A rite of passage for late life | Bob Stein

42,991 views ・ 2018-04-13

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μ•„λž˜ μ˜λ¬Έμžλ§‰μ„ λ”λΈ”ν΄λ¦­ν•˜μ‹œλ©΄ μ˜μƒμ΄ μž¬μƒλ©λ‹ˆλ‹€.

λ²ˆμ—­: Hyeri Song κ²€ν† : Jihyeon J. Kim
00:12
I grew up white, secular and middle class
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μ €λŠ” 쒅ꡐ가 μ—†λŠ” 백인 쀑산측 κ°€μ •μ—μ„œ μžλžμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
00:16
in 1950s America.
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1950λ…„λŒ€ λ―Έκ΅­μ—μ„œ 자랐죠.
00:19
That meant watching fireworks on the Fourth of July,
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7μ›” 4일(독립기념일)이면 λΆˆκ½ƒλ†€μ΄λ₯Ό 보고
00:22
trick-or-treating on Halloween
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ν• λ‘œμœˆμ—” 사탕을 λ°›μœΌλŸ¬ λ‹€λ‹ˆκ³ 
00:24
and putting presents under a tree at Christmas.
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ν¬λ¦¬μŠ€λ§ˆμŠ€μ—” 트리 밑에 선물을 놓아 λ’€μ£ .
00:27
But by the time those traditions got to me,
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ 그런 전톡듀을 μ œλŒ€λ‘œ μ΄ν•΄ν•˜κ³  λ³΄λ‹ˆ
00:30
they were hollow, commercial enterprises,
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μ „ν†΅μ΄λž€ κ·Έμ € ν—ˆμšΈλΏμΈ μƒμˆ μ΄μ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
00:32
which just left me feeling empty.
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κ³΅ν—ˆν•¨λ§Œ λŠκ»΄μ§€λ”κ΅°μš”.
00:34
So from a relatively young age,
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κ·Έλž˜μ„œ κ½€ μ–΄λ¦° λ‚˜μ΄λΆ€ν„°
00:36
I found myself looking to fill an existential hole,
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μ €λŠ” 쑴재적 κ³΅ν—ˆν•¨μ„ λ©”μšΈ 방법을 찾게 λ˜μ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
00:40
to connect with something bigger than myself.
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더 κ±°λŒ€ν•œ 무언가와 μ €λ₯Ό μ—°κ²°ν•˜κΈ° μœ„ν•΄μ„œμ˜€μ£ .
00:44
There hadn't been a bar mitzvah in my family in over a century,
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우리 가쑱은 100λ…„ 이상 μœ λŒ€μΈ 성인식을 ν•˜μ§€ μ•Šμ•˜μ–΄μš”.
00:47
so I thought I'd take a shot at that --
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κ·Έλž˜μ„œ μ œκ°€ ν•œ 번 해보렀고 ν–ˆμ£ .
00:49
(Laughter)
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(μ›ƒμŒ)
00:50
only to be devastated when my one encounter with the rabbi,
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μ‹€λ§λ§Œ ν•˜κ³  λλ‚¬μ–΄μš”. λžλΉ„λ₯Ό ν•œ λΆ„ λ§Œλ‚˜κΈ΄ ν–ˆλŠ”λ°μš”.
00:54
a really tall, godlike figure with flowing white hair,
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정말 ν‚€κ°€ 크고, μ‹ κ³Ό 같은 λͺ¨μŠ΅μ— 흰머리가 ν’μ„±ν•œ λΆ„μ΄μ—ˆμ£ .
00:58
consisted of him asking me for my middle name
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제 쀑간 이름을 μ•Œλ € 달라고 ν•˜μ…¨μ–΄μš”.
01:01
so we could fill out a form.
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μ‹ μ²­μ„œ λΉˆμΉΈμ„ μ±„μ›Œμ•Ό ν–ˆκ±°λ“ μš”.
01:04
Yep, that was it.
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λ„€, 그게 λμ΄μ—ˆμ–΄μš”.
