How to Do Laundry When You're Depressed | KC Davis | TED

91,634 views ใƒป 2023-01-05

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ูŠุฑุฌู‰ ุงู„ู†ู‚ุฑ ู†ู‚ุฑู‹ุง ู…ุฒุฏูˆุฌู‹ุง ููˆู‚ ุงู„ุชุฑุฌู…ุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ ุฃุฏู†ุงู‡ ู„ุชุดุบูŠู„ ุงู„ููŠุฏูŠูˆ.

ุงู„ู…ุชุฑุฌู…: gaith Takrity ุงู„ู…ุฏู‚ู‘ู‚: Shimaa Nabil
00:04
Shortly after I published my book,
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ุจุนุฏ ูุชุฑุฉ ูˆุฌูŠุฒุฉ ู…ู† ู†ุดุฑ ูƒุชุงุจูŠุŒ
00:06
I got an email.
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ุชู„ู‚ูŠุช ุจุฑูŠุฏู‹ุง ุฅู„ูƒุชุฑูˆู†ูŠู‹ุง.
00:07
It said,
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ู…ุถู…ูˆู†ู‡ุŒ
00:08
"Your book was the only thing that saved me from suicide.
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โ€œูƒุงู† ูƒุชุงุจูƒ ู‡ูˆ ุงู„ุดูŠุก ุงู„ูˆุญูŠุฏ ุงู„ุฐูŠ ุฃู†ู‚ุฐู†ูŠ ู…ู† ุงู„ุงู†ุชุญุงุฑ.
00:12
You saved my life."
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ู„ู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‚ุฐุช ุญูŠุงุชูŠ.โ€
00:14
Now, for a book about how to clean, that's sort of odd, yeah?
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ุงู„ุชูƒู„ู… ุนู† ูƒุชุงุจ ุญูˆู„ ูƒูŠููŠุฉ ุงู„ุชู†ุธูŠูุŒ ู…ูˆุถูˆุน ุบุฑูŠุจุŒ ุฃู„ูŠุณ ูƒุฐู„ูƒุŸ
00:17
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
00:18
But what if a new approach to cleaning
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ูˆู„ูƒู† ู…ุงุฐุง ู„ูˆ ูƒุงู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ู†ู‡ุฌ ุฌุฏูŠุฏ ู„ู„ุชู†ุธูŠูุŸ
00:20
could teach us a better approach to treating mental health?
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ูŠู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ูŠุนู„ู…ู†ุง ู†ู‡ุฌู‹ุง ุฃูุถู„ ู„ุนู„ุงุฌ ุงู„ุตุญุฉ ุงู„ุนู‚ู„ูŠุฉุŸ
00:25
I'm not an interior designer or a lifestyle influencer.
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ุฃู†ุง ู„ุณุช ู…ุตู…ู…ุฉ ุฏูŠูƒูˆุฑ ุฃูˆ ู…ุคุซุฑุฉ ููŠ ู†ู…ุท ุงู„ุญูŠุงุฉ.
00:28
I'm just a therapist with ADHD.
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ุฃู†ุง ู…ุฌุฑุฏ ู…ุนุงู„ุฌุฉ ู…ุตุงุจุฉ ุจุงุถุทุฑุงุจ ูุฑุท ุงู„ุญุฑูƒุฉ ูˆู†ู‚ุต ุงู„ุงู†ุชุจุงู‡.
00:31
And in February of 2020, I had my second baby.
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ูˆููŠ ูุจุฑุงูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุนุงู… 2020ุŒ ุฃู†ุฌุจุช ุทูู„ูŠ ุงู„ุซุงู†ูŠ.
00:34
Because with the first one, I had some postpartum anxiety
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ุนู†ุฏ ุฅู†ุฌุงุจูŠ ุทูู„ูŠ ุงู„ุฃูˆู„ุŒ ุฃุตุจุช ุจู‚ู„ู‚ ู…ุง ุจุนุฏ ุงู„ูˆู„ุงุฏุฉ
00:37
and my husband had just taken a very demanding job
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ูˆุฒูˆุฌูŠ ู‚ุฏ ุฃุฎุฐ ู„ู„ุชูˆ ูˆุธูŠูุฉ ุตุนุจุฉ ู„ู„ุบุงูŠุฉ
00:40
that was going to keep him busy,
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ุณุชุจู‚ูŠู‡ ู…ุดุบูˆู„ู‹ุงุŒ
00:41
I developed a meticulous postpartum plan for myself.
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ู„ูƒู„ ุฐู„ูƒุŒ ุทูˆุฑุช ุฎุทุฉ ุฏู‚ูŠู‚ุฉ ู„ู…ุฑุญู„ุฉ ู…ุง ุจุนุฏ ุงู„ูˆู„ุงุฏุฉ ู„ู†ูุณูŠ.
00:46
My family would rotate in in shifts for the first 60 days.
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ุณุชุชู†ุงูˆุจ ุนุงุฆู„ุชูŠ ู„ุฒูŠุงุฑุชูŠ ููŠ ู…ู†ุงูˆุจุงุช ู„ุฃูˆู„ 60 ูŠูˆู…ู‹ุง.
00:49
The cleaning crew would come once a month.
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ุณูŠุฃุชูŠ ุทุงู‚ู… ุงู„ุชู†ุธูŠู ู…ุฑุฉ ูˆุงุญุฏุฉ ููŠ ุงู„ุดู‡ุฑ.
00:51
The new moms group would drop off dinners.
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ุณุชู‚ูˆู… ู…ุฌู…ูˆุนุฉ ุงู„ุฃู…ู‡ุงุช ุงู„ุฌุฏุฏ ุจุชูˆุตูŠู„ ุงู„ุนุดุงุก ู„ูŠ.
00:54
And my toddler would go to preschool.
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ูˆุณูŠุฐู‡ุจ ุทูู„ูŠ ุฅู„ู‰ ู…ุฏุฑุณุฉ ุชุญุถูŠุฑูŠุฉ.
00:56
I was so proud of this plan,
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ูƒู†ุช ูุฎูˆุฑุฉ ุฌุฏู‹ุง ุจู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ุฎุทุฉุŒ
00:59
and it ended before it even began.
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ู„ูƒู† ุงู†ุชู‡ู‰ ุฃู…ุฑู‡ุง ุญุชู‰ ู‚ุจู„ ุฃู† ุชุจุฏุฃ.
ู„ุฃู† ุฐู„ูƒ ูƒุงู† ููŠ ุนุงู… 2020 ุญูŠู† ุญุฏุซุช ุนู…ู„ูŠุงุช ุงู„ุฅู‚ูุงู„ ุจุณุจุจ ููŠุฑูˆุณ ูƒูˆููŠุฏุŒ
01:03
Because 2020 is when the COVID lockdowns happened
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01:05
and all of that support disappeared overnight.
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ูˆูƒู„ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุฏุนู… ุงุฎุชูู‰ ุจูŠู† ุนุดูŠุฉ ูˆุถุญุงู‡ุง.
01:09
In a blur, my days turned into breastfeeding difficulties,
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ุจุตูˆุฑุฉ ุถุจุงุจูŠุฉุŒ ุณูŠุทุฑุช ุนู„ู‰ ุฃูŠุงู…ูŠ ุตุนูˆุจุงุช ุงู„ุฑุถุงุนุฉ ุงู„ุทุจูŠุนูŠุฉุŒ
01:13
toddler meltdowns and depression.
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ุงู†ู‡ูŠุงุฑุงุช ุงู„ุฃุทูุงู„ ุงู„ุตุบุงุฑ ูˆุงู„ุงูƒุชุฆุงุจ.
01:16
The dishes stayed in the sink for days.
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ุธู„ุช ุงู„ุฃุทุจุงู‚ ููŠ ุงู„ุญูˆุถ ู„ุนุฏุฉ ุฃูŠุงู….
01:18
The laundry pile reached impressive heights.
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ูˆุตู„ุช ูƒูˆู…ุฉ ุงู„ุบุณูŠู„ ุฅู„ู‰ ุงุฑุชูุงุน ุดุงู‡ู‚.
