For the love of fangirls | Yve Blake

翻译人员: Yizhuo He 校对人员: Lipeng Chen

Four years ago,

四年前，

a teenage girl changed my life

我与一名少女的对话

in one conversation.

改变了我的生活轨迹。

She was 13 years old,

她当时 13 岁，

she was a friend's little cousin

是我一个朋友的表亲，

and she casually told me

她不经意间告诉我

that she had met the man she was going to marry.

她遇到了要与之结婚的人。

So I said, "OK, tell me about him."

我就说，“是嘛，和我说说他吧。”

And she told me that his name was Harry Styles.

然后她告诉我 他的名字是哈里 · 斯泰尔斯。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

So I laughed a little, like you,

我当时也像你们一样笑了笑，

and then she said, "I know you don't think I'm serious,

她接着说， “我知道你认为我不是认真的，

but I'm actually going to be with him.

但是我真的会和他在一起的。

Because I love him so much

因为我太爱他了，

that I would slit someone's throat to be with him."

爱到可以为他去割别人的喉咙。“

(Laughter)

（笑声）

And that was the moment

从那时起，

that I became obsessed with fangirls.

我开始着迷于饭圈女孩这一群体。

I didn't know it then,

尽管当时我还没意识到，

but that moment would transform the course of my life

那一刻将会改变我的人生轨迹

and go on to change everything that I thought I knew

并改变我作为成年人，

about being an adult,

作为一名女性，

being a woman

一名快乐的人，

and being truly happy.

我以为我理解的全部事物。

But before we get started,

在我们开始之前，

what is a fangirl,

什么是饭圈女孩，

and what is a Harry Styles?

谁是哈里 · 斯泰尔斯？

Well, according to the dictionary, the Merriam-Webster dictionary,

根据韦氏词典，

a fangirl is a "girl or woman

饭圈女孩指的是

“一个对于某人或某物

who is an extremely or overly enthusiastic fan

of someone or something."

过于痴迷的女性。“

Technically, you can have fangirls of anything,

理论上来说， 任何人，事物都可以有饭圈女孩，

but my specific interest was in fangirls of boy bands.

但我比较感兴趣的是 男团的饭圈女孩。

Because of their somewhat lethal reputation.

因为他们有着致命的名气。

I remember, my dad had told me this story of some Beatles fans in the '60s,

我还记得，我父亲曾和我 讲过 60 年代披头士粉丝的一个故事，

who apparently had torn a parked BMW to literal pieces,

只因为乐队成员可能乘过 那辆停着的宝马车，

because the band had supposedly just been sat in it.

他们就把它拆成碎片了抢回家了。

In the '60s, the Beatles were the biggest boy band on the planet,

在 60 年代，披头士是当时地球上 最出名的男子乐队，

but when I met this girl in 2015,

但我认识那位少女是在 2015 年，

the biggest boy band on the planet was none other than One Direction.

当时世界上最出名的男子团体是 单向乐队。

And Harry Styles was a member of One Direction.

哈里 · 斯泰尔斯曾是单向乐队 的一名成员。

Harry Styles was reputed for his compassionate demeanor

哈里 · 斯泰尔斯以平易近人

and perfect hair.

和完美的头发而出名。

I learn this when I read thousands of tweets about him.

我是阅读了几千条 关于他的推文才了解到这些的。

I learn that he is a sweet cupcake.

我知道他是“甜心小蛋糕”。

I learn that he is a perfect angel.

“完美的小天使”。

I learn that one time,

我还了解到有一次，

he vomited on the side of a freeway in California

他在加州的高速公路旁呕吐了，

and that within two hours,

不到两小时，

fans had turned the site of the vomit into a sacred shrine.

粉丝就把他呕吐的地点 改造成了一个圣地。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

I scroll through --

我翻看了——

(Laughter)

（笑声）

I scroll through fan-made paintings of Harry,

我翻看了粉丝为哈里画的画，

baby photos of him,

他孩童时期的照片，

paintings of baby photos of him.

根据他孩童时期照片画的画，

I watch videos that show me how to make DIY love totems for Harry --

我看过教你如何制作 哈里的爱的图腾的视频教程——

for example, a lampshade covered in photos of his face,

例如，把他的照片贴在灯罩上，

or a key ring that states the exact time of his birth.

或者在钥匙圈上刻上他的出生时间。

I read hours of fan fiction,

我读了好几个小时的同人小说，

and I fall down this specific rabbit hole

导致我后来进入了一个新世界，

of stories that actually place me as a protagonist

在这个世界里， 我成为了和他

inside of various imagined romances with him.

各种浪漫故事中的主角。

So in one, I tell him that I'm pregnant with his child.

