Are we sexual omnivores? | Christopher Ryan

395,098 views ใƒป 2014-02-20

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00:12
I'm going to go off script
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and make Chris quite nervous here
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by making this audience participation.
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All right. Are you with me? Yeah. Yeah. All right.
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So what I'd like to do is have you raise your hand
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if you've ever heard a heterosexual couple having sex.
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Could be the neighbors, hotel room,
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your parents. Sorry.
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Okay. Pretty much everybody.
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Now raise your hand if the man was making
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more noise than the woman.
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I see one guy there.
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It doesn't count if it was you, sir.
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(Laughter)
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So his hand's down. And one woman. Okay.
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Sitting next to a loud guy.
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Now what does this tell us?
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It tells us that human beings
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make noise when they have sex,
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and it's generally the woman who makes more noise.
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This is known as female copulatory vocalization
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to the clipboard crowd.
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I wasn't even going to mention this,
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but somebody told me that Meg Ryan might be here,
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and she is the world's most famous
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female copulatory vocalizer.
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So I thought, got to talk about that.
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We'll get back to that a little bit later.
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Let me start by saying human beings
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are not descended from apes,
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despite what you may have heard. We are apes.
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We are more closely related to the chimp and the bonobo
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than the African elephant is to the Indian elephant,
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as Jared Diamond pointed out in one of his early books.
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We're more closely related to chimps and bonobos
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than chimps and bonobos are related
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to any other primate --
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gorillas, orangutans, what have you.
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So we're extremely closely related to them,
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and as you'll see in terms of our behavior,
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we've got some relationship as well.
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So what I'm asking today, the question
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I want to explore with you today is,
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what kind of ape are we in terms of our sexuality?
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Now, since Darwin's day there's been
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what Cacilda and I have called
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the standard narrative of human sexual evolution,
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and you're all familiar with it,
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even if you haven't read this stuff.
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The idea is that, as part of human nature,
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from the beginning of our species' time,
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men have sort of leased women's reproductive potential
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by providing them with certain goods and services.
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Generally we're talking about meat, shelter, status,
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protection, things like that.
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And in exchange, women have offered fidelity,
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or at least a promise of fidelity.
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Now this sets men and women up in an oppositional relationship.
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The war between the sexes is built right into our DNA, according to this vision. Right?
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What Cacilda and I have argued is that no,
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this economic relationship,
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this oppositional relationship,
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is actually an artifact of agriculture,
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which only arose about 10,000 years ago at the earliest.
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Anatomically modern human beings
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have been around for about 200,000 years,
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so we're talking about five percent, at most,
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of our time as a modern, distinct species.
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So before agriculture,
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before the agricultural revolution,
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it's important to understand that human beings
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lived in hunter-gatherer groups that are
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characterized wherever they're found in the world
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by what anthropologists called fierce egalitarianism.
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They not only share things,
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they demand that things be shared:
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meat, shelter, protection, all these things
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that were supposedly being traded to women
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for their sexual fidelity, it turns out,
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are shared widely among these societies.
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Now I'm not saying that our ancestors
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were noble savages, and I'm not saying
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modern day hunter-gatherers are noble savages either.
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What I'm saying is that this is simply
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the best way to mitigate risk
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in a foraging context.
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And there's really no argument about this among anthropologists.
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All Cacilda and I have done is extend this sharing behavior to sexuality.
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So we've argued that human sexuality
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has essentially evolved, until agriculture,
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as a way of establishing and maintaining
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the complex, flexible social systems, networks,
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that our ancestors were very good at,
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and that's why our species has survived so well.
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Now, this makes some people uncomfortable,
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and so I always need to take a moment in these talks
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to say, listen,
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I'm saying our ancestors were promiscuous,
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but I'm not saying they were having sex with strangers.
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There were no strangers. Right?
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In a hunter-gatherer band, there are no strangers.
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You've known these people your entire life.
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So I'm saying, yes, there were overlapping sexual relationships,
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that our ancestors probably had several different sexual relationships
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going on at any given moment in their adult lives.
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But I'm not saying they were having sex with strangers.
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I'm not saying that they didn't love the people they were having sex with.
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And I'm not saying there was no pair-bonding going on.
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I'm just saying it wasn't sexually exclusive.
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And those of us who have chosen to be monogamous --
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my parents, for example, have been married
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for 52 years monogamously,
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and if it wasn't monogamously, Mom and Dad,
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I don't want to hear about itโ€”
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I'm not criticizing this and I'm not saying
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there's anything wrong with this.
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What I'm saying is that to argue
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that our ancestors were sexual omnivores
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is no more a criticism of monogamy
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than to argue that our ancestors were dietary omnivores
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is a criticism of vegetarianism.
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You can choose to be a vegetarian,
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but don't think that just because you've made that decision,
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bacon suddenly stops smelling good.
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Okay? So this is my point.
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(Laughter)
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That one took a minute to sink in, huh?
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Now, in addition to being a great genius,
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a wonderful man, a wonderful husband,
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a wonderful father, Charles Darwin
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was also a world-class Victorian prude.
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All right? He was perplexed
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by the sexual swellings of certain primates,
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including chimps and bonobos,
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because these sexual swellings tend to provoke
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many males to mate with the females.
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So he couldn't understand why on Earth would the female have developed this thing
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if all they were supposed to be doing is forming their pair bond, right?
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Chimps and bonobos, Darwin didn't really know this,
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but chimps and bonobos mate
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one to four times per hour
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with up to a dozen males per day
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when they have their sexual swellings.
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Interestingly, chimps have sexual swellings
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through 40 percent, roughly,
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of their menstrual cycle,
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bonobos 90 percent,
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and humans are among the only species on the planet
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where the female is available for sex
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throughout the menstrual cycle,
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whether she's menstruating, whether she's post-menopausal,
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whether she's already pregnant.
