What we can do about the culture of hate | Sally Kohn

譯者: Lilian Chiu 審譯者: Yanyan Hong

So people tell me I'm a nice person ...

大家都告訴我說，我人很好……

to the point where it's part of my personal and professional identity

好像這已經是我個人 及職業身分的一部分，

that I'm so nice and able to get along with anyone,

我人很好，好到能和任何人相處，

even my most fierce opponents.

甚至是我最可怕的對手。

It's like my "thing," it's what I'm known for.

這就像是我的「特長」， 我以這點而聞名。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

But what no one knows ...

但沒有人知道……

is that I was a bully.

我曾是個惡霸。

Honestly, I didn't think about it much myself.

老實說，我自己不太去想這事。

I buried the memories for years,

我把這段記憶埋藏很多年了，

and even still, a lot of it's really hazy.

但很多部分真的很模糊。

Denial, by the way, apparently is also one of my things.

順道一提，很顯然， 否認也是我的特長之一。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

But the more people started to praise me

但越多人開始讚美我，

for being a liberal who could get along with conservatives,

說我是能與保守派相處的自由派，

and the more I wrote articles about being nice

且我越去寫關於要對人好的文章，

and gave talks about being nice,

演說關於要對人好的題材，

the more I felt this hypocrisy creeping up inside me.

我卻越覺得我內在 有種偽善在慢慢增長。

What if I was actually really mean?

如果我其實很卑鄙怎麼辦？

When I was 10 years old,

當我十歲時，

there was a girl in my class at school named Vicky.

在學校，我班上有一個女孩叫維琪。

(Sigh)

（嘆氣）

And I tormented her ...

我會捉弄她……

mercilessly.

很無情地捉弄。

I mean, everyone did.

人人都如此。

Even the teachers picked on her.

甚至老師們也找她的碴。

It doesn't make it any better, does it?

但這樣也不會 讓此事聼起來比較好吧？

Vicky was clearly a troubled kid.

很顯然維琪是個問題兒童。

She would hit herself and give herself bloody noses

她會打自己，打到流鼻血，

and she had hygiene problems --

她還有衛生問題——

she had big hygiene problems.

她有很大的衛生問題。

But instead of helping this girl,

但我們沒有去幫助這個女孩，

who was plainly suffering from hardships in her life ...

很顯然她的人生是十分艱苦的……

we called her "Sticky Vicky."

我們反而叫她「黏黏維琪」。

I called her "Sticky Vicky."

我叫她「黏黏維琪」。

My clearest memory is standing in the empty hallway

我最清楚的記憶是 站在空無一人的走廊，

outside the fifth grade classrooms

在五年級教室的外面，

waiting for Vicky to come out of the bathroom,

等維琪從廁所出來，

我拿著寫字夾板、筆，

and I have a clipboard and a pen and a survey I've made up,

和我編造的一項洗髮精偏好調查表，

asking about shampoo preferences,

like I'm doing a study for science class or something.

好像我在做科學課的研究之類的事。

And when Vicky comes out of the bathroom,

當維琪從廁所出來時，

I pounce on her and I ask her what shampoo she uses.

我立馬抓住她，問她用什麼洗髮精。

Now, to put this in perspective,

綜觀這件事情，

I can't remember the names of my teachers,

我記不得我老師的名字了，

我記不得我那年讀過的書 書名是什麼，

I can't remember the names of any of the books I read that year,

我幾乎記不得五年級的任何事，

I pretty much can't remember anything from fifth grade,

但我記得維琪告訴我， 她用白雨 (White Rain) 洗髮精。

but I remember that Vicky told me she used White Rain shampoo.

Clear as yesterday,

記憶猶新，

like it just happened.

好像剛發生一樣。

And as classes let out,

當大家開始出教室時，

I ran down the hall shouting at all the other kids,

我跑到走廊，對所有其他孩子大叫：

"Sticky Vicky uses White Rain shampoo.

「黏黏維琪用白雨洗髮精。

Don't use White Rain shampoo

別用白雨洗髮精，

or you'll smell like Sticky Vicky."

不然你聞起來就會 像黏黏維琪一樣。」

I forgot about this memory for a long time.

有好長一段時間，我忘了這段記憶。

When I finally started remembering it,

當我終於開始憶起時，

I immediately needed to know more.

我馬上就需要知道更多。

我試圖聯繫朋友， 最終甚至嘗試社交媒體，

I reached out to friends and eventually social media,

and I did everything I could to try to find Vicky.

我盡一切可能試著找到維琪。

I needed to know that she was OK,

我需要知道她過得不錯，

and that I hadn't ruined her life.

知道我沒有毀了她的人生。

(Sigh)

（嘆氣）

But what I quickly realized

但我很快就發現，

was I wasn't just trying to figure out what happened to Vicky.

我不是在試著找出 維琪發生了什麼事。

I was trying to figure out what happened to me.

