How to embrace emotions at work | The Way We Work, a TED series

Transcriber: TED Translators admin

譯者: Ray Chan 審譯者: Yanyan Hong

No matter how hard you might try,

每當你踏進辦公室，

you can't just flip a switch when you step into the office

你總不能好像只是按個鈕，

and turn your emotions off.

便把你的情緒關掉。

Feeling feelings is part of being human.

人本來就是滿有情緒的動物。

[The Way We Work]

［我們如何工作］

A pervasive myth exists that emotions don't belong at work,

很多人有個錯誤觀念 以為工作不應涉及情緒，

and this often leads us

以致我們往往

to mistakenly equate professionalism with being stoic or even cold.

會把強硬甚至冷酷 當成是專業的表現。

But research shows that in the moments when our colleagues

但是據硏究顯示

當我們的同事嘗試 脫下閃亮的專業外衣時，

drop their glossy professional presentation,

we're actually much more likely to believe what they're telling us.

我們會更容易相信他們的說話；

We feel connected to the people around us.

我們會感到和其他同事更貼近；

We try harder, we perform better

我們工作會更盡力、表現得更好；

and we're just generally kinder.

還會變得更友善。

So it's about time that we learn how to embrace emotion at work.

所以，是我們學習如何 在職場妥善處理情緒的時候了。

Now, that's not to say

但是，這不是說

you should suddenly become a feelings fire hose.

你要忽然變成 一個大情大性的人。

A line exists between sharing, which builds trust,

存在著一條微妙的分界線： 適當表達感受可以增加互信，

and oversharing, which destroys it.

但過了火的話卻又會適得其反。

If you suddenly let your feelings run wild at work

如果你工作時突然情緒太高漲，

and give people far more information than they bargained for,

向同事吐露太多，

you make everyone around you uncomfortable

那只會令人感到尷尬不安，

and you also undermine yourself.

更影響了你自己的形象，

You're more likely to be seen as weak or lacking self awareness,

别人會以為你性格軟弱、 或欠缺自覺能力。

so, great to say you weren't feeling well last night --

所以，譬如你可以說 昨天晚上有點不舒服，

you don't need to go into every lurid detail

但卻不須要詳細描述

about how you got reacquainted with your half-digested dinner.

說你怎樣把半份晚餐 吐了出來等等。

So there's a wide spectrum of emotional expression.

情緒的表達光譜很寬。

On one hand, you have under-emoters,

在一端，有些人很冷感，

or people who have a hard time talking about their feelings,

不善於表達自己的情緒；

and on the other end are over-emoters,

而在另一端，有些人又太熱情，

those who constantly share everything that's going on inside,

不停地表露自己的情緒。

and neither of these make for a healthy workplace.

這兩種情況都不利於職場的健康。

So what's the balance between these two extremes?

那麼中庸之道在哪？

It's something called selective vulnerability.

中庸之道在於所謂的「適度脆弱」。

Selective vulnerability is opening up

「適度脆弱」的意思是

嘗試開放自己，但同時又須注意

while still prioritizing stability and psychological safety,

保持平衡和心理上的安全感，

both for you and for your colleagues.

對你和你的同事皆然。

Luckily, anyone can learn

幸運地，其實任何人

to be selectively vulnerable, with practice.

也可以練習到「適度脆弱」。

Here are four ways to get started.

這裡有四點可作為起步的參考。

First, flag your feelings without becoming emotionally leaky.

第一：你可以告訴別人自己的感覺，

但無須表現得情緒化。

Bad moods are contagious,

壞的情緒是有傳染病性的，

and even if you're not vocalizing what you're feeling,

就算你沒有說出來，

chances are your body language or your expressions

你的表情或身體語言

are a dead giveaway.

多半已經透露真相。

So if you are crossing your arms or hammering on your keyboard,

例如你交叉著雙臂， 或是大力敲打鍵盤，

your coworkers are going to know you're upset.

同事會知道你心情不好。

And if you don't say anything,

又如果你甚麼都不說，

they might start to think it's about them and get worried.

