Shantell Martin: How drawing can set you free | TED

Translator: Shokhnur Akhmedov Reviewer: Nazarbek Nazarov

So here we are.

Demak, biz shu yerdamiz.

I'm at home, as I'm sure many of you are, too.

Men uydaman, aminmanki, sizlarning ko'pchiligingiz ham uydasiz.

And we've all begun to understand

Biz hammamiz tushunishni boshladik

how our relationship with ourselves,

qanday qilib bir-birimizga

with each other

bo'lgan aloqalarimiz

and the spaces we exist in

va biz yashaydigan joylar

can deeply impact our sense of identity and purpose.

o'ziga xoslik hissimiz va maqsadimizga qanchalik ta'sir qilishini.

So much has dramatically changed.

Ko'p narsa keskin o'zgardi.

There's a sense of distance now unlike ever before.

Hozirda har qachongidan ko'ra biz bir-birimizdan uzoqmiz.

But what if I told you

Lekin men sizga aytsam

that you could find a way from your heart to your hand

yuragingizdan qo'lingizgacha bo'lgan yo'lni topa olasiz

to reconnect again,

qayta bog'lanish uchun.

and that through this practice and embracing this cause,

Bu esa amaliyot orqali bo'ladi, borliqni qabul qilgan holda.

I could help you to recalibrate your mind

Sizga o'y-xayolingizni qayta ishga tushirishga yordam beraman

so that you could explore this new reality with joy,

bu yangi reallikni zavq,

enthusiasm, imagination and hope?

ishtiyoq, tasavvur va umid bilan qaytadan kashf qilishga.

And all it would take is a simple pen.

Buning uchun bor yog'i qalam kerak,

To get you there,

sizga yo'l ko'rsatish uchun.

let's go back to the beginning.

Boshidan boshlasam,

As a kid growing up in a council estate in Southeast London,

Bolaligim janubiy Londondagi nohiyada o'tgan.

I was an outsider.

Men boshqacha edim.

I'm the oldest of six kids,

Olti farzandning to'ng'ichi edim,

and all of my siblings look very English:

barchalarini qiyofasi haqiqiy inglizcha edi:

blond hair, blue eyes, very cute.

malla soch, ko'k ko'zlar, juda yoqimli.

And then there was me:

Buyoqda esa men:

half Nigerian, brown, with an Afro.

yarim nigeriyalik, jigarrang, va jingalak sochli.

So what happens when you look different

Agar boshqacha ko'rinsangiz nima bo'ladi?

and you feel different,

Boshqacha his qilsangiz,

and in many ways, start to think differently

ko'plab hollarda, boshqacha o'ylasangiz,

from everyone and everything around you?

atrofdagi hammadan ajralib tursangiz.

How do you find your way out of a dark, racist, homophobic

Qanday qilib qorong'ulik, irqchillik, gomofoblik, yolg'izlikdan chiqib,

and very lonely place?

o'z yo'lingizni topishingiz mumkin?

This is where the pen comes in.

Shu joyida qalam yordamga keladi.

I started to draw.

Men chizishni boshladim.

So as you can see, I've got this pen,

Ko'rib turganingizdek, menda bu qalam bor

and it knows where it's going.

va u o'z manzilini biladi.

And I've learned very well how to follow it.

Men esa unga qanday ergashishni juda yaxshi bilaman.

And the first thing I did is I followed this line,

Birinchi qilgan ishim, chiziq ortidan ergashdim,

and I drew myself out of a culture

va men o'zimni menga ishonmagan

that was only telling me what I couldn't do.

ushbu madaniyatdan xalos qildim.

I trusted my pen,

Men qalamimga ishondim

and it led me to Central Saint Martin's,

va u meni Sentral Saint Martinz ga yetakladi,

a very fancy art school in London,

Londondagi ajoyib san'at maktabi.

where I graduated top of my year.

va ayni yoshlik chog'imda bitirdim.

However, I soon realized there wasn't a place for me in London,

Lekin, shuni angladimki men uchun Londonda joy yo'q edi,

because whether you wish to believe it or not,

chunki, xoh ishoning, xoh ishonmang

England is still a country that is rooted and functions within

Angliya haligacha sinf tizimi chuqur ildiz otgan

the class system.

mamlakatdir.

And as a young, black, gay female artist from a working-class family,

Ishchi oiladan bo'lgan, yosh, qora tanli, gey rassom ayol sifatida,

I didn't stand a chance.

Menda imkoniyat yo'q edi.

So I left London and I moved to Japan,

Shuning uchun men Londonni tark etib, Yaponiyaga yo'l oldim.

where I didn't experience people asking me where I was really from.

U yerda meni qayerdan ekanligimning ahamiyati yo'q edi.

I was just another gaijin,

Men shunchaki bir "gaijin" edim,

which, ironically, means "outsider."

u "boshqacha" degan ma'noni bildiradi.

