For the love of fangirls | Yve Blake

Prevodilac: Kristina Radosavljević Lektor: Ivana Krivokuća

Four years ago,

Pre četiri godine,

a teenage girl changed my life

jedna tinejdžerka mi je promenila život

in one conversation.

samo jednim razgovorom.

She was 13 years old,

Imala je 13 godina,

she was a friend's little cousin

drugarica moje male rođake,

and she casually told me

koja mi je neobavezno rekla

that she had met the man she was going to marry.

da je našla čoveka za koga će se udati.

So I said, "OK, tell me about him."

Rekla sam: „Dobro, pričaj mi o njemu.”

And she told me that his name was Harry Styles.

Rekla mi je da se on zove Hari Stajls.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

So I laughed a little, like you,

I ja sam se malo nasmejala, baš kao vi,

and then she said, "I know you don't think I'm serious,

a onda je ona rekla: „Znam da me ne shvataš ozbiljno,

but I'm actually going to be with him.

ali ja ću stvarno biti sa njim.

Because I love him so much

Zato što ga toliko volim

that I would slit someone's throat to be with him."

da bih zaklala nekog samo da bih bila s njim.”

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And that was the moment

To je bio momenat

that I became obsessed with fangirls.

kada sam postala opsednuta obožavateljkama.

I didn't know it then,

Tada nisam znala

but that moment would transform the course of my life

da će taj momenat promeniti tok mog života

and go on to change everything that I thought I knew

i izmeniti sve što sam mislila da sam znala

about being an adult,

o tome kako je biti odrasla osoba,

being a woman

biti žena

and being truly happy.

i biti istinski srećan.

But before we get started,

Ali pre nego što počnemo,

what is a fangirl,

šta je obožavateljka,

and what is a Harry Styles?

i šta je Hari Stajls?

Well, according to the dictionary, the Merriam-Webster dictionary,

Prema rečniku Merijam-Vebster,

a fangirl is a "girl or woman

obožavateljka je „devojka ili žena

who is an extremely or overly enthusiastic fan

koja je ekstremno ili preterano oduševljeni obožavalac

of someone or something."

nekoga ili nečega.”

Technically, you can have fangirls of anything,

Tehnički, možete biti obožavateljka svega i svačega,

but my specific interest was in fangirls of boy bands.

ali moje interesovanje su posebno budile obožavateljke dečačkih bendova.

Because of their somewhat lethal reputation.

Zbog njihove, nazovimo, ubitačne reputacije.

I remember, my dad had told me this story of some Beatles fans in the '60s,

Sećam se da mi je otac pričao kako su neke obožavateljke Bitlsa '60-ih godina

who apparently had torn a parked BMW to literal pieces,

rasturile parkiran be-em-ve na komade,

because the band had supposedly just been sat in it.

samo zato što je bend navodno sedeo u njemu.

In the '60s, the Beatles were the biggest boy band on the planet,

Tih '60-ih Bitlsi su bili najveći dečački bend na planeti,

but when I met this girl in 2015,

ali kada sam upoznala tu devojku 2015. godine,

the biggest boy band on the planet was none other than One Direction.

najveći dečački bend na planeti je bio niko drugi do One Direction.

And Harry Styles was a member of One Direction.

Hari Stajls je bio član te grupe.

Harry Styles was reputed for his compassionate demeanor

Hari Stajls je bio poznat po svojoj saosećajnosti

and perfect hair.

i perfektnoj kosi.

I learn this when I read thousands of tweets about him.

To sam saznala nakon što sam pročitala na hiljade tvitova o njemu.

I learn that he is a sweet cupcake.

Saznala sam da je pravi slatkiš.

I learn that he is a perfect angel.

Saznala sam da je savršeni anđeo.