我是在試著找出我發生了什麼事。

When I was 10 years old,

當我十歲時，

I treated another human being like some worthless other ...

我對待另一個人類的方式 就像她是某種沒價值的人……

like I was better than her,

彷彿我比她好，

and she was garbage.

而她是垃圾。

What kind of a nice person does that?

哪種好人會做出這種事？

I mean, I know I was only a kid,

我知道我那時還小，

but not all kids do that.

但並非所有孩子都會那樣做。

Most kids don't do that, right?

多數孩子不會那樣做吧？

So, what if I wasn't nice after all?

如果我根本不是好人，怎麼辦？

I was really just a hateful monster.

我其實只是可憎的禽獸。

Then I started to notice myself having these mean impulses,

我開始注意到我會有些卑鄙的衝動，

thinking mean thoughts

有卑鄙的想法，

and wanting to say them.

想要把它們說出來。

Admittedly, most of my mean thoughts were about conservatives.

無可否認，我大部分 卑鄙的想法都和保守派有關。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

But not just conservatives.

但不只是保守派。

I also caught myself thinking mean things about mushy, centrist liberals

我也逮到我自己 對其他人有卑鄙的念頭，

像走中間路線的含糊自由派、

and greedy Wall Street bankers

貪婪的華爾街銀行家、

and Islamophobes

恐伊斯蘭教者，

and slow drivers,

以及開車很慢的駕駛，

because I really hate slow drivers.

因為我真的很討厭開車很慢的駕駛。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And as I'd catch myself in these moments of hypocrisy,

當我發現自己身處在 這些偽善時刻中，

either I was just noticing them or they were getting worse,

可能是我剛注意到它們， 或它們正在惡化，

especially in the last few years.

在過去幾年特別常見。

And as I felt more hateful --

當我感到更充滿憎恨——

rageful, really --

其實是充滿怒火——

I noticed the world around me seemed to be getting more hateful, too.

我注意到我周遭的世界 似乎也變得更充滿憎恨。

Like there was this steady undercurrent of hate

好像有一條穩定的仇恨暗流，

bubbling up all around us

在我們四周開始冒泡，

and increasingly overflowing.

並漸漸開始溢出。

So the plus side, I guess,

所以，好的一面，我想是吧，

is that I realized that hate was not just my problem,

就是我了解到，仇恨不只是我的問題，

which is like, the most selfish plus side ever --

這是有史以來最自私的 「好的一面」——

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

because now instead of just my own hate and cruelty to try to figure out,

因為現在我不是只要想通 我自己的仇恨和殘酷是怎麼回事，

I had a whole world of hate I wanted to unravel

我要去搞清楚整個世界的仇恨，

and understand and fix.

去了解它，並修復它。

So I did what all overly intellectual people do when they have a problem

所以，我的做法就是極聰明的人 在遇到他們想要了解的問題時

that they want to understand,

會採用的做法，

and I wrote a book.

我寫了一本書。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I wrote a book about hate.

我寫了一本關於仇恨的書。

Spoiler alert:

以下有雷：

I'm against it.

我反對它。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Now at this point, you might be thinking to yourself,

此時，你們心中可能在想，

"Why are y'all worried about hate?

「為何要擔心仇恨啊？

You didn't hate Vicky.

你又不恨維琪。

Bullying isn't hate."

霸凌並不是仇恨。」

Isn't it?

不是嗎？

Gordon Allport,

高爾頓奧爾波特，

the psychologist who pioneered the study of hate in the early 1900s,

他是心理學家，在九〇年代早期 是仇恨研究的先鋒，

developed what he called a "scale of prejudice."

他發展出了他所謂的「偏見量表」。

At one end are things like genocide and other bias-motivated violence.

量表的一端是像大屠殺 以及其他偏見引起的暴力。

But at the other end

但在另一端，

are things like believing that your in-group

則是相信你的內團體

is inherently superior to some out-group,

本來就比一些外團體更優越，

or avoiding social interaction with those others.

或是避免和那些外人做社交互動。

Isn't that all hate?

那不都是仇恨嗎？

I mean, it wasn't an accident

以下這些都不是意外：

that I was a rich kid picking on a poor kid,

我是個有錢的孩子， 去找窮孩子的麻煩，

or that Vicky, it turns out, would eventually end up being gay.

或結果發現維琪是同性戀。

Poor kids and gay kids are more likely to be bullied,

窮孩子和同性戀孩子 都比較有可能被霸凌，

even by kids who also end up being gay.

甚至連其他同性戀孩子 也會霸凌他們。

I know there was a lot going on in my little 10-year-old mind.

我知道我十歲時 腦袋裡會想很多東西。

I'm not saying hate was the only reason I picked on Vicky

我並不是說仇恨是我會去 找維琪麻煩的唯一理由，

or even that I was consciously hateful or anything,

或甚至我是有意識地在憎恨之類的，

but the fact is,

但事實是，

the people we discriminate against in our public policies and in our culture

我們在公共政策和文化中 所歧視的對象，

are also the groups of people most likely to be bullied in school.

