Bruce Feiler: The council of dads

翻译人员: Lili Liang 校对人员: Jenny Yang

My story actually began when I was four years old

我的故事是从我四岁的时候开始的

and my family moved to a new neighborhood

当时我家搬到了一个新的街区

in our hometown of Savannah, Georgia.

位于我的家乡乔治亚州萨凡纳

And this was the 1960s

那时是二十世纪六十年代

when actually all the streets in this neighborhood

这里所有的街道

were named after Confederate war generals.

都以南部联盟将军的名字命名

We lived on Robert E. Lee Boulevard.

我们住在罗伯特E.李大道

And when I was five,

当时我五岁

my parents gave me an orange Schwinn Sting-Ray bicycle.

我父母给我买了一辆橘红色的施文牌鳐鱼型自行车

It had a swooping banana seat and those ape hanger handlebars

它装有俯冲式香蕉坐垫以及猿臂把手

that made the rider look like an orangutan.

人骑上去，看起来像只红猩猩

That's why they were called ape hangers.

那猿臂把手果然名副其实

They were actually modeled on hotrod motorcycles of the 1960s,

这种自行车实际上是根据二十世纪六十年代风行的太子车所设计的

which I'm sure my mom didn't know.

我敢肯定我妈妈没听说过

And one day I was exploring this cul-de-sac

有一天，我跑到几条街以外的

hidden away a few streets away.

一条隐蔽的小胡同里探险

And I came back,

我回来的时候

and I wanted to turn around and get back to that street more quickly,

我想掉个头，抄个捷径回到那条街上

so I decided to turn around in this big street

于是我决定在这条大街上掉头

that intersected our neighborhood,

从这里插回我的街区

and wham! I was hit by a passing sedan.

结果“砰”的一声！我被驶过的一辆小轿车撞了

My mangled body flew in one direction,

我变了形的身体朝一个方向飞了出去

my mangled bike flew in the other.

而我变了形的自行车向反方向飞去。

And I lay on the pavement stretching over that yellow line,

我横躺在延伸到黄线的人行道上

and one of my neighbors came running over.

一位邻居看到冲了过来

"Andy, Andy, how are you doing?" she said, using the name of my older brother.

“安迪，安迪，你怎么样啦？”她喊着我哥哥的名字问我

(Laughter)

（众人笑）

"I'm Bruce," I said, and promptly passed out.

“我是布鲁斯，”我说，接着就晕过去了

I broke my left femur that day --

那天我的左边股骨骨折--

it's the largest bone in your body --

这是人全身最粗壮的骨头--

and spent the next two months in a body cast

连续两个月，我的身体都被石膏裹着

that went from my chin to the tip of my toe

从下巴一直到脚趾

to my right knee,

到右腿膝盖

and a steel bar went from my right knee

右腿膝盖到左脚脚踝

to my left ankle.

被接上了一根钢棒

And for the next 38 years,

在接下来的38年里

that accident was the only medically interesting thing

那次意外是我的病历上

that ever happened to me.

唯一一件有医学价值的记录

In fact, I made a living by walking.

其实，我的双腿就是我的生命

I traveled around the world, entered different cultures,

我周游世界，感受不同文化

wrote a series of books about my travels,

并把我的旅途写成了一系列书

including "Walking the Bible."

其中包括《圣地踪迹》

I hosted a television show by that name

我主持了PBS台的一个电视节目

on PBS.

节目与这本书同名

I was, for all the world, the "walking guy."

在世人眼中，我就是那个徒步旅行家

Until, in May 2008,

直到2008年五月

a routine visit to my doctor

一次例行的体检

and a routine blood test

一次常规血液检测

produced evidence in the form of an alkaline phosphatase number

查出我的碱性磷酸酶值偏高

that something might be wrong with my bones.

这表示我的骨头可能出了问题

And my doctor, on a whim, sent me to get a full-body bone scan,

我的医生随即决定送我去做全身骨骼检查

which showed that there was some growth in my left leg.

结果发现我左腿里长了一些东西

That sent me to an X-ray, then to an MRI.

接着我去照X光，又去做了核磁共振成像检查

And one afternoon, I got a call from my doctor.

一天下午，我接到了医生的电话

"The tumor in your leg

“你腿里长的肿瘤

is not consistent with a benign tumor."

是恶性的。”

I stopped walking,

我停下了脚步

and it took my mind a second to convert that double negative

我的脑子用了一秒钟把那个双重否定句

into a much more horrifying negative.

转换成一个更另人心寒的肯定句

I have cancer.

我患了癌症

And to think that the tumor was in the same bone,

这个肿瘤的位置

in the same place in my body

就是我三十八年前

as the accident 38 years earlier --

意外受伤的部位

it seemed like too much of a coincidence.

