An astronaut's story of curiosity, perspective and change | Leland Melvin

Prevodilac: Dragana Savanovic Lektor: Ivana Krivokuća

[This talk contains mature content]

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In 1969, I was standing behind

Godine 1969. sam stajao

a Sylvania black-and-white television set.

iza crno-belog televizora marke Silvejnija.

Hearing about these things happening on the set in the front,

Slušao sam ono što se dešava na televizoru ispred mene,

I was the guy, you know,

jer bio sam dečko koji pomera antene po nalogu tate, sestre i mame.

moving the rabbit ears for my dad, and my sister and my mom.

"Move over here, turn over here, move this way, we can't see the screen."

„Pomeri ovamo, okreni tamo, pomeri ovako, ne vidimo ekran.“

And what they were watching

A oni su gledali:

was: "One small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind."

„Mali korak za čoveka, ali veliki za čovečanstvo.“

Neil [Armstrong] and Buzz Aldrin were walking on the Moon.

Nil Armstrong i Baz Oldrin su hodali po mesecu.

And I was five years old in Lynchburg, Virginia,

Imao sam pet godina i živeo u Linčburgu, u Virdžiniji,

a skinny black kid in a kind of somewhat racist town.

kao mršav crni klinac u pomalo rasističkom gradu.

And I was trying to figure out what I was going to do with my life.

Pokušavao sam da smislim šta ću da radim sa svojim životom.

And my parents, you know, they were educators,

A moji roditelji, znate, su bili predavači,

they'd said that you can do anything.

i govorili su da možete sve.

But after that moon landing, all the kids in the neighborhood

Nakon tog sletanja na Mesec, sva deca u komšiluku

were like, "You're going to be an astronaut?"

su bila u fazonu: „Postaćeš astronaut?“

I'm like, "No."

A ja bih odgovorio: „Ne.“

I don't want a buzz cut, and I don't see someone who looks like me.

Ne želim vojničku frizuru, i ne vidim nekog ko izgleda kao ja.

Because representation does matter.

Jer izgled jeste važan.

And I knew that there was a guy

Znao sam za tipa

five blocks down the street on Pierce Street

pet blokova niz ulicu, u ulici Pirs,

who was training to play tennis.

koji je trenirao tenis.

And it was Arthur Ashe.

To je bio Artur Eš.

And my dad talked about his character, his discipline,

Moj tata je pričao o njegovoj ličnosti, disciplini,

his intelligence, his athleticism.

inteligenciji, atletizmu.

I wanted to be Arthur Ashe,

Želeo sam da budem Artur Eš.

I didn't want to be one of those moon guys.

Nisam želeo da budem kao oni tipovi sa Meseca.

And as I went on through this journey,

Kroz dalji tok ovog putovanja,

my dad, who was a school teacher, he played in a band,

moj tata, koji je bio nastavnik i svirao je u bendu,

he did all these things to make money for my sister and I

radio je sve te stvari da zaradi kako bismo moja sestra i ja

to take piano lessons

išli na časove klavira i radili razne obrazovne stvari.

and do these different things with education.

And he one day decides to drive up into the driveway with this bread truck.

Jednog dana je odlučio da se doveze pred kuću u pekarskom kamionu.

And I'm thinking, "OK, bread truck,

Pomislio sam: „Okej, pekarski kamion,

me delivering bread while my dad's driving the truck."

dostavljaću hleb, a tata će da vozi.“

I'm like, "OK, I'm going to be a bread guy now."

Pomislio sam: „Okej, biću pekar.“

But he says, "This is our camper."

Ali on mi kaže: „Ovo je naš kamper.“

I'm like, "Dude, come one, I can read: 'Merita Bread and Rolls'

Pomislio sam: „Ma daj, čoveče, piše 'Merita hleb i peciva' sa strane kamiona.“

on the side of this truck.

And he says, "No, we're going to build this into our camper."

A on mi kaže: „Ne, napravićemo od ovoga naš kamper.“

And over that summer, we rewired the entire electrical system.

Tokom tog leta, prespojili smo čitav električni sistem.

We plumbed a propane tank to a Coleman stove,

Spojili smo rezervoar propana sa šporetom marke Kolman,

we built bunk beds that flip down.

napravili smo krevete na sprat koji se obaraju.

We were turning this into our summer vacation launch pad, escape pod,

Pretvarali smo ga u lansirnu rampu, kapsulu za beg,

this thing that could take us out of Lynchburg.

koja nas može odvesti iz Linčburga.