I learn that one time,

Saznala sam da je jednom

he vomited on the side of a freeway in California

povratio na auto-putu u Kaliforniji,

and that within two hours,

i da su u roku od dva sata

fans had turned the site of the vomit into a sacred shrine.

obožavatelji pretvorili mesto povraćanja u svetilište.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

I scroll through --

Prelistavam -

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

I scroll through fan-made paintings of Harry,

Prelistavam Harijeve slike koje su napravili obožavaoci,

baby photos of him,

njegove fotografije kada je bio beba,

paintings of baby photos of him.

slike njegovih fotografija kada je bio beba.

I watch videos that show me how to make DIY love totems for Harry --

Gledam snimke kako napraviti „uradi sam” ljubavne toteme za Harija -

for example, a lampshade covered in photos of his face,

na primer, abažur prekriven fotografijama njegovog lica,

or a key ring that states the exact time of his birth.

ili privezak za ključeve koji sadrži tačno vreme njegovog rođenja.

I read hours of fan fiction,

Satima čitam fikcije obožavatelja,

and I fall down this specific rabbit hole

i propadam u posebnu zečiju rupu

of stories that actually place me as a protagonist

priča u kojima sam glavni junak

inside of various imagined romances with him.

u raznim zamišljenim romansama sa njim.

So in one, I tell him that I'm pregnant with his child.

Tako mu u jednoj kažem da nosim njegovo dete.

In another, we meet in hospital where we're both fighting cancer,

U drugoj se srećemo u bolnici gde se oboje borimo sa rakom,

and in another, we fall so deeply in love

a u sledećoj se toliko ludo zaljubljujemo

that we become fugitives who kill people.

da postanemo begunci koji ubijaju ljude.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

But then ...

Ali onda...

something unthinkable happens.

se nešto nezamislivo desilo.

One Direction, the biggest boy band on the planet,

One Direction, najveći dečački bend na planeti,

loses a member.

gubi člana.

Zayn Malik quits the band,

Zejn Malik napušta bend,

and the internet explodes with feels.

i internet biva preplavljen emocijama.

I read tweets as these girls describe the physical pain of this loss,

Čitam tvitove tih devojaka koje opisuju fizički bol zbog ovog gubitka,

how they can't eat or sleep or walk.

kako ne mogu da jedu, spavaju ili hodaju.

I read them describe how much Zayn had meant to them.

Čitam kako opisuju koliko im je Zejn značio.

And I watch videos of 10-year-old girls crying.

Gledam snimke desetogodišnjih uplakanih devojčica.

But, like, really crying.

Ali stvarno uplakanih.

And then I watch as people repost these videos but with new titles

Onda gledam kako ljudi dele te snimke i stavljaju nove naslove

koji sadrže reči kao što su „ludilo”, „jezivo” i „sumanuto”.

that contain words like "crazy" and "creepy" and "insane."

And suddenly, my YouTube sidebar contains

Odjednom, moja bočna traka na Jutjubu sadrži

"Compilation: Fans react to Zayn leaving.

„Kompilacija: Obožavaoci reaguju na Zejnov odlazak.

Psycho alert!"

Upaljena lampica za ludake!”

Then I watch as mainstream news outlets cover the story.

Zatim gledam udarne vesti kako prenose ovu priču.

I read them describe these "young banshees."

Čitam kako ih opisuju kao „mlade narikače”.

I read one journalist say,

Čitam kako jedan novinar kaže:

"It's a commonly known fact since the age of the Beatles

„To je opšte poznata činjenica još od vremena Bitlsa,

that there is nothing scarier in this world

da nema ničeg strašnijeg na svetu

than a group of excited teenage girls."

od grupe uzbuđenih tinejdžerki.”

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And then I ask myself a question I've never considered in my life.

Onda postavim sebi pitanje o kome nikada ranije nisam razmišljala.

Why is it that the image of young girls screaming their lungs out with excitement

Zašto se prizor devojaka koje vrište na sav glas od uzbuđenja

for a pop star

za nekom pop zvezdom

is considered crazy, psycho,

smatra šašavim, ludim,

scary, a bit much?

zastrašujućim, malo preteranim?

But the image of young boys screaming their lungs out for a footballer

A slika mladića koji vrište na sav glas za fudbalerom

is perfectly normal?

je sasvim normalna stvar?

