An astronaut's story of curiosity, perspective and change | Leland Melvin

譯者: Lilian Chiu 審譯者: Helen Chang

[This talk contains mature content]

【本演說有成人內容】

In 1969, I was standing behind

1969 年，

我站在一台喜萬年的黑白電視機後面。

a Sylvania black-and-white television set.

Hearing about these things happening on the set in the front,

聽著前面的電視機中發生的事，

I was the guy, you know,

我是負責幫我爸爸、姐姐、 媽媽調整室內天線的那個人。

moving the rabbit ears for my dad, and my sister and my mom.

"Move over here, turn over here, move this way, we can't see the screen."

「移向這邊，轉過來這裡，移向 這個方向，我們看不到畫面。」

And what they were watching

他們在看的是：

was: "One small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind."

「我的一小步， 是人類的一大步。」

Neil [Armstrong] and Buzz Aldrin were walking on the Moon.

尼爾 · 阿姆斯壯 和伯茲 · 艾德林在月球上行走。

And I was five years old in Lynchburg, Virginia,

我才五歲，住在 維吉尼亞的林奇堡，

a skinny black kid in a kind of somewhat racist town.

我是個瘦巴巴的黑人小孩， 住在一個有種族歧視的小鎮。

And I was trying to figure out what I was going to do with my life.

我還在想著我人生到底要做什麼。

And my parents, you know, they were educators,

而我父母，他們是教育家，

they'd said that you can do anything.

他們會說，你能做任何事。

But after that moon landing, all the kids in the neighborhood

但在登陸月球之後， 鄰里中的所有孩子

were like, "You're going to be an astronaut?"

都會問：「你將來要當太空人嗎？」

I'm like, "No."

我會說：「不。」

I don't want a buzz cut, and I don't see someone who looks like me.

我不想要剪平頭， 也沒看見外表跟我類似的人。

因為外表確實很重要。

Because representation does matter.

And I knew that there was a guy

我知道有個傢伙，

five blocks down the street on Pierce Street

住在皮爾斯街，離我家五個街區，

who was training to play tennis.

他在接受網球訓練。

And it was Arthur Ashe.

他是亞瑟 · 艾許。

And my dad talked about his character, his discipline,

我爸爸會談他的性格、他的紀律、

his intelligence, his athleticism.

他的智慧、他對體育的熱愛。

I wanted to be Arthur Ashe,

我想要成為亞瑟 · 艾許， 我並不想成為上月球的人。

I didn't want to be one of those moon guys.

And as I went on through this journey,

當我在這段人生旅途上時，

my dad, who was a school teacher, he played in a band,

我爸爸是學校老師，在樂團演奏，

he did all these things to make money for my sister and I

他做這些是為了賺錢 讓我姐姐和我可以上鋼琴課，

to take piano lessons

and do these different things with education.

以及學其他不同的東西。

And he one day decides to drive up into the driveway with this bread truck.

有一天，他決定把這台麵包車

開上我們家的車道。

And I'm thinking, "OK, bread truck,

我心想：「好吧，麵包車，

me delivering bread while my dad's driving the truck."

我爸開車，我負責送麵包。」

I'm like, "OK, I'm going to be a bread guy now."

我說：「好吧，我現在 要當送麵包的人了。」

But he says, "This is our camper."

但他說：「這是我們的露營車。」

I'm like, "Dude, come one, I can read: 'Merita Bread and Rolls'

我說：「拜託，我識字，

車上印著『瑪莉塔麵包和捲餅』。」

on the side of this truck.

And he says, "No, we're going to build this into our camper."

他說：「不，我們要把它 改造成我們的露營車。」

And over that summer, we rewired the entire electrical system.

那年夏天，我們 重新接過整個電氣系統。

We plumbed a propane tank to a Coleman stove,

我們把一個丙烷罐 改裝成一個柯爾曼爐，

we built bunk beds that flip down.

我們打造了可以翻下來的上下鋪。

We were turning this into our summer vacation launch pad, escape pod,

我們把這東西改造成我們的

暑假用火箭發射台、逃生艙，

this thing that could take us out of Lynchburg.

