A sci-fi vision of love from a 318-year-old hologram | Monica Byrne

譯者: Deborah Lu 審譯者: Jianan(Tiana) Zhao

Do I look real to you?

我看來還真實嗎？

Hope so.

希望是。

I have no idea if you're seeing this,

不知道你是否能看到全部，

but I'm just going to look ahead and trust that you're there.

但我就這樣向前看， 當你是在那兒。

I've drawn a semicircle in the sand in front of me

我在前面的沙上 畫了個半圓形

so I don't walk past it and look like I'm floating in midair.

來避免我走過界 然後看似浮在半空。

Right now I'm standing

現在我正站在

in the open air,

露天的海邊，

on a beach under a palm tree,

一個松櫚樹下，

in the exact spot where your stage used to be.

跟之前的舞台 是完全同一個地方。

I have 12 minutes with you.

我跟你有十二分鐘。

I set a limit.

是我設的上限。

My wife Navid once said

我老婆「納維德」曾說，

that infinite possibility is a creator's worst enemy.

「無限可能」 是創作家最大的敵人。

For example, this dress: I'd asked her to design something

就拿這衣服作舉例， 我請她設計個像

that a priest might have worn in 23rd-century Cairo.

二十三世紀開羅牧師 會穿的款式。

But we only had three days to make it,

但，只有三天的時間去完成，

and the only fabric we had

而當時為一能用的布

was an old duvet cover that another resident left behind.

是個老式的被套， 是前屋主留下的。

But she did it, and it's perfect.

但她做到了，很完美。

And she looked at it and said,

她滿意的看著說，

"Proof of concept -- creation needs constraint."

「概念證明： 創作需要規範的。」

So with these 12 minutes,

所以在這十二分鐘裡，

I'm going to tell you about my greatest discovery.

我要分享 我最重大的發現。

For my whole life, my obsession has been eternal life,

這一生我最大的夢想 就是「永生」，

as I know it is so many of yours.

我知道這跟大多數人一樣。

You may be happy to know that your research will pay off.

也許，你會高興知道 這探索將會得到結果。

I am 318 years old.

我已經 318 歲了。

The average human lifespan is now 432 years,

現在人類的平均壽命 是 432 歲，

and my work has been to extend the human lifespan indefinitely.

我的職業就是 無限延長人類的壽命。

And I've never questioned that someday,

我也一直相信，有一天

we'll reach a point where we'll be content.

我們會覺得滿足 認為「這生夠了」。

But the opposite keeps happening:

但相反的卻持續發生：

the longer we live, the longer we want to live,

我們活的越久， 就越想活得更久，

the less we want to die.

越不想死亡。

Who can blame us?

但誰又能怪我們呢？

The universe is so big.

宇宙是如此之大。

There won't ever not be more to see.

有永遠看不完的人事物。

Just yesterday,

就像昨天，

I was reading about how you can take out a boat on Europa

我閱讀了關於 利用船來航遊歐洲

and sail from island to island all over the planet,

從島嶼到島嶼 航遊整個星球，

and some of the islands have villages that you can stay and visit

其中有些島嶼還有村落 可供你參觀

and sleep under the shadow of Jupiter.

並睡在木星的影子下。

And then there's this other island where there's just one songwriter

還有另一個島嶼 那裏只有一個歌曲作家，

who sits and plays mandolin for the ocean.

他就坐那兒為大海演奏曼陀鈴。

And then there are others where there's no one

其它許多島嶼 都是「無人島」

and there never has been,

一直都是，

and so you go just for the pleasure of touching your foot to sand

所以去那兒只能享受 腳碰觸沙灘的滋味，

that no foot has ever touched before.

那個無腳碰觸過的沙。

You could spend 400 years doing just that.

願意的話，你可花四百年在那兒。

Right now the Moon is rising in the Northeast.

現在月亮正從 東北方升起。

I can see the cities on it with my naked eye.

只用肉眼就能 看見上面的都市。

They're connected like nerve clusters:

他們像神经元似的集群著：

Mariapolis on the South Pole, and Ramachandran on the Equator.

「瑪麗亞普利斯」在南極， 「拉馬錢德蘭」在赤道。

And New Tehran in the Sea of Tranquility.

還有「新德黑蘭」在寧靜之海

That's where Navid and I met.

那是我結識「納維德」的地方。

We were both artists downtown.

當時我倆是市中心的藝術家。

The day we met, we were passing each other in Azadi Square,

相識那天，我倆剛好 在「阿扎迪廣場」路過，

and we bumped shoulders.

我倆的肩膀碰了一下，

And I turned to apologize

我轉頭要道歉

and she, without saying hello or introducing herself or anything,

而她，並沒打招呼 也沒自我介紹甚麼的，

said, "Well, why do you think we didn't just pass through each other?"

