What almost dying taught me about living | Suleika Jaouad

Prevodilac: Ivana Krivokuća Lektor: Tijana Mihajlović

It was the spring of 2011,

Bilo je proleće 2011. godine

and as they like to say in commencement speeches,

i, kako to vole da kažu govornici na diplomskim ceremonijama,

I was getting ready to enter the real world.

spremala sam se da zakoračim u stvarni svet.

I had recently graduated from college

Nedavno sam diplomirala na fakultetu

and moved to Paris to start my first job.

i preselila se u Pariz da bih započela svoj prvi posao.

My dream was to become a war correspondent,

Moj san je bio da postanem ratni dopisnik,

but the real world that I found

ali stvarni svet na koji sam naišla

took me into a really different kind of conflict zone.

odveo me je u zaista drugačiju zonu konflikta.

At 22 years old,

U 22. godini,

I was diagnosed with leukemia.

dijagnostikovana mi je leukemija.

The doctors told me and my parents, point-blank,

Doktori su direktno rekli meni i mojim roditeljima

that I had about a 35 percent chance of long-term survival.

da imam oko 35% šanse preživljavanja na duže staze.

I couldn't wrap my head around what that prognosis meant.

Nisam mogla da pojmim šta je ta prognoza značila.

But I understood that the reality and the life I'd imagined for myself

Ali sam shvatila da su se stvarnost i život kakav sam zamislila za sebe

had shattered.

srušili.

Overnight, I lost my job, my apartment, my independence,

Preko noći sam izgubila posao, stan, nezavisnost,

and I became patient number 5624.

i postala sam pacijent broj 5624.

Over the next four years of chemo, a clinical trial

Tokom naredne četiri godine hemoterapije, kliničkog ispitivanja

and a bone marrow transplant,

i transplantacije koštane srži,

the hospital became my home,

bolnica je postala moj dom,

my bed, the place I lived 24/7.

a moj krevet je postao mesto u kome sam živela 24 sata dnevno.

Since it was unlikely that I'd ever get better,

Pošto je bilo malo verovatno da ću ikada ozdraviti,

I had to accept my new reality.

morala sam da prihvatim svoju novu realnost.

And I adapted.

I prilagodila sam se.

I became fluent in medicalese,

Počela sam da tečno govorim jezik medicine,

made friends with a group of other young cancer patients,

sprijateljila se sa grupom drugih mladih pacijenata obolelih od raka,

built a vast collection of neon wigs

skupila ogromnu kolekciju neonskih perika

and learned to use my rolling IV pole as a skateboard.

i naučila da koristim stalak za infuziju kao skejtbord.

I even achieved my dream of becoming a war correspondent,

Čak sam i ostvarila svoj san da postanem ratni dopisnik,

although not in the way I'd expected.

mada ne onako kako sam očekivala.

It started with a blog,

Počelo je blogom u kome sam izveštavala iz prvih redova svog bolničkog kreveta,

reporting from the front lines of my hospital bed,

and it morphed into a column I wrote for the New York Times,

što se pretvorilo u kolumnu koju sam pisala za Njujork tajms

called "Life, Interrupted."

pod nazivom „Prekinuti život“.

But -- (Applause)

Ali - (Aplauz)

Thank you.

Hvala.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

But above all else,

Ali pre svega,

my focus was on surviving.

bila sam usredsređena na preživljavanje.

And -- spoiler alert --

I - upozorenje za one koji nisu upućeni -

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

I did survive, yeah.

preživela sam, da.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

Thanks to an army of supportive humans,

Zahvaljujući armiji ljudi od podrške,

I'm not just still here, I am cured of my cancer.

ne samo da sam još ovde, već sam i izlečena od raka.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

Thank you.

Hvala.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

So, when you go through a traumatic experience like this,

Kada prođete kroz ovakvo traumatično iskustvo,

people treat you differently.

ljudi se prema vama ophode drugačije.

They start telling you how much of an inspiration you are.

Počnu da vam govore koliko ih inspirišete.

They say you're a warrior.

Kažu da ste ratnik.

They call you a hero,

Nazivaju vas herojem,

someone who's lived the mythical hero's journey,

nekim ko je proživeo put mitskog heroja,

who's endured impossible trials

ko je izdržao nemoguća iskušenja

and, against the odds, lived to tell the tale,

i, uprkos lošim izgledima, doživeo da ispriča priču,

returning better and braver for what you're been through.

vrativši se bolji i hrabriji zbog onoga kroz šta ste prošli.

