How to teach kids to talk about taboo topics | Liz Kleinrock

翻译人员: Y H 校对人员: Yinchun Rui

So, a few years ago,

几年前

I was beginning a new unit on race with my fourth-graders.

我要开始教四年级学生新的课程， 是关于种族的。

And whenever we start a new unit,

每次开始新的课程前，

I like to begin by having all the students list everything they know about it,

我会让学生们列举一下 他们对其内容已有的认知，

and then we also list questions we have.

也会让他们聊聊对这一课的疑问。

And I had the type of moment that every teacher has nightmares about.

有一次我遇到一个问题， 那简直是所有老师的噩梦，

One of my students had just asked the question,

我的一个学生问我，

"Why are some people racist?"

“为什么有人是种族主义者？”

And another student, let's call her Abby,

另一个学生，我们叫她Abby吧，

had just raised her hand and volunteered:

Abby主动举手回答说，

"Maybe some people don't like black people because their skin is the color of poop."

“有些人不喜欢黑人，可能是因为 他们的肤色像粪便一样。”

Yeah, I know.

没错。。。

So, as if on cue, my entire class exploded.

果然，全班就炸翻天了

Half of them immediately started laughing,

一半的学生笑了起来，

and the other half started yelling at Abby

另一半的学生开始朝Abby大喊

and shouting things like,

比如，

"Oh, my God, you can't say that, that's racist!"

“天哪，你不能说这种话， 那是种族歧视！”

So just take a second to freeze this scene in your mind.

你可以在脑海中定格这一幕吗？

There's a class of nine- and ten-year-olds,

一个班上都是九岁十岁的孩子，

and half of them are in hysterics

一半人笑疯了

because they think Abby has said something wildly funny,

因为他们觉得Abby刚才说的话 超级好笑，

and the other half are yelling at her for saying something offensive.

另一半人被她的话冒犯到了， 正朝着她大声嚷嚷。

And then you have Abby, sitting there completely bewildered

而Abby自己呢，坐在那里完全懵掉了

because, in her mind, she doesn't understand the weight of what she said

她并不理解自己刚才说的话的份量，

and why everybody is reacting this way.

也不明白为什么其他人的反应。

And then you have me, the teacher,

还有作为老师的我，

standing there in the corner, like, about to have a panic attack.

我站在角落里，快要晕过去了。

So as a classroom teacher,

不过，作为老师必须具备的素养是

I have to make split-second decisions all the time.

在一刹那间快速做决定的能力，

And I knew I needed to react, but how?

所以我知道我必须立刻采取行动， 但是我应该怎么做？

Consider your fight-or-flight instincts.

想一下战斗或逃跑反应。

I could fight by raising my voice and reprimanding her for her words.

我可以选择“战斗”， 也就是提高我的音量训斥她，

Or flight -- just change the subject

我也可以选择“逃跑”， 也就是转移话题

and quickly start reaching for another subject,

赶紧聊聊其他的话题，

like anything to get my students' minds off the word "poop."

好让学生们不要再去想 跟粪便有关的事。

However, as we know, the right thing to do is often not the easy thing to do.

但是众所周知，正确的选项往往不是 容易的选项

And as much as I wanted this moment to be over,

尽管我非常希望这一刻快快结束，

and that I knew both of these options would help me escape the situation,

且这两个选项都可以让我 逃避这个局面，

I knew that this was far too important of a teachable moment to miss.

我深知这是一个不容错过的 重要的教学时刻。

So after standing there for what felt like an eternity,

我在那里站着的时候， 时间仿佛冻结了，

I unfroze and I turned to face my class, and I said,

但我终于打破僵局， 面向全班的学生说，

"Actually, Abby makes a point."

“其实呢，Abby说得有些道理。”

And my students kind of looked at each other, all confused.

学生们面面相觑，很困惑的样子

And I continued,

我接着说，

"One reason why racism exists

“种族歧视存在的原因之一，

is because people with light skin have looked at people with dark skin

是因为浅色皮肤的人们 看着深色皮肤的人们说

and said that their skin was ugly.

他们的肤色太丑了。

And even use this reason as an excuse to dehumanize them.

甚至用这个理由 来贬低他们的人性。

And the reason why we're learning about race and racism in the first place

我们之所以要学习 有关种族和种族歧视的知识，

is to educate ourselves to know better.

是要让自己知道得更多一些，

And to understand why comments like this are hurtful,

去了解为什么这样的言论很伤人，

and to make sure that people with dark skin

去保证深色皮肤的人

are always treated with respect and kindness."

都能获得尊重和友善。”

Now, this was a truly terrifying teachable moment.