01:05
(Laughter)
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(μ›ƒμŒ)
01:06
So I got the fountain pen,
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κ·Έλž˜μ„œ λ§Œλ…„ν•„μ„ λ°›μ•˜μ£ .
01:08
but I didn't get the sense of belonging and confidence
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ μ—¬μ „νžˆ μ œκ°€ μ°Ύκ³  있던 μ†Œμ†κ°μ΄λ‚˜ μ–΄λ–€ 확신을
01:11
I was searching for.
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얻을 μˆ˜κ°€ μ—†μ—ˆμ–΄μš”.
01:13
Many years later,
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세월이 흐λ₯΄κ³  λ‚˜μ„œ
01:15
I couldn't bear the thought of my son turning 13
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제 아듀이 μ–΄λ–€ 성년식도 없이
01:17
without some kind of rite of passage.
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13살이 λ˜λŠ” κ±Έ 참을 수 μ—†μ—ˆμ–΄μš”.
01:21
So I came up with the idea of a 13th birthday trip,
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κ·Έλž˜μ„œ 13μ„Έ 생일 μΆ•ν•˜ 여행을 κ°€κΈ°λ‘œ ν–ˆμ–΄μš”.
01:24
and I offered to take Murphy anywhere in the world
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λ¨Έν”Όμ—κ²Œ 이 세상 μ–΄λ””λ“  νŠΉλ³„ν•˜κ²Œ μƒκ°ν•˜λŠ” 곳으둜
01:27
that had meaning for him.
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데렀가 μ£Όκ² λ‹€κ³  ν–ˆμ£ .
01:29
A budding young naturalist who loved turtles,
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거뢁이λ₯Ό μ‚¬λž‘ν•˜λŠ”, μ–΄λ¦° λ™μ‹λ¬Όν•™μžμ™€ κ°™λ˜ 제 아듀은
01:32
he immediately settled on the Galapagos.
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λ°”λ‘œ κ°ˆλΌνŒŒκ³ μŠ€μ œλ„λ₯Ό κ³¨λžμ–΄μš”.
01:35
And when my daughter, Katie, turned 13,
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제 λ”Έ 케이티가 13살이 됐을 λ•Œ
01:38
she and I spent two weeks at the bottom of the Grand Canyon,
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케이티와 μ €λŠ” κ·Έλžœλ“œ 캐년 μ•„λž˜μ„œ 2μ£Όλ₯Ό λ³΄λƒˆμ£ .
01:41
where Katie learned for the first time that she was powerful and brave.
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κ·Έκ³³μ—μ„œ μΌ€μ΄ν‹°λŠ” 처음으둜 κ°•ν•˜κ³  μš©κΈ°μžˆλŠ” μžμ‹ κ³Ό λ§ˆμ£Όν–ˆμ–΄μš”.
01:46
Since then, my partner, Ashton, and lots of our friends and relatives
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κ·Έ μ΄ν›„λ‘œ 제 배우자인 μ• μ‰¬νŠΌκ³Ό λ§Žμ€ μΉœκ΅¬λ“€κ³Ό κ°€μ‘±, μΉœμ²™λ“€μ€
01:50
have taken their kids on 13th birthday trips,
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아이가 13살이 되면 생일 μΆ•ν•˜ 여행을 κ°€κ²Œ 됐죠.
01:53
with everyone finding it transformative for both the child and the parent.
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아이와 λΆ€λͺ¨ λͺ¨λ‘μ—κ²Œ λ³€ν™”ν•  수 μžˆλŠ” κΈ°νšŒκ°€ λμ–΄μš”.
02:00
I wasn't brought up saying grace.
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제 λΆ€λͺ¨λ‹˜μ€ 식전기도λ₯Ό ν•˜μ§€ μ•Šμ•˜μ–΄μš”.
02:03
But for the last 20 years,
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ μ§€λ‚œ 20λ…„ λ™μ•ˆ
02:05
we've been holding hands before every meal.