01:21
And there was often not a path to walk from room to room.
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ูˆููŠ ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃุญูŠุงู† ู„ู… ูŠูƒู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุทุฑูŠู‚ ู„ู„ุณูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุบุฑูุฉ ุฅู„ู‰ ุฃุฎุฑู‰.
01:25
And when I should have been catching up on sleep,
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ูˆุญูŠู†ู…ุง ูƒุงู† ูŠุญูŠู† ูˆู‚ุช ุงู„ู†ูˆู… ุŒ
01:27
I would lay in bed at night and think to myself,
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ูƒู†ุช ุฃุฑู‚ุฏ ููŠ ุงู„ุณุฑูŠุฑ ู„ูŠู„ุง ูˆุฃู‚ูˆู„ ููŠ ู†ูุณูŠ ุŒ
01:30
"I'm failing.
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โ€œุฃู†ุง ุฃูุดู„.
01:33
Maybe I'm not capable of being a good mom to two kids."
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ุฑุจู…ุง ู„ุณุช ู‚ุงุฏุฑุฉ ุนู„ู‰ ุฃู† ุฃูƒูˆู† ุฃู…ุงู‹ ุฌูŠุฏุฉ ู„ุทูู„ูŠู†โ€œ.
01:39
I decided to post a joke video on TikTok one day
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ููŠ ูŠูˆู… ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃูŠุงู… ู‚ุฑุฑุช ุฃู† ุฃู†ุดุฑ ููŠุฏูŠูˆ ู…ุถุญูƒ ุนู„ู‰ TikTok
01:42
about my house-turned-disaster.
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ุนู† ู…ู†ุฒู„ูŠ ุงู„ุฐูŠ ุชุญูˆู„ ุฅู„ู‰ ูƒุงุฑุซุฉ.
01:44
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
01:46
Some funny shots of my clutter and my dishes
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ุจุนุถ ุงู„ู„ู‚ุทุงุช ุงู„ู…ุถุญูƒุฉ ู…ู† ุงู„ููˆุถู‰ ูˆุงู„ุฃุทุจุงู‚ุŒ
01:50
and my enchilada pan to a nice beat.
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ูˆู…ู‚ู„ุงุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุดูŠู„ุงุฏุง ุฅู„ู‰ ุฅูŠู‚ุงุน ู„ุทูŠู.
01:54
Sort of a laugh to keep from cry situation, surely.
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ู†ูˆุนุง ู…ุง ุฃุถุญูƒ ู„ู„ุงู…ุชู†ุงุน ุนู† ุงู„ุจูƒุงุกุŒ ุจู„ุง ุดูƒ.
01:58
And I got a comment.
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ูˆ ุญุตู„ุช ุนู„ู‰ ุชุนู„ูŠู‚.
02:02
"Lazy."
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โ€œูƒุณูˆู„ุฉ.โ€
02:05
Yeah, that stung.
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ู†ุนู…ุŒ ู‡ุฐุง ู…ุคู„ู….
02:08
But I must be a glutton for punishment
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ู„ูƒู† ูŠุฌุจ ุฃู† ุฃูƒูˆู† ุดุฑู‡ุฉ ู„ู„ุนู‚ุงุจ
02:10
because I kept posting videos about my messy house.
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ู„ุฃู†ูŠ ุธู„ู„ุช ุฃู†ุดุฑ ู…ู‚ุงุทุน ููŠุฏูŠูˆ ุนู† ุจูŠุชูŠ ุงู„ููˆุถูˆูŠ.
02:12
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
02:13
Video after video of all of the weird tips and tricks that I was using
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ููŠุฏูŠูˆ ุจุนุฏ ููŠุฏูŠูˆ ู„ุฌู…ูŠุน ุงู„ู†ุตุงุฆุญ ุงู„ุบุฑูŠุจุฉ ูˆุงู„ุญูŠู„ ุงู„ุชูŠ ูƒู†ุช ุฃุณุชุฎุฏู…ู‡ุงุŒ
02:18
to try and get it back in order
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ู„ู…ุญุงูˆู„ุฉ ุชุฑุชูŠุจู‡ ู…ู† ุฌุฏูŠุฏุŒ
02:20
while managing my feelings of being overwhelmed.
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ุญูŠู†ู…ุง ูƒู†ุช ุฃุชุญูƒู… ุจู…ุดุงุนุฑ ุงู„ุงุฑุชุจุงูƒ.
02:22
And I braced myself for more criticism.
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ูˆู‡ูŠุฃุช ู†ูุณูŠ ู„ู…ุฒูŠุฏ ู…ู† ุงู„ู†ู‚ุฏ.
02:25
But what happened was entirely different.
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ู„ูƒู† ู…ุง ุญุฏุซ ูƒุงู† ู…ุฎุชู„ูู‹ุง ุชู…ุงู…ู‹ุง.
02:29
In the comment sections of my videos,
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ููŠ ู‚ุณู… ุงู„ุชุนู„ูŠู‚ุงุช ู„ููŠุฏูŠูˆู‡ุงุชูŠุŒ
02:30
hundreds of stories came rolling in.
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ูˆุตู„ุชู†ูŠ ู…ุฆุงุช ุงู„ู‚ุตุต.
02:34
Stories like Amanda,
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ู…ุซู„ ู‚ุตุฉ ุฃู…ุงู†ุฏุงุŒ
02:37
who, after losing her baby in the second trimester,
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ุจุนุฏ ุฃู† ูู‚ุฏุช ุทูู„ู‡ุง ููŠ ู…ู†ุชุตู ุงู„ุญู…ู„ุŒ
02:39
was standing frozen at her sink
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ูƒุงู†ุช ุชู‚ู ุจุฌู…ูˆุฏ ุนู†ุฏ ู…ุบุณู„ุชู‡ุง
02:41
because she forgot how to wash dishes.
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ู„ุฃู†ู‡ุง ู†ุณูŠุช ูƒูŠู ุชุบุณู„ ุงู„ุฃุทุจุงู‚.
02:44
Stories like Lula,
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ูƒู‚ุตุฉ ู„ูˆู„ุงุŒ
02:46
whose chronic health problems and depression
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ุญูŠุซ ู…ุดุงูƒู„ู‡ุง ุงู„ุตุญูŠุฉ ุงู„ู…ุฒู…ู†ุฉ ูˆุงู„ุงูƒุชุฆุงุจ
02:48
made it difficult for her to brush her teeth.
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ุฌุนู„ ุชู†ุธูŠู ุฃุณู†ุงู†ู‡ุง ุฃู…ุฑู‹ุง ุตุนุจู‹ุง.
02:50
Story after story of people with depression, ADHD,
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ู‚ุตุฉ ุชู„ูˆ ุงู„ุฃุฎุฑู‰ ู„ุฃู†ุงุณ ู…ุน ุงู„ุงูƒุชุฆุงุจุŒ ADHDุŒ
02:55
autism, burnout, bereavement,
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ุงู„ุชูˆุญุฏุŒ ุงู„ุฅุฑู‡ุงู‚ุŒ ุงู„ูุฌูŠุนุฉุŒ
02:56
all struggling with these daily tasks.
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ุฌู…ูŠุนู‡ู… ูŠูƒุงูุญูˆู† ู…ุน ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ู…ู‡ุงู… ุงู„ูŠูˆู…ูŠุฉ.
03:00
And it might seem odd to some of you
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ูˆู‚ุฏ ูŠุจุฏูˆ ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ุบุฑูŠุจุงู‹ ู„ุจุนุถูƒู…
03:02
that someone could struggle with tasks that are so simple.
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ุฃู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ู…ู† ูŠูƒุงูุญ ู„ู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจู…ู‡ุงู… ุจุณูŠุทุฉ ู„ู„ุบุงูŠุฉ.
03:06
But are they simple?
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ู„ูƒู† ู‡ู„ ู‡ูŠ ุจุณูŠุทุฉุŸ
03:09
Let's think about what really goes into something like laundry.
