A queer vision of love and marriage | Tiq Milan and Kim Katrin Milan

譯者: Ivy Chen 審譯者: Winston Szeto

Tiq Milan: Our first conversation was on Facebook,

列･米蘭（TM）：我們的 第一次對話是在Facebook上，

and it was three days long.

這對話長達三天之久。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

We shared over 3,000 messages between us,

我們彼此分享了超過3000條訊息，

and it was during those 72 hours that I knew she was going to be my wife.

在72小時裡的對話， 我知道她將會成為我的妻子。

We didn't wait any prerequisite amount of time for our courtship;

我們毋須等候一段時間才向對方求愛，

we told each other the vulnerable truths up front:

我們開門見山告訴了彼此 那脆弱的真相：

I am a transgender man,

我是一名跨性別男性。

which means the F on my birth certificate should have stood for "False,"

我出生證上的字母F， 應該是「錯誤的」意思，

instead of "Female."

而非「女性」。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Walking around as a woman in the world

以女性的身分立足這世界

felt like walking with pebbles in my shoes.

感覺就像是鞋裏放了鵝卵石走著。

It took the rhythm out of my swagger,

這使我無法昂首闊步，

it threw me off balance,

這使我失去平衡，

it pained me with every step I took forward.

這讓我每往前一步都感到疼痛。

But today I'm a man of my own intention;

但今天，我出於自己的意願 成為了男性，

a man of my own design.

由自己設計成為了男性。

Kim Katrin Milan: I am a cisgender queer woman.

金･凱特林･米蘭（KKM）： 我是一名順性別的酷兒女性。

Cisgender means the gender I was assigned at birth

順性別的意思是 我出生時是一名女性，

is still and has always been female.

到如今一直以來都仍是女性。

This doesn't make me natural or normal,

但這並不會讓我覺得自然或正常，

this is just one way of describing the many different ways

這只是用來描述我們在這個世界上 存在的各種形態中的一種。

that we exist in this world.

And queer is a cultural term,

酷兒是一個文化術語，

but in this case,

但是這種語境中，

it refers to the way that I'm not restricted by gender

這意指當我選擇另一半的時候， 我不受自己的性別限制。

when it comes to choosing partners.

I've identified in a few different ways --

我曾用不同的方式定義自己—

as a bisexual, as a lesbian --

雙性戀、女同性戀者—

but for me,

但對我來說，

queerness encompasses all of the layers of who I am and how I've loved.

酷兒性包含了我是誰 和我如何去愛的所有層次。

I'm layers, and not fractions.

我是以層次而非片段形式的。

And for me,

對於我，

the fact that he was queer

他也是酷兒的事實

meant that I could trust his courtship from the very beginning.

意味著我從一開始就能夠 相信他對我的追求。

As queer and trans people,

作為酷兒和跨性別人士，

we're so often excluded from institutions and traditions.

我們經常被制度和傳統拒之門外。

We create spaces outside of convention,

我們在規矩以外創建新空間，

including the conventions of time.

也包括在時間規矩以外。

And in those 3,000 messages between us,

在我們之間的那3000條訊息，

we collapsed time;

我們把時間瓦解；

we queered it;

我們破壞時間；

we laid it all on the table.

我們把全部的時間放到檯面上。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

With no pretense at all.

沒有任何的隱藏與虛假。

And this meant that we were able to commit to each other

這就意味著我們可用截然不同的方式 對彼此做出承諾。

in a profoundly different way.

So often what we're told is this idea of the "Golden Rule,"

我們經常被告知的「金科玉律」

that we should treat other people the way we want to be treated.

就是己所不欲，勿施於人。

But the problem with that

但問題是，

is that it assumes that we are the standard for other people,

這假設了我們就是其他人的標準，

and we're not.

可是我們不是。

We need to treat other people the way they want to be treated,

己所不欲，勿施於人，

which means we had to ask.

