Black life at the intersection of birth and death | Mwende "FreeQuency" Katwiwa

譯者: Lilian Chiu 審譯者: Helen Chang

My name is Mwende Katwiwa

我叫溫蒂卡提瓦，

and I am a poet,

我是詩人、

a Pan-Africanist

泛非主義者，

and a freedom fighter.

也是自由鬥士。

I was 23 years old

我 23 歲的時候，

when I first heard about Reproductive Justice.

第一次聽到生殖正義一詞。

I was working at Women with a Vision,

當時我在 Women with a Vision 工作，

where I learned that Reproductive Justice was defined by Sister Song as:

在那裡，我得知生殖正義被 「Sister Song」定義為：

One: A woman's right to decide if and when she will have a baby

一：女人有權可以決定 是否要／何時想要生孩子，

and the conditions under which she will give birth.

以及她想要在何種條件下生孩子。

Two: A woman's right to decide if she will not have a baby

二：女人有權決定 她是否不要生孩子，

and her options for preventing or ending a pregnancy.

且可以選擇避孕或墮胎。

And three: A woman's right to parent the children she already has

三：女人有權在安全 且健康的環境中教養

in safe and healthy environments

她已經擁有的孩子，

without fear of violence

且不用害怕來自他人

from individuals or the government.

或政府的暴力行為。

I've always wanted to be a mother.

我一直想成為母親。

Growing up, I heard all about the joys of motherhood.

成長過程中，我聽到的 都是當媽媽的喜悅。

I used to dream of watching my womb weave wonder into this world.

我以前會夢到看著我的子宮 將奇蹟帶到世界上。

See, I knew I was young.

我知道我當時還年輕。

But I figured,

但我認為，

it couldn't hurt to start planning for something so big, so early.

這麼重大的事情，現在 早點開始規劃也沒有害處。

But now,

但現在，

I'm 26 years old.

我 26 歲了。

And I don't know if I have what it takes to stomach motherhood in this country.

我不知道自己是否有足夠本事 承受在這個國家中當一名母親。

See, over the years, America has taught me more about parenting

關於教養小孩， 這些年來美國所教我的，

than any book on the subject.

遠多於這方面的書籍。

It has taught me how some women give birth to babies

美國教了我， 有些女人生的是寶寶，

and others to suspects.

其他女人生的則是嫌疑犯。

It has taught me that this body will birth kin

美國教了我， 這樣的身體所生出的親人

who are more likely to be held in prison cells

比較有可能被關進監獄，

than to hold college degrees.

而非取得大學學位。

There is something about being Black in America

身為在美國的黑人，有一項特點，

that has made motherhood seem

會讓擔任母親這件事

complicated.

看上去很複雜。

Seem like,

就像是，

I don't know what to do to raise my kids right

我不知道如何才能 正確地撫養我的孩子，

and keep them alive.

讓他們活下去。

Do I tell my son not to steal because it is wrong,

我要教導兒子不可偷竊 是因為它錯誤的？

or because they will use it to justify his death?

或因為別人可以 用偷竊之名來殺害他？

Do I tell him

我該告訴他

that even if he pays for his Skittles and sweet tea

即使他買彩虹糖和甜茶時有付錢，

there will still be those who will watch him

還是會有人緊盯著他，

and see a criminal before child;

把他當罪犯而非小孩；

who will call the police and not wait for them to come.

會叫警察，但不會等警察到來？

Do I even want the police to come?

我真的會希望警察來嗎？

Too many Sean Bells go off in my head when I consider calling 911.

我考慮要不要報警時， 滿腦子都是貝爾槍擊案的事。

I will not take it for Oscar Grant-ed that they will not come and kill my son.

我不會認定他們一定不會像殺了 奧斯卡葛蘭特一樣殺了我兒子。

So, we may have gotten rid of the nooses,

我們身上可能已經沒有了枷鎖，

but I still consider it lynching when they murder Black boys

但我仍認為他們在動私刑，

謀殺了黑人男孩， 並將遺體曝在太陽下四小時。

and leave their bodies for four hours in the sun.