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μš°λ¦¬λŠ” 맀 식사 전에 μ„œλ‘œ 손을 작기 μ‹œμž‘ν–ˆμ–΄μš”.
02:09
It's a beautiful bit of shared silence
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ν•¨κ»˜ κ³΅μœ ν•˜λŠ” κ³ μš”ν•˜κ³  μ•„λ¦„λ‹€μš΄ μˆœκ°„μ΄μ£ .
02:11
that brings us all together in the moment.
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κ·Έ μˆœκ°„μ—λŠ” 우리 λͺ¨λ‘ ν•˜λ‚˜κ°€ λΌμš”.
02:14
Ashton tells everyone to "pass the squeeze,"
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μ• μ‰¬νŠΌμ€ "μ˜†μ‚¬λžŒ 손을 κΌ­ μž‘μ•„" 라고 λ§ν•΄μš”.
02:17
while she assures them it's not religious.
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쒅ꡐ적인 μ˜λ―ΈλŠ” μ—†λ‹€κ³  κ±°λ“­ κ°•μ‘°ν•˜λ©΄μ„œμš”.
02:19
(Laughter)
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(μ›ƒμŒ)
02:22
So recently, when my family asked me
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μ΅œκ·Όμ—, 제 가쑱이 μ €μ—κ²Œ
02:24
if I could please do something with the more than 250 boxes of stuff
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μ œκ°€ λͺ¨μ€ 250개 μ΄μƒμ˜ μƒμžλ₯Ό μ–΄λ–»κ²Œ 해쀄 수 없냐고 λ¬Όμ—ˆμ–΄μš”.
02:30
that I've collected over a lifetime,
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μ œκ°€ 평생 λͺ¨μ€ κ²ƒλ“€μ΄μ—ˆμ£ .
02:32
my ritual-making impulse kicked in.
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제 "기념식 λ§Œλ“€κΈ°" 좩동이 또 μ‚΄μ•„λ‚¬μ–΄μš”.
02:36
I started wondering if I could go further than simple death cleaning.
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ν˜Ήμ‹œ λ‹¨μˆœν•œ "죽음 μ²­μ†Œ" 말고 λ­”κ°€ 더 ν•  수 없을지 κΆκΈˆν•΄μ‘Œμ£ .
02:40
"Death cleaning" is the Swedish term for clearing out your closets,
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"죽음 μ²­μ†Œ"λž€ μŠ€μ›¨λ΄μ—μ„œ 온 말인데 μ£½κΈ° 전에 옷μž₯을 μ‹Ή 치우고
02:44
your basement and your attic before you die,
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μ§€ν•˜μ‹€μ΄λ‚˜ λ‹€λ½λ°©μ˜ 짐도 μ‹Ή μΉ˜μš°λŠ” κ±Έ λ§ν•΄μš”.
02:48
so your kids don't have to do it later.
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μžλ…€λ“€μ΄ λ‚˜μ€‘μ— 치울 ν•„μš”κ°€ 없도둝 말이죠.
02:50
(Laughter)
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(μ›ƒμŒ)
02:52
I pictured my children opening up box after box
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제 아이듀이 μƒμžλ“€μ„ μ—¬λŠ” λͺ¨μŠ΅μ„ 상상해 λ΄€μ–΄μš”.
02:55
and wondering why I'd kept any of that stuff.
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"이런 κ±Έ λŒ€μ²΄ μ™œ 놔두신 거지?" 라고 κΆκΈˆν•΄ ν•  κ±°μ˜ˆμš”.
02:59
(Laughter)
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(μ›ƒμŒ)
03:00
And then I imagined them looking at a specific picture
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그리고 νŠΉλ³„ν•œ 사진을 μ°Ύμ•„λ‚΄λŠ” λͺ¨μŠ΅λ„ μƒμƒν•΄λ΄€μ–΄μš”.
