The nit-picking glory of The New Yorker's Comma Queen | Mary Norris

79,498 views ・ 2016-05-10

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I have spent the past 38 years trying to be invisible.
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I'm a copy editor.
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I work at The New Yorker,
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and copyediting for The New Yorker is like playing shortstop
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for a Major League Baseball team:
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every little movement gets picked over by the critics --
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God forbid you should commit an error.
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Just to clarify: copy editors don't choose what goes into the magazine.
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We work at the level of the sentence,
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maybe the paragraph,
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the words, the punctuation.
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Our business is in the details.
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We put the diaeresis, the double dot, over the "i" in "naïve."
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We impose house style.
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Every publication has a house style.
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The New Yorker's is particularly distinctive.
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We sometimes get teased for our style.
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Imagine -- we still spell "teen-ager" with a hyphen,
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as if that word had just been coined.
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But you see that hyphen in "teen-age"
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and that diaeresis over "coöperate,"
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and you know you're reading The New Yorker.
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Copyediting at The New Yorker is a mechanical process.
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There is a related role called query proofreading,
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or page-OK'ing.
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Whereas copyediting is mechanical,
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query proofreading is interpretive.
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We make suggestions to the author through the editor
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to improve the emphasis of a sentence
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or point out unintentional repetitions
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and supply compelling alternatives.
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Our purpose is to make the author look good.
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Note that we give our proofs not directly to the author,
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but to the editor.
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This often creates a good cop/bad cop dynamic
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in which the copy editor -- I'll use that as an umbrella term --
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is invariably the bad cop.
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If we do our job well, we're invisible,
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but as soon as we make a mistake,
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we copy editors become glaringly visible.
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Here is the most recent mistake that was laid at my door.
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[Last Tuesday, Sarah Palin, the pre-Trump embodiment
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of populist no-nothingism in the Republican Party,
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endorsed Trump.]
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"Where were The New Yorker's fabled copy editors?" a reader wrote.
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"Didn't the writer mean 'know-nothingism'?"
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Ouch.
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There's no excuse for this mistake.
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But I like it: "no-nothingism."
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It might be American vernacular for "nihilism."
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(Laughter)
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Here, another reader quotes a passage from the magazine:
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[Ruby was seventy-six, but she retained her authoritative bearing;
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only her unsteady gait belied her age.]
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He added:
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"Surely, someone at The New Yorker knows the meaning of 'belied,'
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and that it is the opposite of how it is used in this sentence.
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Come on! Get it together."
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Belie: to give a false impression.
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It should have been "betrayed."
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E.B. White once wrote of commas in The New Yorker:
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"They fall with the precision of knives outlining a body."
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(Laughter)
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And it's true -- we get a lot of complaints about commas.
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"Are there really two commas in 'Martin Luther King, Jr., Boulevard'?"
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There may not be on the sign, but yes, that is New Yorker style for "Jr."
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One wag wrote:
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["Please, could you expel, or, at least, restrain,
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the comma-maniac, on your editorial staff?"]
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(Laughter)
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Ah, well.
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In this case, those commas are well-placed,
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except that there should not be one
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between "maniac" and "on."
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(Laughter)
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Also, if we must have commas around "at least,"
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we might change it up by using dashes around that phrase:
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"... -- or, at least, restrain --"
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Perfect.
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(Applause)
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Then there's this:
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"Love you, love your magazine,
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but can you please stop writing massive numbers as text?"
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[two and a half million ...]
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No.
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(Laughter)
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One last cri de coeur from a spelling stickler:
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["Those long stringy things are vocal cords, not chords."]
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The outraged reader added,
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"I'm sure I'm not the first to write
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regarding this egregious proofreading error,
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but I'm equally sure I won't be the last.
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Fie!"
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(Laughter)
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I used to like getting mail.
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There is a pact between writers and editors.
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The editor never sells out the writer,
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never goes public about bad jokes that had to be cut
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or stories that went on too long.
