Bruce Feiler: The council of dads

譯者: Lynn Chu 審譯者: Shelley Krishna Tsang

My story actually began when I was four years old

我的故事從我四歲時開始

and my family moved to a new neighborhood

我們一家搬到了一個新區

in our hometown of Savannah, Georgia.

我的故居喬治亞州撤番那市

And this was the 1960s

那是1960年

when actually all the streets in this neighborhood

當時這一區的所有街道

were named after Confederate war generals.

全以南方聯邦將領冠名

We lived on Robert E. Lee Boulevard.

我們住在羅扙.E.李大道上

And when I was five,

在我五歲那年

my parents gave me an orange Schwinn Sting-Ray bicycle.

父母給我買了一台橘色的腳踏車

It had a swooping banana seat and those ape hanger handlebars

前傾式的座位及猿猴掛樹式的把手

that made the rider look like an orangutan.

讓騎上去的人看起來活像一隻狒狒

That's why they were called ape hangers.

所以才叫「猿猴掛樹」式

They were actually modeled on hotrod motorcycles of the 1960s,

這設計以當時廣受歡迎的摩托車為範本

which I'm sure my mom didn't know.

我媽肯定不知道這一點

And one day I was exploring this cul-de-sac

有一天我騎著我的腳踏車

hidden away a few streets away.

到一條隱秘的死胡同探險

And I came back,

回家的時侯

and I wanted to turn around and get back to that street more quickly,

我又想抄小路折回去

so I decided to turn around in this big street

我決定從這一絛交接的

that intersected our neighborhood,

大街上拐彎的時候

and wham! I was hit by a passing sedan.

碰! 的一聲，一輛車子撞上了我

My mangled body flew in one direction,

我變形的身子飛往一個方向

my mangled bike flew in the other.

變形的腳踏車飛往另一個方向

And I lay on the pavement stretching over that yellow line,

我就躺在路中的黃線上

and one of my neighbors came running over.

鄰居朝我跑過來

"Andy, Andy, how are you doing?" she said, using the name of my older brother.

「安迪, 安迪, 你還好嗎?」她叫著我哥哥的名字

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

"I'm Bruce," I said, and promptly passed out.

「我是布魯斯。」我說, 然後就昏了過去

I broke my left femur that day --

那天，我折斷了我的左邊的大腿骨

it's the largest bone in your body --

身體裏最大的一跟骨頭

and spent the next two months in a body cast

石膏打了兩個月

that went from my chin to the tip of my toe

從下巴一直到腳趾頭

to my right knee,

到右膝蓋

and a steel bar went from my right knee

一根鋼棒連著我的

to my left ankle.

右膝蓋跟左腳踝

And for the next 38 years,

在往後的38年裏

that accident was the only medically interesting thing

那次意外是我的病歷上

that ever happened to me.

最有趣的一件事。

In fact, I made a living by walking.

然而, 我把走路變為生計

I traveled around the world, entered different cultures,

我環遊世界, 走進不同的文化

wrote a series of books about my travels,

並且把我的旅程寫成書

including "Walking the Bible."

其中包括了「聖經之旅」

I hosted a television show by that name

那部書更被改作同名的電視劇

on PBS.

在PBS播放

I was, for all the world, the "walking guy."

大家都叫我「行者」

Until, in May 2008,

直到2008年5月

a routine visit to my doctor

一次例行的體檢

and a routine blood test

一次例行血液測試

produced evidence in the form of an alkaline phosphatase number

驗出我的鹼性磷酸酶值偏高

that something might be wrong with my bones.

我的骨骼可能出了毛病

And my doctor, on a whim, sent me to get a full-body bone scan,

我的醫生, 一時心血來潮, 叫我去做全身骨骼掃描

which showed that there was some growth in my left leg.

結果發現我的左腿長了有一些東西

That sent me to an X-ray, then to an MRI.

我又去做了Ｘ光和磁振造影

And one afternoon, I got a call from my doctor.

一天下午, 我接到醫生的電話

"The tumor in your leg

「你腿上的腫瘤

is not consistent with a benign tumor."

是非良性的。」

I stopped walking,

我停下了腳步

and it took my mind a second to convert that double negative

又過了好一會

into a much more horrifying negative.

我才突然理解

I have cancer.

非良性腫瘤就是癌

And to think that the tumor was in the same bone,

你想想看, 跟38年前意外的

in the same place in my body

同一條骨頭

as the accident 38 years earlier --

的同一個位置上

it seemed like too much of a coincidence.

