The Chilling Aftershock of a Brush with Death | Jean-Paul Mari | TED Talks

43,745 views ใƒป 2015-12-10

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ืื ื ืœื—ืฅ ืคืขืžื™ื™ื ืขืœ ื”ื›ืชื•ื‘ื™ื•ืช ื‘ืื ื’ืœื™ืช ืœืžื˜ื” ื›ื“ื™ ืœื”ืคืขื™ืœ ืืช ื”ืกืจื˜ื•ืŸ.

ืžืชืจื’ื: Zeeva Livshitz ืžื‘ืงืจ: Ido Dekkers
00:13
It was April 8, 2003.
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ื–ื” ื”ื™ื” ื‘-8 ื‘ืืคืจื™ืœ 2003
00:17
I was in Baghdad, covering the war in Iraq.
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ื•ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ื‘ื‘ื’ื“ื“ ืžืกืงืจ ืืช ื”ืžืœื—ืžื” ื‘ืขื™ืจืง.
00:22
That day, Americans tanks started arriving in Baghdad.
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ื•ื–ื” ื”ื™ื” ื”ื–ืžืŸ ืฉื‘ื• ื”ืืžืจื™ืงืื™ื ื ื›ื ืกื• ืขื ื”ื˜ื ืงื™ื ืฉืœื”ื ืœื‘ื’ื“ื“,
ื•ื”ื™ื™ื ื• ื›ืžื” ืขื™ืชื•ื ืื™ื ื‘ืžืœื•ืŸ ืคืœืกื˜ื™ืŸ,
00:28
We were just a few journalists in the Palestine Hotel,
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ื•ื›ืคื™ ืฉืงื•ืจื” ื‘ืžืœื—ืžื”, ื”ืœื—ื™ืžื” ื›ื‘ืจ ื”ืชืงื“ืžื” ืœืขื‘ืจื ื•
00:35
and, as happens in war,
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00:37
the fighting began to approach outside our windows.
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ืžืชื—ืชื™ื ื•, ืžื—ื•ืฅ ืœื—ืœื•ื ื•ืช ืฉืœื ื•.
00:42
Baghdad was covered in black smoke and oil.
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ื‘ื’ื“ื“ ื”ื™ื™ืชื” ืžืœืื” ื‘ืขืฉืŸ ืฉื—ื•ืจ ืฉืœ ื“ืœืง,
00:46
It smelled awful.
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ื–ื” ื”ืฆื—ื™ืŸ, ืœื ื™ื›ื•ืœื ื• ืœืจืื•ืช ื›ืœื•ื, ืื‘ืœ ื™ื“ืขื ื• ืžื” ืงื•ืจื”,
00:48
We couldn't see a thing, but we knew what was happening.
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ื•ืื ื™, ื”ืฆื˜ืจื›ืชื™ ืœื›ืชื•ื‘ ืžืืžืจ, ื›ืžื•ื‘ืŸ.
00:50
Of course, I was supposed to be writing an article,
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ื–ื” ืชืžื™ื“ ื”ื™ื•ื ืฉื‘ื• ื–ื” ืงื•ืจื” ืฉืืชื” ืฆืจื™ืš ืœื›ืชื•ื‘ ืžืืžืจ.
00:53
but that's how it always goes --
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00:54
you're supposed to be writing and something big happens.
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ืื– ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ืื– ื‘ื—ื“ืจื™ ืฉื‘ืงื•ืžื” ื”-16,
00:57
So I was in my room on the 16th floor,
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ื‘ืžื”ืœืš ื›ืชื™ื‘ื”, ื•ืžืคืขื ืœืคืขื ื”ืœื›ืชื™ ืืœ ื”ื—ืœื•ืŸ
01:00
writing and looking out the window every now and then
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ื›ื“ื™ ืœืจืื•ืช ืžื” ืงื•ืจื”.
01:03
to see what was happening.
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ื•ืื– ื‘ืจื’ืข ืžืกื•ื™ื ื”ื™ื” ื”ืœื ืืœื™ื ืžืื•ื“
01:05
Suddenly, there was a huge explosion.
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01:07
During the previous three weeks,
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ืžื–ื” ืฉืœื•ืฉื” ืฉื‘ื•ืขื•ืช ืฉืžืคืฆื™ืฆื™ื
01:09
there had been shelling with half-ton missiles,
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ื‘ื˜ื™ืœื™ื ื•ื‘ืคืฆืฆื•ืช ืฉืœ ื—ืฆื™ ื˜ื•ืŸ,
01:13
but this time, the shock --
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ืื‘ืœ ืฉื, ื”ื”ืœื, ื”ืจื’ืฉืชื™ ืื•ืชื• ื‘ืชื•ื›ื™,
01:16
I felt it inside of me,
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01:19
and I thought, "It's very close.
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ื•ืืžืจืชื™ ืœืขืฆืžื™, ื–ื” ืžืื•ื“ ืงืจื•ื‘ ืžืื•ื“, ืžืื•ื“ ืงืจื•ื‘!
01:21
It's very, very close."
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ื•ื›ืš ื™ืจื“ืชื™ ืœืจืื•ืช ืžื” ืงื•ืจื”,
01:23
So I went down to see what was happening.
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01:25
I went down to the 15th floor
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ื™ืจื“ืชื™ ืœืงื•ืžื” 15, ื›ื“ื™ ืœืจืื•ืช,
01:29
to take a look.
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ื•ืจืื™ืชื™ ืื ืฉื™ื ืฆื•ืจื—ื™ื ื‘ืžืกื“ืจื•ื ื•ืช, ืขื™ืชื•ื ืื™ื,
01:31
And I saw people, journalists, screaming in the hallways.
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01:34
I walked into a room
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ื•ื ื›ื ืกืชื™ ืœื—ื“ืจ
01:36
and realized that it had been hit by a missile.
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ื•ื”ื‘ื ืชื™ ืฉื—ื“ืจ ื–ื” ื ืคื’ืข ืžื˜ื™ืœ.
ื”ื™ื” ืžื™ืฉื”ื• ืคืฆื•ืข,
01:42
Someone had been wounded.
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ืงืจื•ื‘ ื™ื•ืชืจ ืœื—ืœื•ืŸ ื”ื™ื” ืื“ื
01:45
There was a man near the window,
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ืฉื”ื™ื” ืฆืœื, ืฉืžื• ื”ื™ื” ื˜ืืจืืก ืคืจื•ื˜ืกื•ื™ืง,
01:47
a cameraman named Taras Protsyuk,
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01:52
lying face-down.
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ืฉืฉื›ื‘ ืขืœ ื‘ื˜ื ื•.
01:58
Having worked in a hospital before, I wanted to help out.
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ื”ื™ื™ืชื” ืชืงื•ืคื” ืฉืขื‘ื“ืชื™ ื‘ื‘ื™ืช ื—ื•ืœื™ื, ื›ืœ ืฉื™ื›ื•ืœืชื™ ืœืขื–ื•ืจ.
02:02
So I turned him over.
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ืื– ื”ืคื›ืชื™ ืื•ืชื•; ื•ื›ืืฉืจ ื”ืคื›ืชื™ ืื•ืชื•,
02:04
And when I turned him over,
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ื”ื•ื ื”ื™ื” ืคืชื•ื— ืžืขืฆื ื”ื—ื–ื” ืขื“ ืœืขืฆื ื”ื‘ื•ืฉืช ืื‘ืœ ืœื ืจืื™ืชื™ ื›ืœื•ื, ื›ืœื•ื.
02:08
I noticed that he was open from sternum to pubis,
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02:11
but I couldn't see anything, nothing at all.
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02:14
All I saw was a white, pearly, shiny spot that blinded me,
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ืจืื™ืชื™ ื›ืชื ืœื‘ืŸ , ืžื‘ืจื™ืง, ืฉืกื ื•ื•ืจ ืื•ืชื™
02:21
and I didn't understand what was going on.
