How to embrace emotions at work | The Way We Work, a TED series

Transcriber: TED Translators admin

Translator: TED Translators Admin Reviewer: Hafizh Alfarisi

Betapa pun kerasnya mencoba,

kau tak bisa ubah suasana hatimu saat masuk kantor

dan meniadakan emosimu.

Merasakan perasaan adalah bagian dari menjadi manusia.

[Cara Kita Bekerja]

No matter how hard you might try,

you can't just flip a switch when you step into the office

Mitos yang beredar menyebut bahwa perasaan tak terlibat dalam pekerjaan.

and turn your emotions off.

Hal ini kerap membuat kita

Feeling feelings is part of being human.

salah menyamakan profesionalisme dengan bersikap tabah, bahkan dingin.

[The Way We Work]

Namun, riset menunjukkan ketika rekan kerja kita

A pervasive myth exists that emotions don't belong at work,

melepas pembawaan profesionalnya,

kita sebenarnya lebih yakin dengan ucapan mereka;

and this often leads us

kita lebih terhubung dengan orang sekitar;

to mistakenly equate professionalism with being stoic or even cold.

kita berusaha lebih keras; kinerja kita lebih baik;

But research shows that in the moments when our colleagues

dan kita lebih ramah.

drop their glossy professional presentation,

Sudah waktunya kita mempelajari cara menerima emosi saat bekerja.

we're actually much more likely to believe what they're telling us.

Namun, bukan berarti

We feel connected to the people around us.

kau lantas meluapkan perasaan dengan membabi buta.

We try harder, we perform better

Ada batas di antara curhat yang membangun kepercayaan

and we're just generally kinder.

So it's about time that we learn how to embrace emotion at work.

dan curhat berlebih yang menghancurkannya.

Jika kau tiba-tiba membiarkan perasaanmu berkeliaran di tempat kerja

Now, that's not to say

you should suddenly become a feelings fire hose.

dan memberi informasi kelewat berlebihan,

A line exists between sharing, which builds trust,

kau malah membuat sekitarmu tak nyaman dan kau juga merusak diri sendiri.

and oversharing, which destroys it.

Kau akan dilihat sebagai orang yang lemah atau kurang sadar diri.

If you suddenly let your feelings run wild at work

Bagus kalau kau mengakui dirimu tak enak badan semalam,

and give people far more information than they bargained for,

tapi tak perlu menceritakan setiap detail

you make everyone around you uncomfortable

bagaimana kau mengingat lagi makan malammu yang setengah tercerna.

and you also undermine yourself.

You're more likely to be seen as weak or lacking self awareness,

Terdapat spektrum yang luas dalam ekspresi emosional.

so, great to say you weren't feeling well last night --

Di satu sisi, ada hipo-emotif,

yaitu orang-orang yang sulit mengutarakan perasaannya.

you don't need to go into every lurid detail

Di sisi lain, ada hiper-emotif,

about how you got reacquainted with your half-digested dinner.

yaitu mereka yang terus menceritakan segala yang ada dalam benaknya.

So there's a wide spectrum of emotional expression.

On one hand, you have under-emoters,

Keduanya tidak membentuk lingkungan kerja sehat.

or people who have a hard time talking about their feelings,

Jadi, apa penyeimbang di antara kedua ekstrem ini?

and on the other end are over-emoters,

Penyeimbang itu disebut kerentanan selektif.

those who constantly share everything that's going on inside,

Kerentanan selektif ialah sifat terbuka

selagi tetap mempertahankan stabilitas dan keamanan psikis,

and neither of these make for a healthy workplace.

So what's the balance between these two extremes?

baik untukmu maupun rekan kerjamu.

Untungnya, semua bisa belajar berada di kerentanan selektif, lewat latihan.

It's something called selective vulnerability.

Selective vulnerability is opening up

Inilah empat cara memulainya.

while still prioritizing stability and psychological safety,

Pertama, tandai perasaanmu tanpa harus terbawa perasaan.

both for you and for your colleagues.

Suasana hati buruk itu menular.

Luckily, anyone can learn

Kalaupun kau tak mengutarakan perasaanmu,

to be selectively vulnerable, with practice.

kemungkinannya gerak tubuh dan ekspresimu memperlihatkannya.

Here are four ways to get started.

First, flag your feelings without becoming emotionally leaky.

Jika kau menyilangkan lengan atau menekan keras keyboard-mu,

Bad moods are contagious,

rekan kerjamu langsung tahu kalau kau sedang kesal.

and even if you're not vocalizing what you're feeling,

Jika kau tidak mengatakan apa-apa,

chances are your body language or your expressions

mereka mungkin malah merasa bersalah, lalu khawatir.