我覺得這是不可能的巧合

So that afternoon, I went back to my house,

那天下午, 我回到了家

and my three year-old identical twin daughters, Eden and Tybee Feiler,

我那對三歲的同卵雙胞胎女兒, 依殿和泰必

came running to meet me.

跑上來迎接我

They'd just turned three,

她們剛滿三歲

and they were into all things pink and purple.

喜歡所有粉紅和紫色的東西

In fact, we called them Pinkalicious and Purplicious --

我們暱稱她們為粉紅仙子和紫仙子 --

although I must say, our favorite nickname

可是我最喜歡的暱稱

occurred on their birthday, April 15th.

是在她們生曰的那天，4月15日，得到的。

When they were born at 6:14 and 6:46

她們是在 2005年 4月15曰

on April 15, 2005,

6:14 和 6:46 出生的

our otherwise grim, humorless doctor looked at his watch,

我們的那個嚴肅又沒幽默感的醫生

and was like, "Hmm, April 15th -- tax day.

看了看手表說: 「唔, 4月15,

Early filer and late filer."

納稅的日子, 早繳兒和晚繳兒呀」

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

The next day I came to see him. I was like, "Doctor, that was a really good joke."

第二天我跟他說「醫生, 你的笑話太好笑了.」

And he was like, "You're the writer, kid."

他說「孩子,你才是作家呢！」

Anyway -- so they had just turned three,

所以, 她們剛滿三歲

and they came and they were doing this dance they had just made up

她們跑過來叫我欣賞她們自創的舞蹈

where they were twirling faster and faster until they tumbled to the ground,

她們轉呀轉, 轉到摔在地上

laughing with all the glee in the world.

兩個人笑成一團

I crumbled.

我崩潰了

I kept imagining all the walks I might not take with them,

我一直想像著我無法陪她們走的路

the art projects I might not mess up,

無法弄糟她們的美術作業

the boyfriends I might not scowl at,

無法朝她們的男友直皺眉頭

the aisles I might not walk down.

無法看到她們步入教堂

Would they wonder who I was, I thought.

她們會猜想我是怎麼樣的人嗎？

Would they yearn for my approval,

會不會盼望得到我的認可

my love, my voice?

我的愛, 我的聲音

A few days later, I woke with an idea

數天後, 我想到了一個點子

of how I might give them that voice.

可以讓她們聽到我的聲音

I would reach out to six men

我要從我的生命中

from all parts of my life

挑選出六個男人

and ask them to be present

請他們在我女兒生命中的

in the passages of my daughters' lives.

每個階段陪伴她們

"I believe my girls will have plenty of opportunities in their lives,"

「我相信我的女兒們會有光明的未來」

I wrote these men.

我在給這些男人的信上這樣寫:

"They'll have loving families and welcoming homes,

「她們會有幸福的家庭, 慈愛的家人

but they may not have me.

可是她們可能會失去我

They may not have their dad.

可能會失去她們的爸爸

Will you help be their dad?"

你們願不願意當她們的爸爸？」

And I said to myself

然後我對自己說:

I would call this group of men "the Council of Dads."

我會稱他們為「爸爸顧問團」

Now as soon as I had this idea,

一想到這個點子以後

I decided I wouldn't tell my wife. Okay.

我當下就決定要瞞住我老婆. 為甚麼呢?

She's a very upbeat,

我老婆是一個很開朗

naturally excited person.

很容易興奮的人

There's this idea in this culture -- I don't have to tell you --

大家都知道, 我們的文化裏有這麼個概念

that you sort of "happy" your way through a problem.

就是在困難的面前要保持快樂的精神

We should focus on the positive.

要樂觀的面對一切

My wife, as I said, she grew up outside of Boston.

我老婆在波士頓外長大

She's got a big smile. She's got a big personality.

她有一個大大的笑容, 熱血的心腸

She's got big hair --

還有大大的髮型

although, she told me recently, I can't say she has big hair,

我老婆不準我再說她有大大的髮型

because if I say she has big hair,

因為那樣讓人聽起來

people will think she's from Texas.

就好像她是從德州(南部)來的一樣

And it's apparently okay to marry a boy from Georgia,

原來嫁一個南部來的男孩是可以的

but not to have hair from Texas.

有一個南部的髮型卻萬萬不可

And actually, in her defense, if she were here right now,

不過,說 句公道話,

she would point out that, when we got married in Georgia,

她要是在這兒的話, 她會抗議說,

there were three questions

我們在喬治亞結婚的時侯,

on the marriage certificate license,

結婚證書上, 有三個問題

the third of which was, "Are you related?"

第三個問題是: 你們是否有親戚關係?

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

I said, "Look, in Georgia at least we want to know.

