What it's like to be a transgender dad | LB Hannahs

Prevodilac: Dragana Savanovic Lektor: Ivana Korom

So the other morning I went to the grocery store

Pre neko jutro sam otišao u prodavnicu

and an employee greeted me

i zaposleni me pozdravio sa:

with a "Good morning, sir, can I help you with anything?"

„Dobro jutro, gospodine, mogu li Vam pomoći?“

I said, "No, thanks, I'm good."

Rekao sam: „Ne, hvala, sve je u redu.“

The person smiled and we went our separate ways.

Ta osoba se nasmešila i otišli smo svako svojim putem.

I grabbed Cheerios and I left the grocery store.

Uzeo sam pahuljice i izašao iz prodavnice.

And I went through the drive-through of a local coffee shop.

Otišao sam u drive-through jednog lokalnog kafića.

After I placed my order, the voice on the other end said,

Nakon što sam naručio, glas sa druge strane je rekao:

"Thank you, ma'am. Drive right around."

„Hvala gospođo. Prođite napred.“

Now, in the span of less than an hour,

Za manje od sat vremena,

I was understood both as a "sir" and as a "ma'am."

oslovili su me i sa „gospodine“ i sa „gospođo.“

But for me, neither of these people are wrong,

Što se mene tiče, niko nije pogrešio,

but they're also not completely right.

ali nisu ni u potpunosti u pravu.

This cute little human is my almost-two-year-old Elliot.

Ovo slatko malo biće je moja skoro dvogodišnja kćerka Eliot.

Yeah, alright.

Da, tako je.

And over the past two years,

Tokom protekle dve godine,

this kid has forced me to rethink the world

ovo dete me je nateralo da preispitam svet

and how I participate in it.

i kako učestvujem u njemu.

I identify as transgender and as a parent, that makes me a transparent.

Identifikujem se kao trans i kao roditelj što me čini transroditeljem.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

(Cheering)

(Navijanje)

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

As you can see, I took this year's theme super literal.

Kao što vidite, shvatio sam ovogodišnju temu previše bukvalno.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Like any good dad joke should.

Kao što bi i svaki tata koji voli šalu.

More specifically, I identify as genderqueer.

Konkretnije, identifikujem se kao nebinaran.

And there are lots of ways to experience being genderqueer,

Postoji mnogo načina na koje se može shvatiti nebinarnost,

but for me that means I don't really identify as a man or a woman.

ali za mene to znači da se ne identifikujem kao muškarac ili žena.

I feel in between and sometimes outside of this gender binary.

Osećam se kao da sam između i ponekad van ove rodne binarnosti.

And being outside of this gender binary

A biti van ove rodne binarnosti

means that sometimes I get "sired" and "ma'amed"

znači da me nekad oslove sa „gospodine“ i „gospođo“

in the span of less than an hour when I'm out doing everyday things

za manje od sat vremena dok obavljam svakodnevne poslove

like getting Cheerios.

kao što je kupovina pahuljica.

But this in between lane is where I'm most comfortable.

Ali u tom međuprostoru se osećam najprijatnije.

This space where I can be both a sir and a ma'am

Prostoru u kojem mogu biti i gospodin i gospođa

se čini najboljim i najautentičnijim.

feels the most right and the most authentic.

But it doesn't mean that these interactions aren't uncomfortable.

Ali to ne znači da mi ove interakcije nisu neprijatne.

Trust me, the discomfort can range from minor annoyance

Verujte mi, neprijatnost može ići od manje nelagodnosti

do osećaja fizičke nebezbednosti.

to feeling physically unsafe.

Like the time at a bar in college

Kao jednom u baru na koledžu

when a bouncer physically removed me by the back of the neck

kada me je izbacivač uhvatio za vrat

and threw me out of a woman's restroom.

i izbacio iz ženskog toaleta.

But for me, authenticity doesn't mean "comfortable."

Za mene, autentičnost ne znači „prijatnost.“

It means managing and negotiating the discomfort of everyday life,

Već upravljanje i pregovaranje neprijatnostima svakodnevnog života,

even at times when it's unsafe.