这真是太巧了

So that afternoon, I went back to my house,

于是，当天下午，我回到家

and my three year-old identical twin daughters, Eden and Tybee Feiler,

我三岁的同卵双胞胎女儿，伊登和泰比. 菲勒

came running to meet me.

跑过来迎接我

They'd just turned three,

她们刚满三岁

and they were into all things pink and purple.

喜欢粉红色和紫色的东西

In fact, we called them Pinkalicious and Purplicious --

我们叫她们“粉红宝宝”和“紫色宝宝”--

although I must say, our favorite nickname

尽管，我们最喜欢的昵称

occurred on their birthday, April 15th.

是在她们4月15日出生的那天起的

When they were born at 6:14 and 6:46

她们出生的时间分别是6：14和6：46

on April 15, 2005,

2005年4月15日

our otherwise grim, humorless doctor looked at his watch,

我们那位看似面无表情，不苟言笑的接生医生看了看他的表

and was like, "Hmm, April 15th -- tax day.

说：“恩，4月15日--纳税日。

Early filer and late filer."

早纳税人和晚纳税人。”

(Laughter)

（众人笑）

The next day I came to see him. I was like, "Doctor, that was a really good joke."

第二天我去见他，我说：“医生，那个笑话真不错。”

And he was like, "You're the writer, kid."

他回答说：“孩子，你可是个作家啊。”

Anyway -- so they had just turned three,

先不说这个--现在她们刚满三岁

and they came and they were doing this dance they had just made up

她们一边跳着自己刚编好的舞一边跑过来

where they were twirling faster and faster until they tumbled to the ground,

一圈一圈越转越快，直到最后倒在地上

laughing with all the glee in the world.

笑得春光灿烂

I crumbled.

我崩溃了

I kept imagining all the walks I might not take with them,

我不禁想到，我可能再也无法跟她们一同散步

the art projects I might not mess up,

陪她们做手工作业

the boyfriends I might not scowl at,

挑剔她们未来的男友

the aisles I might not walk down.

陪她们走上婚礼的殿堂

Would they wonder who I was, I thought.

她们是否会好奇我是谁

Would they yearn for my approval,

她们是否会征求我的许可

my love, my voice?

渴望得到我的爱，听到我的声音

A few days later, I woke with an idea

几天之后，我醒来后想到

of how I might give them that voice.

我以后该怎么让她们听到我的声音

I would reach out to six men

我会向我生命中

from all parts of my life

最重要的六个人求助

and ask them to be present

请他们出现在

in the passages of my daughters' lives.

我女儿们成长的各个阶段

"I believe my girls will have plenty of opportunities in their lives,"

“我相信我女儿们的生活中会充满各种机遇。”

I wrote these men.

我向这些人写到

"They'll have loving families and welcoming homes,

“她们会拥有美满的家庭和温暖的家，

but they may not have me.

但是我有可能不在她们身旁。

They may not have their dad.

她们的爸爸也许不能陪伴她们。

Will you help be their dad?"

你能帮忙做她们的爸爸吗？”

And I said to myself

我对自己说

I would call this group of men "the Council of Dads."

我会把这些人称为“爸爸军团”。

Now as soon as I had this idea,

我一想到这个主意，

I decided I wouldn't tell my wife. Okay.

就决定不告诉我妻子

She's a very upbeat,

她是个非常乐观

naturally excited person.

活泼开朗的人

There's this idea in this culture -- I don't have to tell you --

我们的文化中有这样一个思维--我没必要告诉你--

that you sort of "happy" your way through a problem.

你可以乐观地对待困难

We should focus on the positive.

我们要乐观地对待一切

My wife, as I said, she grew up outside of Boston.

我妻子在波士顿的郊外长大

She's got a big smile. She's got a big personality.

她的笑总是很灿烂，她的心怀非常宽广

She's got big hair --

留着一头蓬松的头发

although, she told me recently, I can't say she has big hair,

尽管她最近告诉我，说我不能再说她的头发蓬松

because if I say she has big hair,

因为如果我这么说

people will think she's from Texas.

人们会以为她是从德州来的。

And it's apparently okay to marry a boy from Georgia,

很显然，她不介意嫁个一个乔治亚州来的小伙子，

but not to have hair from Texas.

但绝不能容忍长着德州人的头发。

And actually, in her defense, if she were here right now,

事实上，为她说句公道话，如果她今天在这里，

she would point out that, when we got married in Georgia,

她会指出，当我们在乔治亚州结婚时，

there were three questions

结婚证上

on the marriage certificate license,

因着三个问题，

the third of which was, "Are you related?"

第三个问题就是：“你们是否有血缘关系？”

(Laughter)

（众人笑）

I said, "Look, in Georgia at least we want to know.

