To overcome challenges, stop comparing yourself to others | Dean Furness

Transcriber: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Joanna Pietrulewicz

譯者: Marssi Draw 審譯者: Amanda Chu

It seems we have been measured almost all of our lives,

我們一輩子好像都會被量東量西，

when we are infants, with our height and our weight,

嬰兒時期要量身高體重，

and as we grew it became our speed and our strength.

長大一點要量速度和力氣。

And even in school there are test scores

甚至在學校也要用考試成績衡量，

and today with our salaries and job performance.

現在就用薪水和工作表現。

It seems as if those personal averages are almost always used

那些個人的平均水準

似乎老是用來衡量 我們在同儕中的排名。

to measure where we are in comparison to our peers.

And I think we should look at that a little differently.

我想我們應該用不同的方式 來看待這件事。

個人水準是很個人的東西，

That personal average is just that, it's something very personal

專屬於你，

and it's for you,

我認為如果你專注努力打造這個部分，

and I think if you focus on that and work to build that,

就能開始完成一些真的非常棒的事情。

you can really start to accomplish some really amazing things.

This idea started for me on a December evening in 2011.

我開始有這個想法 是在 2011 年 12 月的某個傍晚。

I had just stepped outside to do our evening chores

我才剛踏出家門，

一如往常要去餵我們的馬。

to feed our horses.

I hopped into our tractor,

我跳上拖拉機，

and a few minutes later,

沒幾分鐘，

a five foot tall, 700-pound bale of hay fell from the loader,

一捆一米五高、三百多公斤重的 稻草從裝載機上掉下來，

crushing me in the seat of the tractor

把我重壓在曳引機座位上，

and in the process shattering my T5 and T6 vertebrae.

壓碎我的第五、六節胸椎。

I didn't lose consciousness,

我沒有失去意識，

but I felt this buzz throughout my body, and I knew what had happened right away.

但感覺全身陣痛， 我馬上意識到剛發生的事。

My hands were reaching for my legs,

我伸手去摸腿，

但我的腿感覺不到觸摸。

but my legs didn't recognize anything touching them.

And in fact, I couldn't feel anything from the center of my chest down.

其實我胸部以下都沒有感覺。

So there I was, about 100 feet from the house,

所以我在離家不到三十公尺的地方，

with my arms wrapped around the steering the wheel,

用兩隻手臂環抱住方向盤，

trying to hold myself up, waiting for help.

試圖把自己拉起來，等待救援。

And unlike what you see in TV and the movies,

不像各位在電視或電影上看到的那樣，

as much as I tried to get the dogs to go to the house and get help --

儘管我一直叫狗回家求援，

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

they just stared at me.

結果牠們只是盯著我看。

Well, 45 minutes later, my wife came home,

45 分鐘後，我老婆回到家，

and I heard her step out of the house

我聽到她走出來，

and, like, normal, if I needed help, "Hey, do you need help?"

像以往一樣問我：「嘿！要幫忙嗎？」

我說：「要。」

And I said, "Yes."

And there was a brief pause and then I heard her yell,

幾秒鐘後我聽到她喊：

"Do you need 9/11 help?"

「要幫忙叫救護車嗎？」

我回喊：「要。」

And again I yelled, "Yes."

Well, not long after I was enjoying my very first helicopter ride

沒多久之後我就享受人生中 首趟直升機之旅，

all the way to the hospital.

直飛醫院。

Now, the injury wasn't very dramatic or graphic.

外表上傷勢沒有很嚇人， 也沒有血肉模糊。

I simply broke a bone or two.

只是斷了一兩根骨頭。

And in the process, I was told I'd probably never walk again.

過程中醫生說我八成不能再走路了。

It became very normal for me to use a rope to sit up in bed,

我開始習慣用繩子在床上坐起來，

because my abdominal muscles no longer work.

因為我的腹肌失能了。

Or to use a board to slide out of bed into a wheelchair,

我還要習慣用板子滑下床坐進輪椅，

or to even wait for people to reach things for me.

