Are we sexual omnivores? | Christopher Ryan

395,333 views ・ 2014-02-20

TED


Please double-click on the English subtitles below to play the video.

00:12
I'm going to go off script
0
12448
1267
00:13
and make Chris quite nervous here
1
13715
2051
00:15
by making this audience participation.
2
15766
2348
00:18
All right. Are you with me? Yeah. Yeah. All right.
3
18114
3183
00:21
So what I'd like to do is have you raise your hand
4
21297
2444
00:23
if you've ever heard a heterosexual couple having sex.
5
23741
4056
00:27
Could be the neighbors, hotel room,
6
27797
2551
00:30
your parents. Sorry.
7
30348
2007
00:32
Okay. Pretty much everybody.
8
32355
1752
00:34
Now raise your hand if the man was making
9
34107
1827
00:35
more noise than the woman.
10
35934
3429
00:39
I see one guy there.
11
39363
2313
00:41
It doesn't count if it was you, sir.
12
41676
2247
00:43
(Laughter)
13
43923
1015
00:44
So his hand's down. And one woman. Okay.
14
44938
3510
00:48
Sitting next to a loud guy.
15
48448
2076
00:50
Now what does this tell us?
16
50524
1624
00:52
It tells us that human beings
17
52148
1846
00:53
make noise when they have sex,
18
53994
1368
00:55
and it's generally the woman who makes more noise.
19
55362
2126
00:57
This is known as female copulatory vocalization
20
57488
3054
01:00
to the clipboard crowd.
21
60542
1423
01:01
I wasn't even going to mention this,
22
61965
1631
01:03
but somebody told me that Meg Ryan might be here,
23
63596
2941
01:06
and she is the world's most famous
24
66537
2604
01:09
female copulatory vocalizer.
25
69141
1949
01:11
So I thought, got to talk about that.
26
71090
2400
01:13
We'll get back to that a little bit later.
27
73490
2713
01:16
Let me start by saying human beings
28
76203
1965
01:18
are not descended from apes,
29
78168
2101
01:20
despite what you may have heard. We are apes.
30
80269
2232
01:22
We are more closely related to the chimp and the bonobo
31
82501
2836
01:25
than the African elephant is to the Indian elephant,
32
85337
3380
01:28
as Jared Diamond pointed out in one of his early books.
33
88717
3198
01:31
We're more closely related to chimps and bonobos
34
91915
4195
01:36
than chimps and bonobos are related
35
96110
1501
01:37
to any other primate --
36
97611
1662
01:39
gorillas, orangutans, what have you.
37
99273
2276
01:41
So we're extremely closely related to them,
38
101549
3247
01:44
and as you'll see in terms of our behavior,
39
104796
2426
01:47
we've got some relationship as well.
40
107222
2367
01:49
So what I'm asking today, the question
41
109589
1919
01:51
I want to explore with you today is,
42
111508
3062
01:54
what kind of ape are we in terms of our sexuality?
43
114570
4168
01:58
Now, since Darwin's day there's been
44
118738
2218
02:00
what Cacilda and I have called
45
120956
1502
02:02
the standard narrative of human sexual evolution,
46
122458
2686
02:05
and you're all familiar with it,
47
125144
1554
02:06
even if you haven't read this stuff.
48
126698
2563
02:09
The idea is that, as part of human nature,
49
129261
3068
02:12
from the beginning of our species' time,
50
132329
1989
02:14
men have sort of leased women's reproductive potential
51
134318
4494
02:18
by providing them with certain goods and services.
52
138812
3395
02:22
Generally we're talking about meat, shelter, status,
53
142207
3670
02:25
protection, things like that.
54
145877
2631
02:28
And in exchange, women have offered fidelity,
55
148508
2335
02:30
or at least a promise of fidelity.
56
150843
2378
02:33
Now this sets men and women up in an oppositional relationship.
57
153221
4270
02:37
The war between the sexes is built right into our DNA, according to this vision. Right?
