A queer vision of love and marriage | Tiq Milan and Kim Katrin Milan

Prevodilac: Milenka Okuka Lektor: Mile Živković

Tiq Milan: Our first conversation was on Facebook,

Tik Milan: Naš prvi razgovor je bio na Fejsbuku

and it was three days long.

i trajao je tri dana.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

We shared over 3,000 messages between us,

Razmenili smo međusobno preko 3000 poruka,

and it was during those 72 hours that I knew she was going to be my wife.

i tokom ta 72 sata sam shvatio da će da mi bude supruga.

We didn't wait any prerequisite amount of time for our courtship;

Nismo čekali na očekivanu količinu vremena za naše udvaranje;

we told each other the vulnerable truths up front:

unapred smo jedno drugom rekli ranjive istine:

I am a transgender man,

ja sam transrodni muškarac,

which means the F on my birth certificate should have stood for "False,"

što će reći da bi Ž na mom izvodu trebalo da predstavlja "živa neistina"

instead of "Female."

umesto "ženski".

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Walking around as a woman in the world

Dok sam hodao kroz svet kao žena

felt like walking with pebbles in my shoes.

osećao sam kao da hodam s kamenčićima u cipelama.

It took the rhythm out of my swagger,

Moje geganje je bilo bez ritma,

it threw me off balance,

gubio sam ravnotežu,

it pained me with every step I took forward.

svaki korak napred me je boleo.

But today I'm a man of my own intention;

Ali danas sam po sopstvenoj volji muškarac;

a man of my own design.

muškarac po sopstvenoj kreaciji.

Kim Katrin Milan: I am a cisgender queer woman.

Kim Katrin Milan: Ja sam cisrodna kvir žena.

Cisgender means the gender I was assigned at birth

Cisrodnost znači da rod koji mi je određen po rođenju

is still and has always been female.

još uvek jeste i uvek je bio ženski.

This doesn't make me natural or normal,

Zbog toga nisam prirodna ili normalna,

this is just one way of describing the many different ways

to je samo jedan od načina da se opišu brojni različiti načini

that we exist in this world.

na koje postojimo u svetu.

And queer is a cultural term,

A kvir je kulturološki termin,

but in this case,

ali u ovom slučaju

it refers to the way that I'm not restricted by gender

se odnosi na to da nisam ograničena rodom

when it comes to choosing partners.

kada se radi o izboru partnera.

I've identified in a few different ways --

Određuju me na nekoliko različitih načina -

as a bisexual, as a lesbian --

kao biseksualku, kao lezbejku -

but for me,

ali što se mene tiče

queerness encompasses all of the layers of who I am and how I've loved.

biti kvir obuhvata sve slojeve onoga ko sam i kako volim.

I'm layers, and not fractions.

Ja sam od slojeva, a ne od frakcija.

And for me,

A za mene

the fact that he was queer

je činjenica da je on kvir

meant that I could trust his courtship from the very beginning.

značila da mogu da verujem njegovom udvaranju od samog početka.

As queer and trans people,

Kao kvir i transrodni ljudi

we're so often excluded from institutions and traditions.

prečesto nas isključuju iz institucija i tradicija.

We create spaces outside of convention,

Stvaramo prostore van konvencija,

including the conventions of time.

uključujući konvencije vremena.

And in those 3,000 messages between us,

A u tih 3000 poruka između nas,

we collapsed time;

zaustavili smo vreme;

we queered it;

iskrivili smo ga;

we laid it all on the table.

sve smo izneli na čistac.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

With no pretense at all.

Bez ikakvog pretvaranja.

And this meant that we were able to commit to each other

To znači da smo bili u stanju da se posvetimo jedno drugom

in a profoundly different way.

na istinski različite načine.

So often what we're told is this idea of the "Golden Rule,"

Prečesto nam govore o nekakvoj ideji "zlatnog pravila",

that we should treat other people the way we want to be treated.

da bi trebalo da tretiramo druge kako želimo da se prema nama odnose.

But the problem with that

No problem s tim

is that it assumes that we are the standard for other people,

je u pretpostavci da smo mi standard za druge ljude,

and we're not.

a nismo.

We need to treat other people the way they want to be treated,

Moramo da tretiramo druge kako oni žele da se odnosimo prema njima,

which means we had to ask.

što znači da moramo da pitamo.