甚至還要習慣等人拿東西給我。

Everything that I had learned and had known about my height

以前我對自己身體的了解，

像是身高、力氣、平衡感、靈活度，

and my strength and my balance and my mobility was blown away.

都成過往雲煙。

My entire personal average had been reset.

我的個人水平已經重置了。

Now you could be sure in those days I was being measured more than ever,

可想而知，那段時間 是我這輩子最常被衡量的時期，

by the doctors and nurses for sure

當然醫生、護理師會量，

but maybe more so in my own mind,

但也許更多是我在心裡衡量，

and I found myself comparing

我發現自己在比較

what I thought I was going to be able to do going forward

未來可能可以做到哪些，

和曾經可以做到哪些。

with what I once was able to do.

And I became pretty frustrated.

我變得很絕望。

It took some very consistent prodding from my wife, who kept saying,

我太太不斷激勵我，一直說：

"Get your eyes up," before I could get moving forward.

「擡頭向前看，」 直到我開始向前邁進。

我很快了解到，我幾乎 得忘了自己過去是怎樣的人，

And I soon realized that I almost had to forget about the person I was before

and the things I was able to do before.

還有我以前能夠做到的事。

I almost had to pretend it was never me.

我幾乎得假裝過去的我不是我。

And I'm afraid if I had not made that realization,

如果我沒有那個覺悟，

我的挫折恐怕會轉化成 更加難以復原的東西。

my frustration would have turned into something much harder to recover from.

Now, luckily, a few weeks later,

還好過了幾個星期之後，

I was transferred to a specialty spinal cord rehab hospital

我被轉到脊隨損傷的專科復健醫院，

about 10 hours from home, and wouldn't you know,

離我家大概十小時。

你們猜怎麼著？

the first day of rehab and the first session

第一天第一個復健課程

we had something called fit class,

叫健身課，

and a group of us broke into teams

我們一群人分成幾組，

to see which team could do the most reps in the weight machine.

看哪一組可以在重訓機上做最多下。

Now, we've all been there, haven't been to the gym in a year or two.

大家都有過一兩年沒上健身房，

Neither had I.

我也是。

And so what do you do?

那怎麼辦？

You try to do what you did a couple of years ago,

就照著幾年前的方式做。

做幾組訓練，

and you do a couple of sets.

And then what do you do? A couple more.

然後呢？再多做幾組。

And you're feeling even better, so you do more.

你感覺更好了，所以再多做幾組。

And the next two weeks you complain to your family about how sore you are.

之後兩個星期你都在 跟家人抱怨肌肉有多痠痛。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

我們這組全力以赴，遙遙領先，

Well, my team went all out and we won, we won big,

and for the next three days I could not straighten my arms,

接下來三天我手都伸不直，

which isn't that big a deal except when you're in a wheelchair

這沒什麼，問題是如果你坐輪椅，

得要靠手才能行動。

and that's really what you have to use to get around.

And that proved to be a very important lesson for me.

這件事對我來說是很重要的教訓。

It was one thing that I couldn't compare myself to myself,

我當然沒辦法跟過去的自己比，

but even around people in the same situation in that hospital,

但即使和那些在醫院 同樣情況的人相比，

I found that I couldn't try to keep pace or set pace with them as well,

我也覺得自己跟不上他們的速度，

and I was left with really only one choice

我別無選擇，

and that was to focus on who I was at that point in time

只能專注在那個當下的自己，

以及我的目標、 回到我原來該有的狀態。

with where I needed to go and to get back to who I needed to be.

For the next six weeks, for seven to eight hours a day,

接下來六週，每天七八小時，

that's what I did.

我就做這件事。

I built little by little,

每天一點一點建立起來，

and, as you might expect,

如你們所料，

when you're recovering from a spinal cord injury,

脊髓損傷復健的過程中

you're going to have a bad day.

總會有不太順的日子。

可能還會連續好幾天不順。

You might have a few in a row.

What I found out is that good and bad really didn't have a lot of meaning

我發現好壞其實沒什麼意義，

unless I had the context of knowing what my average was.