就說，「你覺得我們 為何沒直接穿透對方？」

And first of all, I thought, "Who the hell are you?"

當時我第一個念頭是， 「你從哪兒冒出來的？」

But second, the question annoyed me,

第二，這問題實在很無聊，

because the answer is so simple.

因為理由太簡單了。

I said, "We didn't pass through each other

我答說，「我們沒穿透對方

because elementary particles have mass

是因為基本粒子是實質

and because the space between elementary particles

而且基本粒子 之間的空間

is filled with the binding energy that also has the properties of mass,

有電子結合能 而那能量也是實質，

and we've known that for 800 years."

這我們知道八百年了。」

She must have been in one of those moods

她一定是處於那種

where she likes to mess with strangers.

喜歡捉弄陌生人的心態。

Or maybe she was just flirting with me,

又或者她在挑逗我，

because she looked at me and said, "I thought you'd say that.

她看著我說， 「就知道你會這麼說。

Think deeper."

但再想深點兒。」

And then she took off her belt,

就把她自己的皮帶拿下來，

this belt that I'm wearing now,

就是我現在帶的這條，

and she said,

然後她說，

"Our universe is built so that particles have mass.

我們的宇宙建立在 基本粒子的質量上。

Without that basic constraint,

若沒有那基本規範，

we'd have just passed right through each other at the speed of light

我們就會在不知覺中

and never even known."

以光速穿透對方。」

And that's how our romance began.

我們的愛情是如此開始的。

Navid and I

「納維德」和我

never ran out of things to talk about.

有說不完的話題。

Never.

從未有過。

It was incredible.

這很難得。

It was like we were both heroes climbing up into a mountain range together

我倆就像勇者 一同攀登著山脈

and we kept arriving at new vistas,

並一直抵達新巔峰，

and these new, perfect constellations of words

這些創新的， 完美的星座訴語

would come out of us to describe them.

會不斷從我倆嘴裡冒出。

And we'd forget them as soon as we made them,

並說後即忘，

and throw them over our shoulder and go on to the next thing, on and up.

全拋至腦後， 接著換下個話題。

Or one time, Navid said that our talk was like we were always making bread,

「納維德」形容我倆 的話題像在做麵包，

and that we were always adding in a little more flour

會間接的添些麵粉

and a little more water,

和些許水，

and folding it in and turning it over

並循序漸進的揉麵

and never getting around to baking it.

但卻從沒把它給烤了。

If my obsession was eternal life, Navid's obsession was touch.

我夢想「永生」，而 「納維德」則是「觸摸」。

She had a genius for it.

她有觸摸的天分。

All of her work revolved around it.

她的工作都環繞著觸覺。

My body was like a canvas for her,

我的身體就像她的畫布，

and she would draw her fingertip down over my face so slowly

她會用指尖畫著我的臉， 以及慢的數度

that I couldn't feel it moving.

令我感覺不到它的移動。

And she was obsessed with the exact moment

另一個讓她著迷的是

when I would stop being able to tell the difference between her body and mine.

當我無法辨別 我倆軀體的差異。

Or she would just lie across me and dig her shoulder into mine

她也喜歡躺我一旁 將她肩膀埋我肩下

and say, "Pilar, why does this feel so good?"

並說，「皮拉爾，這感覺 怎麼這麼舒服？」

I'd say, "I don't know!"

我會答說，「我不知道！」

And she always had a facetious answer for her facetious question,

她總有滑稽的答案 來答覆自己滑稽的問題，

but the answer I remember today is,

令我映象最深的是，

"It feels good

「這美好的感覺

because the universe chose its constraints,

來自於宇宙選擇 的規範，

and we are its art."

我們就是那結果。」

It's always funny what you think the future is going to be like

好笑的是 我們所想像的未來

versus what it turns out to be.

總是與現實有差距。

In your time, scientists thought humans could freeze themselves

科學家曾以為 人類可以冷凍保存

and wake up in the future.

然後在未來醒來。

And they did -- but then they died.

是做到了 ... 但後來還是會死。

In your time, scientists thought humans could replace organs

科學家曾以為 人類可靠更新器官

and extend life for hundreds of years.

多活幾百年。

And they did,

是做到了，

but eventually, they died anyway.

但最終還是會死。

In your time, Earth is the only place people live.

在你的時空，地球是 唯一生存之地。

In my time, Earth is the place people come to die.

在我的時空，地球是 等死之地。

So when Navid started to show the signs,

所以當「納維德」也出現 死的徵兆，

our friends assumed I would do what everyone does,

朋友們都以為我會 如一般人一樣，

which is say goodbye and send her to Earth,

說「再見」然後 送她去地球，

so that none of us would have to look at her

如此我們就不用 看著她

or be around her or think about her and her ...

或跟她有所接觸 或想著她的一切 ...

failure to keep living.

