Ash Beckham: When to take a stand -- and when to let it go

119,022 views ・ 2015-07-10

TED


Dvaput kliknite na engleske titlove ispod za reprodukciju videozapisa.

Prevoditelj: Igor Pureta Recezent: Ivan Stamenković
00:12
This summer I was back in Ohio for a family wedding,
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Ove godine sam navratila u Ohio zbog vjenčanja u obitelji
00:19
and when I was there,
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i dok sam bila tamo,
00:21
there was a meet and greet with Anna and Elsa from "Frozen."
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upoznala sam Annu i Elsu iz "Snježnog kraljevstva".
00:25
Not the Anna and Elsa from "Frozen,"
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Ne baš Annu i Elsu iz "Snježnog kraljevstva"
00:29
as this was not a Disney-sanctioned event.
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jer ovaj događaj nije financirao Disney.
00:31
These two entrepreneurs had a business of running princess parties.
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Dvije poduzetnice su imale posao održavanja tuluma za princeze.
00:36
Your kid is turning five?
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Vaša klinka navršava 5?
00:38
They'll come sing some songs, sprinkle some fairy dust, it's great.
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Otpjevat će par pjesama, posuti malo vilinskog praha, odlično je.
00:41
And they were not about to miss out on the opportunity
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I nisu mogle propustiti priliku
00:45
that was the phenomenon and that was "Frozen."
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i fenomen poput "Snježnog kraljevstva".
00:47
So they get hired by a local toy store,
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Unajmila ih je lokalna trgovina s igračkama,
00:49
kids come in on a Saturday morning,
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klinci dolaze u subotu ujutro,
00:51
buy some Disney swag, get their picture taken with the princesses,
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pokupuju Disney stvari, slikaju se s princezama,
00:54
call it a day.
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i to je to.
00:56
It's like Santa Claus without the seasonal restrictions.
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Kao Djed Mraz, bez sezonskih ograničenja.
00:58
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
01:00
And my three-and-a-half-year-old niece Samantha was in the thick of it.
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Moja tro i pol godišnja nećakinja je bila luda za time.
01:05
She could care less that these two women were signing posters and coloring books
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Nije ju bilo briga što te dvije žene potpisuju postere i bojanke
01:10
as Snow Queen and Princess Ana with one N to avoid copyright lawsuits.
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kao Snježna kraljica i princeza Ana s jednim N da izbjegnu tužbu.
01:15
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
01:17
According to my niece and the 200-plus kids in the parking lot that day,
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Za moju nećakinju i više od 200 klinaca na parkingu tog dana,
01:21
this was the Anna and Elsa from "Frozen."
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to su bile Anna i Elsa iz "Snježnog kraljevstva".
01:27
It is a blazing hot Saturday morning in August in Ohio.
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Opako je vruće subotnje kolovoško jutro u Ohiju.
01:33
We get there at 10 o'clock, the scheduled start time,
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Došli smo tamo u 10, prema rasporedu početka,
01:36
and we are handed number 59.
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i dobili smo broj 59.
01:39
By 11 o'clock they had called numbers 21 through 25;
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Do 11 sati, prozvali su brojeve od 21 do 25;
01:43
this was going to be a while,
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ovo će potrajati,
01:45
and there is no amount of free face painting or temporary tattoos
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a ne postoji količina besplatnih boja za lice ili privremenih tetovaža
01:49
that could prevent the meltdowns that were occurring outside of the store.
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koja bi spriječila topljenje koje se događalo ispred trgovine.
01:53
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
01:54
So, by 12:30 we get called:
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Do 12:30 smo i mi pozvani u red:
01:59
"56 to 63, please."
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"56 do 63, molim."
02:02
And as we walk in, it is a scene I can only describe you
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I kako smo ušli, vidjeli smo scenu koju vam jedino mogu opisati
02:05
as saying it looked like Norway threw up.
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tako da vam kažem da je izgledalo kao da je Norveška povratila.
02:08
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
02:09
There were cardboard cut-out snowflakes covering the floor,
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Kartonske pahuljice su pokrivale pod,
02:14
glitter on every flat surface, and icicles all over the walls.
