David Pogue: Cool new things you can do with your mobile

譯者: Marie Wu 審譯者: Leonard Lin

I'm the weekly tech critic for the New York Times.

我是紐約時報每週的科技評論專欄作家，

I review gadgets and stuff.

我會仔細觀察各種新奇的電子產品。

And mostly what good dads should be doing this time of year

大部分的好爸爸，在每年的這個時候，

is nestling with their kids and decorating the Christmas tree.

都是在家裡照顧孩子，裝飾聖誕樹；

What I'm mostly doing this year

而我要做的卻是

is going on cable TV and answering the same question:

上有線電視的節目，回答相同的問題。

"What are the tech trends for next year?"

「明年的科技趨勢會是什麼？」

And I'm like, "Didn't we just go through this last year?"

我會回答：「我們不是去年才講過這個嗎？」

But I'm going to pick the one that interests me most, and that is the

但我今天要講的是我覺得最有趣的東西，

completed marriage of the cell phone and the Internet.

它結合了行動電話與網路。

You know, I found that volcano on Google Images,

我在Google上找到了這張火山照片，

not realizing how much it makes me look like the cover of Dianetics.

但我沒注意到這照片會讓我看起來像是戴尼提(心靈叢書)的封面。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Anyway, this all started a few years ago,

剛才所提到的東西在幾年前就開始研發，

when they started carrying your voice over the Internet rather than over a phone line,

當時有一種技術可以透過網路打電話，而不用透過電話，

and we've come a long way since that.

基於這項技術又持續開發了一段時間。

But that was interesting in itself. This is companies like Vonage.

但這項技術本身就已經很有趣了，像是Vonage就有提供這種服務。

Basically you take an ordinary telephone, you plug it into this little box

你可以拿一具一般的電話，插進他們給你的這個小盒子裡，

that they give you and the box plugs into your cable modem.

再把小盒子連上你的數據機，

Now, it works just like a regular phone.

就跟平常打電話一樣了。

So you can pick up the phone, you hear a dial tone,

你把電話拿起來，就會聽到撥號音，

but its just a fake-out. It's a WAV file of a dial tone,

但那個撥號音是假的，只不過是撥號音的WAV檔案，

just to reassure you that the world hasn't ended.

它要讓你知道世界末日還沒有到，

It could be anything. It could be salsa music

你可以更改這個撥號音，可以改成騷莎音樂，

or a comedy routine -- it doesn't matter.

也可以改成喜劇音效，什麼都可以。

The little box has your phone number.

小盒子裡有你的電話號碼，

So that's really cool -- you can take it to London or Siberia,

那很酷，因為你可以把盒子帶到倫敦或西伯利亞，

and your next door neighbor can dial your home number and your phone will ring,

你住家的鄰居可以撥打你家裡的電話，然後小盒子就會響，

because it's got everything in the box.

所有東西都放在盒子裡了。

They've got every feature known to man in there,

他們把所有功能都設計在裡面了，

because adding a new feature is just software.

因為增加一個新功能只不過是增加一些軟體而已。

And as a result of Voice Over IP --

因為VOIP網路電話的興起--

I hate that term -- Voice Over Internet --

我覺得VOIP不好，VOI(internet)比較好--

land-line home-phone service has gone down 30 percent in the last three years.

室內電話的服務率在過去三年裡下降了百分之30。

I mean, no self-respecting college kid has home phone service anymore.

走在時代尖端的大學生已經都不使用室內電話了，

This is what college kids are more likely to have. It's the most popular

大學生現在比較喜歡這個，也就是全世界

VOIP service in the world: It's Skype.

最受歡迎的網路電話：Skype。

It's a free program you download for your Mac or PC,

那是一種免費的程式，你可以下載到自己的電腦裡，

and you make free phone calls anywhere in the world

然後就可以免費打電話到世界各地去。

The downside is that you have to wear a headset like a nerd.

缺點是你得像個呆瓜一樣戴著耳機，

It's not your phone -- it's your computer.

因為你不是用電話打電話，而是用電腦打電話。

But nonetheless, if you're a college kid and you have no money,

不管怎樣，如果你是個窮學生，

believe me, this is better than trying to use your cell phone.

相信我，這絕對比你打手機划算。

It's really cute seeing middle-aged people

看那些像我一樣的中年人

like me, try out Skype for the first time,

第一次嚐試用Skype打電話真的很好玩，

which is usually when their kid goes away for a semester abroad.

這些人大部分都有在國外就學的小孩，

They don't want to pay the international fees,

他們不想支付昂貴的國際電話費，

so they're like, "Timmy! Is that you?"

他們打Skype的時候會像這樣：「提米，是你嗎？」

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

It's really cute.

真的很好玩！

But I -- at least it was when I did it --

至少我都是這樣做的...

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

I think where VOIP is really going to get interesting

當網路電話和手機結合時，

is when they start putting it on cell phones.

一定會變得更有趣！

Imagine if you had an ordinary cell phone,

想想看，你拿著一支一般的手機，

and any time you were in a wireless hotspot --

只要附近有無線網點，

free calls anywhere in the world,

你就可以隨時撥打免費的電話，

never pay the cellular company a nickel.

都不用再繳一分錢給手機公司。

It'd be really, really cool -- and yet,

那真的、真的太酷了！

even though the technology for this has been available

雖然這個科技已經問世五年了，

for five years, incredibly,

不可思議吧？...

the number of standard cell phones

但是美國的手機業者

offered by US carriers with free VOIP

能提供這種免費網路電話的家數

is zero!

是零！

I can't figure out why!

真不知道是為什麼！

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Actually, I need to update that. There's one now.