I couldn't assume that the kind of love that Tiq needed

Nisam pretpostavljala da je ljubav koja je potrebna Tiku

was the same kind of love that I needed.

ista ona koja je potrebna meni.

So I asked him everything -- about his fears, his insecurities --

Pa sam ga pitala o svemu - o njegovim strahovima, nesigurnostima -

and we started from there.

i počeli smo odatle.

TM: I didn't know what kind of love I needed.

TM: Nisam znao kakva mi je ljubav potrebna.

I had just come out of a year-long fog

Upravo sam bio izašao iz jednogodišnje magle,

of being rejected and utterly depleted.

bio sam odbačen i krajnje iscrpljen.

I had someone look me in my eyes

Neko me je pogledao u oči

and tell me that I was unworthy of their love because I was trans.

i rekao mi da nisam vredan njegove ljubavi jer sam transrodan.

And there's a culture of lovelessness

I postoji kultura odsustva ljubavi

that we've created around transgender people.

koju smo stvorili oko transrodnih ljudi.

It's reasoned, justified and often signed into law.

Ona je obrazložena, opravdana i često zakonski regulisana.

And I was a heartbeat away from internalizing that message,

I bio sam za dlaku daleko od internalizacije te poruke

that I wasn't worthy.

da sam bezvredan.

But Kim said that I was her ideal --

No Kim je rekla da sam njoj idealan -

the heartbroken mess that I was.

takav nered slomljenog srca.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

KKM: He totally was my ideal.

KKM: Skroz je bio idealan.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

In more ways than one.

Na više načina.

Both poets, writers, creatives

I kao pesnici, pisci, kreativci

with a long history of community work behind us,

s dugom istorijom rada u zajednici iza nas

and big, huge dreams of a family in front of us,

i s velikim, ogromnim snovima o porodici ispred nas,

we shared a lot of things in common,

mnogo toga nam je bilo zajedničko,

but we were also incredibly different.

ali smo bili i neverovatno različiti.

I've been a lifelong traveler and a bit of an orphan,

Ja sam čitav život bila putnica i na neki način siroče,

whereas he comes from a huge family,

dok on potiče iz ogromne porodice

and definitely stays grounded.

i definitivno je usidren.

I often kind of sum up the differences in our strengths

Često sumiram razlike u našim jačim stranama

by saying, "Keep me safe,

rečima: "Pruži mi bezbednost

and I'll keep you wild."

i ja ću ti pružiti slobodu."

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

TM: We have marginalized identities but we don't live marginalized lives.

TM: Imamo marginalizovane identitete, ali ne živimo marginalizovane živote.

Being queer and trans is about creating new ways of existing.

Kad ste kvir i transrodni radi se o stvaranju novih vidova postojanja.

It's about loving people as they are,

O tome da volite ljude kakvi jesu,

not as they're supposed to be.

a ne kakvi bi trebalo da budu.

Kim is unapologetically feminine

Kim je ženstvena bez pardona

in a world that is often cruel and violent

u svetu koji je često okrutan i nasilan

to women who are too proud and too freeing.

prema ženama koje su suviše ponosne i slobodne.

And I didn't enter into this union

I ja nisam ušao u ovu zajednicu

under the auspices that she was going to be my helper or my rib,

pod pretpostavkom da će ona da mi bude pomoćnik ili rebro,

but a fully complex --

već krajnje složeno -

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

KKM: Right? That's not right.

KKM: Zar ne? To nije ispravno.

TM: But a fully complex human being

TM: Već krajnje složeno ljudsko biće

whose femininity wasn't for me to rein in, control or critique.

čija ženstvenost nije tu da bih njome vladao, upravljao ili je kritikovao.

It's her brilliance,

To je njena briljantnost,

the way she leads with compassion,

način na koji predvodi saosećajno

and how she never loses sight of her empathy.

i kako nikad ne gubi iz vida svoju empatiju.

She has been my hero since day one.

Od prvog dana je bila moj heroj.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

KKM: Our relationship has always been about setting each other free.

KKM: Naš odnos je oduvek bio o oslobađanju jedno drugog.

One of the first questions I asked him

Među prvim pitanjima koje sam ga pitala

was what dreams he had left to accomplish,

je bilo koje snove nije još uvek ostvario

and how would I help him get there.

i kako da mu pomognem da u tome uspe.

His dreams to live as a poet,

Njegovi snovi da živi kao pesnik,

to adopt and raise a family together,

da usvoji i podigne porodicu sa mnom,

to live a life that he was proud of,

da živi život na koji je ponosan

and one that would live up to his mother's incredible legacy.

i koji će dosegnuti neverovatno zaveštanje njegove majke.

