To overcome challenges, stop comparing yourself to others | Dean Furness

Transcriber: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Joanna Pietrulewicz

Traductor: Danyel Barron Revisor: Lidia Cámara de la Fuente

It seems we have been measured almost all of our lives,

Parece que nos han evaluado casi toda nuestra vida,

when we are infants, with our height and our weight,

de pequeños, por nuestro peso y estatura

and as we grew it became our speed and our strength.

crecemos y entonces se evalúa nuestra velocidad y nuestra fuerza.

And even in school there are test scores

Incluso en la escuela se nos evalúa

and today with our salaries and job performance.

y ahora se evalúa nuestro sueldo y rendimiento en el trabajo.

It seems as if those personal averages are almost always used

Parece que estos estándares personales se usan

to measure where we are in comparison to our peers.

para medir nuestros logros en comparación con nuestros colegas.

And I think we should look at that a little differently.

Y creo que deberíamos verlo desde otra perspectiva.

That personal average is just that, it's something very personal

Un estándar personal es solo eso, algo personal

and it's for you,

y es para ti mismo.

and I think if you focus on that and work to build that,

Y si uno se enfoca en eso y trabaja en ello

you can really start to accomplish some really amazing things.

puede lograr cosas increíbles.

This idea started for me on a December evening in 2011.

Esta idea me vino una tarde de diciembre de 2011.

I had just stepped outside to do our evening chores

Apenas había salido a hacer mis tareas de la tarde

to feed our horses.

de alimentar los caballos.

I hopped into our tractor,

Tomé mi tractor,

and a few minutes later,

y unos minutos más tarde,

a five foot tall, 700-pound bale of hay fell from the loader,

una paca de heno de 1.5 m de alto y de 317.51 kg se cae de la cargadora y

crushing me in the seat of the tractor

me aplasta contra el asiento del tractor,

and in the process shattering my T5 and T6 vertebrae.

quebrándome la quinta y sexta vertebra.

I didn't lose consciousness,

Seguía consciente,

but I felt this buzz throughout my body, and I knew what had happened right away.

sentí un zumbido recorrer mi cuerpo, y enseguida supe lo que había pasado.

My hands were reaching for my legs,

Mis manos alcanzaban mis piernas

but my legs didn't recognize anything touching them.

pero no respondían al contacto con nada.

And in fact, I couldn't feel anything from the center of my chest down.

De hecho, no podía sentir nada desde el centro de mi pecho hacia abajo.

So there I was, about 100 feet from the house,

Así me encontraba, a casi 30 m de mi casa,

with my arms wrapped around the steering the wheel,

con mis brazos alrededor del volante

trying to hold myself up, waiting for help.

mantuve la compostura y esperé ayuda.

And unlike what you see in TV and the movies,

Contrario a lo que vemos en televisión o películas,

as much as I tried to get the dogs to go to the house and get help --

por más que traté de que lo perros fueran a casa por ayuda...

(Laughter)

(Risas)

they just stared at me.

Ellos tan solo me miraban fijamente.

Well, 45 minutes later, my wife came home,

45 minutos después mi esposa llega

and I heard her step out of the house

y la escucho salir de la casa

and, like, normal, if I needed help, "Hey, do you need help?"

y como de costumbre, ofrece su ayuda ''¿Necesitas ayuda?

And I said, "Yes."

y yo, ''Sí''.

And there was a brief pause and then I heard her yell,

Hubo una pausa y la escucho gritar,

"Do you need 9/11 help?"

''¿Ayuda de emergencia?''

And again I yelled, "Yes."

de nuevo, grito, ''Sí''.

Well, not long after I was enjoying my very first helicopter ride

Y de pronto estaba disfrutando mi primer viaje en helicóptero

all the way to the hospital.

directo al hospital.

Now, the injury wasn't very dramatic or graphic.

La herida no era tan dramática ni gráfica.

I simply broke a bone or two.

Solo me quebré un hueso o dos.

And in the process, I was told I'd probably never walk again.

Durante el proceso me dijeron que tal vez no volvería a caminar.

It became very normal for me to use a rope to sit up in bed,

Se volvio muy normal usar una cuerda para levantarme de la cama,

because my abdominal muscles no longer work.

porque mis músculos abdominales ya no servían.

Or to use a board to slide out of bed into a wheelchair,

O usar una tabla para pasar de la cama a la silla de ruedas,

or to even wait for people to reach things for me.

o esperar a que la gente me alcanzara cosas.

