A queer vision of love and marriage | Tiq Milan and Kim Katrin Milan

Translator: Nika Kotnik Reviewer: Tilen Pigac - EFZG

Tiq Milan: Our first conversation was on Facebook,

Tiq Milan: Prvič sva govorila na Facebook-u,

and it was three days long.

in trajalo je tri dni.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Izmenjala sva si več kot 3.000 sporočil

We shared over 3,000 messages between us,

and it was during those 72 hours that I knew she was going to be my wife.

in v tistih 72 urah sem se zavedel, da bo ona moja žena.

Nisva si vzela nič časa v najinem snubljenju;

We didn't wait any prerequisite amount of time for our courtship;

we told each other the vulnerable truths up front:

takoj sva si razkrila ranljivo resnico:

Sem trans moški,

I am a transgender man,

which means the F on my birth certificate should have stood for "False,"

kar pomeni, da bi Ž na rojstnem listu moral pomeniti "Žal, napaka"

instead of "Female."

namesto "Ženska."

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Walking around as a woman in the world

Ko sem po svetu hodil kot ženska,

felt like walking with pebbles in my shoes.

sem se počutil, kot da hodim s kamni v čevljih.

Vzelo je ritem moji hoji,

It took the rhythm out of my swagger,

it threw me off balance,

metalo me je iz ravnotežja,

it pained me with every step I took forward.

vsak korak, ki sem ga naredil, je bil boleč.

But today I'm a man of my own intention;

A danes sem sam svoj moški,

a man of my own design.

moški, kot si sam želim.

Kim Katrin Milan: I am a cisgender queer woman.

Kim Katrin Milan: Jaz sem cisspolna kvir ženska.

Cisspolna pomeni, da je bil moj spol ob rojstvu

Cisgender means the gender I was assigned at birth

is still and has always been female.

in je še vedno, ženska.

This doesn't make me natural or normal,

Zaradi tega nisem naravna ali normalna,

to je samo eden izmed načinov opisa različnih načinov,

this is just one way of describing the many different ways

na katere obstajamo v tem svetu.

that we exist in this world.

Kvir je kulturološki izraz,

And queer is a cultural term,

a v tem primeru se nanaša na to, da me pri izbiri partnerja ne omejuje spol.

but in this case,

it refers to the way that I'm not restricted by gender

when it comes to choosing partners.

I've identified in a few different ways --

Na več načinov sem se identificirala -

as a bisexual, as a lesbian --

kot biseksualka, kot lezbijka -

but for me,

a zame kvirnost zajema vse plasti tega, kar sem in kako ljubim.

queerness encompasses all of the layers of who I am and how I've loved.

I'm layers, and not fractions.

Sem v plasteh in ne v kosih.

And for me,

In zame je dejstvo, da je bil kvir,

the fact that he was queer

meant that I could trust his courtship from the very beginning.

pomenilo, da sem temu snubljenju lahko zaupala že od začetka.

Kot kvir in trans ljudje,

As queer and trans people,

we're so often excluded from institutions and traditions.

smo pogosto izključeni iz institucij in tradicij.

We create spaces outside of convention,

Prostore zase ustvarjamo izven običajnega,

including the conventions of time.

vključno s časom.

And in those 3,000 messages between us,

In v tistih 3.000 sporočilih med nama,

we collapsed time;

sva zrušila čas,

we queered it;

"pokvirala" sva ga,

we laid it all on the table.

vse sva položila na mizo.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

With no pretense at all.

Brez pretvarjanja.

And this meant that we were able to commit to each other

Kar je pomenilo, da sva se lahko predala drug drugemu

in a profoundly different way.

na korenito drugačen način.

So often what we're told is this idea of the "Golden Rule,"

Pogosto slišimo o tej ideji "Zlatega pravila,"

that we should treat other people the way we want to be treated.

da bi morali z drugimi ravnati, kot želimo, da bi oni z nami.

