Emmanuel Jal: The music of a war child

譯者: Adrienne Lin 審譯者: Chih-Yuan Jen (任致遠)

I just want to say my name is Emmanuel Jal.

我叫做Emmanuel Jal

And I come from a long way.

我經歷過許多事

I've been telling a story that has been so painful for me.

長期以來，我向大眾述說那些痛苦的往事

It's been a tough journey for me, traveling the world,

對我來說，這是個辛苦的過程，我拜訪各國演說

telling my story in form of a book.

將我的故事撰寫成書

And also telling it like now.

也像現在這樣演講

And also, the easiest one was

還有，最輕鬆的方式是

when I was doing it in form of a music.

透過音樂來傳達我的想法

So I have branded myself as a war child.

我替自己取了個綽號，叫做戰地兒童

I'm doing this

我這麼做

because of an old lady in my village now,

是因為和我同個村莊的老婦人

who have lost her children.

失去了她的孩子

There is no newspaper to cover her pain,

沒有新聞願意報導她的苦痛

and what she wants to change in this society.

以及她想為社會做的改變

And I'm doing it for a young man

我這麼做，也是為了一個年輕人

who want to create a change and has no way to project his voice

他想要改變，卻無處發聲

because he can't write.

因為他不會寫字

Or there is no Internet, like Facebook, MySpace,

也沒有網路，沒有Facebook、Myspace

YouTube, for them to talk.

或是YouTube等平台讓他們發聲

Also one thing that kept me pushing this story,

另一個無形鞭策我這麼努力地說故事

this painful stories out, the dreams I have,

四處分享這痛苦歷程的動力，就是我的夢想

sometimes, is like the voices of the dead,

有時候就像是，我會聽到

that I have seen

那些不幸喪命的人的聲音

would tell me, "Don't give up. Keep on going."

告訴我，「別放棄，堅持下去」

Because sometime I feel like stopping and not doing it,

因為我曾經幾度想放棄

because I didn't know what I was putting myself into.

我不曉得這麼做會把自己推向什麼境地

Well I was born in the most difficult time,

我出生時，正好是生活最艱困的時刻

when my country was at war.

我的國家承受戰火摧殘

I saw my village burned down.

我看著我的村莊被燒毀

The world that meant a lot to me, I saw it

這個對我意義非凡的世界，

vanish in my face.

從我眼前消失

I saw my aunt in rape when I was only five.

我五歲時，看到我阿姨被強姦

My mother was claimed by the war.

母親死於戰爭

My brothers and sisters were scattered.

我的兄弟姐妹們四散各處

And up to now, me and my father

到現在，即使我和我的父親已不在一起

were detached and I still have issues with him.

我對他還是心懷芥蒂

Seeing people die every day,

我每天目睹死亡

my mother crying,

看著母親哭泣

it's like I was raised in a violence.

就像是被暴戾之氣扶養帶大一樣

And that made me call myself a war child.

所以我自稱戰地兒童

And not only that, when I was eight

不只如此，在我八歲時

I became a child soldier.

我成了童兵

I didn't know what was the war for.

我不知道打仗是為了什麼

But one thing I knew

我只知道

was an image that I saw that stuck in my head.

那些在我腦中、揮之不去的畫面

When I went to the training camp I say,

當我到了童兵訓練營，我說

"I want to kill as many Muslims,

我想要儘可能

and as many Arabs, as possible."

殺光所有的回教徒和阿拉伯人

The training wasn't easy, but that was the driving force,

裡面的訓練很辛苦，但那是我支撐下去的動力

because I wanted to revenge for my family.

因為我想替家人復仇

I wanted to revenge for my village.

我想為村民復仇

Luckily now things have changed

幸運地，現在一切有了轉機

because I came to discover the truth.

因為我發現了事實

What was actually killing us wasn't the Muslims,

殺我們的並不是回教徒

wasn't the Arabs.

不是阿拉伯人

It was somebody sitting somewhere manipulating the system,

而是某些藏在暗處、操縱我們的人

and using religion to get what they want to get out of us,

他們利用我們的信仰，獲得他想要的

which is the oil, the diamond,

也就是石油、鑽石

the gold and the land.

黃金和土地

So realizing the truth gave me a position to choose:

理解到這個事實，讓我有能力選擇

should I continue to hate, or let it go?

