Tracee Ellis Ross: A woman's fury holds lifetimes of wisdom | TED

翻译人员: Liu Qi 校对人员: Yolanda Zhang

So, I have a friend.

我的一个朋友，

She's an actress, she's in her 60s.

是个女演员，60多岁了。

She's super bright,

她非常睿智，

badass,

能力超群，

emotionally intelligent.

情商很高。

圣诞节前的一天，她去了趟邮局。

And a couple of days before Christmas, she was at the post office.

It was really crowded, as it is around the holidays,

因为马上要过节了，邮局里人很多，

and she was filling out some forms

她当时正在填表格，

and she was really focused.

专心致志地写着。

And out of nowhere, someone moved her out of the way --

不知道怎么回事， 突然有人把她推开了——

just physically put their hands on her and moved her out of the way.

那个人就那样用手 把她推到了一边。

He apparently needed something that she was blocking,

很明显，我朋友挡住了 那个人需要的东西，

so he moved her.

所以他推开了我朋友。

Maybe he had said something to her, maybe he didn't, she didn't hear it ...

可能他跟她说了什么，也许没有， 也可能是我朋友没听到...

不管怎样，她当时正专心填表，

Either way, she was focused, she was filling out the form.

然后就发现有人把手放在她身上，

And the next thing you know, there were hands on her,

接着她就被推开了。

and she was being moved out of the way.

He then got what he was reaching for,

那个人拿到了他想要的东西，

whatever she was blocking,

被我朋友挡住的东西，

and went on his merry way.

然后开心的走了。

She said that she was shocked at first --

她说，她一开始感到很震惊。

yeah.

是的。

And then a fury rose up in her that she could not explain:

接着一股无名怒火油然而生：

not annoyance,

不是气恼，

not frustration,

不是沮丧，

but "fury" was the word that she used.

她说的是“怒火”。

And she went on to say,

然后她接着说，

"I mean, I wanted to get physical.

“我的意思是，我都想打人了。

I don't know -- I was furious.

不知道怎么回事—— 当时真是恼火。

And I don't know why.

我也不知道为什么。

I mean, he didn't hit me.

他并没有打我，

He didn't hurt me,

没有伤害我，

he didn't violate me.

也没有侵犯我。

He moved me,

他只是挪开了我，

and I wanted to hurt him,

而我却想打他，

or at the very least,

或者至少，

run after him and yell in his face."

追过去当面骂他一顿。

So later, I was left pondering this fury,

和朋友分开后，我一直 在思索这种怒火，

and looking for an explanation as to why, even in her telling of it,

想弄明白为什么在她讲述的过程中，

I felt fury, too,

我也感到恼怒。

and why this was a word and a feeling that I was hearing a lot about lately.

为什么最近总是听说 这个词和这种感受。

I feel like this is the point in the room

我觉得现在这个会场里，

where all the men are getting a little bit uncomfortable.

男性们开始变得有点不安了。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

It's OK.

没事的。

Stay with me.

听我说。

This fury is something that I have been chomping on

上一届美国总统大选以来，

since the last US presidential election.

我一直思来想去的就是这种怒火。

And it seems that many women have.

好像很多女性都有这种感觉。

This fury was not my friend's alone.

恼怒的不只是我朋友一个。

Her fury was ignited

点燃她怒火的，

by lifetimes of men helping themselves to women's bodies

是长久以来，男性总是未经允许，

就对女性的身体动手动脚。

without consent.

There's a culture of men helping themselves to women,

这种侵犯成了一种文化，

and in this case,

而在这个例子中，

in a seemingly innocuous way,

从以一种看似无害的方式，

where a woman's body is like a saltshaker:

好像女性的身体就像盐瓶一样，

"Get out of the way so I can get to the fries" --

“让一让，我要拿那盘薯条”——

(Laughter)

（笑声）

to the most egregious,

走向极其过分的，

violent

暴力的，

and horrific situations.

