How I became part sea urchin | Catherine Mohr

Prevoditelj: Zeljka Ljubicic Beric Recezent: Sanda L

My story starts in the northern Galapagos Islands,

Moja priča započinje na sjeveru Galapagosa,

under 50 feet of water and a big school of sharks.

15 m ispod površine i velike skupine morskih pasa.

I'd been scuba diving with a group of friends for about a week,

Ronila sam s prijateljima tjedan dana

and it had been glorious:

i bilo je prekrasno:

manta rays, whale sharks,

mante, kitopsine,

penguins and, of course, hammerhead sharks.

pingvini i, naravno, morski psi čekićari.

Today's dive was particularly tricky.

Toga dana je ronjenje bilo posebno teško.

The surge was terrible.

Struja je bila snažna.

You had to have your camera rig tight in

Morao si fotoaparat čvrsto držati jednom rukom,

and your arm out,

drugu držati ispruženom,

because the surge kept throwing you into the rocks

jer te struja bacala prema stijenama,

dok gledaš kako ćeš napraviti savršenu fotografiju.

while you're scanning up for that beautiful photograph.

It was going OK, until ...

Sve je bilo u redu dok...

not OK.

nije prestalo biti.

Something was terribly, terribly wrong.

Nešto stvarno nije bilo u redu.

I pulled my hand back,

Povukla sam ruku,

and I had long, black sea urchin spines

a duge, crne bodlje morskog ježinca

all the way through my gloves,

virile su iz moje rukavice,

which meant all the way through my hand.

odnosno prolazile kroz cijelu moju šaku.

Now, this is bad.

To nije dobro.

I mean, obviously when you have something all the way through your hand,

Kada vam nešto prođe kroz šaku,

it's kind of bad anyway,

to je uvijek loše,

but in this case, sea urchins have a venom on them that,

ali u ovom slučaju, morski ježevi imaju otrov koji,

if you've ever tangled with them,

ako ste ikad imali posla s njima,

you know that a sea urchin spine in you gives you horrible, painful inflammation.

znate da vam njihove bodlje zadaju strašnu, bolnu upalu.

But that wasn't even topmost in my mind at this point.

No, to mi tada čak nije bilo toliko na pameti.

This did not look real.

Sve je izgledalo nestvarno.

I could not believe that this was my hand.

Nisam mogla vjerovati da je to moja šaka.

Now, in a crisis, I tend to disassociate into, like, little scientists,

U kriznim situacijama razmišljam poput znanstvenika

and I start talking very analytically.

i počnem analizirati.

All analysis was gone, adrenaline brain kicked in,

Sve analize su nestale, adrenalin je počeo djelovati

and I just yanked the spines out.

i samo sam istrgnula bodlje.

I don't remember doing it.

Uopće se ne sjećam da sam to napravila.

I just remember thinking, "I can't get my glove off with these in here."

Sjećam se da sam razmišljala, "Ne mogu skinuti rukavicu s bodljama u ruci."

I do remember taking the glove off

Sjećam se kako sam skinula rukavicu

and a big plume of black coming up in front of my face.

i veliki crni oblak krenuo je prema mom licu.

And biologist brain now shows up and starts freaking out.

Sada se javlja razmišljanje biologa koji počinje ludjeti.

"How could all that toxin have gotten into that wound already?"

"Kako je već toliko otrova uspjelo ući u ranu?"

Well, physicist brain then shows up and very calmly explains,

Tada se pojavljuje fizičar i smireno objašnjava,

"No, no, no, we're at 50 feet,

"Nalazimo se na 15 metara,

red wavelengths are attenuated.

crvena je slabije vidljiva.

That's blood -- not black.

To je krv - nije crna boja.

And sharks.

I morski psi.

So what are you gonna do?"

Što ćeš napraviti?"

Well, I cranked my cummerbund down really hard over my hand,

Pritisnula sam ronilački pojas čvrsto preko ruke

and I simply swam away.

i jednostavno otplivala.

"Let's let that big old cloud of blood dissipate a bit before we have to surface

"Neka se oblak krvi rasprši prije izrona

through all of these sharks."

kroz morske pse."

So when I did surface,

Kada sam izronila,

my warm-blooded-mammal brain

moj mozak sisavca je bio

was in an absolute gibbering panic:

u potpunoj panici:

"They don't feed when they're schooling. They don't feed when they're schooling.

"Ne hrane se kad su u skupinama.

All the way up."

Cijelim putem izrona."

And they didn't.

I nisu.

So apparently, they have read the same books that I have.

Čini se da su pročitali iste knjige kao i ja.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Now, it turns out,

Ispostavilo se,

when you've been stabbed with sea urchin spines,

ukoliko ste se naboli na morskog ježa

and you're two days away from any medical help,

i udaljeni ste dva dana od ikakve medicinske pomoći,

the thing that you've got to do is, unfortunately, cook your hand.

morate, nažalost, skuhati vlastitu šaku.

So you put it in water as hot as you can stand,

Stavite je u čim topliju vodu

and you keep adding boiling water

i dodajete kipuću vodu

until you think you will go absolutely insane.

dok ne pomislite da ćete poludjeti.