I was immersed in a culture that honors both making and craft,

Odamlar yaratuvchanlik va hunarni e'zozlaydigan madaniyatga singib ketdim.

where people perfect their craft over generations.

U yerda odamlar hunarini avlodlar davomida sayqallashtiradi.

It's a culture that masters both time and space,

Bu madaniyat ham joyning, ham vaqtning qadriga yetadi,

so that artists can truly create with freedom.

shuning uchun rassomlar erkinlik bilan ijod qila olishadi.

And what I discovered was a place I wasn't angry with.

Shu tarzda men bir joyni kashf qildim.

Tokyo hadn't wronged me in any way.

Tokioda umuman yomonlik ko'rmadim.

I could no longer create with anger

ijod qilish uchun g'azab

or out of pain.

yoki og'riq endi menda yo'q edi.

I had to bravely allow myself to create from a different place.

Men o'zimga boshqa joydan ijod qilishga izn berdim

And what I found is this incredible tool

va men ushbu ajoyib narsani topdim

transcended a line on paper.

qog'ozdagi chiziqlardan chiqib ketishni.

I found this thing

Men shu narsani topdim

that connected my head to my heart

va u boshimni yuragimga,

and my hand to everything.

qo'limni esa hamma narsaga bog'ladi.

I could see the world in new ways.

Men dunyoni o'zgacha nazar bilan ko'ra boshladim.

I found connections in corners

Men burchaklarda bog'liqlikni topdim

and the solutions to problems I never knew existed.

va o'zim oldin bilmagan muammolarga yechimlar topdim.

It's like the world with all its positive and negative spaces

bu xuddi shunday dunyoki, uning oq-qorasini

could now be seen.

shundoq ko'rish mumkin.

And just by seeing it,

Shunday ekan,

there was no longer any fear.

boshqa qo'rquv qolmadi.

It's like my pen was a flashlight,

Mening qalamim huddi fonusdek

and the unknown was still there,

va ko'plab narsalar hali noma'lum edi,

but it wasn't scary.

biroq bu qo'rqinchli emasdi.

After five years of living in Japan and focusing on my craft,

Besh yil Yaponiyada yashab, hunarimni rivojlantirganimdan keyin,

I felt like I needed a new challenge.

Menga endi yangi cho'qqilar kerak edi,

So I moved to New York,

Keyin Nyu-Yorkka ketdim,

because that's what you do as an artist, right?

chunki rassom sifatida shunday qilish kerak edi,

You move to the greatest city in the world

Dunyoning eng zo'r shahriga ko'chish,

that has the ability

shunga imkon berardiki

to make you feel completely and utterly invisible.

siz o'zingizni butunlay ko'rinmasdek his qilasiz.

This is when I began to truly ask myself,

Mana shu payt men o'zimdan so'ray boshladim,

"Who are you?"

"Sen kimsan o'zi?"

I would wake up in the morning, and before I began my day,

Tongda uyg'onib, kunimni boshlashdan oldin,

I would meditate on this.

Shu haqida chuqur o'ylardim.

And with this question in mind,

Shu hayol bilan

I kept drawing.

chizishni davom ettirdim.

I followed the line.

Men chiziq ortidan ergashdim

I let it lead the way.

va qalamim yo'l boshladi.

The process of picking up a pen,

Qalamni olishga

something everyone has access to,

hammaning imkoni bor.

the act of giving myself permission to let go

Men shunchaki o'zimni bo'sh qo'yardim,

of all thoughts, all fears, insecurities --

barcha o'y-xayol, qo'rquv, xatarlardan halos etib.

anything that would get in the way

Yo'limda uchragan har narsa,

of allowing myself to be completely me --

o'zligimga halaqit beradigan narsalar

that became my way of experiencing freedom.

o'ziga xos erkinlikni his qilishimimga olib keldi.

When I got to New York,

Nyu-Yorkka kelganimda,

I didn't want to play by the rules of the art world.

Men san'at qoidalariga rioya qilishni istamadim.

I continued my practice as an outsider.

Men o'zimning boshqacha bo'lgan san'atimni davom ettirdim

I kept drawing.

va chizishda davom etdim.

Curiosity became the ink for my pen,

Qiziquvchanlik qalamim uchun siyoh bo'ldi

and I continued to dive deeper.

va men chuqurroq shug'ullana boshladim.

Over time, I began to create a bold, confident space for myself,

Vaqt o'tib, o'zimga yaxshigina, ishonchli bo'sh joy yaratdim,

a space that was all my own.

faqat meniki bo'lgan bo'sh joy.

Initially, it was just my bedroom.

Boshida, bu shunchaki yotoqxonam edi.

But that bedroom ended up in "The New York Times,"

Ammo o'sha yotoqxonam. "Nyu-York Tayms" da tugadi

and suddenly, I was being seen and known

va kutilmaganda meni taniy boshlashdi

for this world I had created.

o'zim yaratgan dunyo uchun.