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ื•ืœื ื”ื‘ื ืชื™.
02:23
Once the spot disappeared and I could see his wound,
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ื•ืื– ื”ื›ืชื ื”ืชืคื•ื’ื’ ื•ืจืื™ืชื™ ืืช ื”ืคืฆื™ืขื” ืฉื”ื™ื™ืชื” ืžืื•ื“ ืงืฉื”.
02:26
which was very serious,
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ื‘ืขื–ืจืช ื—ื‘ืจื™ื ืขื˜ืคื ื• ืื•ืชื• ื‘ืกื“ื™ืŸ,
02:28
my buddies and I put a sheet underneath him,
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02:30
and we carried him onto an elevator that stopped at each of the 15 floors.
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ื”ื•ืจื™ื“ื• ืื•ืชื• ื‘ืžืขืœื™ืช ืฉืขืฆืจื” ื‘ื›ืœ ืงื•ืžื”, 15 ืงื•ืžื•ืช,
ื”ื›ื ื™ืกื• ืื•ืชื• ืœืžื›ื•ื ื™ืช ืฉื”ืกื™ืขื” ืื•ืชื• ืœื‘ื™ืช ื—ื•ืœื™ื;
02:34
We put him in a car that took him to the hospital.
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02:36
He died on the way to the hospital.
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ื”ื•ื ืžืช ื‘ื“ืจืš ืœื‘ื™ืช ื”ื—ื•ืœื™ื, ื•ื”ืฆืœื ื”ืกืคืจื“ื™ ื—ื•ื–ื” ืงื•ื–ื•,
02:38
The Spanish cameraman Josรฉ Couso, who was on the 14th floor and also hit --
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ืฉื‘ืขืฆืžื• ื”ื™ื” ื‘ืงื•ืžื” 14 ืฉื ืคื’ืข ื’ื ื›ืŸ
02:43
because the shell had exploded between the two floors --
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ืžืฉื•ื ืฉื”ืคื’ื–ื™ื ืคื’ืขื• ื‘ืฉืชื™ ื”ืงื•ืžื•ืช --
ืžืช ืขืœ ืฉื•ืœื—ืŸ ื”ื ื™ืชื•ื—ื™ื, ื›ืฉื—ื–ืจืชื™,
02:47
died on the operating table.
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02:49
As soon as the car left, I went back.
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ืื—ืจื™ ืฉื”ืžื›ื•ื ื™ืช ืขื–ื‘ื” ื”ื™ื” ืœื™ ืžืืžืจ ืœื›ืชื•ื‘ ,
02:51
There was that article I was supposed to write --
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02:53
which I had to write.
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ืฉื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ืฆืจื™ืš ืœื›ืชื•ื‘, ื•ื›ืš, ื”ืฆื’ืชื™ ืืช ืขืฆืžื™...
02:56
And so --
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02:57
I returned to the hotel lobby with my arms covered in blood,
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ื—ื–ืจืชื™ ืœืœื•ื‘ื™ ืฉืœ ื”ืžืœื•ืŸ, ืขื ื–ืจื•ืข ืžืœืื” ื‘ื“ื,
03:04
when one of the hotel gofers stopped me
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ื•ืฉื ื”ื™ื” ื’ื‘ืจืชืŸ ืขื™ืจืืงื™ ืฉืขืฆืจ ืื•ืชื™
03:07
and asked me to pay the tax I hadn't paid for 10 days.
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ื›ื“ื™ ืœื“ืจื•ืฉ ืžืžื ื™ ืœืฉืœื ืžืกื™ื ืฉืœื ืฉื™ืœืžืชื™ ื‘ืื™ื—ื•ืจ ืฉืœ 10 ื™ืžื™ื
ืื– ืฉืœื—ืชื™ ืื•ืชื• ืœื›ืœ ื”ืจื•ื—ื•ืช ื•ืืžืจืชื™ ืœืขืฆืžื™:
03:11
I told him to get lost.
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03:13
And I said to myself: "Clear your head, put it all aside.
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"ืžืขืœ ืœื›ืœ ืฉื™ื ืืช ื–ื” ื‘ืฆื“. ืฉื™ื ืืช ื–ื” ื‘ืฆื“!
03:19
If you want to write, you need to put it all aside."
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ืื ืืชื” ืจื•ืฆื” ืœื›ืชื•ื‘, ืฉื™ื ืืช ื–ื” ื‘ืฆื“."
03:21
And that's what I did.
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ื–ื” ืžื” ืฉืขืฉื™ืชื™, ืขืœื™ืชื™, ื›ืชื‘ืชื™ ืžืืžืจ,
03:22
I went upstairs, wrote my article and sent it off.
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ืฉืฉืœื—ืชื™. ืื‘ืœ ืื—ืจ ื›ืš
03:27
Later, aside from the feeling of having lost my colleagues,
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ืžื—ื•ืฅ ืœื”ืฉืคืขื” ืฉืœ ืื•ื‘ื“ืŸ ืขืžื™ืชื™ื,
03:31
something else was bothering me.
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ื”ื™ื” ืžืฉื”ื• ืฉื”ื˜ืจื™ื“ ืื•ืชื™:
03:34
I kept seeing that shiny, pearly spot,
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ืฉื‘ืชื™ ื•ืจืื™ืชื™ ืฉื•ื‘ ืืช ื”ื›ืชื ื”ื–ื”, ื”ืžื‘ืจื™ืง,
03:40
and I couldn't understand what it meant.
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ื•ืœื ื”ื‘ื ืชื™ ืžื” ื–ื” ืจื•ืฆื” ืœื•ืžืจ.
03:43
And then, the war was over.
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ื•ืื–, ื”ืžืœื—ืžื” ืขื‘ืจื”
03:48
Later, I thought: "That's not possible. I can't just not know what happened."
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ืžืื•ื—ืจ ื™ื•ืชืจ, ืืžืจืชื™ ืœืขืฆืžื™, ื–ื” ืœื ื™ืชื›ืŸ,
ืื™ื ื™ ื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœื ืœื“ืขืช ืžื” ืงืจื”.
03:54
Because it wasn't the first time, and it didn't only happen to me.
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ื›ื™ ื–ื• ืœื ื”ื™ื™ืชื” ื”ืคืขื ื”ืจืืฉื•ื ื”,
ื–ื” ืœื ืคืฉื•ื˜ ืจืง ืืฆืœื™,
03:58
I have seen things like that happen to others
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ืจืื™ืชื™ ืืฆืœ ื”ืื—ืจื™ื ื“ื‘ืจื™ื ื›ืืœื”
ื‘-20 ืื• 35 ืฉื ื” ืฉืœ ื“ื™ื•ื•ื— ืขื™ืชื•ื ืื™.
04:02
in my 20 to 35 years of reporting.
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04:04
I have seen things that had an effect on me too.
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ืจืื™ืชื™ ื“ื‘ืจื™ื ืฉื”ืฉืคื™ืขื• ืขืœื™ ื’ื, ืื‘ืœ ืœืžืฉืœ,
04:08
For example, there was this man I knew in Lebanon,
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ื‘ืœื‘ื ื•ืŸ, ื”ื™ื›ืจืชื™ ืื“ื,
04:11
a 25-year-old veteran who had been fighting for five years --
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ื™ื•ืฆื ืฆื‘ื, ื”ื•ื ื”ื™ื” ื‘ืŸ 25, 5 ืฉื ื™ื ืฉืœ ืžืœื—ืžื”,
ืื– ื–ื” ื”ื™ื” ื—ื™ื™ืœ ื•ืชื™ืง, ืฉื”ืœื›ื• ืื—ืจื™ื• ืœื›ืœ ืžืงื•ื!
04:14
a real veteran -- who we would follow everywhere.