這個資料需要更新一下，現在已經有一家了，

And it's so interesting that I thought I would tell you about it.

我一定得告訴你們，因為真的很有趣。

It comes from T-Mobile.

那家手機公司叫做T-Mobile，

And I am not paid by T-Mobile.

他們沒有付錢給我，

I'm not plugging T-Mobile.

我也不是在幫他們打廣告，

The New York Times has very rigid policies about that.

紐約時報針對這一點可是有嚴格的規定，

Ever since that Jayson Blair jerk ruined it for all of us.

上次就是傑森．布萊爾(報導作假)這個混蛋把我們害慘了。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Basically, the reason you haven't heard about this program

你們之所以沒有聽過這個新技術，

is because it was introduced last year

是因為這個技術在去年(2007)

on June 29.

6月29日才剛剛上市。

Does anyone remember what else happened on June 29 last year?

有誰記得去年6月29日還發生了什麼事嗎？

It was the iPhone. The iPhone came out that day.

iPhone，iPhone在那天上市。

I'm like, can you imagine being the

你能想像身為T-Mobile

T-Mobile PR lady? You know?

的公關發言小姐的感想嗎？

"Hi, we have an announcement to -- WAH!!!"

「嗨！我們要發佈一項..哇啊啊啊!!!」

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

But it's actually really, really cool. You have a choice of phones,

那個技術是真的很酷！你可以選擇自己想要的手機，

and we're not talking smartphones --

但我們不是在談智慧手機，

ordinary phones, including a Blackberry, that have Wi-Fi.

而是一般內建有Wi-Fi的手機，包括黑莓機也行。

The deal is, any time you're in a Wi-Fi hotspot,

只要附近有Wi-Fi網點，

all your calls are free.

你就可以免費打電話。

And when you're out of the hotspot, you're on the regular cellular network.

一旦離開了無線網點區域，就會回復到一般手機的通訊網絡上。

You're thinking, "Well, how often am I in a hotspot?"

你會想：「嗯，我什麼時候會接觸到無線網點呢？」

The answer is, "All the time!"

答案是：「無時無刻！」

Because they give you

因為他們會給你一個

a regular wireless router that works with the phone,

一般的無線路由器放在家裡，這樣就能讓

for your house.

你的手機發揮作用。

Which is really ingenious, because we all know that

這真的很聰明，因為我們都知道

T-Mobile is the most pathetic carrier.

T-Mobile是最可憐的手機商，

They have coverage like the size of my thumbnail.

他們的覆概率大概就像我的手指甲這麼大。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

But it's a hundred million dollars to put up one of those towers. Right?

但要建起那種巨大的基地台可是要花上億元，對吧？

They don't have that kind of money. Instead they give each of us

他們沒有那種資本，但他們可以給我們每人一個

a seven-dollar-and-95-cent box. They're like a stealth tower installation program.

7塊9角5分錢的小盒子，就像在蓋一座隱形的基地台一樣。

We're putting it in our homes for them!

我們是幫他們把基地台放在家裡！

Anyway, they have Wi-Fi phones in Europe.

總之，他們已經在歐洲發行了這種Wi-Fi手機了，

But the thing that T-Mobile did that nobody's done before

他們前所未有的壯舉是，

is, when you're on a call an you move from Wi-Fi into cellular range,

當你從Wi-Fi網路移動到手機網絡時，

the call is handed off in mid-syllable,

通話完全不會中斷，

seamlessly. I'll show you the advanced technologies

可以銜接得天衣無縫。我要播放一段

we use at the New York Times to test this gear.

我們在紐約時報測試這玩意兒的影片，

This is me with a camcorder on a phone

我那時就拿著一台攝影機，像這樣

going like this.

對著我的手機照...

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

As I walk out of the house from my Wi-Fi hotspot

當我一邊和我太太通話，一邊走出房門，

into the cellular network on a call with my wife --

離開Wi-Fi網點進入到手機網絡時，

look at the upper left. That's the Wi-Fi signal.

看看我手機的左上角，那就是Wi-Fi的標誌。

(Video): Jennifer Pogue: Hello?

(影片)：珍妮佛：哈囉？

David Pogue: Hi babes, it's me.

大衛：嗨，寶貝，是我。

JP: Oh, hi darling, how are you?

珍妮佛：嗨，親愛的，你好嗎？

DP: You're on Wi-Fi. How does it sound?

大衛：我現在在用Wi-Fi通話，聽起來還好嗎？

JP: Oh, it sounds pretty good.

珍妮佛：聽起來很好。

Now, I'm leaving the house. DP: I'm going for a walk -- do you mind?

大衛：現在我要離開房子，出去走走，你不介意吧？

JP: No not at all. I'm having a great day with the kids.

珍妮佛：不會啊，我正和孩子玩得開心呢...

DP: What are you guys doing?

大衛：你們在玩什麼？

Right there!

看這裡！

It just changed to the cellular tower in mid-call.

在我們通話的時候，就轉成基地台的訊號了！

I don't know why my wife says I never listen to her. I don't get that.

我真不明白為什麼我太太老是抱怨我不聽她說話...

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

The bottom line is that the boundaries,

由於手機加上網路，

because of the Internet plus cell phone, are melting.

各國的疆界概念正逐步淡化。

The cool thing about the T-Mobile phones

關於T-Mobile最棒的事是，

is that although switching technologies is very advanced,

即使他們可以做到這麼先進的轉換技術，

the billing technology has not caught up.