58
157491
5943
02:43
What Cacilda and I have argued is that no,
59
163434
3937
02:47
this economic relationship,
60
167371
2441
02:49
this oppositional relationship,
61
169812
1825
02:51
is actually an artifact of agriculture,
62
171637
2625
02:54
which only arose about 10,000 years ago at the earliest.
63
174262
3676
02:57
Anatomically modern human beings
64
177938
2167
03:00
have been around for about 200,000 years,
65
180105
2999
03:03
so we're talking about five percent, at most,
66
183104
3622
03:06
of our time as a modern, distinct species.
67
186726
3688
03:10
So before agriculture,
68
190414
3534
03:13
before the agricultural revolution,
69
193948
2005
03:15
it's important to understand that human beings
70
195953
2111
03:18
lived in hunter-gatherer groups that are
71
198064
3334
03:21
characterized wherever they're found in the world
72
201398
3016
03:24
by what anthropologists called fierce egalitarianism.
73
204414
4591
03:29
They not only share things,
74
209005
1868
03:30
they demand that things be shared:
75
210873
2509
03:33
meat, shelter, protection, all these things
76
213382
2259
03:35
that were supposedly being traded to women
77
215641
3009
03:38
for their sexual fidelity, it turns out,
78
218650
2830
03:41
are shared widely among these societies.
79
221480
2730
03:44
Now I'm not saying that our ancestors
80
224210
2188
03:46
were noble savages, and I'm not saying
81
226398
1961
03:48
modern day hunter-gatherers are noble savages either.
82
228359
2796
03:51
What I'm saying is that this is simply
83
231155
2011
03:53
the best way to mitigate risk
84
233166
2440
03:55
in a foraging context.
85
235606
1930
03:57
And there's really no argument about this among anthropologists.
86
237536
3116
04:00
All Cacilda and I have done is extend this sharing behavior to sexuality.
87
240652
4564
04:05
So we've argued that human sexuality
88
245216
2435
04:07
has essentially evolved, until agriculture,
89
247651
4484
04:12
as a way of establishing and maintaining
90
252135
3146
04:15
the complex, flexible social systems, networks,
91
255281
3726
04:19
that our ancestors were very good at,
92
259007
2911
04:21
and that's why our species has survived so well.
93
261918
4616
04:26
Now, this makes some people uncomfortable,
94
266534
2217
04:28
and so I always need to take a moment in these talks
95
268751
2385
04:31
to say, listen,
96
271136
1844
04:32
I'm saying our ancestors were promiscuous,
97
272980
2643
04:35
but I'm not saying they were having sex with strangers.
98
275623
2335
04:37
There were no strangers. Right?
99
277958
2026
04:39
In a hunter-gatherer band, there are no strangers.
100
279984
1844
04:41
You've known these people your entire life.
101
281828
1989
04:43
So I'm saying, yes, there were overlapping sexual relationships,
102
283817
3459
04:47
that our ancestors probably had several different sexual relationships
103
287276
4307
04:51
going on at any given moment in their adult lives.
104
291583
3387
04:54
But I'm not saying they were having sex with strangers.
105
294970
2403
04:57
I'm not saying that they didn't love the people they were having sex with.
106
297373
3111
05:00
And I'm not saying there was no pair-bonding going on.
107
300484
2905
05:03
I'm just saying it wasn't sexually exclusive.
108
303389
3086
05:06
And those of us who have chosen to be monogamous --
109
306475
3684
05:10
my parents, for example, have been married
110
310159
2338
05:12
for 52 years monogamously,
111
312497
2508
05:15
and if it wasn't monogamously, Mom and Dad,
112
315005
2362
05:17
I don't want to hear about it—
113
317367
2347
05:19
I'm not criticizing this and I'm not saying
114
319714
2392
05:22
there's anything wrong with this.
115
322106
1556
05:23
What I'm saying is that to argue
116
323662
2159
05:25
that our ancestors were sexual omnivores
117
325821
4674
05:30
is no more a criticism of monogamy
118
330495
2287
05:32
than to argue that our ancestors were dietary omnivores
119
332782
3468
05:36
is a criticism of vegetarianism.
