How I made friends with reality | Emily Levine

翻译人员: RUOSENG LUSHANG 校对人员: Lan (Theresa) Peng

I'm going to first tell you something that in my grandmother

我打算先告诉你们一件事， 就连我祖母

would've elicited a five-oy alarm:

听了都会发出五声哎唷，

"Oy-oy-oy-oy-oy."

” 哎唷哎唷哎唷哎唷哎唷。“

(Laughter)

（笑声）

And here it is ... are you ready?

事情是这样的...你们准备好了吗？

OK.

好的。

I have stage IV lung cancer.

我得了晚期的肺癌。

Oh, I know, "poor me."

噢，我知道，" 我真可怜。”

I don't feel that way.

我并不这么认为。

I'm so OK with it.

我觉得根本没什么。

And granted, I have certain advantages --

老实说，我还有一些好处--

not everybody can take so cavalier an attitude.

不是每个人都能抱着这么无忧无虑的心态。

I don't have young children.

我没有年幼的孩子要抚养。

I have a grown daughter who's brilliant and happy and wonderful.

我有一个成年的，聪明，快乐，棒极了的女儿。

I don't have huge financial stress.

我没有巨大的财务压力。

My cancer isn't that aggressive.

我的癌症也没那么来势汹汹。

It's kind of like the Democratic leadership --

它倒有点像民主党的领导风格。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

not convinced it can win.

不让人信服它会赢。

It's basically just sitting there,

基本上只是坐在那里，

waiting for Goldman Sachs to give it some money.

等着高盛集团给点钱。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

(Applause)

（掌声）

Oh, and the best thing of all --

噢，最棒的事情是

I have a major accomplishment under my belt.

我获得了一个很大的成就。

Yes.

没错。

I didn't even know it until someone tweeted me a year ago.

要不是有人一年前在推特上给我发了条信息， 我甚至都不记得了。

他们是这么说的：

And here's what they said:

"You are responsible

"你要对那些

for the pussification of the American male."

没种的美国男性们负责。"

(Laughter)

（笑声）

(Applause)

（掌声）

Not that I can take all the credit, but ...

我并不想把功劳都归到我身上，但是...

(Laughter)

（笑声）

But what if you don't have my advantages?

但是你们要是没有我这些优势呢？

The only advice I can give you is to do what I did:

我能给的唯一建议就是按照我做的去做：

make friends with reality.

和现实交朋友。

You couldn't have a worse relationship with reality than I did.

你们不可能有比我与现实更糟的关系了。

From the get-go,

从一开始，

I wasn't even attracted to reality.

我甚至都不被现实所吸引。

If they'd had Tinder when I met reality,

如果我在Tinder（交友软件）上遇见现实时，

I would have swiped left

我肯定左划（表示不喜欢）

and the whole thing would have been over.

然后就没有然后了。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

And reality and I --

并且现实和我——

we don't share the same values, the same goals --

我们没有相同的价值观，相同的目标——

(Laughter)

（笑声）

To be honest, I don't have goals;

老实说，我没有目标；

I have fantasies.

我有幻想。

They're exactly like goals but without the hard work.

它们和目标很像，只是不需要任何努力。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

(Applause)

（掌声）

I'm not a big fan of hard work,

我不是工作狂，

but you know reality --

但你们了解现实——

it's either push, push, push, push, push

它要么就是逼迫，逼迫，逼迫，逼迫，逼迫，

through its agent, the executive brain function --

通过它的中间人，大脑执行功能——

one of the "yays" of dying:

其中一个渴望欢呼“哇”：

my executive brain function won't have me to kick around anymore.

我的大脑执行功能不再让我有更多考虑。

(Laughter)

(笑声)

But something happened

但一些事情就这样发生了,

that made me realize

它让我意识到，

that reality may not be reality.

现实可能不是真实。

So what happened was,

所以发生的是，

because I basically wanted reality to leave me alone --

因为我主要想让现实离我远一点——

but I wanted to be left alone in a nice house

但我想一个人待在漂亮的大房子里，

with a Wolf range and Sub-Zero refrigerator ...