Boys crying at the footie,

Momci koji plaču na utakmici,

that's the love of the game.

to je ljubav prema igri.

Girls crying at a Justin Bieber concert?

Devojke plaču na koncertu Džastina Bibera?

That's pathetic.

To je patetika.

And as soon as I realized this double standard,

Čim sam uočila duple standarde,

I realized that all of my curiosity about fangirls

postalo mi je jasno da je sva moja radoznalost oko obožavateljki

had been sparked by exactly the same judgments.

bila prošarana upravo istim ovim predrasudama.

I, too, had suspected that they were a bit crazy.

I ja sam sumnjala da su pomalo šašave.

I'd looked at images of girls screaming for the Beatles,

Gledala sam slike devojaka

kako vrište za Bitlsima, Bekstrit bojsima, grupom One Direction,

the Backstreet Boys, One Direction,

and the word that had come to mind was not "excitement"

i reč koja mi je padala na pamet nije bila „uzbuđenje”

but "hysteria."

nego „histerija”.

And what I did not know was the history of that word.

Ono što nisam znala je istorijat te reči.

That in the 19th century,

Da je u 19. veku

hysteria was considered to be a legitimate female mental disorder

histerija posmatrana kao priznati mentalni poremećaj žena

that could be diagnosed by doctors

koji bi doktor dijagnostikovao

if women displayed excessive emotion or difficult behavior.

ako je žena pokazivala prejake emocije ili imala problematično ponašanje.

The word "hysterical" comes from the Latin word "hystericus,"

Reč „histeričan” dolazi od latinske reči „histerikus”

meaning "of the womb,"

koja znači „iz materice”,

because it was thought that this condition was caused by a dysfunction of the uterus.

zato što je smatrano da su ovi problemi prouzrokovani poremećajem rada materice.

And so, a treatment for hysteria

Tako da je tretman za lečenje histerije

was a hysterectomy.

bila histerektomija.

Which is what we still call a removal of the womb.

Kako i dalje nazivamo odstranjivanje materice.

And at this point,

U tom momentu

I decide to redeclare my obsession.

odlučujem da prepravim svoju opsesiju.

Because I am no longer just obsessed with fangirls.

Pošto više nisam opsednuta samo obožavateljkama.

Now, I'm obsessed with the way that the world talks about fangirls

Sada sam opsednuta i načinima na koji svet priča o obožavateljkama

and the way that the world looks at young, female enthusiasm.

i načinu na koji svet posmatra mladalački, ženski entuzijazam.

Because, I want to know,

Zato što želim da znam,

if girls grow up in a world

ako devojke odrastaju u svetu

where words like "crazy" and "psycho" and "hysterical" are casually used

gde se reči „šašav”, „lud” i „histeričan” paušalno koriste

to describe female enthusiasm,

prilikom opisivanja ženskog entuzijazma,

then how does that shape the way that those girls get to see themselves?

kako to oblikuje način na koji te devojke vide sebe?

And if girls grow up in a world that tells them

Ako devojke odrastaju u svetu koji im govori

that they are designed just a bit crazier than the boys,

da su napravljene malo luđe od dečaka,

then isn't that a little bit like telling them

nije li to malo kao da im govore

that they are born less capable of rationality than men,

da su rođene sa manje sposobnosti da razmišljaju racionalno od muškaraca,

less capable of reason

da su manje razumne,

and unworthy of the same intellectual respect as their brothers.

i nedostojne istog intelektualnog poštovanja u odnosu na njihovu braću?

Separately, I become obsessed with female screams.

Mimo ovoga, postala sam opsednuta i ženskim vriscima.

Not in a creepy way.

Ne na čudan način.

I'm talking about, like, those shrieks and squeals

Govorim o onom vrištanju i cvilenju

that fangirls let out at concerts.

koje obožavateljke ispuštaju na koncertima.