And this definitely lines up with my experience.

To se definitivno poklapa sa mojim iskustvom.

Cancer totally transformed my life.

Rak je potpuno promenio moj život.

I left the hospital knowing exactly who I was

Napustila sam bolnicu tačno znajući ko sam

and what I wanted to do in the world.

i šta želim da uradim u svetu.

And now, every day as the sun rises,

A sada, svaki dan kada sunce izađe,

I drink a big glass of celery juice,

popijem veliku čašu soka od celera

and I follow this up with 90 minutes of yoga.

i nakon toga odradim 90 minuta joge.

Then, I write down 50 things I'm grateful for onto a scroll of paper

Onda zapišem 50 stvari na kojima sam zahvalna na svitku papira

that I fold into an origami crane and send sailing out my window.

koji savijem u origami ždrala i otpremim ga na put kroz prozor.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Are you seriously believing any of this?

Da li zaista verujete u to?

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

I don't do any of these things.

Ne radim ništa od toga.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

I hate yoga, and I have no idea how to fold an origami crane.

Mrzim jogu i nemam pojma kako da napravim ždrala od papira.

The truth is that for me,

Istina je da je za mene

the hardest part of my cancer experience began once the cancer was gone.

najteži deo mog iskustva sa rakom nastupio kada je rak nestao.

That heroic journey of the survivor we see in movies

To herojsko putovanje preživelog koje vidimo u filmovima

and watch play out on Instagram --

i gledamo kako se odigrava na Instagramu -

it's a myth.

to je mit.

It isn't just untrue, it's dangerous,

Ne samo da to nije istinito, već je i opasno,

because it erases the very real challenges of recovery.

jer briše stvarne izazove oporavka.

Now, don't get me wrong -- I am incredibly grateful to be alive,

Nemojte me pogrešno shvatiti - neverovatno sam zahvalna što sam živa

and I am painfully aware that this struggle is a privilege

i bolno sam svesna toga da je ova borba privilegija

that many don't get to experience.

koju mnogi nemaju priliku da dožive.

But it's important that I tell you

Ali važno je da vam kažem

what this projection of heroism and expectation of constant gratitude

šta ta projekcija junaštva i očekivanje stalne zahvalnosti

does to people who are trying to recover.

čini ljudima koji pokušavaju da se oporave.

Because being cured is not where the work of healing ends.

Jer se isceljivanje ne završava izlečenjem.

It's where it begins.

Ono tu počinje.

I'll never forget the day I was discharged from the hospital,

Nikada neću zaboraviti dan kada sam otpuštena iz bolnice,

finally done with treatment.

kada sam konačno završila lečenje.

Those four years of chemo had taken a toll on my relationship

Te četiri godine hemoterapije uzele su danak mojoj vezi

with my longtime boyfriend,

sa dugogodišnjim momkom,

and he'd recently moved out.

i on se malo pre toga odselio.

And when I walked into my apartment, it was quiet.

Kada sam ušla u svoj stan, bilo je tiho.

Eerily so.

Jezivo tiho.

The person I wanted to call in this moment,

Osoba koju sam želela da pozovem u tom trenutku,

the person who I knew would understand everything,

osoba za koju sam znala da će sve razumeti,

was my friend Melissa.

bila je moja drugarica Melisa.

She was a fellow cancer patient,

Bila je takođe pacijentkinja obolela od raka,

but she had died three weeks earlier.

ali umrla je tri nedelje pre toga.

As I stood there in the doorway of my apartment,

Dok sam stajala na vratima stana,

I wanted to cry.

htela sam da plačem.

But I was too tired to cry.

Ali bila sam previše umorna da bih plakala.

The adrenaline was gone.

Nestalo je adrenalina.

I had felt as if the inner scaffolding

Osećala sam se kao da se srušio

that had held me together since my diagnosis

potporni zid koji mi je davao stabilnost otkad sam dobila dijagnozu.

had suddenly crumbled.

I had spent the past 1,500 days working tirelessly to achieve one goal:

Provela sam proteklih 1 500 dana neumorno radeći na jednom cilju:

to survive.

preživljavanju.