这是一个骇人的教学时刻，

But as we moved forward in the conversation,

但是随着讨论的进行，

I noticed that both Abby and the rest of the kids

我注意到Abby和其他的孩子们

were still willing to engage.

还是表现地很积极。

And as I watched the conversation really marinate with my students,

我看着学生们沉浸在这些对话中，

I began to wonder how many of my students have assumptions just like Abby.

我开始猜想，有多少学生会有 Abby有的假设。

And what happens when those assumptions go unnoticed and unaddressed,

而这些假设若没有被注意到， 没有被讨论，

as they so often do?

那将会怎么样呢？

But first, I think it's important to take a step back

让我们退一步来想一想，

and even consider what makes a topic taboo.

是什么使得一个话题成为禁忌？

I don't remember receiving an official list of things

我不记得有哪一张清单上面

you're not supposed to talk about.

列出了所有你不应该讨论的事情。

But I do remember hearing, over and over, growing up:

但我却记得在我长大的过程中，

there are two things you do not talk about at family get-togethers.

有两件事你不能 在家庭聚会的时候讨论，

And those two things are religion and politics.

那就是宗教和政治。

And I always thought this was very curious

而我总是挺好奇这是为什么的，

because religion and politics often are such huge influencing factors

因为宗教和政治往往对于 每一个人的自我定位和信念

over so many of our identities and beliefs.

有着举足轻重的影响。

But what makes a topic taboo

是什么使得一个话题成为禁忌呢？

is that feeling of discomfort that arises when these things come up in conversation.

是在这些对话中产生的不舒服感。

But some people are extremely fluent in the language of equity,

有些人很擅长聊有关公正公平的话题，

while other people fear being PC-shamed

有些人却担心自己的观点 不够政治正确而遭到嘲讽

or that their ignorance will show as soon as they open their mouths.

或是担心他们一开口 就暴露了他们的无知。

But I believe that the first step towards holding conversations

我认为，要展开有关公平公正的对话

about things like equity

第一步是需要

is to begin by building a common language.

建立一个共同的语言。

And that actually starts with destigmatizing topics

而这个共同的语言，首先需要建立在

that are typically deemed taboo.

打破禁忌话题的基础上。

Now, conversations around race, for example,

举个例子：关于种族的话题

have their own specific language

有其独特的语言，

and students need to be fluent in this language

学生们需要擅长这门语言，

in order to have these conversations.

才能顺利地开展对话。

Now, schools are often the only place

学校往往是唯一一个

where students can feel free and comfortable

使学生们觉得自由和安全，

to ask questions and make mistakes.

是让他们敢于提问和犯错误的地方。

But, unfortunately, not all students feel that sense of security.

不幸的是，不是所有学生都觉得有安全感。

Now, I knew that day in front of my fourth-graders

那一天，我知道在我的四年级学生面前，

that how I chose to respond could actually have life-long implications

我采取怎样的回应，很可能对Abby， 还有其他学生

not only for Abby, but for the rest of the students in my class.

产生终身的影响。

If I had brushed her words aside,

如果我把她的话置之不理，

the rest of the class could actually infer that this type of comment is acceptable.

会让学生们产生错觉， 以为这样的言论是可以接受的。

But if I had yelled at Abby

如果我训斥她，

and embarrassed her in front of all of her friends,

让她在全班同学面前难堪，

that feeling of shame associated with one of her first conversations on race

这是她第一次有有关种族的谈话， 如果是伴随着这样的耻辱感

could actually prevent her from ever engaging on that topic again.

可能会使得她以后再也不愿意 参与到这个话题中了。

Now, teaching kids about equity in schools is not teaching them what to think.

在学校教育孩子公正公平 不是给他们灌输思想，

It is about giving them the tools and strategies and language

而是赋予他们工具、计策、语言、 和机会

and opportunities to practice how to think.

让他们可以操练自己的思想。

For example, think about how we teach kids how to read.

举个例子，想一下我们 是怎么教孩子读书的。

We don't start by giving them books.

我们不是直接丢一本书过去，

We start by breaking down words into letters and sounds

我们是逐字逐句地 教他们字母和读音，

and we encourage them to practice their fluency by reading every single day,

而且我们鼓励他们 和小伙伴们一起

with a partner or with their friends.

每天读书，日益精通。

And we give them lots of comprehension questions

我们给他们出很多阅读理解题目

to make sure that they're understanding what they're reading.

以确保他们读懂了。

And I believe that teaching kids about equity

我认为，教育孩子公正公平，

should be approached in the exact same way.