我該繼續憤怒，還是放下？

So I happened to forgive. Now I sing

而我選擇原諒。現在我和回教徒

music with the Muslims. I dance with them.

一起高歌、一塊跳舞

I even had a movie out called "War Child,"

我甚至還拍了一部由回教徒贊助的電影

funded by Muslim people.

叫做「戰地兒童」

So that pain has gone out.

痛苦已漸漸離去

But my story is huge.

但我的故事是很龐雜的

So I'm just going to go into a different step now,

所以現在，我要用一個不同的作法

which is easier for me.

一個對我來說簡單一點的方式

I'm going to give you poem

我想朗誦一首詩

called "Forced to Sin,"

叫做「被迫犯罪」

which is from my album "War Child."

選自我的專輯《戰地兒童》

I talk about my story.

它在說我的故事

One of the journey that I tread

在一次行軍

when I was tempted to eat my friend because we had no food

因為沒有食物，我必須吃下同伴的屍體果腹

and we were like around 400.

一開始我們的隊伍有400人

And only 16 people survived that journey.

行軍最後，只剩下16人還活著

So I hope you're going to hear this.

我希望，你們能聽見我的聲音

My dreams are like torment.

我在夢中反覆煎熬

My every moment.

每一刻

Voices in my brain, of friends that was slain.

腦中都傳來死去朋友的聲音

Friends like Lual who died by my side,

他們就像Lual這樣，再也無法承受飢餓

of starvation.

死在我身旁

In the burning jungle, and the desert plain.

在烈火焚林，也在廣漠荒原

Next was I, but Jesus heard my cry.

下一個應該就輪到我，但耶穌聽見了我的哭喊

As I was tempted to eat the rotten flesh

就當我要吃下同伴的

of my comrade,

腐爛身軀時

he gave me comfort.

祂給我慰藉

We used to raid villages,

我們曾掠奪村莊

stealing chickens, goats and sheeps,

偷走雞隻和羊群

anything we could eat.

偷走所有能吃的東西

I knew it was rude, but we needed food.

我明白這很粗蠻，但我們需要食物

And therefore I was forced to sin,

所以我不得不犯罪

forced to sin to make a living,

為了生存，我被迫去犯罪

forced to sin to make a living.

為了生存，我被迫去犯罪

Sometimes you gotta lose to win.

有時候，你必須有失，才能有得

Never give up. Never give in.

別放棄，別投降

Left home at the age of seven.

七歲離家

One year later, live with an AK-47 by my side.

一年後，身邊多了把AK-47步槍

Slept with one eye open wide.

睡覺還得睜著一隻眼

Run, duck, play dead and hide.

奔跑、閃避、裝死、躲藏

I've seen my people die like flies.

同伴們彷彿螻蟻般一個個死去

But I've never seen a dead body,

但我從沒見過任何一具屍體

at least one that I've killed.

至少沒見過因我而死的屍體

But still as I wonder, I won't go under.

但每當我徘徊，仍不認輸

Guns barking like lightning and thunder.

四處都是槍林彈雨

As a child so young and tender,

當時還年幼脆弱的我

Words I can't forget I still remember.

無法忘卻那個人說的話

I saw sergeant command raising his hand,

我看見那個指揮官高舉雙手喊

no retreat, no surrender.

「不撤退，不投降」

I carry the banner of the trauma.

我遍體鱗傷

War child, child without a mama,

戰地兒童，沒有母親的孩子

still fighting in the saga.

仍上演著拚鬥的冒險故事

Yet as I wage this new war I'm not alone in this drama.

然而在這場嶄新的戰役中，我並不孤單

No sit or stop, as I reach for the top

不到終點決不休息

I'm fully dedicated like a patriotic cop.

像個愛國的警察般全力以赴

I'm on a fight, day and night.

不分日夜地奮鬥

Sometime I do wrong in order to make things right.

有時犯錯，是為了成就對的事

It's like I'm living a dream.

彷彿一直以來，我都活在夢中

First time I'm feeling like a human being.

直到現在，才頭一次感覺自己像個人

Ah! The children of Darfur.

阿！達佛的孩子

Your empty bellies on the telly and now it's you

電視中你飢餓的肚皮

that I'm fighting for.

正是我奮鬥的原因

Left home.