03:04
of me with a beautiful young woman,
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저와 μ•„λ¦„λ‹€μš΄ 아가씨가 찍힌 사진을 λ°œκ²¬ν•˜κ³ 
03:06
and asking, "Who on earth is that with Dad?"
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"이 μ—¬μžλŠ” λŒ€μ²΄ λˆ„κ΅¬μ•Ό?" 라고 κΆκΈˆν•΄ν•˜λŠ” κ±°μ£ .
03:09
(Laughter)
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(μ›ƒμŒ)
03:10
And that was the aha moment.
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κ·Έ μˆœκ°„ 쒋은 생각이 팟! λ– μ˜¬λžμ–΄μš”.
03:13
It wasn't the things I'd saved that were important;
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μ€‘μš”ν–ˆλ˜ 건 μ œκ°€ λͺ¨μ•„놓은 물건듀이 μ•„λ‹ˆλΌ
03:16
it was the stories that went with them that gave them meaning.
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물건에 νŠΉλ³„ν•œ 의미λ₯Ό μ£ΌλŠ”, κ·Έ 물건에 λ‹΄κΈ΄ μ΄μ•ΌκΈ°μ˜€μ£ .
03:21
Could using the objects to tell the stories
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이 물건듀을 μ΄μš©ν•΄μ„œ κ±°κΈ° λ‹΄κΈ΄ 이야기λ₯Ό λ‚˜λˆ„λŠ” 것이
03:24
be the seed of a new ritual,
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μƒˆλ‘œμš΄ μ˜μ‹μ΄ 될 수 μ—†μ„κΉŒ?
03:26
a rite of passage -- not for a 13-year-old,
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νŠΉλ³„ν•œ μ˜μ‹, 13μ‚΄ 생일을 μœ„ν•œ 것이 μ•„λ‹ˆλΌ
03:30
but for someone much further down the road?
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훨씬 더 였래 μ‚° μ‚¬λžŒμ„ μœ„ν•œ μ˜μ‹μΈ κ±°μ£ .
03:34
So I started experimenting.
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κ·Έλž˜μ„œ μ‹€ν—˜μ„ μ‹œμž‘ν–ˆμ–΄μš”.
03:36
I got a few dozen things out of the boxes,
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μƒμžμ—μ„œ 물건을 μ—¬λŸ¬ 개 κΊΌλ‚΄μ„œ
03:39
I put them about in a room,
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λ°© ν•˜λ‚˜μ— μ­‰ 놓아두고
03:41
and I invited people to come in
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μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ„ 그곳으둜 μ΄ˆλŒ€ν–ˆμ£ .
03:44
and ask me about anything that they found interesting.
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그리고 κΆκΈˆν•œκ²Œ 있으면 뭐든지 물어보라고 ν–ˆμ–΄μš”.
03:48
The results were terrific.
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κ²°κ³ΌλŠ” μ•„μ£Ό λ†€λΌμ› μ–΄μš”.
03:50
A good story became a launching pad for a much deeper discussion,
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쒋은 이야기 ν•˜λ‚˜κ°€ 훨씬 더 κΉŠμ€ μ£Όμ œμ— κ΄€ν•œ ν† λ‘ μœΌλ‘œ μ΄μ–΄μ‘Œμ£ .
03:55
in which my visitors made meaningful connections
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이런 μ΄μ•ΌκΈ°λŠ” μ†λ‹˜λ“€ 각자의 μ‚Άκ³Ό 의미있게 μ—°κ²°λ˜κΈ° μ‹œμž‘ν–ˆμ–΄μš”.
03:57
to their own lives.
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04:00
Derrius [Quarles] asked me about a Leonard Peltier T-shirt
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λ°λ¦¬μš°μŠ€λŠ” μ €μ—κ²Œ λ ˆλ„ˆλ“œ νŽ ν‹°μ–΄ 티셔츠에 κ΄€ν•΄ λ¬Όμ—ˆμ£ .
04:04
that I'd worn a lot in the '80s,
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μ œκ°€ 80λ…„λŒ€μ— 즐겨 μž…λ˜ μ˜·μ΄μ—μš”.