And I really appreciated that we were able to start from that place,

I ja sam zaista cenila to što smo mogli krenuti odatle,

and not from a place that was around figuring out

a ne s mesta na kom bismo razumevali

how to make each other work together.

kako da zajedno funkcionišemo.

And I think this really allowed us to grow into the people that we were

A smatram da nam je ovo zaista omogućilo da odrastemo u ljude koji jesmo

in a way that was incredibly different.

na izuzetno drugačiji način.

I love him whole;

Volim ga u potpunosti;

pre-transition, now and in the future.

pre prelaza, sada i u budućnosti.

And it's this love that had us committed to each other

A zbog ove ljubavi smo se posvetili jedno drugom,

before we'd even seen each other's faces.

čak pre nego što smo videli jedno drugom lice.

TM: My mother's biggest concern when I transitioned

TM: Najveća briga moje majke kad sam promenio rod

was who was going to love me as I am.

je bila ko će da me voli ovakvog.

Had being transgender somehow precluded me from love and monogamy

Da li me transrodnost nekako isključuje iz ljubavi i monogamije

because I was supposedly born in the wrong body?

jer sam navodno rođen u pogrešnom telu?

But it's this type of structuring that has to be reframed

Ali ovakav vid uobličavanja mora da bude preformulisan

in order to let love in.

kako bismo prihvatili ljubav.

My body never betrayed me,

Moje telo me nikad nije izdalo

and my body was never wrong.

i moje telo nikad nije bilo pogrešno,

It's this restrictive, binary thinking on gender

već ovo ograničavajuće, binarno razmišljanje o rodu

that said that I didn't exist.

koje tvrdi da ja ne postojim.

But when we met,

Ali kad smo se upoznali,

she loved me for exactly how I showed up.

zavolela me je baš onakvog kakav sam bio.

She would trace her fingers along the numb keloid scars

Prstima bi prelazila niz otupele keloidne ožiljke

left by my top surgery.

od operacija na mom torzu.

Scars that run from the middle of my chest all the way out to my outer torso.

Ožiljke koji idu od sredine mojih grudi skroz do spoljašnje strane mog torza.

She said that these were reminders of my strength

Rekla je da su to podsetnici moje snage

and everything that I went through

i svega kroz šta sam prošao

and nothing for me to be ashamed of.

i da nema razloga da ih se stidim.

So sprinting towards her hand in marriage

Pa je hrljenje u brak s njom

bilo nešto najčudnije što sam mogao da uradim.

was the queerest thing that I could do.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

It flew in the face of more conventional trajectories

Udaralo je šamar konvencionalnijim putanjama

of love and relationships,

ljubavi i veza,

because God was never supposed to bless a union for folks like us,

jer bog nikad ne bi trebalo da blagoslovi zajednicu ljudi poput nas,

and the law was never supposed to recognize it.

a zakon nikad ne bi trebalo da je prepozna.

KKM: So on May 5, 2014,

KKM: Stoga, 5. maja 2014,

just about three months after meeting online,

svega oko tri meseca nakon našeg susreta na internetu,

we were married on the steps of City Hall in Manhattan,

venčali smo se na stepenicama zgrade opštine na Menhetnu

and it was beautiful in every conceivable way.

i bilo je prelepo na sve zamislive načine.

It's safe to say that we reimagined some traditions,

Možemo slobodno reći da smo nanovo osmislili neke tradicije,

but we also kept some old ones that we worked in,

ali smo i zadržali neke stare koje smo preradili

and we created something that worked for us.

i stvorili smo nešto što je nama bilo dobro.

My bouquet and corsage was actually filled with wildflowers from Brooklyn --

Moj buket i korsaž su zapravo bili od poljskog cveća iz Bruklina -

also added in a little bit of lavender and sage to keep us grounded

takođe je dodato malo lavande i žalfije da nas drži pri zemlji

because we were so nervous.

jer smo bili veoma nervozni.

And it was put together by a sweet sister healer friend of ours.

I to je sastavila naša draga sestra isceliteljka.

I never wanted a diamond ring,

Nisam želela dijamantski prsten

because conflict and convention are not my thing,

jer konflikti i konvencije nisu u mom maniru,

so my ring is the deepest purple,

te je moj prsten najtamnije ljubičaste boje,

like the color of my crown chakra,

poput boje moje glavne čakre

and set in place with my birthstones.

i uklopljen je sa mojim astrološkim kamenjem.