čak i onda kada nije bezbedno.

And it wasn't until my experience as a trans person

Tek kada se moje iskustvo sa transrodnošću

collided with my new identity as a parent

sudarilo sa mojim novim identitetom roditelja

that I understood the depth of my vulnerabilities

shvatio sam dubinu svoje ranjivosti

and how they are preventing me from being my most authentic self.

i kako me ona sprečava da budem najautentičnija osoba.

Now, for most people, what their child will call them

Za većinu ljudi, to kako će ih dete zvati

is not something that they give much thought to

nije nešto o čemu previše razmišljaju

outside of culturally specific words

izvan okvira kulturno specifičnih reči

ili varijacija na temu pola kao što su „mama“, „mamice“ ili „tata“, „tatice.“

or variations on a gendered theme like "mama," "mommy," or "daddy," "papa."

But for me, the possibility is what this child,

Ali za mene, mogućnost kako će me ovo dete,

who will grow to be a teenager and then a real-life adult,

koje će odrasti i postati tinejdžer a zatim i prava odrasla osoba,

will call me for the rest of our lives,

zvati do kraja života,

was both extremely scary and exciting.

je bila i veoma strašna i uzbudljiva.

And I spent nine months wrestling with the reality that being called "mama"

Proveo sam devet meseci boreći se sa činjenicom da, ako me bude zvala „mama“

or something like it didn't feel like me at all.

ili tako nešto, to uopšte neće ličiti na mene.

And no matter how many times or versions of "mom" I tried,

I nebitno koliko puta ili verzija tog „mama“ sam isprobao,

it always felt forced and deeply uncomfortable.

uvek se činilo nametnuto i vrlo neprijatno.

I knew being called "mom" or "mommy" would be easier to digest for most people.

Znao sam da bi većini ljudi bilo lakše da svare ako me zove „mama“ ili „mamice.“

The idea of having two moms is not super novel,

Ideja da dete ima dve mame nije ništa novo,

especially where we live.

pogotovo u mestu gde mi živimo.

So I tried other words.

Pa sam pokušao s drugim rečima.

And when I played around with "daddy," it felt better.

Kada sam se poigrao sa „tatice,“ zvučalo je bolje.

Better, but not perfect.

Bolje, ali ne savršeno.

Kao sa cipelama koje vam se stvarno sviđaju

It felt like a pair of shoes that you really liked

but you needed to wear and break in.

ali morate prvo da ih razgazite.

And I knew the idea of being a female-born person being called "daddy"

Znao sam da će ideja da osobu rođenu kao žena oslovljavaju sa „tatice“

was going to be a harder road with a lot more uncomfortable moments.

biti teži put sa mnogo više neprijatnih trenutaka.

But, before I knew it, the time had come

Ali, vrlo brzo, došao je trenutak

and Elliot came screaming into the world, like most babies do,

i Eliot je stigla vrišteći na ovaj svet, kao i većina beba,

and my new identity as a parent began.

i ja sam dobio novi identitet roditelja.

I decided on becoming a daddy, and our new family faced the world.

Odlučio sam da postanem tata, i naša nova porodica se suočila sa svetom.

Now one of the most common things that happens when people meet us

Jedna od najčešćih stvari koje se dešavaju kada nas neko upozna

is for people to "mom" me.

je da me oslovljavaju sa „mama.“

And when I get "momed", there are several ways the interaction can go,

Kada me nazovu „mama“, interakcija može da se nastavi na par načina

and I've drawn this map to help illustrate my options.

pa sam nacrtao ovu mapu da lakše ilustrujem svoje opcije.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

So, option one is to ignore the assumption

Prva opcija je da ignorišem pretpostavku

and allow folks to continue to refer to me as "mom,"

i da dozvolim ljudima da me zovu „mama,“

which is not awkward for the other party,

što nije neprijatno drugoj strani,

but is typically really awkward for us.

ali je uglavnom baš neprijatno nama.

And it usually causes me to restrict my interaction with those people.