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04:16
He would crawl in the dark with confidence --
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ื–ื” ื”ื™ื” ืžื™ืฉื”ื• ืฉื–ื—ืœ ื‘ืœื™ืœื” ื‘ื‘ื™ื˜ื—ื•ืŸ,
ื”ื™ื” ื—ื™ื™ืœ ืžืขื•ืœื”, ื—ื™ื™ืœ ืืžื™ืชื™! ืื– ื”ืœื›ื• ื‘ืขืงื‘ื•ืชื™ื•
04:20
he was a great soldier, a true soldier --
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04:23
so we would follow him, knowing that we would be safe with him.
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ื›ื™ ื™ื“ืขื• ืฉืื™ืชื• ื–ื” ื”ื™ื” ื‘ื˜ื•ื—,
ื™ื•ื ืื—ื“, ืกื™ืคืจื• ืœื™, ื•ืจืื™ืชื™ ืื•ืชื• ืฉื•ื‘,
04:26
And one day, as I was told --
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04:28
and I've seen him again since --
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ื”ื•ื ืฉื™ื—ืง ืงืœืคื™ื ื‘ืงืกืจืงื˜ื™ืŸ,
04:30
he was back in the camp, playing cards,
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04:32
when someone came in next door,
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ื•ื›ืฉืžื™ืฉื”ื• ื ื›ื ืก ืฉืคืœื˜ ื™ืจื™ื”,
04:36
and discharged their weapon.
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04:38
As the gun went off,
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ื›ืฉื”ื™ืจื™ื” ื ื•ืจืชื” , ื™ืจื™ ืคืฉื•ื˜,
04:39
that blast, that one shot, made him duck quickly under the table,
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ื’ืจื ืœื• ืœื”ืฉืœื™ืš ืขืฆืžื• ืžืชื—ืช ืœืฉื•ืœื—ืŸ, ื›ืžื• ื™ืœื“!
04:46
like a child.
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04:47
He was shaking, panicking.
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ื”ื•ื ืจืขื“, ื”ื•ื ื”ื™ื” ืžื‘ื•ื”ืœ, ื•ื›ืื™ืœื• ืžืขื•ืœื ืœื ื™ื›ื•ืœ ื”ื™ื”
04:49
And since then, he has never been able to get up and fight.
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ืœืงื•ื ื•ืœื”ื™ืœื—ื. ื•ื”ื•ื ืกื™ื™ื, ืžืฆืืชื™ ืื•ืชื• ื‘ืžืงื•ื ืื—ืจ,
04:54
He ended up working as a croupier
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ืงืจื•ืคื™ื™ื” ื‘ืงื–ื™ื ื• ื‘ื‘ื™ื™ืจื•ืช ืžืฉื•ื ืฉื”ื•ื ืœื ื™ื›ืœ ื™ื•ืชืจ ืœื™ืฉื•ืŸ,
04:56
in a Beirut casino where I later found him,
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04:59
because he couldn't sleep, so it was quite a suitable job.
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ืื– ื–ื• ื”ื™ื™ืชื” ืขื‘ื•ื“ื” ืœื’ืžืจื™ ืžืชืื™ืžื”
05:02
So I thought to myself,
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ืื– ืืžืจืชื™ ืœืขืฆืžื™, ืžื” ื–ื” ื”ื“ื‘ืจ ื”ื–ื”
05:04
"What is this thing that can kill you
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ืฉื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœื”ืจื•ื’ ืื•ืชืš ืœืœื ืคื’ื™ืขื” ืœื›ืื•ืจื”? ืžื” ืงื•ืจื”?
05:08
without leaving any visible scars?
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05:12
How does that happen?
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ืžื” ื–ื” ื”ื“ื‘ืจ ื”ืžื•ื–ืจ ื”ื–ื”?
05:16
What is this unknown thing?"
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ื•ื–ื” ื”ื™ื” ื ืคื•ืฅ ืžื›ื“ื™ ืฉื–ื” ื™ื”ื™ื” ืžืฉื”ื•
05:19
It was too common to be coincidental.
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ืฉื”ื•ื ืžืงืจื™, ื•ืœื›ืŸ, ื”ืชื—ืœืชื™ ืœื—ืงื•ืจ,
05:23
So I started to investigate --
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05:25
that's all I know how to do.
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ื–ื” ื›ืœ ืžื” ืฉืื ื™ ื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœืขืฉื•ืช. ื”ืชื—ืœืชื™ ืœื—ืงื•ืจ
05:27
I started to investigate
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05:29
by looking through books,
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ื•ืœื—ืคืฉ ื‘ืกืคืจื™ื, ืืฆืœ ืคืกื™ื›ื™ืื˜ืจื™ื, ื‘ืžื•ื–ื™ืื•ื ื™ื, ืกืคืจื™ื•ืช, ื•ื›ื•'.
05:32
reaching out to psychiatrists,
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05:35
going to museums, libraries, etc.
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05:38
Finally, I discovered that some people knew about this --
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ื•ืื–, ื’ื™ืœื™ืชื™ ืฉื”ื™ื• ืื ืฉื™ื ืฉื”ื™ื›ืจืชื™,
05:42
often military psychiatrists --
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ืœืขืชื™ื ืงืจื•ื‘ื•ืช ืคืกื™ื›ื™ืื˜ืจื™ื ืฆื‘ืื™ื™ื, ืฉืžื” ืฉื”ื™ื” ื‘ืคื ื™ื ื•
05:44
and that what we were dealing with was called trauma.
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ื”ื•ื ืžืฉื”ื• ... ืฉืงื•ืจืื™ื ืœื• ื˜ืจืื•ืžื”,
05:49
Americans call it PTSD or traumatic neurosis.
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ื”ืืžืจื™ืงืื™ื ืงื•ืจืื™ื ืœื–ื” ื”ืคืจืขืช ื“ื—ืง ืคื•ืกื˜ ื˜ืจืื•ืžื˜ื™ืช, ื˜ืจืื•ืžื”, ื ื•ื™ืจื•ื–ื” ื˜ืจืื•ืžื˜ื™ืช,
05:54
It was something
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ืฉื”ื™ื” ืžืฉื”ื• ืฉื”ื™ื” ืงื™ื™ื, ืืฉืจ ืžืขื•ืœื ืœื ื“ื™ื‘ืจื ื• ืขืœื™ื•.
05:58
that existed,
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06:00
but that we never spoke about.
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ื•ื˜ืจืื•ืžื” ื–ื•, ืžื”ื™?
06:04
So, this trauma --
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06:06
what is it?
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06:07
Well, it's an encounter with death.
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ื•ื‘ื›ืŸ, ื–ื” ืžืคื’ืฉ ืขื ื”ืžื•ื•ืช.
ืื™ื ื ื™ ื™ื•ื“ืข ืื ืจืื™ืชื ืื™ ืคืขื ืžื•ื•ืช ืื ื™ ืœื ืžื“ื‘ืจ ืขืœ ื’ื•ืคื•ืช,
06:11
I don't know if you've ever had an experience with death --
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06:13
I'm not talking about dead bodies,
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ืื ื™ ืœื ืžื“ื‘ืจ ืขืœ ื’ื•ืฃ ืฉืœ ืกื‘ื ืขืœ ืžื™ื˜ืช ื‘ื™ืช ื—ื•ืœื™ื, ืœื!
06:15
or someone's grandfather lying in a hospital bed,
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06:19
or someone who got hit by a car.
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ืื• ืขืœ ืžื™ืฉื”ื• ืฉื”ืชื”ืคืš ืขืœ ื”ื›ื‘ื™ืฉ.
06:24
I'm talking about facing the void of death.
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ืื ื™ ืžื“ื‘ืจ ืขืœ ื”ืžืคื’ืฉ ืขื ื”ืื™ื ื•ืช ืฉืœ ื”ืžื•ื•ืช.
06:29
And that is something no one is supposed to see.