And now that I'd done so,

I sada kada sam to ostvarila,

I realized I had absolutely no idea how to live.

shvatila sam da uopšte nemam pojma kako da živim.

On paper, of course, I was better:

Na papiru mi je, naravno, bilo bolje.

I didn't have leukemia,

Nisam imala leukemiju,

my blood counts were back to normal,

moja krvna slika se vratila u normalu

and the disability checks soon stopped coming.

i invalidski čekovi su ubrzo prestali da stižu.

To the outside world,

Za spoljni svet,

I clearly didn't belong in the kingdom of the sick anymore.

očigledno više nisam pripadala kraljevstvu obolelih.

But in reality, I never felt further from being well.

Ali u stvari nikada nisam bila udaljenija od zdravog stanja.

All that chemo had taken a permanent physical toll on my body.

Sva ta hemoterapija ostavila je trajne fizičke posledice na moje telo.

I wondered, "What kind of job can I hold

Pitala sam se: „Kakav posao mogu da zadržim

when I need to nap for four hours in the middle of the day?

kada mi treba dremka od četiri sata usred dana?

When my misfiring immune system

Kada zbog poremećenog imunog sistema

still sends me to the ER on a regular basis?"

i dalje stalno idem u hitnu pomoć?“

And then there were the invisible, psychological imprints

A tu su bili i nevidljivi, psihološki tragovi

my illness had left behind:

koje je ostavila moja bolest:

the fears of relapse,

strah od recidiva,

the unprocessed grief,

tuga koju nisam obradila,

the demons of PTSD that descended upon me for days, sometimes weeks.

demoni PTSP-a koji su mi dolazili danima, a ponekad i nedeljama.

See, we talk about reentry

Vidite, govorimo o povratku u stari život

in the context of war and incarceration.

u kontekstu rata i zatvoreništva.

But we don't talk about it as much

Ali ne pričamo toliko o tome

in the context of other kinds of traumatic experiences, like an illness.

u kontekstu drugih traumatičnih iskustava kao što je bolest.

Because no one had warned me of the challenges of reentry,

Pošto me niko nije upozorio na probleme povratka,

I thought something must be wrong with me.

mislila sam da nešto mora da nije u redu sa mnom.

I felt ashamed,

Bilo me je sramota,

and with great guilt, I kept reminding myself

i uz veliku krivicu sam podsećala sebe

of how lucky I was to be alive at all,

koliko imam sreće što sam uopšte živa

when so many people like my friend Melissa were not.

kada toliko ljudi, kao moja drugarica Melisa, nisu.

But on most days, I woke up feeling so sad and lost,

Ali većinu dana sam se budila osećajući se tako tužno i izgubljeno

I could barely breathe.

da sam jedva mogla da dišem.

Sometimes, I even fantasized about getting sick again.

Ponekad bih čak i maštala o tome da se ponovo razbolim.

And let me tell you,

I da vam kažem,

there are so many better things to fantasize about

ima toliko mnogo boljih stvari za maštanje

when you're in your twenties and recently single.

kada ste u dvadesetim i odnedavno slobodni.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

But I missed the hospital's ecosystem.

Ali nedostajao mi je bolnički ekosistem.

Like me, everyone in there was broken.

Kao i ja, svi su tamo bili falični.

But out here, among the living, I felt like an impostor,

Ali ovde, među živima, osećala sam se kao uljez,

overwhelmed and unable to function.

preplavljena i nesposobna da funkcionišem.

I also missed the sense of clarity I'd felt at my sickest.

Takođe mi je nedostajao osećaj jasnoće koji sam imala kada sam bila najbolesnija.

Staring your mortality straight in the eye has a way of simplifying things,

Gledanje svojoj smrtnosti pravo u oči na neki način pojednostavljuje stvari,

of rerouting your focus to what really matters.

preusmerava vam fokus na ono što je zaista bitno.

And when I was sick, I vowed that if I survived,

A kao bolesna sam se zavetovala da će, ako preživim,

it had to be for something.

to biti vredno nečega.

It had to be to live a good life, an adventurous life,

Moraće to biti zarad dobrog života, avanturističkog života,

a meaningful one.

smislenog života.

But the question, once I was cured,

Ali je proizašlo pitanje, kada sam se izlečila:

became: How?

kako?

I was 27 years old with no job, no partner, no structure.