就是我們必須去問。

I couldn't assume that the kind of love that Tiq needed

我不能假設阿列需要的那種爱情

was the same kind of love that I needed.

和我需要的那種是一樣的。

So I asked him everything -- about his fears, his insecurities --

所以我向他問所有事， 包括他的恐懼與不安，

and we started from there.

而我們就是從這裡開始。

TM: I didn't know what kind of love I needed.

TM：我不知道我需要哪種的愛情。

I had just come out of a year-long fog

我才剛走出長達一年 被拒絕和完全空虛的陰霾。

of being rejected and utterly depleted.

I had someone look me in my eyes

曾有一個人看著我的眼睛

and tell me that I was unworthy of their love because I was trans.

告訴我：因為我是跨性別者， 所以我不值得被愛。

And there's a culture of lovelessness

我們創造了圍繞著 跨性別者的無情文化。

that we've created around transgender people.

It's reasoned, justified and often signed into law.

它經過詳盡論述、合理化， 往往被寫進法律裡。

And I was a heartbeat away from internalizing that message,

我幾乎把這個訊息內化了，

that I wasn't worthy.

認為自己不值得被愛。

But Kim said that I was her ideal --

但金說我是她的理想對象：

the heartbroken mess that I was.

我這樣一個心碎的可憐蟲。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

KKM: He totally was my ideal.

KKM：他完全是我的理想對象。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

In more ways than one.

他在很多方面都是。

Both poets, writers, creatives

我們都是詩人、作家、創作者，

with a long history of community work behind us,

彼此都有長時間的社區服務經驗，

and big, huge dreams of a family in front of us,

都有建立家庭的宏大夢想，

we shared a lot of things in common,

我們有很多共同的特質，

but we were also incredibly different.

但我們卻又如此地不同。

I've been a lifelong traveler and a bit of an orphan,

我是一個終生的旅行者， 不常跟家人待在一起，

whereas he comes from a huge family,

然而他來自大家庭，

and definitely stays grounded.

一直以來都很沉穩踏實。

I often kind of sum up the differences in our strengths

我往往這樣總結 我們強項之間的分別：

by saying, "Keep me safe,

「你一直給我安全感，

and I'll keep you wild."

我就一直使你狂野。」

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

TM: We have marginalized identities but we don't live marginalized lives.

TM：雖然我們的身分被邊緣化， 但我們卻不是過著邊緣化的生活。

Being queer and trans is about creating new ways of existing.

作為酷兒和跨性别者 就是以新的方式生存。

It's about loving people as they are,

這就是去愛這個人原本的樣子，

not as they're supposed to be.

而不是愛他們應該要變成的樣子。

Kim is unapologetically feminine

金是義無反顧地女性化，

in a world that is often cruel and violent

而這個世界往往殘酷並暴力對待 過於自信或放縱的女性。

to women who are too proud and too freeing.

And I didn't enter into this union

我和她結合並非要指望她照顧我 或成為我的終身伴侶，

under the auspices that she was going to be my helper or my rib,

but a fully complex --

而是因為她是一個完整複雜…

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

KKM: Right? That's not right.

KKM: 是吧？那樣不對吧。

TM: But a fully complex human being

TM: 她是一個完整複雜的人，

whose femininity wasn't for me to rein in, control or critique.

她的女性化特質 不是由我來駕馭、控制或批判。

It's her brilliance,

因為她的才智、著重溫情的領導方式 和永遠堅守自己的同理心，

the way she leads with compassion,

and how she never loses sight of her empathy.

She has been my hero since day one.

她從一開始就是我的英雄。

(Applause)

（掌聲）

KKM: Our relationship has always been about setting each other free.

KKM: 我們的感情在於給對方自由。

One of the first questions I asked him

我最早問他的問題之一就是：

was what dreams he had left to accomplish,

他還有什麼樣的夢想尚未達到？

and how would I help him get there.