我说：“看啊，在乔治亚州，至少我们还问一句，

In Arkansas they don't even ask."

而在阿肯萨州，人们连问都不问。”

What I didn't tell her is, if she said, "Yes," you could jump.

我没告诉她，如果她回答“有”，那就皆大欢喜了，

You don't need the 30-day waiting period.

这就免了那三十天的等待期。

Because you don't need the get-to-know-you session at that point.

因为你可以跳过相互认识的阶段。

So I wasn't going to tell her about this idea,

我没打算把这个主意告诉她，

but the next day I couldn't control myself, I told her.

但是第二天，我实在忍不住，就告诉了她，

And she loved the idea,

她很赞成这个主意，

but she quickly started rejecting my nominees.

但是，她很快就开始挑剔我的候选人，

She was like, "Well, I love him, but I would never ask him for advice."

她说：“我挺喜欢他，但是我可不会向他征求建议。”

So it turned out that starting a council of dads

结果，挑选“爸爸军团”成员的过程

was a very efficient way to find out

是探查我妻子对我朋友所持看法的

what my wife really thought of my friends.

有效途径。

(Laughter)

（众人笑）

So we decided that we needed a set of rules,

于是我们决定制定一系列规则，

and we came up with a number.

我们定了好几条。

And the first one was no family, only friends.

第一条是，非家庭成员，只能是朋友。

We thought our family would already be there.

我们认为，我们的家人总是会出手相助的。

Second, men only.

第二，仅限男性。

We were trying to fill the dad-space in the girls' lives.

我们要尽力让父爱充满女儿的生活。

And then third, sort of a dad for every side.

第三，从不同方面做为爸爸。

We kind of went through my personality

我们分析了我个性的方方面面，

and tried to get a dad who represented each different thing.

并且找一个能代表我某一面个性的爸爸。

So what happened was I wrote a letter to each of these men.

接着，我给每一个都写了一封信。

And rather than send it,

我并没有把信寄给他们，

I decided to read it to them in person.

而是决定把信当面念给他们听。

Linda, my wife, joked that it was like having six different marriage proposals.

我妻子，琳达，开玩笑说这好像是给在做六段不同的求婚书。

I sort of friend-married each of these guys.

我或多或少地跟这几位男性朋友缔结了婚姻关系。

And the first of these guys was Jeff Schumlin.

这几位男士中的第一位是杰夫. 沙姆林。

Now Jeff led this trip I took to Europe

杰夫是我去欧洲旅行时的领队，

when I graduated from high school in the early 1980s.

当时是二十世纪八十年代初，我刚刚高中毕业。

And on that first day we were in this youth hostel in a castle.

到那的第一天，我们住在一家建于一座城堡里的青年旅舍里。

And I snuck out behind,

我偷偷溜了出去。

and there was a moat, a fence and a field of cows.

那里有一条护城河，一道围墙和一片牧场。

And Jeff came up beside me and said,

杰夫走到我身边说：

"So, have you ever been cow tipping?"

“你让牛翻过跟斗吗？”

I was like, "Cow tipping?

我纳闷：“牛翻跟斗？”

He was like, "Yeah. Cows sleep standing up.

他说：“对啊，牛都是站着睡觉的，

So if you approach them from behind, down wind,

如果你从它们身后顺风靠近它们，

you can push them over and they go thud in the mud."

你就能把它们翻倒在泥里。”

So before I had a chance to determine whether this was right or not,

我还没来得及想清楚这么做合不合适，

we had jumped the moat, we had climbed the fence,

我们就跳下护城河，翻过了围墙，

we were tiptoeing through the dung

我们踮起脚尖，躲开牛粪，

and approaching some poor, dozing cow.

靠近一只正打瞌睡的倒霉牛。

So a few weeks after my diagnosis,

于是，在我被确诊之后，

we went up to Vermont,

我们去了佛蒙特，

and I decided to put Jeff as the first person in the Council of Dads.

我决定让杰夫做“爸爸军团”的第一位成员。

And we went to this apple orchard, and I read him this letter.

我们去到一个苹果园，我给他念了这封信。

"Will you help be their dad?"

“你们帮忙做她们的爸爸吗？”

And I got to the end -- he was crying and I was crying --

我读到最后--他哭了，我也哭了--

and then he looked at me, and he said, "Yes."

接着他看着我，说：“好的。”

I was like, "Yes?"

我说：“真的？”

I kind of had forgotten there was a question at the heart of my letter.

我差点忘了，信的主旨包含了一个问题。

And frankly, although I keep getting asked this,

很显然，即使我不停问这个问题，

it never occurred to me that anybody would turn me down

我从没想过，在这样的情况下，

under the circumstances.