同事便甚至會擔心 你是在生他們的氣。

So if you are reacting to a non-work-related event,

所以，如果你的不快與工作無關，

so traffic for example, just flag it.

例如是交通問題，那麼說出來便是。

You don't need to go into detail.

你不須要詳述甚麼。

You can say something as simple as "I'm having a bad morning.

你可以簡單地說： 「我今天早上很倒楣，

It has nothing to do with you."

「這個與你們無關的。」

Now if it's a work-related event

而假如問題是和工作有關，

that's causing you to feel strong emotions,

導致你產生強烈的情緒，

that brings us to point number two.

那便要說到第二點：

Try to understand the need behind your emotion,

嘗試了解自己情緒背後的需要，

and then address that need.

然後處理那個需要。

If you suddenly start to find everyone around you irritating,

例如你忽然發覺 周圍的人開始令你發怒，

sit back and reflect on that.

便要靜下來讓自己想一想。

And it might be that you're irritable because you're anxious,

可能你易怒是因為感到憂慮，

and you're anxious because you're worried about hitting a looming deadline.

而你憂慮是因為截止日快到了。

如果這樣，你可以回團隊那裡

And in that case, you can go back to your team

to address that need and say something like,

處理那個需求，說：

"I want to make sure I get everything done ahead of the deadline.

「我要確定在截止日前能全部完成，

Can you help me put together a realistic plan to do that?"

你們能幫我做個實際可行的計劃嗎？」

If you're thinking of sharing,

第三：如果你準備要說出感受，

try and put yourself in the other person's shoes.

便要先設身處地想想其他人的感受。

So if what you're about to say would help you feel more supported

如果你將要說的話 會令你更覺得受到支持，

and better understand the situation,

會更了解工作情況，

then go ahead and share it.

那麼便有話直說。

But if it gives you any kind of pause, you might want to leave it out.

但如果令你感到有所保留， 那麼還是不說為妙。

And finally, read the room and provide a path forward.

第四：你須要學會體察民意， 和提供下一步方案。

If everyone on your team has been pulling long hours,

倘若你的團隊已經長期加班，

and you notice that one of your colleagues seems particularly deflated or anxious,

而你亦留意到其中一位同事 似乎特別疲累或焦燥，

you can acknowledge that and show some empathy,

你可以顯示接納和同情，

but then try to give them something actionable

但你亦須要提出一些可行的措施

that they could hold on to.

供同事們安心繼續努力。

And in this case,

在這個例子中，

you could suggest that you go to your manager

你可以提出你會去見經理，

商量把週會延後一天，

and ask that your weekly meeting

be pushed back a day so you both have more time to work.

以便大家可以有多一點時間工作。

You're showing you're invested in their success,

這樣可以顯示你不但 為同事的工作成果投入精力，

同時也關心他們的健康。

but also that you care about their well-being.

當我們可以對自己的感覺誠實，

When we can be honest about what we feel,

可自由表達想法、犯錯，

and freely suggest ideas, make mistakes

and just not have to hide every piece of who we are,

可不用隱藏我們的內心，

we're much more likely to stay at the company for a long time.

那麼我們便很大機會 可以安心在公司長期工作下去。

We're also happier and more productive.

我們亦會更快樂、更有生產力。

So take a moment to reflect on the emotional expression

所以請你花點時間想想

你每天帶著怎樣的情緒質素去上班？

that you bring to work each day.

And if you are prone to oversharing, try editing.

假如你一向太容易表露情感， 請嘗試收歛一點；

And if you're a little bit more reserved,

假如你太保留自己，

便請找機會向同事們開放多一點，

look for moments when you can open up to your colleagues

and be a bit vulnerable.

稍為「脆弱」一點無妨。

And chances are, there will be a big difference

這樣，其他人對你的態度，

in how people respond to you.

可能從此變得不一樣；

And selective vulnerability might just become

而「適度脆弱」

便可能成為你一個重要的好幫手。

one of your most valuable tools.