但他們的收費技術卻還沒有跟上。

So what I mean is that you can start a call

我的意思是，你可以在家裡

in your house in the Wi-Fi hotspot,

用Wi-Fi網點打出電話，

you can get in your car and talk until the battery's dead --

然後走到車上說個不停，直到用完電池，

which would be like 10 minutes --

那大概是十分鐘左右...

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

And the call will continue to be free.

那通電話還是免費的。

Because they don't, they haven't --

因為他們還沒有...

well, no, wait! Not so fast.

嗯，不是，別高興得太早，

It also works the other way.

反過來也是一樣。

So if you start a call on your cellular network

如果你用手機訊號打出電話，

and you come home, you keep being billed.

就算你走回家裡，還是會持續計費。

Which is why most people with this service

這就是為什麼購買了這項服務的人，

get into the habit of saying,

會習慣說出這句話：

"Hey, I just got home. Can I call you right back?"

「嘿，我剛到家，我馬上再回電話給你可以嗎？」

Now you get it.

現在知道了吧！

It's also true that if you use one of these phones overseas,

如果你在國外使用這種電話，

it doesn't know what Internet hotspot you're in.

它一樣搞不清楚你是在哪個網路底下，

On the Internet nobody knows you're a dog,

在網路上沒人知道你是什麼阿貓阿狗，

right? Nobody knows you're in Pakistan.

對吧？沒人知道你是在巴基斯坦，

You can make free unlimited calls

於是你便可以無限暢打免費電話，

home to the US with these phones. So, very, very interesting.

用這支手機打回美國的家，這真的、真的很有趣！

This is another favorite of mine.

這裡還有另一個我的最愛。

Does anyone here have a working cell phone

現在有誰的手機可以通話？

that's on, with coverage, who can make a call right now without a lot of fussing?

就是已經開機、還有訊號、拿起來就可以打的手機？

OK. Would you call me please right now? [Phone number given.]

好，你現在可以打給我嗎？

And don't you all call me at three a.m. asking me to fix your printer.

你可別在半夜三點打給我，要我去幫你修印表機哦！

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

I have two cell phones, so this going to be very odd, if it works.

我有二支手機，如果這個展示成功的話，那就怪了！

I should know not to do technology demos

我早就知道不該在觀眾前面

in front of an audience. It's just, like, absurd.

做這種科技展示的，看起來就很怪！

This one is going off. And -- oh, I have the ringer off. Tsh! Great.

這支手機會響，噢，我把它關靜音了，噢，好了。

Anyway, this one is also going off. So they're both ringing at the same time.

這支也會響，現在他們一起響了。

Excuse me one second.

抱歉，讓我接個電話，

Hello?

哈囉？

Oh. Where are you calling from?

噢，你從哪兒打來的？

No, no just kidding. There he is. Thank you very much for doing that.

不，我開玩笑的！他就在那兒，謝謝你幫忙打電話，

I didn't even know it was you -- I was looking at this guy.

我還不知道是你哩，我還以為是前面這傢伙。

Oh great! Yeah. Yeah you can all stop calling now!

噢，好，好了！你們都別再打了！

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

All right! We've made the point.

好了，大家都看到了吧？

All right. Ringer off. Everyone wants in on the action.

好，靜音好了！每個人都想打進來...

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

So this is Grand Central at work -- it's a --

這是Grand Central...

oh, for gods sake!

噢，拜託！

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

I have your numbers now!

我有你們的電話囉！

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

You will pay.

你們會付出代價的！

Grand Central is this really brilliant idea

Grand Central想出這個好點子，

where they give you a new phone number,

他們先給你一個新的電話號碼，

and then at that point one phone number rings all your phones at once.

然後，只要有人打這個電話號碼，你所有的電話都會響，

Your home phone, your work phone, your cell phone, your yacht phone

包括你家裡的電話、辦公室電話、手機、遊艇上的電話...

(this is the EG crowd).

那是有錢人的玩意兒...

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

The beauty of that is you never miss a call.

這個好處是你不會漏接電話，

I know a lot of you are like,

但我知道你們有人會說：

"Ooh, I don't want to be reached at any hour."

「噢，我才不要別人時時刻刻都找得到我。」

But the beauty is it's all going through the internet,

由於這項科技是透過網路來做到的，

so you get all of these really cool features --

所以當你使用這個功能時，

like you can say, I want these people to be able to call me only during these hours.

你可以設定你想在什麼時間接聽什麼人的電話，

And I want these people to hear this greeting,

也可以設定要讓什麼人聽什麼留言指示，

"Hi boss, I'm out making us both some money. Leave a message."

「嗨，老闆，我現在外出去幫公司賺錢，請留言。」

And then your wife calls, and, "Hi honey, leave me a message."

如果你老婆打來，就用：「親愛的，請留言。」

Very, very customizable.

完全依照需求設計。

Google bought it, and they've been working on it for a year.

Google把這項科技買下來了，他們也已經研究了一年左右，

They're supposed to come out with it very shortly in a public method.

他們應該很快就能讓這項科技上市。

By the way, this is something that really bothers me.

對了，有件事一直困擾著我，

I don't know if you realize this. When you call 411 on your cell phone,

我不知道你們有沒有發現，當你用手機撥411(查號台)時，

they charge you two bucks.

一通要收你二美金，

Did you know that? It's an outrage.

你知道嗎？這太過份了。

I actually got a photograph of the Verizon employee right there.

這是Verizon員工的照片，

I'm going to tell you how to avoid that now.

我來告訴你們怎麼省下那二塊美金。

What you're going to use is Google Cellular.

你要用的工具叫做Google Cellular，

It's totally free -- there's not even ads.

那是免費的軟體，也沒有廣告，

If you know how to send a text message, you can get the same information for free.