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ื•ืืช ื–ื” ืื™ืŸ ืœื ื• ื”ืจืฉื•ืช ืœืจืื•ืช
06:35
People used to say,
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ื”ืงื“ืžื•ื ื™ื ืืžืจื•: ืœื ื ื™ืชืŸ ืœื”ื‘ื™ื˜ ืœื ื‘ืฉืžืฉ ื•ืœื ื‘ืžื•ื•ืช
06:37
"Neither the sun, nor death can be looked at with a steady eye."
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06:41
A human being should not have to face the void of death.
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ื”ืื“ื ืœื ืืžื•ืจ ืœืฆืคื•ืช ื‘ืื™ื ื•ืช ืฉืœ ื”ืžื•ื•ืช.
ื•ื›ืฉื–ื” ืงื•ืจื” ื–ื” ื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœื”ื™ืฉืืจ ื‘ืœืชื™ ื ืจืื” ืœื–ืžืŸ ืžื”,
06:46
But when that happens,
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06:49
it can remain invisible for a while --
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06:53
days, weeks, months, sometimes years.
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ื™ืžื™ื, ืฉื‘ื•ืขื•ืช, ื—ื•ื“ืฉื™ื, ืฉื ื™ื ืœืคืขืžื™ื.
06:56
And then, at some point,
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ื•ืื– ืคืชืื•ื ื–ื” ืžืชืคื•ืฆืฅ, ื›ื™ ื–ื” ืžืฉื”ื•
06:59
it explodes,
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07:00
because it's something that has entered your brain --
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ืฉื—ื“ืจ ืœืžื•ื—, ืกื•ื’ ืฉืœ ื—ืœื•ืŸ ื›ื–ื”,
07:04
a sort of window between an image and your mind --
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ื‘ื™ืŸ ื“ื™ืžื•ื™ ืœืžื•ื— ืฉืœื•, ืฉื”ืชืžืงื ื‘ืชื•ืš ื”ืžื•ื—,
07:09
that has penetrated your brain,
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07:11
staying there and taking up all the space inside.
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ืฉื ืฉืืจ ื•ืฉื™ื™ืงื— ืืช ื›ืœ ื”ืฉื˜ื— ื‘ืžื•ื—ื ื•,
07:17
And there are people -- men, women,
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ื•ืื–, ื™ืฉ ืœื›ื ืื ืฉื™ื, ื’ื‘ืจื™ื, ื ืฉื™ื,
07:20
who suddenly no longer sleep.
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ืฉืคืชืื•ื ืœื ื™ืฉื ื™ื ื™ื•ืชืจ,
ื—ื•ื•ื™ื ื”ืชืงืคื™ ื—ืจื“ื” ื•ืคืื ื™ืงื” ื ื•ืจืื”!
07:24
And they experience horrible anxiety attacks --
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07:26
panic attacks, not just minor fears.
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ืคืื ื™ืงื”, ืœื ืคื—ื“ื™ื ืงื˜ื ื™ื.
07:29
They suddenly don't want to sleep,
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ืฉืคืชืื•ื ืœื ืจื•ืฆื™ื ืœื™ืฉื•ืŸ, ื›ื™ ื›ืฉื”ื ื™ืฉื ื™ื,
07:32
because when they do, they have the same nightmare every night.
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ื™ืฉ ืœื”ื ื›ืœ ืœื™ืœื”, ื›ืœ ืœื™ืœื”, ืื•ืชื• ืกื™ื•ื˜,
07:36
They see the same image every night.
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ื›ืœ ืœื™ืœื” ืื•ืชื” ืชืžื•ื ื”, ืžื”ื™ ื”ืชืžื•ื ื”? ื•ื‘ื›ืŸ, ื”ืชืžื•ื ื”,
07:38
What type of image?
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07:40
For example, a soldier who enters a building
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ื–ื” ืœืžืฉืœ ืœื•ื—ื
ืฉื ื›ื ืก ืœื‘ื ื™ื™ืŸ,
ื•ืžื•ืฆื ืืช ืขืฆืžื• ืคื ื™ื ืืœ ืคื ื™ื ืžื•ืœ ืœื•ื—ื ืื—ืจ ืฉืžื—ืคืฉ ืื•ืชื•,
07:43
and comes face to face with another soldier aiming at him.
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07:45
He looks at the gun, straight down the barrel.
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ื”ื•ื ืจื•ืื” ืืช ื”ืจื•ื‘ื” , ื”ืขื™ืŸ ืฉืœ ื”ืจื•ื‘ื”.
07:48
And this barrel suddenly becomes enormous, deformed.
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ื•ื”ืจื•ื‘ื” ืœืคืชืข ื’ื“ืœ ืœืžืžื“ื™ื ืขืฆื•ืžื™ื, ืžืชืขื•ื•ืช,
ืžืชื ืคื—, ื‘ื•ืœืข ื”ื›ืœ, ื•ืื–, ื”ื•ื ืื•ืžืจ...
07:52
It becomes fluffy, swallowing everything.
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07:54
And he says --
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ืœืื—ืจ ืžื›ืŸ ื”ื•ื ื™ืืžืจ: "ืจืื™ืชื™ ืืช ื”ืžืชื™ื, ืจืื™ืชื™ ืืช ืขืฆืžื™ ืžืช, ืื ื™ ืžืช."
07:58
later he will say, "I saw death.
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08:00
I saw myself dead, therefore I'm dead."
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ื•ืžืื•ืชื• ืจื’ืข, ื”ื•ื ื™ื•ื“ืข ืฉื”ื•ื ืžืช.
08:03
And from then on, he knows he is dead.
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ื–ื• ืื™ื ื” ืชื—ื•ืฉื”, ื•ื”ื•ื ืžืฉื•ื›ื ืข ืฉื”ื•ื ืžืช.
08:07
It is not a perception -- he is convinced that he is dead.
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ื•ื”ืจื•ื‘ื” ื”ื–ื”, ื‘ืื•ืชื• ืจื’ืข, ืžื™ืฉื”ื• ืžื’ื™ืข, ื•ืื—ืจ ื”ื•ืœืš.
08:12
In reality, someone came in, the guy left or didn't shoot, whatever,
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08:15
and he didn't actually get shot --
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ืœื ื™ื•ืจื”, ืœื ืžืฉื ื” ืžื”, ื”ื•ื ืžืช ื‘ืื•ืชื• ืจื’ืข.
08:17
but to him, he died in that moment.
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ื–ื” ื’ื ื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ืฆื—ื ื” ืฉืœ ื’ื•ืคื•ืช.
08:19
Or it can be the smell of a mass grave --
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ืจืื™ืชื™ ื”ืจื‘ื” ื‘ืจื•ืื ื“ื”.
08:21
I saw a lot of that in Rwanda.
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ื–ื” ื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ืงื•ืœ ืฉืœ ื—ื‘ืจ ืฉืงื•ืจื,
08:23
It can be the voice of a friend calling,
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08:27
and they're being slaughtered and there's nothing you can do.
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ืชื•ืš ื›ื“ื™ ืฉื ืจืฆื—, ื•ืฉืœื ื ื™ืชืŸ ืœืขืฉื•ืช ืขื‘ื•ืจื• ืฉื•ื ื“ื‘ืจ.
08:30
You hear that voice,
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ืฉื•ืžืขื™ื ืืช ื”ืงื•ืœ ื”ื–ื”. ื•ื›ืš, ื›ืœ ืœื™ืœื” ื‘ืžืฉืš ืฉื‘ื•ืขื•ืช,
08:32
and you wake up every night -- for weeks, months --
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ื—ื•ื“ืฉื™ื, ื”ืื™ืฉ ื™ืชืขื•ืจืจ.
08:37
in a trance-like state, anxious and terrified,
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ื‘ื˜ืจืื ืก, ืคืื ื™ืงื”, ืื™ืžื”, ื›ืžื• ื™ืœื“ ืงื˜ืŸ,
08:40
like a child.
