What comes after tragedy? Forgiveness | Azim Khamisa and Ples Felix

Prevodilac: Ivana Krivokuća Lektor: Tijana Mihajlović

Azim Khamisa: We humans have many defining moments in our lives.

Azim Kamisa: Mi, ljudi, u životu imamo mnogo trenutaka koji nas definišu.

Sometimes these moments are joyous,

Ponekad su ti trenuci radosni,

and sometimes they are heartbreaking,

a ponekad uznemiruju,

tragic.

tragični su.

But at these defining moments, if we are able to make the right choice,

Ali u ovim definišućim momentima, ako smo u stanju da donesemo pravu odluku,

we literally manifest a miracle

bukvalno manifestujemo čudo

in us and others.

u sebi i drugima.

My only son Tariq, a university student,

Moj sin jedinac Tarik, student,

kind, generous, a good writer, a good photographer,

prijatan, darežljiv, dobar pisac, dobar fotograf,

had aspirations to work for National Geographic,

imao je ambicije da radi za Nacionalnu geografiju,

engaged to a beautiful lady,

bio je veren sa prelepom damom,

worked as a pizza deliveryman on Fridays and Saturdays.

radio je kao dostavljač pice petkom i subotom.

He was lured to a bogus address

Namamila ga je na lažnu adresu omladinska banda.

by a youth gang.

And in a gang initiation,

U okviru inicijacije bande,

a 14-year-old shot and killed him.

četrnaestogodišnjak je pucao i ubio ga.

The sudden, senseless death

Iznenadna, besmislena smrt

of an innocent, unarmed human being;

nevinog, nenaoružanog ljudskog bića;

the overwhelming grief of a family;

ogromna tuga porodice;

the total confusion as you try to absorb a new, hideous reality.

potpuna konfuzija dok pokušavate da apsorbujete novu, groznu stvarnost.

Needless to say it brought my life to a crashing halt.

Da ne pominjem da je to skrhalo moj život.

One of the hardest things I've ever had to do

Jedna od najtežih stvari koje sam morao da uradim

was to call his mother, who lived in a different city.

je da pozovem njegovu majku koja je živela u drugom gradu.

How do you tell a mother she's never going to see her son again,

Kako reći majci da nikada više neće videti svog sina,

or hear him laugh,

čuti ga kako se smeje,

or give him a hug?

zagrliti ga?

I practice as a Sufi Muslim.

Upražnjavam veru kao musliman sufista.

I meditate two hours a day.

Meditiram dva sata dnevno.

And sometimes,

Ponekad,

in deep trauma and deep tragedy,

u trenucima duboke traume i tragedije,

there is a spark of clarity.

javi se iskra jasnoće.

So what I downloaded in my meditation

Ono što sam izvukao kroz svoju meditaciju

is that there were victims at both ends of the gun.

je da su žrtve postojale sa obe strane pištolja.

It's easy to see that my son was a victim of the 14-year-old,

Lako je videti da je moj sin bio žrtva tog četrnaestogodišnjaka,

a little bit complicated to see that he was a victim of American society.

a malo je komplikovanije videti da je on žrtva američkog društva.

And that begs the question, well, who is American society?

A to povlači sa sobom pitanje: pa, ko predstavlja američko društvo?

Well, it's you and me,

Pa, to smo vi i ja,

because I don't believe that society is just happenstance.

jer ne mislim da je društvo prosto stvar slučaja.

I think we are all responsible for the society we've created.

Mislim da smo svi mi odgovorni za društvo koje smo stvorili.

And children killing children is not a mark of a civil society.

A deca koja ubijaju decu nisu znak građanskog društva.

So nine months after Tariq died,

Devet meseci nakon što je Tarik umro

I started the Tariq Khamisa Foundation

osnovao sam fondaciju Tarik Kamisa,

and our mandate at the Tariq Khamisa Foundation

i naša je obaveza u fondaciji Tarik Kamisa

is to stop kids from killing kids

da sprečimo da deca ubijaju decu

by breaking the cycle of youth violence.

tako što prekidamo ciklus nasilja među mladima.

And essentially we have three mandates.

U suštini imamo tri misije.

Our first and foremost is to save lives of children.

Prva i najvažnija je da spasimo živote dece.

It's important to do. We lose so many on a daily basis.