Everything that I had learned and had known about my height

Todo lo que aprendí y sabía de mi estatura

and my strength and my balance and my mobility was blown away.

mi fuerza, mi equilibrio y mi movilidad se había esfumado.

My entire personal average had been reset.

Mis estándares personales se habían reajustado.

Now you could be sure in those days I was being measured more than ever,

Pueden estar seguros de que entonces me evaluaban más que nunca,

by the doctors and nurses for sure

médicos y enfermeras, seguro

but maybe more so in my own mind,

pero quizá más yo en mi propia cabeza.

and I found myself comparing

y terminé comparando

what I thought I was going to be able to do going forward

lo que consideré podría hacer de ahora en adelante

with what I once was able to do.

con lo que podía hacer antes.

And I became pretty frustrated.

Y eso me dejó muy frustrado.

It took some very consistent prodding from my wife, who kept saying,

Fue cuestión de la firme insistencia de mi esposa, quien decía,

"Get your eyes up," before I could get moving forward.

''Espabílate'', antes de siquiera poder avanzar.

And I soon realized that I almost had to forget about the person I was before

Y pronto entendí que debía olvidar a la persona que era antes

and the things I was able to do before.

y lo que podía hacer entonces.

I almost had to pretend it was never me.

Casi tuve que simular que no era yo.

And I'm afraid if I had not made that realization,

Y me temo que, de no haberme dado cuenta de esto,

my frustration would have turned into something much harder to recover from.

mi frustración se hubiera desarrollado en algo mas díficil de superar.

Now, luckily, a few weeks later,

Con fortuna, unas semanas después,

I was transferred to a specialty spinal cord rehab hospital

me enviaron a un hospital con especialidad en espina dorsal

about 10 hours from home, and wouldn't you know,

a 10 horas de casa, y sin saberlo,

the first day of rehab and the first session

el primer día de terapia y la primera sesión

we had something called fit class,

tuvimos una clase de ejercicio

and a group of us broke into teams

y un grupo se dividió en equipos

to see which team could do the most reps in the weight machine.

para ver qué equipo podía hacer más repeticiones de peso.

Now, we've all been there, haven't been to the gym in a year or two.

Todos hemos estado igual, sin ir al gimnasio en un año o dos.

Neither had I.

Me incluyo.

And so what do you do?

Entonces, ¿qué haces?

You try to do what you did a couple of years ago,

Intentas hacer lo mismo que años atrás,

and you do a couple of sets.

haces un par de series.

And then what do you do? A couple more.

¿Y después? Un par más.

And you're feeling even better, so you do more.

Te sientes mucho mejor, así que haces más.

And the next two weeks you complain to your family about how sore you are.

Después te quejas con tu familia dos semanas de lo dolorido que estás.

(Laughter)

(Risas)

Well, my team went all out and we won, we won big,

Mi equipo lo dio todo y ganamos, triunfamos,

and for the next three days I could not straighten my arms,

y los siguientes tres días no pude estirar los brazos,

which isn't that big a deal except when you're in a wheelchair

lo cual no es gran cosa, a menos que estés en silla de ruedas.

and that's really what you have to use to get around.

y, de hecho, los necesitas para desplazarte.

And that proved to be a very important lesson for me.

Y esa resultó ser una gran lección para mí.

It was one thing that I couldn't compare myself to myself,

Había una cosa que no pude comparar yo conmigo mismo

but even around people in the same situation in that hospital,

pero incluso con personas en mi misma situación en aquel hospital,

I found that I couldn't try to keep pace or set pace with them as well,

me di cuenta que tampoco podía mantener el ritmo yendo a la par con ellos.

and I was left with really only one choice

Y solo tenia una opción

and that was to focus on who I was at that point in time

y era enfocarme en quién era en ese momento

with where I needed to go and to get back to who I needed to be.

en adónde quería llegar y en quién me quería convertir.

For the next six weeks, for seven to eight hours a day,

Seis semanas; siete a ocho horas al día,

that's what I did.

eso es lo que hice.

I built little by little,

Me forjé poco a poco,

and, as you might expect,

y como podrán esperar,

when you're recovering from a spinal cord injury,

mientras te recuperas de una lesión medular,

you're going to have a bad day.

tienes días malos.

You might have a few in a row.

Incluso tienes varios días malos seguidos.

What I found out is that good and bad really didn't have a lot of meaning

Algo que aprendí es que 'bueno' y 'malo' no tenían mucho significado,

unless I had the context of knowing what my average was.

a menos de fuera consciente de mi rendimiento previo.