The gift of queerness is options.

Dar kvirnoće je u opcijama.

I never had to choose his last name,

Nisam morala da uzmem njegovo prezime,

it was never an exception,

nikad nije bilo izuzetak,

but I did because I am my father's bastard child,

ali jesam jer sam kopile mog oca,

someone who has always been an apology, a secret, an imposition.

neko ko je oduvek bio izvinjenje, tajna, teret.

And it was incredibly freeing

I bilo je izuzetno oslobađajuće

to choose the name of a man who chose me first.

izabrati prezime čoveka kome sam bila prvi izbor.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

TM: So we told some family and some close friends,

TM: Obavestili smo neke članove porodice i bliske prijatelje,

many of whom were still in disbelief as we took our vows.

mnogi od njih su i dalje bili u neverici dok smo izgovarali zavete.

Fittingly, we posted all of our wedding photos on Facebook,

Kako je i red, postavili smo sve slike s našeg venčanja na Fejsbuk

where we met --

gde smo se upoznali -

and Instagram, of course.

i na Instagram, naravno.

And we quickly realized

I ubrzo smo shvatili

that our coming together was more than just a union of two people,

da naša zajednica nije samo unija dvoje ljudi,

but was a model of possibility for the millions of LGBTQ folks

već da je to primer mogućnosti za milione LGBTK ljudi

who have been sold this lie

kojima je prodana ta laž

that family and matrimony is antithetical to who they are --

da su porodica i brak antiteza onome što su oni -

for those of us who rarely get to see ourselves

za sve nas koji retko viđamo

reflected in love and happiness.

svoj odraz u ljubavi i sreći.

KKM: And the thing is,

KKM: A radi se o tome

absolutely we are marginalized because of our identities,

da smo potpuno marginalizovani zbog naših identiteta,

but it also emboldens us to be the people that we are.

ali nas to i ohrabruje da budemo ljudi koji jesmo.

Queerness is our major key;

Kvirnoća je naša ključna karakteristika;

blackness is our magic.

crna koža je naša magija.

It's because of these things

Zbog svega ovoga

that we are able to be hopeful, open, receptive and shape-shifting.

smo sposobni da se nadamo, otvorimo, budemo prijemčivi i preobražajni.

These are the things that give us,

Sve ovo nam pruža snagu

and are such an incredible source of, our strength.

i izuzetan je izvor naše strage.

Our queerness is a source of that strength.

Naša kvirnoća je izvor te snage.

I think of the words of Ottawa-based poet Brandon Wint:

Sećam se reči pesnika iz Otave Brendona Vita:

"Not queer like gay; queer like escaping definition.

"Ne kvir kao gej; kvir kao neko ko izmiče određenjima.

Queer like some sort of fluidity and limitlessness all at once.

Kvir poput nekakve fluidnosti i bezgraničnosti istovremeno.

Queer like a freedom too strange to be conquered.

Kvir poput slobode isuviše čudne da bi je osvojili.

Queer like the fearlessness to imagine what love can look like,

Kvir poput odvažnosti da zamislimo kako ljubav može da izgleda

and to pursue it."

i da tragamo za njom."

TM: We are part of a community of folks --

TM: Mi smo deo zajednice ljudi -

Yeah, that's good right?

Da, to je dobro, zar ne?

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

We are part of a community of folks who are living their authentic selves

Deo smo zajednice ljudi koji žive na sebi svojstven način

all along the gender spectrum,

duž rodnog spektra,

despite the ubiquitous threat of violence,

uprkos sveprisutnoj pretnji od nasilja,

despite the undercurrent of anxiety that always is present

uprkos pritajenom nespokoju koji je uvek prisutan

for people who live on their own terms.

kod ljudi koji žive po svojim pravilima.

Globally, a transgender person is murdered every 21 hours.

Globalno, transrodna osoba je ubijena na svaki 21 sat.

And the United States has had more trans murders on record this year

A SAD su imale više zabeleženih ubistava transrodnih osoba ove godine

than any year to date.

nego bilo koje godine do sad.

However, our stories are much more than this rigid dichotomy

Međutim, naše priče su daleko iznad ove krute dihotomije

of strength and resilience.

snage i otpornosti.

