njihove druge prilike

and others who are still on that bridge of life's journey.

i ostale koje su sada na prijelazu životnih puteva.

I embody a line

Utjelovljujem izjavu

from the great Maya Angelou.

velike Maye Angelou.

"I come as one,

"Dolazim sama,

but I stand as 10,000."

ali stojim za 10 000".

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

For my story is singular,

Moja je priča osobna,

but imagine with me

ali zamislite sa mnom

the millions of people

milijune ljudi

in prisons today,

koji su danas u zatvorima,

yearning for freedom.

žudeći za slobodom.

Three years post my conviction

Tri godine nakon moje osude

and two years post my release,

i dvije godine nakon otpuštanja,

I got cleared by the courts of appeal

žalbeni sud odbacio je optužbe

of any wrongdoing.

za bilo kakav prijestup.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

Around the same time,

Otprilike u isto vrijeme,

I got blessed with my son,

blagoslovljena sam sinom,

whom I named Uhuru,

kojeg sam nazvala Uhuru,

which in my dialect means "freedom."

što u mojem jeziku znači "sloboda".

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

Because I had finally gotten the freedom

Napokon sam dobila slobodu

that I so longed for.

za kojom sam toliko čeznula.

I come as one,

Dolazim sama,

but I stand as 10,000,

ali stojim za 10 000,

encouraged by the hard-edged hope

ohrabrena ogromnom nadom

that thousands of us have come together

jer se tisuće nas ujedinilo

to reform and transform the criminal justice system,

kako bi reformirali i transformirali sustav kaznenog pravosuđa,

encouraged that we are doing our jobs

ohrabrena jer radimo svoje poslove

as we are meant to do them.

onako kako se to očekuje od nas.

And let us keep doing them

I nastavit ćemo raditi

with no apology.

bez isprike.

Thank you.

Hvala.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)