I want to know why it is

Želim da znam zašto

that some people instinctively flinch when I merely describe the sound,

se neki ljudi instiktivno naježe kada samo spomenem taj zvuk,

like it's painful just to think about it.

kao da je bolno čak i razmišljati o tome.

Then I meet Amy Hume.

Onda sam srela Ejmi Hjum.

She's a voice coach.

Ona je trener za glas.

And she blows my mind.

Ona mi je otvorila vidike.

Because she tells me that the female voice

Rekla mi je da je ženski glas

between the ages of 11 and 13

u dobi između 11 i 13 godina

is one of the most interesting things to study.

jedna od najinteresantnijih stvari za proučavanje.

Why?

Zašto?

Because there's this research by Carol Gilligan

Zato što postoji istraživanje Karol Giligan

koje govori da u toj dobi

that says that is the age

when girls begin to perform and alter their voices.

devojčice počinju da ispoljavaju i menjaju svoje glasove.

For example, adding breath for maturity,

Na primer, da dodaju dah kako bi delovale starije,

(Imitating vocal fry) or adding vocal fry for apathy.

(imitiranje hrapavosti) ili dodaju hrapavost za apatiju.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

But tell me, according to this research,

Ali recite mi, prema tom istraživanju,

when do you reckon boys begin to perform and alter their voices?

kada računate da dečaci počnu sa ispoljavanjem i menjanjem glasova?

Now, I guessed 18,

Pretpostavljala sam u 18. godini,

because "men mature later," right?

s obzirom na to da „muškarci kasnije sazrevaju”, zar ne?

Wrong.

Pogrešno.

The answer was four years old.

Odgovor je bio: sa četiri godine.

Because that is when boys learn not to cry or squeal.

Zato što je to vreme kada dečaci nauče da ne plaču i ne cvile.

That those are not manly sounds.

Da to nisu muževni zvukovi.

And that's when I realized

Tada sam shvatila

da je vrisak obožavateljki u stvari supermoć.

that a fangirl's shriek is therefore like a superpower.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Because it's this fearless and honest expression

Zato što je to neustrašivi i iskreni odraz

of pure celebration and joy,

čiste radosti i sreće.

and it's a sound

i to je zvuk

they have not forgotten how to make.

koji one nisu zaboravile kako da proizvode.

I actually reckon that fangirls have a second superpower,

Procenila sam da obožavateljke imaju i drugu supermoć,

because they know how to do something

zato što umeju da urade nešto

that most of my adult friends have no idea how to do.

što većina mojih odraslih prijatelja nema pojma kako da uradi.

Fangirls know how to love something without apology or fear.

Obožavateljke znaju kako da vole nešto bez pardona ili straha.

My years of researching fangirls

Godine mog istraživanja obožavateljki

culminated in this determination

kulminirale su u odluci

to write something that celebrates and vindicates them.

da se napiše nešto što će ih proslaviti i osvetiti.

So I decided to make this thriller comedy musical

Tako sam odlučila da napravim ovaj triler-komediju-mjuzikl,

that sounds like a Beyoncé concert meets rave meets church.

koji zvuči kao da su se spojili koncert Bijonse, rejv i crkvene muzike.

I called it "Fangirls,"

Nazvala sam ga „Obožavateljke”,

and I designed it like a Trojan horse.

i osmislila ga kao trojanskog konja.

So it appears to make fun of these young women,

Izgleda kao da se ruga tim mladim devojkama,

only to, like, smuggle them into your heart.

samo da bi ih ugurao u vaša srca.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Thanks.

Hvala.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

At one point --

U jednom momentu -

Thanks.

Hvala.

At one point, a girl sings,

U jednom momentu, devojka peva:

"Why should I hide my feelings?

„Zašto bih krila svoja osećanja?

Because they annoy you?

Zato što te nerviraju?

Or because it isn't what the boys do?"

Ili zato što to nije ono što dečaci rade?”

And as a former fangirl cynic,

Kao bivši cinik obožavateljki,

that is the question that I want to leave you all with.

to je pitanje o kome želim da razmislite.

Why should fangirls tone it down?