除非我意識到 自己先前的水準在哪裡。

It was really up to me to decide if something was bad or good

事情是好是壞其實由我決定，

based on where I was at that point in time,

靠的是我在當下 那個時間點的狀態，

and it was in my control to determine if it really was a bad day.

今天到底是好是壞全由我決定。

In fact, it was my decision on whether or not I could stop

其實能不能終結連續幾天的不順，

都是看我自己要不要。

a streak of bad days.

And what I found during that time away from home

我發現離家的那段時間，

is I never had a bad day, even with everything going on.

我沒有一天不順， 即使日子是那樣過。

There were parts of my day that were certainly not as pleasant

整天下來會有些不太高興的時刻，

as they could be,

但絕對不會整天都很差。

but it was never an entirely bad day.

So I'm guessing that all of you have been through a meeting

我猜大家都開過一種會，

過程不太順利，

that probably didn't go very well,

or a commute that wasn't as great as you would like it,

或是通勤路上不太愉快，

or even burned dinner at night.

也可能你把晚餐煮到燒焦了。

Did those things really ruin your entire day?

那些事真的壞了你一整天的心情嗎？

What I found in those scenarios is the quicker you move on to what's next,

我發現碰到那種情況， 只要越快做下一件事，

the quicker you can start attacking things.

就能越快開始處理事情。

And by moving on to next as fast as possible,

透過儘快去做下一件事，

you shrink the time you spend in those bad scenarios

你就能縮短花在那些不好情況的時間，

and it gives more time for the good.

就能把時間留給好的部分。

And, as a result, the good outweighs the bad,

結果好的時間多於不好的時間，

your average increases and that's just how the math works.

你的水平提高了， 用數學算一下就知道。

It didn't matter to me if I'd spent the morning

我是不是早上

really struggling with my medication,

吃藥的過程不太順。

or at lunch my legs being very spastic,

午餐時腿是不是一直抽筋，

or even if I had fallen out of my wheelchair.

甚至還掉下輪椅， 對我來說都不重要。

Ask my wife. It happens quite often.

可以問我老婆，這些事很常發生。

她在現場。

She's here.

They were just small parts of my day and small parts of my average.

這只是我一天之中的一小部分， 我個人平均裡的一小部分。

And so, in the months and years that followed,

在接下來的幾個月、幾個年頭，

I continued to try to attack things in that way,

我繼續用這種方式來做事情，

and before I knew it I was being presented with some pretty incredible challenges,

轉眼間，我已經在挑戰 一些不可能的任務，

like completing a marathon in a wheelchair.

像是坐輪椅跑馬拉松完賽。

In early 2016, I met my physical therapist,

我在 2016 年初 認識我的物理治療師，

and after a few really grueling sessions, she must have sensed something,

經過幾次真的很操的練習之後， 他八成察覺到什麼，

because she pulled me aside and said, "You know, you should do a half marathon.

因為他把我拉到旁邊說， 「你知道嗎？你應該跑半馬，

In your wheelchair. And, oh yeah, it's in 10 weeks."

就坐在你的輪椅上跑。 喔對啊，只剩十週。」

And I thought in my mind, "You're crazy." I didn't have a workout plan.

我心想，「你瘋了。」 我沒有訓練計畫。

I didn't have any way of knowing how fast I needed to go

我完全不知道我應該「跑」多快，

or how far I was supposed to go.

或應該「跑」多遠。

But I simply got to work,

但我就是得做，

and I started tracking every workout, every day,

我開始每天記錄每次訓練，

and I simply wanted to be as good as or as fast as I was the prior day.

我只想跟前一天一樣好、一樣快。

And in the end I really created that average for myself

最後我真的為自己建立了基準，

and I tried to build on that as much as I could.

我竭盡所能再往上努力。

Well, I finished that race right in time with what my average should have been,

我完成比賽的時間剛好達到那個水準，

and somewhere along the way

不知道從什麼時候開始，

I kind of closed the door on who I once was.

我不再去看過去的我是誰。

That person who I was before

過去的我，

and all those things I thought I was able to do really didn't matter.