而我能夠怎麼樣幫助他達到夢想？

His dreams to live as a poet,

他的夢想是以詩人身分生活，

to adopt and raise a family together,

領養小孩，和我一起建立家庭，

to live a life that he was proud of,

去過令他感到驕傲的人生，

and one that would live up to his mother's incredible legacy.

一個不負他母親不朽傳承的人生。

And I really appreciated that we were able to start from that place,

我感激當時我們可以從這部分開始，

and not from a place that was around figuring out

而不是由探索怎樣互相磨合開始。

how to make each other work together.

And I think this really allowed us to grow into the people that we were

我覺得這讓我們 以與眾不同的方式成長。

in a way that was incredibly different.

I love him whole;

我愛他的全部；

pre-transition, now and in the future.

轉性前、現在還有未來的他。

And it's this love that had us committed to each other

就是這樣的愛 令我們對彼此做出承諾，

before we'd even seen each other's faces.

儘管我們當時還未見面。

TM: My mother's biggest concern when I transitioned

TM：我母親最大的擔心， 就是當我轉性後

was who was going to love me as I am.

誰還會愛我這個人本身。

Had being transgender somehow precluded me from love and monogamy

我是跨性別、被認為生在錯的肉體， 就要被愛情和夫妻制度拒之門外嗎﹖

because I was supposedly born in the wrong body?

But it's this type of structuring that has to be reframed

但這種結構必須要被重新訂立框架，

in order to let love in.

才能讓愛進入其中。

My body never betrayed me,

我的身體從沒背叛過我，

and my body was never wrong.

我的身體也從沒有錯。

It's this restrictive, binary thinking on gender

就是這具有約束性的性別二元思想

that said that I didn't exist.

認為我是不存在的。

But when we met,

但當我們遇見對方時，

she loved me for exactly how I showed up.

她就愛我在她面前的樣子。

She would trace her fingers along the numb keloid scars

她會用手指劃在我接受平胸手術後 留下的無知覺疙瘩疤痕。

left by my top surgery.

Scars that run from the middle of my chest all the way out to my outer torso.

疤痕從我的胸膛中間 一路延伸到我的外軀幹。

She said that these were reminders of my strength

她說那提醒了我有多堅強

and everything that I went through

和我所經歷的一切，

and nothing for me to be ashamed of.

而這沒有什麼可令我感到羞愧的。

So sprinting towards her hand in marriage

所以用短跑衝刺的速度和她步入禮堂

was the queerest thing that I could do.

是我可以做的最「酷兒」的事。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

It flew in the face of more conventional trajectories

這卻是公然違抗 愛情和親密關係的傳統軌跡，

of love and relationships,

because God was never supposed to bless a union for folks like us,

因為上帝被認為從不會 祝福我們這種人的結合，

and the law was never supposed to recognize it.

而法律被認為從不會承認我們。

KKM: So on May 5, 2014,

KKM: 所以在2014年5月5日，

just about three months after meeting online,

我們在網路上相遇的約三個月後，

we were married on the steps of City Hall in Manhattan,

在曼哈頓市政廳的階梯上結婚了，

and it was beautiful in every conceivable way.

這無論從任何方式想像都是美好的。

It's safe to say that we reimagined some traditions,

保守地說，我們把一些傳統重新塑造，

but we also kept some old ones that we worked in,

但我們還是保留一些適合我們的傳統，

and we created something that worked for us.

和創造一些適合我們的方式。

My bouquet and corsage was actually filled with wildflowers from Brooklyn --

我的花束和點綴裙子的花 都是來自布魯克林的野花，

also added in a little bit of lavender and sage to keep us grounded

還加了一點薰衣草和鼠尾草 用來平靜我們的心情，

because we were so nervous.

因為我們當時很緊張。

And it was put together by a sweet sister healer friend of ours.