A problem tega je,

But the problem with that

is that it assumes that we are the standard for other people,

da predvidevamo, da smo mi standard za druge, ampak nismo.

and we're not.

We need to treat other people the way they want to be treated,

Z drugimi moramo ravnati tako, kot si oni želijo,

which means we had to ask.

kar pomeni, da moramo vprašati.

I couldn't assume that the kind of love that Tiq needed

Nisem mogla vedeti, da je ljubezen, ki jo Tiq potrebuje,

was the same kind of love that I needed.

enake vrste, kot sem jo potrebovala jaz.

So I asked him everything -- about his fears, his insecurities --

Zato sem ga vprašala vse - o njegovih strahovih, negotovostih -

in od tam sva začela.

and we started from there.

TM: I didn't know what kind of love I needed.

TM: Nisem vedel, kakšno ljubezen potrebujem.

I had just come out of a year-long fog

Prišel sem iz leta dolgega, meglenega obdobja,

of being rejected and utterly depleted.

v katerem sem bil zavrnjen in popolnoma izčrpan.

I had someone look me in my eyes

Nekdo me je pogledal v oči

and tell me that I was unworthy of their love because I was trans.

in mi rekel, da sem nevreden njihove ljubezni, ker sem trans.

And there's a culture of lovelessness

Obstaja neka kultura brez ljubezni,

that we've created around transgender people.

ki smo jo ustvarili okrog transspolnih ljudi.

It's reasoned, justified and often signed into law.

Opravičujemo jo z razumom in pogosto uzakonimo,

And I was a heartbeat away from internalizing that message,

in bil sem le malce stran od ponotranjenja tega sporočila,

that I wasn't worthy.

da nisem vreden.

But Kim said that I was her ideal --

A Kim je rekla, da sem bil popoln -

ta zmeda z zlomljenim srcem.

the heartbroken mess that I was.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

KKM: He totally was my ideal.

KKM: Res je bil popoln zame.

(Smeh)

(Laughter)

Na več načinov.

In more ways than one.

Both poets, writers, creatives

Oba sva pesnika, pisatelja, ustvarjalca,

with a long history of community work behind us,

z dolgo zgodovino dela za skupnost za nama

and big, huge dreams of a family in front of us,

in velikimi, ogromnimi sanjami o družini pred nama.

we shared a lot of things in common,

Veliko sva imela skupnega,

but we were also incredibly different.

a bila sva prav tako različna.

I've been a lifelong traveler and a bit of an orphan,

Jaz sem bila celo življenje popotnica in malo sirota,

whereas he comes from a huge family,

medtem ko je on iz velike družine

and definitely stays grounded.

in definitivno z nogami trdno na tleh.

I often kind of sum up the differences in our strengths

Pogosto povzamem najine razlike,

by saying, "Keep me safe,

rekoč: "Ti poskrbi, da bom varna, jaz pa, da boš divji."

and I'll keep you wild."

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

TM: We have marginalized identities but we don't live marginalized lives.

TM : Najini identiteti sta obrobni, a midva ne živiva življenj na robu.

Biti kvir in trans pomeni ustvarjati nove valove obstoja.

Being queer and trans is about creating new ways of existing.

It's about loving people as they are,

Pomeni ljubiti ljudi, take kot so,

not as they're supposed to be.

ne kot bi morali biti.

Kim is unapologetically feminine

Kim se ne opravičuje za svojo ženstvenost

in a world that is often cruel and violent

v svetu, ki je pogosto krut in nasilen

to women who are too proud and too freeing.

do žensk, ki so preveč ponosne in osvobojene.

And I didn't enter into this union

In jaz nisem šel v to zvezo

under the auspices that she was going to be my helper or my rib,

zato, da bila ona moja pomočnica ali moje rebro,

but a fully complex --

ampak kompleksna -

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

KKM: Right? That's not right.

KKM: Kajne? To ni prav.