有人会拒绝我的请求。

And then I asked him a question, which I ended up asking to all the dads

接着我问了他一个问题，我问了其他爸爸同样的问题，

and ended up really encouraging me to write this story down in a book.

最后我深受鼓舞，并把这个故事写进书里。

And that was, "What's the one piece of advice

这问题是：“你会给我的女儿们

you would give to my girls?"

什么样的忠告？”

And Jeff's advice was,

杰夫的道理是：

"Be a traveller, not a tourist.

“做个旅行家，而不做游客。

Get off the bus. Seek out what's different.

从观光巴士上下来，找出两者间的不同之处。

Approach the cow."

和那头牛亲密接触。”

"So it's 10 years from now," I said,

“那么十年以后，” 我说，

"and my daughters are about to take their first trip abroad, and I'm not here.

“我的女儿们第一次出国旅行，而我不在了，

What would you tell them?"

你会给她们什么忠告？”

He said, "I would approach this journey

他说：“我会像小孩子走近水洼那样

as a young child might approach a mud puddle.

踏上这段路程，

You can bend over and look at your reflection in the mirror

你可以弯下腰看看自己的倒影，

and maybe run your finger and make a small ripple,

或者用手指点出一圈微笑的涟漪，

or you can jump in and thrash around

你可以围着它蹦蹦跳跳，弄得水花四溅，

and see what it feels like, what it smells like."

用手摸一摸，鼻子闻一闻。”

And as he talked he had that glint in his eye

他一边说，眼里一边闪着一丝光亮，

that I first saw back in Holland --

我在荷兰时就曾看见过--

the glint that says, "Let's go cow tipping,"

那丝光亮仿佛在说：“我们去翻牛跟斗吧。”

even though we never did tip the cow,

即使我们后来并未这么做，

even though no one tips the cow,

即使没有人会去推那头奶牛，

even though cows don't sleep standing up.

即使奶牛不是站着睡觉的。

He said, "I want to see you back here girls, at the end of this experience,

他说：“姑娘们，我希望你们玩到浑身是泥以后

covered in mud."

再回来。”

Two weeks after my diagnosis, a biopsy confirmed

被确诊两周之后，我所做的活组织检查证实

I had a seven-inch osteosarcoma

我左腿股骨长了一颗

in my left femur.

长达7英寸的骨肉瘤。

Six hundred Americans a year get an osteosarcoma.

美国每年有六百人身上长有骨肉瘤。

Eighty-five percent are under 21.

百分之八十五的患者是未成年人。

Only a hundred adults a year

每年只有一百个成年人

get one of these diseases.

患上此类疾病。

Twenty years ago, doctors would have cut off my leg and hoped,

20年以前，医生会建议我截肢，

and there was a 15 percent survival rate.

这样还只能指望15%生还的可能。

And then in the 1980's, they determined

到了十九世纪八十年代，医生们认定

that one particular cocktail of chemo could be effective,

特定的混合化疗能够起到治疗的效果。

and within weeks I had started that regimen.

于是，数周之后，我开始了我的疗程。

And since we are in a medical room,

我们在病房里，

I went through four and a half months of chemo.

我接受了四个半月的化疗。

Actually I had Cisplatin, Doxorubicin

实际上，我使用了顺氯氨铂，链霉素

and very high-dose Methotrexate.

以及高剂量的甲氨蝶呤。

And then I had a 15-hour surgery

接着，我接受了一个长达15个小时的手术，

in which my surgeon, Dr. John Healey

纽约市斯隆凯特琳医院的

at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Hospital in New York,

约翰. 希里医生主刀

took out my left femur

取出了我左腿股骨，

and replaced it with titanium.

并用金属钛取而代之。

And if you did see the Sanjay special,

如果你看过Sanjay特辑，

you saw these enormous screws

你就看过这些巨型的钻机，

that they screwed into my pelvis.

他们用这些钻机转进我的股盆。

Then he took my fibula from my calf,

他把我的腓骨从小腿肚里取出，

cut it out and then relocated it to my thigh,

将它切下，然后把它接到我的大腿里，

where it now lives.

它现在就在那里安家了。

And what he actually did was he de-vascularized it from my calf

他将我腓骨与其相连接的血管分离，

and re-vascularized it in my thigh

然后把它和我大腿中的血管相衔接，

and then connected it

接着把它

to the good parts of my knee and my hip.

和我膝盖以及臀部完好的部位连接起来。

And then he took out a third of my quadriceps muscle.

最后他切除了我三分之一的四头肌。

This is a surgery so rare

这是个难度极高的手术，

only two human beings have survived it before me.

在我之前接受手术的人之中只有两人存活。

And my reward for surviving it

我手术成功后的第一个奖励

was to go back for four more months of chemo.