It was really up to me to decide if something was bad or good

Era cosa mía juzgar algo como malo o bueno

based on where I was at that point in time,

juzgando mi situación en ese momento,

and it was in my control to determine if it really was a bad day.

y era decisión mía tachar ese día como malo.

In fact, it was my decision on whether or not I could stop

De hecho, estaba en mí poder parar o no

a streak of bad days.

la mala racha.

And what I found during that time away from home

Y lo que descubrí en ese tiempo lejos de casa,

is I never had a bad day, even with everything going on.

es que nunca tuve un mal día, a pesar de todo lo que sucedía.

There were parts of my day that were certainly not as pleasant

Definitivamente había momentos en el día que no eran tan placenteros

as they could be,

como me habría gustado,

but it was never an entirely bad day.

pero no era del todo malo.

So I'm guessing that all of you have been through a meeting

Imagino que todos han tenido una reunión

that probably didn't go very well,

que quizá no salió como esperaban,

or a commute that wasn't as great as you would like it,

o algo salió mal de camino al trabajo,

or even burned dinner at night.

o se les quemó la cena.

Did those things really ruin your entire day?

¿En verdad eso arruinó por completo su día?

What I found in those scenarios is the quicker you move on to what's next,

Lo que veo en esos escenarios es que entre más rápido uno pasa página,

the quicker you can start attacking things.

mas fácil es abordar el problema.

And by moving on to next as fast as possible,

Y al hacer esto,

you shrink the time you spend in those bad scenarios

se minimiza el tiempo que se pierde en esos malos ratos

and it gives more time for the good.

y ganas más tiempo para buenos momentos.

And, as a result, the good outweighs the bad,

Y al final, lo bueno gana a lo malo,

your average increases and that's just how the math works.

el promedio aumenta, y así es cómo funcionan las matemáticas.

It didn't matter to me if I'd spent the morning

No me importaba si pasaba toda la mañana

really struggling with my medication,

batallando con mi medicación,

or at lunch my legs being very spastic,

o con la espasticidad de mis piernas en la comida.

or even if I had fallen out of my wheelchair.

o incluso si me caía de la silla de ruedas.

Ask my wife. It happens quite often.

Pregúntenle a mi esposa, pasa seguido.

She's here.

Por ahí está.

They were just small parts of my day and small parts of my average.

Solo eran pequeños momentos de mi día y pequeñas partes de mi promedio.

And so, in the months and years that followed,

En los meses y años siguientes,

I continued to try to attack things in that way,

intenté seguir abordando estas situaciones de esta forma,

and before I knew it I was being presented with some pretty incredible challenges,

y sin darme cuenta, se presentaron algunos retos realmente increíbles,

like completing a marathon in a wheelchair.

como completar un maratón en silla de ruedas.

In early 2016, I met my physical therapist,

Al principio del 2016, conocí a mi fisioterapeuta,

and after a few really grueling sessions, she must have sensed something,

y después de varias sesiones agotadoras, debió haber sentido algo,

because she pulled me aside and said, "You know, you should do a half marathon.

porque se acercó y me dijo, ''¿Sabes?, deberías hacer medio maratón.

In your wheelchair. And, oh yeah, it's in 10 weeks."

En tu silla de ruedas. Y, por cierto, es en 10 semanas''.

And I thought in my mind, "You're crazy." I didn't have a workout plan.

pensé para mí, ''Estas loca''. No tenía un plan de entrenamiento.

I didn't have any way of knowing how fast I needed to go

No tenia idea de lo rápido que debía ir

or how far I was supposed to go.

o lo lejos que debía llegar.

But I simply got to work,

Pero me puse a trabajar,

and I started tracking every workout, every day,

y controlé cada entrenamiento, cada día

and I simply wanted to be as good as or as fast as I was the prior day.

y solo quería ser mejor o más rápido que el día anterior.

And in the end I really created that average for myself

y finalmente había logrado un promedio de mí mismo.

and I tried to build on that as much as I could.

y traté de mejorar en relación a eso lo más que pudiera.

Well, I finished that race right in time with what my average should have been,

Terminé la carrera justo a tiempo considerando mi promedio correcto,

and somewhere along the way

y sobre la marcha

I kind of closed the door on who I once was.

cerré la puerta a quién fui una vez.

That person who I was before

Esa persona que era antes

and all those things I thought I was able to do really didn't matter.

y todo lo que pensaba que podía hacer ya no importaban en verdad.

In fact, walking again really didn't matter.

De hecho, caminar de nuevo ya no importaba.

