The secret to giving great feedback | The Way We Work, a TED series

Transcriber: TED Translators admin

翻译人员: Shengmin Huang 校对人员: Yanyan Hong

If you look at a carpenter, they have a toolbox;

我们知道，木匠有自己的工具箱，

a dentist, they have their drills.

牙医有自己的牙钻。

In our era and the type of work most of us are doing,

在我们当今绝大多数工作中，

the tool we most need is actually centered

我们最需要的工具

around being able to give and receive feedback well.

其实都关乎能否很好地 提供与获得反馈。

[The Way We Work]

[ 我们的工作方式 ]

Humans have been talking about feedback for centuries.

关于反馈， 人类已经讨论了数百年之久。

In fact, Confucius, way back in 500 BC,

实际上，公元前 500 年的孔夫子

talked about how important it is to be able to say difficult messages well.

就讨论过有效表达 复杂信息的重要性。

But to be honest, we're still pretty bad at it.

但说实话，我们至今依然不善其道。

In fact, a recent Gallup survey found

实际上，近期一项 盖洛普问卷调查发现，

that only 26 percent of employees strongly agree

强烈认同业绩反馈

that the feedback they get actually improves their work.

能有效提升业绩的员工只占 26%，

Those numbers are pretty dismal.

相当可悲的数字。

So what's going on?

到底发生了什么？

The way that most people give their feedback

其实大多数人提供反馈的方式

actually isn't brain-friendly.

并不利于大脑接受。

People fall into one of two camps.

提供反馈的人分成两类：

Either they're of the camp that is very indirect and soft

一类人非常委婉而温和，

and the brain doesn't even recognize that feedback is being given

让接受反馈者的大脑 甚至无法辨别自己已经收到反馈，

or it's just simply confused,

或是对此感到非常困惑；

or they fall into the other camp of being too direct,

另一类人则是太过于直接，

and with that, it tips the other person into the land of being defensive.

会让接受反馈者进入防备状态。

There's this part of the brain called the amygdala,

大脑里有个叫 杏仁核的部位，

and it's scanning at all times to figure out

它每时每刻都在检查

接受到的信息里 是否含有社交威胁。

whether the message has a social threat attached to it.

With that, we'll move forward to defensiveness,

这样一来，我们就会趋于戒备，

we'll move backwards in retreat,

寻找退路，

and what happens is the feedback giver then starts to disregulate as well.

于是反馈提供者也乱了阵脚，

They add more ums and ahs and justifications,

话语变得支支吾吾， 语无伦次，

and the whole thing gets wonky really fast.

整个对话只能草草结束。

It doesn't have to be this way.

但提供反馈大可不必如此。

I and my team have spent many years going into different companies

我和我的团队历时数年 走访了不同的公司，

and asking who here is a great feedback giver.

询问公司内部有谁善于提供反馈。

Anybody who's named again and again,

任何经多人证实精于此道者，

we actually bring into our labs to see what they're doing differently.

都会被我们邀请到实验室， 以了解他们独特的反馈技巧。

And what we find is that there's a four-part formula

于是我们发现了一个

that you can use to say any difficult message well.

能有效表达复杂信息的“四步诀”。

OK, are you ready for it? Here we go.

准备好了吗？现在开始。

The first part of the formula is what we call the micro-yes.

四步诀的第一步叫“小肯定”，

Great feedback givers begin their feedback

善于提供反馈者

by asking a question that is short but important.

会以简洁而关键的提问 作为反馈的开始方式，

It lets the brain know that feedback is actually coming.

从而让接受者的大脑 知道反馈要来了。

It would be something, for example, like,

比方说，

"Do you have five minutes to talk about how that last conversation went"

“能不能占用你五分钟， 讨论一下刚刚的交流结果？”

或是 “关于如何完善我们的工作， 我有一些想法。

or "I have some ideas for how we can improve things.

Can I share them with you?"

能和你说说吗？”

This micro-yes question does two things for you.

这种小肯定的问题 能做到两件事：

First of all, it's going to be a pacing tool.

首先，它能成为同步工具，

It lets the other person know that feedback is about to be given.

让对方知道 你要提供反馈了。

And the second thing it does is it creates a moment of buy-in.

其次，它能制造一种 主动接纳的氛围。

I can say yes or no to that yes or no question.

“小肯定”问题的回应方式 只有“是”与“否”。

And with that, I get a feeling of autonomy.