Imala sam 27 godina i bila bez posla, bez partnera, bez strukture.

And this time, I didn't have treatment protocols or discharge instructions

I ovoga puta nisam imala protokole lečenja niti uputstva po otpustu

to help guide my way forward.

kojima bih se rukovodila nadalje.

But what I did have was an in-box full of internet messages

Ali zato sam imala inboks pun poruka na internetu

from strangers.

od nepoznatih ljudi.

Over the years,

Tokom godina,

people from all over the world had read my column,

ljudi širom sveta su čitali moju kolumnu

and they'd responded with letters, comments and emails.

i odgovarali su na nju pismima, komentarima i imejlovima.

It was a mix, as is often the case, for writers.

Bilo je tu svačega, kao što to obično biva kada se radi o piscima.

I got a lot of unsolicited advice

Dobila sam puno saveta koje nisam tražila

about how to cure my cancer with things like essential oils.

o tome kako da izlečim rak pomoću stvari kao što su eterična ulja.

I got some questions about my bra size.

Dobila sam neka pitanja o veličini brushaltera koju nosim.

But mostly --

Ali uglavnom -

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

mostly, I heard from people who, in their own different way,

uglavnom su mi se javljali ljudi koji su, na sebi svojstvene načine,

understood what it was that I was going through.

razumeli kroz šta sam prolazila.

I heard from a teenage girl in Florida

Javila mi se tinejdžerka iz Floride

who, like me, was coming out of chemo

koja je, kao i ja, završila sa hemoterapijom

and wrote me a message composed largely of emojis.

i napisala mi je poruku koja se većinom sastojala od emodžija.

I heard from a retired art history professor in Ohio named Howard,

Javio mi se profesor istorije umetnosti u penziji iz Ohaja po imenu Hauard,

who'd spent most of his life

koji je većinu života proveo

struggling with a mysterious, debilitating health condition

u borbi sa misterioznom, iscrpljujućom bolešću

that he'd had from the time he was a young man.

koju je imao još otkad je bio mladić.

I heard from an inmate on death row in Texas

Javio mi se zatvorenik osuđen na smrtnu kaznu u Teksasu

by the name of Little GQ --

po imenu Mali Dži Kju,

short for "Gangster Quinn."

što je skraćenica za „gangster Kvin“.

He'd never been sick a day in his life.

Nikada u životu nije bio bolestan.

He does 1,000 push-ups to start off each morning.

Uradi 1 000 sklekova za početak svakog jutra.

But he related to what I described in one column

Ali povezao se sa nečim što sam opisala u jednoj kolumni

as my "incanceration,"

kao svoje „zarobljeništvo“,

and to the experience of being confined to a tiny fluorescent room.

kao i za iskustvo zatočenosti u malenoj fluorescentnoj prostoriji.

"I know that our situations are different," he wrote to me,

„Znam da se naše situacije razlikuju“, napisao mi je.

"But the threat of death lurks in both of our shadows."

„Ali pretnja smrti vreba u obema našim senkama.“

In those lonely first weeks and months of my recovery,

U tim usamljenim prvim nedeljama i mesecima mog oporavka,

these strangers and their words became lifelines,

ti neznanci i njihove reči postale su spas,

dispatches from people of so many different backgrounds,

pošiljke od ljudi toliko različitog porekla,

with so many different experiences,

sa toliko različitih iskustava,

all showing me the same thing:

a koje su mi pokazivale jedno te isto:

you can be held hostage

možete biti taoci

by the worst thing that's ever happened to you

najgore stvari koja vam se ikada dogodila

and allow it to hijack your remaining days,

i dozvoliti joj da vam otme dane koji vam preostaju

or you can find a way forward.

ili možete naći način da nastavite dalje.

I knew I needed to make some kind of change.

Znala sam da moram da nešto promenim.

I wanted to be in motion again

Htela sam da opet budem u pokretu

to figure out how to unstuck myself and to get back out into the world.

da bih otkrila kako da se iščupam i vratim se u svet.

And so I decided to go on a real journey --

Tako sam rešila da krenem na pravo putovanje -

not the bullshit cancer one

ne na ono glupo putovanje raka

niti na putovanje mitskog heroja na kojem su svi mislili da treba da budem,

or the mythical hero's journey that everyone thought I should be on,

but a real, pack-your-bags kind of journey.

već na pravo putovanje sa spakovanim torbama.