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A great editor saves a writer from her excesses.
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Copy editors, too, have a code;
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we don't advertise our oversights.
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I feel disloyal divulging them here,
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so let's have look at what we do right.
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Somehow, I've gotten a reputation for sternness.
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But I work with writers who know how to have their way with me.
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I've known Ian Frazier, or "Sandy," since the early 80s.
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And he's one of my favorites,
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even though he sometimes writes a sentence
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that gives a copy editor pause.
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Here is one from a story about Staten Island
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after Hurricane Sandy:
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[A dock that had been broken in the middle and lost its other half
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sloped down toward the water,
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its support pipes and wires leaning forward
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like when you open a box of linguine and it slides out.]
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(Laughter)
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This would never have got past the grammarian in the days of yore.
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But what could I do?
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Technically, the "like" should be an "as,"
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but it sounds ridiculous,
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as if the author were about to embark on an extended Homeric simile --
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"as when you open a box of linguine."
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(Laughter)
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I decided that the hurricane conferred poetic justice on Sandy
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and let the sentence stand.
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(Laughter)
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Generally, if I think something is wrong,
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I query it three times.
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I told Sandy that not long ago in a moment of indiscretion and he said,
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"Only three?"
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So, he has learned to hold out.
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Recently, he wrote a story for "Talk of the Town,"
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that's the section at the front of the magazine
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with short pieces on subjects ranging from Ricky Jay's exhibit
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at the Metropolitan Museum
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to the introduction of doggie bags in France.
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Sandy's story was about the return to the Bronx
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of Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor.
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There were three things in it that I had to challenge.
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First, a grammar query.
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The justice was wearing black and Sandy wrote,
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[Her face and hands stood out like in an old, mostly dark painting.]
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Now, unlike with the hurricane,
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with this "like," the author didn't have the excuse
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of describing hurricane damage.
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"Like" in this sense is a preposition, and a preposition takes an object,
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which is a noun.
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This "like" had to be an "as."
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"As in an old, mostly dark painting."
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Second, a spelling issue.
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The author was quoting someone who was assisting the justice:
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["It will be just a minute.
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We are getting the justice mic'ed,"]
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Mic'ed?
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The music industry spells it "mic"
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because that's how it's spelled on the equipment.
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I'd never seen it used as a verb with this spelling,
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and I was distraught to think that "mic'ed"
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would get into the magazine on my watch.
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(Laughter)
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New Yorker style for "microphone" in its abbreviated form is "mike."
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Finally, there was a sticky grammar and usage issue
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in which the pronoun has to have the same grammatical number
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as its antecedent.
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[everyone in the vicinity held their breath]
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"Their" is plural and "everyone," its antecedent, is singular.
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You would never say, "Everyone were there."
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Everyone was there. Everyone is here.
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But people say things like, "Everyone held their breath" all the time.
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To give it legitimacy,
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copy editors call it "the singular 'their,'"
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as if calling it singular makes it no longer plural.
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(Laughter)
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It is my job when I see it in print to do my best to eliminate it.
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I couldn't make it, "Everyone held her breath,"
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or "Everyone held his breath,"
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or "Everyone held his or her breath."
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Whatever I suggested had to blend in.
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I asked, through the editor,
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if the author would consider changing it
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to "All in the vicinity held their breath,"
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because "all" is plural.
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Nope.
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I tried again: "All those present held their breath?"
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I thought this sounded vaguely judicial.
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But the editor pointed out
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that we could not have "present" and "presence"
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in the same sentence.
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When the final proof came back,
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the author had accepted "as" for "like,"
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and "miked" for "mic'ed."
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But on "Everyone held their breath," he stood his ground.
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Two out of three isn't bad.
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In the same issue,
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in that piece on doggie bags in France,
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there was the gratuitous use of the f-word by a Frenchman.
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I wonder, when the mail comes in,
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which will have offended the readers more.
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(Laughter)
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Thank you.
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(Applause)
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