120
336250
3323
05:39
You can choose to be a vegetarian,
121
339573
1881
05:41
but don't think that just because you've made that decision,
122
341454
2744
05:44
bacon suddenly stops smelling good.
123
344198
2792
05:46
Okay? So this is my point.
124
346990
2687
05:49
(Laughter)
125
349677
2351
05:52
That one took a minute to sink in, huh?
126
352028
3621
05:55
Now, in addition to being a great genius,
127
355649
2330
05:57
a wonderful man, a wonderful husband,
128
357979
2065
06:00
a wonderful father, Charles Darwin
129
360044
1780
06:01
was also a world-class Victorian prude.
130
361824
4112
06:05
All right? He was perplexed
131
365936
1940
06:07
by the sexual swellings of certain primates,
132
367876
2610
06:10
including chimps and bonobos,
133
370486
1543
06:12
because these sexual swellings tend to provoke
134
372029
2538
06:14
many males to mate with the females.
135
374567
2592
06:17
So he couldn't understand why on Earth would the female have developed this thing
136
377159
3171
06:20
if all they were supposed to be doing is forming their pair bond, right?
137
380330
3929
06:24
Chimps and bonobos, Darwin didn't really know this,
138
384259
2439
06:26
but chimps and bonobos mate
139
386698
1948
06:28
one to four times per hour
140
388646
1654
06:30
with up to a dozen males per day
141
390300
3416
06:33
when they have their sexual swellings.
142
393716
2616
06:36
Interestingly, chimps have sexual swellings
143
396332
2655
06:38
through 40 percent, roughly,
144
398987
1802
06:40
of their menstrual cycle,
145
400789
1885
06:42
bonobos 90 percent,
146
402674
2700
06:45
and humans are among the only species on the planet
147
405374
3422
06:48
where the female is available for sex
148
408796
2102
06:50
throughout the menstrual cycle,
149
410898
1988
06:52
whether she's menstruating, whether she's post-menopausal,
150
412886
2744
06:55
whether she's already pregnant.
151
415630
1311
06:56
This is vanishingly rare among mammals.
152
416941
3844
07:00
So it's a very interesting aspect of human sexuality.
153
420785
3793
07:04
Now, Darwin ignored the reflections
154
424578
2675
07:07
of the sexual swelling in his own day,
155
427253
3568
07:10
as scientists tend to do sometimes.
156
430821
3631
07:14
So what we're talking about is sperm competition.
157
434452
2505
07:16
Now the average human ejaculate has about 300 million sperm cells,
158
436957
3410
07:20
so it's already a competitive environment.
159
440367
2430
07:22
The question is whether these sperm are competing against other men's sperm
160
442797
3213
07:26
or just their own.
161
446030
1785
07:27
There's a lot to talk about in this chart.
162
447815
2106
07:29
The one thing I'll call your attention to right away
163
449921
2175
07:32
is the little musical note above the female chimp and bonobo and human.
164
452096
4042
07:36
That indicates female copulatory vocalization.
165
456138
3301
07:39
Just look at the numbers.
166
459439
1602
07:41
The average human has sex
167
461041
2196
07:43
about 1,000 times per birth.
168
463237
3642
07:46
If that number seems high for some of you,
169
466879
2173
07:49
I assure you it seems low for others in the room.
170
469052
3213
07:52
We share that ratio with chimps and bonobos.
171
472265
2950
07:55
We don't share it with the other three apes,
172
475215
2302
07:57
the gorilla, the orangutan and the gibbon,
173
477517
2256
07:59
who are more typical of mammals,
174
479773
1661
08:01
having sex only about a dozen times per birth.
175
481434
3192
08:04
Humans and bonobos are the only animals that have sex face-to-face
176
484626
4213
08:08
when both of them are alive.
177
488847
2406
08:11
(Laughter)
178
491253
3905
08:15
And you'll see that the human, chimp and bonobo
179
495895
3171
08:19
all have external testicles, which in our book
180
499066
2396
08:21
we equate to a special fridge you have in the garage
181
501462
3988
08:25
just for beer.