如果你知道怎麼發簡訊，你就知道怎麼取得一些免費的資訊，

I'm about to change your life. So here's me doing it.

這會改變你的生活。這是我的作法：

You send a text message to the word "Google,"

你用簡訊發送"Google"這個字，

which turns out to be 46645.

轉換成數字就是46645，

Leave off the last "e" for savings.

最後一個"e"可以省略不打，

Anyway, so lets say you need a drugstore near Chicago.

現在，假設你要查芝加哥附近的藥房，

You type "pharmacy Chicago," or the zip code.

你就輸入「芝加哥藥房」或郵遞區號，

You hit send, and in five seconds,

按下傳送，然後五秒之內，

they will send you back the two closest drugstores,

他們就會回傳給你二家最近藥房的名字、

complete with name address and phone number.

住址和電話號碼。

Here it comes.

來了！

And it's already written down -- so, like, if you're driving,

全都清清楚楚，所以如果你在開車，

you don't have to do one of these things, "Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh."

你就不用邊開邊說：「嗯..嗯嗯..啊..啊啊..」

It works with weather, too.

這也可以用來查天氣，

You can say "Weather," and the name of the city you're going to travel to.

你只要輸入「天氣」和你要查詢的城市名稱，

And then in five seconds, they send you back

然後五秒之內，他們就會回傳給你

the complete weather forecast for that town.

那個城市的天氣預測資訊。

Shortly I'll tell you why I was in Milan.

待會兒我會告訴你們為什麼我會在米蘭，

Here we go. And those are just the beginning.

來了！這些只是開場而已，

These are all the different things that you can text to Google and they will --

這些全都是Google提供的簡訊服務--

yeah! You're all trying to write this down.

哇！你們全都在抄筆記，

That's cute. I do have an email address. You can just ask me.

真是太好玩了！我有電子郵件耶...跟我要就行了啊...

It's absolutely phenomenal. The only downside

這真是太棒了！唯一的壞處是

is that it requires you to know how to text --

你得知道怎麼發簡訊，

send a text message. Nobody over 40 knows how to do that.

對，發簡訊。超過四十歲的人，沒人知道怎麼發簡訊。

So I'm going to teach you something even better.

所以我要告訴你們一個更好用的工具，

This is called Google Info.

叫做Google Info。

They've just launched this voice-activated version of the same thing.

他們剛剛才發行這個東西的聲控版，

It's speech recognition like you've never heard before.

這個工具的聲音辨識能力是你以前沒有看過的。

So lets say I'm in Monterey,

假設說我在蒙特利好了，

and I want what?

我會想要什麼？

I want to find what? Bagels. OK.

我會去那裡找什麼？貝果，好。

Google: Say the business and the city and state.

Google:請說出你要去的縣市、城市和要找的店家。

DP: Bagels, Monterey, California.

大衛：加州蒙特利市的貝果。

I got the Chinese line.

我好像接到中文服務了...

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Google: Bagels, Monterey, California.

Google:加州蒙特利市的貝果。

Top eight results: Number one,

前八項搜尋結果：第一，

Bagel Bakery on El Dorado Street.

度拉多街上的貝果烘焙屋。

To select number one, you can press one or say "number one."

要選擇第一個搜尋結果，請按下1或說「第一個」。

Number two: Bagel Bakery, commissary department.

第二，販賣部的貝果烘焙屋。

Number Two. Number Two. Two.

第二個...第二個...2...

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Why do I listen to people in the audience?

我為什麼要聽觀眾的？

Well anyway -- oh! Here we go!

不管了...噢，出來了！

Google: ... commissary department on McClellan Avenue, Monterey.

Google:...販賣部是在蒙特利市的麥可里蘭街，

I'll connect you, or say "details," or "go back."

現在幫您接通，或者您可以說「詳細內容」或「返回」。

DP: He's connecting me! He doesn't even tell me the phone number.

大衛：他現在要幫我接通電話，他還沒告訴我電話號碼哩...

He's just connecting me directly. It's like having a personal valet.

就直接幫我打電話了，真像是個私人管家！

Google: Hold on.

Google:請不要掛斷...

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

DP: Hi, could I have 400 with a schmear?

大衛：嗨，我要400個奶油起士口味的...

No, no, no -- just kidding, no no.

不不不，我開玩笑的...

So anyway, you never even find out the number.

所以呢，你連記電話號碼都不用，

It's just so amazing.

真是太神奇了！

And it has incredible, incredible accuracy.

而且非常地準確！

This is even more amazing. Put this in your speed dial.

還有更神奇的，快把這個號碼記下來吧！

This you can ask by voice any question.

你可以打這支電話問任何問題，

Who won the 1958 World Series?

像是誰贏了1958年的世界聯賽？

What's the recipe for a certain cocktail?

某種雞尾酒的配方？

It's absolutely amazing -- and they text you back the answer.

真的很神奇！他們會用簡訊回覆你的問題。

I tried this this morning just to make sure it's still alive.

為了確定這個功能還能不能用，我早上還親自試了一下，

"Which actors have played James Bond?"

我問：誰演過007？

They text me back this: "Sean Connery,

他們用簡訊回我：史恩．康納萊、

George Lazenby, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan, Daniel Craig."

喬治．拉森比、羅傑．摩爾、提摩西．達頓、皮爾斯．布洛斯南、丹尼爾．奎格。

Right! And then I was trying to pretend I was like a Valley girl.

答對了！然後我假裝我自己是個沒什麼知識的人，

I'm like, "What's the word that means you know, like,

我問：「嗯，當太陽、月亮和地球都成一直線的時候，

when the sun, the moon and the earth are, like, all in a line?"