離開家園

Don't even know the day I'll ever return.

不曉得何時才能回家

My country is war-torn.

我的家園被戰爭摧毀

Music I used to hear was bombs and fire of guns.

陪伴我的音樂，是隆隆作響的炸彈和槍聲

So many people die that I don't even cry no more.

太多人死亡，我甚至再也流不出淚

Ask God question, what am I here for.

請問蒼天，我的存在有意義嗎

And why are my people poor.

為什麼我們如此窮困

And why, why when the rest of the children were learning how to read and write,

為什麼當其他孩子在上學時

I was learning how to fight.

我卻學習如何打仗

I ate snails, vultures, rabbits,

我吃過蝸牛、禿鷹、兔子、蛇

snakes, and anything that had life.

任何有生命的東西

I was ready to eat.

我都吃過

I know it's a shame. But who is to be blamed?

我知道很丟臉，但我能怪誰？

That's my story shared in the form of a lesson.

這就是我的故事

(Applause)

(鼓掌)

Thank you.

謝謝

(Applause)

(鼓掌)

What energized me and kept me going is the music I do.

我的音樂是支持我繼續的力量

I never saw anybody

沒人能替我

to tell my story to them

向大眾訴說我的故事

so they could advise me or do therapy.

找人來輔導我、安慰我

So the music had been my therapy for me.

所以音樂成了我療傷的藥方

It's been where I actually see heaven,

在音樂裡，我看見天堂

where I can be happy,

在那裡，我能感受快樂

where I can be a child again, in dances, through music.

我能找回童真，自在跳舞

So one thing I know about music:

我知道

music is the only thing that has power

世上只有音樂能有力量

to enter your cell system,

穿越你的肌膚

your mind, your heart,

你的意志、你的心靈

influence your soul and your spirit,

影響你的靈魂

and can even influence the way you live

並且在不知不覺中

without even you knowing.

影響你的生活方式

Music is the only thing that can

只有音樂，才能讓你

make you want to wake up your bed

早上自然地從床上醒來

and shake your leg,

不假思索地

without even wanting to do it.

踢踢雙腳

And so the power music has

我常拿音樂的力量

I normally compare to the power love

和愛的力量相提並論

when love doesn't see a color.

愛是不分種族膚色的

You know, if you fall in love with a frog, that's it.

就像你愛上了青蛙，也就只能愛上了

One testimony about how I find music

關於我發現音樂強大力量

is powerful is when

的另一則故事

I was still a soldier back then.

是發生在我還是童兵的時候

I hated the people in the north.

當時我痛恨北方的人

But I don't know why I don't hate their music.

但我就是不恨他們的音樂

So we party and dance to their music.

我們總能隨他們的音樂起舞狂歡

And one thing that shocked me is one day

最讓我吃驚的是

they brought an Arab musician

有天，一個阿拉伯音樂家

to come and entertain the soldiers.

來營裡為士兵們表演

And I almost broke my leg dancing to his music.

那次我跳舞跳到腳都快斷了

But I had this question.

所以我有了個疑問

So now I'm doing music so I know what the power of music is.

我現在成了音樂人，也懂得了音樂的力量

So what's happening here?

從以前的我到現在，這中間發生了什麼事？

I've been in a painful journey.

最近我正在進行一項痛苦的修煉

Today is day number 233

這段時間我只吃晚餐

in which I only eat dinner.

到今天是第233天

I don't eat breakfast. No lunch.

沒有早餐、沒有午餐

And I've done a campaign called

我發起一個運動叫做

Lose to Win.

「先有失，才有得」

Where I'm losing so that I could win

像我現在做的事

the battle that I'm fighting now.

我放棄了一些東西來贏得勝利

So my breakfast, my lunch,

我的早餐、午餐

I donate it to a charity that I founded

都捐給我成立的慈善機構

because we want to build a school in Sudan.

因為我想為蘇丹的孩子蓋間學校

And I'm doing this because also

另一方面，我這麼做也是因為

it's a normal thing in my home, people eat one meal a day.

在我的國家，一天吃一餐是很正常的

Here I am in the West. I choose not to.