TM: Ampak kompleksen človek,

TM: But a fully complex human being

whose femininity wasn't for me to rein in, control or critique.

katerega ženstvenost ni tu, da jo prevladam, nadzorujem ali kritiziram.

It's her brilliance,

To je njena briljantnost,

the way she leads with compassion,

kako vodi s sočutjem

and how she never loses sight of her empathy.

in kako nikoli ne izgubi svoje empatije.

She has been my hero since day one.

Moj heroj je že od prvega dne.

(Applause)

(Aplavz)

KKM: Our relationship has always been about setting each other free.

KKM: V najinem razmerju sva od nekdaj osvobajala drug drugega.

One of the first questions I asked him

Eno izmed prvih mojih vprašanj je bilo,

was what dreams he had left to accomplish,

katere sanje si še želi uresničiti

and how would I help him get there.

in kako naj mu pomagam pri tem.

His dreams to live as a poet,

Njegove sanje živeti kot pesnik,

to adopt and raise a family together,

posvojiti in skupaj vzgajati družino,

to live a life that he was proud of,

živeti ponosno življenje,

and one that would live up to his mother's incredible legacy.

ki bi dosegalo neverjetno zapuščino njegove matere.

And I really appreciated that we were able to start from that place,

In res sem hvaležna, da sva začela tako

and not from a place that was around figuring out

in ne, ko bi še ugotavljala,

how to make each other work together.

kako sploh biti drug z drugim.

And I think this really allowed us to grow into the people that we were

Menim, da nama je to omogočilo zrasti v človeka, kot sva danes,

in a way that was incredibly different.

na neverjetno drugačen način.

I love him whole;

Celega ga ljubim;

pre-transition, now and in the future.

pred spremembo, sedaj in v prihodnosti.

And it's this love that had us committed to each other

In to je ljubezen, zaradi katere sva si bila predana,

before we'd even seen each other's faces.

preden sva sploh videla obraz drug drugega.

TM: My mother's biggest concern when I transitioned

TM: Največja skrb moje mame po moji tranziciji

was who was going to love me as I am.

je bila, kdo me bo ljubil takega, kot sem.

Had being transgender somehow precluded me from love and monogamy

Mi je dejstvo, da sem transspolen, nekako onemogočalo ljubezen in monogamijo,

because I was supposedly born in the wrong body?

ker naj bi se rodil v napačnem telesu?

But it's this type of structuring that has to be reframed

A take vrste strukturiranje moramo spremeniti,

in order to let love in.

da spustimo noter ljubezen.

My body never betrayed me,

Moje telo me ni nikoli izdalo

and my body was never wrong.

in moje telo ni bilo nikoli napačno.

It's this restrictive, binary thinking on gender

Krivo je to restriktivno, binarno pojmovanje spola

that said that I didn't exist.

ki je reklo, da ne obstajam.

But when we met,

A ko sva se srečala,

she loved me for exactly how I showed up.

me je ljubila takega, kot sem bil.

S prsti je šla čez neobčutljive keloidne brazgotine,

She would trace her fingers along the numb keloid scars

ki jih je pustila operacija.

left by my top surgery.

Scars that run from the middle of my chest all the way out to my outer torso.

Brazgotine, ki potekajo od sredine mojega prsnega koša vse do roba.

She said that these were reminders of my strength

Rekla je, da so to opomniki moje moči

and everything that I went through

in vsega, kar sem prestal

in da se nimam ničesar sramovati.

and nothing for me to be ashamed of.

Tako je bilo dirjanje z njo v zakon najbolj kvir stvar, ki sem jo naredil.

So sprinting towards her hand in marriage

was the queerest thing that I could do.

(Smeh)

(Laughter)

It flew in the face of more conventional trajectories

Šlo je stran od ustaljenih tirnic

of love and relationships,

ljubezni in razmerij,

because God was never supposed to bless a union for folks like us,

ker bog naj ne bi blagoslovil zveze, kot je najina,

and the law was never supposed to recognize it.

in zakon naj je nikoli ne bi prepoznal.