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ุฏุนูˆู†ุง ู†ููƒุฑ ุญู‚ุง ููŠ ู…ุง ูŠุญุฏุซ ู…ุน ุดูŠุก ู…ุง ู…ุซู„ ุงู„ุบุณูŠู„.
03:12
Everyone picture your laundry pile right now, OK?
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ู‚ูˆู…ูˆุง ุฌู…ูŠุนูƒู… ุจุชุตูˆูŠุฑ ูƒูˆู…ุฉ ุบุณูŠู„ูƒู… ุงู„ุขู†ุŒ ุญุณู†ู‹ุงุŸ
03:16
How many clean clothes do you have left right now?
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ูƒู… ุชุจู‚ู‰ ู„ูƒู… ู…ู† ุงู„ู…ู„ุงุจุณ ุงู„ู†ุธูŠูุฉ ุงู„ุขู†ุŸ
03:19
Can you wash tomorrow, or must it be today?
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ู‡ู„ ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒู… ุบุณูŠู„ู‡ุง ุบุฏู‹ุง ุฃู… ูŠุฌุจ ุฃู† ุชูุนู„ ุฐู„ูƒ ุงู„ูŠูˆู…ุŸ
03:21
Do you need to prioritize, presort pre-treat anything?
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ู‡ู„ ุชุญุชุงุฌ ุฅู„ู‰ ุชุญุฏูŠุฏ ุงู„ุฃูˆู„ูˆูŠุงุชุŒ ูˆูุฑุฒ ูˆุชุฎุทูŠุท ูƒู„ ูุนู„ุŸ
03:24
Did you grow up with anybody that taught you how to do that?
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ู‡ู„ ู†ุดุฃุช ู…ุน ุดุฎุต ุนู„ู…ูƒ ูƒูŠู ุชูุนู„ ุฐู„ูƒุŸ
03:27
You're out of laundry detergent,
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ู†ูุฏุช ู…ู†ูƒ ู…ู†ุธูุงุช ุงู„ุบุณูŠู„ุŒ
03:28
if you work three jobs, when are you going to get to the store next?
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ุฅุฐุง ูƒู†ุช ุชุนู…ู„ ููŠ ุซู„ุงุซ ูˆุธุงุฆูุŒ ูู…ุชู‰ ุชุณุชุทูŠุน ุงู„ุฐู‡ุงุจ ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ู…ุชุฌุฑุŸ
03:31
If you get there, can you afford it?
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ุฅุฐุง ูˆุตู„ุช ุฅู„ู‰ ู‡ู†ุงูƒุŒ ู‡ู„ ุชุณุชุทูŠุน ุดุฑุงุกู‡ุŸ
03:33
And if you can, which one you choose?
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ูˆุฅุฐุง ุงุณุชุทุนุชุŒ ุฃูŠ ู…ู†ุชุฌ ุณุชุฎุชุงุฑุŸ
03:35
And you get it all home, get in there,
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ูˆุชุญู…ู„ ูƒู„ ุดูŠุก ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ู…ู†ุฒู„ุŒ ูˆุชุฏุฎู„ู‡ุŒ
03:37
Now pick a setting. Which one? I don't know. Google it.
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ุงู„ุขู†ุŒ ุงุฎุชุฑ ุงู„ุฅุนุฏุงุฏุงุช. ุฃูŠู‡ุงุŸ ู„ุง ุฃุนู„ู…. ุงุจุญุซ ููŠ ุฌูˆุฌู„.
03:39
By the way, you have memory problems,
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ุจุงู„ู…ู†ุงุณุจุฉุŒ ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ู…ุดุงูƒู„ ููŠ ุงู„ุฐุงูƒุฑุฉุŒ
03:41
so you'll remember that wash in about three days,
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ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ุณุชุชุฐูƒุฑ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุบุณูŠู„ ุจุนุฏ ุญูˆุงู„ูŠ ุซู„ุงุซุฉ ุฃูŠุงู…ุŒ
03:43
when it's mildewed into the washer.
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ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุชูƒูˆู† ู‚ุฏ ุชุนูู†ุช ููŠ ุงู„ุบุณุงู„ุฉ.
03:45
It's OK, just re-wash it, and get it into the dryer.
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ู„ุง ุจุฃุณุŒ ูู‚ุท ุฃุนุฏ ุบุณู„ู‡ุŒ ูˆุฅุฏุฎุงู„ู‡ ููŠ ุงู„ู…ุฌูู.
03:48
You'll forget that too, and it'll wrinkle. Now dry it again.
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ุณุชู†ุณู‰ ุฐู„ูƒ ุฃูŠุถู‹ุงุŒ ูˆุณูˆู ูŠุชุฌุนุฏ. ุงู„ุขู† ุฌููู‡ ู…ุฑุฉ ุฃุฎุฑู‰.
03:50
Now all you have to do is get it out and fold it.
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ุงู„ุขู† ูƒู„ ู…ุง ุนู„ูŠูƒ ูุนู„ู‡ ู‡ูˆ ุฅุฎุฑุงุฌู‡ ูˆุทูŠู‡.
03:53
But also you have three small children.
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ูˆู„ูƒู† ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง ุซู„ุงุซุฉ ุฃุทูุงู„ ุตุบุงุฑ.
03:55
And those three small children haven't given you a moment alone
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ูˆุฃูˆู„ุฆูƒ ุงู„ุซู„ุงุซุฉ ุงู„ุตุบุงุฑ ู„ู† ูŠุนุทูˆูƒ ู„ุญุธุฉ ุจู…ูุฑุฏูƒ
03:58
in quite some time.
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ุญุชู‰ ุญูŠู† ุขุฎุฑ.
03:59
When you finally get that moment, you have to decide,
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ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุชุญุตู„ูŠ ุฃุฎูŠุฑู‹ุง ุนู„ู‰ ุชู„ูƒ ุงู„ู„ุญุธุฉุŒ ุนู„ูŠูƒ ุฃู† ุชู‚ุฑุฑูŠุŒ
04:01
are you going to finish the laundry or eat a sandwich or take a nap?
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ู‡ู„ ุณุชู†ุชู‡ูŠ ู…ู† ุงู„ุบุณูŠู„ ุฃู… ุณุชุฃูƒู„ูŠ ุดุทูŠุฑุฉ ุฃู… ุณุชุฃุฎุฐูŠ ู‚ูŠู„ูˆู„ุฉุŸ
04:05
Time's up, you didn't do any of it, you stared at the wall.
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ุงู†ุชู‡ู‰ ุงู„ูˆู‚ุชุŒ ู„ู… ุชูุนู„ูŠ ุฃูŠู‹ุง ู…ู†ู‡ุงุŒ ูƒู†ุช ุชุญุฏู‚ูŠู† ููŠ ุงู„ุญุงุฆุท.
04:07
You have decision fatigue
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ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ุฅุฌู‡ุงุฏ ู…ู† ุงุชุฎุงุฐ ุงู„ู‚ุฑุงุฑ
04:09
because the burden of carrying a home all by yourself has burnt you out.
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ุงู†ู‡ูƒูƒูŠ ุงู„ุชุนุจุŒ ุจุณุจุจ ุญู…ู„ ุนุจุก ุงู„ู…ู†ุฒู„ ุจู…ูุฑุฏูƒ.
04:13
You see, for some of you, all of the steps and the skills
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ูƒู…ุง ุชุฑูˆู†ุŒ ุจุงู„ู†ุณุจุฉ ู„ู„ุจุนุถ ู…ู†ูƒู…ุŒ ูƒู„ ุงู„ุฎุทูˆุงุช ูˆุงู„ู…ู‡ุงุฑุงุช
04:16
that go into care tasks run on autopilot.
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ุงู„ุชูŠ ุชุฏุฎู„ ููŠ ู…ู‡ุงู… ุงู„ุฑุนุงูŠุฉ ุชุนู…ู„ ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุทูŠุงุฑ ุงู„ุขู„ูŠ.
04:20
But for millions of people, the autopilot is broken.