As a historical reminder

這是在提醒我們不要忘記歷史，

that there is something about being Black in America

在美國身為黑人，有一項特點，

that has made motherhood sound

會讓擔任母親這件事，

like mourning.

聽起來就像服喪。

Sound like one morning I could wake up

聽起來就像某天早晨我醒來，

and see my son as a repeat of last week's story.

看到上星期故事 再次發生在我兒子身上。

Sound like I could wake up and realize

聽起來就像是我可能起床醒來

the death of my daughter wouldn't even be newsworthy.

就發現我女兒的死 甚至沒有新聞價值。

So you can't tell me that Sandra Bland is the only Black woman

所以你不能告訴我， 受到暴力對待的黑人女性當中

whose violence deserves more than our silence.

只有珊卓布蘭達 應該讓我們打破沉默。

What about our other dark-skinned daughters in distress

那麼其他在痛苦中死去， 卻還沒被我們記得的

whose deaths we have yet to remember?

深色皮膚女兒們又該怎麼辦？

What about our children

那麼，那些人生不能完全符合

whose lives don't fit neatly between the lives of your genders?

大眾兩性標準的那些孩子 又該怎麼辦？

See, apparently, nothing is a great protector

很顯然，如果你是從 像這樣的身體生出來的，

if you come out of a body that looks like this.

你就無法得到很好的保護。

See, there is something about being Black in America

身為在美國的黑人，有一項特點，

that has made motherhood sound

會讓擔任母親這件事，聽起來

like something I'm not sure I look forward to.

像是我無法肯定 我會期待的一件事。

I've written too many poems about dead Black children to be naïve

我已經寫過太多首詩， 談到死去的黑人小孩有多天真，

about the fact that there could one day be a poem written about my kids.

談到有天可能會有一首詩 內容是在描寫我的小孩。

But I do not want to be a mother who gave birth to poems.

但我不想當一個生出 「詩」的母親。

I do not want a stanza for a son

我不想要有關於 一個兒子的一節詩，

nor a line for a little girl

或關於一個小女孩的一行句子，

nor a footnote for a child who doesn't fit into this world.

或關於一個無法融入 這世界的孩子的一段註腳。

No.

不要。

I do not want children who will live forever

我不希望孩子會永遠活在

in the pages of poetry,

詩集的頁面中，

yet can't seem to outlive

真正活在世界上的時間

me.

卻沒有比我長。

(Applause)

（掌聲）

I was invited to the TEDWomen conference

我受邀來 TEDWomen 大會，

to perform a poem.

是要來表演一首詩。

But for me, poetry is not about art and performance.

但對我來說，詩的重點 不是藝術和表演。

It is a form of protest.

它是一種抗議的形式。

Yesterday,

昨天，

during rehearsal,

彩排的時候，

I was told that there had been

有人告訴我最近有

two to three recent TED Talks about Black Lives Matter.

兩、三場 TED 近期演說的主題 和「黑人命也是命」運動有關。

That maybe I should cut down my TED Talk

說也許我可以刪減 一些我的演說內容，

so it could "just" be about Reproductive Justice.

讓演說變成「正好」 與生殖正義有關就好。

But that poem and this talk

但那首詩和這場演說

is fundamentally about my inability to separate the two.

在根本上談的就是我無法 將這兩者區分開來。

I was 21 years old --

我 21 歲時——

(Applause)

（掌聲）

I was 21 years old when Trayvon Martin was murdered.

我 21 歲時，發生了 特雷文馬丁謀殺案。

Trayvon Martin, a 17-year-old Black boy,

特雷文馬丁是個 17 歲的黑人男孩，

a Black child,

一個黑人小孩，

reminded me

他提醒了我，

reminded us

提醒了我們，

how little this nation actually values Black life.