KKM: So on May 5, 2014,

KKM: 5. maja 2014,

samo 3 mesece po tem, ko sva se spoznala na spletu,

just about three months after meeting online,

sva se poročila na stopnicah mestne hiše v Manhattnu

we were married on the steps of City Hall in Manhattan,

and it was beautiful in every conceivable way.

in bilo je lepo na vse možne načine.

It's safe to say that we reimagined some traditions,

Lahko rečemo, da sva si na novo zamislila nekatere tradicije,

a obdržala tudi nekatere stare, jih vključila

but we also kept some old ones that we worked in,

and we created something that worked for us.

in ustvarila nekaj, kar nama je ustrezalo.

Moj šopek in zapestnica sta bila polna divjih rož iz Brooklyna -

My bouquet and corsage was actually filled with wildflowers from Brooklyn --

also added in a little bit of lavender and sage to keep us grounded

z dodatkom sivke in janeža za prizemljitev,

because we were so nervous.

ker sva bila tako nervozna.

And it was put together by a sweet sister healer friend of ours.

Sestavila ga je najina prijateljica zdravilka.

I never wanted a diamond ring,

Nisem si želela diamantnega prstana, ker konflikti in konvencionalnost niso zame,

because conflict and convention are not my thing,

so my ring is the deepest purple,

zato je moj prstan vijolične barve,

like the color of my crown chakra,

kot je barva moje najvišje čakre

and set in place with my birthstones.

in vstavljena v prstan s kamni mojega rojstva.

Darilo kvirnosti so možnosti.

The gift of queerness is options.

I never had to choose his last name,

Ni mi bilo treba izbrati njegovega priimka, nikoli ni bilo izjema,

it was never an exception,

but I did because I am my father's bastard child,

ampak sem ga, ker sem nezakonski otrok mojega očeta,

someone who has always been an apology, a secret, an imposition.

nekdo, ki je bil vedno opravičilo, skrivnost, breme.

And it was incredibly freeing

In bilo je neverjetno osvobajajoče

to choose the name of a man who chose me first.

izbrati ime človeka, ki me je izbral prvi.

(Applause)

(Aplavz)

TM: So we told some family and some close friends,

TM: Tako sva povedala družini in nekaterim bližnjim,

many of whom were still in disbelief as we took our vows.

mnogi izmed njih še vedno presenečeni, ko sva si izmenjala zaobljube.

Seveda sva objavila vse najine poročne fotografije na Facebooku,

Fittingly, we posted all of our wedding photos on Facebook,

kjer sva se spoznala -

where we met --

and Instagram, of course.

in tudi na Instagramu, seveda.

And we quickly realized

In hitro sva ugotovila,

that our coming together was more than just a union of two people,

da je bilo najino združenje več kot samo unija dveh ljudi,

but was a model of possibility for the millions of LGBTQ folks

ampak model možnosti za milijone LGBTQ-jevcev,

who have been sold this lie

ki so jim prodali to laž,

that family and matrimony is antithetical to who they are --

da sta družina in zakon njihovo nasprotje -

for those of us who rarely get to see ourselves

za tiste izmed nas, ki se redko vidimo

reflected in love and happiness.

v ljubezni in sreči.

KKM: And the thing is,

KKM: In veste,

absolutely we are marginalized because of our identities,

seveda sva marginalizirana zaradi najinih identitet,

but it also emboldens us to be the people that we are.

a to naju tudi opogumlja, da sva taka kot sva.

Kvirnost je najina bit,

Queerness is our major key;

blackness is our magic.

temnopoltost pa najina magija.

It's because of these things

In zato

that we are able to be hopeful, open, receptive and shape-shifting.

sva lahko polna upanja, odprta in spreminjajoča se.

These are the things that give us,

To so stvari, ki nama dajejo,

and are such an incredible source of, our strength.

in so tak neverjeten vir moči.

