To overcome challenges, stop comparing yourself to others | Dean Furness

Transcriber: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Joanna Pietrulewicz

Translator: Sophia Budiman Reviewer: Made Pramana

It seems we have been measured almost all of our lives,

Tampaknya kita selalu diukur sepanjang hidup kita,

when we are infants, with our height and our weight,

ketika kita bayi, dengan tinggi dan berat badan,

and as we grew it became our speed and our strength.

saat kita bertumbuh, itu menjadi kecepatan dan kekuatan kita.

And even in school there are test scores

Bahkan di sekolah ada nilai ujian

and today with our salaries and job performance.

dan saat ini dengan gaji dan prestasi kerja.

It seems as if those personal averages are almost always used

Tampaknya rata-rata pribadi nyaris selalu menjadi

to measure where we are in comparison to our peers.

pengukur posisi kita dibandingkan dengan rekan kita.

And I think we should look at that a little differently.

Saya pikir kita harus melihatnya dengan agak berbeda.

That personal average is just that, it's something very personal

Rata-rata pribadi sebenarnya adalah sesuatu yang amat personal,

and it's for you,

ukuran untuk Anda saja,

and I think if you focus on that and work to build that,

dan saya rasa jika Anda fokus membangun rata-rata pribadi,

you can really start to accomplish some really amazing things.

Anda sesungguhnya bisa mulai mencapai hal-hal yang luar biasa.

This idea started for me on a December evening in 2011.

Gagasan ini terjadi pada saya di suatu sore bulan Desember 2011.

I had just stepped outside to do our evening chores

Saya baru saja keluar untuk melakukan tugas sore,

to feed our horses.

yaitu memberi makan kuda.

I hopped into our tractor,

Saya mengendarai traktor,

dan beberapa menit kemudian,

and a few minutes later,

a five foot tall, 700-pound bale of hay fell from the loader,

setumpuk jerami setinggi 1,5 meter seberat 350 kilogram jatuh dari pemuat,

crushing me in the seat of the tractor

menimpa saya di kursi traktor

and in the process shattering my T5 and T6 vertebrae.

dan menghancurkan tulang punggung T5 dan T6 saya.

I didn't lose consciousness,

Saya tidak kehilangan kesadaran,

but I felt this buzz throughout my body, and I knew what had happened right away.

namun ada dengungan dalam tubuh saya, dan saya langsung tahu apa yang terjadi.

My hands were reaching for my legs,

Tangan saya meraih kaki,

but my legs didn't recognize anything touching them.

namun kaki saya tidak lagi merasakan sentuhan apapun.

And in fact, I couldn't feel anything from the center of my chest down.

Bahkan, saya tak dapat merasakan apapun dari dada hingga ke bawah.

So there I was, about 100 feet from the house,

Jadi di sanalah saya, sekitar 30 meter dari rumah,

with my arms wrapped around the steering the wheel,

dengan tangan memeluk roda kemudi,

trying to hold myself up, waiting for help.

berusaha tegak, menantikan bantuan.

And unlike what you see in TV and the movies,

Dan tak seperti adegan perfilman,

as much as I tried to get the dogs to go to the house and get help --

sekeras apapun usaha saya membuat anjing saya ke rumah untuk meminta bantuan --

(Laughter)

(Tawa)

they just stared at me.

mereka hanya memandangi saya.

Well, 45 minutes later, my wife came home,

45 menit kemudian, istri saya pulang,

and I heard her step out of the house

dan saya mendengar langkahnya keluar dari rumah

and, like, normal, if I needed help, "Hey, do you need help?"

dan, seperti biasa, dia menawarkan, "Hey, kau perlu bantuan?"

And I said, "Yes."

Dan saya berkata, "Ya."

And there was a brief pause and then I heard her yell,

Lalu ada jeda sejenak, dan saya mendengar teriakannya,

"Do you need 9/11 help?"

"Kau perlu bantuan 9/11?"

And again I yelled, "Yes."

Dan lagi saya berseru, "Ya."

Well, not long after I was enjoying my very first helicopter ride

Tak lama kemudian, saya menikmati perjalanan pertama saya dengan helikopter

all the way to the hospital.

menuju ke rumah sakit.

Now, the injury wasn't very dramatic or graphic.