花朵都是由我們一位 和藹可親的甜姐兒朋友安排。

I never wanted a diamond ring,

我從沒想過要鑽戒，

because conflict and convention are not my thing,

因為衝突和遵從慣例 都不是我的風格，

so my ring is the deepest purple,

所以我的戒指是暗紫色，

like the color of my crown chakra,

就像我頂輪的顏色，

and set in place with my birthstones.

其中鑲上了我的誕生石。

The gift of queerness is options.

身為酷兒的好處就是可以選擇。

I never had to choose his last name,

我從不用冠他的姓氏，

it was never an exception,

這個一直並不意外，

but I did because I am my father's bastard child,

但我卻冠了他的姓氏， 因為我是父親的私生女，

someone who has always been an apology, a secret, an imposition.

我從來就是他要道歉的原因， 是他的秘密，是他被迫接受的東西。

And it was incredibly freeing

能去選擇那先選擇我的男人的名字， 那感覺是非常痛快的。

to choose the name of a man who chose me first.

(Applause)

（掌聲）

TM: So we told some family and some close friends,

TM：我們把喜事告訴一些親友時，

many of whom were still in disbelief as we took our vows.

很多人還是不相信我們已經立誓。

Fittingly, we posted all of our wedding photos on Facebook,

很貼切地，我們把婚禮照放在Facebook，

where we met --

也就是我們相遇的地方上面，

and Instagram, of course.

當然還有Instagram。

And we quickly realized

而我們很快意識到，

that our coming together was more than just a union of two people,

我們結婚並非只是兩人的結合，

but was a model of possibility for the millions of LGBTQ folks

而是為數百萬多元性別的人立下榜樣；

他們都被勸誘相信一個謊言，

who have been sold this lie

that family and matrimony is antithetical to who they are --

就是家庭和婚姻 跟他們的身分是對立的。

for those of us who rarely get to see ourselves

他們甚少想到自己獲得愛和快樂， 而我們就要讓他們知道這是可能的。

reflected in love and happiness.

KKM: And the thing is,

KKM：事實上，

absolutely we are marginalized because of our identities,

我們當然是因為 自身的身分而被邊緣化，

but it also emboldens us to be the people that we are.

但這也使我們有膽量 去展現真實的自我。

Queerness is our major key;

酷兒特性是我們的主要鑰匙；

blackness is our magic.

黑色是我們的魔法。

It's because of these things

就是因為這些東西，

that we are able to be hopeful, open, receptive and shape-shifting.

我們才能變得充滿希望， 開放心靈，懂得接納和轉變型態。

These are the things that give us,

這些東西都是我們神奇的力量泉源。

and are such an incredible source of, our strength.

Our queerness is a source of that strength.

我們的酷兒特性就是那力量的泉源。

I think of the words of Ottawa-based poet Brandon Wint:

我想起了渥太華詩人 布蘭登･温特的話：

"Not queer like gay; queer like escaping definition.

「不要像同性戀的酷兒， 而是不受定義約束的酷兒。

Queer like some sort of fluidity and limitlessness all at once.

同時瞬間流動、無止境的酷兒。

Queer like a freedom too strange to be conquered.

以前所未有的自由拒絕支配的酷兒。

Queer like the fearlessness to imagine what love can look like,

無懼想象愛的樣子 並追求愛的酷兒。」

and to pursue it."

TM: We are part of a community of folks --

TM：我們都是群體中的一部分...

Yeah, that's good right?

剛剛那段不錯吧？

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

We are part of a community of folks who are living their authentic selves

我們是這群體的一部分， 橫跨性別光譜活出真我，

all along the gender spectrum,

despite the ubiquitous threat of violence,

不管那些無處不在的暴力脅迫，

despite the undercurrent of anxiety that always is present

不管那些以自我方式生活的人們 總是存在的焦慮暗湧。

for people who live on their own terms.

Globally, a transgender person is murdered every 21 hours.

全世界每21小時 就有一名跨性别人士被殺。

And the United States has had more trans murders on record this year

美國今年紀錄在案的跨性别者被殺案 比以往任何一年都要高。

than any year to date.