And before that,

A pre toga,

I was actually raped at five by some neighbors.

kada sam imao pet godina, silovale su me neke komšije.

And I didn't tell anyone,

Nisam rekao nikome,

because I had friends that didn't have fathers.

jer sam imao drugare koji nisu imali očeve.

And I knew that my father

A znao sam da bi moj otac ubio ljude

would have killed the people that did that to his son.

koji su to uradili njegovom sinu.

And I didn't want my father to be gone.

I nisam želeo da moj otac ode.

So as we got in this bread truck and escaped from Lynchburg,

Kada smo tim pekarskim kamionom pobegli iz Linčburga,

it was my time with my dad.

mogao sam da provedem vreme sa tatom.

And we went to the Smoky Mountains

Otišli smo na planine Grejt Smouki

and looked at the purple mountains' majesty.

i gledali ljubičastu veličanstvenost planina.

And we walked along the beach in Myrtle Beach,

Šetali smo duž plaže u Mertl Biču,

and this thing was transformative.

i to je bio preobražaj.

It showed me what it meant to be an explorer, at a very early age.

Vrlo rano mi je pokazalo šta znači biti istraživač.

And I suppressed all that negativity,

Potisnuo sam svu tu negativnost,

all that trauma,

svu traumu,

because I was learning to be an explorer.

jer sam učio da budem istraživač.

And a little bit later, my mother gave me an age-inappropriate,

Malo kasnije, majka mi je poklonila, za moje godine neprikladan,

non-OSHA-certified chemistry set,

nesertifikovan pribor za hemiju.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

where I created the most incredible explosion in her living room.

sa kojim sam napravio neverovatnu eksploziju u njenoj dnevnoj sobi.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And so I knew I could be a chemist.

Znao sam da bih mogao biti hemičar.

So as I went on this journey through a high school,

Nastavio sam ovo putovanje kroz srednju školu,

and I went to college,

otišao na fakultet

and I got a football scholarship to play football in college.

i dobio fudbalsku stipendiju.

And I knew that I could be a chemist, because I'd already blown stuff up.

Znao sam da bih mogao biti hemičar, jer sam već dizao stvari u vazduh.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And when I graduated,

Kada sam diplomirao,

I got drafted to the Detroit Lions.

primili su me u Detroit lajonse.

But I pulled a hamstring in training camp,

Ali, istegao sam tetivu u kampu,

and so what every former NFL player does, they go work for NASA, right?

a šta radi svaki bivši igrač NFL-a, počne da radi za NASU, je l' da?

So I went to work for NASA.

Pa sam to i uradio.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And this friend of mine said, "Leland, you'd be great astronaut."

Jedan prijatelj mi je rekao: „Lilande, bio bi sjajan astronaut.“

I just laughed at him, I was like, "Yeah, me, an astronaut?"

Samo sam se nasmejao, u fazonu: „Ma daj, ja astronaut?

You know that Neil and Buzz thing from back in '69?

Kao u onoj priči o Nilu i Bazu iz '69?“

And he handed me an application, and I looked at it,

Dao mi je prijavu, a ja sam je pogledao,

and I didn't fill it out.

ali je nisam popunio.

And that same year, another friend of mine filled out the application

Iste godine, drugi moj prijatelj je popunio prijavu

and he got in.

i upao je.

And I said to myself,

Rekao sam sebi:

"If NASA's letting knuckleheads like that be astronauts,"

„Ako NASA prima ovakve tupane za astronaute,“

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

"maybe I can be one, too."

„možda prime i mene.“

So the next selection, I filled out the application, and I got in.

U sledećoj turi sam ispunio prijavu i upao.

And I didn't know what it meant to be an astronaut:

Nisam znao šta znači biti astronaut:

the training, the simulations,

trening, simulacije,

all these things to get you ready for this countdown:

sve te stvari koje vas spremaju za odbrojavanje:

three, two, one, liftoff.

tri, dva, jedan, poletanje.

And in 2007, I was in Space Shuttle "Atlantis," careening off the planet,

Godine 2007. bio sam u spejs-šatlu „Atlantida“ koji se otisnuo od zemlje,

traveling at 17,500 miles per hour.

putujući brzinom od 28 000 km/h.

And eight and a half minutes later,

Osam i po minuta kasnije,

the main engines cut off, and we're now floating in space.

glavni motori se gase i mi plutamo u svemiru.