現在我到了西方國家，我仍選擇只吃一餐

So in my village now, kids there,

在我家鄉的孩子們

they normally listen to BBC, or any radio,

會聽著BBC或其他廣播

and they are waiting to know,

等著想知道

the day Emmanuel will eat his breakfast

何時Emmanuel會重新開始吃早餐

it means he got the money to build our school.

因為，那就表示有錢蓋學校了

And so I made a commitment. I say,

所以我做了承諾，我說

"I'm gonna not eat my breakfast."

「我決定不要吃早餐」

I thought I was famous enough that I would raise the money within one month,

我以為依照我的名氣，一個月內應該就能達成目標

but I've been humbled.

後來發現是我想太多了

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

So it's taken me 232 days.

所以我花了232天

And I said, "No stop until we get it."

而我還是說，「未達目的決不放棄」

And like it's been done on Facebook, MySpace.

在Facebook和Myspace都有人響應我的行動

The people are giving three dollars.

有人捐出三塊美金

The lowest amount we ever got was 20 cents.

我們也曾獲得最低的捐贈，美金20分

Somebody donated 20 cents online.

對方透過網路捐了美金20分

I don't know how they did it.

我真不曉得他們怎麼做到的

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

But that moved me.

但他們的善心感動了我

And so, the importance of education to me

對我而言，教育

is what I'm willing to die for.

是值得用生命換取的

I'm willing to die for this,

我願意誓死奉獻

because I know what it can do to my people.

因為我知道這能為我的族人做什麼

Education enlighten your brain,

教育啟發心智

give you so many chances,

賦予我們選擇的權利

and you're able to survive.

讓我們有生存的機會

As a nation we have been crippled.

那是個羸弱不堪的國度

For so many years we have fed on aid.

多年來只能靠援助維生

You see a 20-years-old, 30-years-old

你可以看到2、30歲的人

families in a refugee camps.

與家人同住在難民營

They only get the food that drops from the sky, from the U.N.

他們只能得到聯合國空投下來的食物

So these people,

這些人

you're killing a whole generation if you just give them aid.

如果只給予他們救濟物資的話，就形同扼殺了整個世代

If anybody want to help us

如果有任何人想幫助我們

this is what we need.

請先了解我們的需要

Give us tools. Give the farmers tools.

請給我們工具，給我們農具

It's rain. Africa is fertile. They can grow the crops.

非洲有雨水、有沃土，人們是可以耕作的

(Applause)

(掌聲)

Invest in education.

請投資教育吧

Education so that we have strong institution

投資教育，我們才能有健全的組織

that can create a revolution to change everything.

足以發起革新，改變原有的一切

Because we have all those old men

那些在非洲製造戰爭的老頭們

that are creating wars in Africa. They will die soon.

垂垂老矣，很快就會死了

But if you invest in education

如果你們投資教育

then we'll be able to change Africa.

我們就能改造非洲

That's what I'm asking.

這就是我所呼籲的

(Applause)

(掌聲)

So in order to do that,

為了這個目標

I founded a charter called Gua Africa,

我創立了Gua Africa機構

where we put kids in school.

安置孩子上學

And now we have a couple in university.

而現在幾個孩子已上了大學

We have like 40 kids, ex-child soldiers

我們有40幾個孩子，他們有些曾是童兵

mixed with anybody that we feel like we want to support.

還有一些我們認為同樣需要支援的孩子

And I said "I'm going to put it in practice."

我說，我們要付諸實踐

And with the people that are going to follow me and help me do things.

和那些願意跟隨我、幫助我的人

That's what I want to do to change,

我們想要做出改變

to make a difference in the world.

創造不同的世界

Well now, my time is going,

現在，時間不多了

so I want to sing a song.

我想唱首歌

But I'll ask you guys to stand up

請大家站起來

so we celebrate the life of a British aid worker

讓我們來讚頌一位英國的救助人員

called Emma McCune

她叫做Emma McCune

that made it possible for me to be here.

因為她，我才能站在這

I'm gonna sing this song,

我要唱這首歌

just to inspire you how this woman has made a difference.

邀你們一同感受這位女子如何發揮影響

She came to my country and saw the importance

她來到我的國家

of education.

看見教育的重要性

She said the only way to help Sudan

她說幫助蘇丹唯一的方法

is to invest in the women, educating them,

就是投資在教育女人

educating the children,

教育小孩上

so that they could come and create a revolution

他們才有辦法在這複雜的環境中

in this complex society.