However, our stories are much more than this rigid dichotomy

然而，我們的故事遠遠超越 力量與柔韌兩者之間的嚴格二分。

of strength and resilience.

We are expanding the human complexity on these margins,

我們正在這些邊緣位置 擴大人類的複雜性，

and we are creating freedom on these margins.

我們正在這些邊緣位置創造自由。

KKM: And we don't have any blueprints.

KKM：我們沒有任何藍圖。

We're creating a world that we have literally never seen before;

我們正在創造一個 我們從未見過的世界；

organizing families based on love and not by blood,

以愛而非血緣關係去組織家庭，

guiding by a compassion that so few of us have been shown ourselves.

以很少人曾展現的同情心作嚮導。

So many of us have not received love from our families --

我們當中很多人都未曾從家庭得到愛，

have been betrayed by the people that we trust most.

反而被我們最信任的人所背叛。

So what we do here is we create entirely new languages of love.

所以我們現在做的 就是創造全新的愛的語言。

Ones that are about creating the space for us to be our authentic selves

這種語言開拓全新空間 讓我們活出真我，

and not imposing this standard

不將男性化與女性化 應該如何的標準強加於人。

of what masculinity or femininity is supposed to be.

TM: We are interested in love and inclusion

TM：我們想要把愛和包容 作為達致革命性轉變的工具。

as a tool of revolutionary change, right?

And the idea is simply,

這想法其實很簡單，

if we drop all our preconceived notions

只要我們抛開一個人應是如何的 先入為主觀念就可以—

about how somebody is supposed to be --

in their body, in their gender, in their skin --

例如有某種身體、性別、膚色的人 應是如何的觀念—

if we take the intentional steps to unlearn these deep-seated biases

只要我們立心放下 這些根深蒂固的偏見、

and create space for people to be self-determined,

創造空間讓人們自決 和擁抱自我就可以。

and embrace who they are,

then we will definitely create a better world than the one we were born into.

那我們絕對可以創造出一個 比我們出生時更好的世界。

(Applause)

（掌聲）

KKM: We want to mark this time in history

KKM：我們希望把身在這裡的事實 寫進歷史裡。

by leaving evidence of the fact that we were here.

We open up little windows into our relationship

我們開了多扇窗戶 讓社群見證我們的親密關係。

for our community to bear witness,

and we do this because we want to make maps to the future

我們這樣做的原因 是要繪畫通往未來的地圖，

and not monuments to ourselves.

而不是要給自己建立紀念碑。

Our experience does not invalidate other peoples' experience,

我們的經驗不能否定他人的經歷，

but it should and necessarily does complicate this idea

但應該而且必要地 把愛和婚姻應是如何的問題複雜化。

of what love and marriage are supposed to be.

TM: OK, now for all the talking,

TM：我們多次闡述立場、啟迪他人、 為他人立下一切可行的榜樣，

and inspiring,

and possibility-modeling we've done,

we've been nowhere near perfect.

但我們並未完人。

And we've had to hold a mirror up to ourselves.

我們要不時拿起鏡子仔細端詳自己，

And I saw that I wasn't always the best listener,

我看見自己並非經常是最佳聆聽者，

and that my ego got in the way of our progress as a couple.

也看見自己的自負 阻礙了伴侶兩人的成長。

And I've had to really assess these deep-seated, sexist ideas

我要不時去認真評估全世界 對女性的體驗根深蒂固的歧視。

that I've had about the value of a woman's experience in the world.

I've had to reevaluate what it means to be in allyship with my wife.

我要不時重新審視 我與妻子結盟的意義。

KKM: And I had to remind myself of a lot of things, too.

KKM：我也必須去提醒自己很多事情。

What it means to be hard on the issues,

例如該如何在議題上 堅持立場的同時，對人寬容。

but soft on the person.

While we were writing this, we got into a massive fight.