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šljokice na svakoj ravnoj površini i sige po zidovima.
02:19
And as we stood in line
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I kako smo stajali u redu,
02:21
in an attempt to give my niece a better vantage point
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u pokušaju da mojoj nećakinji dam bolji pogled
02:23
than the backside of the mother of number 58,
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od stražnjice majke broj 58,
02:26
I put her up on my shoulders,
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stavila sam ju na svoja ramena,
02:27
and she was instantly riveted by the sight of the princesses.
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i bila je instantno oduševljena pogledom na princeze.
02:31
And as we moved forward, her excitement only grew,
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Kako smo se pomicali prema naprijed, njeno uzbuđenje je samo raslo,
02:34
and as we finally got to the front of the line,
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i kada smo napokon došli do početka reda,
02:36
and number 58 unfurled her poster to be signed by the princesses,
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a broj 58 je raširila svoj plakat princezama na potpis,
02:40
I could literally feel the excitement running through her body.
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mogla sam doslovno osjetiti uzbuđenje u njenom tijelu.
I budimo iskreni, u tom trenutku, i ja sam bila već poprilično uzbuđena.
02:44
And let's be honest, at that point, I was pretty excited too.
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02:47
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
02:48
I mean, the Scandinavian decadence was mesmerizing.
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Skandinavska dekadencija je bila očaravajuća.
02:51
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
02:52
So we get to the front of the line,
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Dakle dođemo na početak reda
02:54
and the haggard clerk turns to my niece and says,
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i izmorena se prodavačica okrene prema mojoj nećakinji i kaže:
02:57
"Hi, honey. You're next!
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"Hej, dušo. Ti si sljedeća!
02:59
Do you want to get down, or you're going to stay
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Želiš li sići ili ćeš ostati
03:01
on your dad's shoulders for the picture?'
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na tatinim ramenima za sliku?"
03:03
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
03:05
And I was, for a lack of a better word, frozen.
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Bila sam, u nedostatku bolje riječi, zaleđena.
03:09
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
03:10
It's amazing that in an unexpected instant we are faced with the question,
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Zadivljujuće je to što smo u neočekivanoj sekundi došli do pitanja
03:15
who am I?
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tko sam ja?
03:16
Am I an aunt? Or am I an advocate?
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Jesam li teta? Ili sam odvjetnik?
03:20
Millions of people have seen my video about how to have a hard conversation,
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Milijuni su ljudi vidjeli moj video o teškim razgovorima,
03:24
and there one was, right in front of me.
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a ispred mene je stajao upravo jedan takav.
03:26
At the same time,
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U isto vrijeme,
03:27
there's nothing more important to me than the kids in my life,
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ništa mi nije važnije nego djeca u mom životu,
03:30
so I found myself in a situation that we so often find ourselves in,
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stoga sam se našla u situaciji u kojoj se tako često nalazimo,
03:34
torn between two things, two impossible choices.
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rastrgani između dvije stvari, dva nemoguća izbora.
03:37
Would I be an advocate?
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Hoću li biti odvjetnik?
03:39
Would I take my niece off my shoulders and turn to the clerk and explain to her
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Hoću li skinuti nećakinju s ramena i okrenuti se prodavačici da joj objasnim
03:44
that I was in fact her aunt, not her father,
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da sam joj, ustvari, teta, a ne otac,
03:47
and that she should be more careful
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i da bi morala biti pažljivija
03:49
and not to jump to gender conclusions based on haircuts and shoulder rides --
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a ne skakati na zaključke o rodu na temelju frizure i ramena --
03:54
(Laughter) --
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(Smijeh) --
03:55
and while doing that,
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i dok to radim,
03:57
miss out on what was, to this point, the greatest moment of my niece's life.
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propustim ono što je, do ovog trenutka, najveći trenutak života moje nećakinje.
04:03
Or would I be an aunt?
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Ili ću biti teta?
04:05
Would I brush off that comment, take a million pictures,
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Hoću li zaboraviti na taj komentar, slikati milijun fotografija,
04:08
and not be distracted for an instant from the pure joy of that moment,
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i da mi ništa ni na sekundu ne odvuče pažnju s čiste radosti tog trenutka,
04:13
and by doing that,
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i čineći to,
04:14
walk out with the shame that comes up for not standing up for myself,
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izaći sa sramotom koja dolazi kada se ne postavite za sebe,
04:18
especially in front of my niece.