And I push off and float over to the window,

Odgurnem se, odlebdim do prozora,

and I can see the Caribbean.

i mogu da vidim Karibe.

And I need new definitions of blue to describe the colors that I see.

Treba mi nova definicija za plavu da opišem boje koje vidim.

Azure, indigo, navy blue, medium navy blue, turquoise

Reči azurnoplava, indigo, tamnoplava, srednje tamnoplava, tirkizna

don't do any justice to what I see with my eyes.

uopšte ne opisuju ono što vidim.

And my job on this mission was to install

Moj posao na misiji je bio da instaliram

this two-billion dollar Columbus laboratory.

laboratoriju Kolumbo,

istraživačku laboratoriju koja je bila vredna dve milijarde dolara

It was a research laboratory

for materials research, for human research.

za istraživanje materijala i za ljudska istraživanja.

And I reached into the payload bay of the space shuttle,

Posegnuo sam u teretnu zonu spejs-šatla,

grabbed out this big module,

zgrabio jedan veliki modul,

and I used the robotic arm and I attached it to the space station.

i, koristeći robotsku ruku, spojio ga za svemirsku stanicu.

And the European team have been waiting 10 years for this thing to get installed,

Tim u Evropi je čekao 10 godina da se ova stvar instalira,

so I'm sure everyone in Europe was like, "Leland! Leland! Leland!"

pa su sigurno svi u Evropi uzvikivali: „Liland! Liland! Liland!“

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And so this moment happened, this was our primary mission objective,

I tako se desio taj trenutak, primarni cilj naše misije,

it was done.

bio je obavljen.

And I had this big sigh of relief.

Uzdahnuo sam sa olakšanjem.

But then, Peggy Whitson, the first female commander,

Ali, onda nas je Pegi Vitson, prva žena zapovednik,

she invited us over to the Russian segment.

pozvala u ruski sektor.

And the space station's about the size of a football field,

Svemirska stanica je otprilike veličine fudbalskog terena,

with solar panel and trusses and all of these modules.

sa solarnim panelima, podupiračima i raznim modulima.

And she says, "Leland, you go get the rehydrated vegetables,

Ona mi kaže: „Lilande, ti idi po rehidrirano povrće,

we have the meat."

mi imamo meso.“

So we float over with the bag of vegetables, all rehydrated,

Tako lebdimo sa vrećom rehidriranog povrća

and we get there.

i stižemo tamo.

And there's this moment

U tom momentu

where I get [transported] back to my mother's kitchen.

ja se transportujem u majčinu kuhinju.

You can smell the beef and barley heating up,

Možete da namirišete govedinu i ječam kako se zagreva,

you can smell the food, the colors,

možete da namirišete hranu, boje,

and there are people there from all around the world.

tu su i ljudi sa svih strana sveta.

It's like a Benetton commercial,

Kao u reklami za Beneton, znate,

you know, you have African American, Asian American, French, German, Russian,

imate Afroamerikanca, azijskog Amerikanca, Francuza, Nemca, Rusa,

the first female commander,

prvu ženu zapovednika,

breaking bread at 17,500 miles per hour,

koji zajedno jedu pri brzini od 28 000 km/h.,

going around the planet every 90 minutes,

kružeći oko planete svakih 90 minuta,

seeing a sunrise and a sunset every 45.

i gledajući izlazak i zalazak sunca svakih 45.

And Peggy would say, "Hey, Leland, try some of this,"

A Pegi kaže: „Hej Lilande, probaj ovo,“

and she'd float it over to my mouth,

i dobaci mi u usta,

and I'd catch it and we'd go back and forth.

a ja uhvatim, i tako par puta.

And we're doing all of this while listening to Sade's "Smooth Operator."

Sve ovo radimo slušajući „Smooth operator“ od Šade.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

I mean, this is like blowing my mind, you know.

Mislim, to me oduševljava, znate.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And I float over to the window, and I look down at the planet,

Odlebdim do prozora, pogledam planetu,

and I see all of humanity.

i vidim čitavo čovečanstvo.

And my perspective changes at that moment,

U tom trenutku mi se promeni perspektiva,

because, I'm flying over Lynchburg, Virginia, my home town,

jer letimo iznad Linčburga u Virdžiniji, mog rodnog grada,

and my family's probably breaking bread.

i moja porodica verovatno zajedno jede.