I uglavnom me natera da ograničim svoju interakciju sa tim ljudima.

Option one.

To je prva opcija.

Option two is to stop and correct them

Druga je da ih zaustavim i ispravim

and say something like,

i kažem nešto u smislu:

"Actually, I'm Elliot's dad" or "Elliot calls me 'daddy.'"

„Zapravo, ja sam Eliotin tata“ ili „Eliot me zove ‚tata’.“

And when I do this, one or two of the following things happen.

Kada to uradim, jedna ili dve od ovih stvari se dese.

Folks take it in stride and say something like, "Oh, OK."

Ljudi to prihvate i kažu npr: „Aha, ok.“

And move on.

I nastave.

Or they respond by apologizing profusely

Ili se duboko izvinjavaju

because they feel bad or awkward or guilty or weird.

jer se osećaju loše ili neprijatno ili krivo ili čudno.

But more often, what happens is folks get really confused

Još češće, ljudi se baš zbune,

and look up with an intense look and say something like,

prodorno pogledaju i kažu nešto u smislu:

"Does this mean you want to transition?

„Da li to znači da želiš da promeniš pol?

Do you want to be a man?"

Da li želiš da budeš muškarac?“

Or say things like,

Ili kažu stvari kao što je:

"How can she be a father?

„Kako ona može biti otac?

Only men can be dads."

Samo muškarci mogu biti tate.“

Well, option one is oftentimes the easier route.

Prva opcija je uglavnom lakši izbor.

Option two is always the more authentic one.

Druga opcija je uvek autentičnija.

And all of these scenarios involve a level of discomfort,

Svaki od ovih scenarija uključuje jedan nivo nelagodnosti,

even in the best case.

čak i u najboljem slučaju.

And I'll say that over time, my ability to navigate this complicated map

Vremenom, moja sposobnost snalaženja na ovoj složenoj mapi

has gotten easier.

je postala bolja.

But the discomfort is still there.

Ali, nelagodnost je i dalje tu.

Now, I won't stand here and pretend

Ne želim ovde da se pretvaram

like I've mastered this, it's pretty far from it.

da sam sve ovo usavršio, daleko je od toga.

And there are days when I still allow option one to take place

Ponekad ipak dozvolim i prvu opciju

because option two is just too hard or too risky.

jer je druga previše teška ili rizična.

There's no way to be sure of anyone's reaction,

Ne možemo verovati ničijoj reakciji,

and I want to be sure that folks have good intentions,

a ja želim da se uverim da ljudi imaju dobre namere,

that people are good.

da su ljudi dobri.

But we live in a world where someone's opinion of my existence

Ali, živimo u svetu u kome nečije mišljenje o mom postojanju

can be met with serious threats to me

može naići na ozbiljne pretnje po mene

or even my family's emotional or physical safety.

ili čak po emocionalnu ili fizičku bezbednost moje porodice.

So I weigh the costs against the risks

Procenim kolika je cena naspram rizika

and sometimes the safety of my family comes before my own authenticity.

i ponekad bezbednost moje porodice ima prednost nad mojom autentičnošću.

But despite this risk,

Uprkos riziku,

I know as Elliot gets older and grows into her consciousness and language skills,

znam da kada Eliot odraste i stekne svest i jezičke veštine,

if I don't correct people, she will.

ako ja ne ispravim ljude, ona će.

I don't want my fears and insecurities to be placed on her,

Ne želim da svoje strahove i nesigurnosti nametnem njoj,

to dampen her spirit or make her question her own voice.

da oslabim njen duh ili je nateram da preispituje svoj glas.

I need to model agency, authenticity and vulnerability,

Treba da budem primer snage, autentičnosti i ranjivosti,

and that means leaning into those uncomfortable moments of being "momed"

a to znači da se upustim u neprijatne trenutke

kada me oslove sa „mama,“

and standing up and saying, "No, I'm a dad.

da se odbranim i kažem: „Ne, ja sam tata.

And I even have the dad jokes to prove it."