We are expanding the human complexity on these margins,

Rastežemo ljudsku složenost na ovim marginama

and we are creating freedom on these margins.

i stvaramo slobodu na ovim marginama.

KKM: And we don't have any blueprints.

KKM: I nemamo bilo kakve nacrte.

We're creating a world that we have literally never seen before;

Stvaramo svet koji bukvalno nikad pre nismo videli;

organizing families based on love and not by blood,

formiramo porodice na osnovu ljubavi, a ne krvi,

guiding by a compassion that so few of us have been shown ourselves.

vođeni saosećanjem koje je nekolicina nas pokazala sebi samima.

So many of us have not received love from our families --

Toliko nas nije dobilo ljubav iz naših porodica -

have been betrayed by the people that we trust most.

izdali su nas ljudi kojima smo najviše verovali.

So what we do here is we create entirely new languages of love.

Stoga mi ovde stvaramo potpuno nove jezike ljubavi,

Ones that are about creating the space for us to be our authentic selves

kod kojih se radi o stvaranju prostora u kom bismo bili istinski mi,

and not imposing this standard

a koji ne nameću standarad

of what masculinity or femininity is supposed to be.

o tome šta bi muževnost ili ženstvenost trebalo da budu.

TM: We are interested in love and inclusion

TM: Nas zanima ljubav i inkluzija

as a tool of revolutionary change, right?

kao oruđa revolucionarne promene, zar ne?

And the idea is simply,

A zamisao je prosta,

if we drop all our preconceived notions

ako napustimo sve pretpostavke

about how somebody is supposed to be --

o tome kakav bi neko trebalo da bude -

in their body, in their gender, in their skin --

u svom telu, u svom rodu, u svojoj koži -

if we take the intentional steps to unlearn these deep-seated biases

ako napravimo voljne korake da zaboravimo ove ukorenjene predrasude

and create space for people to be self-determined,

i stvorimo prostor za ljude da budu samoodlučni

and embrace who they are,

i da prigrle to ko su,

then we will definitely create a better world than the one we were born into.

onda ćemo definitivno stvoriti bolji svet od onog u kom smo rođeni.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

KKM: We want to mark this time in history

KKM: Želimo da obeležimo ovaj istorijski momenat

by leaving evidence of the fact that we were here.

ostavljajući dokaz činjenice da smo bili tu.

We open up little windows into our relationship

Otvaramo prozorčiće u naše odnose

for our community to bear witness,

za naše zajednice da budu svedoci,

and we do this because we want to make maps to the future

a radimo to jer želimo da napravimo mape za budućnost,

and not monuments to ourselves.

a ne spomenike nama samima.

Our experience does not invalidate other peoples' experience,

Naše iskustvo ne poništava iskustva drugih ljudi,

but it should and necessarily does complicate this idea

ali bi trebalo, i nužno to radi, da komplikuje samu zamisao

of what love and marriage are supposed to be.

o tome šta bi ljubav i brak trebalo da budu.

TM: OK, now for all the talking,

TM: U redu, uz svu priču,

and inspiring,

i inspirativnost

and possibility-modeling we've done,

i dostignuće oblikovanja mogućnosti,

we've been nowhere near perfect.

nismo ni blizu savršeni.

And we've had to hold a mirror up to ourselves.

I morali smo da držimo ogledalo nama samima.

And I saw that I wasn't always the best listener,

I ja sam uvideo da nisam uvek najbolji slušalac,

and that my ego got in the way of our progress as a couple.

i da je moj ego stao na put našem napredovanju kao para.

And I've had to really assess these deep-seated, sexist ideas

I morao sam zaista da se bavim duboko ukorenjenim seksističkim idejama

that I've had about the value of a woman's experience in the world.

koje sam imao o značaju ženskog iskustva u svetu.

I've had to reevaluate what it means to be in allyship with my wife.

Morao sam iznova da vrednujem šta znači biti u savezu s mojom suprugom.

KKM: And I had to remind myself of a lot of things, too.

KKM: I ja sam morala da podsećam sebe na mnogo toga.

What it means to be hard on the issues,

Šta znači biti stroga kod ideja,

but soft on the person.

ali popustljiva prema osobama.

While we were writing this, we got into a massive fight.

Dok smo pisali ovaj govor, silno smo se posvađali.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

For so many different reasons,

Zbog toliko različitih razloga,

but based on the content about our values and our lived experiences --

a sve zbog sadržaja o našim vrednostima i našim proživljenim iskustvima -

and we were really hurt, you know?

i zaista smo bili povređeni, znate?