就是回去再进行四个月的化疗。

It was, as we said in my house,

我们在家时曾说，这一年

a lost year.

是迷失的一年。

Because in those opening weeks, we all had nightmares.

因为在开始的那几周里，我们经常做恶梦。

And one night I had a nightmare that I was walking through my house,

一天晚上，我做了个噩梦，梦见我走过自己家房子，

sat at my desk and saw photographs of someone else's children

坐在我的书桌前，看见桌上摆着

sitting on my desk.

别人孩子的照片。

And I remember a particular one night that, when you told that story of --

我记得一天晚上，当人讲起－

I don't know where you are Dr. Nuland --

“Nuland医生，我不知道你在哪里”的故事－

of William Sloane Coffin --

讲起 William Sloane Coffin的故事－

it made me think of it.

激起了我的同感。

Because I was in the hospital after, I think it was my fourth round of chemo

因为我后来进了医院，那是我化疗的第四阶段，

when my numbers went to zero, and I had basically no immune system.

我所有的指数都变为零，我的免疫系统彻底罢工了。

And they put me in an infectious disease ward at the hospital.

他们让我住在医院的一间传染病病房。

And anybody who came to see me had to cover themselves in a mask

所有来探视的人都必须戴口罩，

and cover all of the extraneous parts of their body.

并且不能露出身体任何部位。

And one night I got a call from my mother-in-law

一天晚上我接到我岳母的电话，

that my daughters, at that time three and a half,

她说我的年仅三岁半的女儿们

were missing me and feeling my absence.

因为看不到我而想我了。

And I hung up the phone,

我挂了电话，

and I put my face in my hands,

用手捂住我的脸，

and I screamed this silent scream.

发出了无声的叫喊。

And what you said, Dr. Nuland -- I don't know where you are --

当你说：“Nuland 医生－你在哪里啊”－

made me think of this today.

让我想起了当时的情况。

Because the thought that came to my mind

因为这让我想起了

was that the feeling that I had

当时的我

was like a primal scream.

所发出的那原始的叫喊。

And what was so striking --

那真是痛彻心扉－

and one of the messages I want to leave you here with today --

今天我要和大家分享的几点之一－

is the experience.

就是这次经历：

As I became less and less human --

我越来越不成人样－

and at this moment in my life, I was probably 30 pounds less than I am right now.

我当时的体重比现在轻了十几斤。

Of course, I had no hair and no immune system.

当然啦，我头发都掉光了，免疫系统也瘫痪了。

They were actually putting blood inside my body.

他们当时一直在给我输血。

At that moment I was less and less human,

我越来越不像一个人，

I was also, at the same time,

但同时，我也

maybe the most human I've ever been.

从来没有活得那么有人味。

And what was so striking about that time

最震撼人心的是，

was, instead of repulsing people,

我非但没有令别人疏远我，

I was actually proving to be a magnet for people.

反而跟他们更加亲近了。

People were incredibly drawn.

人们都神奇地被吸引来了。

When my wife and I had kids, we thought it would be all-hands-on-deck.

当我和我妻子有了孩子，我们以为大家都会围在我们身边，

Instead, it was everybody running the other way.

结果，压根没有人来。

And when I had cancer, we thought it'd be everybody running the other way.

而当我得了癌症，我们以为人们都会离我而去，

Instead, it was all-hands-on-deck.

结果，大家都围过来了。

And when people came to me,

当他们来看我，

rather than being incredibly turned off by what they saw --

他们并没有被我都样子吓倒－

I was like a living ghost --

我就跟一个鬼似的－

they were incredibly moved

我没想到他们都被打动了，

to talk about what was going on in their own lives.

自愿告诉我他们的生活近况。

Cancer, I found, is a passport to intimacy.

癌症，让我与人更加亲近。

It is an invitation, maybe even a mandate,

它像一张请柬，或一个命令，

to enter the most vital arenas of human life,

让我进入人生中最重要，

the most sensitive and the most frightening,

最为敏感，最令人不敢触及的领域。

the ones that we never want to go to,

我们总是回避它，

but when we do go there,

但当我们敢于直面它，

we feel incredibly transformed when we do.

我们就脱胎换骨了。

And this also happened to my girls as they began to see,

我的女儿们也有相似的经历，

and, we thought, maybe became an ounce more compassionate.

她们比以前更加有爱心了。

One day, my daughter Tybee,

一天，我女儿泰比，

Tybee came to me, and she said, "I have so much love for you in my body, daddy,

来到我跟前，对我说：“爸爸，我身体里装满了对你的爱，

I can't stop giving you hugs and kisses.

我要不停地抱你亲你，

And when I have no more love left, I just drink milk,

我的爱用完了，我就喝牛奶，

because that's where love comes from."