Čak se i šalim da bih to dokazao.“

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Now, there have already been plenty of uncomfortable moments

Do sada je već bilo dosta neprijatnih trenutaka,

čak i nekih bolnih.

and even some painful ones.

Ali je bilo, za samo dve kratke godine,

But there's also been, in just two short years,

i vrednih i ponekad oblikujućih trenutaka na mom putovanju kao tate

validating and at times transformative moments on my journey as a dad

and my path towards authenticity.

i mom putu ka autentičnosti.

When we got our first sonogram,

Kada smo išli na prvi ultrazvuk,

we decided we wanted to know the sex of the baby.

odlučili smo da želimo da znamo pol bebe.

The technician saw a vulva and slapped the words "It's a girl"

Tehničar je video vulvu i bacio reči „Devojčica je“

on the screen and gave us a copy and sent us on our way.

na ekran, dao nam kopiju i poslao nas kući.

We shared the photo with our families like everyone does

Pokazali smo sliku porodicama kao što svi rade

and soon after, my mom showed up at our house with a bag filled --

i ubrzo se moja mama pojavila u našoj kući sa torbom punom -

I'm not exaggerating,

ne preterujem,

it was like this high and it was filled, overflowing with pink clothes and toys.

bila je otprilike ovoliko visoka i puna, prepuna roze graderobe i igračaka.

Now I was a little annoyed to be confronted with a lot of pink things,

Malo me je nerviralo što vidim toliko roze stvari,

and having studied gender

a pošto sam istraživao pol

and spent countless hours teaching about it in workshops and classrooms,

i proveo bezbrojne sate predajući o tome na radionicama i u učionicama,

I thought I was pretty well versed on the social construction of gender

mislio sam da sam dobro upućen u socijalnu konstrukciju pola

and how sexism is a devaluing of the feminine

i u to kako je seksizam devalvacija ženskog roda

and how it manifests both explicitly and implicitly.

i kako se manifestuje esplicitno i implicitno.

But this situation, this aversion to a bag full of pink stuff,

Ali ova situacija, ova averzija prema torbi punoj roze stvari,

forced me to explore my rejection of highly feminized things

naterala me je da ispitam odbacivanje jako feminiziranih stvari

in my child's world.

u svetu svog deteta.

I realized that I was reinforcing sexism

Shvatio sam da pojačavam seksizam

and the cultural norms I teach as problematic.

i kulturne norme koje sam podučavao kao problematične.

No matter how much I believed in gender neutrality in theory,

Koliko god sam verovao u rodnu neutralnost u teoriji,

in practice, the absence of femininity is not neutrality, it's masculinity.

u praksi, odsustvo ženstvenosti nije neutralnost, već muževnost.

If I only dress my baby in greens and blues and grays,

Ako svoje dete oblačim samo u zeleno, plavo i sivo,

the outside world doesn't think, "Oh, that's a cute gender-neutral baby."

spoljni svet neće misliti: „Jao, baš slatka polno-neutralna beba.“

They think, "Oh, what a cute boy."

Misliće: „Jao, baš sladak dečak.“

So my theoretical understanding of gender and my parenting world collided hard.

Moje teoretsko razumevanje pola i roditeljstvo su se snažno sukobili.

Yes, I want a diversity of colors and toys for my child to experience.

Da, želim raznolikost boja i igračaka za moje dete.

I want a balanced environment for her to explore

Želim uravnoteženu sredinu koju može da istražuje

and make sense of in her own way.

i razume na svoj način.

We even picked a gender-neutral name for our female-born child.

Čak smo izabrali i polno-neutralno ime za našu devojčicu.

But gender neutrality is much easier as a theoretical endeavor

Polna neutralnost je mnogo lakši poduhvat u teoriji

than it is as a practice.

nego što je u praksi.

And in my attempts to create gender neutrality,

U svojim pokušajima da stvorim polnu neutralnost,

I was inadvertently privileging masculinity over femininity.

nehotice sam privilegovao muževnost naspram ženstvenosti.