一般人稱之為什麼？」

Just to see how the recognition was.

我想測試看看他們的聲音辨識能力，

They texted me back, "It's called a syzygy."

他們回我：「那叫做朔望(syzygy)。」

Which I knew, because it's the word that won me the Ohio spelling bee in 1976.

我知道那個字，我就是靠那個字贏得1976年的俄亥俄州拼字比賽的。

You know, there's a lot of people wondering, "How on earth are they going to

很多人會問：「他們提供這種服務，

make money doing this?" And the answer is: look at the last line.

是要怎麼賺錢？」看看最後一行，你就會知道。

They put this teeny-weeny little ad, about 10 characters long.

他們在那裡放了一行大約十個字的小廣告。

And a lot of people also want to know, "How does it work?

還有人會問：「他們是怎麼辦到的？

How can it be so good? It's as though there is a human being

怎麼會這麼正確？好像是有一個真人

on the other end of the line."

在另一頭接聽一樣。」

Because there is one!

真的有人在接聽啊！

They have 10,000 people

有十萬個人為他們工作，

who are being paid 20 cents per answer.

每個答案可以得到20美分的報酬，

As you can imagine, it's college kids and old people.

所以大部分都是大學生和老人家在做這個工作，

That's who can afford to do that.

也只有他們能擔任這種工作。

But it's a human being on the line. And it's gotten me out of so many

電話裡是真的有人在接聽，所以我幫助我很多

tough positions like, "When's the last flight out of Chicago?"

在我需要答案的時候，像是：「芝加哥最後一班起飛的飛機是在幾點？」

You know. It's just absolutely amazing.

那真的很棒！

Another thing that really bothers me about cell phones today --

我要講講真正讓我很困擾的手機功能，

this is probably my biggest pet peeve in all of technology.

或許也是在所有科技裡最令我憤怒的功能。

When I call to leave you a message,

當我打電話給某人要留言時，

I get 15 seconds of instructions

我要先聽個15秒的指示，

from a third-grade teacher on Ambien!

而且還由一個音調沒什麼起伏的三年級老師唸出來！

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

"To page this person ... "

「若要(用BBCall)呼叫對方...」

Page? What is this, 1975?

呼叫？現在是1975年嗎？

Nobody has pagers anymore.

現在還有誰在用BBCall？

"You may begin speaking at the tone.

「請在嗶一聲之後留言，

When you have finished recording,

留言完畢

you may hang up." No!

請掛斷。」不！

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

And then it gets worse:

還有更糟的：

when I call to retrieve my messages,

當我要聽留言的時候，

first of all: "You have 87 messages.

首先會聽到：「您有87通留言，

To listen to your messages ... "

要聽請按...」

Why else am I calling?

不聽我打來幹嘛啊？

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Of course I want to listen to the messages!

我當然是要聽留言啊！

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Oh! You all have cell phones too.

噢！你們都有手機嘛！

So last year I went to Milan, Italy,

去年，我去了義大利的米蘭，

and I got to speak to an audience

我在那裡發表了一場演講，

of cellular executives from 200 countries around the world.

聽眾全是來自200個國家的手機業者的高階主管。

And I said as a joke -- as a joke, I said,

我那時開了一個玩笑，真的是玩笑，我說：

"I did the math. Verizon has 70 million customers.

「我算了一下，Verizon有七千萬個用戶，

If you check your voicemail twice a day,

如果每個用戶每天聽二次留言，

that's 100 million dollars a year.

一年就有一億的收入。

I bet you guys are doing this just to run up our airtime, aren't you?"

我猜你們就是想用光我們的通話時間，對吧？」

No chuckle. They're like this --

底下完全沒人在笑，他們反而都直點頭...

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Where is the outrage, people? Rise up!

你們沒看到他們這麼過份嗎？大家起來反抗啊！

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Sorry. I'm not bitter.

對不起，我太激動了！

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

So now I'm going to tell you how to get out of that.

好，我要告訴你們怎麼省錢，

There are these services that transcribe

有一種服務會把你的留言

your voicemail into text.

轉換成文字，

And they send it either to your email

然後寄到你的電子信箱

or as text messages to your phone.

或是發簡訊給你，

It is a life-changer.

那完全顛覆了現在的作法。

And by the way, they don't always get the words right,

噢，對了，他們不是永遠不會打錯字，

because it's over the phone and all that.

因為他們聽到的是留言，難免有錯，

So they attach the audio file at the bottom of the email

所以他們會把聲音檔附在郵件下面，

so you can listen to double-check.

你可以重覆再聽一次來檢查文字的正確性。

The services are called things like Spinvox,

有幾家公司提供這種服務，像是Spinvox、

Phonetag -- this is the one I use --

Phonetag--我是用這一家的服務，

Callwave. A lot of people say, "How are they doing this?

還有Callvave。很多人問：「他們是怎麼做的？

I don't really want people listening in to my calls."

我可不希望有人竊聽我的電話。」

The executives at these companies told me,

這些公司的高階主管告訴我：

"Well we use a proprietary B-to-B, best-of-breed, peer-to-peer soluti -- " you know.

「我們使用有專利的B2B技術，還有P2P技術...」

I think basically it's like these guys in India with headsets, you know, listening in.

我想那不就是有幾個印度人在印度戴著耳機聽你的留言嗎？

The reason I think that is that

我會這樣想是有原因的，

on the first day I tried one of these services,

因為我第一天測試這種服務的時候，

I got two voicemail messages. One was from a guy named Michael Stevenson,

我收到了二通留言，其中一個是從一位叫麥可．史蒂文生的傢伙打來的，

which shouldn't be that hard to transcribe, and it was misspelled.