即將結束的生命。

More than anything,

最大的原因，

they didn't want to be around her actual physical body.

是不想環繞於 她的軀體。

They kept referring to it as "declining,"

他們一直稱之為 「衰退」，

even though she herself was fascinated by it,

但她自己卻為這一切 充滿了驚奇，

the changes it was going through,

對軀體自然的變化，

following the rules of its nature day by day, independent of her will.

一天天的逐漸衰退， 無法自主。

I did send Navid to Earth.

我後來還是將「納維德」 送到地球。

But I came with her.

但我跟她一起來了。

I remember a friend of ours, just before we left, said,

記得臨走之際 一個朋友說，

"I just think it's arrogant,

「我認為這是高傲，

like the rules don't apply to you, like you think your love is that special."

好像你在規則之外， 好像你的愛情最偉大。」

But I did.

但我就是如此。

So, even here on Earth,

即使到了地球

I kept working on how to extend life.

我繼續研究著延續生命。

It didn't occur to me

當時我沒想過

that there could be any other response.

能有其它的方式面對。

I kept going back to that thing that Navid said to me

我不停想著「納維德」 對我所說的觀點

that day in Azadi Square,

在「阿扎迪廣場」那天，

that without that basic constraint --

有關，若缺乏基本規範─，

a universe that granted mass to matter --

就算宇宙授予物體「質量」──，

we would not exist.

我們也無法存在。

That's one rule.

那是其一的法則。

Another rule is that all mass is subject to entropy.

另一個法則是所有質量 都受制於「熱力學」。

And there is no way to be in this universe without mass.

若缺乏「質量」 是無法在這空間存在的。

I know. I tried everything.

這我懂，我全試過了。

I tried creating a photon box where the Higgs field was altered.

我曾做了個光子盒 來改變「希格斯」場。

I tried recording all subatomic movements in my body

我也記錄了我身上 所有次原子的運作

and replaying them on closed loop.

並以閉路循環方式重現。

Nothing worked.

但全沒用。

But my final innovation was to create a coil dimension

我最後一個發明 是電波線圈創造的異次元空間

with the boundaries of a body in which time moved infinitely slower,

令軀殼的時間 變得無限緩慢，

but whose projection would appear to move in normal time.

但其投射的身影 會如正常時間運作。

That body would then appear in our universe as a hologram --

以「全息投影」 的方式出現。

here but not here.

似有非有的存在。

When I realized I'd done it,

當我發現「我做到了」，

I ran to her room,

我立即衝進她房間，

so happy to tell her I'd done it,

興高采烈的想告訴她，

moving through space almost normally to all eyes,

我的身影 看似一般人移動，

even to my own,

但我卻忘了，

and went to lie down next to her,

當我到她身邊躺下，

and forgot, and fell right through her.

整個人卻直接穿透她軀體。

I'd found a way to eternal life,

我是找到了「永生」，

at the expense of the one thing Navid loved most,

卻失去了「納維德」 最摯愛的，

which was to touch and be touched.

那能觸摸和被觸摸的感覺。

And she threw me out.

就因為這樣，她甩了我。

I still got to watch, though.

但我還是目睹了一切。

Humans live 400 years now,

現在人類能活四百年，

and we still die.

但最終還是會死。

And when death comes,

當死亡來臨時，

the dying still pick at their bedsheets,

臨死者還是會抓著被單，

and their arms break out in blue and violet blooms on the insides,

然後手臂會逐漸 泛紫藍色，

and their breaths get further and further apart,

然後呼吸會越來越薄弱。

like they're falling asleep.

就像快睡著了。

I've always thought that

我一直認為

what gives a life meaning is adventure.

「探索」賦予生命意義。

And death is just a problem

而「死亡」只是個

we haven't discovered the solution to yet.

尚未解決的問題。

But maybe a life has meaning only because it ends.

又或許，生命之所以有意義 是因為它會結束。

Maybe that's the paradox:

也許這是個悖論：

constraints don't constrain, they allow perfect freedom.

「規範」並不是「侷限」， 其實自由空間很大。

(Sighs)

（嘆氣）

There was a thunderstorm here this morning.

今早，這裡下了雷雨。

There is another forecast for tonight,

但今晚不一定，

but for now the sky is clear.

目前天空晴朗。

I can't feel the wind here,

我無法感覺這裡的風，

but I just asked one of the caretakers who passed by what it felt like,

我剛問了路過的護理 這氣候如何，

and she said it felt warm, like melted butter.

她說感覺暖暖的， 像融化的奶油。

An answer worthy of my wife.

像我老婆會說的一樣。

I have to find my way back to the flesh.

我必須找到回肉體的方法。

Until then, I take up no space but the space you give me.

直到那刻，我不占空間 除了你撥放的空間。