Because what we do and how we love puts ourselves entirely on the line.

Jer to što radimo i kako volimo nas u potpunosti izlaže opasnosti.

But even though the fight lasted over the course of two days --

No, iako je svađa trajala tokom dva dana -

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

We were able to come back together to each other,

Uspeli smo da se vratimo zajedno jedno drugom,

and recommit to ourselves, to each other and to our marriage.

i da se nanovo obavežemo nama, jedno drugom i našem braku.

And that really yielded some of the most passionate parts

I to je zaista izrodilo neke od najstrastvenijih delova

of what we share with you here today.

onoga što delimo s vama danas.

TM: I have had to interrogate masculinity,

TM: Morao sam da preispitam muževnost,

which I think doesn't happen enough.

a to se, verujem, ne dešava dovoljno.

I've had to interrogate masculinity;

Morao sam da preispitam muževnost;

the toxic privileges that come with being a man don't define me,

zarazne privilegije koje dolaze s muškim rodom me ne određuju,

but I have to be accountable for how it shows up in my life every day.

već moram da budem odgovoran za njihovo svakodnevno ispoljavanje u mom životu.

I have allowed my wife to do all of the emotional labor

Pustio sam da se moja supruga bavi celokupnim emotivnim poslom

of prying open the lines of communication when I'd rather clam up and run away.

ispitivanja otvorenih granica komunikacije kad bih se ja radije poklopio i pobegao.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

I've stripped away emotional support instead of facing my own vulnerabilities,

Uklonio sam emotivnu podršku umesto da se suočim sa sopstvenom ranjivošću,

particularly around the heartbreaking miscarriage we suffered last year,

naročito oko srceparajućeg pobačaja koji smo imali prošle godine,

and I'm sorry for that.

i žao mi je zbog toga.

Sometimes as men, we get to take the easy way out.

Ponekad se kao muškarci izvučemo na lakši način.

And so my journey as a trans person is about reimagining masculinity.

Te je moje putovanje transrodne osobe o novom osmišljavanju muževnosti.

About creating a manhood that isn't measured

O stvaranju muškosti koja se ne meri

by the power it wields, by the entitlements afforded to it,

moći koju poseduje, pravima koja su joj dodeljena

or any simulacrum of control that it can muster,

ili bilo kakvim prividom kontrole koju može da prizove,

but works in tandem with femininity,

već radi u tandemu sa ženstvenošću

and is guided by my spirit.

i vođena je mojim duhom.

KKM: Y'all ...

KKM: Ljudi...

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

And this has created the space for my femininity to flourish

A to je stvorilo prostor za moju ženstvenost da procveta

in a way I had never experienced before.

na način koji nisam iskusila pre.

He never is threatened by my sexuality,

Nikad nije ugrožen mojom seksualnošću,

he never polices what I wear or how I act.

nikad ne kontroliše šta oblačim ili kako se ponašam.

I cook but he does way more of the cleaning than I do.

Ja kuvam, ali on daleko više posprema od mene.

And when we're rushing to get out of the house

A kada žurimo da napustimo kuću

and we have so much to handle,

i imamo toliko toga da obavimo,

he handles everything,

on sve obavlja,

so I have time to do my hair and makeup.

pa ja imam vremena za frizuru i šminku.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

He understands that this is my armor,

On razume da je ovo moj oklop,

and he never treats femininity as though it is frivolous or superficial,

i nikad se ne odnosi prema ženstvenosti kao da je frivolna i površna,

and this, and him --

a to i on -

he grows my experience of gender every single day.

šire moje iskustvo roda svakog dana.

TM: I love to watch her get dressed in the morning.

TM: Volim da je posmatram kako se oblači ujutru.

Watching her in the closet,

Da je posmatram u ormaru,

looking for something comfortable and colorful, and tight,

kako traži nešto udobno, šarenoliko i usko

and safe --

i bezbedno -

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

But it's challenging to watch her negotiate her decisions

Ali je izazov posmatrati je kako dolazi do odluke,

looking for something that's going to get the least amount of attention,

tražeći nešto što će privlačiti najmanje pažnje,

but at the same time be an expression of the vibrant and sexy woman she is.

ali će istovremeno biti izraz nje kao energične i izazovne žene.

