The sweaty teacher's lament - Justin Lamb

汗淋淋老師的感慨—賈斯汀·蘭姆 (Justin Lamb)

譯者: Jenna Tsai 審譯者: Regina Chu

I'd love to be the compassionate teacher;

我很想成為一個很有愛心的老師

the tough, but fair teacher.

嚴格又公平的老師

But to my brilliant young minds,

但我那些年輕聰明的學生看我

these scholars for whom I'd stand up at all costs,

我不惜任何代價支持的這些學生

I'm the sweaty teacher.

我只是個汗淋淋的老師

Not the compassionate teacher who,

並非一個有愛心的老師

hey, by the way, happens to sweat,

嘿，你知道嗎？剛好在流汗耶

or even the teacher who sweats.

甚至也不是「那流汗的老師」

No. The sweaty teacher.

都不是，是「汗淋淋老師」

Adjective, sweaty

形容詞，「汗淋淋的」

purposefully coming before noun, teacher,

專門放在名詞「老師」之前

as if to say, "This is Mr. Lamb.

就好像是在說：這位是蘭姆先生

Do not define him by the profession he devotes his life to.

不要以他致力於的職業定義他

Define him by the geysers he calls armpits."

要以他腋下兩股間歇泉來定義他

Every morning, I wake up in a cold...

每天早上起床，我在一個冷冷的......

nevermind.

算了...

The easy-going teacher says,

隨和的老師會說：

"I shouldn't sweat it."

「我不必那麼緊張」 （sweat it 俚語: 別擔心、別著急）

The loud teacher says,

大聲的老師會說 :

"YEAH YOU SHOULDN'T SWEAT IT!"

「對阿！你不應那麼緊張啊」

But even the empathetic teacher doesn't understand.

有同情心的老師甚至也無法了解

I've got funny teacher potential.

其實我有潛力成為一個搞笑老師

I used to pretend the notes I confiscated in class

以前我會把那些我沒收的小紙條

were thank you letters.

假裝是給我的感謝信

Acknowledgements of my great teaching.

對我認真教學的致謝

"Oh ho ho, you shouldn't have!"

「喔呵呵，你太客氣啦~」

Until I intercepted one about a Mr. Stank Pits.

直到我没收了一張有關 「臭腋下先生」的紙條

No, really. You shouldn't have.

不，你真的是不應該！

Ever since I've started developing quirky habits

從那刻起，我開始養成奇怪的習慣

to deflect attention,

為了轉移別人對我的注意力

to become someone new:

讓自己成為一個全新的人

the teacher who shrugs his shoulders

一位充滿幹勁地

really aggressively.

聳肩的老師

The teacher who tucks his tie into his pants

一位把領帶塞進褲子裡

and pulls the end out his fly

又把領帶末端從褲頭拉出的老師

because he's so wacky.

因為他就是這麼瘋瘋癲癲

But it's no use.

但沒什麼管用

Because I had the sweaty teacher, too, for geography.

因為我以前也有一個 汗淋淋的地理老師

And to this day I cannot remember the capital of Bulgaria,

然後到現在我還是記不得 保加利亞的首都在哪裡

and the two bodies of water I know the most about

而讓我記憶最深刻的還是那兩攤水

sat below his shoulders.

就在他的腋窩下

And now, I'm the one

而現在，換我了

looking like I've got the Atlantic and Pacific

看起來像是個摔角手 把大西洋與太平洋

in headlocks.

夾在我雙腋之下

The one being asked, "How was the dunk tank?"

有人問我：「扣籃水箱好玩嗎？」

"There was no dunk tank!

「根本就没有扣籃水箱！

We live in New Orleans and it is humid!"

我們住在紐奧良，那裏潮濕的很！」

is how I'd respond if I was the angry teacher.

如果我是個生氣的老師 我會這樣回答

Instead, I look the kid in the eye

反而，我直視著那孩子

as the sweat cascades down my nose,

汗這時如瀑布從鼻子上流下來

and splatters onto his blank paper below,

濺潑在他桌上的空白紙

and I say, "I sweat because I am working my tail off

我說：「我流汗因為我很賣力地在工作！」 （work the tail off 俚語：工作非常拚命）

and I need you to do the same."

而同樣地，你也該勤奮學習！」