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ู„ูƒู† ุจุงู„ู†ุณุจุฉ ู„ู…ู„ุงูŠูŠู† ุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุตุŒ ุงู„ุทูŠุงุฑ ุงู„ุขู„ูŠ ู…ุนุทู„.
04:25
And what's worse, what if you had to do all of that when your mom just died
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ูˆู‡ู†ุงูƒ ู…ุง ู‡ูˆ ุฃุณูˆุฃุŒ ู…ุงุฐุง ู„ูˆ ูƒุงู† ุนู„ูŠูƒ ุงู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจูƒู„ ุฐู„ูƒ ุจุนุฏ ูˆูุงุฉ ูˆุงู„ุฏุชูƒ ู„ู„ุชูˆ.
04:29
or your job just fired you
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ุฃูˆ ุจุนุฏ ูุตู„ูƒ ู…ู† ูˆุธูŠูุชูƒ ู„ู„ุชูˆ.
04:31
or youโ€™re using every ounce of strength that you have
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ุฃูˆ ุฃู†ูƒ ุชุณุชุฎุฏู…ูŠู† ูƒู„ ู…ุง ุชู…ู„ูƒูŠู† ู…ู† ู‚ูˆุฉ ูˆ ุตุจุฑ
04:34
to just not kill yourself today?
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ู„ูƒูŠ ู„ุง ุชู‚ุชู„ูŠ ู†ูุณูƒ ุงู„ูŠูˆู…ุŸ
ุฅุฐุง ูƒู†ุช ู‚ุฑูŠุจุฉ ู…ู† ุงู„ูˆุตูˆู„ ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ุนู„ุงุฌุŒ
04:40
If you have access to therapy,
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04:41
it's unlikely your therapist will ever ask you about your laundry.
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ูู…ู† ุบูŠุฑ ุงู„ู…ุฑุฌุญ ุฃู† ูŠุณุฃู„ูƒ ุงู„ู…ุนุงู„ุฌ ุงู„ุฎุงุต ุจูƒ ุนู† ุงู„ุบุณูŠู„.
04:46
I've worked in mental health for about a decade.
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ู„ู‚ุฏ ุนู…ู„ุช ููŠ ู…ุฌุงู„ ุงู„ุตุญุฉ ุงู„ุนู‚ู„ูŠุฉ ู„ุนู‚ุฏ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฒู…ู† ุชู‚ุฑูŠุจู‹ุง.
04:48
I've been in therapy even longer,
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ูˆูƒู†ุช ููŠ ุงู„ุนู„ุงุฌ ู„ูุชุฑุฉ ุฃุทูˆู„ุŒ
04:50
and the only time I ever had a provider talk to me
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ูˆุงู„ู…ุฑุฉ ุงู„ูˆุญูŠุฏุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ุฃู…ุถูŠุชู‡ุง ูˆุงู„ู…ุนุงู„ุฌ ูŠุชุญุฏุซ ู…ุนูŠุŒ
04:53
about things like cooking and cleaning and brushing my teeth
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ุนู† ุฃุดูŠุงุก ู…ุซู„ ุงู„ุทู‡ูŠ ูˆุงู„ุชู†ุธูŠู ูˆุชู†ุธูŠู ุงู„ุฃุณู†ุงู†
04:56
was when I was in a psych hospital as a teenager.
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ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ูƒู†ุช ููŠ ู…ุณุชุดูู‰ ู†ูุณูŠ ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ูƒู†ุช ู…ุฑุงู‡ู‚ุฉ.
04:59
Yet here were hundreds of thousands of people
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ูˆู…ุน ุฐู„ูƒุŒ ูƒุงู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ู…ุฆุงุช ุงู„ุขู„ุงู ู…ู† ุงู„ู†ุงุณ
05:03
in my comment sections telling me
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ููŠ ุงู„ุชุนู„ูŠู‚ุงุช ุชุฎุจุฑู†ูŠุŒ
05:05
that these daily care tasks were a major pain point in their life.
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ุฃู† ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ู…ู‡ุงู… ุงู„ู…ู†ุฒู„ูŠุฉ ุงู„ูŠูˆู…ูŠุฉ ูƒุงู†ุช ู†ู‚ุทุฉ ุฃู„ู… ุฑุฆูŠุณูŠุฉ ููŠ ุญูŠุงุชู‡ู….
05:11
And so I started to wonder, what if we started here?
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ูˆู‡ูƒุฐุง ุจุฏุฃุช ุฃุชุณุงุกู„ุŒ ู…ุงุฐุง ู„ูˆ ุจุฏุฃู†ุง ู…ู† ู‡ู†ุงุŸ
05:18
What if we started with these care tasks?
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ู…ุงุฐุง ู„ูˆ ุจุฏุฃู†ุง ู…ู† ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ู…ู‡ุงู…ุŸ
05:21
Could making daily tasks easier improve mental health quicker?
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ู‡ู„ ู…ู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ุงู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจุงู„ู…ู‡ุงู… ุงู„ูŠูˆู…ูŠุฉ ุจุณู‡ูˆู„ุฉ ูŠุณุงุนุฏ ุนู„ู‰ ุชุญุณูŠู† ุงู„ุตุญุฉ ุงู„ุนู‚ู„ูŠุฉุจุดูƒู„ ุฃุณุฑุนุŸ
05:28
In the two years that I've been posting and writing
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ููŠ ุงู„ุนุงู…ูŠู† ุงู„ู„ุฐูŠู† ุฃู…ุถูŠุชู‡ู…ุง ููŠ ุงู„ู†ุดุฑ ูˆุงู„ูƒุชุงุจุฉ
05:30
about the intersection of mental health and care tasks,
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ุญูˆู„ ุงู„ุชู‚ุงุทุน ุจูŠู† ุงู„ุตุญุฉ ุงู„ุนู‚ู„ูŠุฉ ูˆุงู„ู…ู‡ุงู… ุงู„ูŠูˆู…ูŠุฉุŒ
05:33
I've come up with a philosophy that does just this.
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ุชูˆุตู„ุช ุฅู„ู‰ ูู„ุณูุฉ ุชุคูƒุฏ ุฐู„ูƒ.
05:36
And it all starts with one simple idea.
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ูˆูƒู„ ุฐู„ูƒ ูŠุจุฏุฃ ุจููƒุฑุฉ ูˆุงุญุฏุฉ ุจุณูŠุทุฉ.
05:39
Cooking, cleaning, laundry,
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ุงู„ุทุจุฎ ูˆุงู„ุชู†ุธูŠู ูˆุงู„ุบุณูŠู„ุŒ
05:43
it doesn't make you a good person.
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ู„ุง ุชุฌุนู„ูƒ ุดุฎุตู‹ุง ุฌูŠุฏู‹ุง.
05:46
Or a bad person.
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ุฃูˆ ุดุฎุตุง ุณูŠุก.
05:49
Listen to me.
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ุงุณุชู…ุนูˆุง ุฅู„ูŠ.
05:51
Care tasks are morally neutral.
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ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ู…ู‡ุงู… ุงู„ูŠูˆู…ูŠุฉ ู…ุญุงูŠุฏุฉ ุฃุฎู„ุงู‚ูŠุง.
05:58
Now, I know that if you've been watching Martha Stewart for decades --
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ุงู„ุขู†ุŒ ุฃุนู„ู… ุฃู†ู‡ ุฅุฐุง ูƒู†ุชู… ุชุดุงู‡ุฏูˆู† ู…ุงุฑุซุง ุณุชูŠูˆุงุฑุช ู„ุนู‚ูˆุฏ -
06:01
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
06:03
and scrolling the perfect Pinterest aesthetic every day,
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ูˆุชู‚ู„ุจูˆู† ูƒู„ ูŠูˆู… ุตูุญุงุช ุงู„ุฌู…ุงู„ ุงู„ู…ุซุงู„ูŠ ููŠ PinterestุŒ
06:07
that it can feel like struggling with these tasks is a moral failure.