Najina kvirnost je vir te moči.

Our queerness is a source of that strength.

I think of the words of Ottawa-based poet Brandon Wint:

Mislim na besede pesnika iz Ottawe, Brandona Winta:

"Ne kvir kot gej; kvir kot izmikajoč se definiciji.

"Not queer like gay; queer like escaping definition.

Queer like some sort of fluidity and limitlessness all at once.

Kvir kot fluidnost in brezmejnost, vse naenkrat.

Queer like a freedom too strange to be conquered.

Kvir kot svoboda, preveč čudna, da bi bila premagana.

Queer like the fearlessness to imagine what love can look like,

Kvir kot neustrašnost si predstavljati, kaj je lahko ljubezen,

in njeno iskanje."

and to pursue it."

TM: Sva del skupnosti ljudi -

TM: We are part of a community of folks --

Yeah, that's good right?

To je bilo dobro, ne?

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

We are part of a community of folks who are living their authentic selves

Sva del skupnosti ljudi, ki živijo avtentično,

all along the gender spectrum,

po vsem spektru spola,

despite the ubiquitous threat of violence,

kljub grožnjam z nasiljem,

despite the undercurrent of anxiety that always is present

kljub spodaj ležeči anksioznosti, ki je vedno prisotna

for people who live on their own terms.

pri ljudeh, ki živijo po svoje.

Globally, a transgender person is murdered every 21 hours.

Po svetu je vsakih 21 ur ubita ena transspolna oseba.

In v Združenih državah so letos zabeležili več umorov trans oseb

And the United States has had more trans murders on record this year

than any year to date.

kot katerokoli leto do zdaj.

However, our stories are much more than this rigid dichotomy

A naše zgodbe so toliko več kot ta rigidna dihotomija

of strength and resilience.

moči in vzdržljivosti.

We are expanding the human complexity on these margins,

Človeško kompleksnost razširjamo na teh obrobjih

and we are creating freedom on these margins.

in ustvarjamo svobodo na teh obrobjih.

KKM: And we don't have any blueprints.

KKM: In nimamo nobenih predhodnih navodil.

We're creating a world that we have literally never seen before;

Ustvarjamo svet, ki ga dobesedno nismo še nikoli videli;

organizing families based on love and not by blood,

ustvarjamo družine osnovane na ljubezni in ne sorodstvenih vezeh,

vodimo s sočutjem, ki smo ga prejeli le redki izmed nas.

guiding by a compassion that so few of us have been shown ourselves.

So many of us have not received love from our families --

Mnogi izmed nas nismo prejeli ljubezni naših družin -

have been betrayed by the people that we trust most.

izdali so nas ljudje, ki smo jih najbolj zaupali.

So what we do here is we create entirely new languages of love.

Tako tu ustvarjava popolnoma nove jezike ljubezni.

Ones that are about creating the space for us to be our authentic selves

Taki, ki ustvarjajo prostore za nas, kjer smo lahko to, kar smo,

and not imposing this standard

in ne vsiljujemo standarda,

of what masculinity or femininity is supposed to be.

kaj naj bi bila moškost in ženstvenost.

TM: We are interested in love and inclusion

TM: Zanima naju ideja ljubezni in vključenosti

kot orodij za revolucionarno spremembo, kajne?

as a tool of revolutionary change, right?

In preprosta ideja je,

And the idea is simply,

if we drop all our preconceived notions

da če izgubimo predhodne predstave

about how somebody is supposed to be --

o tem, kakšen naj bi nekdo bil -

v svojem telesu, v svojem spolu, svoji koži -

in their body, in their gender, in their skin --

if we take the intentional steps to unlearn these deep-seated biases

in če se namenoma poskušamo odvaditi teh globoko zakoreninjenih predsodkov

and create space for people to be self-determined,

in ustvarimo prostor za ljudi, ki se določajo sami

and embrace who they are,

in sprejemajo to, kar so,

then we will definitely create a better world than the one we were born into.

potem bomo zagotovo ustvarili boljši svet, kot je ta, v katerem smo bili rojeni.