So, rather than toning down or eliminating femininity in our lives,

Dakle, umesto da ublažavamo ili eliminišemo ženstvenost u životima,

we make a concerted effort to celebrate it.

zajednički smo se trudili da je slavimo.

We have pinks among the variety of colors,

Imamo roze među mnogim drugim bojama,

we balance out the cutes with handsomes

izbalansirali smo slatko sa zgodnim

and the prettys with strongs and smarts

i lepo sa jakim i pametnim

and work really hard not to associate any words with gender.

i jako se trudimo da ne povezujemo nikakve reči sa polom.

We value femininity and masculinity

Vrednujemo ženstvenost i muževnost

while also being highly critical of it.

a ujedno smo i vrlo kritični prema tome.

And do our best to not make her feel limited by gender roles.

Dajemo sve od sebe da se ne oseća ograničeno polnim ulogama.

And we do all this in hopes

I sve to radimo u nadi

that we model a healthy and empowered relationship with gender for our kid.

da ćemo stvoriti zdravu i motivisanu vezu sa polom za svoje dete.

Now this work to develop a healthy relationship with gender for Elliot

Ovaj napor da razvijemo zdravu vezu sa polom za Eliot

made me rethink and evaluate how I allowed sexism to manifest

naterao me je da preispitam i procenim kako sam dopustio seksizmu da se ispolji

in my own gender identity.

u mom polnom identitetu.

I began to reevaluate how I was rejecting femininity

Počeo sam da preispitujem kako sam odbacivao ženstvenost

in order to live up to a masculinity that was not healthy

kako bih dostigao muževnost koja nije bila zdrava

niti nešto što sam želeo da prenesem dalje.

or something I wanted to pass on.

Doing this self-work meant I had to reject option one.

Ovaj rad na sebi je podrazumevao odbacivanje prve opcije.

I couldn't ignore and move on.

Nisam mogao da ignorišem i nastavim.

I had to choose option two.

Morao sam da odaberem drugu opciju.

I had to engage with some of my most uncomfortable parts

Morao sam da aktiviram neke od svojih najneprijatnijih delova

to move towards my most authentic self.

kako bih se približio svojoj autentičnosti.

And that meant I had to get real about the discomfort I have with my body.

A to je značilo da moram biti realan o nelagodi koju osećam prema svom telu.

It's pretty common for trans people to feel uncomfortable in their body,

Vrlo je uobičajeno za trans osobe da se osećaju neprijatno u svom telu,

and this discomfort can range from debilitating to annoying

a ta neprijatnost može ići od isrcpljujuće do iritantne

and everywhere in between.

i između.

And learning my body and how to be comfortable in it as a trans person

Učiti o mom telu, i kako da mi u njemu bude prijatno kao trans osobi

has been a lifelong journey.

je bilo dugogodišnje putovanje.

I've always struggled with the parts of my body

Uvek sam se mučio sa delovima svog tela

that can be defined as more feminine --

koji se mogu definisati kao ženstveniji -

my chest, my hips, my voice.

sa svojim grudima, kukovima, glasom.

And I've made the sometimes hard, sometimes easy decision

Doneo sam tu ponekad tešku, ponekad laku odluku

to not take hormones or have any surgeries to change it

da ne uzimam hormone ili idem na operacije da ga promenim

to make myself more masculine by society's standards.

kako bih bio muževniji prema društvenim standardima.

And while I certainly haven't overcome all the feelings of dissatisfaction,

Iako definitivno nisam prevazišao sva osećanja nezadovoljstva,

I realized that by not engaging with that discomfort

shvatio sam da, ako se ne bavim tom neprijatnošću

and coming to a positive and affirming place with my body,

i ne postignem pozitivnu i afirmišuću sliku o svom telu,

podstičem seksizam, transfobiju i dajem primer sramljenja od tela.

I was reinforcing sexism, transphobia and modeling body shaming.

If I hate my body,

Ako mrzim svoje telo,

in particular, the parts society deems feminine or female,

pogotovo one delove koje društvo smatra ženstvenim ili ženskim,

I potentially damage how my kid can see the possibilities of her body

potencijalno narušavam način na koji moje dete vidi mogućnosti svog tela

and her feminine and female parts.

i svoje ženstvene i ženske delove.