Važno je da to uradimo. Toliko njih izgubimo svakoga dana.

Our second mandate

Naša druga misija

is to empower the right choices so kids don't fall through the cracks

je da učvrstimo prave odluke tako da kod dece ne dođe do propusta

and choose lives of gangs and crime and drugs and alcohol and weapons.

i da odaberu život bandi, kriminala, droga, alkohola i oružja.

And our third mandate is to teach the principles of nonviolence,

A naša treća misija je da podučavamo principima nenasilja,

of empathy, of compassion,

empatije, saosećanja, oproštaja.

of forgiveness.

And I started with a very simple premise

Počeo sam vrlo jednostavnom premisom

that violence is a learned behavior.

da je nasilje naučeno ponašanje.

No child was born violent.

Nijedno dete nije rođeno nasilno.

If you accept that as a truism,

Ako prihvatite to kao nešto što se podrazumeva,

nonviolence can also be a learned behavior,

nenasilje takođe može biti naučeno ponašanje,

but you have to teach it,

ali morate podučavati tome,

because kids are not going to learn that

jer deca to neće naučiti

through osmosis.

kroz izloženost.

Soon after that, I reached out to my brother here,

Ubrzo potom sam se obratio svom bratu ovde,

with the attitude that we had both lost a son.

kroz poziciju zajedničkog gubitka sina.

My son died.

Moj sin je umro.

He lost his grandson to the adult prison system.

On je izgubio svog unuka kroz zatvorski sistem za odrasle.

And I asked him to join me.

Pitao sam ga da mi se pridruži.

As you see, 22 years later, we are still here together,

Kao što vidite, 22 godine kasnije, još smo ovde zajedno,

because I can't bring Tariq back from the dead,

jer ja ne mogu da vratim Tarika iz mrtvih,

you can't take Tony out of prison,

ti ne možeš da izvučeš Tonija iz zatvora,

but the one thing we can do

ali ono što možemo je da se postaramo

is make sure no other young people in our community

da nijedna druga mlada osoba iz naše zajednice

end up dead or end up in prison.

ne završi mrtva ili u zatvoru.

With the grace of God,

Uz božju pomoć,

the Tariq Khamisa Foundation has been successful.

Fondacija Tarika Kamise bila je uspešna.

We have a safe school model

Imamo model bezbedne škole

which has four different programs.

koji ima četiri različita programa.

The first one is a live assembly with Ples and me.

Prvi je sastanak uživo sa Plesom i sa mnom.

We are introduced,

Predstave nas -

this man's grandson killed this man's son,

unuk ovog čoveka ubio je sina ovog čoveka

and here they are together.

i ovde su zajedno.

We have in-classroom curriculum.

Imamo nastavni program u okviru učionice.

We have an after school mentoring program, and we create a peace club.

Imamo mentorski program posle škole i pravimo klub mira.

And I'm happy to share with you

Sa zadovoljstvom ću vam reći

that besides teaching these principles of nonviolence,

da smo pored podučavanja ovim principima nenasilja

we are able to cut suspensions and expulsions by 70 percent,

uspeli da smanjimo privremena isključivanja

i izbacivanja iz škole za 70 posto,

which is huge.

što je velika stvar.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

Which is huge.

Što je velika stvar.

Five years after Tariq died,

Pet godina nakon što je Tarik umro,

and for me to complete my journey of forgiveness,

da bih završio svoje putovanje oproštaja,

I went to see the young man who killed my son.

otišao sam da vidim mladića koji je ubio mog sina.

He was 19 years old.

Imao je 19 godina.

And I remember that meeting because we were --

Sećam se tog susreta jer smo -

he's 37, still in prison --

on ima 37 godina, još je u zatvoru -

but at that first meeting, we locked eyeballs.

ali pri tom prvom susretu gledali smo se netremice.

I'm looking in his eyes, he's looking in my eyes,

Gledam ga u oči, gleda on mene u oči,

and I'm looking in his eyes trying to find a murderer, and I didn't.

i gledam u njegove oči pokušavajući da nađem ubicu, ali nisam.

I was able to climb through his eyes

Uspeo sam da prodrem kroz njegove oči

and touch his humanity that I got

i doprem do njegove ljudskosti koju sam spoznao,

that the spark in him was no different than the spark in me

da se iskra u njemu ne razlikuje od iskre u meni

or anybody else here.

niti u bilo kome drugom ovde.