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pogotovo ispred moje nećakinje.
04:20
Who was I?
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Tko sam ja?
04:22
Which one was more important? Which role was more worth it?
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Što je bilo važnije? Koja je uloga bila važnija?
04:27
Was I an aunt? Or was I an advocate?
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Jesam li bila teta ili odvjetnik?
04:30
And I had a split second to decide.
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Imala sam dijelić sekunde da odlučim.
04:34
We are taught right now
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Učeni smo trenutačno
04:35
that we are living in a world of constant and increasing polarity.
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da živimo u svijetu konstantne i povećavajuće polarnosti.
04:40
It's so black and white, so us and them, so right and wrong.
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Toliko je crno i bijelo, toliko mi i oni, toliko ispravno i pogrešno.
04:45
There is no middle, there is no gray, just polarity.
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Ne postoji sredina, ne postoji siva zona, samo polarnost.
04:49
Polarity is a state in which two ideas or opinions
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Polarnost je stanje u kojemu su dvije ideje ili mišljenja
04:52
are completely opposite from each other;
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u potpunoj međusobnoj suprotnosti;
04:54
a diametrical opposition.
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dijametralno suprotni.
04:58
Which side are you on?
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Na čijoj si strani?
05:00
Are you unequivocally and without question antiwar, pro-choice, anti-death penalty,
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Jeste li bespogovorno protiv rata, za izbor, protiv smrtne kazne,
05:04
pro-gun regulation, proponent of open borders and pro-union?
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za regulaciju oružja, za otvorene granice i za uniju?
05:08
Or, are you absolutely and uncompromisingly
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Ili ste potpuno i beskompromisno
05:13
pro-war, pro-life, pro-death penalty,
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za rat, za život, za smrtnu kaznu,
05:15
a believer that the Second Amendment is absolute,
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vjerujete da je drugi amandman apsolutan,
05:17
anti-immigrant and pro-business?
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protiv imigranata i za posao?
05:19
It's all or none, you're with us or against us.
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Ovo je sve ili ništa, ili si s nama ili si protiv nas.
05:21
That is polarity.
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To je polarnost.
05:24
The problem with polarity and absolutes is that
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Problem s polarnošću je taj
05:29
it eliminates the individuality of our human experience
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što eliminira individualnost našeg ljudskog iskustva
05:34
and that makes it contradictory to our human nature.
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i to ga čini kontradiktornim ljudskoj prirodi.
No ako smo povučeni u ova dva smjera,
05:39
But if we are pulled in these two directions,
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05:41
but it's not really where we exist --
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to nije ono gdje zapravo postojimo --
05:43
polarity is not our actual reality --
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polarnost nije naša stvarnost --
05:45
where do we go from there?
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gdje polazimo otamo?
05:46
What's at the other end of that spectrum?
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Što je na drugom kraju tog spektra?
05:50
I don't think it's an unattainable, harmonious utopia,
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Ne mislim da je to nedostižna harmonijska utopija,
05:54
I think the opposite of polarity is duality.
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mislim da je suprotno polarnosti dualnost.
05:57
Duality is a state of having two parts,
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Dualnost je stanje u kojemu imate dva dijela,
06:00
but not in diametrical opposition,
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no ne dijametralno suprotna,
06:03
in simultaneous existence.
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već u istodobnoj koegzistenciji.
06:06
Don't think it's possible?
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Mislite da nije moguće?
06:08
Here are the people I know:
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Ovo su ljudi koje znam:
06:10
I know Catholics who are pro-choice, and feminists who wear hijabs,
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Znam katolike koji su za izbor, feministkinje koje nose hidžab,
06:13
and veterans who are antiwar,
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veterane koji su protiv rata,
06:15
and NRA members who think I should be able to get married.
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ljubitelje oružja koji misle da bih se trebala moći oženiti.
