How to embrace emotions at work | The Way We Work, a TED series

Transcriber: TED Translators admin

翻译人员: Yan Tang 校对人员: Yolanda Zhang

No matter how hard you might try,

无论你多么努力，

you can't just flip a switch when you step into the office

都无法在踏入办公室时 轻轻按下开关，

and turn your emotions off.

就此屏蔽你的情感。

Feeling feelings is part of being human.

感受自身的情绪 是生而为人的一部分。

[The Way We Work]

【我们工作的方式】

A pervasive myth exists that emotions don't belong at work,

主流的观念认为 情感应该被排斥在工作之外，

and this often leads us

这常常让我们

to mistakenly equate professionalism with being stoic or even cold.

错误地将专业素养 等同于坚忍甚至冷酷。

But research shows that in the moments when our colleagues

但研究表明，当我们的同事

drop their glossy professional presentation,

卸下了光鲜的专业姿态，

we're actually much more likely to believe what they're telling us.

我们会更倾向于相信他们所说的话。

We feel connected to the people around us.

我们会感到与身边的人建立了联系。

We try harder, we perform better

我们会更努力、表现得更好，

and we're just generally kinder.

也会变得更加宽容。

So it's about time that we learn how to embrace emotion at work.

所以是时候让我们学会 如何在工作中拥抱情绪了。

Now, that's not to say

不过这并不意味着

you should suddenly become a feelings fire hose.

你可以立刻开始发泄情绪。

A line exists between sharing, which builds trust,

界线就在促进信任的分享行为

and oversharing, which destroys it.

与破坏信任的过度分享之间。

If you suddenly let your feelings run wild at work

如果你突然在工作中 尽情地表达情绪，

and give people far more information than they bargained for,

给人们超出他们需求量的信息，

you make everyone around you uncomfortable

你会让身边的每个人觉得不舒服，

and you also undermine yourself.

同时造成对自己不利的局面。

You're more likely to be seen as weak or lacking self awareness,

人们可能会觉得 你很脆弱，或缺乏自知之明。

so, great to say you weren't feeling well last night --

所以，你可以说你昨晚过得不太好，

you don't need to go into every lurid detail

但不必详细描述

about how you got reacquainted with your half-digested dinner.

那顿难以消化的晚餐。

So there's a wide spectrum of emotional expression.

因此，表达情绪的程度范围很广。

On one hand, you have under-emoters,

一方面，存在“匮乏表达者”，

or people who have a hard time talking about their feelings,

或是那些很难传递自我情绪的人。

and on the other end are over-emoters,

另一方面，存在“过度表达者”，

those who constantly share everything that's going on inside,

他们无时无刻不在分享 内心的每一个感受。

and neither of these make for a healthy workplace.

这两种类型的人都 不能营造健康的工作环境。

So what's the balance between these two extremes?

那么，二者之间的平衡在哪里呢？

It's something called selective vulnerability.

那就是所谓的“选择性脆弱”。

Selective vulnerability is opening up

“选择性脆弱”是在敞开心扉的同时

while still prioritizing stability and psychological safety,

依然顾及你与同事们的

both for you and for your colleagues.

心理安全感与稳定性。

Luckily, anyone can learn

幸运的是，通过练习，

to be selectively vulnerable, with practice.

任何人都能学会“选择性脆弱”。

Here are four ways to get started.

可以用以下四种方式开始练习。

First, flag your feelings without becoming emotionally leaky.

第一，表明你的感受 而不过度宣泄情绪。

Bad moods are contagious,

坏心情会传染，

and even if you're not vocalizing what you're feeling,

即使没有说出你的感受，

chances are your body language or your expressions

肢体语言和表情也很有可能

are a dead giveaway.

传达出糟糕的信息。

So if you are crossing your arms or hammering on your keyboard,

所以当你环抱起手臂 或用力敲打键盘时，

your coworkers are going to know you're upset.

同事们就会发现你不开心。

And if you don't say anything,

如果你什么都不说，

they might start to think it's about them and get worried.

