An Olympic Champion's Mindset for Overcoming Fear | Allyson Felix | TED

譯者: 至磊Zi Le 黃Ng 審譯者: Helen Chang

One of the scariest moments of my career

我生涯中最可怕的時刻之一

started on a dark October morning in 2018.

起始於 2018 年 10 月 一個漆黑的早晨。

I’m a professional athlete, and my training schedule can be a lot.

我是一名職業運動員， 我的訓練時間表內容很多。

Six days a week, five hours a day.

每週六天，每天五小時。

It's intense.

這很密集。

Still, I never train that early.

即便如此，我從沒這麼早訓練過。

But on this day,

但這一天，

a special type of fear brought me out at 4am before the sun.

一種特別的恐懼讓我在 早上 4 點、日出之前便出了門。

A fear that someone might discover a secret I'd been keeping.

恐懼可能有人會發現 一個我一直掩藏的祕密。

I was six months pregnant.

我懷孕六個月了。

I was pregnant, and I was scared enough to train in the dark

我因為懷孕怕得只能在黑暗中訓練，

so that no one would see the life that was growing inside of me.

才不會有人看到 我身體裡逐漸成長的生命。

I feared that if a fan or someone posted a photo,

我恐懼如果粉絲或某人拍照發文，

that my sponsor would immediately change their mind

我的贊助商會立即改變主意，

about wanting to work with me.

不願和我合作。

I feared that I would be forced to choose between motherhood

我恐懼我會必須選擇要當一名母親 還是一名競技體育運動員。

and being a competitive athlete.

I feared that the career I worked so hard to build

我恐懼我費盡心力建立的生涯

would disappear just like that.

會毀於一旦。

You think I'm exaggerating, right?

你們覺得我誇大了，對吧？

How could a six-time Olympic champion, a 16-time world champion,

怎麼可能一位 6 度奧運冠軍、 16 次世界冠軍、

a world record holder,

世界紀錄保持人

possibly think that her career might be over by doing something

會覺得她的生涯有可能因為 懷孕這麼自然的事而結束？

as natural as having a baby?

Well, I'm not exaggerating.

嗯，我沒有誇大。

Getting pregnant in track and field has been called the “kiss of death.”

在田徑界中懷孕 被稱作「死亡之吻」。

And it comes with a lot of fear,

它伴隨著許多恐懼而來，

just like for women in many professions.

就像許多職業的女性一樣。

I have been watching women that I respect

我一直看到我尊敬的女性 和我的隊友掩藏懷孕的事，

and teammates of mine hide pregnancies

since I was 19 years old.

從我 19 歲時開始。

I've seen women have to make gut-wrenching decisions

我看到女性必須做出痛苦的抉澤，

like deciding whether to recover their health

像是決定要恢復健康 還是回歸這項運動，

or return to the sport.

Deciding whether to stay in the hospital with a sick child or go to a race

決定要在醫院陪伴生病的孩子 還是去參加比賽，

so that they don't receive a further pay reduction.

去參賽才不會使收入進一步被削減。

I know what some of you might be thinking.

我知道你們有些人可能在想什麼。

We all choose to get pregnant, right?

我們都是自己選擇懷孕的，對吧？

If a sponsor doesn't want to pay an athlete

如果贊助商不想付錢給運動員，

who's not out on the track winning,

因為她沒有在跑道上贏得勝利，

that's just part of the deal, right?

那不過是合約的一部分，對吧？

Well, I think the deal's rigged.

嗯，我認為合約是不公正的。

I think that companies want to have it both ways.

我認為企業想要魚與熊掌兼得。

And I think it's time we change.

我也認為是時候改變了。

Sports companies love to tell women that they can have it all.

運動企業喜歡告訴女性 她們可以擁有一切。

They can do it all, they can be it all.

她們完全能做到，能成為運動員。

We've all seen those inspirational ads.

我們都看過這種鼓舞人心的廣告。

I remember meeting with Nike leadership in 2010,

我記得 2010 年 和耐吉領導層會面時，

and they told me about an initiative they sponsored called the Girl Effect.

他們告訴我他們贊助了 一項叫「女孩效應」的倡議。

They promoted adolescent girls as the key to improving societies

他們支持青春期的女孩，

視之為改善世界各地社會的關鍵。

around the globe.

They said they believed in women and girls.

他們說他們對女人和女孩有信心。

And if I joined Nike,

而如果我加入耐吉，

I could empower them.

就能讓他們更有力。

And I believed that.

我相信了。

But guess what?

但猜猜發生什麼？

Girls come from somewhere.

女孩從某個地方來了。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And women having babies during childrearing years

女性在適合生兒育女的時期懷孕

is something that should be celebrated, not punished.