(Applause)

(Aplavz)

KKM: We want to mark this time in history

KKM: Hočeva označiti to poglavje zgodovine,

by leaving evidence of the fact that we were here.

tako, da pustiva dokaze, da sva bila tu.

Odpreva mala okna v najino razmerje,

We open up little windows into our relationship

da naju opazuje najina skupnost,

for our community to bear witness,

and we do this because we want to make maps to the future

in to počneva, ker želiva narediti zemljevide za prihodnost

and not monuments to ourselves.

in ne spomenike za naju.

Our experience does not invalidate other peoples' experience,

Najine izkušnje ne negirajo izkušenj drugih ljudi,

but it should and necessarily does complicate this idea

ampak morajo in tudi zares zakomplicirajo idejo

of what love and marriage are supposed to be.

o tem, kakšna naj bi bila ljubezen in zakon.

TM: OK, now for all the talking,

TM: Ok, kljub vsemu govorjenju,

and inspiring,

navdihu

in oblikovanju možnosti,

and possibility-modeling we've done,

we've been nowhere near perfect.

nisva niti malo popolna.

And we've had to hold a mirror up to ourselves.

In morala sva se pogledati v ogledalo.

And I saw that I wasn't always the best listener,

Videl sem, da nisem vedno najboljši poslušalec

in da je moj ego v napoto najinemu napredku kot par.

and that my ego got in the way of our progress as a couple.

And I've had to really assess these deep-seated, sexist ideas

Res sem moral pregledati vse te globoko zakoreninjene, seksistične ideje

that I've had about the value of a woman's experience in the world.

o tem, kakšna je vrednost ženske izkušnje v svetu.

Moral sem na novo premisliti, kaj pomeni biti v zavezništvu z mojo ženo.

I've had to reevaluate what it means to be in allyship with my wife.

KKM: And I had to remind myself of a lot of things, too.

KKM: Tudi sama sem se morala opomniti pri nekaterih stvareh.

What it means to be hard on the issues,

Kaj pomeni biti nepopustljiv pri problemih,

but soft on the person.

a usmiljen z osebo.

While we were writing this, we got into a massive fight.

Ko sva tole pisala, sva se pošteno sprla.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

For so many different reasons,

Iz toliko različnih razlogov,

but based on the content about our values and our lived experiences --

a osnovano na najinih vrednotah in najinih izkušnjah

in bila sva res prizadeta, veste?

and we were really hurt, you know?

Because what we do and how we love puts ourselves entirely on the line.

Ker sva pri tem, kar počneva in kako ljubiva, zelo izpostavljena.

But even though the fight lasted over the course of two days --

Pa čeprav je najin prepir trajal dva dni -

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

We were able to come back together to each other,

Sva uspela priti nazaj k drug drugemu

in se na novo predati sebi, drug drugemu in najinemu zakonu.

and recommit to ourselves, to each other and to our marriage.

And that really yielded some of the most passionate parts

In to je ustvarilo nekatere najbolj strastne dele

tega, kar danes deliva z vami.

of what we share with you here today.

TM: I have had to interrogate masculinity,

TM: Moral sem izprašati moškost,

which I think doesn't happen enough.

kar menim, da se ne zgodi dovoljkrat.

I've had to interrogate masculinity;

Moral sem izprašati moškost;

toksični privilegiji, ki pridejo z dejstvom, da sem moški, me ne določajo,

the toxic privileges that come with being a man don't define me,

but I have to be accountable for how it shows up in my life every day.

a odgovoren sem za to, kako se pojavlja v mojem življenju vsak dan.