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08:41
I have seen men cry --
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ืจืื™ืชื™ ืื ืฉื™ื ื‘ื•ื›ื™ื, ืื‘ืœ ื›ืžื• ื™ืœื“ื™ื,
08:44
just like children --
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08:46
from seeing the same image.
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ื‘ืจืื•ืชื ืืช ืื•ืชื” ืชืžื•ื ื” ื‘ืžื•ื—ื
08:48
So having that image of horror in your brain,
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ืชืžื•ื ื” ื–ื• ืฉืœ ืื™ืžื”,
08:54
seeing the void of death --
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ืฉืœ ืื™ื ื•ืช ื”ืžื•ื•ืช,
08:56
that analogue of horror which is hiding something --
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ืฉื–ื” ืžืฉื”ื• ืฉืงื•ืจืื™ื ืœื• ืื ืœื•ื’ื™ื”,
ื›ืœื•ืžืจ, ืชืžื•ื ื” ืฉืžืกืชื™ืจื” ืžืฉื”ื•,
09:00
will completely take over.
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ืชืฉืชืœื˜ ืขืœ ื”ื›ืœ.
09:01
You cannot do anything, anything at all.
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ื”ื•ื ื›ื‘ืจ ืœื ื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœืขืฉื•ืช ื›ืœื•ื. ืฉื•ื ื“ื‘ืจ ื‘ื›ืœืœ.
09:03
You cannot work anymore,
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ื”ื•ื ื›ื‘ืจ ืœื ื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœืขื‘ื•ื“, ื”ื•ื ืœื ื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœืื”ื•ื‘.
09:05
you cannot love anymore.
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09:06
You go home and don't recognize anyone.
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ื”ื•ื ื”ื•ืœืš ื”ื‘ื™ืชื”, ื”ื•ื ืœื ืžื–ื”ื” ืืฃ ืื—ื“. ื”ื•ื ืื™ื ื• ืžื›ื™ืจ ืืช ืขืฆืžื•.
09:08
You don't even recognize yourself.
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ื”ื•ื ืžืกืชืชืจ, ื”ื•ื ื ืฉืืจ ื‘ื‘ื™ืช, ื”ื•ื ื ื ืขืœ, ื ื”ื™ื” ื—ื•ืœื”. ื”ื›ืจืชื™ ื›ืืœื” ืฉื”ื ื™ื—ื•
09:13
You hide and don't leave the house, you lock yourself in, you become ill.
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09:16
I know people who placed small cans outside their house with coins inside,
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ืงื•ืคืกืื•ืช ืฉื™ืžื•ืจื™ื ืงื˜ื ื•ืช ื‘ื—ื•ืฅ
ืขื ืžื˜ื‘ืขื•ืช ื›ืกืฃ ืœืžืงืจื” ืฉืžื™ืฉื”ื• ื™ืขื‘ื•ืจ, ื™ื’ื™ืข.
09:21
in case someone tried to get in.
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ื•ืคืชืื•ื, ื”ื•ื ืจื•ืฆื” ืœืžื•ืช , ื”ื•ื ืจื•ืฆื” ืœื”ืจื•ื’.
09:23
All of a sudden, you feel like you want to die or kill
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09:25
or hide or run away.
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ื”ื•ื ืจื•ืฆื” ืœื”ืกืชืชืจ, ื”ื•ื ืจื•ืฆื” ืœื‘ืจื•ื—,
09:27
You want to be loved, but you hate everyone.
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ื”ื•ื ืจื•ืฆื” ืฉื™ืื”ื‘ื• ืื•ืชื•, ื”ื•ื ืฉื•ื ื ื’ื‘ืจื™ื,
09:29
It's a feeling that seizes you entirely
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ื•ืžืฉื”ื• ืžืฉืชืœื˜ ืขืœื™ื• ืžื‘ื•ืงืจ ืขื“ ืขืจื‘,
09:34
day in and day out,
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09:36
and you suffer tremendously.
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ื•ื”ื•ื ืกื•ื‘ืœ ื™ืกื•ืจื™ื.
09:41
And no one understands.
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ื•ื”ืื—ืจื™ื ืื™ื ื ืžื‘ื™ื ื™ื!
09:42
They say, "There's nothing wrong with you. You seem fine, you have no injuries.
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ื”ืื—ืจื™ื ืื•ืžืจื™ื ืœื•: "ืื‘ืœ ืื™ืŸ ืœืš ื›ืœื•ื! ืืชื” ื‘ืกื“ืจ,
ืื™ืŸ ืœืš ืคืฆื™ืขื•ืช, ื™ืฆืืช ืœืžืœื—ืžื”, ื—ื–ืจืช, ืื™ืŸ ืœืš ื›ืœื•ื."
09:46
You went to war, came back; you're fine."
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ื•ื”ืื ืฉื™ื ื”ืืœื” ืกื•ื‘ืœื™ื ื›ืžืจื˜ื™ืจื™ื ื•ืื—ื“ื™ื ืžืชืื‘ื“ื™ื:
09:50
These people suffer tremendously.
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09:52
Some commit suicide.
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ืื—ืจื™ ื”ื›ืœ, ืœื”ืชืื‘ื“ ื–ื” ืœืฉื™ื ืืช ืขืœ ื”ืฉื•ืœื—ืŸ ืืช ืกื“ืจ ื”ื™ื•ื ืฉืœื• ืขื“ ื›ื”,
09:54
After all, suicide is like updating your daily planner --
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09:56
I'm already dead, I might as well commit suicide.
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ืžืคื ื™ ืฉืื ื™ ื›ื‘ืจ ืžืช,
ืื ืื ื™ ืžืชืื‘ื“, ื˜ื•ื‘. ื•ื‘ื ื•ืกืฃ ืื™ืŸ ื™ื•ืชืจ ื›ืื‘
09:59
Plus, there is no more pain.
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ืื—ื“ื™ื ืžืชืื‘ื“ื™ื.
10:01
Some commit suicide, others end up under the bridge, drinking.
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ืื—ื“ื™ื ืžืกื™ื™ืžื™ื ืžืชื—ืช ืœื’ืฉืจ,
ืžืชืžื›ืจื™ื ืœืฉืชื™ื™ื”...
ืœื›ื•ืœื›ื ื™ืฉ ื‘ื–ื™ื›ืจื•ื ื•ืช ืฉืœื›ื ื”ืกื™ืคื•ืจ ืฉืœ ื”ืกื‘ื ื”ื–ื”, ืฉืœ ื”ื“ื•ื“ ื”ื–ื”,
10:05
Everyone remembers that grandfather or uncle or neighbor
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ืฉืœ ื”ืฉื›ืŸ ืฉืฉืชื”, ื•ืœื ืืžืจ ื“ื‘ืจ,
10:09
who used to drink, never said a word,
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10:11
always in a bad mood, beat his wife
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ืฉื”ื™ื” ืจื’ื–ืŸ, ืฉื”ื™ื›ื” ืืช ืืฉืชื•
10:13
and who would end up either sinking into alcoholism or dying.
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ื•ืฉื—ื™ื™ื• ื”ืกืชื™ื™ืžื• ื‘ื”ืชืžื›ืจื•ืช ืœืฉืชื™ื™ื” ืื• ื‘ืžื•ื•ืช.
10:17
And why do we not talk about this?
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ื•ื”ื ืœื ืžื“ื‘ืจื™ื, ืœืžื”? ืœื ืžื“ื‘ืจื™ื ืขืœ ื–ื”, ืœืžื”?
10:20
We don't talk about it because it's taboo.
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ื›ื™ ื–ื” ื˜ืื‘ื•! ืื™ ืืคืฉืจ ืœื“ื‘ืจ,
10:24
It's not like we don't have the words to express the void of death.
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ืœืื“ื ืื™ืŸ ืžื™ืœื™ื ื›ื“ื™ ืœื“ื‘ืจ ืขืœ ื”ืื™ื ื•ืช ืฉืœ ื”ืžื•ื•ืช.
10:27
But others don't want hear it.