他们也许会担心 是自己导致了你的坏心情。

So if you are reacting to a non-work-related event,

所以当你的情绪与工作无关时，

so traffic for example, just flag it.

比如是由于路上堵车， 就可以直接表明。

You don't need to go into detail.

不需要解释细节，

You can say something as simple as "I'm having a bad morning.

只要简单地说“我今早真倒霉，

It has nothing to do with you."

并不是你的问题。” 就够了。

Now if it's a work-related event

然而，如果的确是工作上的事

that's causing you to feel strong emotions,

导致你产生了强烈的情绪，

that brings us to point number two.

这就要用到第二种方式。

Try to understand the need behind your emotion,

尝试理解情绪背后的需求，

and then address that need.

并且满足这种需求。

If you suddenly start to find everyone around you irritating,

如果你突然觉得 周围的人都在惹你生气，

sit back and reflect on that.

坐下来想想这是为什么。

And it might be that you're irritable because you're anxious,

也许是因为你很焦虑从而变得易怒，

and you're anxious because you're worried about hitting a looming deadline.

而焦虑来自于某项工作的 截止日期正在逼近。

And in that case, you can go back to your team

在这种情况下， 你可以回到团队中处理这种需求，

to address that need and say something like,

比如告诉大家：

"I want to make sure I get everything done ahead of the deadline.

“我希望在期限前完成工作，

Can you help me put together a realistic plan to do that?"

你们能帮我一起 制定一个可行的计划吗？“

If you're thinking of sharing,

如果你在考虑分享你的情绪，

try and put yourself in the other person's shoes.

试试设身处地为他人着想。

So if what you're about to say would help you feel more supported

如果你要说的话 会让你收获更多支持

and better understand the situation,

或更好地被人理解，

then go ahead and share it.

那就无需顾虑，把它分享出来。

But if it gives you any kind of pause, you might want to leave it out.

但如果你对此感到迟疑， 你也许更愿意略去不提。

And finally, read the room and provide a path forward.

最后，察觉气氛 并指出进展的方向。

If everyone on your team has been pulling long hours,

如果你团队中的每个人都在加班加点，

and you notice that one of your colleagues seems particularly deflated or anxious,

而你发现有一位同事 显得特别沮丧或焦虑，

you can acknowledge that and show some empathy,

你可以承认这一点并且适当地共情。

but then try to give them something actionable

但接着你得指明一些

that they could hold on to.

对方能做到的事情。

在这种情况下，

And in this case,

你可以建议自己去和经理商量

you could suggest that you go to your manager

and ask that your weekly meeting

把本周的例会推迟一天，

be pushed back a day so you both have more time to work.

这样你们都会有更多的时间处理工作。

You're showing you're invested in their success,

这样既展现了你对团队成功的信心，

也表达了你对同事的关怀。

but also that you care about their well-being.

当我们真诚地面对自己的感受，

When we can be honest about what we feel,

and freely suggest ideas, make mistakes

自由地提出建议、勇于试错，

and just not have to hide every piece of who we are,

不必隐藏每一点真实的自己，

we're much more likely to stay at the company for a long time.

我们更可能长久地在一家公司工作。

We're also happier and more productive.

我们会更快乐，也更有效率。

So take a moment to reflect on the emotional expression

所以花一点时间回顾你每天

that you bring to work each day.

带到工作中的情感表达吧。

And if you are prone to oversharing, try editing.

如果你倾向于过分表达， 尝试缩减一些。

And if you're a little bit more reserved,

如果你倾向于沉默，

look for moments when you can open up to your colleagues

就抓住向同事敞开心扉的机会，

and be a bit vulnerable.

变得“脆弱”一点。

And chances are, there will be a big difference

很有可能，人们回应你的方式

in how people respond to you.

会与之前有着天壤之别。

And selective vulnerability might just become

“选择性脆弱”也许会成为

one of your most valuable tools.

你最有价值的工具之一。