I have allowed my wife to do all of the emotional labor

Dovolil sem, da moja žena opravi ves čustveni napor,

of prying open the lines of communication when I'd rather clam up and run away.

ko poskuša začeti pogovor o nečem, ko bi se sam najraje zaprl in zbežal.

(Smeh)

(Laughter)

I've stripped away emotional support instead of facing my own vulnerabilities,

Odstranil sem emocionalno podporo, namesto da bi se soočil z lastno ranljivostjo,

particularly around the heartbreaking miscarriage we suffered last year,

še posebej ob tragičnem spontanem splavu, ki sva ga utrpela lani,

in žal mi je.

and I'm sorry for that.

Sometimes as men, we get to take the easy way out.

Včasih lahko kot moški izberemo lažjo pot.

And so my journey as a trans person is about reimagining masculinity.

Tako je moje potovanje kot trans moški, da si na novo zamislim možatost.

About creating a manhood that isn't measured

O ustvarjanju možatosti, ki se ne meri

by the power it wields, by the entitlements afforded to it,

z močjo, s katero upravlja, s tem, do česa je upravičena,

or any simulacrum of control that it can muster,

ali vsako predstavo moči, ki jo lahko zbere,

but works in tandem with femininity,

ampak dela skupaj z ženstvenostjo

and is guided by my spirit.

in jo vodi moj duh.

KKM: Y'all ...

KKM: Joj ...

(Aplavz)

(Applause)

In to ustvari prostor, da moja ženstvenost vzcveti,

And this has created the space for my femininity to flourish

in a way I had never experienced before.

kot še nikoli prej.

Moja seksualnost ga nikoli ne ogroža,

He never is threatened by my sexuality,

he never polices what I wear or how I act.

nikoli ne ukazuje, kaj naj oblečem, ali kako naj se vedem.

I cook but he does way more of the cleaning than I do.

Kuham jaz ampak on veliko več čisti.

And when we're rushing to get out of the house

In kadar se nama mudi iz hiše

in imava toliko za opraviti,

and we have so much to handle,

he handles everything,

on opravi vse,

so I have time to do my hair and makeup.

zato da imam čas za ličenje in urejanje frizure.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

He understands that this is my armor,

Razume, da je to moj oklep

and he never treats femininity as though it is frivolous or superficial,

in nikoli ne tretira moje ženstvenosti kot nekaj banalnega in površinskega,

and this, and him --

in to, in on -

z njim vsak dan raste moja izkušnja spola.

he grows my experience of gender every single day.

TM: I love to watch her get dressed in the morning.

TM: Rad jo gledam, kako se zjutraj oblači.

Watching her in the closet,

Ko jo opazujem pred omaro,

looking for something comfortable and colorful, and tight,

kako išče nekaj udobnega in barvitega in ozkega,

in varnega -

and safe --

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

A izziv jo je opazovati, kako tehta svoje odločitve

But it's challenging to watch her negotiate her decisions

looking for something that's going to get the least amount of attention,

in išče nekaj, kar bi zbudilo najmanj pozornosti,

a je obenem izraz živahne in seksi ženske, kakršna je.

but at the same time be an expression of the vibrant and sexy woman she is.

Vse, kar si želim, je, jo občudovati v njeni lepoti

And all I want to do is celebrate her for her beauty,

and the things that make her beautiful and special and free,

in vseh stvareh, ki jo delajo lepo in posebno in svobodno,

from her long acrylic nails,

od njenih dolgih umetnih nohtov,

to her uncompromising black feminism.

do brezkompromisnega temnopoltega feminizma.

(Applause)

(Aplavz)

KKM: I love you. TM: I love you.

KKM: Ljubim te. TM: Ljubim te.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

KKM: There are so many queer and trans people

KKM: Toliko je kvir in trans ljudi,

ki so bili tu pred nama,

who have come before us,

whose stories we will never get to hear.

katerih zgodbe ne bomo nikoli slišali.

We constantly experience this retelling of history

Neprestano izkušamo ponovno pisanje zgodovine,

where we are conspicuously left out.

kjer smo opazno izpuščeni.