Since then,

O'shandan beri,

I've created and collaborated with some of the most unique artists,

eng atoqli rassomlar bilan hamkorlik qilib, ijod qildim,

institutions and spaces,

institutlar bilan ham,

from the screens of Times Square,

Tayms Skverdagi ekranlardan tortib,

to the New York City Ballet for their incredible artist series,

Nyu-York shahri Baletigacha, rassomchilik seriyalarida qatnashdim.

where I interviewed a number of dancers.

U yerda men bir qator raqqoslar bilan gaplshdim.

Their stories and words became the foundation

Ularning so'zlari va hikoyalari asos bo'lib xizmat qildi

of over 30 drawings and artworks,

30 dan ortiq chizmalar va san'at asarlari uchun,

which took over the promenade walls,

Ular tomosha devorlari,

windows and floors.

derazalar va pollarni qoplagan edi,

For a long time,

Uzoq vaqt davomida,

I wanted to create a space for contemplation and poetry.

Men o'y-xayol va she'riyat uchun joy yaratishni xohladim.

And in 2019,

2019-yilda esa,

I was given the opportunity to do just that

Menga shunday qilishga imkon berildi,

by the Trust of Governor's Island.

"Trast of Gavernors Ayland" tomonidan.

They provided me with the perfect canvas

Ular menga mukammal joy berishdi,

in the form of a former military chapel.

sobiq harbiy ibodatxona ko'rinishidagi.

Meet "The May Room."

"May oyi uyi" bilan tanishing.

With drawings on the exterior inspired by the history of the island,

Tashqi tarafdagi rasmlar "Ayland" tarixidan ilhomlanib chizilgan.

you walk inside, you take your shoes off,

Siz ichkariga kirib, oyog'ingizni yechasiz

and there's a drawing on the floor in the form of a maze

va polda labirinit shaklidagi rasmni ko'rasiz,

that brings you back to you.

u sizni o'zingizga olib boradi.

It's an invitation to become calm.

Bu tinchlanishga bo'lgan chaqiriqdir

And this allows you to see phrases on the wall.

va shu tarzda siz devorda so'zlarni ko'rinshingiz mumkin.

"May you be wise."

"Donishmand bo'ling."

"May you sleep soundly at night."

"Kechasi tinch uxlang."

"May we save trees."

"Daraxtlarni asraymiz."

"May you," "may you," "may we."

"Siz... ." "Siz... ."Biz... . "

And these phrases seem like they're rising from you

Bu so'zlar xuddi sizdan chiqayotgandek

or falling into you.

yoki sizga singib ketayotgandek.

I've let my lines become much like a language,

Men chizgan chizig'imga til bo'lishiga imkon berdim,

a language that has unfolded much like life.

xuddi hayot kabi ochilgan tilga o'xshab.

And when there has been silence,

Sukunat yuzaga kelganda,

I've sought connection through conversation,

Men suhbatdan bog'liqlik izladim,

asking questions to push through the discomfort.

Noqulaylikni yo'qotish uchun, savollar so'ragan holda.

Drawing has taught me how to create my own rules.

Chizish menga o'z qoidalarimni yaratishni o'rgatdi.

It has taught me to open my eyes to see not only what is,

u meni ko'zimni ochdi, nafaqat bor narsalarni ko'rishni,

but what can be.

balki nima bo'laolishini ham

And where there are broken systems,

va darz ketgan tizimlar bo'lsa,

we can create new ones that actually function and benefit all,

biz yangilarini yaratamiz, ish beradigan va hammaga foydasi tegadiganini,

instead of just a select few.

ozchilikdan tanlagandan ko'ra.

Drawing has taught me how to fully engage with the world.

Chizish menga dunyo bilan qanday aloqa qilishni o'rgatdi

And what I've come to realize through this language of lines

va chizgan chiziqlarimni tilidan shuni angladimki,

is not the importance of being seen,

eng muhumi tanilishda emas,

but rather the gift of seeing that we give to others

balki biz boshqalarga nima bera olishimzda

and how true freedom is the ability to see.

va erkinlik orqali ko'ra olish imkonida.

And I don't mean that literally,

Bu to'g'ridan-to'g'ri ma'nodamas,

because sight is only one way in which one can see.

Chunki ko'z bila ko'rish, ko'rishning bir tomonidir.

But what I mean is to experience the world in its entirety,

Aytmoqchi bo'lganim, dunyoni to'laligicha tajribada his qilishdir,

maybe even more so during the most challenging moments

yoki, yanada qiyin sinovlar paytida,

like the one we face today.

xuddi biz bugun duch kelgan sinovdagidek.

I'm Shantell Martin.

Men Shantell Martinman.

I draw.

Men rasm chizaman

And I invite you to pick up a pen

va men sizni qalam tutishga chaqiraman.

and see where it takes you.

U sizni qayerga yetaklashini ko'ring.

(Music)

(Musiqa)