它能帶我們離開林奇堡。

And before that,

在那之前，

I was actually raped at five by some neighbors.

我五歲時，被一些鄰居性侵。

And I didn't tell anyone,

我沒有告訴任何人，

because I had friends that didn't have fathers.

因為我有些朋友沒有爸爸。

And I knew that my father

我知道我爸爸若知情，

would have killed the people that did that to his son.

一定會殺了對他兒子 做這種事的人。

And I didn't want my father to be gone.

我不希望我也變成沒有爸爸。

So as we got in this bread truck and escaped from Lynchburg,

所以，當我們進入這台 麵包車，逃離林奇堡，

it was my time with my dad.

那是我和我爸爸相處的時間。

And we went to the Smoky Mountains

我們去了大煙山，

and looked at the purple mountains' majesty.

看著紫色山岳的雄偉。

And we walked along the beach in Myrtle Beach,

在默特爾比奇的海灘散步，

and this thing was transformative.

這件事帶來了巨大的轉變。

It showed me what it meant to be an explorer, at a very early age.

它讓我在很小的年紀 就見識到身為探險家的意義。

And I suppressed all that negativity,

我壓抑了所有的負面創傷，

all that trauma,

because I was learning to be an explorer.

因為我在學著成為探險家。

And a little bit later, my mother gave me an age-inappropriate,

不久後我媽給我一組化學藥劑套組，

non-OSHA-certified chemistry set,

既不適合我的年齡， 又沒有職業衛生安全局認證，

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

where I created the most incredible explosion in her living room.

我用這組套組，在她的客廳 創造出了最驚人的爆炸。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And so I knew I could be a chemist.

所以，我知道我能成為化學家。

So as I went on this journey through a high school,

我繼續著這趟旅程，進入高中，

and I went to college,

又上了大學，

and I got a football scholarship to play football in college.

我拿到了大學的美式足球員獎學金。

And I knew that I could be a chemist, because I'd already blown stuff up.

我知道我能成為化學家， 因為我已經能炸掉東西。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And when I graduated,

我畢業時，

I got drafted to the Detroit Lions.

我被底特律雄獅隊選上。

But I pulled a hamstring in training camp,

但在訓練營時，我的大腿肌腱拉傷，

and so what every former NFL player does, they go work for NASA, right?

前國家美式足球聯盟 (NFL) 球員

都去美國太空總署工作，對吧？

So I went to work for NASA.

所以我就去那裡工作了。（笑聲）

(Laughter)

And this friend of mine said, "Leland, you'd be great astronaut."

我有一位朋友說：「利蘭， 你會是很出色的太空人。」

I just laughed at him, I was like, "Yeah, me, an astronaut?"

我只是笑他，我說： 「最好是啦，我？太空人？」

You know that Neil and Buzz thing from back in '69?

你們知道 1969 年 尼爾和伯茲的事？

And he handed me an application, and I looked at it,

他遞給我一份申請表， 我看著它，沒有去填寫。

and I didn't fill it out.

And that same year, another friend of mine filled out the application

同年，我的另一位朋友 填了那份申請書，

and he got in.

他入選了。

And I said to myself,

我對我自己說：

"If NASA's letting knuckleheads like that be astronauts,"

「如果美國太空總署 讓那種笨蛋當太空人，」

(Laughter)

（笑聲）「也許我也能當太空人。」

"maybe I can be one, too."

So the next selection, I filled out the application, and I got in.

所以，在下一次選拔， 我填了申請表，我入選了。

And I didn't know what it meant to be an astronaut:

我當時不知道當太空人代表什麼：

the training, the simulations,

訓練、模擬，

all these things to get you ready for this countdown:

所有要讓你準備好 倒數升空所必要的事：

three, two, one, liftoff.

三、二、一，發射。

And in 2007, I was in Space Shuttle "Atlantis," careening off the planet,

2007 年，

我在亞特蘭提斯號太空梭上， 搖晃著飛離地球，

traveling at 17,500 miles per hour.