因为爱从牛奶里来。”

(Laughter)

（众人笑）

And one night my daughter Eden came to me.

一天晚上，我女儿伊登靠了过来。

And as I lifted my leg out of bed,

我把腿抬下床，

she reached for my crutches and handed them to me.

她便把我的拐杖递给我。

In fact, if I cling to one memory of this year,

实际上，如果问我，这一年里，印象最深的记忆是什么，

it would be walking down a darkened hallway

那便是用我浮肿的手指

with five spongy fingers

紧紧撑着拐杖

grasping the handle underneath my hand.

走下漆黑的走廊。

I didn't need the crutch anymore,

我再也不需要那根拐杖了，

I was walking on air.

我仿佛漫步于云间。

And one of the profound things that happened

其中一间意义重大的事情是，

was this act of actually connecting to all these people.

能够与身边这些人走得更近。

And it made me think -- and I'll just note for the record --

这让我想到－我顺便提一下－

one word that I've only heard once actually

一个我只听过一次的词

was when we were all doing Tony Robbins yoga yesterday --

那是昨天我们跟着Tony Robbins做瑜伽的时候－

the one word that has not been mentioned in this seminar actually

这次研讨会没有提到的一个词是

is the word "friend."

朋友。

And yet from everything we've been talking about --

我们谈论了许许多多话题－

compliance, or addiction, or weight loss --

顺从，嗜好，减肥－

we now know that community is important,

我们现在知道社区的重要性，

and yet it's one thing we don't actually bring in.

但是，我们都能够为此尽一份力。

And there was something incredibly profound

与我的朋友促膝长谈，

about sitting down with my closest friends

告诉他们，他们对于我而已有多么重要，

and telling them what they meant to me.

这对我产生了深远的影响。

And one of the things that I learned is that over time,

我懂得了：时间一长，

particularly men, who used to be non-communicative,

那些过去不善言辞的人，

are becoming more and more communicative.

慢慢地越来越会说话。

And that particularly happened -- there was one in my life --

在我生活中，就有个实实在在的例子－

is this Council of Dads

爸爸军团，

that Linda said, what we were talking about,

琳达说：我们所谈论的，

it's like what the moms talk about at school drop-off.

就像妈妈们在送完孩子上学后聊天的话题

And no one captures this modern manhood to me

在我看来，现代好男人的典范

more than David Black.

非David Black莫属了。

Now David is my literary agent.

现在David是我的文稿代理人。

He's about five-foot three and a half on a good day,

天气好的时候，他脚上穿一双牛仔靴，

standing fully upright in cowboy boots.

站直了身高将近一米六五。

And on kind of the manly-male front, he answers the phone --

他接电话的时候，男人味十足－

I can say this I guess because you've done it here --

我想我可以说这句话，因为已经有人说过了－

he answers the phone, "Yo, motherfucker."

他一接电话：“喂，草泥马的。”

He gives boring speeches about obscure bottles of wine,

他会就红酒瓶发表乏味的长篇大论，

and on his 50th birthday he bought a convertible sports car --

他还说他五十岁大寿时要买一辆敞篷跑车。

although, like a lot of men, he's impatient; he bought it on his 49th.

尽管，他和大多数男人一样没什么耐性；他四十九岁的时候就忍不住买了这辆车。

But like a lot of modern men, he hugs, he bakes,

但是，和许多现代男人一样，他会给人拥抱，会做糕点，

he leaves work early to coach Little League.

会提早下班去做青少年棒球联盟的教练。

Someone asked me if he cried when I asked him to be in the council of dads.

有人问我，我请他加入爸爸军团时，他有没有哭。

I was like, "David cries when you invite him to take a walk."

我说：“David只有当你请他去散步的时候才会哭。”

(Laughter)

（众人笑）

But he's a literary agent,

他是一个文稿代理人，

which means he's a broker of dreams in a world where most dreams don't come true.

这意味着，他在一个人们往往不会美梦成真的世界里，扮演着梦想的经纪人。

And this is what we wanted him to capture --

这就是我们想让他展示的，

what it means to have setbacks and then aspirations.

虽有缺点，但是之后充满热情。

And I said, "What's the most valuable thing you can give to a dreamer?"

我说：“你对一个追梦人最有价值的忠告是什么？”

And he said, "A belief in themselves."

他是：“他们对自己的信念。”

"But when I came to see you," I said, "I didn't believe in myself.

“但是当我来看你的时候，” 我说，“我并不相信自己。

I was at a wall."

我感觉很骑墙。”

He said, "I don't see the wall," and I'm telling you the same,

他说：“我看不见那道墙，” 我也要告诉你们：

Don't see the wall.