I put everything I owned into storage,

Sve što posedujem sam smestila u skladište,

rented out my apartment, borrowed a car

izdala svoj stan, pozajmila auto

and talked a very a dear but somewhat smelly friend

i nagovorila dragog, ali i pomalo smrdljivog prijatelja,

into joining me.

da mi se pridruži.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Together, my dog Oscar and I embarked on a 15,000-mile road trip

Moj pas Oskar i ja smo se zajedno zaputili na put od 24 000 kilometara

around the United States.

po Sjedinjenim Državama.

Along the way, we visited some of those strangers who'd written to me.

Usput smo posetili neke od neznanaca koji su mi pisali.

I needed their advice,

Bio mi je potreban njihov savet,

also to say to them, thank you.

a i da im se zahvalim.

I went to Ohio and stayed with Howard, the retired professor.

Otišla sam u Ohajo i boravila kod Hauarda, profesora u penziji.

When you've suffered a loss or a trauma,

Kada pretrpite gubitak ili traumu,

the impulse can be to guard your heart.

možete imati potrebu da zaštitite srce.

But Howard urged me to open myself up to uncertainty,

Ali Hauard me je podsticao da se otvorim za neizvesnost,

to the possibilities of new love, new loss.

za mogućnosti nove ljubavi i novih gubitaka.

Howard will never be cured of illness.

Hauard se nikada neće izlečiti od bolesti.

And as a young man, he had no way of predicting how long he'd live.

Ni kao mladić nije mogao da predvidi koliko dugo će živeti.

But that didn't stop him from getting married.

Ali to ga nije sprečilo da se oženi.

Howard has grandkids now,

Hauard sada ima unučiće

and takes weekly ballroom dancing lessons with his wife.

i svake nedelje ide sa ženom na časove balskog plesa.

When I visited them,

Kada sam ih posetila,

they’d recently celebrated their 50th anniversary.

nedavno pre toga su proslavili 50. godišnjicu braka.

In his letter to me, he'd written,

U pismu mi je napisao:

"Meaning is not found in the material realm;

„Smisao se ne pronalazi u materijalnom svetu;

it's not in dinner, jazz, cocktails or conversation.

nije u večerama, džezu, koktelima niti razgovorima.

Meaning is what's left when everything else is stripped away."

Smisao je ono što ostaje kada se ukloni sve ostalo.“

I went to Texas, and I visited Little GQ on death row.

Išla sam u Teksas i posetila Malog Dži Kjua na smrtnoj kazni.

He asked me what I did to pass all that time

Pitao me je šta sam radila da mi prođe sve to vreme

I'd spent in a hospital room.

koje sam provela u bolničkoj sobi.

When I told him that I got really, really good at Scrabble,

Kada sam mu rekla da sam se baš izveštila u „Skreblu“,

he said, "Me, too!" and explained how,

rekao je: „I ja!“ i objasnio kako,

even though he spends most of his days in solitary confinement,

iako većinu dana provodi u samici,

he and his neighboring prisoners make board games out of paper

on i njegovi susedi zatvorenici prave društvene igre od papira

and call out their plays through their meal slots --

i jedni drugima izvikuju poteze kroz proreze za hranu -

a testament to the incredible tenacity of the human spirit

što svedoči o neverovatnoj izdržljivosti ljudskog duha

and our ability to adapt with creativity.

i našoj sposobnosti da se prilagodimo uz pomoć kreativnosti.

And my last stop was in Florida,

Poslednja stanica mi je bila u Floridi,

to see that teenage girl who'd sent me all those emojis.

da bih videla tu tinejdžerku koja mi je slala sve one emodžije.

Her name is Unique, which is perfect,

Zove se Unikat, što je savršeno,

because she's the most luminous, curious person I've ever met.

zato što najviše zrači i ima više znatiželje

od svih ljudi koje sam srela u životu.

I asked her what she wants to do next and she said,

Pitala sam je šta hoće sledeće da uradi i rekla je:

"I want to go to college and travel

„Hoću da upišem fakultet, da putujem,

and eat weird foods like octopus that I've never tasted before

da jedem čudnu hranu koju nikada pre nisam probala, kao što je hobotnica,

and come visit you in New York

da dođem da te posetim u Njujorku

and go camping, but I'm scared of bugs,

i da idem na kampovanje, mada se bojim buba,

but I still want to go camping."

ali i dalje hoću na kampovanje.“

I was in awe of her,

Divila sam joj se

that she could be so optimistic and so full of plans for the future,

što može da bude tako optimistična i tako puna planova za budućnost,

given everything she'd been through.

s obzirom na sve kroz šta je prošla.