做出改變

So she even ended up marrying a commander

她甚至後來選擇嫁給蘇丹人民解放軍的

from the SPLA.

指揮官

And she rescued over 150 child soldiers.

她拯救了超過150個童兵

One of them happened to be me now.

其中一個就是我

And so at this moment I want to ask to celebrate Emma with me.

所以現在我想邀請大家跟我一起讚頌Emma

Are you guys ready to celebrate Emma?

你們準備好了嗎？

Audience: Yes!

(觀眾:) 好了！

Emmanuel Jal: All right.

好

♫ This one goes to Emma McCune ♫

♫ 這首歌獻給Emma McCune ♫

♫ Angel to rescue came one afternoon ♫

♫ 她是下凡拯救我的天使 ♫

♫ I'm here because you rescued me ♫

♫ 我能站在這裡都是因為妳救了我 ♫

♫ I'm proud to carry your legacy ♫

♫ 能發揚妳的寶貴資產，我感到榮耀 ♫

♫ Thank you. Bless you. R.I.P. ♫

♫ 感謝妳，祝福妳，願妳安息 ♫

♫ What would I be? Me! ♫

♫ 我會成為什麼樣的人？我！ ♫

♫ If Emma never rescued me? What would I be? ♫

♫ 如果Emma不曾拯救我，我會成為什麼樣的人？ ♫

♫ What would I be? Me! ♫

♫ 我會成為什麼樣的人？我！ ♫

♫ Another starving refugee ♫

♫ 大概是另一個飢餓的難民吧 ♫

♫ What would I be? ♫

♫ 我會成為什麼樣的人？ ♫

♫ What would I be? Me! ♫

♫ 我會成為什麼樣的人？　我！ ♫

♫ If Emma never rescued me? Yeah! ♫

♫ 如果Emma沒有拯救我？ ♫

♫ Yeah! Yeah! ♫

♫ 耶！耶！ ♫

♫ You would have seen my face on the telly ♫

♫ 你會在電視上看到我 ♫

♫ Fat hungry belly ♫

♫ 有著突出的肚皮 ♫

♫ Flies in my eyes, head too big for my size ♫

♫ 眼裡有蒼蠅，頭大身小的比例 ♫

♫ Just another little starving child ♫

♫ 只是另一個餓壞的孩子 ♫

♫ Running around in Africa, born to be wild ♫

♫ 在非洲奔跑的野蠻孩子 ♫

♫ Praise God, praise the Almighty ♫

♫ 讚美主，萬能的上帝 ♫

♫ for sending an angel to rescue me ♫

♫ 謝謝祢派了天使來拯救我 ♫

♫ I got a reason for being on this Earth ♫

♫ 於是我在這世上便有了意義 ♫

♫ 'Cause I know more than many what a life is worth ♫

♫ 因為我比很多人更懂得生命的可貴 ♫

♫ Now that I got a chance to stand my ground ♫

♫ 現在我有了立身之處 ♫

♫ I'm gonna run over mountains, leaps and bounds ♫

♫ 我要翻山越嶺 ♫

♫ I ain't an angel, hope I'll be one soon ♫

♫ 我不是天使，但我期許自己也能成為其中一員 ♫

♫ And if I am, I wanna be like Emma McCune ♫

♫ 如果我是，我要像Emma McCune ♫

♫ Me! What would I be? Me! ♫

♫ 我！我會成為什麼樣的人呢？我！ ♫

♫ If Emma never rescued me? ♫

♫ 如果Emma從未拯救我 ♫

♫ What would I be? ♫

♫ 我會成為什麼樣的人？ ♫

♫ What would I be? Me! ♫

♫ 我會成為什麼樣的人？我！ ♫

♫ Another starving refugee ♫

♫ 大概是另一個飢餓的難民吧 ♫

♫ What would I be? ♫

♫ 我會成為什麼樣的人？ ♫

♫ What would I be? Me! ♫

♫ 我會成為什麼樣的人？我！♫

♫ If Emma never rescued me? Yeah! Yeah!♫

♫ 如果Emma不曾拯救我？耶！耶！ ♫

♫ Yeah, Yeah! ♫

♫ 耶！耶！ ♫

♫ I would have probably died from starvation ♫

♫ 我很可能會死於飢荒 ♫

♫ Or some other wretched disease ♫