别理会那道墙。

You may encounter one from time to time,

你可能会不停地碰壁，

but you've got to find a way to get over it, around it, or through it.

但是你必须找到绕过去，躲过去，穿过去的方法。

But whatever you do, don't succumb to it.

不论你做什么，不要屈服，

Don't give in to the wall.

不要被那道墙打倒。

My home is not far from the Brooklyn Bridge,

我家就离布鲁克林大桥不远，

and during the year and a half I was on crutches,

我一年半的时间里一直拄拐，

it became a sort of symbol to me.

它都成了我的一个标志。

So one day near the end of my journey,

一天，我回到家，

I said, "Come on girls, let's take a walk across the Brooklyn Bridge."

我说：“来吧，姑娘们，我们到布鲁克林大桥上散步去。”

We set out on crutches.

我们带上拐杖出门了。

I was on crutches, my wife was next to me,

我拄着拐，我妻子走在我身边，

my girls were doing these rockstar poses up ahead.

我女儿们在前面，一边走一边摆出摇滚明星的架势。

And because walking was one of the first things I lost,

因为我失去了行走的能力，

I spent most of that year

那一年我把大部分时间都花在了

thinking about this most elemental of human acts.

对这件最基本人类活动的思考上。

Walking upright, we are told,

我们知道，直立行走

is the threshold of what made us human.

标志着我们是人类。

And yet, for the four million years humans have been walking upright,

然而，在四百万年里，人类一直是直立行走，

the act is essentially unchanged.

这项活动没有本质上的变化。

As my physical therapist likes to say,

我的理疗师喜欢这么说：

"Every step is a tragedy waiting to happen."

“一步一悲剧。”

You nearly fall with one leg,

你的一条腿站不住了，

then you catch yourself with the other.

你就用另一条腿支撑自己。

And the biggest consequence of walking on crutches --

使用拐杖行走的最大弊病－

as I did for a year and a half --

我拄拐一年半－

is that you walk slower.

就是行走缓慢。

You hurry,

如果你走得太快，

you get where you're going, but you get there alone.

率先到达目的地，但你到时你只有一个人。

You go slow, you get where you're going,

你慢慢地走，同样可以到达目的地，

but you get there with this community

但是你身边有其他

you built along the way.

与你同行的人为伴。

At the risk of admission, I was never nicer

可能大家不会相信，但是，我拄拐的那一年

than the year I was on crutches.

是我对待他人最友善的一年。

200 years ago,

两百年前，

a new type of pedestrian appeared in Paris.

巴黎出现了一个新的人群。

He was called a "flaneur," one who wanders the arcades.

这些人被称为浪荡子，整天游手好闲。

And it was the custom of those flaneurs

这些浪荡子

to show they were men of leisure

喜欢给乌龟散步，

by taking turtles for walks

跟着这些爬行动物的步调走，

and letting the reptile set the pace.

以此为乐。

And I just love this ode to slow moving.

我很欣赏这种放慢步调的情操。

And it's become my own motto for my girls.

这成了我给女儿们树立的人生信条。

Take a walk with a turtle.

与龟散步。

Behold the world in pause.

让世界稍作停顿。

And this idea of pausing

而这一举停顿，

may be the single biggest lesson I took from my journey.

可能是我在旅程中学到的最为重要的一课。

There's a quote from Moses

在自由钟上

on the side of the Liberty Bell,

刻着一句摩西的名言，

and it comes from a passage in the book of Leviticus,

它出自《圣经》中《利未记》里的一段话，

that every seven years you should let the land lay fallow.

他说，每隔七年，你须要让土地休耕。

And every seven sets of seven years,

每过七七四十九年，

the land gets an extra year of rest

土地又休耕一年，

during which time all families are reunited

此时，所有家庭相聚在一起，

and people surrounded with the ones they love.

人人都与他们所爱的人团聚。

That 50th year is called the jubilee year,

这第五十年被称作“禧年”，

and it's the origin of that term.

这就是这个名称的由来。

And though I'm shy of 50,

尽管我还不想那么快到五十岁，

it captures my own experience.

但这一年是我活得最精彩的一年。

My lost year was my jubilee year.

我失落的那一年是我的禧年。

By laying fallow,

通过休耕，

I planted the seeds for a healthier future

我为更为健康的未来孕育了希望的种子，

and was reunited with the ones I love.

并与我所爱的人们团聚在一起。

Come the one year anniversary of my journey,

康复一年之后，

I went to see my surgeon, Dr. John Healey --

我去探望为我动手术的约翰. 希里医生。

and by the way, Healey, great name for a doctor.

话说回来，“希里”这个名字还挺适合医生的。

He's the president of the International Society of Limb Salvage,

他是国际保肢协会主席。

which is the least euphemistic term I've ever heard.