我們在寫講稿時還發生了極大的爭執。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

For so many different reasons,

爭執的原因有很多，

but based on the content about our values and our lived experiences --

但都是基於我們的價值觀和生活經歷，

and we were really hurt, you know?

而我們曾經飽受傷害。

Because what we do and how we love puts ourselves entirely on the line.

因為我們的行為和愛的方式 都使我們完全處於苦境。

But even though the fight lasted over the course of two days --

即使爭吵持續了兩天，

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

We were able to come back together to each other,

我們還是回到了彼此身邊，

and recommit to ourselves, to each other and to our marriage.

重新忠於自己、彼此和我們的婚姻。

And that really yielded some of the most passionate parts

這帶出我們今天分享給大家的 一些最熱情激昂的部分。

of what we share with you here today.

TM: I have had to interrogate masculinity,

TM：我要不時就男性化作出質問，

which I think doesn't happen enough.

而我相信這種質問需要更多。

I've had to interrogate masculinity;

我要不時就男性化作出質問；

the toxic privileges that come with being a man don't define me,

作為男性而有的毒性特權不代表我，

but I have to be accountable for how it shows up in my life every day.

但我要為它對日常生活的影響負責。

I have allowed my wife to do all of the emotional labor

我任由妻子擔起 打開溝通渠道的情感工作，

of prying open the lines of communication when I'd rather clam up and run away.

而我則寧可默不作聲並一走了之。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I've stripped away emotional support instead of facing my own vulnerabilities,

我不去面對自己的軟弱， 反而收起對妻子的情感支持，

particularly around the heartbreaking miscarriage we suffered last year,

尤其在去年我們經歷 令人心碎的流產的時候，

and I'm sorry for that.

我為此抱歉。

Sometimes as men, we get to take the easy way out.

我們男性有時會用 簡單的方式解決事情。

And so my journey as a trans person is about reimagining masculinity.

我作為跨性別者的意義， 就是要重新思考男性化，

About creating a manhood that isn't measured

就是創造一個不取決於行使的權力、 承載的特權或衍生的控制大局幻象，

by the power it wields, by the entitlements afforded to it,

or any simulacrum of control that it can muster,

but works in tandem with femininity,

而是與女性化相輔相成的男性化，

and is guided by my spirit.

而我的精神就是嚮導。

KKM: Y'all ...

KKM：各位…

(Applause)

（掌聲）

And this has created the space for my femininity to flourish

而這以我從未有經歷的方式 創造了豐富我女性特質的空間。

in a way I had never experienced before.

He never is threatened by my sexuality,

我在性別方面的取態沒有威脅到他，

he never polices what I wear or how I act.

他從未規定我應當如何穿著和言行。

I cook but he does way more of the cleaning than I do.

我燒菜但他比我做更多的清潔工作。

And when we're rushing to get out of the house

當我們急著出門

and we have so much to handle,

而我們有好多事要處理時，

he handles everything,

他都一力承擔，

so I have time to do my hair and makeup.

讓我有時間弄頭髮和化妝。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

He understands that this is my armor,

他明白這些都是我的武裝，

and he never treats femininity as though it is frivolous or superficial,

他從未把女性特質視為輕浮膚淺，

and this, and him --

而他…

he grows my experience of gender every single day.

每一天都豐富了我的性別體驗。

TM: I love to watch her get dressed in the morning.

TM：我喜歡看她早上穿衣。

Watching her in the closet,

看著她在衣櫥裡找舒適、 絢麗繽紛、緊身和安全的服裝…

looking for something comfortable and colorful, and tight,

and safe --

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

But it's challenging to watch her negotiate her decisions

看著她跟自己討論決定甚為刺激：

looking for something that's going to get the least amount of attention,

她要找一些吸引最少注視、

but at the same time be an expression of the vibrant and sexy woman she is.

