Jill Sobule & Julia Sweeney: The Jill & Julia Show

翻译人员: Xiaoyi Sun 校对人员: Jenny Yang

♫ Jill Sobule: At a conference in Monterey by the big, big jellyfish tank, ♫

在蒙特瑞开会期间, 在一个大大的海蛰缸旁边

♫ I first saw you and I got so shy. ♫

我先看到你, 然后有些害羞

♫ You see, I was a little paranoid 'cause I might have been high. ♫

你要知道, 我有些多疑, 因为我有可能“瘾”过头了

♫ And I hadn't done that in ages and I won't do that again. ♫

我好多年都没“过瘾”了, 我不会再这样做了

♫ But that's another story. ♫

可这是另一回事儿

♫ Loved you forever and I've been a big fan, ♫

一直喜欢你, 是你的大"粉丝"

♫ the one-woman shows, I even rented "Pat." ♫

你的一人秀, 我甚至还租看了你的电影"帕蒂"

♫ I got enough nerve to come up to you, ♫

我壮着胆儿向你走过去

♫ but little did I know one year later we'd be doing this show. ♫

殊不知, 一年后, 我们竟然会在这里一起表演

♫ I sing. Julia Sweeney: I tell stories. Together: The Jill and Julia Show. ♫

我唱歌, (朱丽娅斯文内:) 我讲故事. (合:) 吉儿和朱丽婭秀

♫ Sobule: Sometimes it works. Sweeney: Sometimes it doesn't. ♫

(索布尔:) 有时灵, (斯文内:) 有时不灵

♫ Together: The Jill and Julia Show. ♫

(合:) 吉儿和朱丽婭秀

♫ Sweeney: At a conference in Monterey next to the big, big jellyfish tank, ♫

在蒙特瑞开会期间, 在一个大大的海蛰缸旁边

♫ I first saw you and I wasn't so shy. ♫

我先看到你，我并不怎么害羞

I made a beeline for you and told you what a huge fan I was

我径直向你奔去，告诉你我是你的大‘粉丝’

ever since I was writing that pilot for Fox, and Wendy

从我还有雯迪为福克斯电视频道写那个首集电视剧开始，

and I wanted you to do the theme song.

我当时想让你唱那个主题歌

And then the pilot didn't go and I was so sad,

可后来那个电视剧没成，我很伤心

but I kept remaining a fan of yours.

可我一直是你的‘粉丝’

And then when I went through that big, horrible breakup with Carl

再后来，我和卡尔分手了，折腾得我不轻

and I couldn't get off the couch, I listened to your song,

我一直赖在沙发上，听你的歌

♫ "Now That I Don't Have You," ♫ over and over and over and over again.

那首 "现在没有了你," 听了一遍，一遍，又一遍

And I can't believe you're here and that I'm meeting you here at TED.

没想到你会在这里，我竟然在TED遇见你

And also, I can't believe that we're eating sushi

还有，想不到我们竟然在吃寿司

in front of the fish tank,

就在鱼缸前

which, personally, I think is really inappropriate.

我个人认为，这很不适当

(Laughter)

（笑声）

(Applause)

（掌声）

And little did I know that one year later ... ♫ we'd be doing this show. ♫

殊不知一年后，我们会在这里一起表演

♫ Sobule: I sing. Sweeney: I tell stories. Together: The Jill and Julia Show. ♫

（索布尔：）我唱歌, (朱丽娅斯文内): 我讲故事. (合): 吉儿和朱丽婭秀

Sobule: Hey, they asked us back! Sweeney: Can you stand it?!