我說:「至少喬治亞有問呀!

In Arkansas they don't even ask."

在阿肯色州,他們連問一下都省了.」

What I didn't tell her is, if she said, "Yes," you could jump.

她不知道的是, 假如她回答「是」,

You don't need the 30-day waiting period.

連30天的等侯期都可以省掉

Because you don't need the get-to-know-you session at that point.

因為已經不需要瞭解期

So I wasn't going to tell her about this idea,

所以我不準備告訴她我今天的點子

but the next day I couldn't control myself, I told her.

但是第二天我就敝不住告訴她了

And she loved the idea,

她非常喜歡我的點子

but she quickly started rejecting my nominees.

可是她馬上否定了我的所有人選

She was like, "Well, I love him, but I would never ask him for advice."

她說: 「我是很喜歡他沒錯, 可是我不會聽取他的建議。」

So it turned out that starting a council of dads

原來成立「爸爸顧問團」

was a very efficient way to find out

可以讓我馬上瞭解到

what my wife really thought of my friends.

我老婆對我朋友的看法

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

So we decided that we needed a set of rules,

我們決定先開出一些條件

and we came up with a number.

我們想到了以下這些:

And the first one was no family, only friends.

第一, 必需是朋友而不是家人

We thought our family would already be there.

因為家人本來就會陪在身邊

Second, men only.

第二, 必需是男性

We were trying to fill the dad-space in the girls' lives.

因為他們要取替的是爸爸的角色

And then third, sort of a dad for every side.

第三, 我們需要各式各樣的父親

We kind of went through my personality

我們稍為分析了我的個性

and tried to get a dad who represented each different thing.

要盡量找一個父親來取替我的每一方面

So what happened was I wrote a letter to each of these men.

然後我給他們每個人寫了一封信

And rather than send it,

我決定不用寄的

I decided to read it to them in person.

而要親自唸給他們聽

Linda, my wife, joked that it was like having six different marriage proposals.

蓮達, 我老婆, 取笑我說這就像求婚六次一樣

I sort of friend-married each of these guys.

我跟他們每一個人都結下一段不解之緣。

And the first of these guys was Jeff Schumlin.

第一個是傑夫. 史密林

Now Jeff led this trip I took to Europe

他是我去歐州旅遊時的嚮導。

when I graduated from high school in the early 1980s.

那是1980代初, 我剛高中畢業

And on that first day we were in this youth hostel in a castle.

在一個城堡的青年旅館裏住下來的頭一晚

And I snuck out behind,

我從後門偷偷溜了出去

and there was a moat, a fence and a field of cows.

外面有一絛護城河, 一面圍牆, 跟一大堆牛

And Jeff came up beside me and said,

傑夫從我的旁邊走上來說:

"So, have you ever been cow tipping?"

「喂! 你有沒有試過推倒過一頭牛? 」

I was like, "Cow tipping?

「推倒一頭牛? 」 我問

He was like, "Yeah. Cows sleep standing up.

他說: 「對呀! 牛是站著睡的

So if you approach them from behind, down wind,

所以你要從後方, 下風處繞過去

you can push them over and they go thud in the mud."

你一推, 牠們就會啪一聲倒到泥巴裏去」

So before I had a chance to determine whether this was right or not,

在我還沒來得及決定這是對還是不對以前

we had jumped the moat, we had climbed the fence,

我們己經跳過護城河, 翻過籬笆

we were tiptoeing through the dung

踮著腳繞過牛糞

and approaching some poor, dozing cow.

來到了一頭可憐的,酣睡中的牛的身邊。

So a few weeks after my diagnosis,

所以在我診斷出來的兩個禮拜後

we went up to Vermont,

我們去了佛蒙特州一趟

and I decided to put Jeff as the first person in the Council of Dads.

去邀請傑夫成為爸爸顧問團的第一名成員。

And we went to this apple orchard, and I read him this letter.

在一個蘋果園裏, 我把信唸讀給了他聽

"Will you help be their dad?"

「你願不願意成為她們的父親? 」

And I got to the end -- he was crying and I was crying --

我唸完以後, 他在哭, 我也在哭

and then he looked at me, and he said, "Yes."

然後, 他看著我, 他說: 「好的。」

I was like, "Yes?"

我反問他: 「好甚麼?」

I kind of had forgotten there was a question at the heart of my letter.

我早就忘了信的主旨就是在提問。

And frankly, although I keep getting asked this,

老實說,我雖然考慮了很多,

it never occurred to me that anybody would turn me down

可是我卻沒有想過

under the circumstances.