應該受到慶祝而非懲罰。

It should be a part of a normal, thriving, professional, athletic career.

這本該是一名正常的、成長的、 職業的、運動員的生涯。

And women in all fields should never feel the need

所有領域的女性都不該覺得她們需要

to hide a pregnancy, at 4am, in the dark,

在早上 4 點的黑暗中 掩藏懷孕的事，

so that they won't be photographed doing that thing that they love.

以免在從事她們喜愛的事時被拍照。

Thank you.

謝謝你們。

(Applause)

（掌聲）

Remember how scared I told you I was when I was on the track that day?

記得我說我那天 在跑道上時有多害怕嗎？

My mind was racing with the consequences of my decision to start a family.

我想著開始家庭生活的各種後果，

I had already been going through

我已經跟耐吉經過 一段艱難的重新談判，

a difficult renegotiation period with Nike,

and they were already offering me 70 percent less

他們要支付給我的減少了 70% ，

than what I had previously been making.

比起我以前所獲得的。

And that was even before they knew about the baby.

那甚至是在他們知道我有孩子之前。

Don't even get me started with the ageism

我甚至還沒受到資本主義 根深蒂固的年齡歧視。

that is embedded in the capitalist dream.

So when I told them about my pregnancy,

所以當我向知他們我的身孕，

I asked for a clause in the contract

我要求執行合約中的一項條款，

that specified they wouldn't reduce my pay

其明確指出他們不會減少我的收入，

within 12 months of giving birth.

只要我在 12 個月內分娩。

They said yes.

他們同意了。

But -- you knew there was going to be a "but", right?

但是——你們知道 永遠都有「但是」，對吧？

But it was only a yes for me.

但那個同意僅限於我。

They weren't ready to offer that same protection for all female athletes.

他們沒有準備要給予 所有女性運動員相同的保障，

They weren't ready to set the precedent.

他們還沒有準備要開創先例。

A couple of days later, my agent called me.

幾天之後，我的經紀人打電話給我。

Nike wanted to use me in a commercial for the Women's World Cup.

耐吉想要把我放在 女子足球世界盃的廣告上。

I couldn't believe it.

我難以置信。

Nike wanted to use me to tell women and girls

耐吉想要用我來告訴女人和女孩

that they could do anything,

她們可以辦到任何事，

even though the contract before me said the exact opposite.

即便這跟我面前的合約完全相反。

I knew what I had to do.

我知道我需要做什麼。

I knew I had to leave.

我知道我必須離開。

I knew I was afraid,

我知道我會害怕，

but I did it anyways.

但我還是做了。

I wrote an op-ed in "The New York Times"

我寫了一篇《紐約時報》專欄，

calling out Nike's maternity policy,

批評了耐吉的懷孕政策，

and I wasn't the only one.

而我不是唯一一人。

(Applause)

（掌聲）

My teammates and I, we helped turn the tide.

我的隊友和我幫忙扭轉了情勢。

Now, Nike offers eighteen months maternity protection

現在耐吉提供 18 個月的身孕保障，

and other sponsors --

而其他贊助商……

(Applause)

（掌聲）

And other sponsors like Altra, Nuun, Brooks and Burton,

而其他贊助商，例如 Altra 、 Nuun 、 Brooks 、 Burton ，

they came forward and they announced their new guarantees for female athletes

他們也往前邁進， 公布對女性運動員的新保障，

who start families while being sponsored.

讓她們在有家庭時仍能受到贊助。

Too late for me,

對我而言太遲了，

but amazing for the women coming up now.

但對現在出來的女性非常好。

I didn't resign with Nike, and I'm here to tell the tale.

我沒有與耐吉續約， 我在這裡陳述事情的始末。

But more than that,

但不只這樣，

I'm here to tell you that you can do it, too.

我在這裡還要告訴你們， 你們也做得到。

Once you find the courage to believe in yourself,

一旦你找到勇氣去相信自己、 自己的價值、自己的價值觀，

your own worth, your own values,

it gets easier.

事情就會變簡單。

It's when you take a stand

在你起身反抗時，

that you start to understand how to overcome that fear

你開始了解如何克服恐懼，

and how to make a change for yourself and sometimes for others.

如何為自己帶來改變， 有時也為了他人。

I went on to find a new sponsor

我去尋找新的贊助商，

in the female-led, female-focused Athleta,

找到了由女性領導、 專注於女性的阿仕利塔，

and they helped me --

他們幫助我……

(Applause)

（掌聲）

And they helped me challenge

他們幫助我挑戰

the International Olympic Committee's childcare policy.

國際奧林匹克委員會的育兒政策。

Together, we raised 200,000 dollars

我們一起募集了新臺幣 600 萬元

for female athletes to be able to afford childcare when they go to races.