Cedera saya tidak terlalu dramatis atau mengerikan.

I simply broke a bone or two.

Saya hanya mengalami patah di satu atau dua tulang.

And in the process, I was told I'd probably never walk again.

Dan karena itu, saya dibilang bahwa saya mungkin tak bisa berjalan lagi.

Akhirnya, menjadi hal biasa bagi saya memakai tali untuk duduk di kasur,

It became very normal for me to use a rope to sit up in bed,

because my abdominal muscles no longer work.

karena otot perut saya tak bekerja lagi.

Or to use a board to slide out of bed into a wheelchair,

Atau memakai papan untuk berpindah dari kasur ke kursi roda,

or to even wait for people to reach things for me.

atau menunggu orang mengambilkan barang untuk saya.

Everything that I had learned and had known about my height

Segala hal yang telah saya pelajari dan ketahui tentang tinggi badan saya

and my strength and my balance and my mobility was blown away.

beserta kekuatan, keseimbangan dan mobilitas saya, menjadi musnah.

My entire personal average had been reset.

Seluruh rata-rata pribadi saya telah diatur ulang.

Now you could be sure in those days I was being measured more than ever,

Selama masa itu saya diukur paling banyak seumur hidup saya,

by the doctors and nurses for sure

oleh pada dokter dan suster tentunya,

but maybe more so in my own mind,

namun lebih banyak lagi oleh pikiran saya,

and I found myself comparing

dan saya mendapati diri saya membandingkan

what I thought I was going to be able to do going forward

hal yang saya kira bisa dilakukan di masa mendatang

with what I once was able to do.

dengan hal yang dulu bisa saya lakukan.

And I became pretty frustrated.

Lalu saya menjadi cukup frustrasi.

It took some very consistent prodding from my wife, who kept saying,

Butuh desakan terus-menerus dari istri saya, yang selalu berkata,

"Get your eyes up," before I could get moving forward.

"Berpandangan luaslah," sebelum akhirnya saya mampu maju.

And I soon realized that I almost had to forget about the person I was before

Saya segera sadar bahwa saya perlu melupakan diri saya yang sebelumnya

and the things I was able to do before.

dan hal-hal yang dahulu bisa saya lakukan.

I almost had to pretend it was never me.

Saya nyaris berpura-pura yang dulu itu bukan saya.

And I'm afraid if I had not made that realization,

Dan saya takut andaikan saya tak menyadari hal ini,

my frustration would have turned into something much harder to recover from.

rasa frustrasi saya akan jauh lebih sulit untuk diatasi.

Now, luckily, a few weeks later,

Untungnya, beberapa minggu kemudian,

I was transferred to a specialty spinal cord rehab hospital

saya pindah ke rumah sakit khusus rehabilitasi tulang punggung

about 10 hours from home, and wouldn't you know,

berjarak 10 jam dari rumah, dan tahukah Anda,

the first day of rehab and the first session

pada hari dan sesi pertama rehabilitasi

we had something called fit class,

kami menjalani kelas bugar,

and a group of us broke into teams

dan kami dibagi dalam tim

to see which team could do the most reps in the weight machine.

untuk melihat tim mana yang melakukan repetisi terbanyak di mesin beban.

Now, we've all been there, haven't been to the gym in a year or two.

Kita semua pernah tak berolahraga selama satu atau dua tahun.

Neither had I.

Begitu pula saya saat itu.

And so what do you do?

Jadi bagaimana?

You try to do what you did a couple of years ago,

Anda mencoba berolahraga seperti dahulu,

and you do a couple of sets.

dan melakukan beberapa set.

And then what do you do? A couple more.

Lalu? Melakukan beberapa set lagi.

And you're feeling even better, so you do more.

Dan jika Anda bersemangat, Anda melakukannya lagi.

And the next two weeks you complain to your family about how sore you are.

Kemudian selama dua minggu Anda mengeluh nyeri otot kepada keluarga Anda.

(Laughter)

(Tawa)

Well, my team went all out and we won, we won big,

Tim saya berusaha maksimal dan menang telak,

and for the next three days I could not straighten my arms,

dan tiga hari berikutnya, saya tak bisa meluruskan lengan,

which isn't that big a deal except when you're in a wheelchair

yang mungkin tak terlalu berarti, kecuali jika Anda memakai kursi roda

and that's really what you have to use to get around.

sebab perlu memakai lengan untuk bergerak.