So I wasn't expecting that. He was remorseful.

To nisam očekivao. Kajao se.

He was articulate. He was well-mannered.

Bio je rečit. Bio je učtiv.

And I could tell that my hand of forgiveness had changed him.

Video sam da ga je promenila moja ruka oproštaja.

So with that, please welcome my brother, Ples.

Molim vas da poželite dobrodošlicu mom bratu Plesu.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

Ples Felix: Tony is my one and only daughter's one and only child.

Ples Feliks: Toni je prvo i jedino dete moje ćerke.

Tony was born to my daughter,

Tonija je rodila moja ćerka

who was 15 when she gave birth to Tony.

koja je tada imala 15 godina.

Mothering is the toughest job on the planet.

Majčinstvo je najteži posao na svetu.

There is no tougher job on the planet than raising another human being

Nema težeg posla na svetu od podizanja drugog ljudskog bića

and making sure they're safe, secure

i staranja o tome da je sigurno, bezbedno

and well-positioned to be successful in life.

i u dobroj situaciji da bude uspešno u životu.

Tony experienced a lot of violence in his life as a young kid.

Toni je doživeo mnogo nasilja u svom životu kada je bio mali.

Video je kako su ubili jednog od njegovih omiljenih rođaka

He saw one of his favorite cousins

be murdered in a hail of automatic weapon fire

paljbom iz automatskog oružja

and gang involvement in Los Angeles.

u kojoj je bila umešana banda u Los Anđelesu.

He was very traumatized in so many different ways.

Bio je veoma traumiran na toliko različitih načina.

Tony came to live with me.

Toni je došao da živi sa mnom.

I wanted to make sure he had everything a kid needed

Hteo sam da se postaram da ima sve što je detetu potrebno

to be successful.

da bi bilo uspešno.

But on this particular evening,

Ali, te konkretne večeri,

after years of being with me

nakon godina koje je proveo sa mnom i silne borbe da bude uspešan

and struggling mightily to try to be successful

and to live up to my expectations of being a successful person,

i da ispuni moja očekivanja da bude uspešna osoba,

on this one particular day, Tony ran away from home that evening,

tog konkretnog dana, Toni je uveče pobegao od kuće.

he went to be with people he thought were his friends,

Otišao je da bude sa ljudima za koje je mislio da su mu drugovi,

he was given drugs and alcohol

dali su mu drogu i alkohol

and he took them

i on je prihvatio

because he thought they would make him feel carefree.

jer je mislio da će od njih biti bezbrižan.

But all it did was to make his anxiety go higher

Ali od toga se samo povećala njegova anksioznost

and to create a more ...

i kod njega je nastalo još...

more deadly thinking on his part.

još kobnije razmišljanje.

He was invited to a robbery,

Pozvali su ga u pljačku,

he was given a 9mm handgun.

dali mu pištolj od 9 mm.

And at the presence of an 18-year-old who commanded him

I u prisustvu mladića od 18 godina koji mu je naređivao

and two 14-year-old boys he thought were his friends,

i dvojice dečaka od 14 godina za koje je mislio da su mu drugovi,

he shot and killed Tariq Khamisa,

pucao je u Tarika Kamisu i ubio ga,

this man's son.

sina ovog čoveka.

There are no words, there are no words

Nema reči, ne postoje reči

that can express the loss of a child.

koje mogu da opišu gubitak deteta.

At my understanding that my grandson was responsible

Kada sam shvatio da je moj unuk odgovoran

for the murder of this human being,

za ubistvo ovog ljudskog bića,

I went to the prayer closet, like I was taught by my old folks,

otišao sam u odaju za molitve, kao što su me učili moji stari,

and began to pray and meditate.

i počeo da se molim i meditiram.

The one thing that Mr. Khamisa and I have in common,

Ono što gospodin Kamisa i ja imamo zajedničko,

and we didn't know this, besides being wonderful human beings,

a to nismo znali, osim što smo sjajna ljudska bića,

je to da obojica meditiramo.

is that we both meditate.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

It was very helpful for me

To mi je bilo jako korisno

because it offered me an opportunity to seek guidance and clarity

jer mi je dalo mogućnost da nađem smernice i jasnost

about how I wanted to be of support of this man and his family in this loss.

u pogledu toga kako hoću da budem podrška u gubitku ovom čoveku u njegovoj porodici.