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ืื‘ืœ ื”ืื—ืจื™ื ืœื ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื ืœืฉืžื•ืข!
10:29
The first time I returned from an assignment,
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ืื ื™, ื›ืฉื—ื–ืจืชื™ ืœืื—ืจ ืกื™ื•ื ื”ื›ืชื‘ื”,
ืœืจืืฉื•ื ื” ืฉื ืืžืจ ืœื™"ืื”! ื”ื•ื ื—ื–ืจ ืœื“ื•ื•ื—! "
10:31
They said, "Oh! He's back."
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10:33
There was a fancy dinner -- white tablecloth, candles, guests.
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ื”ื™ื™ืชื” ืืจื•ื—ืช ืขืจื‘, ืžืคื” ืœื‘ื ื” ื™ืคื”,
ื ืจื•ืช, ืžื•ื–ืžื ื™ื,
10:36
"Tell us everything!"
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"ื˜ื•ื‘, ืกืคืจ ืœื ื•, ืกื™ืคืจืชื™.
10:37
Which I did.
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ืœืื—ืจ 20 ื“ืงื•ืช ื›ื•ืœื ื”ื‘ื™ื˜ื• ื‘ื™ ื‘ืขื™ื ื™ื™ื ืขืงื•ืžื•ืช,
10:40
After 20 minutes, people were giving me dirty looks,
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10:42
the hostess had her nose in the ashtray.
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ื”ืžืืจื—ืช ื™ืฉื‘ื” ืขื ื”ืืฃ ื‘ืžืืคืจื”
10:44
It was horrible and I realized I ruined the whole evening.
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ื‘ืกื•ืคื• ืฉืœ ื“ื‘ืจ ื–ื” ื”ื™ื” ืกื™ื•ื˜,
ื•ื”ื‘ื ืชื™ ืฉื”ืจืกืชื™ ืืช ื”ืขืจื‘.
10:47
So I don't talk about it anymore.
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ืื– ื›ืขืช, ืื ื™ ืœื ืžืกืคืจ ื™ื•ืชืจ, ืื‘ืœ ืื ื—ื ื• ืœื ืžื•ื›ื ื™ื ืœืฉืžื•ืข ืืช ื–ื”,
10:49
We're just not ready to listen.
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10:51
People say outright: "Please, stop."
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ืื•ืžืจื™ื, "ืื” ืชืคืกื™ืงI"
10:52
Is that a rare occurrence?
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ื”ืื ื–ื” ื‘ืžืงืจื™ื ืžืกื•ื™ืžื™ื? ืœื. ื–ื” ืžืื•ื“ ื ืคื•ืฅ!
10:54
No, it's extremely common.
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10:57
One third of the soldiers who died in Iraq --
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ืฉืœื™ืฉ ืžื”ื—ื™ื™ืœื™ื ืžืชื™ื ื‘ืขื™ืจืืง... ืื”, ืžืชื•, ืกื™ืœื—ื• ืขืœ ื”ืžืขื™ื“ื”
10:59
well, not "died," let me re-phrase that --
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11:02
one third of the US soldiers who went to Iraq
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ืฉืœื™ืฉ ืžื”ื—ื™ื™ืœื™ื ืขื™ืจืืงื™ื, ืืžืจื™ืงื ื™ื ื‘ืขื™ืจืืง, ืกื•ื‘ืœื™ื ืžPTSD.
11:05
suffer from PTSD.
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11:06
In 1939, there were still 200,000 soldiers from the First World War
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ื‘ืฉื ืช 1939, ื”ื™ื• ืขื“ื™ื™ืŸ ื‘ื‘ืชื™ ื—ื•ืœื™ื ืคืกื™ื›ื™ืื˜ืจื™ื™ื ืื ื’ืœื™ื
200,000 ื—ื™ื™ืœื™ื ืžืžืœื—ืžืช ื”ืขื•ืœื ื”ืจืืฉื•ื ื”.
11:12
that were being treated in British psychiatric hospitals.
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ื‘ื•ื•ื™ื™ื˜ื ืื, ื”ื™ื• 54000 ืžืงืจื™ ืžื•ื•ืช. ืืžืจื™ืงืื™ื.
11:17
In Vietnam, 54,000 people died --
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11:19
Americans.
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11:20
In 1987, the US government identified 102,000 --
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ื‘ืฉื ืช 87, ืžืžืฉืœืช ืืจื”"ื‘ ืกืคืจื• 102,000 - ืคื™ ืฉื ื™ื™ื.
11:25
twice as many --
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11:26
102,000 veterans who died from committing suicide.
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102,000 ื”ืชืื‘ื“ื•ื™ื•ืช ืฉืœ ื™ื•ืฆืื™ ืฆื‘ื ื•ืชื™ืงื™ื.
11:28
Twice as many deaths by suicide than by combat in Vietnam.
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ืคื™ ืฉื ื™ื™ื ืžืชื™ื ืžืืœื” ืฉื ืœื—ืžื• ื‘ื•ื•ื™ื˜ื ืื.
11:31
So you see, this relates to everything,
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ืื– ืืชื ืžื‘ื™ื ื™ื ืฉืžื“ื•ื‘ืจ ื‘ืžืฉื”ื• ืฉืžื›ืกื” ื”ื›ืœ!
11:34
not just modern warfare, but also ancient wars --
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ืœื ืจืง ื”ืžืœื—ืžื•ืช ื”ืžื•ื“ืจื ื™ื•ืช, ื”ืžืœื—ืžื•ืช ื”ื™ืฉื ื•ืช,
11:37
you can read about it, the evidence is there.
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ืžื•ืฆืื™ื ืื•ืชื ื‘ื˜ืงืกื˜ื™ื ืขืชื™ืงื™ื, ืžืกืคืจื™ื ืขืœื™ื”ื, ื–ื” ื ืืžืจ,
11:40
So why do we not talk about it?
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ืœืžื” ืื ื—ื ื• ืœื ืžื“ื‘ืจื™ื?
11:42
Why have we not talked about it?
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ืœืžื” ืื ื—ื ื• ืœื ืžื“ื‘ืจื™ื? ืžื›ื™ื•ื•ืŸ ืฉื”ื‘ืขื™ื”,
11:45
The problem is that if you don't talk about it,
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ื”ื™ื ืฉืื ื”ืื™ืฉ ื”ื–ื” ืœื ืžื“ื‘ืจ, ื–ื” ืžื•ื‘ื™ืœ ืœืืกื•ืŸ.
11:50
you're heading for disaster.
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ืขื›ืฉื™ื•, ื”ื“ืจืš ื”ื™ื—ื™ื“ื” ืœืจืคื,
11:53
The only way to heal --
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11:56
and the good news here is that this is treatable --
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ื›ื™ ื”ื—ื“ืฉื•ืช ื”ื˜ื•ื‘ื•ืช ื”ืŸ ืฉื”ื“ื‘ืจ ื ื™ืชืŸ ืœื˜ื™ืคื•ืœ:
12:00
think Munch's The Scream, Goya, etc. --
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ื”ืฆืขืงื” ืฉืœ ืžื•ื ืง, ื’ื•ื™ื”, ื•ื›ื• ' ื›ืŸ, ื”ื™ื ื ื™ืชื ืช ืœื˜ื™ืคื•ืœ!
12:02
it's indeed treatable.
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ื”ื“ืจืš ื”ื™ื—ื™ื“ื” ืœืจืคื ืืช ื”ื˜ืจืื•ืžื” ื”ื–ืืช,
12:04
The only way to heal from this trauma,
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12:08
from this encounter with death that overwhelms, petrifies and kills you
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ื”ืžืคื’ืฉ ื”ื–ื” ืขื ื”ืžื•ื•ืช, ืฉืžื“ื”ื™ื ืืชื›ื, ืฉืžืงืคื™ื , ืฉื”ื•ืจื’ ืื•ืชื›ื,
12:13
is to find a way to express it.