And five minutes later, we're flying over Paris,

Pet minuta kasnije, letimo iznad Pariza,

where Leo Eyharts is looking down at his parents,

gde Leo Ajharts gleda dole ka svojim roditeljima

probably having some wine and cheese,

koji verovatno jedu sir i piju vino,

and Yuri's looking off to Moscow,

a Jurij gleda Moskvu,

and they're probably eating borscht or something else.

dok njegovi verovatno jedu boršč ili tako nešto.

But we're all having this moment where we see our respective families

Ali svi u tom trenutku vidimo naše različite porodice

working together as one civilization,

kako funkcionišu kao jedna civilizacija,

at 17,500 miles per hour.

na 28 000 km/h.

My perspective shifted cognitively,

Moja perspektiva se kognitivno pomerila,

it changed me.

promenila me je.

And when I think about being that little skinny boy,

Kada razmišljam o sebi kao malom mršavom dečaku

from sometimes racist Lynchburg, Virginia,

iz ponekad rasističkog Linčburga u Virdžiniji,

I would never have had that perspective

nikad ne bih imao tu perspektivu

to think about myself of being an astronaut,

o sebi kao o astronautu,

if my father hadn't taken us on a journey

da nas otac nije poveo na putovanje

in this radical craft that we built with our own two hands.

u tom radikalnom izumu koji smo sami izgradili.

When I came home,

Kada sam se vratio kući,

I realized that perspective is something

shvatio sam da je perspektiva nešto

that we all get and we all have.

što svi imamo.

It's just how far do we open up our blinders

Pitanje je koliko smo spremni da otvorimo vidike

to see that shift and that change.

da tu promenu i vidimo.

And going back to the space station,

Da se vratim na svemirsku stanicu,

I think of, you know, Germans and Russians fighting Americans.

razmišljam o Nemcima i Rusima koji se bore protiv Amerikanaca.

We have these people living and working together.

Ovi ljudi žive i rade zajedno.

White folks, black folks, Russian folks, French folks, you know.

Belci, crnci, Rusi, Francuzi.

All these different people coexisting in harmony as one race.

Svi ti različiti ljudi koegzistiraju u harmoniji kao jedna rasa.

And I think about the colors that I saw, the design of the modules,

I razmišljam o bojama koje sam video, o dizajnu modula,

the way that things fit together,

kako se stvari uklapaju,

the way that it made us a community, our home.

kako nas je ovo pretvorilo u zajednicu, naš dom.

And so when I look up to space now,

Sada kad pogledam u svemir,

and I have this newfound perspective

sa ovom novom perspektivom

on the space station going overhead and looking there,

svemirske stanice koja gleda odozgo,

and then looking back at my community

a zatim pogledam svoju zajednicu

and seeing the people that I'm living and working with,

i vidim ljude sa kojima živim, radim

and coexisting with,

i koegzistiram,

I think it's something that we all can do now, especially in these times,

mislim da je to nešto što svi možemo, pogotovo u ovim vremenima,

to make sure that we have the right perspective.

da se pobrinemo da imamo pravu perspektivu.

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

Chee Pearlman: If you don't mind, could I just chat with you for a minute,

Či Perlman: Ako ti ne smeta, malo bih proćaskala s tobom,

because they're going to set up some things here.

dok oni ovde nešto postavljaju.

And I get to have you all to myself, OK.

I bićeš samo moj, okej?

Leland Melvin: Alright.

Liland Melvin: Dobro.

CP: You guys don't get to hear this.

ČP: Pravite se da ne čujete.

So I have to tell you

Moram da ti kažem

that in my family, we watch a lot of space movies

da se u mojoj porodici gleda puno svemirskih filmova

about astronauts and stuff like that.

o astronautima i sličnim stvarima.

I can't tell you why, but we do.

Ne mogu vam reći zašto, ali tako je.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

The thing that I wanted to ask you, though,

U stvari, htela sam da te pitam,

is that we were seeing this movie the other day,

gledali smo neki film pre neki dan,

and it was about one of the astronauts, one of your colleagues,

bio je o jednom astronautu, tvom kolegi,

and before he went up into space,

i pre nego što je otišao u svemir,

they actually wrote an obituary, NASA wrote an obituary for him.

napisali su mu umrlicu, NASA mu je napisala umrlicu.

And I was like, is that normal?

Pitala sam se da li je to normalno.

And is that part of the job?

Da li je to deo posla?