甚至毛骨悚然的境地。

I imagine that some of you are wondering what the connection is

我想你们中的一些人可能在想，

between the innocuous and the horrific,

无害和毛骨悚然之间有什么联系，

two things that seem to be on opposite ends of the spectrum.

这二者看似分居情感空间的两端。

Well, the common thread is the spectrum.

而二者之间的线索正是情感空间。

The innocuous makes space for the horrific.

无害为毛骨悚然腾出了空间。

And women have to live with the effects of both

女性不得不受二者影响，

and everything in between.

在二者之间生存。

Fellas,

各位，

can you imagine you're just on your phone,

你能想象当你在打电话的时候，

and someone walks up to you and just takes it out of your hand?

有人走过来，然后直接 把电话从你手中拿走吗？

And they're like, "OK dude, I don't know why you're getting so upset,

而他们却一副无所谓的表情， “哥们，我不知道这有什么好生气的。

I want to make a phone call.

我想打个电话。

I'm going to give it back to you as soon as I'm done.

打完电话就还给你。

没什么大不了的。”

Whatever."

And then imagine if someone takes that cell phone out of your hands --

再想像一下，如果每天都有人

I don't know -- once a day,

从你手中拿走电话，

twice a day,

或者一天两次，

random times.

无数次。

And the explanation is,

理由是，

"Yeah, well, I mean, you got a fancy case,"

“你的手机壳很好看，”

or "You shouldn't have taken it out of your pocket,"

或者“你不该把手机从兜里拿出来，”

or "Yep. Yeah.

或者“是啊，没错。

That's just the way it is."

我就是拿了。“

But somehow, no one ever talks about the person who took the cell phone.

但是没有人去职责指责 那个拿别人手机的人。

Overly simplified, I get it,

我知道我说的有点简单粗暴。

but you see where I'm going.

但是你们知道我想说的是什么。

Men are so used to helping themselves, that it's like ...

男性太习惯于不问自取，

they can't help themselves.

就好像他们会情不自禁一样。

And not because men are fundamentally less moral,

并不是因为男性天生道德感不强，

but because this is a very big blind spot for most men.

而是因为对于大多数男性 来说，这是一大盲点。

When someone helps themselves to a woman,

当有人下意识地替女性做主时，

it not only triggers discomfort and distress,

就会勾起我们那些难过，痛苦， 甚至难言的经历，

but the unspoken experiences of our mothers' lives,

曾经存在于我们母亲的生命中，

sisters' lives

我们姐妹的生命中，

and generations of women before us.

乃至古往今来所有女性的生命中。

That's lifetimes of women dealing with men

世世代代，女性都要 和那些男性打交道，

who assume they know better for us than we know for ourselves,

他们自以为比女性自己 更明白什么是为我们好，

being the property of husbands,

成为丈夫的财产，

landowners,

地主的财产，

and having old, white men tell us the fate of our lady parts;

由着白人老头决定 我们女性私处的命运；

lifetimes of having our bodies used for love and objects of desire,

世世代代，我们的身体 成为爱和欲望的对象，

instead of bodies that we get to wield and use as we choose;

而不是按照我们自己的选择 来支配我们的身体；

lifetimes of knowing that whether we play by their rules or not,

世世代代，不论我们是不是 按照他们的规则生活，

we still have to tolerate harassment,

我们仍然不得不忍受骚扰，

assault

攻击，

and even worse;

甚至更糟糕的行为；

lifetimes of our bodies being used as property that can be hit and hurt,

世世代代，我们的身体就像 物品，可以被殴打，伤害，

manipulated and moved

被摆布，被推开，

and like objects that are not deserving of respect;

像物品一样不值得尊重。

lifetimes of not being able to express the anger of our bodies.

世世代代，我们无法表达身体的愤怒。

It's no wonder we feel this fury.

难怪我们会感到恼怒。

And if you add in the history of race --

如果追溯到种族的历史——

which is a whole other talk --

那是另一个话题了——

it gets exponentially more complicated.

这种怒火会变得加倍复杂。

When women get manhandled, we start to rationalize,

当女性受到粗暴对待时，我们 开始试图将该行为合理化，

try to figure out the ways that it was --

试着弄清其中的原因——

"It was probably our fault.