（索布尔：）嘿，他们再次请我们表演！（斯文内：）你们受得了吗？

♫ Together: The Jill and Julia, the Jill and Julia, the Jill and Julia Show. ♫

（合）吉儿和朱丽婭秀，吉儿和朱丽婭秀，吉儿和朱丽婭秀

♫ Sobule: Why are all our heroes so imperfect? ♫

索布尔：为什么我们所有的英雄都很不完美？

♫ Why do they always bring me down? ♫

为什么他们总让我很沮丧？

♫ Why are all our heroes so imperfect? ♫

为什么我们所有的英雄都很不完美？

♫ Statue in the park has lost his crown. ♫

公园里的雕像丢失了头冠

♫ William Faulkner, drunk and depressed. ♫ Sweeney: Mmm.

威廉福克纳(William Faulkern)，酗酒又消沉

♫ Dorothy Parker, mean, drunk and depressed. ♫ Sweeney: I know.

多萝西帕克(Dorothy Parker)，吝啬，酗酒，又消沉

♫ And that guy, "Seven Years in Tibet," turned out to be a Nazi. ♫ Sweeney: Yeah.

还有那个家伙，"西藏七年," 结果是个纳粹

♫ Founding fathers all had slaves. ♫ Sweeney: I know.

国父们都有过奴隶

♫ The explorers slaughtered the braves. ♫ Sweeney: Horribly.

探险家们杀戮了勇者。(斯文内:) 很残忍

♫ Sobule: The Old Testament God can be so petty. ♫

(索布尔:) "旧约"里的上帝会是那样小气

Sweeney: Don't get me started on that. (Laughter)

(斯文内:) 别提了。

♫ Sobule: Paul McCartney, jealous of John, even more so now that he's gone. ♫

(索布尔:) 保罗麦卡特尼(Paul McCartney)嫉妒约翰 (John Lennon)，现在约翰不在了，反而更嫉妒

♫ Dylan was so mean to Donovan in that movie. ♫

在那部电影里，迪伦(Dylan)对(Donovan)很刻薄

♫ Pablo Picasso, cruel to his wives. ♫ Sweeney: Horrible.

帕布罗毕加索(Pablo Picasso)对他的太太们很凶。(斯文内:) 糟透了。

♫ Sobule: My favorite poets took their own lives. ♫

(索布尔:) 我最喜爱的诗人都自杀身亡。

♫ Orson Welles peaked at twenty-five, below before our eyes. ♫

奥逊威尔斯(Orson Welles)在二十五岁时就登上事业巅峰，在我们眼皮子底下变得越来越胖

♫ And he sold bad wine. ♫

他还卖过很糟糕的葡萄酒

♫ Together: Why are all our heroes so imperfect? Yeah ♫

(合:) 为什么我们所有的英雄都很不完美？

♫ Why do they always bring me down? ♫

为什么他们让我很沮丧？

♫ Sobule: Heard Babe Ruth was full of malice. ♫ Sweeney: Oh.

(索布尔:) 听说贝贝鲁斯(Babe Ruth)一肚子坏心眼儿

♫ Lewis Carroll I'm sure did Alice. ♫ Sweeney: What?!

我肯定路易斯卡罗(Lewis Carroll)干过爱丽丝 (Alice)

♫ Plato in the cave with those very young boys. ♫ Sweeney: Ooh...

柏拉图在洞里和那些男孩子们在一起。(斯文内:) 哎哟...

♫ Sobule: Hillary supported the war. ♫

(索布尔:) 希拉里曾支持过战争

♫ Sweeney: Even Thomas Friedman supported the war. ♫ (Laughter)

(斯文内:) 甚至汤姆斯福来德曼(Thomas Friedman)也支持过战争

♫ Sobule: Colin Powell turned out to be ... Together: ... such a pussy. ♫ (Laughter) (Applause)

(索布尔:) 科林鲍威尔(Colin Powell)结果是个-- （合）简直是个窝囊废

♫ Sobule: William Faulkner, drunk and depressed, ♫

(索布尔:) 威廉福克纳 (William Faulkner)，酗酒又消沉

♫ Tennessee Williams, drunk and depressed. ♫ Sweeney: Yeah.