會有人在這種情況下拒絕我。

And then I asked him a question, which I ended up asking to all the dads

然後我問了他一個問題，一個我後來問了所有爸爸的問題，

and ended up really encouraging me to write this story down in a book.

而最後它更鼓勵我把這個故事寫進書裡。

And that was, "What's the one piece of advice

那問題是: 「假如你要給我女兒

you would give to my girls?"

一個建議, 你會說甚麼? 」

And Jeff's advice was,

傑夫的建議是:

"Be a traveller, not a tourist.

「當一個旅人，不要當一個遊客。

Get off the bus. Seek out what's different.

走下公車, 找找看不一樣的事物。

Approach the cow."

朝那頭牛走過去。」

"So it's 10 years from now," I said,

我問他: 「假如十年以後

"and my daughters are about to take their first trip abroad, and I'm not here.

我的女兒第一次出國旅遊, 而我己經不在了

What would you tell them?"

你會對她們說甚麼? 」

He said, "I would approach this journey

他說: 「妳們對一趟旅程

as a young child might approach a mud puddle.

應該抱著孩子對泥坑的態度

You can bend over and look at your reflection in the mirror

你可以彎下身來看自己的倒影

and maybe run your finger and make a small ripple,

你可以用你的手指去泛起一陣漣漪

or you can jump in and thrash around

又或者, 你可以縱身跳進去

and see what it feels like, what it smells like."

親自去體會那感受, 那氣味」

And as he talked he had that glint in his eye

說這的時侯他的眼中放著異彩

that I first saw back in Holland --

就好像當年在荷蘭的時侯一樣

the glint that says, "Let's go cow tipping,"

那異彩在說: 「走, 我們推牛去！」

even though we never did tip the cow,

雖然我們並沒有推倒那一頭牛

even though no one tips the cow,

雖然從來沒有人推過倒一頭牛

even though cows don't sleep standing up.

雖然牛根本不是站住睡的

He said, "I want to see you back here girls, at the end of this experience,

他說: 「當妳們旅途回來以後

covered in mud."

我要看到妳們混身泥巴。」

Two weeks after my diagnosis, a biopsy confirmed

我診斷後兩個禮拜, 一個活切

I had a seven-inch osteosarcoma

証實了我的左大腿上有一個

in my left femur.

七吋的骨肉瘤

Six hundred Americans a year get an osteosarcoma.

每一年有600個美國人患上骨肉瘤

Eighty-five percent are under 21.

85% 在 21歲以下

Only a hundred adults a year

每年只有100個成人

get one of these diseases.

患上這個疾病

Twenty years ago, doctors would have cut off my leg and hoped,

二十年前, 醫生會切除我的腿

and there was a 15 percent survival rate.

然後寄望那15% 的生存機會

And then in the 1980's, they determined

但在80年代, 他們決定

that one particular cocktail of chemo could be effective,

一種特定的雞尾酒療法可能有效

and within weeks I had started that regimen.

幾星期內我就開始了療程

And since we are in a medical room,

在醫務室裏

I went through four and a half months of chemo.

我的化療持續了4個半月

Actually I had Cisplatin, Doxorubicin

我用了順鉑 (Cisplatin), 多柔比星 (Doxoubicin)

and very high-dose Methotrexate.

跟大劑量的甲氨蝶呤 (Methotrexate)

And then I had a 15-hour surgery

還熬過了一個15個小時的手術

in which my surgeon, Dr. John Healey

我的外科醫師, 約翰. 喜利醫生

at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Hospital in New York,

在紐約斯隆-凱特林紀念醫院裏

took out my left femur

取出了我的左大腿骨

and replaced it with titanium.

以鈦金屬取代

And if you did see the Sanjay special,

假如你有看桑傑醫生的特集

you saw these enormous screws

你就會看到這些大大的螺絲

that they screwed into my pelvis.

擰進了我的骨盆中

Then he took my fibula from my calf,

然後他從我的小腿肚中

cut it out and then relocated it to my thigh,

取出腓骨

where it now lives.

移放到大腿內

And what he actually did was he de-vascularized it from my calf

這個過程已包括切斷小腿內腓骨上

and re-vascularized it in my thigh

的所有血管, 再在大腿上重新接連

and then connected it

再把腓骨接到

to the good parts of my knee and my hip.

健康的膝蓋跟骨盆上

And then he took out a third of my quadriceps muscle.

然後他把我的股四頭肌切掉 1/3

This is a surgery so rare

這項手術非常罕有

only two human beings have survived it before me.

在我之前只有兩個人成功生存下來

And my reward for surviving it

而我成功的獎勵

was to go back for four more months of chemo.

