True Love — and the Myth of “Happily Ever After” | Francesca Hogi | TED

譯者: Lilian Chiu 審譯者: Shelley Tsang 曾雯海

The fairytale industrial complex has been lying to you.

童話產業體系一直在騙你。

Through a pervasive web of marketing,

他們用行銷、廣告、音樂、

advertising, music, movies and more,

電影等等形成一個無所不在的網路，

it's said that while you can't buy love,

透過這個網路告訴你， 雖然你買不到愛情，

you can buy your worthiness of being loved.

你可以買到你被愛的價值。

它把浪漫愛情商品化 變成故事中的幻想，

Its comodofication of romantic love as a storybook fantasy

can be summed up in three simple words:

這個現象可以歸結成六個字：

"Happily ever after."

「從此幸福快樂」。

Happiness, forever.

幸福快樂，直到永遠。

If only you're lucky enough

只要你夠幸運，

and good enough and good-looking enough

且夠好，且夠好看，

to be chosen by a high-status partner,

能被一位高地位的伴侶相中，

ideally in a romantic comedy-worthy moment.

且理想上是在一個 浪漫喜劇的時刻被相中。

Over the last 10 years,

在過去十年間，

I have spoken to thousands of people about their romantic hopes and dreams,

我和數千人談過 他們的浪漫期望和美夢，

and I can report that for many,

我可以告訴大家，對許多人而言，

their vision of an ideal relationship

他們對於理想關係的憧憬

is straight out of the fairytale fantasy playbook.

完全是直接出自童話夢幻劇本。

Which is no wonder,

這也不足為奇，

given that "happily ever after" is used to sell us everything,

畢竟「從此幸福快樂」 被用來銷售我們各種東西，

from makeup to cars to chewing gum.

從化妝品，到汽車，到口香糖。

我們已經把這種宣傳放入到

We've incorporated this propaganda

into our real-life approach to relationships,

我們在真實生活裡 處理關係的方式中，

which disconnects us from love,

這反而會切斷我們和愛的連結，

which disconnects us from self-worth

切斷我們和自我價值的連結，

and causes genuine confusion about compatibility.

造成我們對相容適合性 感到相當困惑。

它並不是讓我們覺得愛是一種豐足、

Instead of making us feel that love is an abundant,

infinitely renewable resource inside of us, which it is,

無窮無盡的內在可再生 資源，愛真的是這樣，

它反而試圖說服我們 愛是外部的且稀少的。

it tries to convince us that love is external and scarce.

It's time to consider a new possibility for our collective romantic future.

現在該來為大家集體的 愛情未來考量新的可能性了。

One that centers self-love, self-worth

這個未來應該以自愛 和自我價值為中心，

and prioritizes making romantic choices

且優先考慮的是根據我們真實的

in alignment with our authentic values.

價值觀來做出相符的愛情選擇。

No purchase required.

不需要購買任何東西。

Despite what you've been told,

不論別人怎麼跟你說，

each of us holds the keys to true love.

我們每個人都持有通往真愛的鑰匙。

A true-love relationship, as I define it,

根據我的定義，有真愛的關係

has the foundational values of love,

具有的基本價值包括愛、

respect, intimacy, safety, commitment, adoration and joy.

尊重、親密、安全、

承諾、敬愛，和喜悅。

When you approach romantic love from this foundation,

當你從這個基礎出發去探索愛情時，

you empower yourself to transcend the shallow fantasy of love

就會讓你自己能夠超越長年一直 推銷給你的膚淺的愛情幻想，

you've been sold for so long.

With sincere intention,

只要有真誠的意圖，

the courage to open your heart to be vulnerable

有敞開心胸容許自己 表現脆弱的勇氣，

and the cultivation of dating and love skills,

再加上培養約會和愛情的技能，

true love can be a reality for all.

真愛可以成為所有人的現實。

How could it be any other way?

怎麼可能不是這樣呢？

You are a born love genius.

你生來就是愛情天才。

You were born knowing how to love.

你生來就知道如何去愛。

所有你曾經經歷過 以及將來會經歷的愛

All of the love that you've ever experienced

and ever will experience

is inside of you right now.

現在就在你的內在。

The more that we cultivate the love within,

我們越去培養內在的愛，

the better it is for everyone.

對每個人就越好。

That's because how we each individually approach love

那是因為我們每個人 個人如何對待愛情

contributes to how we all collectively experience it.

都會影響到我們所有人 集體對愛情的體驗。

We have the opportunity to transcend the manipulations

我們有機會

超越童話產業體系的操控，

of the fairytale industrial complex

and embrace a brighter, more intentional,

並擁抱更明亮、更有意義、

more inclusive romantic future for all.

更包容的愛情未來，讓所有人共享。

One that sees us all as worthy without exception.

這個未來會把所有人都視為 有價值的，沒有例外。

Thank you.

謝謝。

(Applause)

（掌聲）