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ื–ื” ืœื”ื’ื™ืข ืœื“ื‘ืจ ืขืœ ื–ื”.
12:18
People used to say,
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ืžื™ืฉื”ื• ืืžืจ, ื”ืงื“ืžื•ื ื™ื ืืžืจื•"
12:20
"Language is the only thing that holds all of us together."
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"ื”ืฉืคื” ื”ื™ื ื”ื“ื‘ืจ ืฉืžื—ื–ื™ืง ืืช ื›ื•ืœื ื• ื‘ื™ื—ื“"
12:23
Without language, we're nothing.
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ื‘ืœื™ ืฉืคื” ืื ื—ื ื• ืฉื•ื ื“ื‘ืจ
12:26
It's the thing that makes us human.
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ื”ื•ื“ื•ืช ืœื›ืš ืื ื—ื ื• ืื ื•ืฉื™ื™ื.
12:28
In the face of such a horrible image --
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ืืœ ืžื•ืœ ืชืžื•ื ื” ื–ื• ืฉืœ ื–ื•ื•ืขื”,
12:30
a wordless image of oblivion that obsesses us --
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ืฉืื™ืŸ ืœื” ืžื™ืœื™ื,
ื›ื™ ื–ื” ื“ื™ืžื•ื™ ืฉืœ ืื™ื ื•ืช, ืฉืžื˜ืจื™ื“ ืื•ืชื ื•,
12:36
the only way to cope with it
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ื”ื“ืจืš ื”ื™ื—ื™ื“ื” ืœืฆืืช ืžื–ื”,
ื”ื™ื ืœืชืช ืœื–ื” ืžื™ืœื™ื ืื ื•ืฉื™ื•ืช .
12:40
is to put human words to it.
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ื›ื™ ืื ืฉื™ื ืืœื” ืžืจื’ื™ืฉื™ื ืžื—ื•ืฅ ืœืื ื•ืฉื•ืช: ืœื ืจื•ืฆื™ื ื™ื•ืชืจ ืœืจืื•ืชื
12:42
Because these people feel excluded from humanity.
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12:44
No one wants to see them anymore and they don't want to see anyone.
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ื•ื”ื, ื”ื ืœื ืจื•ืฆื™ื ื™ื•ืชืจ ืœืจืื•ืช ืืฃ ืื—ื“.
12:47
They feel dirty, defiled, ashamed.
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ื”ื ืžืจื’ื™ืฉื™ื ืžืœื•ื›ืœื›ื™ื, ื˜ืžืื™ื, ืžื‘ื•ื™ืฉื™ื.
12:50
Someone said, "Doctor, I don't use the subway anymore
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ืžื™ืฉื”ื• ืืžืจ: "ืื ื™, ืืชื” ื™ื•ื“ืข, ืจื•ืคื,
ืœื ื ื•ืกืข ื™ื•ืชืจ ื‘ืจื›ื‘ืช ื”ืชื—ืชื™ืช
12:53
because I'm afraid people will see the horror in my eyes."
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ื›ื™ ืื ื™ ืคื•ื—ื“ ืฉื”ืื ืฉื™ื ืจื•ืื™ื ืืช ื›ืœ ื”ื–ื•ื•ืขื” ืฉื™ืฉ ืœื™ ื‘ืชื•ื›ื™
12:56
Another guy thought he had a terrible skin disease
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ื‘ืขื™ื ื™ื™ื ืฉืœื™."
ืื—ืจ ืืžืจ... --
ื”ื™ืชื” ืœื• ืžื—ืœืช ืขื•ืจ ื ื•ืจืื”, ื”ื•ื ื‘ื™ืœื” 6 ื—ื•ื“ืฉื™ื ื‘ืžื—ืœืงื” ื“ืจืžื˜ื•ืœื•ื’ื™ืช
12:59
and spent six months with dermatologists, going from doctor to doctor.
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ื”ืขื‘ื™ืจื• ืื•ืชื• ืžืจื•ืคื ืœืจื•ืคื ื•ืœื‘ืกื•ืฃ ื™ื•ื ืื—ื“ ืืžืจื•:
13:03
And then one day, they sent him to a psychiatrist.
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"ืฉื”ื•ื ืฆืจื™ืš ืœืจืื•ืช ืคืกื™ื›ื™ืื˜ืจ."
13:06
During his second session, he told the psychiatrist
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ื•ื”ื•ื ืืžืจ ืœืคืกื™ื›ื™ืื˜ืจ ื‘ืคื’ื™ืฉื” ื”ืฉื ื™ื™ื”
(ื”ื™ื™ืชื” ืœื• ืžื—ืœืช ืขื•ืจ ื ื•ืจืื” ืžื›ืฃ ืจื’ืœ ื•ืขื“ ืจืืฉ)
13:08
he had a terrible skin disease from head to toe.
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13:10
The psychiatrist asked, "Why are you in this state?"
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ื”ื•ื ืืžืจ: " ืื‘ืœ ืœืžื” ืืชื” ื‘ืžืฆื‘ ื›ื–ื”?"
13:13
And the man said, "Well, because I'm dead, so I must be rotting away."
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ื•ื”ืื™ืฉ ืขื ื”,"ื‘ื’ืœืœ ืฉืื ื™ ืžืช ืื ื™ ื ืจืงื‘."
13:17
So you see this is something that has a profound effect on people.
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ืื– ืืชื ืจื•ืื™ื, ื–ื” ืžืฉื”ื• ืฉื™ืฉ ืœื• ื”ืฉืคืขื” ืงืฉื” ืžืื•ื“ ืขืœ ืื ืฉื™ื.
13:21
In order to heal, we need to talk about it.
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ื›ื“ื™ ืœืจืคื, ืฆืจื™ืš ืœื“ื‘ืจ ืขืœ ื–ื”. ืฆืจื™ืš ืœืชืืจ ืืช ื”ื–ื•ื•ืขื” ื‘ืžื™ืœื™ื,
13:24
The horror needs to be put into words --
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ืžื™ืœื™ื ืื ื•ืฉื™ื•ืช ืฉื™ืขื–ืจื• ืœืฉืงื, ืœื“ื‘ืจ ืขืœ ื–ื”
13:28
human words, so we can organize it and talk about it again.
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13:32
We have to look death in the face.
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ืฆืจื™ืš ืœื”ืกืชื›ืœ ืœืžื•ื•ืช ื‘ืคื ื™ื.
ื•ืื ืžืฆืœื™ื—ื™ื ืœืขืฉื•ืช ื–ืืช, ืื ืžื“ื‘ืจื™ื ืขืœ ื”ื“ื‘ืจื™ื ื”ืืœื”,
13:37
And if we can do that, if we can talk about these things,
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13:42
then step by step, by working it out verbally,
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ื‘ืื•ืชื• ื–ืžืŸ, ื˜ื™ืคื™ืŸ ื˜ื™ืคื™ืŸ ืขื ืขื‘ื•ื“ื” ืžื™ืœื•ืœื™ืช,
13:45
we can reclaim our place in humanity.
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ื ื•ื›ืœ ืœืฉืงื ืืช ื—ืœืงื ื• ื‘ืื ื•ืฉื•ืช ืฉืœื ื•.
13:49
And it is important.
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ื•ื–ื” ื—ืฉื•ื‘! ื”ืฉืชื™ืงื” ื”ื•ืจื’ืช ืื•ืชื ื•!
13:50
Silence kills us.
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13:53
So what does this mean?