♫ 或是被病魔奪去性命 ♫

♫ I would have grown up with no education ♫

♫ 我會無法念書 ♫

♫ Just another refugee ♫

♫ 成為另一個難民 ♫

♫ I stand here because somebody cared ♫

♫ 因為有人在乎，我能站在這裡 ♫

♫ I stand here because somebody dared ♫

♫ 因為有人勇敢，我能站在這裡 ♫

♫ I know there is a lot of Emmas out there ♫

♫ 我知道世界還有很多人像Emma ♫

♫ Who is willing and trying to save a life of a child ♫

♫ 願意挽救另一個孩童的生命 ♫

♫ What would I be? Me! ♫

♫ 我會成為什麼樣的人？我！ ♫

♫ If Emma never rescued me? ♫

♫ 如果Emma不曾拯救我 ♫

♫ What would I be? ♫

♫ 我會成為什麼樣的人？ ♫

♫ What would I be? ♫

♫ 我會成為什麼樣的人？ ♫

♫ Another starving refugee ♫

♫ 大概是另一個飢餓的難民吧 ♫

♫ I remember the time when I was small ♫

♫ 我記得小時候 ♫

♫ When I couldn't read or write at all ♫

♫ 還不識字，也不會寫 ♫

♫ Now I'm all grown up, I got my education ♫

♫ 現在我長大了，唸書了 ♫

♫ The sky is the limit and I can't be stopped by no one ♫

♫ 世界無限大，沒有人能阻止我 ♫

♫ How I prayed for this day to come ♫

♫ 我多麼期盼這天能夠到來 ♫

♫ And I pray that the world find wisdom ♫

♫ 我祈禱世界能獲取智慧 ♫

♫ To give the poor in need some assistance ♫

♫ 幫助需要幫助的貧民 ♫

♫ Instead of putting up resistance, yeah ♫

♫ 而不是築起對立的高牆 ♫

♫ Sitting and waiting for the politics to fix this ♫

♫ 等待政治人物有天會出面幫我們解決問題 ♫

♫ It ain't gonna happen ♫

♫ 這是不可能的 ♫

♫ They're all sitting on they asses ♫

♫ 他們只會將他們的大屁股穩穩坐定 ♫

♫ Popping champagne and sponging off the masses ♫

♫ 選舉造勢、剝削百姓 ♫

♫ Coming from a refugee boy-soldier ♫

♫ 即使曾是一個貧困的童兵 ♫

♫ But I still got my dignity ♫

♫ 但我仍有我的尊嚴 ♫

♫ I gotta say it again ♫

♫ 我要再說一次 ♫

♫ If Emma never rescued me ♫

♫ 如果Emma不曾拯救我 ♫

♫ I'd be a corpse on the African plain ♫

♫ 我會是非洲平原上的一具屍首 ♫

Is there anybody who's here in the back, some love.

♫ 後面的朋友一起來 ♫

Big scream for Emma everybody.

♫ 一起替Emma歡呼 ♫

Yeah! I'm gonna get crazy now.

♫ 耶！我要放肆地跳了 ♫

♫ What would I be? ♫

♫ 我會成為什麼樣的人？ ♫

♫ If Emma never rescued me? ♫

♫ 如果Emma沒有拯救我 ♫

♫ What would I be? ♫

♫ 我會成為什麼樣的人？ ♫

♫ Another starving refugee ♫

♫ 大概是另一個飢餓的難民吧 ♫

♫ What would I be? ♫

♫ 我會成為什麼樣的人 ♫

♫ If Emma never rescued me? ♫

♫ 如果Emma沒有拯救我？ ♫

♫ Yeah, Yeah ♫

♫ 耶！耶！ ♫

♫ Yeah, I would have probably died from starvation ♫

♫ 我很可能會死於飢荒 ♫

♫ Or some other wretched disease ♫

♫ 或是被病魔奪去性命 ♫

♫ I would have grown up with no education ♫

♫ 我會失去教育 ♫

♫ Just another refugee ♫

♫ 成為另一個難民 ♫

(Applause)

(掌聲)

Thank you.

謝謝

(Applause)

(掌聲)

Go save a life of a child.

開始拯救孩童的生命吧

(Applause)

(掌聲)