Now, it worked --

Upalilo je --

the hand itself did not work so well for several weeks after that,

šaka nije baš funkcionirala nekoliko tjedana nakon toga,

but eventually, fine motor skills returned.

ali s vremenom su se vratile fine motoričke sposobnosti.

All except for one spot, that stayed stiff and painful for weeks

Sve osim jednog mjesta koje je ostalo kruto i bolno,

after the other things had gotten better.

još tjednima nakon toga.

So it turned out, I'd broken off a tip of the urchin spine

Ispostavilo se da je vrh bodlje

in the joint itself,

ostao u samom zglobu

and that's why it wasn't getting better.

te stoga nije bilo poboljšanja.

So the orthopedist says, "You know, we should get this out.

Ortoped je rekao, "Znate, moramo to izvaditi.

Nothing too urgent, not an emergency."

Nije ništa hitno."

So we scheduled a small surgery for a few weeks out on a Monday.

Zakazali smo operaciju za ponedjeljak za nekoliko tjedana.

And on the Friday before,

U petak prije toga,

I broke my pelvis in a horseback riding accident.

slomila sam zdjelicu nakon pada s konja.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Yeah.

Tako je.

So we kind of postponed that surgery.

Pa smo odgodili operaciju.

My broken pelvis and I were now facing six weeks on the couch,

Moju slomljenu zdjelicu i mene sad je čekalo 6 tjedana ležanja

and I would have gone absolutely insane if it hadn't been for my friends.

i mislim da bih poludjela da nije bilo mojih prijatelja.

Spontaneous parties broke out at my house every night for weeks.

Spontane zabave su bile kod mene svake večeri.

I was fed. I was entertained.

Hranili su me. Zabavljali.

It was great.

Bilo je odlično.

But that kind of enthusiasm is sort of hard to sustain over the long term,

No, takav entuzijazam je teško održati duže vrijeme

and eventually it petered down to just one friend,

pa se s vremenom svelo na jednog prijatelja,

who would send me jokes during the day

koji bi mi slao šale tijekom dana

and come and keep me company in the evenings --

i dolazio me zabavljati navečer --

someone I got to know a whole lot better during this period of convalescence.

netko koga sam dobro upoznala tijekom razdoblja oporavka.

And when I was finally pronounced well enough

Kada sam konačno postala dovoljno zdrava

to do weight-bearing activities,

da mogu podizati teret,

we loaded a telescope in the car and drove up into the mountains

utovarili smo teleskop u auto i odvezli se u planine

to look at the Hale–Bopp comet.

gledati Hale-Boppov komet.

Yes, we are geeks.

Da, mi smo geekovi.

And got caught in a landslide.

Zatekli smo se na klizištu tla.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

I know -- like, really?

Znam, da, ono, stvarno?

No. Just kidding.

Ne. Samo se šalim.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

No more disasters. No. Just the opposite, in fact.

Nije više bilo nesreća. Zapravo, posve suprotno.

That was 21 years ago,

To je bilo prije 21 godinu,

and for 19 of those years,

od čega sam 19 godina udana

I have been married to that marvelous introvert

za tog predivnog introverta,

who never in a million years would have approached me

koji mi nikad ne bi pristupio

under other circumstances.

da su okolnosti bile drugačije.

We have a wonderful 14-year-old daughter,

Imamo predivnu 14-godišnju kćer,

who did all my illustrations.

koja je napravila sve ilustracije.

(Cheers and applause)

(Pljesak)

Yeah.

Da.

So, pro tip:

Dakle, profesionalni savjet:

apparently, nothing makes you sexier than needing a walker

ništa nije više seksi, nego štap za hodanje

on your first date.

na prvom spoju.

So this isn't a story about piercings

Ovo nije priča o ubodima,

or sharks or boilings or breakings.

morskim psima, kuhanju ili prekidima.

It's a love story.

Ovo je ljubavna priča.

It's a love story with a funny little epilogue.

Ljubavna priča sa smiješnim epilogom.

Now I was weight-bearing again, I could reschedule that surgery,

Sad kad sam opet mogla nositi teret, mogla sam zakazati operaciju

get the spine out.

i izvaditi bodlju.

But I didn't need it anymore.

Ali nije mi više bila potrebna.

Turns out, when you break a bone,

Ispostavilo se, kada slomite kost,

your body scavenges calcium from all the bones in your body --

vaše tijelo skuplja kalcij iz svih kostiju vašeg tijela --

and from the little sea urchin spine that you happen to have lodged

pa i iz bodlje morskog ježa koja se nalazila

in the joint of your finger.

u zglobu vašeg prsta.

So yes,

Dakle, da,

my pelvis is now part sea urchin.

moja zdjelica je sada djelomično morski ježinac.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

So to biology brain, physicist brain,

Mozgu biologa, mozgu fizičara,

adrenaline brain, warm-blooded-mammal brain,

adrenalinskom mozgu, mozgu sisavca,

I get to add "urchin brain,"

sada mogu dodati i "mozak morskog ježa",

with all of the superpowers that that confers.

sa svim moćima koje on donosi.

You don't need to worry, though:

Ali, ne trebate brinuti:

that I am not fully human is one of the things

to što nisam posve ljudsko biće,

moja obitelj na meni najviše voli.

that my family loves the most about me.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Thank you very much.

Puno hvala.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)