也需要采取这样的方法。

I like to start by giving my students a survey every year,

我每年都给学生们出一个问卷， 有关公平和包容，

about different issues around equity and inclusion.

考察他们对于这些话题的认知。

And this is a sample survey from one of my kids,

这是其中一个孩子写的问卷

and as you can see, there's some humor in here.

其中还有些小幽默，

For under the question, "What is race?"

这个题目是“种族是什么？” （注：race也可以指赛跑）

she has written, "When two or more cars, people and animals

她的回答是，“当多于或等于两辆车， 两个人和两只动物

run to see who is fastest and who wins."

一起赛跑，比谁跑得快，比谁赢。”

However, if you look at her question, "What is racism?"

但你再看下一个问题“种族歧视是什么？”

it says, "When somebody says or calls someone dark-skinned a mean name."

她的回答是，“当某人用坏名字 称呼一个深色皮肤的人。”

So, she's young, but she's showing that she's beginning to understand.

她很年幼，却已经懂一些了。

And when we act

如果我们表现得好像

like our students aren't capable of having these conversations,

我们的学生不能够胜任这样的对话，

we actually do them such a disservice.

那我们其实是在帮倒忙。

Now, I also know that these types of conversations

我知道这一类的话题

can seem really, really intimidating with our students,

对于我们的学生来说 可能挺吓人的，

especially with young learners.

特别是年幼的学生。

But I have taught first through fifth grades,

但是，从一年级到五年级的学生 我都教过了，

and I can tell you, for example,

我可以告诉你们，

that I'm not going to walk into a first-grade classroom

我不会走进一个一年级班，

and start talking about things like mass incarceration.

一上来就讨论大规模监禁的话题。

But even a six-year-old first-grader can understand the difference

但一个六岁的一年级学生 已经可以听懂公平和平等的区别了，

between what is fair -- people getting what they need.

什么是公平：人们各取所需

We identified a lot of these things in class together.

这些都是我们会在班上一起讨论的。

And the difference between fair and equal --

以及什么是平等：人们获得一样的东西

when everybody gets the same thing,

especially goody bags at birthday parties.

特别是生日派对上的礼包。

Now, first-graders can also understand the difference

同样的，一年级学生也可以听懂 惩罚和后果的区别。

between a punishment and a consequence.

And all of these things are foundational concepts

这些都是最基础的概念

that anyone needs to understand

是所有人都需要理解的，

before having a conversation

是展开有关大规模监禁 话题讨论的基础。

about mass incarceration in the United States.

Some people might think that kindergarteners or first-graders

有人可能会觉得幼儿园 和一年级学生还太年轻，

are too young to have conversations around racism,

不能跟他们聊有关种族的话题，

but also tell you that young kids

那我也可以告诉你们，

understand that there are many different components

这些孩子知道有很多不同的因素

that make up our identities

构建了他们的身份，

and how people are similar and different,

他们也知道人们都有相似和不同之处，

and what it means to have power when other people don't.

他们也知道有些人有权势， 有些人没有。

When we have these conversations with students at a young age,

如果我们从小就让孩子 参与到这些话题中，

it actually takes away some of that taboo feeling

就可以带走这些话题的禁忌感

when those topics come up at a later age.

他们长大后遇到这些话题时 不会觉得难以启齿。

I also know that teaching about these things in schools

我也知道在学校教这些东西，

can feel like navigating a minefield.

好像是在跨越雷区。

For example, what happens if parents or families

如果家长或抚养人不认可 在学校里开展这些话题呢？

aren't on board with having these conversations in schools?

But to these people, I can say:

面对这些人，我会说，

these are some examples of things that students have said to me

我会举一些例子， 是学生们告诉我的事。

and brought to my attention.

For example, I had a student come in and whisper to me,

比如，有个学生走过来悄悄地对我说，

"I've heard all these people use the term LGBTQ,

“我听到很多人说到LGBTQ这个词，

but I don't know what it means and I'm too embarrassed to admit it."

我不知道那是什么意思， 但我不好意思说我不知道。“

I had a student come in over a weekend and come up to me and say,

有个学生周末来告诉我，

"You know, I just watched this movie about Australia,

“你知道吗，我刚看了一个 有关澳大利亚的电影，

and it made me wonder if they have racism there, too."

我在想他们那儿 是不是也有种族歧视。“

And I always want my students to be comfortable having these conversations

我一直都很希望我的学生们 可以自然地参与到这些话题中，

because when they're comfortable talking about it and asking questions,

因为当他们可以自然地讨论 这些话题时，

they also build comfort in bringing in their own lives and experiences

他们才有可能把自己的生活经历 带入其中，

in how they relate to these big topics.