我覺得他的名字沒有那麼難拼，但還是拼錯了；

The other was from my video producer at the Times, whose name is Vijaiy Singh,

另一個則是我在紐約時報的影音製作人，他的名字是Vijaiyh，

with the silent 'h'. Nailed that one.

有一個不發音的h，這個就拼對了。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

So you be the judge.

你們自己評斷看看...

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Anyway, this service, Callwave, promises

不管怎樣，Callwave保證，他們的服務

that it's all software -- nobody is listening to your messages.

全部是由軟體操作，所以不會有人聽到你的留言；

And they also promise that they're going to transcribe only the gist

他們也保證只會把留言內容裡的重點

of your messages.

抄錄下來...

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

So I thought I'd see how that goes.

我那時就想要看好不好用，

This is me testing it out.

所以我就測試了一下。

(Video): Hello, this is Michael.

哈囉，我是麥可，

Hope you're doing well. I'm fine here. Everything's good.

你還不錯吧？我在這裡很好，每件事都很順心，

Hey, I was walking along the street and the sky was blue.

嘿，我剛在街上散步，天空很藍，

And your daughter broke her leg at soccer practice.

你的女兒在練習足球的時候摔斷了腿，

I'm going to have a sandwich for lunch.

我今天中午打算吃個三明治，

She's in room -- emergency room 53W.

你女兒的病房，她在53W急診病房。

OK, talk to you later -- bye.

好，下次再聊吧，拜拜。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

I love my job.

我超愛我的工作...

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

So a couple minutes later, this I got by email.

幾分鐘之後，我收到了電子郵件，

It's a very good transcription. But a couple minutes after that,

寫得很詳實，但又過了幾分鐘之後，

I got the text message version. Now remember,

我收到了簡訊版，各位要知道，

a text message can only be 160 characters long.

簡訊只能容納160個字元，

So it had better be the gist of the gist, right?

所以只能寫重點，對吧？

I'm not kidding you. The message said,

我不騙你，簡訊上說：

"Was walking along the street" and "sky was blue" and "emergency"!

「在街上散步」、「天空很藍」和「急診室」！

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

What the f -- ?

搞什麼？

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Well I guess that was the gist.

我想那就是重點吧...

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

And lastly, I just have to talk about this one.

最後，我得和你們聊聊這個，

This is my favorite of all time. It's called Popularitydialer.com.

這是我一直以來的最愛，叫做Popularitydialer.com，

Basically, you're going to go on some

有時你不得不去赴某些約會，

iffy date, or a potentially bad meeting.

或是要去參加一個很糟的會議，

So you go and you type in your phone number,

這時你就可以把你的電話號碼輸入，

and at the exact minute where you want to be called --

再輸入某個你想要被電話打斷的時刻...

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

And at that moment your phone will ring.

然後，在那個時點你的電話就會響，

And you're like, "I'm sorry. I've got to take this."

你只要說：「抱歉，我得接個電話。」

The really beautiful thing is,

最棒的是，

you know how when somebody's sitting next to you, sometimes they can sort of

有時候大家會坐得很近，其他人有時會

hear a little bit of the caller.

聽到一些對話的內容，

So they give you a choice

所以這個公司讓你可以選擇

of what you want to hear on the other end.

要不要讓這種電話實際對話。

Here's the girlfriend.

這是女朋友的版本：

Phone: Hey you, what's going on?

電話：嘿，你還好嗎？

DP: I'm kinda, like, giving a talk right now.

大衛：嗯，我現在在演講。

Phone: Well, that's good.

電話：嗯，那很好啊。

DP: What are you doing?

大衛：你在做什麼？

Phone: I was just wondering what you were up to.

電話：我就是在想你在做什麼啊...

DP: Right, I can't really talk right now.

大衛：我現在不能跟你聊天啦...

This is the -- I love this -- the boss call.

還有一個，我很愛的版本，老闆的電話。

Phone: Hey, this is Mr. Johnson calling from the office.

電話：嘿，我是強生，我從辦公室打來。

DP: Oh, hi, sir.

大衛：噢，老闆你好。

Phone: Did you complete that thing about a month ago? That photocopier training?

電話：你完成上個月我們談的事情了嗎？就是影印機訓練的事？

DP: Oh -- sorry I forgot.

大衛：噢...抱歉，我忘了！

Phone: Yeah, well so when was the last time you used the photocopier?

電話：好，那你上次用影印機是什麼時候？

DP: It was like three weeks ago.

大衛：大概是三個星期以前吧。

Phone: Well, I don't know if you heard, you might have heard from Lenny, but --

電話：嗯，我不知道你聽說了沒有，或許藍尼有跟你提到，不過...

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

I think the biggest change when Internet met phone

我認為，當網路和電話結合時，

was with the iPhone.

最大的改變就是iPhone的出現。

Not my finest moment in New York Times journalism.

不是在我擔任紐約時報記者最得意的那幾年，

It was when in the fall of 2006,

而是在2006年的秋天，

I explained why Apple would never do a cell phone.

我曾報導為什麼蘋果不出手機，

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

I looked like a moron. However, my logic was good,

我看起來像個白痴。但是，我的邏輯很正確，

because -- I don't know if you realize this, but -- until the iPhone came along,

我不知道你們知不知道，但是直到iPhone上市之前，

the carriers -- Verizon, AT&T, Cingular --

手機系統業者像是Verizon、AT&T、Cingular等，

held veto power over every aspect

針對每一款手機的每一種功能、

of every design of every phone.