If I hate or am uncomfortable with my body,

Ako mrzim svoje telo ili mi je u njemu neprijatno,

how can I expect my kid to love hers?

kako da očekujem da moje dete voli svoje?

Now it would be easier for me to choose option one:

Bilo bi mi lakše da izaberem prvu opciju:

da ignorišem svoje dete kada me pita za moje telo ili da ga krijem od nje.

to ignore my kid when she asks me about my body or to hide it from her.

But I have to choose option two every day.

Ali svakog dana moram da biram drugu opciju.

I have to confront my own assumptions about what a dad's body can and should be.

I da se suočim sa svojim pretpostavkama

o tome šta bi telo tate moglo i trebalo da bude.

So I work every day to try and be more comfortable in this body

Svakog dana radim na tome da mi bude prijatnije u ovom telu

and in the ways I express femininity.

i u tome kako izražavam ženstvenost.

So I talk about it more,

Zato o tome više pričam,

I explore the depths of this discomfort

istražujem dubine te neprijatnosti

and find language that I feel comfortable with.

i pronalazim jezik koji mi je prijatan.

And this daily discomfort helps me build both agency and authenticity

Ova svakodnevna nelagoda mi je pomogla da izgradim sredstvo i autentičnost

in how I show up in my body and in my gender.

u predstavljanju u svom telu i polu.

I'm working against limiting myself.

Radim na tome da se ne ograničavam.

I want to show her that a dad can have hips,

Želim da joj pokažem da tata može imati kukove,

a dad doesn't have to have a perfectly flat chest

da ne mora da ima savršeno ravne grudi

or even be able to grow facial hair.

i da čak ne mora da ima dlake na licu.

And when she's developmentally able to,

A kada bude dovoljno odrasla,

želim da pričam sa njom o mom putovanju sa mojim telom.

I want to talk to her about my journey with my body.

I want her to see my journey towards authenticity

Želim da ona vidi moj put ka autentičnosti

even when it means showing her the messier parts.

čak i kada to znači da treba da joj pokažem i ružnije delove.

We have a wonderful pediatrician

Imamo divnog pedijatra

and have established a good relationship with our kid's doctor.

i ostvarili smo dobru vezu sa doktorom našeg deteta.

And as you all know, while your doctor stays the same,

I kao što svi znate, iako imate istog doktora,

your nurses and nurse practitioners change in and out.

medicinske sestre i tehničari se stalno menjaju.

And when Elliot was first born, we took her to the pediatrician

Još kada se Eliot rodila, odveli smo je kod pedijatra

i upoznali se sa prvom sestrom - zvaćemo je Sara.

and we met our first nurse -- we'll call her Sarah.

Very early in in our time with Sarah,

Odmah na početku sa Sarom

we told her how I was going to be called "dad"

rekli smo joj da treba da me zove „tata“

and my partner is "mama."

a moju partnerku „mama“.

Sarah was one of those folks that took it in stride,

Sara je bila jedna od onih koji su to lagano podneli,

and our subsequent visits went pretty smoothly.

i naše naredne posete su prošle vrlo glatko.

Oko godinu dana kasnije, Sara je promenila smenu

And about a year later, Sarah switched shifts

and we started working with a new nurse -- we'll call her Becky.

i počeli smo da radimo sa novom sestrom - zvaćemo je Beki.

Sa njom nismo obavili isti razgovor

We didn't get in front of the dad conversations

and it didn't actually come up until Sarah, our original nurse,

sve dok Sara, prva sestra,

nije došla da nam se javi.

walked in to say hi.

Sara je prijatna i vesela i javila se Eliot, meni i mojoj supruzi

Sarah's warm and bubbly and said hi to Elliot and me and my wife

and when talking to Elliot said something like,

i dok se obraćala Eliot rekla je nešto u smislu:

"Is your daddy holding your toy?"