行進時速一萬七千五百英里。

And eight and a half minutes later,

八分半鐘之後，

the main engines cut off, and we're now floating in space.

主引擎停止，我們在太空中漂浮。

And I push off and float over to the window,

我把自己推起來，漂向窗戶，

and I can see the Caribbean.

我可以看見加勒比海。

And I need new definitions of blue to describe the colors that I see.

要有藍色的新定義， 我才能夠描述我看見的顏色。

Azure, indigo, navy blue, medium navy blue, turquoise

蔚藍色、靛藍色、深藍色、 中深藍色、藍綠色，

don't do any justice to what I see with my eyes.

都無法形容我雙眼所看到的。

And my job on this mission was to install

我在這次任務中的工作

是要安裝這間二十億美金的 哥倫布實驗室。

this two-billion dollar Columbus laboratory.

It was a research laboratory

它是一間研究實驗室，

for materials research, for human research.

用做材料研究，用做人類研究。

And I reached into the payload bay of the space shuttle,

我把手伸到太空船的酬載艙內，

grabbed out this big module,

把這個大模組抓出來，

and I used the robotic arm and I attached it to the space station.

我使用機械手臂， 將它連結至太空站。

And the European team have been waiting 10 years for this thing to get installed,

歐洲團隊等了十年才等到 這個東西安裝好，

so I'm sure everyone in Europe was like, "Leland! Leland! Leland!"

我相信，在歐洲的每個人都在： 「利蘭！利蘭！利蘭！」

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And so this moment happened, this was our primary mission objective,

這個時刻發生了， 這是我們的主要任務方針，

it was done.

完成了。

And I had this big sigh of relief.

我大大鬆了一口氣。

But then, Peggy Whitson, the first female commander,

但，接著，佩吉 · 惠特森， 第一位女性指揮官，

she invited us over to the Russian segment.

她邀請我們過去俄國區。

And the space station's about the size of a football field,

太空站的大小大約是一個足球場，

with solar panel and trusses and all of these modules.

上面有著太陽能板、桁架、各種模組。

And she says, "Leland, you go get the rehydrated vegetables,

她說：「利蘭，你去拿脫水蔬菜，

we have the meat."

我們有肉。」

So we float over with the bag of vegetables, all rehydrated,

所以，我們帶著一袋蔬菜， 都是脫水的，漂過去，

and we get there.

我們到了那裡。

And there's this moment

有這麼一刻，

where I get [transported] back to my mother's kitchen.

我覺得我被傳送回了我媽媽的廚房。

You can smell the beef and barley heating up,

你能聞到牛肉和大麥正在加熱，

you can smell the food, the colors,

你能聞到食物，顏色，

and there are people there from all around the world.

且那裡有來自世界各地的人。

It's like a Benetton commercial,

就像是班尼頓的廣告，

you know, you have African American, Asian American, French, German, Russian,

有非裔美國人、亞裔美國人、 法國人、德國人、俄國人，

the first female commander,

第一位女性指揮官，

breaking bread at 17,500 miles per hour,

以時速一萬七千五百英里在用餐，

going around the planet every 90 minutes,

每九十分鐘就繞地球一圈，

seeing a sunrise and a sunset every 45.

每四十五分鐘就看到 一次日出和日落。

佩吉會說：「嘿，利蘭，試試這個。」

And Peggy would say, "Hey, Leland, try some of this,"

and she'd float it over to my mouth,

然後她會讓那東西漂向我的嘴巴，

and I'd catch it and we'd go back and forth.

我得要接住它， 我們會這樣來來回回。

And we're doing all of this while listening to Sade's "Smooth Operator."

我們一邊做這些

一邊聽莎黛的《調情聖手》。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I mean, this is like blowing my mind, you know.

這真的是讓我印象好深。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And I float over to the window, and I look down at the planet,

我漂向窗戶， 我向下看這個星球，

and I see all of humanity.

我看到全人類。

And my perspective changes at that moment,

在那一刻，我的觀點改變了，

because, I'm flying over Lynchburg, Virginia, my home town,

因為，我正在飛過維吉尼亞的 林奇堡，我的家鄉，

and my family's probably breaking bread.