房子里有一个Wolf牌子的灶具和 Sub-Zero牌子的电冰箱...

private yoga lessons --

私人的瑜伽课程——

I ended up with a development deal at Disney.

最终我和迪士尼达成了一个开发协议。

And one day I found myself in my new office

然后有一天，我在自己矮人路上的

新办公室里（迪士尼总部所在地）——

on Two Dopey Drive --

(Laughter)

(笑声)

which reality thought I should be proud of ...

现实原以为我应当很自豪...

(Laughter)

（笑声）

And I'm staring at the present they sent me to celebrate my arrival --

然后我看着他们寄来的庆祝我到来的礼物...

not the Lalique vase or the grand piano I've heard of other people getting,

不是Lalique（法国知名水晶品牌）的花瓶， 或者是我听说其他人得到的大钢琴，

but a three-foot-tall, stuffed Mickey Mouse

而是三英尺高的毛绒米老鼠

(Laughter)

（笑声）

with a catalog, in case I wanted to order some more stuff

和一份产品目录，以防我想要订购更多的东西，

that didn't jibe with my aesthetic.

但那并没有骗过我的审美。

(Laughter)

(笑声)

And when I looked up in the catalog

然后当我翻了翻目录册,

to see how much this three-foot-high mouse cost,

想看看这三英尺高的米老鼠多少钱，

here's how it was described ...

它是这么描述的...

"Life-sized."

“ 真人大小。”

(Laughter)

（笑声）

And that's when I knew.

就在这一刻我知道了。

Reality wasn't "reality."

现实并不是“ 真实。”

Reality was an imposter.

现实是个骗子。

So I dived into quantum physics and chaos theory

因此我埋头苦读量子物理学和混沌理论，

to try to find actual reality,

试图找到真实的现实，

and I've just finished a movie --

然后我就完成了一部电影——

yes, finally finished --

是的，最终完成了——

about all that,

关于那一切的，

so I won't go into it here,

因此我就不在这儿细聊了，

and anyway, it wasn't until after we shot the movie,

总之，直到我们把电影拍出来，它才成型，

when I broke my leg and then it didn't heal,

那时我摔断了我的腿，还没痊愈，

so then they had to do another surgery a year later,

需要一年后再做一个手术，

and then that took a year --

然后又花了一年时间——

two years in a wheelchair,

两年间我坐在轮椅上，

and that's when I came into contact with actual reality:

就在那时，我实实在在地与现实发生了联系：

limits.

限制。

Those very limits I'd spent my whole life denying

那些我花了一生时间否认，

and pushing past and ignoring

绕开并不予理睬的限制

were real,

是真实的，

and I had to deal with them,

并且我不得不去面对它们，

and they took imagination, creativity and my entire skill set.

我耗尽了我的想象力，创造力以及所有技能。

It turned out I was great at actual reality.

结果证明我很擅长处理实实在在的现实。

I didn't just come to terms with it,

我不仅仅和它达成了妥协，

I fell in love.

我还爱上了它。

And I should've known,

并且我本该已经知道，

given my equally shaky relationship with the zeitgeist ...

给予时代精神一个同样不坚定的关系...

I'll just say, if anyone is in the market for a Betamax --

我将只会说，如果有谁想买一个 Betamax（Beta制录像系统）——

(Laughter)

(笑声)

I should have known that the moment I fell in love with reality,

我本该已经知道当我爱上现实的那一刻，

the rest of the country would decide to go in the opposite direction.

这个国家的其他人都会决定朝着相反的方向走。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

But I'm not here to talk about Trump or the alt-right or climate-change deniers

但我不是在这儿讨论特朗普或是另类右派， 又或是气候变化的否认派们，

or even the makers of this thing,

甚至是这件事的制造者，

which I would have called a box,

就像我会叫这个东西是一个盒子，

except that right here, it says,

除了在这右边，写着，

"This is not a box."

“ 这不是一个盒子。”

(Laughter)

（笑声）

They're gaslighting me.

他们正在蒙骗我。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

(Applause)

（掌声）

But what I do want to talk about

但我确实想讨论的

is a personal challenge to reality

是一个我对于现实的个人挑战，

that I take personally,

针对我自己的，

and I want to preface it by saying that I absolutely love science.