It became much less of a goal for me in terms of where I was going to go.

Ya no era un objetivo para mí en cuanto a lo que quería lograr.

And besides, like, you guys are so slow when you walk.

Y por cierto, chicos, Uds. son lentos al caminar.

In crowds like this, it is so difficult.

En lugares como éste, es complicado.

I'm like, "Get out of the way. We're going places."

Pienso, ''Abran paso. Llevo prisa''.

(Laughter)

(Risas)

And all I wanted to do was go fast.

Todo lo que quería era ir rápido.

And so I did what I thought I should do.

E hice lo que creí necesario.

I started researching wheelchair racing.

Empecé a leer sobre carreras en silla de ruedas.

And I went online and I found the best of the best,

Encontré lo mejor de lo mejor en internet,

I learned their technique, I learned about the equipment,

Aprendí sobre su técnica, sobre el equipo,

and I was lucky to have a coach that offered me a way to get started.

y tuve suerte de tener un entrenador que me ofreció una forma de empezar.

And after talking with him

Después de hablar con él

and having him help me get those things underway,

y de que me ayudara a ponerme eso en marcha,

as I was leaving, he says, "You know, you should do the 2017 Chicago Marathon."

ya para irme, dijo, ''¿Sabes?, deberías hacer el maratón 2017 de Chicago''.

And he's the coach, I can't tell him no.

Es el entrenador, no puedo decirle ''no''.

So with that guidance, I went back home, and I got to work,

Así que con su apoyo, regresé a casa y me puse a trabajar,

much like in the prior way.

igual a como lo había estado haciendo.

And I continued researching, but I had learned my lesson.

Seguí investigando, pero ya había aprendido la lección.

I was really careful not to compare

Fui cuidadoso en no compararme

with how accomplished those people on the internet were

con lo exitosos y rápidos que eran las personas que

and how fast they were,

encontraba en internet.

because if I had, I probably never would have continued

de haberlo hecho, es probable que no hubiera

going through with it.

seguido con esto.

Well, the weekend of the race arrived,

La semana de la carrera llegó,

and it was just like going to college for the first time.

me sentía como en el primer día de universidad.

You're dumped off,

Te dejan ahí,

there's a whole bunch of people around you,

Esta toda esta gente alrededor.

you don't really know very many of them,

Conoces a muy pocos de ellos,

somebody's got the cool stereo and the cool TV

alguien tiene el mejor estéreo y la mejor tele

and they're smart and they're pretty and they're cute and they're handsome

y son listos, atractivos, guapos.

and you don't know if you really belong.

y no sabes si estás incluido, en verdad.

But then somebody says, "Hey, let's go get food."

Y de pronto alguien dice, ''Eh, vamos a comer''.

And all of a sudden, that friend group happens

Y de la nada, tienes un grupo de amigos

and you start to settle in.

y te empiezas a acoplar.

Well, that weekend of the race,

Esa semana de la carrera,

we had a meeting called the Wheelers Meeting,

hubo una reunión, se llamaba The Wheelers,

and there were 60 wheelchairs in that room the night before the race.

y había 60 sillas de ruedas en aquella sala la noche anterior a la carrera.

And wouldn't you know it,

Sin esperarlo,

all of the people that I had been researching were there,

todas las personas sobre las que había leído estaba ahí,

the best in the world.

los mejores del mundo.

There must have been over 50 Paralympic medals in the room that day.

Debieron ser más de 50 medallas paralímpicas en aquella sala aquel día.

And I felt pretty small and I fell back into that trap of comparing myself.

Me sentí muy intimidado y caí en mi trampa de compararme.

I knew that my averages that I had been tracking during my workouts

Sabia que mis promedios durante mis entrenamientos

were over 90 seconds slower per mile than theirs.

estaba 90 s/km atrás que los de ellos.

And the coach was the only one there that I knew,

Y mi entrenador era al único que conocía ahí,

and he reached out and noticed something, and I think he sensed my anxiety,

se acercó y notó algo, creo que detectó mi ansiedad.

and he invited me to get food with his team.

y me invitó a comer con su equipo.

And with that, everything settled down.

así fue como pude calmarme.

I realized really quick that they didn't care about my average, surely,

Pronto me di cuenta de que no les importaba mi promedio, para nada,

and I had forgotten about theirs.

y yo ya no pensaba en el de ellos.

Well that next day,

Al día siguiente

I finished the race about 45 minutes after the person that won it.

terminé la carrera 45 minutos después que la persona ganadora.