我的家人可能正在吃飯。

And five minutes later, we're flying over Paris,

五分鐘之後，我們飛過巴黎，

where Leo Eyharts is looking down at his parents,

換成李歐 · 艾哈特斯 向下看著他的父母，

probably having some wine and cheese,

可能正在喝葡萄酒吃起士，

and Yuri's looking off to Moscow,

尤里則是遠望著莫斯科，

and they're probably eating borscht or something else.

他們可能正在吃 羅宋湯或其他東西。

But we're all having this moment where we see our respective families

但我們都有這個時刻， 看到我們各自的家人，

working together as one civilization,

大家隸屬同一個文明，同心協力，

at 17,500 miles per hour.

時速一萬七千五百英里。

My perspective shifted cognitively,

我的認知觀點改變了，

it changed me.

它改變了我。

And when I think about being that little skinny boy,

當我想到我還是那個瘦小的男孩，

from sometimes racist Lynchburg, Virginia,

住在維吉尼亞的 種族主義小鎮林奇堡，

I would never have had that perspective

我當時絕對不會有那種觀點，

to think about myself of being an astronaut,

認為我自己會成為太空人，

if my father hadn't taken us on a journey

一切都是因為我爸爸帶我們

in this radical craft that we built with our own two hands.

搭我們親手打造的太空船去旅行。

When I came home,

回家後我了解到

I realized that perspective is something

我們每個人都有那種觀點。

that we all get and we all have.

It's just how far do we open up our blinders

差別只在於我們把眼罩拉高多少

to see that shift and that change.

以看到轉變和改變。

And going back to the space station,

回到太空站，

I think of, you know, Germans and Russians fighting Americans.

我想著德國人和俄國人對抗美國人。

We have these people living and working together.

這些人住在一起，工作在一起。

White folks, black folks, Russian folks, French folks, you know.

白人、黑人、俄國人、法國人，

All these different people coexisting in harmony as one race.

所有這些不同的人和諧地 共同生存，同屬一個種族。

And I think about the colors that I saw, the design of the modules,

我想著我看到的顏色，

模組的設計，

the way that things fit together,

一切很吻合地結合在一起，

the way that it made us a community, our home.

讓我們成為一個社區，

我們的家園。

And so when I look up to space now,

所以，現在當我抬頭看向太空，

and I have this newfound perspective

我有著這種我新發現的觀點，

on the space station going overhead and looking there,

在上面的太空站上，看著那裡，

and then looking back at my community

接著，回頭看向我的社區，

and seeing the people that I'm living and working with,

看到跟我住在一起， 工作在一起的人，

and coexisting with,

共存的人，

I think it's something that we all can do now, especially in these times,

我想這是我們所有人 現在都能做的，

特別是在這個時代，

to make sure that we have the right perspective.

確保我們有正確的觀點。

Thank you.

謝謝。

(Applause)

（掌聲）

Chee Pearlman: If you don't mind, could I just chat with you for a minute,

切．佩爾曼：如果你不介意， 我能不能和你聊一下，

因為他們要在這裡做些準備工作。

because they're going to set up some things here.

And I get to have you all to myself, OK.

而我可以佔有你。

Leland Melvin: Alright.

利蘭．梅爾文：好的。

CP: You guys don't get to hear this.

切：你們沒聽到這些。

So I have to tell you

所以，我得要告訴你，

that in my family, we watch a lot of space movies

在我家，

我們看很多太空電影，

about astronauts and stuff like that.

講太空人之類的故事。

I can't tell you why, but we do.

我不知道為什麼，但就是如此。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

The thing that I wanted to ask you, though,

不過，我想要問你的是，

is that we were seeing this movie the other day,

有一天，我們看了一部電影，

and it was about one of the astronauts, one of your colleagues,

講的是一位太空人， 你的一位同事，

and before he went up into space,

在他上太空之前，

they actually wrote an obituary, NASA wrote an obituary for him.

他們真的會寫訃文， 美國太空總署為他寫了訃文。

And I was like, is that normal?

我心想，這是正常的嗎？

And is that part of the job?