則是再4個月的化療

It was, as we said in my house,

在我家裏, 我們把這一年

a lost year.

叫作失去的一年

Because in those opening weeks, we all had nightmares.

在剛開始的幾個星期, 每個人都不斷的在做惡夢

And one night I had a nightmare that I was walking through my house,

一天晚上, 我夢到自己在家裏走著

sat at my desk and saw photographs of someone else's children

然後坐到書桌前卻看到別人家小孩的照片

sitting on my desk.

放在我的案頭上

And I remember a particular one night that, when you told that story of --

我又記得一個晚上, 它讓我想到了

I don't know where you are Dr. Nuland --

紐蘭醫生 -- 我不知道你現在在哪 –-

of William Sloane Coffin --

他告訴我關於威廉.科芬

it made me think of it.

的故事的那一個晚上

Because I was in the hospital after, I think it was my fourth round of chemo

因為當我在醫院裏, 經過了4回的化療以後

when my numbers went to zero, and I had basically no immune system.

我幾乎完全沒有免疫力了

And they put me in an infectious disease ward at the hospital.

他們讓我住進隔離病房

And anybody who came to see me had to cover themselves in a mask

所有來看我的人都要戴上口罩

and cover all of the extraneous parts of their body.

把所有外露的肢體遮蓋起來

And one night I got a call from my mother-in-law

一天晚，我岳母來電話說

that my daughters, at that time three and a half,

我當時只有三歲半的女兒

were missing me and feeling my absence.

在想我

And I hung up the phone,

我掛上了電話

and I put my face in my hands,

把頭埋到手裏

and I screamed this silent scream.

發出了無聲的尖叫

And what you said, Dr. Nuland -- I don't know where you are --

然後你說的話, 紐蘭醫生

made me think of this today.

讓我今天想到了這件事

Because the thought that came to my mind

因為我當時的想法

was that the feeling that I had

和當時的感受

was like a primal scream.

就像一聲原始的吶喊

And what was so striking --

最深刻的--

and one of the messages I want to leave you here with today --

也我今天想要對你們表達的 –

is the experience.

是當時的感受

As I became less and less human --

當我越來越不成人形的時候

and at this moment in my life, I was probably 30 pounds less than I am right now.

我的體重要比現在輕了30磅

Of course, I had no hair and no immune system.

我沒有頭髮也沒有免疫力

They were actually putting blood inside my body.

他們甚至要把血輸進我的體內

At that moment I was less and less human,

我感覺自己越來越不像一個人

I was also, at the same time,

同時, 我卻又好像

maybe the most human I've ever been.

比甚麼時侯都更像一個人

And what was so striking about that time

那時侯, 最不可思議的是

was, instead of repulsing people,

別人不但沒有排斥我

I was actually proving to be a magnet for people.

反而好像比平常更喜歡接近我

People were incredibly drawn.

好像蜜蜂見到蜜糖一樣

When my wife and I had kids, we thought it would be all-hands-on-deck.

我們小孩出生的時候, 以為大家會同心協力

Instead, it was everybody running the other way.

結果是一盤散沙

And when I had cancer, we thought it'd be everybody running the other way.

現在我患上癌症, 以為大家會像一盤散沙

Instead, it was all-hands-on-deck.

反而大家都同心協力

And when people came to me,

大家來看我的時侯

rather than being incredibly turned off by what they saw --

不旦沒有被我

I was like a living ghost --

活死人模樣嚇跑

they were incredibly moved

反而被我打動

to talk about what was going on in their own lives.

而向我敞開心屝

Cancer, I found, is a passport to intimacy.

癌症, 我發現, 是通往誠懇的捷徑

It is an invitation, maybe even a mandate,

是一個邀請, 甚至是一個要求

to enter the most vital arenas of human life,

去參與人生最必要

the most sensitive and the most frightening,

也是最可怕的舞台

the ones that we never want to go to,

雖然我們常常會裹足不前

but when we do go there,

可是當我們一旦抵達那裏

we feel incredibly transformed when we do.

我們便會經歷到那前所未有的蛻變

And this also happened to my girls as they began to see,

那正好是我女兒剛開始懂事的時候

and, we thought, maybe became an ounce more compassionate.

我希望她們能學得更有愛心

One day, my daughter Tybee,

一天, 我女兒泰必跑來跟我說:

Tybee came to me, and she said, "I have so much love for you in my body, daddy,

「爸爸, 我是這麼的愛你,

I can't stop giving you hugs and kisses.