每一種設計都具有否決權。

I know the people who worked on the Treo.

我認識在Treo上班的員工，

They went around to these carriers and said,

他們會跑到手機系統業者那裡說：

"Look at these cool features." And Verizon is like, "Hmm, no.

「看看這個超酷的功能。」Verizon會回說：「嗯，不好，

I don't think so."

我不喜歡。」

It was not very conducive to innovation.

這種態度不是很有助於創新。

What I didn't anticipate was that Steve Jobs

我沒料的到是，賈柏斯竟然會跑出來說：

went around and said, "Tell you what -- I'll give you a five-year exclusive

「我跟你說，只要你讓我全權設計這支手機，

if you'll let me design this phone in peace --

我就給你五年的獨家代理，

and you won't even see it till it's done."

但在這之前你不能偷看。」

Actually, even so, he was turned down by Verizon and others.

即使是這樣，他還是被Verizon和其他系統業者拒絕了，

Finally Cingular said OK.

最後只有Cingular說好。

I'm going to talk about the effect of the iPhone.

我要來談談iPhone效應，

Please don't corner me at the party tonight

但你們不要在今晚的派對上把我圍住，

and go, "What are you? An Apple fan boy?"

問我說：「你是怎樣？蘋果迷是吧？」

- you know. I'm not.

我才不是哩！

You can see what I said about it. It's a flawed masterpiece.

聽聽看我的說法：這是一個有瑕疵的大師級作品，

It's got bad things and good things. Lets all acknowledge that right now.

我們得知道iPhone有優點也有缺點。

But it did change a few things. The first thing it changed

但iPhone改變了一些事，第一件事是

was that all those carriers saw

它讓所有系統業者見識到，

that they sold 10 million of these things in a year.

iPhone的銷量一年可達一千萬支。

And they said, "Oh my gosh, maybe we've been doing it wrong.

他們說：「天啊，或許我們做錯了，

Maybe we should let phone designers design the phones."

我們該讓手機製造商自己設計手機的。」

(Applause)

(掌聲)

Another thing was that it let 10 million people,

另一件事是，它首次讓一千萬個用戶

for the first time, experience being online all the time.

體驗到全時上網的樂趣，

Not using these 60-dollar-a-month

而不必用那種插在電腦上

cellular cards for their laptops.

一個月六十元的手機卡。

I don't understand why we're not there yet.

我不瞭解為什麼我們現在還辦不到，

When I'm an old man, I'm going to tell my grandchildren,

當我老了之後，我要告訴我的孫子：

"When I was your age, if I wanted to check my email,

「我在你這個年紀的時候，如果要看電子郵件，

I used to drive around town looking for a coffee shop. I did!"

我得開車到處找網咖才能看，真的是這樣！」

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

"We had wireless base stations that could

「我們那時的基地台，

broadcast -- yay, about 150 feet across."

涵蓋範圍有45公尺哩！」

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

It's absurd. We have power outlets

這很荒謬！我們在每一棟大樓

in every room of every building. We have running water.

的每一個房間裡都有插座，我們也有自來水，

What's the problem?

那問題到底出在哪裡？

Anyway -- but this teaches people what it's like.

好，至少我們知道這一行的內幕了。

You have to go to YouTube

你可以上YouTube看看，

and type in "iPhone Shuffle."

輸入"iPhone Shuffle"，

This guy did a mock video of one

有一個人拍了一段模倣的影片，

that's one inch square, like the real iPod Shuffle.

模倣那種一英吋大小的iPod Shuffle，

It's like, "It only has one button.

他說：「裡面只有一個按鈕，

Touch it and it dials a number at random."

按一下就會隨機撥號。」

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

"Who the hell is this?"

「你到底是誰？」

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

But the other thing it did

iPhone的另一項創舉

is it opened up this idea of an app store.

是建立了應用軟體商店這個概念，

It downloads right to the phone.

你可以把軟體下載到手機上，

And you can use the tilt sensor

然後利用手機上的傾斜感知器

to steer this car using this game.

來操縱這個遊戲裡的車子。

These programs can use all the components

這些軟體會用到iPhone的

of the iPhone -- the touch screen.

所有配備--像是觸控面板。

This is the Etch-A-Sketch program -- the theme of EG 2008.

這是繪圖軟體，也就是EG 2008的主題，

You know how you erase it?

你知道要怎麼擦掉這個圖案嗎？

Of course. You shake it.

搖一搖就可以了，

Right, of course. We shake it to erase, like this.

對，就像這樣搖一搖就擦掉了。

They have 10,000 of these programs.

iPhone有一萬個這種軟體可供下載，

This is the translator program. They have every language in the world.

這個是翻譯軟體，裡面包含了世界上所有的語言，

You type in what you want, and it gives you the translation.

你只要輸入你要查詢的字句，就會出現翻譯，

This is amazing. This is Midomi.

真的很神奇！這是Midomi，

A song is running through your head --

不管你想到什麼歌，

you sing it into the thing:

你只要對著它唱出來：

do do do do do, da da da da da da, da dum ...

嘟嘟嘟...嗒嗒嗒...

OK, you tap, "Done" and it will find out the song and play it for you.

好，按一下「完成」，它就會幫你找到那首歌，再為你播放，

I know. It's insane, right?

這真的很神奇，對吧？

This is Pandora. Free Internet radio. Not just free Internet radio --

這是Pandora，一個免費的網路電台，還不只這樣，

you type in a band or a song name.

你只要輸入樂團名稱或歌名，

It will immediately play you that song or that band.

它就會立刻為你播放那首歌或那個樂團的歌，

It has a thumbs-up and a thumbs-down.