„Da li tvoj tata drži tvoju igračku?“

Now out of the corner of my eye,

Krajičkom svog oka,

I could see Becky swing around in her chair

mogao sam videti Beki kako se vrti u svojoj stolici

and make daggers at Sarah.

i pogledom strelja Saru.

And as the conversation shifted to our pediatrician,

Kada se razgovor prebacio na našeg pedijatra,

I saw Sarah and Becky's interaction continue, and it went something like this.

video sam nastavak Sarinog i Bekinog razgovora koji je išao otprilike ovako.

Becky, shaking her head "no" and mouthing the word "mom."

Beki, odmahuje glavom „ne“ i izgovara reč „mama.“

Sarah, shaking her head "no" and mouthing the word "no, dad."

Sara, odmahuje glavom „ne“ i izgovara „ne, tata.“

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Awkward, right?

Neprijatno, zar ne?

So this went back and forth in total silence a few more times

Ovo se nastavilo još par puta u potpunoj tišini

until we walked away.

dok nismo otišli.

Now, this interaction has stuck with me.

Ovaj razgovor mi je ostao u pamćenju-

Sarah could have chosen option one,

Sara je mogla da odabere prvu opciju,

ignored Becky, and let her refer to me as mom.

da ignoriše Beki, i pusti je da me zove mama.

It would have been easier for Sarah.

To bi bilo lakše za nju.

She could have put the responsibility back on me or not said anything at all.

Mogla je da prebaci odgovornost na mene ili da uopšte ne kaže ništa.

But in that moment, she chose option two.

Ali u tom trenutku, odabrala je drugu opciju.

She chose to confront the assumptions and affirm my existence.

A to je da se suprotstavi pretpostavkama i da potvrdi moje postojanje.

She insisted that a person who looks and sounds like me

Insistirala je da osoba koja izgleda i zvuči kao ja

može zapravo biti tata.

can in fact be a dad.

And in a small but meaningful way,

I na mali ali značajan način,

advocated for me, my authenticity and my family.

založila se za mene, moju autentičnost i porodicu.

Unfortunately, we live in a world that refuses to acknowledge trans people

Nažalost, živimo u svetu koji odbija da prihvati trans osobe

and the diversity of trans people in general.

i raznolikost trans osoba uopšte.

And my hope is that when confronted with an opportunity

Nadam se da ćemo, kada nam se pruži prilika

da se zauzmemo za nekog,

to stand up for someone else,

preduzeti nešto kao što je Sara učinila, čak i ako to podrazumeva rizik.

we all take action like Sarah, even when there's risk involved.

So some days, the risk of being a genderqueer dad feels too much.

Ponekad se čini da je biti dženderkvir tata previše riskantno.

And deciding to be a dad has been really hard.

Odluka da budem tata je bila jako teška.

And I'm sure it will continue to be the hardest,

I siguran sam da će i dalje biti najteže,

ali i najdragocenije iskustvo u mom životu.

yet the most rewarding experience of my life.

But despite this challenge, every day has felt 100 percent worth it.

Uprkos izazovu, svakoga dana shvatam da je stopostotno vredelo.

So each day I affirm my promise to Elliot

Svakog dana potvrđujem obećanje dato Eliot

and that same promise to myself.

i isto to obećanje sebi.

Da jako volim nju i sebe

To love her and myself hard

with forgiveness and compassion,

sa praštanjem i saosećanjem,

with tough love and with generosity.

grubom ljubavi i velikodušnošću.

To give room for growth, to push beyond comfort

Da pružim mesta za rast, guram van granice komfora

in hopes of attaining and living a more meaningful life.

u nadi da ću dostići i živeti značajniji život.

I know in my head and in my heart

U svojoj glavi i srcu znam

that there are hard and painful and uncomfortable days ahead.

da nas čekaju teški i bolni i neprijatni dani.

Moj razum i srce takođe znaju

My head and my heart also know

that all of it will lead to a more rich, authentic life

da sve to vodi bogatijem, autentičnijem životu

that I can look back on without regrets.

na koji ću moći da se osvrnem bez žaljenja.

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)