And it's really hard to not see ourselves there.

Težko je, ker se ne vidimo v tem.

And so living out loud for us is about that representation.

Zato živiva na ves glas ravno zaradi reprezentacije.

It's about having possibility models,

Gre za to, da imaš modele možnosti

in upanje, da je tudi ljubezen del naše dediščine v tem svetu.

and having hope that love is part of our inheritance in this world, too.

TM: The possibility that we are practicing

TM: Ta možnost, ki jo izvajava,

is about reinventing time, love and institutions.

je ponovno izumljanje časa, ljubezni in institucij.

Ustvarjava prihodnost raznolikosti.

We are creating a future of multiplicity.

We are expanding the spectrum of gender and sexuality,

Razširjamo spekter spola in seksualnosti,

imagining ourselves into existence,

sebe si zamislimo v realnost,

predstavljamo si svet, kjer si spol določiš sam in ni vsiljen,

imagining a world where gender is self-determined and not imposed,

and where who we are is a kaleidoscope of possibility

in kjer je to, kar smo, kalejdoskop možnosti

without the narrow-minded limitations masquerading as science or justice.

brez ozkogledih omejitev zamaskiranih v znanost ali pravico.

(Applause)

(Aplavz)

KKM: And I can't lie:

KKM: In ne bom lagala,

it is really, really hard.

res je težko.

It is hard to stand in the face of bigotry

Težko je stati nasproti fanatičnosti

with an open heart and a smile on my face.

z odprtim srcem in nasmehom na obrazu.

It is really hard to face the injustice that exists in the world,

Resnično težko se je spopasti z nepravičnostjo, ki obstaja v svetu,

in še vedno verjeti v zmožnost ljudi, da se spremenijo.

while still believing in the ability of people to really change.

That takes an enormous amount of faith and dedication.

Za to je potrebna neverjetna količina vere in predanosti.

Ob tem pa tudi,

And beyond that,

marriage is hard work.

zakon je trdo delo.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Piles of dirty socks on the floor,

Kupi umazanih nogavic na tleh,

more boring sports shows than I ever thought possible --

več dolgočasnih športnih oddaj, kot sem si kadarkoli predstavljala -

(Smeh)

(Laughter)

And fights that bring me to tears

In prepiri, ki me pripeljejo do solz,

when it feels like we're not speaking the same language.

ko se zdi, da sploh ne govoriva istega jezika.

But there is not a day that goes by

A ne mine dan,

where I am not so grateful to be married to this man;

da ne bi bila hvaležna za moj zakon s tem moškim;

where I'm not so grateful for the possibility of changing minds,

kjer ne bi bila hvaležna za možnost spreminjanja misli

and rewarding conversations,

in nagrajujočih pogovorov

and creating a world where love belongs to us all.

in ustvarjanje sveta, kjer ljubezen pripada vsem.

I think about our acronym:

Pomislim na naš akronim:

LGBTQ2SIA.

LGBTQ2SIA.

Na videz neskončna evolucija nas samih in skupnosti,

A seemingly endless evolution of self and a community,

but also this really deep desire not to leave anyone behind.

a hkrati tudi globoka skrb, da ne bi koga pustili za seboj.

We've learned how to love each other,

Naučila sva se ljubiti drug drugega

and we've committed to loving each other throughout changes to gender

in predana sva ljubezni drug do drugega skozi spremembe v spolu

and changes in spirit.

in spremembe v duhu.

And we learned this love in our chat rooms,

Te ljubezni sva se naučila v naših klepetalnicah,

in our clubs, in our bars and in our community centers.

v naših klubih, v naših barih in naših centrih skupnosti.

We've learned how to love each other for the long haul.

Naučila sva se ljubiti drug drugega dolgoročno.

TM & KKM: Thank you.

TM & KKM: Hvala.

(Aplavz)

(Applause)