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ืžื” ื–ื” ืื•ืžืจ? ื–ื” ืื•ืžืจ ืฉืื ืื—ืจ ื›ืš,
13:55
It means that after a trauma,
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ืื”, ื›ืžื•ื‘ืŸ, ืื™ื‘ื“ื ื• ืืช ื”ืงืœื•ืช ื”ื‘ืœืชื™ ื ืกื‘ืœืช ืฉืœื ื• ืœื”ื™ื•ืช,
13:57
without question, we lose our "unbearable lightness of being,"
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14:00
that sense of immortality that keeps us here --
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ืื™ื‘ื“ื ื• ืืช ืชื—ื•ืฉืช ื”ื ืฆื— ืฉืœื ื• ืฉืžื—ื–ื™ืงื” ืื•ืชื ื• ื›ืืŸ
14:03
meaning, if we're here, we almost feel like we're immortal, which we're not,
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ืื ืืชื ื ืžืฆืื™ื ืฉื , ื–ื” ื›ื™ ืืชื ืžืจื’ื™ืฉื™ื
ืžืฉื•ื›ื ืขื™ื ืฉืืชื ื ืฆื—ื™ื™ื! ืืชื ืœื
14:07
but if we didn't believe that, we'd say, "What's the point of it all?"
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ืื—ืจืช ืœื ื”ื™ื™ืชื ืฉื, ืื•ืžืจื™ื ืœืขืฆืžื›ื ืžื” ื”ื˜ืขื ื‘ื›ืœ ื–ื”?
ื•ื”ื ืื™ื‘ื“ื• ืืช ืชื—ื•ืฉืช ื”ื ืฆื—ื™ื•ืช.
14:11
But trauma survivors have lost that feeling of immortality.
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14:13
They've lost their lightness.
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ื”ื ืื™ื‘ื“ื• ืืช ื”ืขืœื™ื–ื•ืช ืฉืœื”ื, ืื‘ืœ ื”ื ืžืฆืื• ืžืฉื”ื• ืื—ืจ!
14:15
But they have found something else.
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ื–ื” ืื•ืžืจ ืฉืื ืื ื—ื ื• ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื ืœื”ืกืชื›ืœ ืœืžื•ื•ืช ื‘ืคื ื™ื,
14:17
So this means that if we manage to look death in the face,
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14:21
and actually confront it, rather than keep quiet and hide,
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ื•ืœื”ืชืขืžืช ืืชื• ื‘ืžืงื•ื ืœืฉืชื•ืง ื•ืœื”ืกืชืชืจ,
14:26
like some of the men or women I know did,
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ื™ืฉ ื’ื‘ืจื™ื ื•ื ืฉื™ื ืฉืื ื™ ืžื›ื™ืจ -- ืžื™ื›ืืœ ืžืจื•ืื ื“ื”,
14:28
such as Michael from Rwanda, Carole from Iraq, Philippe from the Congo
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ืงืจื•ืœ ืžืขื™ืจืืง, ืคื™ืœื™ืค ืžืงื•ื ื’ื•, ื›ืœ ื”ืื ืฉื™ื ื”ืืœื” ืฉื”ื™ื›ืจืชื™,
14:35
and other people I know,
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14:36
like Sorj Chalandon, now a great writer,
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ืกื•ืจื’' ืฆ'ืืœื ื“ื•ืŸ, ืฉื”ื• ืกื•ืคืจ ื’ื“ื•ืœ ืขื›ืฉื™ื•
14:39
who gave up field assignments after a trauma.
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ื•ืฉืขื–ื‘ ืืช ื”ืขื™ืชื•ื ื•ืช ืœืื—ืจ ื”ื˜ืจืื•ืžื”.
14:41
Five friends of mine committed suicide,
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ื™ืฉ ืœื™ 4 ืื• 5 ื—ื‘ืจื™ื ืฉื”ืชืื‘ื“ื•,
14:43
they're the ones who did not survive the trauma.
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ืฉืœื ืฉืจื“ื• ืœืื—ืจ ื”ื˜ืจืื•ืžื”.
14:46
So if we can look death in the face,
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ื•ื‘ื›ืŸ, ืื ื ื•ื›ืœ ืœื”ืชื™ื™ืฆื‘ ืืœ ืžื•ืœ ืคื ื™ ื”ืžื•ื•ืช,
14:51
if we, mortal humans, human mortals,
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ืื ืื ื• ื‘ื ื™ ืื“ื, ื‘ื ื™ ืชืžื•ืชื”
14:54
understand that we are human and mortal, mortal and human,
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ื™ื•ื“ืขื™ื ืื™ืคื•ื ืื ื—ื ื• ืื ื•ืฉื™ื™ื ื•ื‘ื ื™ ืชืžื•ืชื”, ื‘ื ื™ ืชืžื•ืชื” ื•ืื ื•ืฉื™ื™ื,
14:57
if we can confront death and identify it once again
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ืื ื ืฆืœื™ื— ืœื”ืชืขืžืช ื•ืœืฉื™ื ืขืœื™ื” ืืช ื”ื“ื‘ืจ ื”ื–ื”
15:03
as the most mysterious place of all mysterious places,
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ืฉื”ื•ื ื”ืืจืฅ ื”ื›ื™ ืœื ื ื•ื“ืขืช ืžื‘ื™ืŸ ื”ืืจืฆื•ืช ื”ืœื ื ื•ื“ืขื•ืช,
ื›ื™ ืืฃ ืื—ื“ ืœื ืจืื” ืื•ืชื” ืžืขื•ืœื.
15:07
since no one has ever seen it --
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ืื ื ื•ื›ืœ ืœื”ืฉื™ื‘ ืœื” ืืช ื”ื“ื‘ืจื™ื ื”ืืœื”,
15:10
if we can give it back this meaning,
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15:12
yes, we may die,
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ื›ืŸ, ืื ื• ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื ืœืžื•ืช, ืœืฉืจื•ื“ ื•ืœืฉื•ื‘ ืœื—ื™ื•ืช.
15:17
survive
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15:20
and come back to life,
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15:21
but we'll come back stronger than before.
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ืื‘ืœ ื—ื–ืงื™ื ื™ื•ืชืจ, ื—ื–ืงื™ื ื™ื•ืชืจ ืžืงื•ื“ื, ื”ืจื‘ื” ื™ื•ืชืจ ื—ื–ืงื™ื.
15:24
Much stronger.
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15:25
Thank you.
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ืชื•ื“ื”.
(ืชืฉื•ืื•ืช)
15:27
(Applause)
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ืขืœ ืืชืจ ื–ื”

ืืชืจ ื–ื” ื™ืฆื™ื’ ื‘ืคื ื™ื›ื ืกืจื˜ื•ื ื™ YouTube ื”ืžื•ืขื™ืœื™ื ืœืœื™ืžื•ื“ ืื ื’ืœื™ืช. ืชื•ื›ืœื• ืœืจืื•ืช ืฉื™ืขื•ืจื™ ืื ื’ืœื™ืช ื”ืžื•ืขื‘ืจื™ื ืขืœ ื™ื“ื™ ืžื•ืจื™ื ืžื”ืฉื•ืจื” ื”ืจืืฉื•ื ื” ืžืจื—ื‘ื™ ื”ืขื•ืœื. ืœื—ืฅ ืคืขืžื™ื™ื ืขืœ ื”ื›ืชื•ื‘ื™ื•ืช ื‘ืื ื’ืœื™ืช ื”ืžื•ืฆื’ื•ืช ื‘ื›ืœ ื“ืฃ ื•ื™ื“ืื• ื›ื“ื™ ืœื”ืคืขื™ืœ ืืช ื”ืกืจื˜ื•ืŸ ืžืฉื. ื”ื›ืชื•ื‘ื™ื•ืช ื’ื•ืœืœื•ืช ื‘ืกื ื›ืจื•ืŸ ืขื ื”ืคืขืœืช ื”ื•ื•ื™ื“ืื•. ืื ื™ืฉ ืœืš ื”ืขืจื•ืช ืื• ื‘ืงืฉื•ืช, ืื ื ืฆื•ืจ ืื™ืชื ื• ืงืฉืจ ื‘ืืžืฆืขื•ืช ื˜ื•ืคืก ื™ืฆื™ืจืช ืงืฉืจ ื–ื”.

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