想要一直抱你, 親你。

And when I have no more love left, I just drink milk,

假如我把愛都用光了, 我就去喝牛奶

because that's where love comes from."

因為牛奶會補充我的愛。」

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

And one night my daughter Eden came to me.

一天晚上, 我女兒依殿跑來我那

And as I lifted my leg out of bed,

當我把腳抬起來的時侯

she reached for my crutches and handed them to me.

她便把拐杖拿了給我

In fact, if I cling to one memory of this year,

我這一年最珍貴的回憶

it would be walking down a darkened hallway

便是走下一條暗暗的走廊

with five spongy fingers

還有那五支小小的手指

grasping the handle underneath my hand.

跟我一起抓住拐杖

I didn't need the crutch anymore,

我己經不需要拐杖了

I was walking on air.

因為整個人是輕飄飄的

And one of the profound things that happened

其中最深刻的

was this act of actually connecting to all these people.

便是加深了人與人之間的關係

And it made me think -- and I'll just note for the record --

這又讓我想到 -- 讓我強調這一點 --

one word that I've only heard once actually

一個我只聽過一次的詞

was when we were all doing Tony Robbins yoga yesterday --

當我們昨天在做瑜珈的時侯

the one word that has not been mentioned in this seminar actually

一個我今天一直沒有提到的詞

is the word "friend."

-- 友誼

And yet from everything we've been talking about --

可是在所有我們談到的話裡 –

compliance, or addiction, or weight loss --

比方承諾、癖好、或減肥 --

we now know that community is important,

我們現在知道團隊很重要

and yet it's one thing we don't actually bring in.

可我們往往都不曾提到。

And there was something incredibly profound

其中最深刻的

about sitting down with my closest friends

就是跟最親密的好友坐下來

and telling them what they meant to me.

告訴他們他們對我有多重要。

And one of the things that I learned is that over time,

然後我弄明白了一件事情,

particularly men, who used to be non-communicative,

以往男性多半不擅長表達自已

are becoming more and more communicative.

現在也慢慢的開始學會了。

And that particularly happened -- there was one in my life --

其中最好的例子

is this Council of Dads

便是我這個爸爸顧問團

that Linda said, what we were talking about,

我老婆說我們就好像一群女人

it's like what the moms talk about at school drop-off.

送孩子上學的時侯說長道短一樣。

And no one captures this modern manhood to me

而最瞭解這種現代男人的

more than David Black.

便是大衛. 布拉克。

Now David is my literary agent.

現在大衛是我的出版經紀人。

He's about five-foot three and a half on a good day,

他大概有五尺三寸半高

standing fully upright in cowboy boots.

假如他穿牛仔靴又站得直挺挺的話

And on kind of the manly-male front, he answers the phone --

他接電話的時侯

I can say this I guess because you've done it here --

倒是男子氣十足的

he answers the phone, "Yo, motherfucker."

「喂? 那個他媽的王八呀? 」

He gives boring speeches about obscure bottles of wine,

他總喜歡滔滔不絕沉悶的談論沒人聽過的酒

and on his 50th birthday he bought a convertible sports car --

在50歲生曰那天他買了開蓬車

although, like a lot of men, he's impatient; he bought it on his 49th.

跟很多男人一樣, 他很沒耐性, 49歲就買了

But like a lot of modern men, he hugs, he bakes,

可是, 像很多的現代男人, 他會擁抱, 會烘烤

he leaves work early to coach Little League.

會從公司早退去教小孩打球

Someone asked me if he cried when I asked him to be in the council of dads.

有人問我，找他參加爸爸顧問團的時，他哭了沒？

I was like, "David cries when you invite him to take a walk."

我說: 「你找他散步他也會哭！」

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

But he's a literary agent,

可是他是一個出版經紀人,

which means he's a broker of dreams in a world where most dreams don't come true.

是一個在夢想極少成真的世界裡的夢想經紀人

And this is what we wanted him to capture --

這就是他在爸爸顧問團裡的任務

what it means to have setbacks and then aspirations.

怎樣從挫折中重拾抱負。

And I said, "What's the most valuable thing you can give to a dreamer?"

我問他: 「你會給夢想家甚麼樣的建議呢? 」

And he said, "A belief in themselves."

他說: 「要相信自已。」

"But when I came to see you," I said, "I didn't believe in myself.

「可是當我來找你的時侯」, 我說, 「我一點都不相信自已。

I was at a wall."

我四處碰壁。」

He said, "I don't see the wall," and I'm telling you the same,

他跟我說: 「我可沒看見甚麼牆壁。」我今天也要這樣對你們說

Don't see the wall.