And sure enough, my prayers were answered,

I zasigurno, moje molitve su uslišene,

because I was invited to a meeting at this man's house,

jer sam pozvan na okupljanje u kući ovog čoveka,

met his mother, his father,

upoznao njegovu majku, oca,

his wife, his brother, met their family

ženu, brata, upoznao njihovu porodicu

and had a chance to be in the presence of God-spirited people led by this man,

i imao priliku da budem u prisustvu ljudi božjeg duha koje predvodi ovaj čovek,

who in the spirit of forgiveness,

a koji mi je u duhu oproštaja

made way, made an opportunity for me

otvorio put, pružio mogućnost

to be of value and to share with him and to share with children

da budem od koristi, da podelim sa njime i sa decom

the importance of understanding the need to be with a responsible adult,

značaj shvatanja potrebe da budu uz odgovornu odraslu osobu,

focus on your anger in a way that's healthy,

da se fokusiraju na svoj bes na zdrav način,

learn to meditate.

da nauče da meditiraju.

The programs that we have in the Tariq Khamisa Foundation

Programi koje imamo u Fondaciji Tarika Kamise

provide so many tools for the kids to put in their toolkit

pružaju toliko sredstava koja deca mogu imati na raspolaganju

so they could carry them throughout their lives.

tako da ih nose sa sobom tokom celog života.

It's important that our children understand that loving, caring adults

Važno je da naša deca razumeju da je brižnim odraslima punim ljubavi

care for them and support them,

stalo do njih i da ih podržavaju,

but it's also important that our children learn to meditate,

ali je takođe važno da naša deca nauče da meditiraju,

learn to be peaceful,

da nauče da budu staložena,

learn to be centered

da budu uravnotežena

and learn to interact with the other children

i da komuniciraju sa drugom decom

in a kind, empathetic

na ljubazan, empatičan način

and wonderfully loving way.

i sa puno ljubavi.

We need more love in our society

Potrebno nam je više ljubavi u društvu

and that's why we are here to share the love with children,

i zato smo ovde da podelimo ljubav sa decom,

because our children will lead the way for us,

jer naša deca će nas voditi,

because all of us will depend on our children.

jer svi zavisimo od naše dece.

As we grow older and retire, they will take over this world for us,

Kada mi ostarimo i penzionišemo se, oni će preuzeti svet umesto nas,

so as much love as we teach them, they will give it back to us.

tako da će nam vratiti onoliko ljubavi koliko ih mi naučimo.

Blessings. Thank you.

Šaljem vam blagoslov. Hvala.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

AK: So I was born in Kenya, I was educated in England,

AK: Rođen sam u Keniji, školovao sam se u Engleskoj,

and my brother here is a Baptist.

a moj brat ovde je baptista.

I practice as a Sufi Muslim.

Ponašam se kao musliman sufija.

He's African American,

On je Afroamerikanac,

but I always tell him, I'm the African American in the group.

ali uvek mu kažem da sam ja Afroamerikanac u ekipi.

I was born in Africa. You were not.

Rođen sam u Africi. Ti nisi.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And I naturalized as a citizen.

I prihvatio sam državljanstvo.

I'm a first-generation citizen.

Iz prve sam generacije državljana.

And I felt that, as an American citizen,

I smatrao sam da, kao američki državljanin,

I must take my share of the responsibility

moram preuzeti svoj deo odgovornosti

for the murder of my son.

za ubistvo svog sina.

Why? Because it was fired by an American child.

Zašto? Zato što je pucalo američko dete.

You could take the position, he killed my one and only son,

Možete zauzeti poziciju da ga, pošto je ubio mog sina jedinca,

he should be hung from the highest pole.

treba obesiti sa najvišeg stuba.

How does that improve society?

Kako to poboljšava društvo?

And I know you are probably wondering what happened to that young man.

Znam da se verovatno pitate šta se desilo sa tim mladićem.

He's still in prison. He just turned 37 on September 22,

Još uvek je u zatvoru.

Upravo je napunio 37 godina 22. septembra, ali imam dobre vesti.

but I have some good news.

We've been trying to get him out for 12 years.