Zašto bi obožavateljke trebalo da se stišaju?

Because they're crazy?

Zato što su blesave?

Or because our definition of "reasonable"

Ili zbog naše definicije „razumnog”

is based on what it is acceptable for men to do?

koja se temelji na tome šta je prihvatljivo da rade muškarci?

What if we rethink the judgments we've been conditioned to feel

Šta ako ponovo razmislimo o predrasudama koje smo osuđeni da osećamo

when we see young women screaming their lungs out with excitement?

kada vidimo mladu ženu kako vrišti na sav glas od uzbuđenja?

What if we decided to rethink the words we use

Šta ako odlučimo da ponovo razmislimo o reči koju koristimo

to describe that joy,

za opis te radosti,

and what if we didn't allow ourselves to diminish girls

i šta bi bilo kada ne bismo dozvoljavali sebi da omalovažavamo devojke

with words that undermine their intelligence,

rečima koje podcenjuju njihovu inteligenciju,

their interests and their capability?

njihova interesovanja i njihove sposobnosti?

Because, according to my research,

Zato što, prema mom istraživanju,

they are capable of building a shrine to Harry Styles's vomit

one su sposobne da izgrade svetilište izbljuvka Harija Stajlsa

on the side of a freeway within two hours.

na auto-putu u roku od samo dva sata.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

That takes some executive skills in logistics and communication.

To iziskuje neke izvršilačke sposobnosti u logistici i komunikaciji.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

If that isn't "capable," I don't know what is.

Ako to ne znači biti „sposoban”, ne znam šta znači.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

I reckon, instead of judging fangirls, we can learn from them.

Pomišljam, umesto što osuđujemo obožavateljke, možemo učiti od njih.

We can all die tomorrow,

Svi možemo umreti sutra,

so why not love things while we're still breathing?

pa zašto onda ne bismo voleli dok još dišemo?

And with that,

S tim u vezi,

I'd like to ask you all to try something with me.

želela bih da vas sve zamolim da probamo zajedno nešto.

Can I get you all to stand up?

Možete li svi ustati?

Stand up if you can, stand up.

Ustanite ako možete, ustanite.

Alright, so here's what's going to happen.

U redu, evo šta će se desiti.

I'm going to count to three

Ja ću brojati do tri

and when I finish,

i kada završim,

I'm going to ask every single one of you

zamoliću vas da svako od vas

to let out your very best fangirl scream.

ispusti svoj najbolji vrisak obožavateljke.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Yeah?

U redu?

Here is why I am asking you to do this.

Evo zašto to tražim od vas.

Because if all five-or-so thousand of you do this and really commit,

Ako svih pet hiljada vas, ili koliko vas ima, uradi to iz sveg srca

we all get our first chance to hear that sound

svi ćemo po prvi put imati šansu da čujemo taj zvuk

and to decide that it is not a crazy sound.

i odlučimo da to nije blesavi zvuk.

It is a hopeful sound.

To je zvuk nade.

So shall we do this?

Hoćemo li?

I said, shall we do this?

Rekoh, hoćemo li uraditi to?

(Audience: Yes!)

(Publika: Da!)

Alright. OK, I am going to cheat and I'm not going to go full volume,

U redu. Okej. Ja ću malo varati, neću ići punim glasom,

because I'm miked and we don't want to hear that.

zato što sam ozvučena i to ne želimo da čujemo.

But it means you all have to go 110 percent.

To znači da svi vi morate dati 110 procenata.

You ready? Take a deep breath with me.

Spremni? Udahnite duboko sa mnom.

Think of someone you love, let's go,

Mislite o nekom koga volite, haj'mo,

one, two, three.

jedan, dva, tri.

(Audience screams)

(Publika: vrišti)

(Laughter and applause)

(Smeh i aplauz)

You all just sounded stunning

Zvučali ste zadivljujuće

and as sane and as intelligent

i jednako normalno, inteligentno

and as dignified

i dostojanstveno

as when you walked in this room.

kao kad ste ušli u ovu prostoriju.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)