06:17
Those are the people I know, those are my friends and family,
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Te ljude znam, to su mi prijatelji i obitelj,
06:21
that is the majority of our society, that is you, that is me.
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to je većina našeg društva, to ste vi, to sam ja.
06:24
(Applause)
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(Pljesak)
06:32
Duality is the ability to hold both things.
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Dualnost je sposobnost držanja dvije stvari.
06:37
But the question is: Can we own our duality?
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No, pitanje je, možemo li posjedovati svoju dualnost?
06:42
Can we have the courage to hold both things?
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Možemo li imati hrabrosti držati obje stvari?
06:46
I work at a restaurant in town,
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Radim u restoranu u gradu
06:48
I became really good friends with the busser.
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i postala sam dobar prijatelj s kolegicom.
06:51
I was a server and we had a great relationship,
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Bila sam poslužitelj i imale smo odličnu vezu,
06:54
we had a really great time together.
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bilo nam je odlično zajedno.
06:55
Her Spanish was great
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Njen španjolski je bio odličan
06:59
because she was from Mexico.
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jer je bila iz Meksika.
07:01
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
07:03
That line actually went the other way.
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Ta rečenica je trebala ići suprotno.
07:05
Her English was limited, but significantly better than my Spanish.
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Njen engleski je bio ograničen, no značajno bolji od mog španjolskog.
07:11
But we were united by our similarities,
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No ujedinile smo se svojim sličnostima,
07:15
not separated by our differences.
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a ne odvojile zbog razlika.
07:18
And we were close, even though we came from very different worlds.
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Bile smo bliske iako smo bile iz drugačijih svjetova.
07:21
She was from Mexico,
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Ona je bila iz Meksika,
07:22
she left her family behind so she could come here
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ostavila je obitelj kako bi ona mogla doći ovdje
07:26
and afford them a better life back home.
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i priuštiti im tamo bolji život.
07:28
She was a devout conservative Catholic,
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Bila je pobožna konzervativna katolkinja,
07:31
a believer in traditional family values,
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vjerovala je u tradicionalne obiteljske vrijednosti,
07:33
stereotypical roles of men and women,
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stereotipne uloge muškarca i žene,
07:35
and I was, well, me.
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a ja sam bila, pa, ja.
07:38
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
07:40
But the things that bonded us were when she asked about my girlfriend,
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No ono što nas je zbližilo je bilo kada je pitala za moju djevojku
07:44
or she shared pictures that she had from her family back home.
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ili dijelila slike svoje obitelji.
07:47
Those were the things that brought us together.
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To su bile stvari koje su nas zbližile.
07:50
So one day, we were in the back,
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Jednog dana, bile smo otraga,
07:52
scarfing down food as quickly as we could, gathered around a small table,
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ribajući hranu koliko smo brzo mogle, okupljene oko malog stola,
07:55
during a very rare lull,
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tjekom vrlo rijetkog zatišja,
07:57
and a new guy from the kitchen came over --
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i novi dećko u kuhinji je prišao --
07:59
who happened to be her cousin --
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bio je njen rođak --
08:00
and sat down with all the bravado and machismo
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i sjeo s nama sa svim bravadom i mačizmom
08:03
that his 20-year-old body could hold.
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koje je njegovo 20-godišnje tijelo moglo držati.
08:05
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
08:07
And he said to her, [in Spanish] "Does Ash have a boyfriend?"
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Rekao joj je: [španjolski] "Ima li Ash dečka?"
08:13
And she said, [in Spanish] "No, she has a girlfriend."
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Uzvratila mu je: [španjolski] "Ne, ima djevojku."
08:19
And he said, [in Spanish] "A girlfriend?!?"
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A on je rekao: [španjolski] "Djevojku?!?"
08:22
And she set down her fork, and locked eyes with him,
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Odložila je svoju vilicu, prodorno ga pogledala
08:26
and said, [in Spanish] "Yes, a girlfriend. That is all."
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i rekla: [španjolski] "Da, djevojku. To bi bilo sve."
08:31
And his smug smile quickly dropped to one of maternal respect,
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Njegov štemerski osmijeh je zamijenjen onim poštovanjem prema majci,
08:35
grabbed his plate, walked off, went back to work.