其中一个故事中， 我告诉他我怀了他的孩子。

In another, we meet in hospital where we're both fighting cancer,

另一个故事中，我和他因为 同时在医院与癌症抗争而相识，

and in another, we fall so deeply in love

还有一个故事里， 我们由于太爱彼此了

that we become fugitives who kill people.

我们都成为了杀人的不法之徒。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

But then ...

但之后……

something unthinkable happens.

一件意想不到的事情发生了。

One Direction, the biggest boy band on the planet,

单向乐队， 这颗星球上 最出名的男子乐队，

loses a member.

失去了一名成员。

Zayn Malik quits the band,

扎因 · 马利克退出了乐队，

and the internet explodes with feels.

网络随之爆炸了。

I read tweets as these girls describe the physical pain of this loss,

我见过一些描述姑娘们因为这件事 而感受到的生理疼痛的推特，

how they can't eat or sleep or walk.

她们吃不下，睡不着， 有些甚至都不会走路了。

I read them describe how much Zayn had meant to them.

我看到她们描述扎因 对她们而言有多重要。

And I watch videos of 10-year-old girls crying.

我还看到了 10 岁小姑娘 哭泣的视频。

But, like, really crying.

是真的在哭泣。

And then I watch as people repost these videos but with new titles

再然后，我看到大家开始 带上新标题重新推送这些视频

that contain words like "crazy" and "creepy" and "insane."

这些新标题包括了像“疯狂”， “诡异”，和“精神错乱”等词。

And suddenly, my YouTube sidebar contains

突然间，我油管的侧栏就 出现了这样的内容：

"Compilation: Fans react to Zayn leaving.

“精选：粉丝对扎因退出的反应。

Psycho alert!"

精神病警告！”

Then I watch as mainstream news outlets cover the story.

之后我看到了主流媒体 是怎样报道这则新闻的。

I read them describe these "young banshees."

我看到了她们是怎样 描述这些“年轻女妖”的。

I read one journalist say,

一名记者这样报道，

"It's a commonly known fact since the age of the Beatles

“从披头士时期， 有一个事实就广为人知了

that there is nothing scarier in this world

那就是这个世界上没有比

than a group of excited teenage girls."

一群激动的小姑娘更可怕的事物了。“

(Laughter)

（笑声）

And then I ask myself a question I've never considered in my life.

然后我就问了自己 一个之前从没想过的问题。

Why is it that the image of young girls screaming their lungs out with excitement

为什么一群小姑娘激动地为某个

for a pop star

明星嘶吼的画面

is considered crazy, psycho,

被视为是疯狂的，精神错乱的，

scary, a bit much?

可怕的，太过了？

But the image of young boys screaming their lungs out for a footballer

但是小伙子们为了足球队员

而嘶吼的场面却被视为再正常不过了？

is perfectly normal?

Boys crying at the footie,

男孩们因为足球而落泪，

that's the love of the game.

那是他们对比赛爱的表现。

Girls crying at a Justin Bieber concert?

女孩们在贾斯汀 · 比伯的演唱会上哭泣？

That's pathetic.

多么的可悲。

And as soon as I realized this double standard,

一旦我意识到了这种双重标准。

I realized that all of my curiosity about fangirls

我就意识到我所有对于饭圈女孩的好奇心

had been sparked by exactly the same judgments.

都被这种判断而激起了。

I, too, had suspected that they were a bit crazy.

我之前也觉得她们过于疯狂了。

I'd looked at images of girls screaming for the Beatles,

我看着那些女孩为了披头士、

the Backstreet Boys, One Direction,

后街男孩、单向乐队嘶吼的画面，

and the word that had come to mind was not "excitement"

脑海里蹦出来的词语不是“激动”

but "hysteria."

而是“歇斯底里”。

And what I did not know was the history of that word.

我之前并不知道“歇斯底里” 这个词的历史。

That in the 19th century,

在 19 世纪，

hysteria was considered to be a legitimate female mental disorder

“歇斯底里”被视为一种 公认的的女性心理疾病

that could be diagnosed by doctors

如果一名女性表现出 过于激动的情绪

if women displayed excessive emotion or difficult behavior.

或是不听话的行为，就会 被医生诊断为患有此疾病。

The word "hysterical" comes from the Latin word "hystericus,"

“hysterical（歇斯底里）”这个词源于 拉丁词“hystericus”，

meaning "of the womb,"

意思是“与子宫有关的”，

because it was thought that this condition was caused by a dysfunction of the uterus.

因为这种症状被视为是由于 子宫功能失调所导致的。

And so, a treatment for hysteria

对于歇斯底里症的治疗手段

was a hysterectomy.