But as I was leaving, those new friends, who are very close today,

Ya para irme, esos amigos nuevos, ahora muy cercanos,

challenged me to stay involved

me retaron a seguir en esto

and to keep working through different races and competitions.

y entrenar para diferentes carreras y competiciones.

And so I did what I knew how. I went home, and I got busy.

E hice lo que sabía hacer. Regresé a casa y me ocupé de eso.

Now, as you can imagine, being in a wheelchair,

Como podrán imaginarse, estar en una silla de ruedas,

let alone training for a marathon in a wheelchair,

entrenando solo para un maratón en silla de ruedas,

is a pretty lonely thing.

es algo muy solitario.

I have an incredible group of friends

Tengo un increible grupo de amigos

that will ride bikes with me and keep track of pace and help me out.

que van en bici conmigo y llevan registro de mi ritmo y me ayudan.

But in the end, it's still five to six days a week,

En el fondo, siguen siendo cinco a seis días por semana

it's 50 to 60 miles of effort, and it's a lot of alone time.

son de 80.4 a 96.5 km de esfuerzo, y es mucho tiempo a solas.

And for the most part,

En general,

you really have nothing to rely on but yourself in those times.

no tienes en que apoyarte más que en ti durante esos momentos.

It's my average, and I'm trying to get better little by little.

Es mi promedio, y trato de mejorar poco a poco.

Well, this fall I was in Chicago for the third time.

Este otoño estuve en Chicago por tercera vez.

It was my seventh marathon,

Fue mi séptimo maratón,

and just like going back to college for your junior year,

es justo como volver al último año de universidad,

you're anticipating catching up with friends

te apuras en ponerte al día con tus amigos

and getting excited about rolling right back into things.

y te ilusiona regresar a tus actividades.

Well, I attended the same pre-race meeting and the same pre-race meal

Asistí a la misma reunión introductoria y a la misma comida previa

and caught up with those friends.

y me puse al día con esos amigos.

And we lined up for the race,

Nos preparamos para la carrera

and right at the start, my average kicked in,

y en la salida, mi promedio se hizo ver,

and before long I caught up with some of those friends

y en poco tiempo alcancé a algunos de esos amigos

and was able to keep pace with them and push together.

y pude seguirles el paso y fuimos juntos.

But it wasn't long before I faded.

Pero no pasó mucho tiempo antes de que me desvaneciera.

It just happened, and I found myself all alone again

Simplemente sucedió. Y me encontraba solo de nuevo

with really nothing to rely on other than what I had worked so hard to be at.

sin nada en qué apoyarme más que en lo que había logrado hasta entonces.

But we turned into the wind at the halfway point,

Todo iba viento en popa a la mitad de la carrera

and my average became a strong advantage,

y mi promedio se convirtió en uno sólido.

and it wasn't long before I caught some of those friends

Y no tarde mucho en adelantar a algunos de esos amigos

and passed them all the way to the finish.

y rebasarlos directo a la meta.

And while I didn't set a personal record that day,

Y aunque no hice un récord personal aquel día,

I did finish 30 seconds per mile faster than my prior Chicago times

terminé 18.64 s/km más rápido que mi tiempo anterior en Chicago

and just left myself pretty excited.

y eso me puso muy contento.

And so this is me. This is my average.

Así que éste soy yo. Éste es mi promedio.

Seventy-five days from today, I'll be in Boston for my second time.

En 75 días estaré en Boston por segunda vez.

I'm super excited about that.

Me emociona mucho.

But keep in mind, this isn't really just about racing.

Pero, toma en cuenta que esto no es solo sobre correr.

I'm working really hard every day to be better in so many other ways,

Me esfuerzo mucho todos los días en ser mejor en diferentes aspectos,

a better parent, a better husband, a better coach, teammate, friend, person.

mejor padre, mejor esposo, mejor entrenador, en mi equipo, amigo, persona.

And I promise you, even though what you see here is very visible

Y les aseguro que, aun cuando lo que ven es muy obvio

in terms of the challenges that I face,

en cuanto a los retos que enfrento,

everybody here has something that they're fighting,

todos aquí están enfrentando algo.

and it may be visible, it may not be,

Puede sea visible, puede que no,

but please, take some time and focus on you instead of others,

pero por favor, dense un tiempo y enfóquense en Uds. primero,

and I bet you can win those challenges

y les aseguro que pueden superar esos obstáculos

and really start accomplishing so many great things.

y empezar a lograr grandes cosas.

Thank you.

Gracias.

(Applause)

(Aplausos)