不要看到牆壁。

You may encounter one from time to time,

也許你偶然會遇上

but you've got to find a way to get over it, around it, or through it.

那就找一個方法克服它, 繞過去, 穿過去都行

But whatever you do, don't succumb to it.

無論如何

Don't give in to the wall.

就是不要屈服。

My home is not far from the Brooklyn Bridge,

我家離布魯克林橋不遠

and during the year and a half I was on crutches,

在我柱著拐杖的一年半中

it became a sort of symbol to me.

它成了我人生的指標

So one day near the end of my journey,

一天,在我的旅程將近結束時

I said, "Come on girls, let's take a walk across the Brooklyn Bridge."

我對女兒說: 「走, 我們過布魯克林橋去！」

We set out on crutches.

我帶著拐杖出發

I was on crutches, my wife was next to me,

我柱著拐杖, 老婆在一旁

my girls were doing these rockstar poses up ahead.

女兒們走在前頭邊走邊搗笑

And because walking was one of the first things I lost,

因為走路是我最先失去的東西

I spent most of that year

我花了幾乎那一整年

thinking about this most elemental of human acts.

去思考這個人類最基本的動作

Walking upright, we are told,

我們常聽說, 直立走路

is the threshold of what made us human.

是人跟其他動物最大的分別

And yet, for the four million years humans have been walking upright,

可是40萬年來

the act is essentially unchanged.

這姿勢卻從未改變過

As my physical therapist likes to say,

我的物理治療師最愛說:

"Every step is a tragedy waiting to happen."

「一步一驚心。」

You nearly fall with one leg,

一條腿快摔跤了

then you catch yourself with the other.

才用另一條撐住

And the biggest consequence of walking on crutches --

用拐杖走路的結果 –

as I did for a year and a half --

像我整整練了一年半 –

is that you walk slower.

便是走路走慢了。

You hurry,

你匆匆忙忙的走

you get where you're going, but you get there alone.

到目的地的時侯, 你是孤單一人

You go slow, you get where you're going,

你慢慢的走

but you get there with this community

到目的地的時侯, 身邊卻有一大群

you built along the way.

你路上遇到的人。

At the risk of admission, I was never nicer

不瞞你說, 那是我一生中

than the year I was on crutches.

最和藹可親的一年。

200 years ago,

200年前

a new type of pedestrian appeared in Paris.

巴黎出現了一種新的行人

He was called a "flaneur," one who wanders the arcades.

他們叫做漫游者，在有拱廊的街道上漫遊

And it was the custom of those flaneurs

這些漫游者有一種習慣

to show they were men of leisure

為了表明他們是悠閒人士

by taking turtles for walks

他們會帶著烏龜去散步

and letting the reptile set the pace.

然後以烏龜的步速走。

And I just love this ode to slow moving.

然後我愛上了這個慢步之歌

And it's become my own motto for my girls.

它也成為我給女兒的座右銘

Take a walk with a turtle.

帶烏龜去散步

Behold the world in pause.

從靜止中看世界

And this idea of pausing

而這個靜止的觀念

may be the single biggest lesson I took from my journey.

也是我這趟旅程中最大的收穫

There's a quote from Moses

摩西有一句名言：

on the side of the Liberty Bell,

在自由鐘的旁邊

and it comes from a passage in the book of Leviticus,

出自利未記

that every seven years you should let the land lay fallow.

就是每7年要讓大地歇一歇

And every seven sets of seven years,

然後每7個7年

the land gets an extra year of rest

要讓它休息一整年。

during which time all families are reunited

然後家庭要趁這空檔團聚

and people surrounded with the ones they love.

被心愛的人包圍

That 50th year is called the jubilee year,

所以第50年又叫歡樂年

and it's the origin of that term.

這便是它的出處。

And though I'm shy of 50,

雖然我還不倒50歲

it captures my own experience.

但我卻瞭解這點

My lost year was my jubilee year.

我那失去的一年便是我的歡樂年。

By laying fallow,

我的休息

I planted the seeds for a healthier future

會讓我以後更健康

and was reunited with the ones I love.

也讓我加深了跟我親愛的人的關係。

Come the one year anniversary of my journey,

在我旅程的一周年紀念時

I went to see my surgeon, Dr. John Healey --

我去看了我的外科醫生, 約翰喜利醫生

and by the way, Healey, great name for a doctor.

喜利是一個很適合醫生的名字 （Healey中的Heal有康復的意思）

He's the president of the International Society of Limb Salvage,

他也是國際保肢學會的會長

which is the least euphemistic term I've ever heard.