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uzeo je svoj tanjur, odšetao i vratio se na posao.
08:39
She never made eye contact with me.
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Nije me niti pogledala.
08:41
She left, did the same thing --
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Otišla je, napravila istu stvar --
08:43
it was a 10-second conversation, such a short interaction.
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bio je to razgovor od 10 sekundi, vrlo kratka interakcija.
08:46
And on paper, she had so much more in common with him:
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Na papiru je imala mnogo više toga zajedničkog s njim:
08:49
language, culture, history, family, her community was her lifeline here,
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jezik, kulturu, povijest, obitelj, njena zajednica je bila njen život ovdje,
08:54
but her moral compass trumped all of that.
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no njen moralni kompas je odbacio sve to.
08:58
And a little bit later, they were joking around in the kitchen in Spanish,
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Malo kasnije su se zezali u kuhinji na španjolskom,
09:02
that had nothing to do with me,
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o nečemu što nije imalo veze sa mnom,
09:04
and that is duality.
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i to je dualnost.
09:06
She didn't have to choose some P.C. stance on gayness over her heritage.
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Nije morala izabrati neko stajalište o homoseksualnosti umjesto svog naslijeđa.
09:10
She didn't have to choose her family over our friendship.
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Nije morala izabrati svoju obitelj umjesto našeg prijateljstva.
09:14
It wasn't Jesus or Ash.
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Nije bilo ili Isus ili Ash.
09:16
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
09:20
(Applause)
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(Pljesak)
09:27
Her individual morality was so strongly rooted
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Njena individualna moralnost je bila toliko duboko ukorijenjena
09:31
that she had the courage to hold both things.
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da je imala hrabrosti držati obje stvari.
09:35
Our moral integrity is our responsibility
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Naš moralni integritet je naša odgovornost
09:38
and we must be prepared to defend it even when it's not convenient.
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i moramo ga biti spremni braniti čak i kada nije prikladno.
09:42
That's what it means to be an ally, and if you're going to be an ally,
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To znači biti saveznik, i ako ćete biti saveznik,
09:45
you have to be an active ally:
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morate biti aktivan saveznik:
09:48
Ask questions, act when you hear something inappropriate,
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Ispitujte, reagirajte kada čujete nešto neprimjereno,
09:52
actually engage.
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zapravo pristupite.
09:54
I had a family friend who for years used to call my girlfriend my lover.
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Imala sam godinama obiteljsku prijateljicu koja je moju curu zvala mojom ljubavnicom.
10:00
Really? Lover?
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Ozbiljno? Ljubavnica?
10:02
So overly sexual,
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Toliko previše seksualno,
10:05
so '70s gay porn.
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toliko gay pornići iz '70-ih.
10:07
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
10:11
But she was trying, and she asked.
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No trudila se, pa je pitala.
10:13
She could have called her my friend,
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Mogla ju je zvati mojom prijateljicom,
10:15
or my "friend," or my "special friend" --
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ili mojom "prijateljicom" ili mojom "posebnom prijateljicom" --
10:19
(Laughter) --
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(Smijeh) --
10:21
or even worse, just not asked at all.
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ili još gore, mogla je ne pitati uopće.
10:24
Believe me, we would rather have you ask.
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Vjerujte mi, draže nam je da pitate.
10:27
I would rather have her say lover, than say nothing at all.
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Radije bih da ju zove ljubavnicom, nego da ne kaže ništa.
10:32
People often say to me, "Well, Ash, I don't care.
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Ljudi mi često govore, "Pa, Ash, mene nije briga.
10:35
I don't see race or religion or sexuality.
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Ne vidim rase, religije ili seksualnost.
10:39
It doesn't matter to me. I don't see it."
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Nije mi važno, ne vidim to."
10:43
But I think the opposite of homophobia and racism and xenophobia is not love,
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No, mislim da suprotnost homofobiji, rasizmu i ksenofobiji nije ljubav,
10:49
it's apathy.
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nego apatija.
10:50
If you don't see my gayness, then you don't see me.
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Ako ne vidite moju homoseksualnost, onda ne vidite mene.