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ูŠู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ุชุดุนุฑ ูˆูƒุฃู† ูุดู„ูƒ ููŠ ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ู…ู‡ุงู… ู‡ูˆ ูุดู„ ุฃุฎู„ุงู‚ูŠ.
06:11
Like, it's because we're lazy
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ู‡ุฐุง ู„ุฃู†ู†ุง ูƒุณุงู„ู‰
06:13
or irresponsible or we're immature.
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ุฃูˆ ุบูŠุฑ ู…ุณุคูˆู„ูŠู† ุฃูˆ ุฃู†ู†ุง ุบูŠุฑ ู†ุงุถุฌูŠู†.
06:16
But having an organized closet doesn't make you a success.
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ู„ูƒู† ุงู…ุชู„ุงูƒ ุฎุฒุงู†ุฉ ู…ู†ุธู…ุฉ ู„ุง ุชุฌุนู„ูƒ ู†ุงุฌุญู‹ุง.
06:19
And living out of a pile of laundry on the floor doesn't make you a failure.
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ูˆุงู„ุชุนุงูŠุด ู…ุน ูƒูˆู…ุฉ ู…ู† ุงู„ุบุณูŠู„ ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฃุฑุถ ู„ุง ูŠุฌุนู„ูƒ ูุงุดู„ุงู‹.
06:23
You know where the shirt you want to wear is, it just ...
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ุฃู†ุช ุชุนุฑู ุฃูŠู† ุงู„ู‚ู…ูŠุต ุงู„ุฐูŠ ุชุฑูŠุฏูŠู† ุฃู† ุชุฑุชุฏูŠุŒ ุฅู†ู‡ ูู‚ุท ...
06:26
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
06:29
It might take you a bit of sifting to find it.
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ู‚ุฏ ูŠุณุชู‡ู„ูƒ ู‚ู„ูŠู„ุง ู…ู† ุงู„ุบุฑุจู„ุฉ ู„ู„ุนุซูˆุฑ ุนู„ูŠู‡.
06:31
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
06:33
The truth is, it's not about morality.
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ุงู„ุญู‚ูŠู‚ุฉ ู‡ูŠ ุฃู† ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ู„ุง ูŠุชุนู„ู‚ ุจุงู„ุฃุฎู„ุงู‚ ูˆุงู„ุถู…ูŠุฑ.
06:36
It's about functionality.
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ูŠุชุนู„ู‚ ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ุจุงู„ูุนุงู„ูŠุฉ.
06:39
Does your home work for you?
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ู‡ู„ ูŠุนู…ู„ ู…ู†ุฒู„ูƒ ู…ู† ุฃุฌู„ูƒุŸ
06:42
Not some hypothetical houseguest that is coming to inspect your closet.
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ู„ุง ูŠูˆุฌุฏ ุถูŠู ุงูุชุฑุงุถูŠ ุณูŠุฃุชูŠ ู„ุชูู‚ุฏ ุฎุฒุงู†ุชูƒ.
06:45
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
06:48
I mentioned Amanda, who had lost her baby
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ู„ู‚ุฏ ุฐูƒุฑุช ุฃู…ุงู†ุฏุงุŒ ุงู„ุชูŠ ูู‚ุฏุช ุทูู„ู‡ุง
06:51
and forgot how to wash dishes.
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ูˆู†ุณูŠุช ูƒูŠู ุชุบุณู„ ุงู„ุตุญูˆู†.
06:53
She told me that when her husband would go to work,
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ู‚ุงู„ุช ู„ูŠ ุฃู†ู‡ ุญูŠู† ูŠุฐู‡ุจ ุฒูˆุฌู‡ุง ู„ู„ุนู…ู„ุŒ
06:56
she would lay on the floor next to the empty crib
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ูƒุงู†ุช ุชุฑู‚ุฏ ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฃุฑุถ ุจุฌุงู†ุจ ุงู„ุณุฑูŠุฑ ุงู„ูุงุฑุบ
06:58
and say to herself,
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ูˆุชู‚ูˆู„ ู„ู†ูุณู‡ุงุŒ
07:00
"What can I bring to my family if I can't even wash dishes?"
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โ€œู…ุงุฐุง ูŠู…ูƒู†ู†ูŠ ุฃู† ุฃูุนู„ ู„ุนุงุฆู„ุชูŠ ุฅุฐุง ู„ู… ุฃุชู…ูƒู† ู…ู† ุบุณู„ ุงู„ุตุญูˆู†ุŸโ€
07:05
But that changed
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ู„ูƒู† ู‡ุฐุง ุชุบูŠุฑุŒ
07:06
when she began to see care tasks as morally neutral.
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ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุจุฏุฃุช ุชุฑู‰ ุฃู† ุงู„ู…ู‡ุงู… ุงู„ู…ู†ุฒู„ูŠุฉ ู…ุญุงูŠุฏุฉ ุฃุฎู„ุงู‚ูŠู‹ุง.
07:10
All of the sudden, the dishes in the sink
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ูุฌุฃุฉุŒ ุงู„ุฃุทุจุงู‚ ุงู„ุชูŠ ููŠ ุงู„ุญูˆุถ
07:12
weren't representations of her failure as a wife,
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ู„ู… ุชุนุฏ ุชู…ุซู„ ูุดู„ู‡ุง ูƒุฒูˆุฌุฉุŒ
07:16
but instead she would look at the pile
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ู„ูƒู†ู‡ุง ุจุฏู„ุงู‹ ู…ู† ุฐู„ูƒ ูƒุงู†ุช ุชู†ุธุฑ ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ูƒูˆู…ุฉ
07:19
and think to herself, "What do I need to function tomorrow morning?"
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ูˆุชููƒุฑ ููŠ ู†ูุณู‡ุง: โ€œู…ุงุฐุง ุฃุญุชุงุฌ ููŠ ุตุจุงุญ ุงู„ุบุฏุŸ โ€
07:23
And then pull two coffee cups out of the pile to wash.
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ุซู… ุชุณุญุจ ูู†ุฌุงู†ูŠู† ู…ู† ุงู„ู‚ู‡ูˆุฉ ู…ู† ุงู„ูƒูˆู…ุฉ ู„ุบุณู„ู‡ุง.
07:28
She had her coffee the next morning,
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ุดุฑุจุช ู‚ู‡ูˆุชู‡ุง ููŠ ุตุจุงุญ ุงู„ูŠูˆู… ุงู„ุชุงู„ูŠุŒ
07:30
and it was a little bit easier to get up off the floor.
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ูˆุฃุตุจุญ ุงู„ู†ู‡ูˆุถ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃุฑุถ ุฃุณู‡ู„ ู‚ู„ูŠู„ุงู‹.
07:34
When we liberate ourselves from the idea that we are a good person or a bad person
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ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ู†ุญุฑุฑ ุฃู†ูุณู†ุง ู…ู† ููƒุฑุฉ ุฃู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุดุฎุต ุฌูŠุฏ ุฃูˆ ุดุฎุต ุณูŠุกุŒ
07:38
with care tasks,
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ู„ู‚ูŠุงู…ู‡ ุจุฃุนู…ุงู„ ุงู„ุนู†ุงูŠุฉุŒ
07:39
we can stop thinking about the right way to do things.
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ูุณูŠู…ูƒู†ู†ุง ุงู„ุชูˆู‚ู ุนู† ุงู„ุชููƒูŠุฑ ุญูˆู„ ุงู„ุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ุงู„ู…ุซุงู„ูŠุฉ ู„ูุนู„ ุงู„ุฃุดูŠุงุก.
07:42
About the way that things should be done,
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ุญูˆู„ ุงู„ุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ูŠุฌุจ ุฃู† ุชุชู… ุจู‡ุง ุงู„ุฃู…ูˆุฑุŒ
07:44
and instead start thinking about what we can do
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ูˆุจุฏู„ุงู‹ ู…ู† ุฐู„ูƒ ู†ุจุฏุฃ ููŠ ุงู„ุชููƒูŠุฑ ุญูˆู„ ู…ุง ูŠู…ูƒู†ู†ุง ุงู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจู‡
07:47
with our current barriers
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ู…ุน ุนูˆุงุฆู‚ู†ุง ุงู„ุญุงู„ูŠุฉุŒ
07:50
to improve our quality of life today.