田纳西威廉斯(tennessee Williams)，酗酒又消沉

♫ Sobule: Take it, Julia. ♫

索布尔：该你了，朱丽娅

Sweeney: Okay. Oprah was never necessarily a big hero of mine.

斯文内：好吧，奥帕拉(oprah)对我来说并不算是个什么大英雄

I mean, I watch Oprah mostly when I'm home in Spokane

我是说，我通常是在斯珀坎家中看奥帕拉秀

visiting my mother. And to my mother,

去看我母亲的时候。对我母亲来说，

Oprah is a greater moral authority than the Pope,

奥帕拉是个比教皇更伟大的道德权威

which is actually saying something because she's a devout Catholic.

这点可是非同小可，因为她是个虔诚的天主教徒

Anyway, I like Oprah -- I like her girlfriendy-ness,

话说回来，我喜欢奥帕拉。我喜欢她那种女友式的友善。

I like her weight issues,

我喜欢她如何面对体重问题。

I like how she's transformed talk television,

我喜欢她改变了脱口秀。

I like how she's brought reading back to America --

我喜灰她重焕美国人的读书热情。

but there was something that happened the last two weeks

可是两个星期前发生了一件事

that was ... I call it the Soon-Yi moment:

那件事-- 我称之为“宋宜”(Soon-Yi) 瞬间

it is the moment when I cannot continue supporting someone.

这一瞬间，我不能再继续支持某个人

And that was that she did two entire shows

就是这样，她有两场秀

promoting that movie "The Secret."

整场都在宣传电影“秘密”

Do you guys know about that movie "The Secret"?

你们知道这部电影“秘密”吗？

It makes "What the Bleep Do We Know" seem like a doctoral dissertation

这部电影使 "我们懂个X” (电影) 显得像是篇博士论文

from Harvard on quantum mechanics -- that's how bad it is.

哈佛大学量子力学的论文-- 这个电影就是这么糟

It makes "The DaVinci Code" seem like "War and Peace."

这个电影使“达芬奇密码”显得像是“战争与和平”

That movie is so horrible. It promotes such awful pseudoscience.

这部电影烂透了，宣传糟糕的伪科学

And the basic idea is

它大致上说的是

that there's this law of attraction, and

有这样一种“吸引力法则”

your thoughts have this vibrating energy

你的思想有这种振动的能量

that goes out into the universe

可以发出来进入宇宙

and then you attract good things to happen to you.

然后你会吸引好事在你身上发生

On a scientific basis, it's more than just "Power of Positive Thinking" --

根据科学，这远不止是“正面思考的力量”

it has a horrible, horrible dark side. Like if you get ill,

这有着极坏极坏的黑暗面。好像是在说，如果你生病了，

it's because you've just been thinking negative thoughts.

那是因为你一直有负面消极的想法

Yeah, stuff like that was in the movie and she's promoting it.

对，这部电影里就是这么一堆东西。奥帕拉竟然为其宣传

And all I'm saying is that I really wish that Murray Gell-Mann

我只不过想说，我真希望墨瑞盖尔曼(Murray Gell-Mann)

would go on Oprah

能够上奥帕拉秀

and just explain to her that the law of attraction is, in fact, not a law.

告诉她"“吸引力法则"其实不是一个法律。

So that's what I have to say.

我要说的就是这些。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

(Applause)

(掌声)

♫ Sobule: I sing. Sweeney: I tell stories. Together: The Jill and Julia Show. ♫

(索布尔:) 我唱歌. (朱丽娅斯文内:) 我讲故事. (合:) 吉儿和朱丽婭秀

♫ Sobule: Sometimes it works. Sweeney: Sometimes it doesn't. ♫

(索布尔:) 有时灵, (斯文内:) 有时不灵

♫ Together: The Jill and Julia, the Jill and Julia, the Jill and Julia Show. ♫

（合）吉儿和朱丽婭秀，吉儿和朱丽婭秀，吉儿和朱丽婭秀

(Applause)

(掌声)