与这些更大的话题产生联系。

Also, some teachers might be kind of nervous

有些老师可能会感到紧张，

if a student brings up a topic or asks a question

若学生提出一个问题，

and they don't know the answer to it.

可是老师不知道怎么回答， 怎么办？

But if a student ever brings something to my attention

每当学生问我一件事，

and I don't know the answer,

我不知道答案的时候，

I will always admit it and own it

我总是承认说，我不知道。

because I'm not going to pretend to be an expert in something

当我缺少某方面的经历， 或者不是权威的时候

that I don't have experience in or I'm not an authority on.

我不会假装我是专家。

That same year, I had a student come in

同一年，有个学生来问我

and ask a question about the LGBTQ community.

一个有关LGBTQ社群的问题，

And I just didn't know enough to give them an appropriate answer.

我确实了解得不够多， 所以不能很好地回答。

So instead, I encouraged that student

所以，我鼓励那个学生去问另一个人，

to reach out and ask that question to a representative of a nonprofit

那个人是一个非营利组织的代表

who had come to speak to our class about that very same issue.

之前来过班上聊过这个话题。

When we admit to our students that we don't have all the answers,

当我们向学生承认自己 没有所有问题的答案时，

not only does it humanize us to them,

不仅拉近了我们和他们的距离，

it also shows them that adults have a long way to go, too,

更是向他们展示 了，

when it comes to learning about issues of equity.

关于公平公正的话题， 成年人也有很长的路要走。

Now, a little while back, I wrote a lesson about consent.

不久前我写了一节课的教学方案， 是有关“征得同意”的

And, to some people, this was very exciting

对一些人来说，这是令人激动的

because I took this topic that seemed very taboo and scary

因为这个看起来很禁忌， 很吓人的话题，

and I broke it down into a way that was accessible for young learners.

我用年轻的学生可以 理解的方式呈现了出来

However, to other people,

但是另一些人，

the idea of consent is so strongly tied to sex,

他们觉得“征得同意”和 “性行为”的关联太紧密了

and sex is often considered a taboo subject,

而性行为通常被认为是一个禁忌话题，

that it made them very uncomfortable.

所以他们觉得很不舒服。

But my students are third-graders,

但我的学生们才三年级，

so we're not talking about sex in class.

我们不是要在课上讨论性行为。

Rather, I wanted them to understand

我需要他们理解的是，

that everybody has different physical boundaries

每一个人都有不同的肢体上的界限

that make them feel comfortable.

在这个界限以内，他们会感到舒适的。

And the social and emotional intelligence it takes

通过察言观色 来理解某个人的肢体语言，

to read somebody's words and tone and body language

这样的社交和感知能力

are skills that often need to be explicitly taught,

是需要被明确教导的，

the same way we teach things like reading and math.

和教导阅读和数学一样。

And this lesson is not reserved for students of one single demographic.

这样的课程不仅仅是 某一类的学生才需要的，

Things like questioning and making observations

有关提问、观察、和辩证思考的课程

and critical thinking

are things that any student of any race or ethnicity

是任何一个学生，无论种族、背景、语言、 收入、地理位置

or background or language or income or zip code should be learning in schools.

需要在学校里学习的。

Also, deliberate avoidance of these conversations

还有，如果刻意逃避这些话题，

speaks volumes to our students

对于学生来说，是体现出一些问题的。

because kids notice when their teachers, when their textbooks

因为当老师和教科书遗漏了 女性和有色人群的声音和经历，

leave out the voices and experiences of people like women or people of color.

孩子们是会注意到的，

Silence speaks volumes.

问题是不言而喻的。

I recently asked my class of third-graders

我最近问了我的三年级班

what they would say to adults who think they're too young

问他们想对轻视他们的成年人说些什么

to learn about issues of equity.

这些成年人觉得他们还太年轻， 学不了有关公平公正的话题。

And while this is a small sample of my 25 students,

这是很小的一个样本，25个学生，

all of them agreed

但他们一致同意，

that not only are they capable of having these conversations,

他们不仅能够开展相关的对话， 在他们看来，

but they view it, the right to learn it, as a right and not as a privilege.

他们有权利学习这些话题， 权利，而不是特权。

And, in their words:

用他们的原话说，

"We're big enough to know about these things

“我们的年纪够大了，可以理解这些事情了，

because these problems are happening where we live.

因为这些问题就发生在我们身边，

And we have the right to talk about them

我们有权利谈论，

because it will be our life in the future."

因为这将是我们的未来。”

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause)

（掌声）