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ู„ุชุญุณูŠู† ู†ูˆุนูŠุฉ ุญูŠุงุชู†ุง ุงู„ูŠูˆู….
07:53
And this is the fun part.
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ูˆู‡ุฐุง ู‡ูˆ ุงู„ุฌุฒุก ุงู„ู…ู…ุชุน.
07:54
Because you get to customize a life that works for you.
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ู„ุฃู†ูƒ ุชุญุตู„ ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุญูŠุงุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ุชู†ุงุณุจูƒ.
07:58
When Lula realized that her problems with brushing her teeth
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ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุฃุฏุฑูƒุช ู„ูˆู„ุง ุฃู† ู…ุดูƒู„ุชู‡ุง ุจุบุณู„ ุฃุณู†ุงู†ู‡ุงุŒ
08:02
were not moral failings,
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ู„ูŠุณุช ูุดู„ุง ุฃุฎู„ุงู‚ูŠู‹ุงุŒ
08:04
she gained the confidence to speak to her dental hygienist,
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ุฃุตุจุญ ู„ุฏูŠู‡ุง ุงู„ุซู‚ุฉ ู„ู„ูƒู„ุงู… ู…ุน ุฃุฎุตุงุฆูŠ ุตุญุฉ ุงู„ุฃุณู†ุงู†ุŒ
08:07
and together they came up with solutions that work around her barriers.
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ูˆู‚ุฏ ุชูˆุตู„ูˆุง ู…ุนู‹ุง ุฅู„ู‰ ุญู„ูˆู„ ู„ู„ุชุบู„ุจ ุนู„ู‰ ุนูˆุงุฆู‚ู‡ุง.
ุฅู†ู‡ุง ุชุนุชู…ุฏ ุงู„ุขู† ุนู„ู‰ ูุฑุงุดุงุฉ ุฃุณู†ุงู† ู…ุฌู‡ุฒุฉ ู…ุณุจู‚ุง ุจุงู„ู…ุนุฌูˆู†
08:12
She now relies on pre-pasted disposable toothbrushes
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08:15
that she keeps in her desk,
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ุชุณุชุนู…ู„ ู„ู…ุฑุฉ ูˆุงุญุฏุฉุŒ ุชุญุชูุธ ุจู‡ุง ููŠ ู…ูƒุชุจู‡ุงุŒ
08:16
floss she keeps in the living room
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ูˆุงู„ุฎูŠุท ุงู„ุฐูŠ ุชุญุชูุธ ุจู‡ ููŠ ุบุฑูุฉ ุงู„ู…ุนูŠุดุฉ
08:18
and a no-rinse prescription toothpaste.
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ูˆู…ุนุฌูˆู† ุฃุณู†ุงู† ุจุฏูˆู† ู…ุถู…ุถุฉ.
08:21
Because by breaking down the component parts of a dental hygiene routine
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ู„ุฃู†ู‡ ุนู† ุทุฑูŠู‚ ุชู‚ุณูŠู… ุฑูˆุชูŠู† ุตุญุฉ ุงู„ุฃุณู†ุงู† ุฅู„ู‰ ุฃู‚ุณุงู… ู…ู†ูุตู„ุฉุŒ
08:26
and ensuring that each step was accessible to her mental and physical needs,
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ูˆุงู„ุชุฃูƒุฏ ู…ู† ุฃู† ูƒู„ ุฎุทูˆุฉ ู…ู…ูƒู†ุฉ ุถู…ู† ู‚ุฏุฑุงุชู‡ุง ุงู„ุนู‚ู„ูŠุฉ ูˆุงู„ุฌุณุฏูŠุฉุŒ
08:31
for the first time in a year, she's done every step in that routine
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ู„ุฃูˆู„ ู…ุฑุฉ ู…ู†ุฐ ุนุงู…ุŒ ู‚ุงู…ุช ุจูƒู„ ุฎุทูˆุฉ ู…ู† ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุฑูˆุชูŠู†
08:34
for two weeks straight.
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ู„ุฃุณุจูˆุนูŠู† ู…ุชุชุงู„ูŠูŠู†.
08:37
She says that now that her teeth are clean,
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ูˆุงู„ุขู† ุชู‚ูˆู„ ุจุณุจุจ ุฃู† ุฃุณู†ุงู†ู‡ุง ู†ุธูŠูุฉุŒ
08:39
she's a little less stressed about tomorrow's problems.
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ุฃุตุจุญุช ุฃู‚ู„ ุชูˆุชุฑุงู‹ ุญูˆู„ ู…ุดุงูƒู„ ุงู„ุบุฏ.
08:44
And this approach can work with any care task
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ูˆูŠู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ูŠู†ุฌุญ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู…ู†ู‡ุฌ ู…ุน ุฃูŠ ู…ู‡ู…ุฉุŒ
08:46
that you struggle with.
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ุชุณุชุตุนุจ ุงู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจู‡ุง.
08:47
Simply ask yourself,
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ุจุจุณุงุทุฉ ุงุณุฃู„ ู†ูุณูƒุŒ
08:49
"What am I trying to achieve
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โ€œู…ุงุฐุง ุฃุญุงูˆู„ ุฃู† ุฃุญู‚ู‚ุŸ
08:50
and how can I achieve it in my way?"
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ูˆูƒูŠู ูŠู…ูƒู†ู†ูŠ ุชุญู‚ูŠู‚ู‡ ุจุทุฑูŠู‚ุชูŠุŸโ€
08:55
In a rare moment of folding clothes ...
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ููŠ ู„ุญุธุฉ ู†ุงุฏุฑุฉ ู„ุทูŠ ุงู„ู…ู„ุงุจุณ ...
08:58
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
09:00
I looked down at the baby onesie that I was folding,
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ู†ุธุฑุช ุฅู„ู‰ ู…ู„ุงุจุณ ุทูู„ูŠ ุงู„ุตุบูŠุฑ ุงู„ุชูŠ ูƒู†ุช ุฃุทูˆูŠู‡ุงุŒ
09:03
and I thought to myself,
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ูˆู‚ู„ุช ู„ู†ูุณูŠุŒ
09:06
"Why am I folding this?"
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โ€œู„ู…ุงุฐุง ุฃุทูˆูŠ ู‡ุฐุงุŸโ€
09:07
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
09:12
Baby onesies don't really wrinkle.
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ู…ู„ุงุจุณ ุงู„ุฃุทูุงู„ ู„ุง ุชุชุฌุนุฏ.
09:14
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
09:15
And even if they did, nobody cares if a baby's in a wrinkly onesie.
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ูˆุญุชู‰ ู„ูˆ ุญุฏุซ ุฐู„ูƒุŒ ูู„ุง ุฃุญุฏ ูŠู‡ุชู… ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู† ุงู„ุทูู„ ูŠุฑุชุฏูŠ ู…ู„ุงุจุณ ู…ุฌุนุฏุฉ.
09:18
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
09:19
Furthermore, I was probably going to change her
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ุนู„ุงูˆุฉ ุนู„ู‰ ุฐู„ูƒุŒ ูƒู†ุช ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฃุฑุฌุญ ุฐุงู‡ุจุฉ ู„ุชุบูŠูŠุฑู‡ุงุŒ
09:22
four times before lunch.
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ุฃุฑุจุน ู…ุฑุงุช ู‚ุจู„ ุงู„ุบุฏุงุก.
09:23
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
09:25
This doesn't need to be folded.
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ู‡ุฐุง ู„ุง ูŠุญุชุงุฌ ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ุทูŠ.
09:28
I said it out loud
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ู‚ู„ุช ุฐู„ูƒ ุจุตูˆุช ุนุงู„
09:30
and literally braced myself
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ูˆุญุฑููŠู‹ุง ุฃู†ู‚ุฐุช ู†ูุณูŠุŒ
09:32
for the laundry police?