還有我以為可以做的那些事 真的都不重要了。

其實能不能再走路也不重要了。

In fact, walking again really didn't matter.

It became much less of a goal for me in terms of where I was going to go.

從我要努力的方向來看， 走路對我來說不太像是目標了。

And besides, like, you guys are so slow when you walk.

再說，你們這些人走得實在很慢。

In crowds like this, it is so difficult.

在人群裡有夠麻煩，

I'm like, "Get out of the way. We're going places."

我會想：「讓開，我們要贏了！」

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And all I wanted to do was go fast.

我一心只想快一點。

And so I did what I thought I should do.

所以我做了我認為該做的事，

I started researching wheelchair racing.

我開始研究輪椅競速 。

And I went online and I found the best of the best,

我上網找出最厲害的強者，

學習他們的技巧、了解他們的設備，

I learned their technique, I learned about the equipment,

and I was lucky to have a coach that offered me a way to get started.

很幸運我有教練幫我開始準備。

And after talking with him

我和他談過之後，

and having him help me get those things underway,

讓他幫我開始打點那些事，

as I was leaving, he says, "You know, you should do the 2017 Chicago Marathon."

我要離開前，他說：

「你應該參加 2017 芝加哥馬拉松賽。」

And he's the coach, I can't tell him no.

他是教練，我不能對他說不。

So with that guidance, I went back home, and I got to work,

我帶著他的指示回家，開始準備，

much like in the prior way.

就像之前那樣。

And I continued researching, but I had learned my lesson.

我繼續研究，謹記之前學到的教訓。

I was really careful not to compare

我很小心，不要拿自己和別人比較，

with how accomplished those people on the internet were

跟網路上那些人比強、比快，

and how fast they were,

because if I had, I probably never would have continued

因為跟他們比，

我大概就永遠不會堅持下去。

going through with it.

Well, the weekend of the race arrived,

到了比賽的那個週末，

and it was just like going to college for the first time.

感覺就像第一天上大學。

You're dumped off,

你被送到學校，

there's a whole bunch of people around you,

一大堆人在你旁邊，

你認識沒幾個人，

you don't really know very many of them,

somebody's got the cool stereo and the cool TV

有人有很酷的音響和電視，

and they're smart and they're pretty and they're cute and they're handsome

他們聰明、漂亮、可愛、帥氣，

你不知道自己是不是真的夠格在那。

and you don't know if you really belong.

但是有人說：「嘿！來去吃飯。」

But then somebody says, "Hey, let's go get food."

And all of a sudden, that friend group happens

突然之間你有了朋友圈，

and you start to settle in.

然後你開始安頓下來。

Well, that weekend of the race,

比賽的那個週末，

we had a meeting called the Wheelers Meeting,

我們有一個叫「輪友會」的見面會，

and there were 60 wheelchairs in that room the night before the race.

比賽前一晚大概有 60 張輪椅在那間會議室裡，

And wouldn't you know it,

你們猜怎麼著？

all of the people that I had been researching were there,

所有我之前研究過的人都在那，

the best in the world.

世界上最強的那些人。

There must have been over 50 Paralympic medals in the room that day.

現場那些人得過的帕奧獎牌 加起來絕對超過 50 面。

And I felt pretty small and I fell back into that trap of comparing myself.

我覺得自己很渺小， 又落入和別人比較的陷阱。

I knew that my averages that I had been tracking during my workouts

我知道我平常訓練的水準

were over 90 seconds slower per mile than theirs.

每公里比他們慢超過 55 秒。

And the coach was the only one there that I knew,

教練是我在場唯一認識的人，

and he reached out and noticed something, and I think he sensed my anxiety,

他靠過來注意到不對勁， 我猜他發現我很焦慮，

and he invited me to get food with his team.

就邀請我和他的隊伍一起吃東西。

And with that, everything settled down.

這個舉動讓一切都安頓下來。

I realized really quick that they didn't care about my average, surely,

我馬上發現他們根本不在乎我的水準，

and I had forgotten about theirs.

我也忘了他們的。

Well that next day,

隔天我比第一名 晚了大概 45 分鐘完賽。

I finished the race about 45 minutes after the person that won it.