And that proved to be a very important lesson for me.

Itu menjadi pelajaran penting bagi saya.

It was one thing that I couldn't compare myself to myself,

Bahwa saya tak bisa membandingkan diri saya kini dengan yang dulu,

but even around people in the same situation in that hospital,

namun bahkan di antara rekan sepenanggungan di rumah sakit,

I found that I couldn't try to keep pace or set pace with them as well,

ternyata saya pun tak bisa mengejar agar sama dengan mereka,

and I was left with really only one choice

dan hanya ada satu pilihan saja bagi saya,

and that was to focus on who I was at that point in time

yaitu berfokus pada siapa diri saya pada saat itu,

with where I needed to go and to get back to who I needed to be.

dan pada apa yang perlu saya lakukan agar bisa menjadi pribadi yang seharusnya.

For the next six weeks, for seven to eight hours a day,

Enam minggu berikutnya, selama tujuh hingga delapan jam sehari,

that's what I did.

itulah yang saya lakukan.

I built little by little,

Saya membangun sedikit demi sedikit,

and, as you might expect,

dan, bisa ditebak,

when you're recovering from a spinal cord injury,

saat dalam proses penyembuhan cedera tulang belakang,

you're going to have a bad day.

Anda akan mengalami hari yang buruk.

You might have a few in a row.

Bahkan beberapa hari sekaligus.

What I found out is that good and bad really didn't have a lot of meaning

Saya menemukan bahwa baik dan buruk tak memiliki banyak arti

unless I had the context of knowing what my average was.

kecuali saya punya konteks mengetahui seberapa rata-rata saya.

It was really up to me to decide if something was bad or good

Sebenarnya saya yang memutuskan apakah sesuatu itu buruk atau baik

based on where I was at that point in time,

berdasarkan posisi saya pada waktu itu,

and it was in my control to determine if it really was a bad day.

dan saya yang berkuasa menetapkan apakah sebuah hari dianggap buruk.

In fact, it was my decision on whether or not I could stop

Faktanya, keputusan saya yang menjadi penentu dalam memutus

a streak of bad days.

serangkaian hari yang buruk.

And what I found during that time away from home

Saya menyadari ketika saya jauh dari rumah saat itu

is I never had a bad day, even with everything going on.

bahwa saya sebetulnya tidak pernah punya hari yang buruk, apapun yang terjadi.

There were parts of my day that were certainly not as pleasant

Ada bagian dari hari-hari saya yang tentu

as they could be,

bisa lebih menggembirakan,

namun tak pernah dalam satu hari semuanya buruk.

but it was never an entirely bad day.

So I'm guessing that all of you have been through a meeting

Saya rasa, Anda semua pernah hadir dalam pertemuan

that probably didn't go very well,

yang tidak berjalan dengan baik,

or a commute that wasn't as great as you would like it,

atau perjalanan pulang kerja yang tak sebaik harapan Anda,

or even burned dinner at night.

atau makan malam yang gosong.

Did those things really ruin your entire day?

Apa semua itu sungguh merusak seluruh hari Anda?

What I found in those scenarios is the quicker you move on to what's next,

Dalam skenario itu saya sadar, makin cepat Anda bergerak ke hal selanjutnya,

the quicker you can start attacking things.

makin cepat pula Anda bangkit untuk hal lain.

And by moving on to next as fast as possible,

Dan dengan berpindah ke hal selanjutnya secepat mungkin,

you shrink the time you spend in those bad scenarios

Anda mempersingkat masa yang Anda habiskan dalam skenario buruk itu,

sehingga ada lebih banyak waktu untuk hal baik.

and it gives more time for the good.

And, as a result, the good outweighs the bad,

Hasilnya, hal baik lebih banyak dari yang buruk,

your average increases and that's just how the math works.

rata-rata Anda jadi meningkat, dan itulah cara mengatasinya.

It didn't matter to me if I'd spent the morning

Tidak masalah jika saya menghabiskan pagi hari

really struggling with my medication,

bergumul dengan pengobatan saya,

or at lunch my legs being very spastic,

atau ketika makan siang kaki saya sangat kaku,

or even if I had fallen out of my wheelchair.

atau bahkan saat saya terjatuh dari kursi roda saya.