并且我想先声明我是绝对热爱科学的。

I have this --

我拥有这个——

not a scientist myself --

不是一个科学家的我——

but an uncanny ability to understand everything about science,

而是一种理解所有关于科学的神秘能力，

except the actual science --

不包括实实在在的科学——

(Laughter)

（笑声）

which is math.

也就是数学。

But the most outlandish concepts make sense to me.

但我能理解最奇特的概念。

The string theory;

弦理论；

the idea that all of reality emanates from the vibrations of these teeny --

它的想法是所有的现实是 从这些微小的振动中散发出来的——

I call it "The Big Twang."

我称之为“ 一个大大的拨弦声。”

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Wave-particle duality:

波粒二象性：

the idea that one thing can manifest as two things ...

这个理论是一件东西能够以两件事物来显示...

you know?

你们知道吗？

That a photon can manifest as a wave and a particle

光子能够以波和粒子来显示，

coincided with my deepest intuitions

恰好和我心底的直觉不谋而合，

that people are good and bad,

人类有好有坏，

ideas are right and wrong.

想法有对有错。

Freud was right about penis envy

佛洛伊德曾对于 阴茎羡慕心理的理论是对的，

and he was wrong about who has it.

同时他对于谁有这样的心理是错的。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

(Applause)

（掌声）

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause)

（掌声）

And then there's this slight variation on that,

那儿有微小的差别，

which is reality looks like two things,

现实看起来像两样东西，

but it turns out to be the interaction of those two things,

但其实是两者之间的一种相互作用，

like space -- time,

就像空间——时间，

mass -- energy

数量——能量

and life and death.

以及生命和死亡。

So I don't understand --

因此我不明白——

I simply just don't understand

就是不明白，

the mindset of people who are out to "defeat death" and "overcome death."

那些有着想要跳出来 “打败死亡”和“攻克死亡”心态的人，

How do you do that?

你们如何做到？

How do you defeat death without killing off life?

你们如何在不结束生命的情况下打败死亡？

It doesn't make sense to me.

这对我来说讲不通。

I also have to say,

我也不得不说，

I find it incredibly ungrateful.

我觉得这相当忘恩负义。

I mean, you're given this extraordinary gift --

我的意思是你拥有这一件很特别的礼物——

life --

生命——

but it's as if you had asked Santa for a Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow

但这就好像你已经 向圣诞老人要了劳斯莱斯银影汽车，

and you had gotten a salad spinner instead.

然后你却得到了沙拉脱水器。

You know, it's the beef --

你知道的，牛肉——

the beef with it is that it comes with an expiration date.

牛肉有它的保质期。

Death is the deal breaker.

死亡是一场血色交易。

I don't get that.

我不理解。

I don't understand --

我不明白——

to me, it's disrespectful.

对我来说，那是不尊重的。

It's disrespectful to nature.

对大自然的不尊重。

The idea that we're going to dominate nature,

那种我们要主导大自然，

we're going to master nature,

我们要掌控大自然的想法，

nature is too weak to withstand our intellect --

大自然太无力而 不能抵抗我们这些高智商的人群——

no, I don't think so.

不，我不这么认为。

I think if you've actually read quantum physics as I have --

我想你们实际上正如我一样 已经读过量子物理学——

well, I read an email from someone who'd read it, but --

嗯，我读了一封来自 一位已经读过量子物理学人的邮件，但是——

(Laughter)

（笑声）

You have to understand

你得明白，

that we don't live in Newton's clockwork universe anymore.

我们不再生活在牛顿的发条宇宙。

We live in a banana peel universe,

我们生活在一个香蕉皮宇宙，

and we won't ever be able to know everything

并且我们不再能知道一切，

or control everything

或者控制一切，

或者预测一切。

or predict everything.

Nature is like a self-driving car.

大自然就像一辆自动驾驶的汽车。

The best we can be is like the old woman in that joke --

我们能做的最好的就像是那位笑话里的老妇人——

I don't know if you've heard it.