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ู…ู† ุดุฑุทุฉ ุงู„ุบุณูŠู„ุŸ
09:36
I don't know.
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ู„ุง ุฃุนู„ู….
09:37
There are rules to laundry.
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ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ู‚ูˆุงุนุฏ ู„ู„ุบุณูŠู„.
09:40
But for the first time,
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ู„ูƒู† ู„ุฃูˆู„ ู…ุฑุฉุŒ
09:41
I stopped thinking about the way that laundry should be done.
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ุชูˆู‚ูุช ุนู† ุงู„ุชููƒูŠุฑ ููŠ ุงู„ุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ูŠุฌุจ ุฃู† ูŠุชู… ููŠู‡ุง ุงู„ุบุณูŠู„.
09:45
And instead, started thinking
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ูˆุจุฏู„ุงู‹ ู…ู† ุฐู„ูƒุŒ ุจุฏุฃุช ุงู„ุชููƒูŠุฑ
09:46
about how I could make laundry functional for me.
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ุญูˆู„ ูƒูŠู ูŠู…ูƒู†ู†ูŠ ุฃู† ุฃุฌุนู„ ู…ู‡ู…ุฉ ุงู„ุบุณูŠู„ ู…ู†ุงุณุจุฉ ุจุงู„ู†ุณุจุฉ ู„ูŠ.
09:50
And I looked down at the fleece pajamas
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ูˆู†ุธุฑุช ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ุจูŠุฌุงู…ุงุช ุงู„ุตูˆููŠุฉ
09:52
and the underwear and the athletic shorts
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ูˆุงู„ู…ู„ุงุจุณ ุงู„ุฏุงุฎู„ูŠุฉ ูˆุงู„ุณุฑุงูˆูŠู„ ุงู„ุฑูŠุงุถูŠุฉ
09:54
and the tank tops
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ูˆุงู„ู‚ู…ุตุงู† ุงู„ุชูŠ ุจู„ุง ุฃูƒู…ุงู…
09:55
and realized almost none of my clothes actually needed to be folded.
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ูˆุฃุฏุฑูƒุช ุฃู† ุฃูŠุง ู…ู† ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ู…ู„ุงุจุณ ุจุญุงุฌุฉ ุฅู„ู‰ ุทูŠ.
10:00
And I haven't folded any of it since.
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ูˆู„ู… ุฃุนุฏ ุฃุทูˆูŠ ุฃูŠู‹ุง ู…ู†ู‡ุง ู…ู†ุฐ ุฐู„ูƒ ุงู„ุญูŠู†.
10:02
(Cheers and applause)
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(ู‡ุชุงู ูˆุชุตููŠู‚)
10:09
I moved all of my family's clothes into one closet off the laundry room,
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ู‚ู…ุช ุจู†ู‚ู„ ูƒู„ ู…ู„ุงุจุณ ุนุงุฆู„ุชูŠ ุฅู„ู‰ ุฎุฒุงู†ุฉ ูˆุงุญุฏุฉ ููŠ ุบุฑูุฉ ุงู„ุบุณูŠู„ุŒ
10:14
and now I just toss things into organized bins unfolded.
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ูˆุงู„ุขู† ุฃุฑู…ูŠ ุงู„ุฃุดูŠุงุก ููŠ ุตู†ุงุฏูŠู‚ ู…ู†ุธู…ุฉ ุจู„ุง ุทูŠ.
10:20
(Cheers and applause)
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(ู‡ุชุงู ูˆุชุตููŠู‚)
10:24
My new motto is: โ€œGood enough is perfect.โ€
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ุดุนุงุฑูŠ ุงู„ุฌุฏูŠุฏ ู‡ูˆ: โ€œุงู„ุฌูŠุฏ ุจู…ุง ููŠู‡ ุงู„ูƒูุงูŠุฉ ู‡ูˆ ุงู„ูƒู…ุงู„โ€œ.
10:27
(Laughter and applause)
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(ู‡ุชุงู ูˆุชุตููŠู‚)
10:32
And everything worth doing is worth doing half-assed.
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ูˆูƒู„ ุดูŠุก ูŠุณุชุญู‚ ุงู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจู‡ ูŠุณุชุญู‚ ุฃู† ู†ู‚ูˆู… ุจู‡ ุจู†ุตู ุงู„ุฌู‡ุฏ.
10:35
(Laughter and applause)
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(ู‡ุชุงู ูˆุชุตููŠู‚)
10:41
You have to give yourself permission to do a little.
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ุนู„ูŠูƒู… ุฃู† ุชุนุทูˆุง ุฃู†ูุณูƒู… ุฅุฐู†ู‹ุง ู„ู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจุงู„ู‚ู„ูŠู„.
10:44
To do it with shortcuts.
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ู„ู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจุฐู„ูƒ ุจุทุฑู‚ ู…ุฎุชุตุฑุฉ.
10:46
To do it while breaking all of the rules.
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ู„ู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจุฐู„ูƒ ู…ุน ูƒุณุฑ ุฌู…ูŠุน ุงู„ู‚ูˆุงุนุฏ.
10:50
And replace that inner voice that says,
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ูˆุงุณุชุจุฏู„ูˆุง ุฐู„ูƒ ุงู„ุตูˆุช ุงู„ุฏุงุฎู„ูŠ ุงู„ุฐูŠ ูŠู‚ูˆู„ุŒ
10:53
โ€œIโ€™m failing,โ€
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โ€œุฃู†ุง ุฃูุดู„โ€ุŒ
10:55
with one that says, "I'm having a hard time right now.
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ุจุตูˆุช ูŠู‚ูˆู„ุŒ โ€œุฃู†ุง ุฃูˆุงุฌู‡ ูˆู‚ุช ุตุนุจ ุงู„ุขู†.
10:59
And people who are having a hard time deserve compassion."
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ูˆุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต ุงู„ุฐูŠู† ูŠู…ุฑูˆู† ุจุฃูˆู‚ุงุช ุนุตูŠุจุฉ ูŠุณุชุญู‚ูˆู† ุงู„ุฑุญู…ุฉโ€œ.
11:04
If it's too hard to shower today,
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ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู† ู…ู† ุงู„ุตุนุจ ุงู„ุงุณุชุญู…ุงู… ุงู„ูŠูˆู…ุŒ
11:06
grab the baby wipes.
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ุงุณุชุนู…ู„ูŠ ู…ู†ุงุฏูŠู„ ุงู„ุฃุทูุงู„.
11:09
It may not be the normal way to do it,
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ู‚ุฏ ู„ุง ุชูƒูˆู† ุงู„ุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ุงู„ุนุงุฏูŠุฉ ู„ู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจุฐู„ูƒุŒ
11:11
but you deserve to be clean.
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ู„ูƒู†ูƒ ุชุณุชุญู‚ูŠู† ุฃู† ุชูƒูˆู†ูŠ ู†ุธูŠูุฉ.
11:15
If it's too hard to cook dinner,
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ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู† ู…ู† ุงู„ุตุนุจ ุทู‡ูŠ ุงู„ุนุดุงุกุŒ
11:18
get paper plates,
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ุงุณุชุฎุฏู…ูŠ ุฃุทุจุงู‚ ูˆุฑู‚ูŠุฉุŒ
11:20
heat up something frozen.
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ู‚ูˆู…ูŠ ุจุชุณุฎูŠู† ุทุนุงู… ู…ุฌู…ุฏ.
11:21
Youโ€™ll go back to cooking and washing another day,
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ุณุชุนูˆุฏูŠู† ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ุทู‡ูŠ ูˆุงู„ุชุธูŠู ููŠ ูˆู‚ุช ู„ุงุญู‚ุŒ
11:23
but the day is not today.
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ู„ูƒู† ุงู„ูŠูˆู… ู„ูŠุณ ุฐู„ูƒ ุงู„ูŠูˆู….
11:25
And in the meantime,
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ูˆููŠ ุงู„ูˆู‚ุช ุงู„ุฑุงู‡ู†ุŒ
11:26
you deserve to eat.