但同時能彰顯她是活力 性感女性的衣服。

And all I want to do is celebrate her for her beauty,

而我只想讚揚她的美麗 以及讓她美麗、獨特和自由的東西：

and the things that make her beautiful and special and free,

from her long acrylic nails,

從她那長長的水晶指甲

to her uncompromising black feminism.

到她那堅定不移的黑人女性主義。

(Applause)

（掌聲）

KKM: I love you. TM: I love you.

KKM：我愛你。 TM:：我愛你。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

KKM: There are so many queer and trans people

KKM：在我們之前 有無數的酷兒和跨性別人士，

who have come before us,

whose stories we will never get to hear.

他們的故事我們永遠沒法聽到。

We constantly experience this retelling of history

在歷史被重述時， 我們明顯地不斷受冷落。

where we are conspicuously left out.

And it's really hard to not see ourselves there.

在歷史中看不見自己是很難受的。

And so living out loud for us is about that representation.

所以高聲活出自己 就是要在歷史留名。

It's about having possibility models,

那是關乎樹立可能性榜樣

and having hope that love is part of our inheritance in this world, too.

以及希望愛是世界留下一項遺產。

TM: The possibility that we are practicing

TM：我們身體力行的可能性

is about reinventing time, love and institutions.

就是重塑時間、愛情和制度。

We are creating a future of multiplicity.

我們正在建設一個多重的未來。

We are expanding the spectrum of gender and sexuality,

我們正在擴大性別的光譜，

imagining ourselves into existence,

把我們對自己的想像變成事實，

imagining a world where gender is self-determined and not imposed,

想像性別是自決而非被強加的世界，

and where who we are is a kaleidoscope of possibility

當中我們擁有如萬花筒般的可能性，

without the narrow-minded limitations masquerading as science or justice.

沒有那些偽裝成科學 或公義的狹隘限制。

(Applause)

（掌聲）

KKM: And I can't lie:

KKM：我不騙你，

it is really, really hard.

這真的非常困難。

It is hard to stand in the face of bigotry

懷著開放心靈和笑容 去站出來對抗偏執是困難的。

with an open heart and a smile on my face.

It is really hard to face the injustice that exists in the world,

面對世上存在的不公義， 同時相信人有能力改變，是困難的。

while still believing in the ability of people to really change.

That takes an enormous amount of faith and dedication.

這需要無比的信念與奉獻。

And beyond that,

除了這個之外，

marriage is hard work.

維繫婚姻是困難的差事。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Piles of dirty socks on the floor,

地板上推積如山的髒襪子，

more boring sports shows than I ever thought possible --

比我想像得到更沉悶的體育節目…

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And fights that bring me to tears

以及在我們覺得無法溝通時爭吵後 我流下的眼淚。

when it feels like we're not speaking the same language.

But there is not a day that goes by

但我從沒有一天

where I am not so grateful to be married to this man;

不感激我跟這個男人結婚；

where I'm not so grateful for the possibility of changing minds,

不感激我們有可能使思想改變、

and rewarding conversations,

使對話對人有所裨益、

and creating a world where love belongs to us all.

創造一個愛屬於所有人的世界。

I think about our acronym:

我想起了我們的縮略語：

LGBTQ2SIA.

LGBTQ2SIA。

A seemingly endless evolution of self and a community,

看似無止境的自我與群體的演變，

but also this really deep desire not to leave anyone behind.

卻有不想冷落任何人的深切渴望。

We've learned how to love each other,

我們學習到如何彼此相愛，

and we've committed to loving each other throughout changes to gender

性別和精神有變， 我們仍承諾彼此相愛。

and changes in spirit.

And we learned this love in our chat rooms,

我們在聊天室、俱樂部、酒吧 和社區中心學習到這樣的愛。

in our clubs, in our bars and in our community centers.

We've learned how to love each other for the long haul.

我們學習到如何長久地彼此相愛。

TM & KKM: Thank you.

TM & KKM：謝謝大家。

(Applause)

（掌聲）