“可能是我的错。

You know what? He probably said something, and I didn't hear him.

你知道吗，可能他说了 什么，是我自己没听见。

I'm just overreacting.

我有点小题大作了。

I'm totally overreacting."

是我太小题大作了。“

No.

不。

No.

没有。

No.

不是这样的。

No, no, no, no, no.

这样想就大错特错了。

Women have been trained to think that we are overreacting

一直以来，女性都被要求 去反省自己小题大作，

or that we're being too sensitive or unreasonable.

反省自己的敏感和无理。

We try to make sense of nonsense,

我们试着去理解这些无理的事情，

and we swallow the furious feelings.

然后我们咽下恼火的情绪。

We try to put them into some hidden place in our minds,

试着把怒火放到 脑海中隐蔽的地方，

but they don't go away.

但是怒火并没有消失。

That fury sits deep inside as we practice our smiles --

当我们练习微笑的时候， 怒火依然在脑海深处——

(Giggling) "Yes, of course" --

（咯咯笑）“是的，当然”——

努力让自己笑脸迎人。

and try to be pleasant.

"I know --" (Giggling) "Yes, yes, of course,"

“我知道——” （咯咯笑） “是，是，当然了，”

because apparently, women aren't supposed to get angry.

因为很明显，大家都 认为女性不应该生气。

That fury that my friend felt holds centuries

我朋友感受的那种恼火 承载了数个世纪以来，

of never being able to directly address or express our indignation,

未能直接说出，或抒发出来的愤慨，

our frustration

挫败，

and our rage.

和愤怒。

When someone thinks they can help themselves to our bodies,

当有人认为他们可以 替我们的身体做主时，

it not only ignites the current fury,

不仅点燃了现下的怒火，

but it lights up the past.

更点燃了过去。

What seems like a benign moment at the post office

在邮局看似无害的一幕，

is actually an anger grenade.

其实是一枚愤怒的手榴弹。

Well,

然后，

kaboom!

轰！

Today, the global collection of women's experiences

今天全球女性的经历，

can no longer be ignored.

已不能再被忽视了。

Time's up on thinking that we're overreacting

别再怪自己小题大作了，

or "This is just the way it is."

或者觉得“本来就是这样的吧。”

Time's up on women being held responsible

现在不再是女性

为男性的错误行为负责的时候了。

for men's bad behavior.

It is men's responsibility to change men's bad behavior.

男性应该负责改变自己的不当行为。

(Applause)

（掌声）

Our culture is shifting,

我们的文化正在变迁，

and it's time.

是时候改变了。

So my fellow women

我的女性同胞们，

and our gentle men,

我们的绅士们，

as we are here together within this particular window

我们在此相聚一堂，

of this large-scale movement towards women's equality,

在这个大规模女性平等 运动的特殊窗口，

and as we envision a future that does not yet exist,

当我们展望着一个尚未来临的未来，

we both have different invitations.

我们收到了不同的请柬。

Men,

男性们，

I call you in as allies,

来吧，我的盟友们，

as we work together towards change.

让我们一同向着变迁，携手同行。

May you be accountable and self-reflective,

愿你们富有责任心，自省心，

compassionate and open.

同情心和包容心。

May you ask how you can support a woman and be of service to change.

愿你们去了解如何支持 女性，如何推动变革。

And may you get help if you need it.

愿你们在需要的时候得到帮助。

And women,

女性们，

I encourage you

我要鼓励你们

to acknowledge your fury.

去认识你的怒火。

Give it language.

用语言去表达你的怒火。

Share it in safe places of identification

在安全的地方，

and in safe ways.

以安全的方式分享你的怒火。

Your fury is not something to be afraid of.

不要害怕你的怒火。

It holds lifetimes of wisdom.

它承载了世代的智慧。

Let it breathe

让它呼吸，

and listen.

聆听它。

Thank you.

谢谢大家。

(Applause)

（掌声）

Thank you.

感谢大家。

(Applause)

（掌声）