And all I want to do is celebrate her for her beauty,

I ja samo želim da je slavim zbog njene lepote

and the things that make her beautiful and special and free,

i zbog onoga što je čini lepom i posebnom i slobodnom,

from her long acrylic nails,

od njenih dugih noktiju od akrila

to her uncompromising black feminism.

do njenog beskompromisnog crnačkog feminzma.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

KKM: I love you. TM: I love you.

KKM: Volim te. TM: Volim te.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

KKM: There are so many queer and trans people

KKM: Ima toliko kvir i transrodnih ljudi

who have come before us,

koji su postojali pre nas,

whose stories we will never get to hear.

čije priče nikada nećemo čuti.

We constantly experience this retelling of history

Stalno proživljavamo novo pripovedanje istorije

where we are conspicuously left out.

u kojoj smo upadljivo izostavljeni.

And it's really hard to not see ourselves there.

A zaista je teško da se ne vidimo tu.

And so living out loud for us is about that representation.

Stoga se kod našeg upadljivog postojanja radi o našem predstavljanju.

It's about having possibility models,

Radi se o postojanju uzora mogućnosti

and having hope that love is part of our inheritance in this world, too.

i posedovanju nade da je ljubav deo i našeg nasleđa u ovom svetu.

TM: The possibility that we are practicing

TM: Mogućnost koju praktikujemo

is about reinventing time, love and institutions.

je o novom osmišljavanju vremena, ljubavi i institucija.

We are creating a future of multiplicity.

Stvaramo budućnost raznovrsnosti.

We are expanding the spectrum of gender and sexuality,

Širimo spektar roda i seksualnosti,

imagining ourselves into existence,

osmišljavamo sopstveno postojanje,

imagining a world where gender is self-determined and not imposed,

osmišljavamo svet u kome je rod samoodređen, a ne nametnut

and where who we are is a kaleidoscope of possibility

i u kome je to ko smo kaleidoskop mogućnosti

without the narrow-minded limitations masquerading as science or justice.

bez uskogrudih ograničenja koja se uzimaju kao nauka ili pravda.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

KKM: And I can't lie:

KKM: I ne mogu da lažem:

it is really, really hard.

zasta, zaista je teško.

It is hard to stand in the face of bigotry

Teško je stajati suočena s netrpeljivošću,

with an open heart and a smile on my face.

otovorenog srca i sa osmehom na licu.

It is really hard to face the injustice that exists in the world,

Zaista je teško suočiti se s nepravdom koja postoji u svetu,

while still believing in the ability of people to really change.

i dalje verujući u mogućnost istinskih promena kod ljudi.

That takes an enormous amount of faith and dedication.

To iziskuje ogromnu količinu vere i posvećenosti.

And beyond that,

A i mimo toga,

marriage is hard work.

brak je težak posao.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Piles of dirty socks on the floor,

Gomile prljavih čarapa na podu,

more boring sports shows than I ever thought possible --

više dosadnih sportskih emisija nego što sam mislila da je moguće -

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And fights that bring me to tears

I svađe koje me dovode do suza,

when it feels like we're not speaking the same language.

kad se čini da ne govorimo istim jezkom.

But there is not a day that goes by

Ali ne prođe ni dan

where I am not so grateful to be married to this man;

da nisam zahvalna što sam udata za ovog čoveka;

where I'm not so grateful for the possibility of changing minds,

gde sam veoma zahvalna zbog mogućnosti menjanja umova,

and rewarding conversations,

i plodotovornih razgovora

and creating a world where love belongs to us all.

i stvaranja sveta u kom ljubav pripada svima nama.

I think about our acronym:

Razmišljam o akronimu:

LGBTQ2SIA.

LGBTK2SIA.

A seemingly endless evolution of self and a community,

Naoko beskrajna evolucija sebe i zajednice,

but also this really deep desire not to leave anyone behind.

ali takođe istinski jaka želja da niko ne bude izostavljen.

We've learned how to love each other,

Naučili smo kako da volimo jedni druge,

and we've committed to loving each other throughout changes to gender

i obavezali smo se da volimo jedni druge kroz izmene roda

and changes in spirit.

i izmene duha.

And we learned this love in our chat rooms,

I naučili smo ovu ljubav u našim prostorima za ćaskanje,

in our clubs, in our bars and in our community centers.

u našim klubovima, u našim barovima i u našim društvenim centrima.

We've learned how to love each other for the long haul.

Naučili smo kako da volimo jedni druge na duge staze.

TM & KKM: Thank you.

TM i KKM: Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)