04:06
that, sadly, is still relevant today.
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아직도 κ·Έ μ‹œλŒ€μ™€ 바뀐 게 μ—†λ‹€λŠ” 것이 μŠ¬ν”„λ„€μš”.
04:09
Our conversation moved quickly,
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우리 λŒ€ν™”λŠ” λΉ λ₯΄κ²Œ μ§„ν–‰λμ–΄μš”.
04:12
from a large number of political prisoners in American jails,
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λ―Έκ΅­ 감μ˜₯에 κ°‡νžŒ λ‹€μˆ˜μ˜ μ •μΉ˜μ‚¬λ²” 이야기뢀터
04:16
to Derrius wondering about the legacy
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60λ…„λŒ€ ν‘μΈμΈκΆŒμš΄λ™μ˜ μœ μ‚°κΉŒμ§€ λ°λ¦¬μš°μŠ€λŠ” κΆκΈˆν•΄ν–ˆμ£ .
04:18
of the Black Liberation Movement of the '60s,
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04:21
and how his life might be different if he'd come of age then,
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또 λ§Œμ•½ κ·Έ μ‹œλŒ€μ— νƒœμ–΄λ‚¬λ‹€λ©΄ 삢이 μ–΄λ–»κ²Œ λ‹¬λžμ„μ§€ κΆκΈˆν•΄ν–ˆμ–΄μš”.
04:25
instead of 30-odd years later.
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μ§€κΈˆμ²˜λŸΌ 30λͺ‡ λ…„ λ’€κ°€ μ•„λ‹ˆλΌμš”.
04:28
At the end of our conversation,
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우리 λŒ€ν™”κ°€ 끝날 λ•Œ μ―€
04:30
Derrius asked me if he could have the T-shirt.
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λ°λ¦¬μš°μŠ€λŠ” ν‹°μ…”μΈ λ₯Ό 가져도 λ˜λƒκ³  λ¬Όμ—ˆμ–΄μš”.
04:33
And giving it to him felt just about perfect.
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ν‹°μ…”μΈ λ₯Ό μ£Όκ³  λ‚˜λ‹ˆ λ­”κ°€ μ™„λ²½ν•œ λŠλ‚Œμ΄ λ“€μ—ˆμ–΄μš”.
04:37
As these conversations established common ground,
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이런 λŒ€ν™”λ‘œ μš°λ¦¬λŠ” μ„œλ‘œ κ³΅κ°λŒ€λ₯Ό ν˜•μ„±ν–ˆμ–΄μš”.
04:40
especially across generations,
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특히 μ„ΈλŒ€λ₯Ό λ„˜λ‚˜λ“€λ©΄μ„œ 말이죠.
04:43
I realized I was opening a space
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μ €λŠ” μ„œλ‘œμ—κ²Œ 정말 μ€‘μš”ν•œ 일을
04:45
for people to talk about things that really mattered to them.
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ν•¨κ»˜ 이야기할 곡간을 μ œκ°€ λ§Œλ“€μ—ˆλ‹€λŠ” κ±Έ κΉ¨λ‹¬μ•˜μ–΄μš”.
04:50
And I started seeing myself with a renewed sense of purpose --
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그리고 μƒˆλ‘œμš΄ λͺ©μ  μ˜μ‹μ„ κ°–κ²Œ 됐죠.
04:54
not as the old guy on the way out,
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μΈμƒμ˜ 막바지에 λ‹€λ‹€λ₯Έ 노인이 μ•„λ‹ˆλΌ
04:56
but as someone with a role to play
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μ•žμœΌλ‘œ λ‚˜μ•„κ°ˆ 역할을 맑은 ν•œ μ‚¬λžŒμœΌλ‘œμ„œμš”.
04:58
going forward.
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05:01
When I was growing up,
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μ œκ°€ 어릴 λ•ŒλŠ”
05:03
life ended for most people in their 70s.