是子宫切除术。

Which is what we still call a removal of the womb.

就是我们现在所说的切除子宫的手术。

And at this point,

到了这个时候，

I decide to redeclare my obsession.

我想重新声明下令我着迷的是什么。

Because I am no longer just obsessed with fangirls.

我现在已经不仅仅着迷于饭圈女孩了。

Now, I'm obsessed with the way that the world talks about fangirls

现在我痴迷于这个世界 谈论饭圈女孩的方式

and the way that the world looks at young, female enthusiasm.

和这个世界是如何看待 年轻女性的热情。

Because, I want to know,

因为，我想去了解，

if girls grow up in a world

如果一个女孩从小成长的世界

where words like "crazy" and "psycho" and "hysterical" are casually used

会经常用“疯狂”、“神经病”、 “歇斯底里”等词语来描述

to describe female enthusiasm,

女性热忱，

then how does that shape the way that those girls get to see themselves?

这会如何影响 这些女孩是怎样看待自己的？

And if girls grow up in a world that tells them

而且如果女孩们成长于一个 告诉她们

that they are designed just a bit crazier than the boys,

她们天生就比男孩们更疯狂的世界，

then isn't that a little bit like telling them

这无异于是在告诉她们

that they are born less capable of rationality than men,

她们天生就没有男生理性，

less capable of reason

讲道理，

and unworthy of the same intellectual respect as their brothers.

没有她们的兄弟那样有智慧。

Separately, I become obsessed with female screams.

我开始着迷于女性的尖叫。

Not in a creepy way.

不是以一种奇怪的方式。

I'm talking about, like, those shrieks and squeals

我指的是那些饭圈女孩在演唱会

that fangirls let out at concerts.

发出的尖叫声。

I want to know why it is

我想了解为什么

that some people instinctively flinch when I merely describe the sound,

有些人只是听我形容那种声音 就会本能的退缩，

like it's painful just to think about it.

好像只要谈到它就很痛苦。

Then I meet Amy Hume.

之后我认识了艾米 · 休谟。

She's a voice coach.

一名发声教练。

And she blows my mind.

她所说的话让我感到很惊讶。

Because she tells me that the female voice

她告诉我 11 到 13 岁

between the ages of 11 and 13

女孩的声音

is one of the most interesting things to study.

是研究起来最有趣的事物之一。

Why?

为什么？

Because there's this research by Carol Gilligan

因为根据卡罗尔 · 吉利根所做的研究，

that says that is the age

那个年龄段是

when girls begin to perform and alter their voices.

女生开始表演和改变自己声音的阶段。

For example, adding breath for maturity,

例如，为了表现得成熟 而在声音中加气音，

(Imitating vocal fry) or adding vocal fry for apathy.

或者用气泡音来表现得淡漠。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

But tell me, according to this research,

你们猜猜，根据这项研究，

when do you reckon boys begin to perform and alter their voices?

你们觉得男孩们是从几岁开始 开始表演与改变他们的声音的？

Now, I guessed 18,

我猜是 18 岁，

because "men mature later," right?

因为“男生成熟的晚”，对吗？

Wrong.

错了。

The answer was four years old.

答案是四岁。

Because that is when boys learn not to cry or squeal.

那时起，男孩学会不去哭 和不尖声说话。

That those are not manly sounds.

因为那不是男子汉会发出的声音。

And that's when I realized

而我也是在那时才觉得

that a fangirl's shriek is therefore like a superpower.

饭圈女孩的尖叫因此 像是一种超能力。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Because it's this fearless and honest expression

因为那是一种无畏的， 真诚的情感表达

of pure celebration and joy,

单纯的为了庆祝与表达喜悦，

and it's a sound

那是一种

they have not forgotten how to make.

她们还没有忘记该怎么去发出的声音。

I actually reckon that fangirls have a second superpower,

而且我认为饭圈女孩还有 第二种超能力，

because they know how to do something

因为她们有去做某事的能力，

that most of my adult friends have no idea how to do.

而这种能力我大多数成年朋友都没有。

Fangirls know how to love something without apology or fear.

饭圈女孩知道如何没有 歉意与恐惧地去爱一样事物。

My years of researching fangirls

经过我多年来对饭圈女孩的研究，

culminated in this determination

我最终决定

to write something that celebrates and vindicates them.

要写些什么来歌颂饭圈女孩， 为她们正名。

So I decided to make this thriller comedy musical

我觉得要制作一个 带有惊悚和喜剧风格的音乐剧。

that sounds like a Beyoncé concert meets rave meets church.