Ask my wife. It happens quite often.

Tanya saja istri saya. Hal itu sering terjadi.

She's here.

Dia di sini.

They were just small parts of my day and small parts of my average.

Semua itu hanyalah bagian kecil dari hari saya dan bagian kecil dari rata-rata saya.

And so, in the months and years that followed,

Jadi pada bulan dan tahun selanjutnya,

I continued to try to attack things in that way,

saya terus menjalani hari saya dengan cara ini,

and before I knew it I was being presented with some pretty incredible challenges,

dan tanpa disadari saya telah menghadapi banyak tantangan luar biasa,

like completing a marathon in a wheelchair.

salah satunya menyelesaikan maraton dengan kursi roda.

In early 2016, I met my physical therapist,

Awal 2016, saya bertemu terapis fisik saya,

and after a few really grueling sessions, she must have sensed something,

Dan setelah beberapa sesi yang sangat melelahkan, dia menyadari sesuatu,

because she pulled me aside and said, "You know, you should do a half marathon.

dan dia berkata, "Kurasa kamu perlu mencoba ikut lomba maraton separuh.

In your wheelchair. And, oh yeah, it's in 10 weeks."

Menggunakan kursi roda. Oh iya, maratonnya 10 minggu lagi."

And I thought in my mind, "You're crazy." I didn't have a workout plan.

Saya berpikir, "Kamu gila." Saya belum punya rencana latihan.

I didn't have any way of knowing how fast I needed to go

Saya tidak mengetahui seberapa cepat saya perlu bergerak

or how far I was supposed to go.

atau seberapa jauh jarak yang harus ditempuh.

But I simply got to work,

Namun, saya tetap berlatih,

and I started tracking every workout, every day,

dan saya mulai mencatat latihan saya tiap hari,

and I simply wanted to be as good as or as fast as I was the prior day.

saya hanya mencoba menjadi sebaik atau secepat hari sebelumnya.

And in the end I really created that average for myself

Akhirnya, saya membuat sebuah rata-rata bagi diri saya

and I tried to build on that as much as I could.

dan mencoba membangun diri mulai dari sana semampu saya.

Well, I finished that race right in time with what my average should have been,

Saya menempuh perlombaan itu tepat seperti waktu rata-rata saya,

and somewhere along the way

dan selama perlombaan itu

I kind of closed the door on who I once was.

saya seperti menutup pintu tentang diri saya yang sebelumnya.

That person who I was before

Diri saya yang dahulu

and all those things I thought I was able to do really didn't matter.

dan semua hal yang saya kira bisa saya lakukan, kini tak berarti.

In fact, walking again really didn't matter.

Bahkan, tak terlalu penting apakah saya bisa berjalan lagi.

It became much less of a goal for me in terms of where I was going to go.

Tujuan saya bukan itu saat menyadari perjalanan hidup saya kini.

And besides, like, you guys are so slow when you walk.

Malahan, kalian berjalan kaki dengan lambat sekali.

In crowds like this, it is so difficult.

Dalam kerumunan maraton, itu jadi menyulitkan.

I'm like, "Get out of the way. We're going places."

Saya seperti, "Minggirlah. Ayo kita berjuang."

(Laughter)

(Tawa)

And all I wanted to do was go fast.

Dan saya hanya ingin bergerak cepat.

And so I did what I thought I should do.

Maka saya lakukan apa yang saya pikir perlu.

I started researching wheelchair racing.

Saya mulai meneliti balap kursi roda.

And I went online and I found the best of the best,

Saya mencari online dan menemukan orang-orang terbaik.

I learned their technique, I learned about the equipment,

Saya mempelajari teknik dan peralatan mereka,

and I was lucky to have a coach that offered me a way to get started.

dan saya beruntung bisa mendapat pelatih yang mengajari cara memulainya.

And after talking with him

Setelah saya berbicara padanya

and having him help me get those things underway,

dan dibantu mendapatkan hal-hal yang saya butuhkan,

as I was leaving, he says, "You know, you should do the 2017 Chicago Marathon."

saat hampir pergi, ia berkata, "Kurasa kamu perlu ikut Maraton Chicago 2017."

And he's the coach, I can't tell him no.

Dia pelatih saya, saya tidak bisa menolak.