這個國家實際上有多麼 不珍視黑人的生命。

The hashtag #BlackLivesMatter

「# 黑人命也是命」這個標籤

became the most recognized call

成了最廣為人知的呼籲，

for Black people and our children

希望黑人和我們的小孩

to live in safe environments and healthy communities

能在安全的環境 和健康的社區中生活，

without fear

不必畏懼

from violence from individuals or the state or government.

來自個人、國家，或政府的暴力。

Months later,

幾個月後，

when George Zimmerman was not held responsible

喬治季莫曼不用為

for murdering Trayvon Martin,

謀殺馬丁負責時，

I heard Sybrina Fulton,

我聽到賽布琳娜佛爾頓，

Trayvon Martin's mother, speak.

即馬丁的母親，所說的話。

Her testimony so deeply impacted me

她的證詞深深地衝擊了我，

that I found myself constantly asking,

造成我自己時常在問，

what would it mean to mother in the United Stated of America

在美國，母親擁有這種膚色，

in this skin?

代表什麼意義？

What does motherhood really mean,

母親身分真正的意義是什麼？

when for so many who look like me

因為對於許多外表像我這樣的人，

it is synonymous with mourning?

母親身分就等同服喪。

Without realizing it,

不知不覺間，

I had begun to link the Reproductive Justice framework

我就開始將生殖正義的架構

and the Movement for Black Lives.

與「黑人命也是命」運動連結起來。

As I learned more about Reproductive Justice

隨著我在 Women With A Vision

at Women With A Vision,

對於生殖正義有更多了解，

and as I continued to be active in the Movement for Black Lives,

並隨著我持續進行 黑人命也是命相關活動，

I found myself wanting others to see and feel these similarities.

我越發現我自己希望他人 能看見並感受到這些相似之處。

I found myself asking:

我發現自己在問：

Whose job is it in times like this

在這樣的時刻，該由誰將想法、

to connect ideas realities and people?

現實，與人連結在一起？

I want to dedicate this talk and that poem

我想將這場演講和那首詩

to Constance Malcolm.

獻給康絲坦斯馬爾康。

She is the mother of Ramarley Graham

她是拉馬利格拉漢的母親，

who was another Black child

格拉漢是另一位命還不該絕

who was murdered before their time.

卻被殺害的黑人孩童。

She reminded me once over dinner,

她讓我想起，有次晚餐時，

as I was struggling to write that poem,

我絞盡腦汁在寫那首詩，

that it is the artist's job

藝術家的工作

to unearth stories that people try to bury

就是要發掘故事， 即使人們試圖用

with shovels of complacency and time.

自滿與時間的鏟子來埋藏它們。

Recently,

最近，

Toni Morrison wrote,

托妮莫里森寫道：

"In times of dread,

「在懼怕的時代，

artists must never choose to remain silent.

藝術家永遠不能選擇保持沈默。

There is no time for self-pity,

沒有自憐的時間，

no room for fear."

沒有恐懼的空間。」

Yesterday, during rehearsal,

昨天，在彩排的時候，

when I was told that I should

當有人告訴我說我應該

"maybe cut the Black Lives Matter portion from my talk,"

「也許刪減一些我的演說中 關於黑人命也是命的內容」，

I found myself fearful for a moment.

我發現自己在那一瞬間感到害怕。

Fearful that again our stories were being denied

害怕我們的故事會再次被拒絕，

the very stages they deserve to be told on.

在應該要講述這些故事的 舞台上被拒絕。

And then I remembered the words I had just spoken.

接著，我記起了我剛說的話。

"In times of dread,

「在懼怕的時代，

artists must never choose to remain silent.

藝術家永遠不能選擇保持沈默。

There is no time for self-pity.

沒有自憐的時間。」

(Applause)

（掌聲）

There is no time for self-pity.

「沒有自憐的時間。

And no room for fear."

沒有恐懼的空間。」

And I have made my choice.

而我已經做出了我的選擇。

And I am always choosing.

我一直在選擇。

Thank you.

謝謝。

(Applause)