10:54
If it doesn't matter to you who I sleep with,
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Ako vam nije važno s kime spavam,
10:57
then you cannot imagine what it feels like
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onda ne možete zamisliti koji je osjećaj
11:00
when I walk down the street late at night holding her hand,
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kada hodam ulicom kasno noću držeći njenu ruku,
11:03
and approach a group of people and have to make the decision
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pristupiti grupi ljudi i morati odlučiti
11:05
if I should hang on to it or if I should I drop it
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da li da ju zadržim ili ispustim
11:08
when all I want to do is squeeze it tighter.
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kada sve što želim je stisnuti je čvršće.
11:10
And the small victory I feel
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I malu pobjedu koju osjećam
11:13
when I make it by and don't have to let go.
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kada prođem i ne moram joj pustiti ruku.
11:15
And the incredible cowardice and disappointment I feel when I drop it.
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I neopisiv kukavičluk i razočarenje koje osjećam kada ju pustim.
11:20
If you do not see that struggle
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Ako ne vidite tu borbu
11:22
that is unique to my human experience because I am gay, then you don't see me.
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koja je jednistvena mojem ljudskom iskustvu jer sam gay, tada ne vidite mene.
11:29
If you are going to be an ally, I need you to see me.
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Ako ćete biti saveznik, trebate me vidjeti.
11:34
As individuals, as allies, as humans,
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Kao individualci, kao saveznici, kao ljudi,
11:37
we need to be able to hold both things:
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moramo moći držati obje stvari:
11:40
both the good and the bad,
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i dobro i zlo,
11:43
the easy and the hard.
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i lako i teško.
11:44
You don't learn how to hold two things just from the fluff,
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Nije lako naučiti kako držati dvije drugačije stvari,
11:49
you learn it from the grit.
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naprotiv, teško je.
11:51
And what if duality is just the first step?
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I što ako je dualnost samo prvi korak?
11:56
What if through compassion and empathy and human interaction
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Što ako smo kroz empatiju, suosjećanje i ljudsku interakciju
12:01
we are able to learn to hold two things?
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u mogućnosti naučiti držati dvije stvari?
12:03
And if we can hold two things, we can hold four,
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Ako možemo držati dvije stvari, možemo držati 4,
12:05
and if we can hold four, we can hold eight,
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ako možemo 4, možemo i 8,
12:07
and if we can hold eight, we can hold hundreds.
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ako možemo 8, možemo na stotine.
12:10
We are complex individuals,
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Kompleksni smo individualci,
12:12
swirls of contradiction.
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vrtlozi kontradikcije.
12:14
You are all holding so many things right now.
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Svi trenutačno držite toliko stvari.
12:17
What can you do to hold just a few more?
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Što možete napraviti da primite samo nekoliko njih više?
12:22
So, back to Toledo, Ohio.
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Dakle, natrag na Toledo, Ohio.
12:24
I'm at the front of the line,
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Na početku sam reda,
12:26
niece on my shoulders, the frazzled clerk calls me Dad.
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nećakinja na mojim ramenima, iscrpljena radnica me nazove tatom.
12:30
Have you ever been mistaken for the wrong gender?
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Jesu li vama ikada pogriješili spol?
12:35
Not even that.
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Čak ni to.
12:37
Have you ever been called something you are not?
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Jesu li vas ikada nazvali nečime što niste?
12:43
Here's what it feels like for me:
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Ovako je to za mene:
12:46
I am instantly an internal storm of contrasting emotions.
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U trenutku postajem unutarnja oluja kontrastnih osjećaja.
12:50
I break out into a sweat that is a combination of rage and humiliation,
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probije mi znoj koji je kombinacija bijesa i poniženja,
12:55
I feel like the entire store is staring at me,
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osjećam se kao da cijela trgovina gleda u mene,
12:58
and I simultaneously feel invisible.
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i istovremeno se osjećam nevidljivom.
13:01
I want to explode in a tirade of fury,
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Želim eksplodirati u tiradu bijesa,
13:04
and I want to crawl under a rock.
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i želim se podvući pod kamen.