So with that guidance, I went back home, and I got to work,

Jadi dengan panduannya, saya pulang dan mulai berlatih,

much like in the prior way.

mirip dengan cara sebelumnya.

And I continued researching, but I had learned my lesson.

Dan saya terus belajar, tapi saya sudah mendapat pelajaran.

I was really careful not to compare

Saya berhati-hati agar tidak

with how accomplished those people on the internet were

membandingkan diri dengan orang-orang terlatih di internet

and how fast they were,

yang sangat cepat,

because if I had, I probably never would have continued

karena jika saya begitu, saya mungkin takkan pernah

going through with it.

melanjutkan usaha ini.

Well, the weekend of the race arrived,

Pada akhir pekan menjelang perlombaan,

and it was just like going to college for the first time.

rasanya seperti pertama kali masuk kuliah.

You're dumped off,

Anda ditinggalkan di suatu tempat,

there's a whole bunch of people around you,

ada banyak orang di sekitar Anda,

you don't really know very many of them,

dan Anda tak mengenal banyak orang,

somebody's got the cool stereo and the cool TV

ada yang membawa stereo dan TV yang keren

and they're smart and they're pretty and they're cute and they're handsome

dan mereka pandai, cantik, manis, dan ganteng,

and you don't know if you really belong.

dan Anda tidak yakin Anda cocok di sana.

But then somebody says, "Hey, let's go get food."

Lalu seseorang berkata, "Hei, mari kita makan."

And all of a sudden, that friend group happens

Dan tiba-tiba grup pertemanan terbentuk,

and you start to settle in.

dan Anda mulai menyesuaikan diri.

Well, that weekend of the race,

Pada akhir pekan perlombaan itu,

we had a meeting called the Wheelers Meeting,

ada Pertemuan Pengendara Kursi Roda,

and there were 60 wheelchairs in that room the night before the race.

diikuti sekitar 60 pengendara kursi roda pada malam sebelum perlombaan.

And wouldn't you know it,

Dan tahukah Anda,

all of the people that I had been researching were there,

semua orang yang saya lihat di internet berada di sana,

the best in the world.

mereka yang terbaik di dunia.

There must have been over 50 Paralympic medals in the room that day.

Setidaknya ada 50 peraih medali Paralympic di ruangan itu.

And I felt pretty small and I fell back into that trap of comparing myself.

Saya berkecil hati dan jatuh dalam jebakan membandingkan diri dengan mereka.

I knew that my averages that I had been tracking during my workouts

Saya tahu rata-rata saya yang telah diukur selama latihan

were over 90 seconds slower per mile than theirs.

lebih lambat 90 detik per mil dari kecepatan mereka.

And the coach was the only one there that I knew,

Hanya pelatih saya yang saya kenal di sana,

and he reached out and noticed something, and I think he sensed my anxiety,

dia mendatangi saya dan dia menyadari kegelisahan saya,

and he invited me to get food with his team.

dan dia mengundang saya makan bersama timnya.

And with that, everything settled down.

Dengan itu, semuanya mereda.

I realized really quick that they didn't care about my average, surely,

Saya sadar dengan cepat bahwa mereka pasti tak peduli pada rata-rata saya,

and I had forgotten about theirs.

dan saya pun melupakan rata-rata mereka.

Well that next day,

Hari berikutnya,

I finished the race about 45 minutes after the person that won it.

saya menyelesaikan perlombaan 45 menit setelah sang juara menang.

But as I was leaving, those new friends, who are very close today,

Namun ketika saya pergi, teman baru itu, yang kini dekat dengan saya,

challenged me to stay involved

menantang saya agar tetap terlibat

and to keep working through different races and competitions.

dan terus mencoba berbagai perlombaan dan kompetisi.

And so I did what I knew how. I went home, and I got busy.

Maka saya lakukan yang saya tahu. Saya pulang dan mulai sibuk.

Now, as you can imagine, being in a wheelchair,

Sekarang bisa Anda bayangkan, berada di kursi roda,

let alone training for a marathon in a wheelchair,

apalagi berlatih maraton memakai kursi roda,

is a pretty lonely thing.

cukup penuh rasa sepi.