讓女性運動員負擔得起 她們比賽時的育兒費用。

Because women have babies,

因為女性會有孩子，

and these children don't disappear when the races begin.

這些孩子不會在比賽開始時消失。

I made it back to the Olympics two years after giving birth.

我分娩後兩年回到了奧運，

I won a gold and a bronze.

我贏得一金一銅。

(Applause and cheers)

（掌聲）（歡呼聲）

And I became the most decorated American track and field athlete of all time.

我成了美國有史以來 最有成就的田徑運動員。

All while my daughter was watching.

我的女兒當時正看著這一切。

Audience: Aww.

觀眾：噢嗚——

AF: I was running for so much more than for medals

艾：我不僅僅為了獎牌 或在跑道上的時光而跑。

or for a time on the track.

I was running as a representation for women and for mothers

我跑是代表著女性和母親，

and for anybody who had been told that their story was over.

代表著任何被告知 他們的故事已經結束的人。

I remember crossing that line in Tokyo and having such a sense of fulfillment.

我記得在東京衝過終點線， 還有那種成就感。

I looked down at my feet

我低頭看向我的腳，

and for the first time in my entire career,

那是我整個生涯中第一次，

I wasn't wearing Adidas,

我沒穿愛迪達，

I wasn't wearing Nike.

我沒穿耐吉，

I was wearing Saysh,

我穿 Saysh ，

the women's footwear brand that I founded,

那是我創立的女性鞋類品牌，

designed for and by women,

為了女性、也由女性所設計，

when I was left without a footwear sponsor.

那時我沒有鞋類贊助商。

Because I was tired of not being valued or able to show up fully as myself.

因為我受夠了價值被看低 或無法完全展現自己。

I learned that my voice has power,

我發現我的發聲是有力量的，

and when I bet on myself, change is possible.

而且當我相信自己， 改變就是可行的。

During the pandemic,

在疫情期間，我們都看到

we all saw what happens when that thin line

職業和個人生活的界限 永久模糊後會發生什麼事。

between our professional and personal lives permanently blurs.

We have seen women step back, give up, drop out,

我們看到女性往後退、放棄、退出，

as having it all became doing it all,

擁有一切變成做盡一切努力，

and doing it all became impossible.

做盡一切努力變成不可能。

We have got to stop forcing people to choose between parenting

我們必須停止強迫人們 從親職和熱愛的工作中做選擇。

and doing the work that they love.

And we've got to stop pretending that we're not making those decisions

我們不能再假裝 我們不用做那些決定，

because the results affect us all.

因為其結果會影響我們所有人。

Not just women, but men and our children, too.

不只是女性，也包含男性， 還有我們的孩子。

By creating the environment that we all live, work,

創造一個環境，

讓我們都能在其中生活、工作、 愛護和養育我們的家庭。

love and raise our families in.

Isn't it past time that we call out the hypocrisy

我們不是早該抨擊偽善，

and create a new normal?

建立新常態嗎？

One with real generosity, humanity and truth at the center,

這個新常態的中心應該有 真正的慷慨、仁慈、真實，

not some misplaced sense of what business is or does.

而不是不該在這裡的商業想法。

We should say what we will tolerate.

我們應該說出我們能接受什麼。

And as we all recover from the pandemic that has flattened us,

當我們從摧殘我們的疫情中恢復時，

let's just not rebuild the same version of the broken system that we had before.

我們不要只是重建之前失靈的系統，

But let's learn and create something new.

而是學習、創造新的東西。

Each one of us has a role to play.

我們每一人都有自己的角色。

And you don’t have to be an Olympian

你不必是一位奧運運動員，

to create change for yourself or for others.

也能為自己或他人創造改變。

Everyone in this room can bet on themselves.

所有在這個會場的人都能相信自己。

It will typically happen in moments of fear

恐懼時，你時常看不清前方的道路。

when you don't see the path forward.

In my own experience, it was a terrifying decision,

以我自身的經驗， 這是一個令人害怕的決定，

but that will be your first clue.

但這會是你們的第一個提示：

That feeling of being terrified is your invitation to create change.

恐懼的感受是在邀請你去創造改變。

You have to acknowledge those feelings,

你們必須承認那些感受，

you have to brave them, and you have to fight to move forward.

你們必須勇敢面對， 你們必須為往前邁進而奮鬥。

It won't be easy.

這不簡單。

You will be afraid.

你們會害怕，

Your voice will shake.

你們的聲音會顫抖。

But what I can absolutely promise you

但我絕對可以給你們掛保證，

is that it will be worth it.

它一定會值得。

Thank you.

謝謝你們。

(Applause)

（掌聲）