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ุฃู†ุช ุชุณุชุญู‚ูŠู† ุฃู† ุชุฃูƒู„ูŠ.
ุฅุฐุง ูƒู†ุช ู…ูƒุชุฆุจุฉ ุฌุฏู‹ุง ู„ุฏุฑุฌุฉ ุฃู†ูƒ ู„ุง ุชุณุชุทูŠุนู† ุชู†ุธูŠู ุงู„ุฃุทุจุงู‚ุŒ
11:30
If you're too depressed to do your dishes,
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11:32
get a two-gallon Ziploc bag and keep it in your bedroom.
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ุงุญุตู„ูŠ ุนู„ู‰ ูƒูŠุณูŠ ู‚ู…ุงู…ุฉ ุจุณุนุฉ ุฌุงู„ูˆู†ูŠู† ูˆุงุญุชูุธูŠ ุจู‡ ููŠ ุบุฑูุฉ ู†ูˆู…ูƒ.
11:34
Because if you put a dirty plate into a two-gallon Ziploc bag and seal it,
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ู„ุฃู†ูƒ ุฅู† ูˆุถุนุชูŠ ุทุจู‚ุง ู…ุชุณุฎุง ุจูƒูŠุณ ู‚ู…ุงู…ุฉ ูƒุจูŠุฑ ูˆู‚ู…ุชูŠ ุจุฅุบู„ุงู‚ู‡
11:38
it will keep the bugs away.
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ุณุชุจุนุฏูŠู† ุงู„ุญุดุฑุงุช ุจุนูŠุฏู‹ุง.
11:44
And it'll be there for you
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ูˆุณูŠูƒูˆู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ู…ู† ุฃุฌู„ูƒ
11:45
when you're ready to go back to the kitchen.
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ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุชูƒูˆู†ูŠู† ุฌุงู‡ุฒุฉ ู„ู„ุนูˆุฏุฉ ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ู…ุทุจุฎ.
11:48
Because you deserve a sanitary environment
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ู„ุฃู†ูƒ ุชุณุชุญู‚ูŠู† ุจูŠุฆุฉ ุตุญูŠุฉ.
11:52
even if you can't get out of bed.
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ุญุชู‰ ู„ูˆ ู„ู… ุชุณุชุทุนูŠ ุงู„ู†ู‡ูˆุถ ู…ู† ุงู„ุณุฑูŠุฑ.
11:56
I could share with you hundreds of other genius solutions
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ูŠูƒู†ู†ู†ูŠ ุฃู† ุฃุดุงุฑูƒ ู…ุนูƒู†ู… ู…ุฆุงุช ู…ู† ุงู„ุญู„ูˆู„ ุงู„ุนุจู‚ุฑูŠุฉ ุงู„ุฃุฎุฑู‰
11:59
that people have come up with
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ุงู„ุชูŠ ุชูˆุตู„ ุฅู„ูŠู‡ุง ุงู„ู†ุงุณ
12:00
once they embraced the idea that care tasks are morally neutral.
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ุจู…ุฌุฑุฏ ุชุจู†ูŠู‡ู… ู„ููƒุฑุฉ ุฃู† ู…ู‡ุงู… ุงู„ุนู†ุงูŠุฉ ู…ุญุงูŠุฏุฉ ุฃุฎู„ุงู‚ูŠู‹ุง.
12:04
In my experience, people will exhibit mind-blowing creativity
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ู…ู† ุชุฌุฑุจุชูŠุŒ ุณูŠุธู‡ุฑ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ุฅุจุฏุงุนู‹ุง ู…ุฐู‡ู„ู‹ุงุŒ
12:09
when they are only taught
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ูู‚ุท ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ูŠุชู… ุชุนู„ูŠู…ู‡ู…
12:10
how to speak compassionately to themselves.
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ูƒูŠู ูŠุชูƒู„ู…ูˆู† ุจุชุนุงุทู ู…ุน ุฃู†ูุณู‡ู….
12:15
So what if mental health treatment started here?
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ุฅุฐุง ู…ุงุฐุง ู„ูˆ ุจุฏุฃ ุงู„ุนู„ุงุฌ ุงู„ุนู‚ู„ูŠ ู‡ู†ุงุŸ
12:19
By shifting the idea of care tasks
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ุนู† ุทุฑูŠู‚ ุชุบูŠูŠุฑ ู…ุจุฏุฃ ุฃู† ู‚ูŠุงู…ูƒ ุจู…ู‡ุงู… ุงู„ุนู†ุงูŠุฉ
12:22
as these external measurements of your worthiness
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ู‡ูˆ ุงู„ู…ู‚ูŠุงุณ ุงู„ุฎุงุฑุฌูŠ ุงู„ุฐูŠ ูŠุญุฏุฏ ู‚ูŠู…ุชูƒุŒ
12:25
to just being morally-neutral tasks
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ู„ู…ุฌุฑุฏ ูƒูˆู†ู‡ุง ู…ู‡ุงู… ู…ุญุงูŠุฏุฉ ุฃุฎู„ุงู‚ูŠุง
12:27
that you can customize to care for yourself.
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ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุชูƒูŠูŠูู‡ุง ู„ุชุนุชู†ูŠ ุจู†ูุณูƒ.
12:34
Because if it's true
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ู„ุฃู†ู‡ ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู† ุตุญูŠุญู‹ุง
12:36
that regardless of what you struggle with,
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ุฃู†ู‡ ุจุบุถ ุงู„ู†ุธุฑ ุนู…ุง ุชุนุงู†ูŠู‡ุŒ
12:40
you are worthy of a functional space,
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ูุฅู†ูƒ ุชุณุชุญู‚ ู…ุณุงุญุฉ ู‚ุงุจู„ุฉ ู„ู„ุนู…ู„ุŒ
12:45
what else might you be worthy of?
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ู…ุง ุงู„ุฐูŠ ู‚ุฏ ุชุณุชุญู‚ู‡ ุฃูŠุถุงุŸ
12:48
Thank you.
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ุดูƒุฑู‹ุง ู„ูƒู….
12:50
(Applause and cheers)
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(ุชุตููŠู‚ ูˆู‡ุชุงูุงุช)
ุญูˆู„ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู…ูˆู‚ุน

ุณูŠู‚ุฏู… ู„ูƒ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู…ูˆู‚ุน ู…ู‚ุงุทุน ููŠุฏูŠูˆ YouTube ุงู„ู…ููŠุฏุฉ ู„ุชุนู„ู… ุงู„ู„ุบุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ. ุณุชุฑู‰ ุฏุฑูˆุณ ุงู„ู„ุบุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ูŠุชู… ุชุฏุฑูŠุณู‡ุง ู…ู† ู‚ุจู„ ู…ุฏุฑุณูŠู† ู…ู† ุงู„ุฏุฑุฌุฉ ุงู„ุฃูˆู„ู‰ ู…ู† ุฌู…ูŠุน ุฃู†ุญุงุก ุงู„ุนุงู„ู…. ุงู†ู‚ุฑ ู†ู‚ุฑู‹ุง ู…ุฒุฏูˆุฌู‹ุง ููˆู‚ ุงู„ุชุฑุฌู…ุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ ุงู„ู…ุนุฑูˆุถุฉ ุนู„ู‰ ูƒู„ ุตูุญุฉ ููŠุฏูŠูˆ ู„ุชุดุบูŠู„ ุงู„ููŠุฏูŠูˆ ู…ู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ. ูŠุชู… ุชู…ุฑูŠุฑ ุงู„ุชุฑุฌู…ุงุช ุจุงู„ุชุฒุงู…ู† ู…ุน ุชุดุบูŠู„ ุงู„ููŠุฏูŠูˆ. ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู† ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ุฃูŠ ุชุนู„ูŠู‚ุงุช ุฃูˆ ุทู„ุจุงุช ุŒ ูŠุฑุฌู‰ ุงู„ุงุชุตุงู„ ุจู†ุง ุจุงุณุชุฎุฏุงู… ู†ู…ูˆุฐุฌ ุงู„ุงุชุตุงู„ ู‡ุฐุง.

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