I have an incredible group of friends

Saya punya grup teman yang luar biasa

that will ride bikes with me and keep track of pace and help me out.

yang mengendarai sepeda bersama saya, mencatat kecepatan serta membantu saya.

But in the end, it's still five to six days a week,

Namun, itu tetap lima sampai enam hari per minggu,

it's 50 to 60 miles of effort, and it's a lot of alone time.

usaha 50 sampai 60 mil, dan saya lebih banyak sendirian.

And for the most part,

Dan sebagian besarnya,

you really have nothing to rely on but yourself in those times.

tidak ada siapapun yang bisa diandalkan kecuali diri saya sendiri.

It's my average, and I'm trying to get better little by little.

Ini rata-rata saya dan saya berusaha sedikit demi sedikit menjadi lebih baik.

Well, this fall I was in Chicago for the third time.

Musim gugur ini saya kembali ke Chicago untuk ketiga kalinya.

It was my seventh marathon,

Itu maraton ketujuh saya,

and just like going back to college for your junior year,

dan seperti kembali ke masa awal kuliah,

you're anticipating catching up with friends

Anda tak sabar ingin berbicara dengan teman-teman

and getting excited about rolling right back into things.

dan bersemangat untuk kembali bergerak.

Well, I attended the same pre-race meeting and the same pre-race meal

Saya ikuti lagi pertemuan sebelum lomba, memakan jamuan yang sama pula

and caught up with those friends.

dan mengobrol bersama kawan saya.

And we lined up for the race,

Dan kami berjajar untuk mulai lomba,

and right at the start, my average kicked in,

dan sejak awal, saya bergerak sesuai rata-rata,

and before long I caught up with some of those friends

dan tak lama kemudian saya menyusul kawan-kawan saya,

and was able to keep pace with them and push together.

mampu mengejar mereka dan bersama-sama kita berjuang.

But it wasn't long before I faded.

Namun tak lama kemudian saya ketinggalan.

It just happened, and I found myself all alone again

Terjadi begitu saja, tiba-tiba saya sendiri lagi

with really nothing to rely on other than what I had worked so hard to be at.

tanpa apapun untuk diandalkan kecuali latihan keras yang telah saya usahakan.

Namun di tengah perlombaan kondisinya berbalik arah,

But we turned into the wind at the halfway point,

and my average became a strong advantage,

dan rata-rata saya bermanfaat besar,

and it wasn't long before I caught some of those friends

tak lama kemudian saya menyusul kawan-kawan

and passed them all the way to the finish.

dan melewati mereka sampai garis akhir.

And while I didn't set a personal record that day,

Walaupun saya tak membuat rekor pribadi hari itu,

I did finish 30 seconds per mile faster than my prior Chicago times

saya selesai lebih cepat 30 detik per mil dari maraton Chicago sebelumnya

and just left myself pretty excited.

dan itu membuat saya sangat gembira.

And so this is me. This is my average.

Jadi inilah saya, inilah rata-rata saya.

Seventy-five days from today, I'll be in Boston for my second time.

Tujuh puluh lima hari lagi, saya akan kembali ke Boston untuk kedua kalinya.

I'm super excited about that.

Saya sangat bersemangat karenanya.

But keep in mind, this isn't really just about racing.

Namun perlu diingat, ini bukan hanya tentang perlombaan.

I'm working really hard every day to be better in so many other ways,

Saya bekerja sangat keras tiap hari untuk menjadi lebih baik dalam hal lainnya,

a better parent, a better husband, a better coach, teammate, friend, person.

orang tua, suami, pelatih, rekan tim, kawan dan orang yang lebih baik.

And I promise you, even though what you see here is very visible

Dan saya berjanji, meskipun yang Anda lihat di sini tampak jelas

in terms of the challenges that I face,

dalam hal tantangan yang saya hadapi,

everybody here has something that they're fighting,

semua orang di sini memiliki perjuangannya sendiri,

and it may be visible, it may not be,

ada yang terlihat, ada yang tidak,

but please, take some time and focus on you instead of others,

namun cobalah mengambil waktu untuk fokus pada diri Anda alih-alih orang lain,

and I bet you can win those challenges

dan saya jamin Anda bisa memenangkan tantangan itu

and really start accomplishing so many great things.

dan mulai mencapai banyak hal besar.

Thank you.

Terima kasih.

(Applause)

(Tepuk tangan)