那是我所聽過最婉轉的說法。

And I said, "Dr. Healey, if my daughters come to you one day

我問說: 「喜利醫生, 假如一天我的女兒來問你

and say, 'What should I learn from my daddy's story?'

「我該從我爸的故事中得到甚麼教訓? 」

what would you tell them?"

你會怎樣回答?

He said, "I would tell them what I know,

他說: 「我會照實回答

and that is everybody dies,

每一個人都會死

but not everybody lives.

可是不是每一個人都活過

I want you to live."

我希望妳們能體驗人生。」

I wrote a letter to my girls

我給我女兒寫了一封信

that appears at the end of my book, "The Council of Dads,"

信被登在我「爸爸顧問團」一書的最後

and I listed these lessons,

我把這些教訓都寫下來了

a few of which you've heard here today:

有幾個你們今天也聽到了

Approach the cow, pack your flipflops,

朝那頭牛走去, 帶著你的拖鞋

don't see the wall,

不要看到牆璧

live the questions,

要體驗人生

harvest miracles.

相信奇跡。

As I looked at this list -- to me it was sort of like a psalm book of living --

我列的清單, 就像人生的詩篇

I realized, we may have done it for our girls,

我這才發現, 雖然這是為女兒寫的

but it really changed us.

最後卻改變了我們。

And that is, the secret of the Council of Dads,

這就是爸爸顧問團的秘密

is that my wife and I did this

我跟我老婆一開始

in an attempt to help our daughters,

是為了女兒而做的

but it really changed us.

最後卻改變了我們。

So I stand here today

我今天站在這兒

as you see now, walking without crutches or a cane.

就像你看到的, 不需要再依賴拐杖。

And last week I had my 18-month scans.

上周我做了手術後18個月的掃描

And as you all know,

大家都知道

anybody with cancer has to get follow-up scans.

患了癌症的人都需要做跟進掃描

In my case it's quarterly.

我的是每3個月一次

And all the collective minds in this room, I dare say,

我敢說, 在座所有人的腦汁加在一起

can never find a solution for scan-xiety.

都想不出能讓我不緊張的方法

As I was going there, I was wondering, what would I say

去檢查的途中, 我一直在想,

depending on what happened here.

按照檢查結果而定, 我該說甚麼。

I got good news that day,

那天我收到了好消息

and I stand here today cancer-free,

今天我的身體裏沒有癌細胞

walking without aid

可以不用拐杖走路

and hobbling forward.

步履蹣跚的前進。

And I just want to mention briefly in passing -- I'm past my time limit --

我只想要總括一下 -- 我已經超時 --

but I just want to briefly mention in passing

我只想要總括一下

that one of the nice things that can come out of a conference like this

參加這種聚會的美事之一就是

is, at a similar meeting,

在另一個類似的聚會中，

back in the spring,

在春天的時侯，

Anne Wojcicki heard about our story

安.沃西基聽到了我的故事

and very quickly -- in a span of three weeks --

而非常快的 -- 在短短3周內 --

put the full resources of 23andMe,

動用了「23與我」所有的力量

and we announced an initiative in July

在7月中我們倡議

to get to decode the genome

要拆解

of anybody, a living person

所有患者的

with a heart tissue, bone sarcoma.

骨肉瘤的基因组

And she told me last night, in the three months since we've done it,

她昨天晚上告訴我, 在3個月內

we've gotten 300 people who've contributed to this program.

已經有300個人參與。

And the epidemiologists here will tell you,

流行病學家會告訴你

that's half the number of people who get the disease

那是在美國一年內

in one year in the United States.

所有患上這種疾病的一半人數。

So if you go to 23andMe,

所以你可以去「23與我」 (23andMe)

or if you go to councilofdads.com, you can click on a link.

或去councilofdads.com,點擊一個連結

And we encourage anybody to join this effort.

我們鼓勵所有人來參與。

But I'll just close what I've been talking about

在今天最後

by leaving you with this message:

我要說的是:

May you find an excuse to reach out to some long-lost pal,

希望你們可以找到一個接觸

or to that college roommate,

昔曰好友或大學室友的藉口

or to some person you may have turned away from.

或一個你遠離了的人。

May you find a mud puddle to jump in someplace,

希望你們找到一個可以跳進去的泥坑

or find a way to get over, around, or through any wall

或找到一個可以越過那面

that stands between you and one of your dreams.

堵在你跟你夢想之間的牆的方法。

And every now and then,

偶而

find a friend, find a turtle,

找一個朋友,找一只烏龜

and take a long, slow walk.

長長地、 慢慢地、 散一散步。

Thank you very much.

謝謝你們

(Applause)

(掌聲)