But as Unique showed me,

Ali, kako mi je Unikat pokazala,

it is far more radical and dangerous to have hope

mnogo je radikalnije i opasnije gajiti nadu

than to live hemmed in by fear.

nego živeti u strahu.

But the most important thing I learned on that road trip

Najvažnije što sam naučila na tom putovanju

is that the divide between the sick and the well --

jeste to da podela na bolesne i zdrave -

it doesn't exist.

ona ne postoji.

The border is porous.

Granica je porozna.

As we live longer and longer,

Kako živimo sve duže i duže,

surviving illnesses and injuries that would have killed our grandparents,

preživljavajući bolesti i povrede koje bi ubile naše bake i deke,

even our parents,

pa čak i naše roditelje,

the vast majority of us will travel back and forth between these realms,

velika većina nas će putovati naizmenično u ove svetove,

spending much of our lives somewhere between the two.

pri čemu ćemo većinu života provesti negde između njih.

These are the terms of our existence.

To su uslovi našeg postojanja.

Now, I wish I could say that since coming home from my road trip,

Volela bih da mogu da kažem da se, otkad sam došla kući sa putovanja,

I feel fully healed.

osećam potpuno zalečeno.

I don't.

Nije tako.

But once I stopped expecting myself

Ali kada sam prestala da očekujem od sebe

to return to the person I'd been pre-diagnosis,

da ponovo postanem osoba kakva sam bila pre dijagnoze,

once I learned to accept my body and its limitations,

kada sam naučila da prihvatim svoje telo i njegova ograničenja,

I actually did start to feel better.

zaista sam počela da se osećam bolje.

And in the end, I think that's the trick:

Naposletku, mislim da je u tome trik:

to stop seeing our health as binary,

da prestanemo da sagledavamo svoje zdravlje kao binarno,

between sick and healthy,

između bolesti i zdravlja,

well and unwell,

zdravog i nezdravog,

whole and broken;

čitavog i oštećenog,

to stop thinking that there's some beautiful, perfect state of wellness

da prestanemo da mislimo da postoji neko divno, savršeno dobrostanje

to strive for;

kome treba težiti

and to quit living in a state of constant dissatisfaction

i da prestanemo da živimo u stanju stalnog nezadovoljstva

until we reach it.

dok ga ne dostignemo.

Every single one of us will have our life interrupted,

Svako od nas će imati prekide u životu,

whether it's by the rip cord of a diagnosis

bilo da je to zbog dijagnoze koja će povući uzicu

or some other kind of heartbreak or trauma that brings us to the floor.

ili zbog nekog drugog bola ili traume koja nas obara.

We need to find ways to live in the in-between place,

Moramo naći načine da živimo između,

managing whatever body and mind we currently have.

tako da se snalazimo sa bilo kakvim telom i umom koje trenutno imamo.

Sometimes, all it takes is the ingenuity of a handmade game of Scrabble

Ponekad je potrebna samo genijalnost ručno napravljene igre Skrebl

or finding that stripped-down kind of meaning in the love of family

ili pronalaženje tog ogoljenog smisla u ljubavi porodice

and a night on the ballroom dance floor,

i u noći na plesnom podijumu,

or that radical, dangerous hope

ili ta radikalna, opasna nada

that I'm guessing will someday lead a teenage girl terrified of bugs

za koju pretpostavljam da će jednog dana navesti tinejdžerku koja se užasava buba

to go camping.

da ode na kampovanje.

If you're able to do that,

Ako ste u stanju da to uradite,

then you've taken the real hero's journey.

onda ste krenuli na put pravog heroja.

You've achieved what it means to actually be well,

Postigli ste ono što zaista znači biti dobro,

which is to say: alive, in the messiest, richest, most whole sense.

a to je: biti živ u najhaotičnijem, najbogatijem, najcelovitijem smislu.

Thank you, that's all I've got.

Hvala, to je sve od mene.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

Thank you.

Hvala.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)