我不知道你们有没有听过。

An old woman is driving

一位老妇人正在开车，

with her middle-aged daughter in the passenger seat,

副驾驶坐着她中年的女儿，

and the mother goes right through a red light.

母亲在红灯时直接闯过去了。

And the daughter doesn't want to say anything that makes it sound like,

女儿不想说出任何听起来好像是，

"You're too old to drive,"

“你年纪太大不能开车了,” 这样的话，

so she didn't say anything.

所以她什么也没说。

And then the mother goes through a second red light,

然后这位母亲在第二处红灯时又闯过去了，

and the daughter, as tactfully as possible,

女儿尽可能机智地

says, "Mom, are you aware

说：“妈妈，你有没有意识到

that you just went through two red lights?"

你刚刚闯过两个红灯？"

And the mother says, "Oh, am I driving?"

母亲说，“噢，我正在开车吗？”

(Laughter)

（笑声）

(Applause)

（掌声）

So ...

所以...

and now, I'm going to take a mental leap,

现在，我思维要跳跃一下，

which is easy for me because I'm the Evel Knievel of mental leaps;

这对我来说很容易， 因为我是思维跳跃上的Evel Knievel（特级演员）

my license plate says,

我的车牌写着，

"Cogito, ergo zoom."

“我思，故我快。”

I hope you're willing to come with me on this,

我希望你们跟得上我，

but my real problem with the mindset that is so out to defeat death

但我对于那种试图打败死亡思想的不认同，

is if you're anti-death,

在于你是否是在对抗死亡，

which to me translates as anti-life,

这对我而言就等于是对抗生命，

which to me translates as anti-nature,

对我来说就是对抗大自然，

it also translates to me as anti-woman,

那对我来说也是对抗女性，

because women have long been identified with nature.

因为女性长久以来已经等同于大自然。

And my source on this is Hannah Arendt,

并且我的资料来源于Hannah Arendt,

the German philosopher who wrote a book called "The Human Condition."

一位德国哲学家，写过一本书叫做“人类境况”。

And in it, she says that classically,

在书中，她提到，传统上来说，

work is associated with men.

男人跟工作紧密相连，

Work is what comes out of the head;

工作是一个从大脑冒出来的东西，

it's what we invent,

是我们发明出来的，

it's what we create,

是我们创造出来的，

it's how we leave our mark upon the world.

是我们如何在这个世界上留下我们印记。

Whereas labor is associated with the body.

然而， 劳动是和我们身体联系在一起。

It's associated with the people who perform labor

是和完成工作

or undergo labor.

或是正在工作的人类联系在一起。

So to me,

所以对我来说，

the mindset that denies that,

这种思维模式，

that denies that we're in sync with the biorhythms,

这种否认我们与生物周期一致的思维模式，

the cyclical rhythms of the universe,

否认宇宙的周期性节奏的思维模式，

does not create a hospitable environment for women

并没有为女性

或是工作的人类创造出舒适的环境，

or for people associated with labor,

which is to say,

所以要说，

people that we associate as descendants of slaves,

人类成为了奴隶的后代，

or people who perform manual labor.

或是那些进行手工劳作的人们。

So here's how it looks from a banana-peel-universe point of view,

所以，从香蕉皮宇宙的角度来看看它是怎样的，

from my mindset, which I call "Emily's universe."

从我的思维概念来说，我叫它“艾米莉的宇宙。”

First of all,

首先，

I am incredibly grateful for life,

我非常地感激生活，

but I don't want to be immortal.

但我并不想不朽。

I have no interest in having my name live on after me.

我对千古留名并没兴趣。

In fact, I don't want it to,

实际上，我也不想这样，

because it's been my observation

因为据我观察，

that no matter how nice and how brilliant

无论你人多好，多聪明

or how talented you are,

或是多有才华，

50 years after you die, they turn on you.

在你死后50年， 他们会对你进行攻击。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

And I have actual proof of that.

并且我实际的证据，

A headline from the Los Angeles Times:

一则来自洛杉矶时报的大标题：

"Anne Frank: Not so nice after all."

"安妮·弗兰克（二战犹太人大屠杀中最著名的 受害者之一）： 归根到底并没有那么好。"

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Plus, I love being in sync

此外，我热爱

with the cyclical rhythms of the universe.