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This is vanishingly rare among mammals.
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So it's a very interesting aspect of human sexuality.
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Now, Darwin ignored the reflections
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of the sexual swelling in his own day,
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as scientists tend to do sometimes.
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So what we're talking about is sperm competition.
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Now the average human ejaculate has about 300 million sperm cells,
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so it's already a competitive environment.
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The question is whether these sperm are competing against other men's sperm
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or just their own.
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There's a lot to talk about in this chart.
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The one thing I'll call your attention to right away
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is the little musical note above the female chimp and bonobo and human.
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That indicates female copulatory vocalization.
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Just look at the numbers.
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The average human has sex
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about 1,000 times per birth.
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If that number seems high for some of you,
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I assure you it seems low for others in the room.
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We share that ratio with chimps and bonobos.
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We don't share it with the other three apes,
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the gorilla, the orangutan and the gibbon,
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who are more typical of mammals,
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having sex only about a dozen times per birth.
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Humans and bonobos are the only animals that have sex face-to-face
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when both of them are alive.
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(Laughter)
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And you'll see that the human, chimp and bonobo
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all have external testicles, which in our book
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we equate to a special fridge you have in the garage
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just for beer.
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If you're the kind of guy who has a beer fridge
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in the garage, you expect a party to happen
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at any moment, and you need to be ready.
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That's what the external testicles are.
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They keep the sperm cells cool
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so you can have frequent ejaculations.
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I'm sorry. It's true.
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The human, some of you will be happy to hear,
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has the largest, thickest penis of any primate.
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Now, this evidence goes way beyond anatomy.
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It goes into anthropology as well.
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Historical records are full of accounts of people
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around the world who have sexual practices
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that should be impossible
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given what we have assumed about human sexual evolution.
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These women are the Mosuo from southwestern China.
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In their society, everyone, men and women,
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are completely sexually autonomous.
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There's no shame associated with sexual behavior.
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Women have hundreds of partners.
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It doesn't matter. Nobody cares. Nobody gossips. It's not an issue.
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When the woman becomes pregnant,
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the child is cared for by her, her sisters, and her brothers.
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The biological father is a nonissue.
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On the other side of the planet, in the Amazon,
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we've got many tribes which practice
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what anthropologists call partible paternity.
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These people actually believe --
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and they have no contact among them,
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no common language or anything,
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so it's not an idea that spread,
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it's an idea that's arisen around the world --
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they believe that a fetus is literally made
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of accumulated semen.
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So a woman who wants to have a child
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who's smart and funny and strong
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makes sure she has lots of sex with the smart guy,
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the funny guy and the strong guy,
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to get the essence of each of these men into the baby,
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and then when the child is born,
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these different men will come forward
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and acknowledge their paternity of the child.
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So paternity is actually sort of a team endeavor
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in this society.
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So there are all sorts of examples like this
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that we go through in the book.
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Now, why does this matter?
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Edward Wilson says we need to understand
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that human sexuality is first a bonding device
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and only secondarily procreation.
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I think that's true. This matters because
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our evolved sexuality is in direct conflict
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with many aspects of the modern world.
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The contradictions between what we're told
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we should feel and what we actually do feel
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generates a huge amount of unnecessary suffering.
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My hope is that a more accurate,
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updated understanding of human sexuality
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will lead us to have greater tolerance for ourselves,
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for each other,
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greater respect for unconventional relationship configurations
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like same-sex marriage or polyamorous unions,
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and that we'll finally put to rest the idea
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that men have some innate, instinctive right
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to monitor and control women's sexual behavior.
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(Applause)
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Thank you.
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And we'll see that it's not only gay people
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that have to come out of the closet.
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We all have closets we have to come out of. Right?
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And when we do come out of those closets,
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we'll recognize that our fight is not with each other,
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our fight is with an outdated, Victorian sense of human sexuality
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that conflates desire with property rights,
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generates shame and confusion
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in place of understanding and empathy.
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It's time we moved beyond Mars and Venus,
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because the truth is
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that men are from Africa
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and women are from Africa.
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Thank you.
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(Applause)
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Chris Anderson: Thank you. Christopher Ryan: Thank you.
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CA: So a question.
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It's so perplexing, trying to use arguments
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about evolutionary history
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to turn that into what we ought to do today.
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Someone could give a talk and say,
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look at us, we've got these really sharp teeth
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and muscles and a brain that's really good
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at throwing weapons,
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and if you look at lots of societies around the world,
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you'll see very high rates of violence.
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Nonviolence is a choice like vegetarianism,
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but it's not who you are.
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How is that different
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from the talk you gave?
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CR: Well first of all, the evidence
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for high levels of violence in prehistory
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is very debatable.
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But that's just an example.
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Certainly, you know, lots of people say to me,
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just because we lived a certain way in the past
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doesn't mean we should live that way now, and I agree with that.
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Everyone has to respond to the modern world.
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But the body does have its inherent
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evolved trajectories.
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And so you could live on McDonald's and milkshakes,
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but your body will rebel against that. We have appetites.
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I think it was Schopenhauer who said,
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a person can do what they want
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but not want what they want.
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And so what I'm arguing against
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is the shame that's associated with desires.
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It's the idea that if you love your husband or wife
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but you still are attracted to other people,
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there's something wrong with you,
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there's something wrong with your marriage,
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something wrong with your partner.
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I think a lot of families are fractured
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by unrealistic expectations
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that are based upon this false vision of human sexuality.
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That's what I'm trying to get at.
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CA: Thank you. Communicated powerfully. Thanks a lot.
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CR: Thank you, Chris. (Applause)
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