我準備要離開，那些當年才剛認識， 現在很親近的好朋友，

But as I was leaving, those new friends, who are very close today,

challenged me to stay involved

要我保持下去，

and to keep working through different races and competitions.

繼續參加不同比賽。

And so I did what I knew how. I went home, and I got busy.

我做了該做的事，回家開始忙。

Now, as you can imagine, being in a wheelchair,

你們可以想像，

光是坐在輪椅上就是相當寂寞的事，

let alone training for a marathon in a wheelchair,

更不用說是在輪椅上訓練馬拉松。

is a pretty lonely thing.

我有一群很棒的朋友會騎單車陪我，

I have an incredible group of friends

that will ride bikes with me and keep track of pace and help me out.

記錄我的配速、提供協助。

But in the end, it's still five to six days a week,

但最後，每個星期還是有五六天，

it's 50 to 60 miles of effort, and it's a lot of alone time.

大概八九十公里路程，

孤單的時間還是很多。

And for the most part,

大多數時間，

you really have nothing to rely on but yourself in those times.

真的除了自己沒有其他人可以靠。

It's my average, and I'm trying to get better little by little.

那是我的水準，我試著每天進步一點。

Well, this fall I was in Chicago for the third time.

今年秋天我參加第三次芝加哥賽，

那是我第七次參加馬拉松，

It was my seventh marathon,

and just like going back to college for your junior year,

就像大三回學校，

you're anticipating catching up with friends

你會很期待和朋友敘舊，

and getting excited about rolling right back into things.

很興奮回來做這些事，

Well, I attended the same pre-race meeting and the same pre-race meal

我一樣參加賽前會議和聚餐，

and caught up with those friends.

和那些朋友聊聊近況。

And we lined up for the race,

開賽前我們排成一排預備，

and right at the start, my average kicked in,

一開始我的水準發威，

and before long I caught up with some of those friends

很快我就追上幾個朋友，

and was able to keep pace with them and push together.

能夠和他們同速前進。

But it wasn't long before I faded.

但不久之後我就變慢了。

It just happened, and I found myself all alone again

我發現自己就這樣 又變成孤單一個人，

with really nothing to rely on other than what I had worked so hard to be at.

我能仰賴的只有 自己過往拼命的努力。

But we turned into the wind at the halfway point,

但我們在半路上碰到順風，

我的水準就變成很強的優勢，

and my average became a strong advantage,

不久後我又追上幾個朋友，

and it wasn't long before I caught some of those friends

一直到最後都領先他們。

and passed them all the way to the finish.

那天我雖然沒有打破個人最佳紀錄，

And while I didn't set a personal record that day,

我的成績比前幾次芝加哥賽 每公里快 19 秒，

I did finish 30 seconds per mile faster than my prior Chicago times

and just left myself pretty excited.

讓我很興奮。

And so this is me. This is my average.

這就是我，這就是我的水準。

Seventy-five days from today, I'll be in Boston for my second time.

再過 75 天，我會 在波士頓第二次參賽。

I'm super excited about that.

我超興奮。

But keep in mind, this isn't really just about racing.

但要記得，這不只是競賽。

I'm working really hard every day to be better in so many other ways,

我真的每天都很努力 在其他很多方面讓自己更好，

a better parent, a better husband, a better coach, teammate, friend, person.

成為更好的父親、丈夫、 教練、隊員、朋友、人類。

And I promise you, even though what you see here is very visible

我向各位保證，即使在這裡 我要面對的挑戰看起來很明顯，

in terms of the challenges that I face,

everybody here has something that they're fighting,

在場的每個人也有各自要挑戰的事，

and it may be visible, it may not be,

可能顯而易見，也可能看不見，

but please, take some time and focus on you instead of others,

但請花點時間專注在自己 而非別人身上，

and I bet you can win those challenges

我打賭你可以戰勝那些挑戰，

and really start accomplishing so many great things.

真的開始去完成很多了不起的事。

Thank you.

謝謝。

(Applause)

（掌聲）