与宇宙的周期性节奏保持一致。

That's what's so extraordinary about life:

那是对生命多么特别的事情，

it's a cycle of generation,

这是新生的循环，

degeneration,

退化的，

regeneration.

再生的周期。

"I" am just a collection of particles

“我”只是众多颗粒的集合，

that is arranged into this pattern,

这些颗粒被排列出这种模式，

then will decompose and be available,

然后分解，再变的可用，

all of its constituent parts, to nature,

所有这些组成部分，对大自然而言，

to reorganize into another pattern.

重组成另一种模式。

To me, that is so exciting,

对我来说是无比令人兴奋的，

and it makes me even more grateful to be part of that process.

这使我对我成为这个过程的一部分而更加感激。

You know,

你们知道吗，

I look at death now from the point of view of a German biologist,

我现在以德国生物学家，

Andreas Weber的角度看待死亡。

Andreas Weber,

who looks at it as part of the gift economy.

他把死亡看作是礼物经济的一部分。

You're given this enormous gift, life,

你被给予了巨大的礼物——生命，

you enrich it as best you can,

你尽最大努力地丰富它，

and then you give it back.

然后你将它归还。

And, you know, Auntie Mame said, "Life is a banquet" --

同时，你知道吗， Auntie Mame 说过: “生命是一场盛宴” ——

well, I've eaten my fill.

嗯，我已经尽情地享用了美食。

I have had an enormous appetite for life,

我已经对生活充满了期望，

I've consumed life,

我享受了生命，

but in death, I'm going to be consumed.

但在死亡里，我将被享用。

I'm going into the ground just the way I am,

我将以我原本的样子入土为安，

and there, I invite every microbe

在那儿，我邀请每一个细菌，

and detritus-er

碎石，

and decomposer

分解者，

to have their fill.

去享用我——

I think they'll find me delicious.

我认为它们会发现我的美味。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

I do.

我确实这么认为。

So the best thing about my attitude, I think, is that it's real.

所以关于我态度最棒的事情， 我认为这一切是真实的。

You can see it.

你能看见它。

You can observe it.

你能观察它。

It actually happens.

它实实在在地发生着。

Well, maybe not my enriching the gift,

嗯，可能没有丰富的礼物，

I don't know about that --

我不知道——

but my life has certainly been enriched by other people.

但我的生命确实已经被其他朋友所丰富着。

By TED,

被TED，

which introduced me to a whole network of people

它介绍我认识了一群朋友，

who have enriched my life,

他们使我生活丰富多彩，

including Tricia McGillis, my website designer,

包括我的网站设计师Tricia McGillis,

who's working with my wonderful daughter

她和我优秀的女儿一起工作，

to take my website and turn it into something

把我的网站打造成不可思议的地方，

where all I have to do is write a blog.

在那儿我只需要写写博客。

I don't have to use the executive brain function ...

我不需要用大脑执行功能...

Ha, ha, ha, I win!

哈哈哈，我赚到了！

(Laughter)

（笑声）

And I am so grateful to you.

同时我也非常感激你们。

I don't want to say "the audience,"

我不想说，“ 观众们，“

because I don't really see it as we're two separate things.

因为我不认为我们有什么不同。

I think of it in terms of quantum physics, again.

再用量子物理学来说，

And, you know, quantum physicists are not exactly sure what happens

你知道的，量子物理学不完全确定

when the wave becomes a particle.

当波成为了质子时到底发生了什么。

There are different theories --

有不同的理论——

the collapse of the wave function,

波函数的瓦解，

去相干性——

decoherence --

但它们都在一件事上达成共识：

but they're all agreed on one thing:

that reality comes into being through an interaction.

现实通过相互作用而存在的。

(Voice breaking) So do you.

（嗓音低沉）你们也是。

And every audience I've ever had,

所有我曾经或现在，

past and present.

遇到的你们。

Thank you so much for making my life real.

非常感谢，是你们使我的生命变得真实。

(Applause)

（掌声）

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause)

（掌声）

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause)

（掌声）

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause)

（掌声）

Thank you.

谢谢。