182
505450
2260
08:27
If you're the kind of guy who has a beer fridge
183
507710
2726
08:30
in the garage, you expect a party to happen
184
510436
2342
08:32
at any moment, and you need to be ready.
185
512778
1789
08:34
That's what the external testicles are.
186
514567
2155
08:36
They keep the sperm cells cool
187
516722
2410
08:39
so you can have frequent ejaculations.
188
519132
2218
08:41
I'm sorry. It's true.
189
521350
3739
08:45
The human, some of you will be happy to hear,
190
525089
3089
08:48
has the largest, thickest penis of any primate.
191
528178
2811
08:50
Now, this evidence goes way beyond anatomy.
192
530989
2510
08:53
It goes into anthropology as well.
193
533499
2561
08:56
Historical records are full of accounts of people
194
536060
2617
08:58
around the world who have sexual practices
195
538677
1809
09:00
that should be impossible
196
540486
1630
09:02
given what we have assumed about human sexual evolution.
197
542116
3926
09:06
These women are the Mosuo from southwestern China.
198
546042
2700
09:08
In their society, everyone, men and women,
199
548742
2567
09:11
are completely sexually autonomous.
200
551309
1741
09:13
There's no shame associated with sexual behavior.
201
553050
2959
09:16
Women have hundreds of partners.
202
556009
2246
09:18
It doesn't matter. Nobody cares. Nobody gossips. It's not an issue.
203
558255
3182
09:21
When the woman becomes pregnant,
204
561437
1796
09:23
the child is cared for by her, her sisters, and her brothers.
205
563233
2858
09:26
The biological father is a nonissue.
206
566091
2839
09:28
On the other side of the planet, in the Amazon,
207
568930
2406
09:31
we've got many tribes which practice
208
571336
2869
09:34
what anthropologists call partible paternity.
209
574205
2732
09:36
These people actually believe --
210
576937
2597
09:39
and they have no contact among them,
211
579534
1715
09:41
no common language or anything,
212
581249
1656
09:42
so it's not an idea that spread,
213
582905
1737
09:44
it's an idea that's arisen around the world --
214
584642
2137
09:46
they believe that a fetus is literally made
215
586779
2157
09:48
of accumulated semen.
216
588936
2276
09:51
So a woman who wants to have a child
217
591212
1988
09:53
who's smart and funny and strong
218
593200
1832
09:55
makes sure she has lots of sex with the smart guy,
219
595032
2131
09:57
the funny guy and the strong guy,
220
597163
1944
09:59
to get the essence of each of these men into the baby,
221
599107
2224
10:01
and then when the child is born,
222
601331
2512
10:03
these different men will come forward
223
603843
2142
10:05
and acknowledge their paternity of the child.
224
605985
2870
10:08
So paternity is actually sort of a team endeavor
225
608855
2838
10:11
in this society.
226
611693
1616
10:13
So there are all sorts of examples like this
227
613309
1988
10:15
that we go through in the book.
228
615297
2450
10:17
Now, why does this matter?
229
617747
3460
10:21
Edward Wilson says we need to understand
230
621207
2560
10:23
that human sexuality is first a bonding device
231
623767
3046
10:26
and only secondarily procreation.
232
626813
2835
10:29
I think that's true. This matters because
233
629648
2184
10:31
our evolved sexuality is in direct conflict
234
631832
3038
10:34
with many aspects of the modern world.
235
634870
2587
10:37
The contradictions between what we're told
236
637457
2138
10:39
we should feel and what we actually do feel
237
639595
3427
10:43
generates a huge amount of unnecessary suffering.
238
643022
5137
10:48
My hope is that a more accurate,
239
648159
2416
10:50
updated understanding of human sexuality
240
650575
2375
10:52
will lead us to have greater tolerance for ourselves,
241
652950
3020
10:55
for each other,
242
655970
1597
10:57
greater respect for unconventional relationship configurations
243
657567
3623
11:01
like same-sex marriage or polyamorous unions,
244
661190
5281
11:06
and that we'll finally put to rest the idea
245
666471
3348
11:09
that men have some innate, instinctive right
246
669819
2574
11:12
to monitor and control women's sexual behavior.