Dvanaest godina pokušavamo da ga izvučemo napolje.

He finally will join us a year from now.

Konačno će nam se pridružiti za godinu dana.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

And I'm very excited to have him join us,

Vrlo sam uzbuđen što će nam se pridružiti,

because I know we've saved him,

jer znam da smo ga spasili,

but he will save tens of thousands of students

ali spasićemo desetine hiljada učenika

when he shares his testimony

kada on iznese svoj iskaz

in schools that we are present at on a regular basis.

u školama u kojima smo stalno prisutni.

When he says to the kids, "When I was 11, I joined a gang.

Kada kaže deci: „Kada sam imao 11 godina, priključio sam se bandi.

When I was 14, I murdered Mr. Khamisa's son.

Sa 14 godina, ubio sam sina gospodina Kamise.

I've spent the last umpteen years in prison.

Proveo sam poslednjih mnogo godina u zatvoru.

I'm here to tell you: it's not worth it,"

Ovde sam da vam kažem da nije vredno toga“,

do you think the kids will listen to that voice?

mislite li da će deca poslušati taj glas?

Yes, because his intonations

Da, jer će intonacije tog glasa

will be of a person that pulled the trigger.

proisteći iz osobe koja je povukla okidač.

And I know that he wants to turn the clock back.

A znam da on želi da vrati vreme unazad.

Of course, that's not possible.

Naravno, to nije moguće.

I wish it was. I would have my son back.

Voleo bih da jeste. Ponovo bih imao sina.

My brother would have his grandson back.

Mom bratu bi se vratio unuk.

So I think that demonstrates the power of forgiveness.

Mislim da to demonstrira moć oproštaja.

So what's the big takeaway here?

Šta je glavna poenta u ovome?

So I want to end our session with this quote,

Hteo bih da završim našu sesiju ovim citatom

which is the basis of my fourth book,

koji je osnova za moju četvrtu knjigu,

which incidentally,

a za koju je, uzgred,

the foreword for that book was written by Tony.

predgovor napisao Toni.

So it goes like this: sustained goodwill creates friendship.

Ide ovako: kontinuirana dobra volja stvara prijateljstvo.

You don't make friends by bombing them, right?

Ne stičete prijatelje tako što ih bombardujete, zar ne?

You make friends by extending goodwill.

Stičete prijatelje tako što ukazujete dobru volju.

That ought to be obvious.

To mora da je jasno.

So sustained goodwill creates friendship,

Tako, kontinuirana dobra volja stvara prijateljstvo,

sustained friendship creates trust,

kontinuirano prijateljstvo stvara poverenje,

sustained trust creates empathy,

kontinuirano poverenje stvara empatiju,

sustained empathy creates compassion,

kontinuirana empatija stvara saosećanje,

and sustained compassion creates peace.

a kontinuirano saosećanje stvara mir.

I call this my peace formula.

Ovo nazivam svojom formulom za mir.

It starts with goodwill, friendship, trust, empathy, compassion and peace.

Počinje uz dobru volju, prijateljstvo, poverenje, empatiju, saosećanje i mir.

But people ask me, how do you extend goodwill

Ali ljudi me pitaju kako ukazati dobru volju

to the person who murdered your child?

osobi koja vam je ubila dete.

I tell them, you do that through forgiveness.

Kažem im da se to radi kroz opraštanje.

As it's evident it worked for me.

Kao što je očigledno, uspelo je kod mene.

It worked for my family.

Uspelo je u mojoj porodici.

What's a miracle is it worked for Tony,

Čudesno je to što je delovalo i kod Tonija, kod njegove porodice,

it worked for his family,

it can work for you and your family,

a može da deluje i kod vas, u vašoj porodici,

for Israel and Palestine, North and South Korea,

u slučaju Izraela i Palestine, Severne i Južne Koreje,

for Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran and Syria.

Iraka, Avganistana, Irana i Sirije.

It can work for the United States of America.

Može delovati i u SAD-u.

So let me leave you with this, my sisters,

Zaključiću ovim, moje sestre

and a couple of brothers --

i nekolicino braće -

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

that peace is possible.

da je mir moguć.

How do I know that?

Kako to znam?

Because I am at peace.

Jer sam ja u miru.

Thank you very much. Namaste.

Mnogo vam hvala. Namaste.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)