下面還有喜歡或不喜歡的按鈕，

You say if you like this song or not.

你可以看你喜不喜歡那首歌，

If you like it, it tries another song on you

如果你喜歡，它就會播放另一個樂團

from a different band, with the same instrumentation, vocals,

具有類似配樂、合聲、旋律和節奏

theme and tempo.

的另一首歌，

If you like that one, or don't like it,

不管你喜不喜歡，

you do thumbs-up and thumbs-down. Over time it tailors the songs

你只要按下按鈕就行了，過一段時間之後，

so that it completely stops playing bad songs.

它就再也不會播放你不喜歡的歌了，

It eventually only plays songs you like.

而只會播放你喜歡的類型。

This is Urbanspoon. You're in a city. It knows from GPS where you're standing.

這是Urbanspoon，它會自動用GPS找出你在什麼城市的什麼地點，

You want to find a place to eat. You shake it.

如果你要找地方吃飯，搖一下，

It proposes a restaurant.

它就會建議一家餐館，

It gives you the price, and the location and ratings.

讓你知道價位、地點和評比。

Video: I'm not going all the way to Flushing.

(影片)：我可不想走那麼遠去Flushing這家餐館。

Anyway, just amazing, amazing things.

這真是太神奇了！

Of course, its not just about the iPhone.

當然，我們談的不只是iPhone，

The iPhone broke the dyke, the wall.

iPhone打破了一般的思考模式，

But now it's everybody else. So Google has done their own Android operating system

所以其他人也跟進了，像Google現在也開發了Android系統，

that will soon be on handsets -- phones from 34 companies.

很快就會應用在手機上，會推廣到全世界34個國家。

Touch screen -- very, very nice.

有觸控面板，很棒！

Also with its own app store, where you can download programs.

也有它自己的應用軟體商店，你可以從那裡下載軟體，

This is amazing. In the wake of all this,

真的很棒！在這一波浪潮裡，

Verizon, the most calcified, corporate,

Verizon這家最古板、

conservative carrier of all,

最保守的系統業者，

said, "You can use any phone you want on our network."

他們說：「消費者可以在我們的系統裡使用任何品牌手機。」

I love the Wired headline:

我很喜歡這個雜誌的標題：

Pigs Fly, Hell Freezes Over

母豬飛上天，地獄關上門，

and Verizon Opens Up Its Network -- No. Really.

Verizon才會真的開放系統。

So everything is changing. We've entered

每一件事都在改變，我們進入了一個

a new world of innovation, where the cell phone becomes your laptop,

創新的世界，現在的手機就是你的電腦，

customized the way you want it.

你還可以隨心所欲安裝你要的配備，

Every cell phone is unique. There is software that you can add on.

所以每一支手機都與眾不同，還有很多軟體供你選擇。

Can I do one more one-minute song? Thank you.

我可以再唱一首一分鐘的歌嗎？謝謝！

(Applause)

(掌聲)

Just to round it up -- this is the new Apple Power Music Stand.

在結束之前，我想給你們看看這台新的蘋果音樂平台，

It's only three pounds,

只有三磅重，

or 12 if you install Microsoft Office.

如果加裝微軟Office軟體的話，就會重達12磅。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Sorry, that was mean.

對不起，我太刻薄了。

This is a song I did for the New York Times website as a music video.

這是我為紐約時報的網站所寫的一首歌，還拍成影片，

Ladies and gentlemen, for seven blissful hours

各位先生女士，這支影片曾在YouTube上

it was the number one video on YouTube.

連續七個小時榮登第一名寶座。

(To the tune of "My Way")

And now the end is near.

現在即將進入尾聲，

I'm sick to death

我已經厭倦

of this old cell phone.

這支老舊的手機，

Bad sound, the signal's weak,

聲音不好，訊號又弱，

the software stinks.

軟體也很爛，

A made-in-Hell phone.

簡直就是地獄來的手機。

I've heard there's something new --

我聽說有新玩意兒，

a million times more rad than my phone.

比我的手機好上一百萬倍，

I too will join the cult.

我也要去買，

I want an iPhone.

我要一支iPhone。

Concerns -- I have a few. It's got some flaws;

我也會擔心，它會有很多缺點，

we may just face it.

我們不得不面對，

No keys, no memory card,

沒有鍵盤，沒有記憶卡，

the battery's sealed --

電池是封死的，

you can't replace it.

不能更換。

But God, this thing is sweet.

但老天，這東西真棒！

A multitouch, iPod, Wi-Fi phone.

多點觸控、可以聽音樂、打Wi-Fi電話，

You had me from, "Hello."

你會聽到我說：「哈囉！」

I want an iPhone.

我要一支iPhone，

I want to touch its precious screen.

我要觸摸它那珍貴的螢幕，

I want to wipe the smudges clean.

幫它好好地清理乾淨。

I want my friends to look and drool.

我要我的朋友羨慕我，

I want to say, "Look -- now I'm cool"

我要說：「看，我很酷吧？」

I stood in line and I'll get mine.

我寧願排隊也要買，

I want an iPhone.

我要一支iPhone。

For what is a man?

想成為男人嗎？

What has he got? If not iPhone,

要具備什麼？如果沒有iPhone，

then he's got squat.

就矮人一截，

It's all the things a phone should be.

手機就要買iPhone。

Who cares if it's AT&T?

誰在乎是不是AT&T？

I took a stand, paid half a grand!

我就是要買，就算要花五百美金，

And I got an iPhone!

我買到iPhone了！

(Applause)

(掌聲)

Thank you. Thank you very much.

謝謝！非常謝謝各位！

(Applause)

(掌聲)