這是工作的一部分？

Do you think about that peril that you're putting yourself in

你會去想當你上太空時，

是讓自己處在什麼樣的危險中嗎？

as you go into space?

LM: Yeah.

里蘭：好。

So, I don't remember anyone writing my obituary,

我不記得有人寫我的訃文，

maybe that was an Apollo-day thing.

也許那是阿波羅時期的事。

But I do know that in the 135 shuttle flights that we've had,

但我確實知道，我們的 135 趟太空梭飛行，

the shuttle that I flew on,

我搭乘過的太空梭，

we had two accidents that killed everyone on that mission.

我們有兩次意外， 出任務的人全數喪生。

And we all know the perils and the risks that go along with this,

我們都知道這工作的危險和風險，

but we're doing something that's much bigger than ourselves,

但我們在做的事情 超越了我們自身，

and helping advance civilization,

協助文明的進步，

so the risk is worth the reward.

冒這樣的風險是值得的。

And we all feel that way when we get into that vehicle

當我們進入太空梭， 和幾百萬噸的火箭燃料

ans strap into those million pounds of rocket fuel and go up to space.

綁在一起飛上太空時， 我們都是這麼想的。

CP: Yeah, I've only seen the Hollywood version --

切：是的，我看過好萊塢版的——

it looks pretty terrifying, I have to tell you.

我必須要說，看起來挺嚇人的。

LM: You should go.

里：你應該去試試。（笑聲）

(Laughter)

CP: Yeah, my husband's told me that a few times.

切：是啊，我老公 也這樣說過幾次。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

LM: One-way trip or two-way?

里：單程或來回？

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

CP: That’s a bit of a debate in our house.

切：我們在家裡就在辯論這個。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I wanted to, if I may ...

我想要，如果可以的話……

You did touch on something that was very powerful and difficult,

你剛提到了非常強大 且不容易的事，

which is, you spoke about this incident

就是，你談到當你五歲時

that had happened to you when you were five years old,

遇到的那次意外，你被性侵的事。

and that you were raped.

我只是覺得，你能說出這種事情，

And I just think that for you to be able to say those things,

you know, on the TED stage,

你知道的，在 TED 的台上，

to be able to talk about that at all,

光是能談這件事，

is pretty fearless.

就是相當無懼的。

And I wanted to get a sense from you,

而我想要聽聽你的感受，

is that something that you think is important for you to share that now,

你認為這重要嗎？ 在現在分享這件事，

to speak about it?

談這件事？

LM: It's so important, especially for men, to talk about things that have happened,

里：非常重要，特別是 要男人談發生過的事，

because we've been trained

因為我們都被訓練，

and told by our society that we have to be so tough and so hard

被社會教導要強悍，要堅強，

and we can't tell of things that are happening to us.

我們無法說出 發生在我們身上的事。

But I've had so many men contact me and tell me that,

但有好多男人都會這樣跟我說：

"You came through that, you got over that,

「你熬過來、恢復了， 我也要來克服我的酗酒問題。」

I'm going to get over my alcoholism,"

and these things that are going on in them,

這些因為他們的遭遇 而產生的內在掙扎。

because of what happened to them.

And so we must share these stories, this is part of storytelling,

所以我們必須要分享這些故事， 這是說故事的一部分，

to heal us and to make us whole as a community.

以治癒我們，讓我們 大家成為一個共同體。

CP: That's wonderful.

切：那很棒。

(Applause)

（掌聲）

And you know, quite honestly, you spoke about perspective shift,

你知道的，老實說， 你談到觀點轉變，

and that is a shift that I think we've been very slow to accept

我認為我們要花很多時間 慢慢接受這種轉變，

and to be able to speak about that, so we thank you for that.

去談這類的事情， 所以我們很謝謝你談這些。

We thank you for being the amazing astronaut that you are,

我們謝謝你成為 這麼出色的太空人，

and thank you for coming to the TED stage, Leland.

謝謝你來到 TED 的舞台，利蘭。

LM: Thank you so much, Chee.

利：非常謝謝你，切。

(Applause)

（掌聲）