这个音乐剧听上去像是混杂着 狂欢和教堂元素的碧昂斯的演唱会。

I called it "Fangirls,"

我将其取名为《饭圈女孩》，

and I designed it like a Trojan horse.

我把它设计的像是一个特洛伊木马一样。

So it appears to make fun of these young women,

看上去是为了取笑那些年轻的姑娘们，

only to, like, smuggle them into your heart.

实际上，是为了偷偷地 把她们装进你们的心里。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Thanks.

谢谢。

(Applause)

（掌声）

At one point --

在音乐剧的某一刻——

Thanks.

谢谢。

At one point, a girl sings,

某一刻，一个女生唱到：

"Why should I hide my feelings?

“为什么我要隐藏我的情感？

Because they annoy you?

因为它们烦到你们了吗？

Or because it isn't what the boys do?"

还是因为这些不是男孩们会做的事？”

And as a former fangirl cynic,

作为一名曾鄙视过饭圈女孩的人，

that is the question that I want to leave you all with.

这是一个我希望大家都能去想想的问题。

Why should fangirls tone it down?

为什么饭圈女孩要收敛她们的情感？

Because they're crazy?

因为她们疯了吗？

Or because our definition of "reasonable"

还是因为我们其实是根据

is based on what it is acceptable for men to do?

男性能被人认可的行为 而定义“理性”这个词的？

What if we rethink the judgments we've been conditioned to feel

当我们看到年轻姑娘们 带着激动的心情尖叫着的时候

when we see young women screaming their lungs out with excitement?

我们能不能重新想想 那些对她们的惯有看法？

What if we decided to rethink the words we use

我们能不能重新想想 该用什么样的词语

to describe that joy,

去描述她们的那种喜悦，

and what if we didn't allow ourselves to diminish girls

我们能不能不让自己去用那些

with words that undermine their intelligence,

会削弱她们智慧，

their interests and their capability?

兴趣与能力的词语来形容她们？

Because, according to my research,

因为根据我的研究，

they are capable of building a shrine to Harry Styles's vomit

她们可是有能力在两小时之内

on the side of a freeway within two hours.

把哈里 · 斯泰尔斯在高速公路旁 的呕吐地点改造成一个圣地。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

That takes some executive skills in logistics and communication.

那可是需要一定的组织与沟通等 管理技巧才能做到的。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

If that isn't "capable," I don't know what is.

如果那还不算“有能力的”， 我不知道什么才算了。

(Applause)

（掌声）

I reckon, instead of judging fangirls, we can learn from them.

我觉得，与其对饭圈女孩评头论足， 我们可以从她们身上学到些什么。

We can all die tomorrow,

我们明天都可能会死。

so why not love things while we're still breathing?

所以为什么不趁我们 还活着的时候去爱我们所爱呢？

And with that,

所以，

I'd like to ask you all to try something with me.

我想请你们配合我尝试下这个。

Can I get you all to stand up?

我能请大家都起立吗？

Stand up if you can, stand up.

如果可以的话，请起立。

Alright, so here's what's going to happen.

好的，接下来是这样。

I'm going to count to three

我会数到三，

and when I finish,

当时间到了之后，

I'm going to ask every single one of you

我想请大家每一个人

to let out your very best fangirl scream.

都尽可能的喊出 饭圈女孩那样的尖叫声。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Yeah?

可以吗？

Here is why I am asking you to do this.

我之所以想让大家这么做，

Because if all five-or-so thousand of you do this and really commit,

是因为如果我们五千多人 都能同时发出这种声音，

we all get our first chance to hear that sound

我们就会得到一次 听到那种声音的机会

and to decide that it is not a crazy sound.

然后我们就会知道 那不是一种疯狂的声音。

It is a hopeful sound.

那将会是一个充满希望的声音。

So shall we do this?

我们要试试吗？

I said, shall we do this?

要试试吗？

(Audience: Yes!)

（观众：要！）

Alright. OK, I am going to cheat and I'm not going to go full volume,

好，我得作弊 我不会发出我全部的音量，

because I'm miked and we don't want to hear that.

因为我带着麦克风， 我们都不会想听到那种声音的。

But it means you all have to go 110 percent.

但这意味着你们都得 发出 110% 的音量。

You ready? Take a deep breath with me.

准备好了吗？ 跟我一起深呼吸。

Think of someone you love, let's go,

想想你爱的人， 让我们开始，

one, two, three.

一，二，三。

(Audience screams)

（观众喊叫声）

(Laughter and applause)

（笑声，掌声）

You all just sounded stunning

你们刚听上去好极了，

and as sane and as intelligent

听上去既正常，富有智慧

and as dignified

又有尊严。

as when you walked in this room.

像你们刚走进这里时那样。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause)

（掌声）