这是我听过最直白的称谓。

And I said, "Dr. Healey, if my daughters come to you one day

我说：“希里医生，如果某天我女儿们来找你，

and say, 'What should I learn from my daddy's story?'

说：‘我们可以从爸爸的故事里学到什么？’

what would you tell them?"

你会怎么回答？”

He said, "I would tell them what I know,

他说：“我会告诉她们，

and that is everybody dies,

每个人终一死，

but not everybody lives.

但并不是每个人都能活下来。

I want you to live."

我希望你们活下去。”

I wrote a letter to my girls

我给女儿们写了一封信，

that appears at the end of my book, "The Council of Dads,"

这封信被收录在《爸爸军团》的结尾部分。

and I listed these lessons,

我在信中列出了这些道理，

a few of which you've heard here today:

大家今天已经听过了：

Approach the cow, pack your flipflops,

接近奶牛，打包拖鞋，

don't see the wall,

无视墙壁，

live the questions,

勤问问题，

harvest miracles.

收获奇迹。

As I looked at this list -- to me it was sort of like a psalm book of living --

我看着这张单子－感觉它就像一本充满至理名言的《诗篇》（出自《圣经》）－

I realized, we may have done it for our girls,

我意识到，这原本是对我女儿们说的，

but it really changed us.

而它却着实改变了我们。

And that is, the secret of the Council of Dads,

我和我妻子

is that my wife and I did this

组建爸爸军团的初衷

in an attempt to help our daughters,

是为了帮助我们女儿的成长，

but it really changed us.

而这却改变了我们。

So I stand here today

今天我站在这里，

as you see now, walking without crutches or a cane.

你们可以看到，我并没有拄拐。

And last week I had my 18-month scans.

我上周刚做完长达十八周的定期扫描，

And as you all know,

大家知道，

anybody with cancer has to get follow-up scans.

得过癌症都人都要接受复查扫描。

In my case it's quarterly.

我则是每季度做一次。

And all the collective minds in this room, I dare say,

我感说，在座的各位，

can never find a solution for scan-xiety.

没有谁能抑制住扫描时的紧张情绪。

As I was going there, I was wondering, what would I say

去做扫描的路上，我一直在想，

depending on what happened here.

扫描的结果决定我要说的话。

I got good news that day,

那天，我得到了好消息，

and I stand here today cancer-free,

今天，我早已摆脱了癌症，站在这里，

walking without aid

无需拄拐，

and hobbling forward.

走路不会一瘸一拐。

And I just want to mention briefly in passing -- I'm past my time limit --

我只想简短地提一下－我的时间过了－

but I just want to briefly mention in passing

我最后简短地说一下

that one of the nice things that can come out of a conference like this

在这样的会议可以产生很多积极作用，

is, at a similar meeting,

有一个类似的会议，

back in the spring,

发生在春天，

Anne Wojcicki heard about our story

安妮·沃西基（谷歌创始人布林之妻）听了我们的故事，

and very quickly -- in a span of three weeks --

就马上－在短短三周时间里－

put the full resources of 23andMe,

就将23andMe公司的所有资源，

and we announced an initiative in July

我们在七月宣布启动

to get to decode the genome

为每个

of anybody, a living person

长了心脏组织肉瘤的人

with a heart tissue, bone sarcoma.

破译基因组。

And she told me last night, in the three months since we've done it,

她昨晚告诉我，在这三个月里，

we've gotten 300 people who've contributed to this program.

我们这个项目得到了三百个人的帮助。

And the epidemiologists here will tell you,

在场的流行病学家可以证实，

that's half the number of people who get the disease

这相当于美国一年里

in one year in the United States.

患该病人数的一半。

So if you go to 23andMe,

如果你去上23andMe

or if you go to councilofdads.com, you can click on a link.

或councilofdads.com，你可以点击一个链接。

And we encourage anybody to join this effort.

我们鼓励任何人贡献一份力量。

But I'll just close what I've been talking about

但是，在结束前，

by leaving you with this message:

我想告诉大家：

May you find an excuse to reach out to some long-lost pal,

如果有机会，你可以联系一下某个久违的老友，

or to that college roommate,

大学时的室友，

or to some person you may have turned away from.

或是某个你曾拒绝帮助的人。

May you find a mud puddle to jump in someplace,

你也可以找一个泥洼跳进去，

or find a way to get over, around, or through any wall

或是想办法避开，绕过，或者穿越

that stands between you and one of your dreams.

任何一座拦在你与梦想之间的墙壁。

And every now and then,

偶尔，

find a friend, find a turtle,

找个朋友，找只小龟，

and take a long, slow walk.

闲庭信步一番。

Thank you very much.

非常感谢大家。

(Applause)

(众人鼓掌)