Do you think about that peril that you're putting yourself in

Da li razmišljate o opasnosti kojoj se izlažete

as you go into space?

kada idete u svemir?

LM: Yeah.

LM: Da.

So, I don't remember anyone writing my obituary,

Ne sećam se da je iko pisao moju umrlicu,

maybe that was an Apollo-day thing.

možda je to bilo nešto vezano za Apolo.

But I do know that in the 135 shuttle flights that we've had,

Ali znam da je od 135 letova koje smo imali,

the shuttle that I flew on,

letelica kojom sam ja putovao,

we had two accidents that killed everyone on that mission.

doživela dve nesreće u kojima su poginuli svi na misiji.

And we all know the perils and the risks that go along with this,

Svi znamo koje opasnosti i rizici idu uz ovo,

but we're doing something that's much bigger than ourselves,

ali radimo nešto veće od nas samih,

and helping advance civilization,

pomažemo napretku civilizaciji,

so the risk is worth the reward.

tako da se isplati.

And we all feel that way when we get into that vehicle

Svi se osećamo tako kada uđemo u to vozilo

ans strap into those million pounds of rocket fuel and go up to space.

sa pola miliona litara raketnog goriva i poletimo u svemir.

CP: Yeah, I've only seen the Hollywood version --

ČP: Da, ja sam videla samo holivudsku verziju -

it looks pretty terrifying, I have to tell you.

moram da ti kažem, izgleda prilično strašno.

LM: You should go.

LM: Trebalo bi da odeš.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

CP: Yeah, my husband's told me that a few times.

ČP: Da, muž mi je to rekao par puta.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

LM: One-way trip or two-way?

LM: Jednosmerno ili dvosmerno putovanje?

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

CP: That’s a bit of a debate in our house.

ČP: To je pomalo diskutabilno u našoj kući.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

I wanted to, if I may ...

Htela sam, ako smem...

You did touch on something that was very powerful and difficult,

Dotakao si se nečega jako snažnog i teškog,

which is, you spoke about this incident

kada si govorio o tom slučaju

that had happened to you when you were five years old,

koji ti se dogodio kada si imao pet godina,

kada si silovan.

and that you were raped.

Mislim da je tvoja sposobnost da to ispričaš,

And I just think that for you to be able to say those things,

you know, on the TED stage,

znaš, na pozornici TED-a,

to be able to talk about that at all,

da uopšte govoriš o tome,

is pretty fearless.

prilično neustrašiva.

And I wanted to get a sense from you,

Htela sam da steknem uvid,

is that something that you think is important for you to share that now,

da li misliš da je važno da to sada podeliš,

to speak about it?

da o tome govoriš?

LM: It's so important, especially for men, to talk about things that have happened,

LM: Jako je važno, pogotovo muškarcima, da govore o stvarima koje su se dogodile

because we've been trained

jer su nas istrenirali

and told by our society that we have to be so tough and so hard

i jer nam društvo kaže da moramo biti tako otporni i snažni

and we can't tell of things that are happening to us.

i da ne treba da pričamo o onome što nam se događa.

But I've had so many men contact me and tell me that,

Ali, toliko je muškaraca kontaktiralo sa mnom i reklo mi:

"You came through that, you got over that,

„Ti si prošao kroz to, prevazišao si to,

I'm going to get over my alcoholism,"

i ja ću prevazići svoj alkoholizam,“

i te stvari koje se događaju u njima,

and these things that are going on in them,

because of what happened to them.

zbog onogo što im se desilo.

And so we must share these stories, this is part of storytelling,

Moramo deliti ove priče, to je deo pripovedanja,

to heal us and to make us whole as a community.

kako bi nas izlečile i ujedinile kao zajednicu.

CP: That's wonderful.

ČP: To je sjajno.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

And you know, quite honestly, you spoke about perspective shift,

I znaš, iskreno, govorio si o promeni perspektive,

and that is a shift that I think we've been very slow to accept

a to je, čini mi se, promena koju jako sporo prihvatamo

and to be able to speak about that, so we thank you for that.

i o njoj govorimo, pa ti zato zahvaljujemo.

We thank you for being the amazing astronaut that you are,

Zahvaljujemo ti što si tako sjajan astronaut,

and thank you for coming to the TED stage, Leland.

i što si došao na pozornicu TED-a.

LM: Thank you so much, Chee.

LM: Hvala ti mnogo, Či.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)