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평균 수λͺ…이 70λŒ€ μ •λ„μ˜€μ–΄μš”.
05:07
People are living far longer now,
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μ§€κΈˆμ€ 훨씬 κΈ°λŒ€ 수λͺ…이 κΈΈμ£ .
05:10
and for the first time in human history,
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그리고 인λ₯˜ 역사상 처음으둜
05:12
it's common for four generations to be living side by side.
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4μ„ΈλŒ€κ°€ ν•¨κ»˜ μ‚΄ 수 μžˆλŠ” 세상이 λμ–΄μš”.
05:17
I'm 71,
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μ €λŠ” 71μ„Έμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
05:18
and with a bit of luck,
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μ•½κ°„ 운이 μ’‹λ‹€λ©΄
05:20
I've got 20 or 30 more years ahead of me.
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μ•žμœΌλ‘œ 20~30년을 더 μ‚΄ 수 있죠.
05:24
Giving away my stuff now
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제 물건을 λ‚¨μ—κ²Œ μ£Όκ³ 
05:27
and sharing it with friends, family, and I hope strangers, too,
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μΉœκ΅¬λ‚˜ κ°€μ‘±, κ°€λŠ₯ν•˜λ©΄ λ‚―μ„  μ‚¬λžŒκ³Όλ„ 이야기λ₯Ό κ³΅μœ ν•˜κ²Œ λ˜λŠ” 것이
05:32
seems like the perfect way to enter this next stage of my life.
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제 μΈμƒμ˜ λ‹€μŒ λ‹¨κ³„λ‘œ μ§„μž…ν•˜λŠ” μ™„λ²½ν•œ 방법이 될 것 κ°™μ•„μš”.
05:36
Turns out to be just what I was looking for:
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이게 μ œκ°€ 그토둝 μ°Ύκ³  있던 μΌμ΄μ—ˆμ–΄μš”.
05:39
a ritual that's less about dying
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μ£½μ–΄κ°€λŠ” 것에 λŒ€ν•œ μ˜μ‹μ΄λΌκΈ° λ³΄λ‹€λŠ”
05:41
and more about opening the door
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μΈμƒμ˜ μƒˆλ‘œμš΄ 문을 μ—¬λŠ” μ˜μ‹μ΄μ—μš”.
05:43
to whatever comes next.
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μ–΄λ–€ λ―Έλž˜κ°€ μ˜€λ“ μ§€ 말이죠.
05:46
Thank you.
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κ°μ‚¬ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
05:47
(Applause)
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(λ°•μˆ˜)
05:48
Onward!
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μ•žμœΌλ‘œ!
05:49
(Applause)
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(λ°•μˆ˜)
이 μ›Ήμ‚¬μ΄νŠΈ 정보

이 μ‚¬μ΄νŠΈλŠ” μ˜μ–΄ ν•™μŠ΅μ— μœ μš©ν•œ YouTube λ™μ˜μƒμ„ μ†Œκ°œν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€. μ „ 세계 졜고의 μ„ μƒλ‹˜λ“€μ΄ κ°€λ₯΄μΉ˜λŠ” μ˜μ–΄ μˆ˜μ—…μ„ 보게 될 κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€. 각 λ™μ˜μƒ νŽ˜μ΄μ§€μ— ν‘œμ‹œλ˜λŠ” μ˜μ–΄ μžλ§‰μ„ 더블 ν΄λ¦­ν•˜λ©΄ κ·Έκ³³μ—μ„œ λ™μ˜μƒμ΄ μž¬μƒλ©λ‹ˆλ‹€. λΉ„λ””μ˜€ μž¬μƒμ— 맞좰 μžλ§‰μ΄ μŠ€ν¬λ‘€λ©λ‹ˆλ‹€. μ˜κ²¬μ΄λ‚˜ μš”μ²­μ΄ μžˆλŠ” 경우 이 문의 양식을 μ‚¬μš©ν•˜μ—¬ λ¬Έμ˜ν•˜μ‹­μ‹œμ˜€.

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