从而，我能获得一种 自主权的感觉。

The second part of the feedback formula is going to be giving your data point.

反馈四步诀的第二步 叫“摆事实”，

Here, you should name specifically what you saw or heard,

为此，你需要明确地 列出你的所见所闻，

and cut out any words that aren't objective.

并摒弃任何不客观的词汇。

There's a concept we call blur words.

有一个我们称之为 “模糊词汇”的概念。

A blur word is something that can mean different things to different people.

“模糊词汇”是指那些 不同的人有不同理解的词。

“模糊词汇”都很笼统。

Blur words are not specific.

So for example, if I say "You shouldn't be so defensive"

举个例子，我会说 “你不必这么抵触”，

or "You could be more proactive."

或者 “你本可以更主动”。

What we see great feedback givers doing differently

我们发现， 善于反馈者的独到之处在于，

is they'll convert their blur words into actual data points.

他们会将模糊词汇 转化到要摆出的事实里。

So for example, instead of saying,

比如，这句话

"You aren't reliable,"

“你真不可靠。”

we would say, "You said you'd get that email to me by 11,

可以更好地表达成 “你说好了 11 点钟会把电子邮件给我，

and I still don't have it yet."

可我现在还没收到。”

Specificity is also important when it comes to positive feedback,

明确性对于积极反馈而言也很重要，

and the reason for that is that we want to be able to specify exactly

因为我们希望能明确指出

what we want the other person to increase or diminish.

自己到底想让对方 做得更多还是更少，

And if we stick with blur words,

而如果我们总是用词模糊，

they actually won't have any clue particularly

对方也就搞不清

what to do going forward to keep repeating that behavior.

接下来要反复执行的是什么行为。

The third part of the feedback formula is the impact statement.

四步诀的第三步是“论影响”。

Here, you name exactly how that data point impacted you.

你要说明刚刚摆出的事实 怎样影响到你了。

So, for example, I might say, "Because I didn't get the message,

举个例子，我会说， “因为我没收到信息，

I was blocked on my work and couldn't move forward"

我的工作进度受到了影响， 无法继续。”

or "I really liked how you added those stories,

或者说，“我很喜欢 你加的那些故事，

because it helped me grasp the concepts faster."

因为它们能让我更快地理解概念。”

It gives you a sense of purpose

这样能让你感知到其中的

and meaning and logic between the points,

目的、含义和不同要点之间的逻辑，

which is something the brain really craves.

而这才是大脑真正需要的。

The fourth part of the feedback formula is a question.

四步诀的第四步是“提问题”。

Great feedback givers wrap their feedback message with a question.

善于反馈的人会用一个问题 来总结他们的反馈信息。

They'll ask something like,

他们会这样问：

"Well, how do you see it?"

“那么，你怎么看？”

Or "This is what I'm thinking we should do,

或是“我认为我们应该这么做，

but what are your thoughts on it?"

而你对此又是怎么想的呢？”

What it does is it creates commitment rather than just compliance.

它的作用在于 让人应承，而非应付；

It makes the conversation no longer be a monologue,

让对话不再是单方独白，

but rather becomes a joint problem-solving situation.

而是一个合力解决问题的场景。

But there's one last thing.

还有最后一点。

Great feedback givers not only can say messages well,

善于提供反馈者 不但能有效地表达信息，

but also, they ask for feedback regularly.

他们还会定期寻求反馈。

In fact, our research on perceived leadership

实际上，我们对于 感知领导力的研究显示，

shows that you shouldn't wait for feedback to be given to you --

你不该被动地等待反馈——

what we call push feedback --

我们称之为“推送反馈”——

but rather, you should actively ask for feedback,

相反，你应该主动寻求反馈，

what we call pulling feedback.

我们称其为“拉取反馈”。

Pulling feedback establishes you as a continual learner

拉取反馈能让你成为 一名持续学习者，

and puts the power in your hands.

将主动权掌握在自己的手里。

The most challenging situations

最具挑战性的

are actually the ones that call for the most skillful feedback.

其实是那些要求具备 高超反馈技巧的场景，

But it doesn't have to be hard.

但做到这一点并没有那么难。

Now that you know this four-part formula,

现在你学到了这四步诀，

you can mix and match it to make it work for any difficult conversation.

如何在各式艰难的对话中应用， 就由你尽情发挥了。