Jika kau bereaksi terhadap hal di luar pekerjaan,

are a dead giveaway.

So if you are crossing your arms or hammering on your keyboard,

lalu lintas misalnya, tandai perasaan itu.

your coworkers are going to know you're upset.

Tak perlu mengamati detailnya.

Kau dapat berkata secara simpel seperti, “Pagiku kacau.

And if you don't say anything,

they might start to think it's about them and get worried.

Kau tak ada kaitannya.”

So if you are reacting to a non-work-related event,

Namun, jika pemicunya terkait pekerjaan yang membuatmu merasakan emosi yang kuat,

so traffic for example, just flag it.

permasalahannya ada di poin kedua.

You don't need to go into detail.

Coba pahami kebutuhan di balik emosimu,

You can say something as simple as "I'm having a bad morning.

lalu ungkap kebutuhan itu.

Jika tiba-tiba orang di sekitarmu terasa menyebalkan,

It has nothing to do with you."

Now if it's a work-related event

that's causing you to feel strong emotions,

duduk dan renungkan.

that brings us to point number two.

Mungkin kau merasa jengkel akibat gelisah

Try to understand the need behind your emotion,

dan kau gelisah karena mencemaskan tenggat tugas yang mendekat.

and then address that need.

If you suddenly start to find everyone around you irritating,

Bila begitu, kau bisa kembali ke timmu

untuk mengungkapnya dan mengatakan hal seperti,

sit back and reflect on that.

“Aku mau pastikan semua selesai menjelang tenggat waktu.

And it might be that you're irritable because you're anxious,

Bisakah kau membantuku menyusun rencana realistis?”

and you're anxious because you're worried about hitting a looming deadline.

Jika kau hendak curhat,

bayangkan dirimu di posisi orang lain.

And in that case, you can go back to your team

to address that need and say something like,

Jika yang akan kau katakan membuatmu merasa lebih didukung

"I want to make sure I get everything done ahead of the deadline.

dan menjadikanmu lebih memahami situasi,

Can you help me put together a realistic plan to do that?"

silakan curhat.

If you're thinking of sharing,

Namun, jika hal itu membuatmu ragu, sebaiknya hindari.

try and put yourself in the other person's shoes.

Terakhir, baca situasi dan sediakan jalan keluar.

So if what you're about to say would help you feel more supported

Jika semua orang di timmu lelah karena lembur

and better understand the situation,

dan kau melihat satu rekan kerjamu merasa letih atau gelisah,

then go ahead and share it.

But if it gives you any kind of pause, you might want to leave it out.

kau dapat menerimanya dan menunjukkan empati.

And finally, read the room and provide a path forward.

Namun, beri pula mereka hal yang sanggup dikerjakan dan ditangani.

If everyone on your team has been pulling long hours,

Dalam hal ini, kau bisa tawarkan diri untuk menemui manajer

and you notice that one of your colleagues seems particularly deflated or anxious,

dan memintanya memundurkan sehari jadwal pertemuan

sehingga ada waktu kerja lebih.

you can acknowledge that and show some empathy,

Kau tunjukkan kepedulianmu terhadap kesuksesan dan juga kesehatan mereka.

but then try to give them something actionable

that they could hold on to.

Ketika kita bisa jujur akan apa yang kita rasakan,

And in this case,

you could suggest that you go to your manager

bebas memberi ide, membuat kesalahan,

and ask that your weekly meeting

be pushed back a day so you both have more time to work.

dan tidak menyembunyikan tiap bagian dari diri kita,

You're showing you're invested in their success,

kita akan cenderung bertahan lebih lama di perusahaan.

but also that you care about their well-being.

Kita juga lebih bahagia dan produktif.

When we can be honest about what we feel,

and freely suggest ideas, make mistakes

Jadi, ambillah jeda untuk merenungkan ekspresi emosional

and just not have to hide every piece of who we are,

yang kau bawa ke tempat kerja tiap harinya.

Bila curhatmu cenderung berlebih, coba saring lagi.

we're much more likely to stay at the company for a long time.

Jika kau cenderung tertutup,

We're also happier and more productive.

cari momen agar kau bisa terbuka dengan rekan kerjamu

So take a moment to reflect on the emotional expression

dan menjadi lebih sensitif.

Percayalah, akan ada perbedaan besar dari bagaimana orang meresponsmu

that you bring to work each day.

And if you are prone to oversharing, try editing.

dan kerentanan selektif akan jadi salah satu asetmu yang paling berharga.

And if you're a little bit more reserved,

look for moments when you can open up to your colleagues

and be a bit vulnerable.

And chances are, there will be a big difference

in how people respond to you.

And selective vulnerability might just become

one of your most valuable tools.