247
672393
4228
11:16
(Applause)
248
676621
2992
11:19
Thank you.
249
679613
2154
11:21
And we'll see that it's not only gay people
250
681767
2256
11:24
that have to come out of the closet.
251
684023
1669
11:25
We all have closets we have to come out of. Right?
252
685692
3529
11:29
And when we do come out of those closets,
253
689221
1761
11:30
we'll recognize that our fight is not with each other,
254
690982
3559
11:34
our fight is with an outdated, Victorian sense of human sexuality
255
694541
4504
11:39
that conflates desire with property rights,
256
699045
3555
11:42
generates shame and confusion
257
702600
2765
11:45
in place of understanding and empathy.
258
705365
2835
11:48
It's time we moved beyond Mars and Venus,
259
708200
2716
11:50
because the truth is
260
710916
1730
11:52
that men are from Africa
261
712646
1337
11:53
and women are from Africa.
262
713983
1996
11:55
Thank you.
263
715979
1945
11:57
(Applause)
264
717924
5459
12:06
Chris Anderson: Thank you. Christopher Ryan: Thank you.
265
726530
2494
12:09
CA: So a question.
266
729024
1742
12:10
It's so perplexing, trying to use arguments
267
730766
3899
12:14
about evolutionary history
268
734665
3067
12:17
to turn that into what we ought to do today.
269
737732
2584
12:20
Someone could give a talk and say,
270
740316
2406
12:22
look at us, we've got these really sharp teeth
271
742722
2745
12:25
and muscles and a brain that's really good
272
745467
1727
12:27
at throwing weapons,
273
747194
1561
12:28
and if you look at lots of societies around the world,
274
748755
3064
12:31
you'll see very high rates of violence.
275
751819
2286
12:34
Nonviolence is a choice like vegetarianism,
276
754105
3169
12:37
but it's not who you are.
277
757274
2144
12:39
How is that different
278
759418
2050
12:41
from the talk you gave?
279
761468
3365
12:44
CR: Well first of all, the evidence
280
764833
3184
12:48
for high levels of violence in prehistory
281
768017
2775
12:50
is very debatable.
282
770792
2606
12:53
But that's just an example.
283
773398
2201
12:55
Certainly, you know, lots of people say to me,
284
775599
3604
12:59
just because we lived a certain way in the past
285
779203
2540
13:01
doesn't mean we should live that way now, and I agree with that.
286
781743
3199
13:04
Everyone has to respond to the modern world.
287
784942
2527
13:07
But the body does have its inherent
288
787469
4422
13:11
evolved trajectories.
289
791891
2857
13:14
And so you could live on McDonald's and milkshakes,
290
794748
3480
13:18
but your body will rebel against that. We have appetites.
291
798228
3456
13:21
I think it was Schopenhauer who said,
292
801702
1688
13:23
a person can do what they want
293
803390
2864
13:26
but not want what they want.
294
806254
2057
13:28
And so what I'm arguing against
295
808311
1723
13:30
is the shame that's associated with desires.
296
810034
2464
13:32
It's the idea that if you love your husband or wife
297
812498
3359
13:35
but you still are attracted to other people,
298
815857
2210
13:38
there's something wrong with you,
299
818067
1499
13:39
there's something wrong with your marriage,
300
819566
1937
13:41
something wrong with your partner.
301
821503
1460
13:42
I think a lot of families are fractured
302
822963
2023
13:44
by unrealistic expectations
303
824986
1985
13:46
that are based upon this false vision of human sexuality.
304
826971
3045
13:50
That's what I'm trying to get at.
305
830016
1464
13:51
CA: Thank you. Communicated powerfully. Thanks a lot.
306
831480
2499
13:53
CR: Thank you, Chris. (Applause)
307
833979
3991
About this website

This site will introduce you to YouTube videos that are useful for learning English. You will see English lessons taught by top-notch teachers from around the world. Double-click on the English subtitles displayed on each video page to play the video from there. The subtitles scroll in sync with the video playback. If you have any comments or requests, please contact us using this contact form.

https://forms.gle/WvT1wiN1qDtmnspy7