True Love — and the Myth of “Happily Ever After” | Francesca Hogi | TED

翻译人员: Rosa Ye 校对人员: Yip Yan Yeung

The fairytale industrial complex has been lying to you.

那些童话产业一直在欺骗你。

Through a pervasive web of marketing,

通过无处不在的营销、

advertising, music, movies and more,

广告、音乐、电影等渠道，

it's said that while you can't buy love,

他们告诉你，

虽然你买不到爱，

you can buy your worthiness of being loved.

但是你可以花钱让自己值得被爱。

Its comodofication of romantic love as a storybook fantasy

他们能将浪漫爱情商品化的办法

can be summed up in three simple words:

可以用三个简单的词来概括：

"Happily ever after."

“幸福直到永远”。

Happiness, forever.

幸福，永远。

If only you're lucky enough

只要你足够幸运、

and good enough and good-looking enough

足够优秀、足够漂亮，

to be chosen by a high-status partner,

理想中，就能够在一个浪漫的开心时刻 被高质量伴侣选中。

ideally in a romantic comedy-worthy moment.

Over the last 10 years,

在过去的十年中，

I have spoken to thousands of people about their romantic hopes and dreams,

我与成千上万的人

谈论他们对爱情的期待和梦想，

and I can report that for many,

并且我发现，

对于许多人来说，

their vision of an ideal relationship

他们憧憬的理想伴侣关系

is straight out of the fairytale fantasy playbook.

直接就是童话故事的桥段。

Which is no wonder,

这也不足为奇，

given that "happily ever after" is used to sell us everything,

因为童话产业就是靠“幸福直到永远” 来向我们推销一切商品的，

from makeup to cars to chewing gum.

不管是化妆品，还是汽车，还是口香糖。

我们已经将这种宣传

We've incorporated this propaganda

into our real-life approach to relationships,

应用到了现实情感关系的处理中。

which disconnects us from love,

这也让我们脱离了爱情，

which disconnects us from self-worth

脱离了自我价值，

and causes genuine confusion about compatibility.

并造成了我们对爱情包容性的巨大困惑。

Instead of making us feel that love is an abundant,

它试图说服我们， 爱是外在的、稀缺的，

infinitely renewable resource inside of us, which it is,

而并非实际上我们内心丰富的、 无限可再生的资源。

it tries to convince us that love is external and scarce.

It's time to consider a new possibility for our collective romantic future.

现在是时候为我们爱情的未来 引入一种新的可能性了。

One that centers self-love, self-worth

它以自爱、自我价值为中心，

and prioritizes making romantic choices

优先做出符合我们真情实感的浪漫选择。

in alignment with our authentic values.

No purchase required.

无关金钱。

Despite what you've been told,

无论他们怎么说

each of us holds the keys to true love.

我们每个人都掌握着通往真爱的钥匙。

A true-love relationship, as I define it,

正如我所定义的那样：真正的爱情

has the foundational values of love,

是以爱、尊重、亲密、安全感、

respect, intimacy, safety, commitment, adoration and joy.

承诺、爱慕和欢乐为基础的。

When you approach romantic love from this foundation,

当你以此去追求爱情，

you empower yourself to transcend the shallow fantasy of love

你会赋予自己力量，

来升华你长期以来被灌输的浅薄爱情观。

you've been sold for so long.

With sincere intention,

凭借真心、

the courage to open your heart to be vulnerable

敞开心扉变得脆弱的勇气

and the cultivation of dating and love skills,

以及约会和恋爱技巧的培养，

true love can be a reality for all.

每个人都可以拥有真正的爱情。

How could it be any other way?

何来它法？

You are a born love genius.

你是天生的爱情天才。

You were born knowing how to love.

你生来就知道如何去爱。

All of the love that you've ever experienced

所有你曾经经历和将要经历的爱

and ever will experience

is inside of you right now.

现在就在你的心中。

The more that we cultivate the love within,

我们越努力培养这份内在的爱，

the better it is for everyone.

它就会越发美好。

That's because how we each individually approach love

因为我们每个个体对待爱情的态度，

contributes to how we all collectively experience it.

决定了我们作为共同体的爱情体验。

We have the opportunity to transcend the manipulations

我们有机会战胜童话产业的操纵，

of the fairytale industrial complex

and embrace a brighter, more intentional,

让所有人拥抱更光明、

更具真心、更包容的浪漫未来。

more inclusive romantic future for all.

One that sees us all as worthy without exception.

在那里我们所有人 无一例外，值得被爱。

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause)

（掌声）