13:06
And top all of that off with the frustration that I'm wearing
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Na vrhu svega toga se nalazi frustracija jer nosim
13:09
an out-of-character tight-fitting purple t-shirt,
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usku, ljubičastu, vankarakternu majicu,
13:13
so this whole store can see my boobs,
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tako da mi cijeli dućan vidi sise,
13:15
to make sure this exact same thing doesn't happen.
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kako bih osigurala da se baš ta stvar ne dogodi.
13:18
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
13:20
But, despite my best efforts to be seen as the gender I am,
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No, unatoč mojim najboljim naporima da budem viđena u spolu koji jesam,
13:24
it still happens.
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i dalje se događa.
13:26
And I hope with every ounce of my body that no one heard --
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I nadam se svakim gramom svoga tijela da nitko nije čuo --
13:31
not my sister, not my girlfriend, and certainly not my niece.
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ni moja sestra, ni moja djevojka, i definitivno ne moja nećakinja.
13:36
I am accustomed to this familiar hurt,
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Naviknuta sam na ovu poznatu bol,
13:38
but I will do whatever I need to do to protect the people I love from it.
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no napravit ću što trebam da od nje zaštitim ljude koje volim.
13:43
But then I take my niece off my shoulders,
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No tada skidam nećakinju s ramena,
13:46
and she runs to Elsa and Anna --
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2174
i ona otrči Elsi i Anni --
13:48
the thing she's been waiting so long for --
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ono na što je toliko čekala --
13:51
and all that stuff goes away.
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i sve to nestane.
13:53
All that matters is the smile on her face.
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Sve što je važno je osmijeh na njenom licu.
13:56
And as the 30 seconds we waited two and a half hours for comes to a close
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I kako 30 sekundi, na kojih smo čekali dva i pol sata, dolazi kraju,
14:02
we gather up our things, and I lock eyes with the clerk again;
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skupljamo stvari i ponovno susretnem pogled prodavačice;
14:07
and she gives me an apologetic smile and mouths,
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daje mi osmijeh isprike i oblikuje ustima:
14:10
"I am so sorry!"
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"Tako mi je žao!"
14:13
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
14:15
And her humanity, her willingness to admit her mistake disarms me immediately,
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Njena humanost, njena volja da prizna svoju pogrešku me razoružava trenutno,
14:21
then I give her a: "It's okay, it happens. But thanks."
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i tada joj kažem: "U redu je, događa se. Ali hvala."
14:26
And I realize in that moment
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I shvatim u tom trenutku
14:29
that I don't have to be
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da ne moram biti
14:31
either an aunt or an advocate, I can be both.
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ili teta ili odvjetnik, mogu biti oboje.
14:36
I can live in duality, and I can hold two things.
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Mogu živjeti u dualnosti, mogu držati dvije stvari.
14:42
And if I can hold two things in that environment,
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I ako u tom okruženju mogu držati dvije stvari,
14:45
I can hold so many more things.
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mogu držati toliko mnogo više stvari.
14:47
As my girlfriend and my niece hold hands and skip out the front of the door,
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Dok moja djevojka i moja nećakinja izlaze iz trgovine držeći se za ruke,
14:51
I turn to my sister and say, "Was it worth it?"
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okrenem se svojoj sestri i upitam: "Je li vrijedilo?"
14:54
And she said, "Are you kidding me?
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A ona mi vrati: "Zezaš me?
14:55
Did you see the look on her face? This was the greatest day of her life!"
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Jesi li joj vidjela izraz lica? Ovo joj je bio najbolji dan u njenom životu!"
14:59
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
15:00
"It was worth the two and a half hours in the heat,
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2957
"Bilo je vrijedno dva i pol sata na vrućini,
15:03
it was worth the overpriced coloring book that we already had a copy of."
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bilo je vrijedno precijenjene bojanke koju i tako već imamo."
15:08
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
15:09
"It was even worth you getting called Dad."
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"Čak je bilo vrijedno i to da su te nazvali tatom."
15:13
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
15:17
And for the first time ever in my life, it actually was.
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I po prvi put u mom životu, zapravo i je bilo.
15:22
Thank you, Boulder. Have a good night.
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Hvala vam, Boulder. Ugodna vam noć.
15:25
(Applause)
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(Pljesak)
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