也是在學校中 最有可能被霸凌的族群。

That is not just a coincidence.

那不是巧合。

That's hate.

那是仇恨。

I am defining hate in a broad way

我用廣義的方式來定義仇恨，

because I think we have a big problem.

因為我認為我們有個很大的問題。

And we need to solve all of it, not just the most extremes.

我們得要把它完全解決， 不能只解決極端的部分。

So for instance,

所以，比如，

we probably all agree that marching down the street,

我們可能都認同，在街上遊行，

chanting about you should take away rights from some group of people

反覆喊著應該要奪走 某些族群的權利，

只因為他們的膚色或性別，

because of their skin color or their gender,

我們都認同這就是仇恨，對吧？

we'd all agree that's hate, right? OK.

What if you believe that group of people is inferior,

如果你相信那個族群是低等的，

but you don't say it?

但卻不說出來呢？

Is that hate?

那是仇恨嗎？

Or what if you believe that group of people is inferior

或者，你相信那個族群是低等的，

但你沒意識到你相信這件事呢——

but you aren't aware that you believe it --

what's known as implicit bias.

這就是潛在性偏見。

Is that hate?

那是仇恨嗎？

I mean they all have the same roots, don't they?

它們都有同樣的根源，對吧？

In the historic patterns of racism and sexism

種族主義和性別主義的歷史模式

that have shaped our history and still infect our society today.

形成了我們的歷史， 至今仍會影響我們的社會。

Isn't it all hate?

那不都是仇恨嗎？

I'm not saying they're the same thing,

我並不是說它們是一樣的，

just like I am not saying

就如同我並不是說

身為霸凌者和身為納粹一樣糟糕，

that being a bully is as bad as being a Nazi,

just like I'm not saying that being a Nazi is the same thing as punching a Nazi ...

就如同我並不是說身為納粹 和毆打納粹是一樣的......

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

But hating a Nazi is still hate, right?

但，仇恨納粹也仍然是仇恨，對吧？

What about hating someone who isn't as enlightened as you?

那麼，仇恨不像你 那麼有知識的人呢？

See, what I learned

我所學到的是，

is that we all are against hate

我們都反對仇恨，

and we all think hate is a problem.

我們都認為仇恨是個問題。

We think it's their problem,

我們認為那是他們的問題，

not our problem.

不是我們的問題。

They're hateful.

他們充滿仇恨。

I mean, if I think the people who didn't vote like me

如果我認為投票跟我投不一樣的人

are stupid racist monsters who don't deserve to call themselves Americans,

就是愚蠢的種族主義禽獸， 不值得被稱為美國人，

alright, fine, I'm not being nice,

好啦，我並沒有對人很好，

I get it.

我知道。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I'm not hateful, I'm just right, right?

我並不是充滿憎恨， 我只是對的，對嗎？

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Wrong.

錯。

We all hate.

我們都會仇恨。

And I do not mean that in some abstract, generic sense.

我並不是指在某種抽象、 一般性的意義上。

I mean all of us ...

我指的就是我們所有人……

me and you.

我和你們。

That sanctimonious pedestal of superiority on which we all place ourselves,

我們把自己放在虛假的 聖潔優越地位上，

that they are hateful and we are not,

我們都覺得別人充滿 憎恨，而我們沒有，

is a manifestation of the essential root of hate:

那就是仇恨基本根源的 一種表現形式：

that we are fundamentally good and they are not,

根本上，我們是好的，他們不是，

which is what needs to change.

這點是需要改變的。

So in trying to understand and solve hate,

為了試圖了解和解決仇恨，

I read every book and every research study I could find,

所有我能找到的書籍 和學術研究我都讀過了，

but I also went and talked to some former Nazis

我還去和一些前納粹、

and some former terrorists

前恐怖分子，

and some former genocidal killers,

以及前種族大屠殺兇手談過，

because I figured if they could figure out how to escape hate,

因為我認為，如果他們 能想出要如何脫離仇恨，

surely the rest of us could.

我們其他人一定也可以。

Let me give you just one example of the former terrorist I spent time with

讓我舉個前恐怖分子的例子，

in the West Bank.

我到約旦河西岸地區 花了些時間和他相處。

When Bassam Aramin was 16 years old,

巴薩姆阿拉米十六歲的時候，

he tried to blow up an Israeli military convoy with a grenade.

試圖用一顆手榴彈炸死 以色列的軍事護送部隊。

He failed, fortunately,

幸運的是，他失敗了，

but he was still sentenced to seven years in prison.

但他仍然被判刑七年徒刑。

When he was in prison, they showed a film about the Holocaust.

他在監獄中時，他們放了部 猶太人大屠殺的影片。

Up until that point,

在那之前，

Bassam had thought the Holocaust was mostly a myth.

巴薩姆一直都以為 大屠殺大部分是虛構的。

He went to go watch the film

他去看了那部影片，

because he thought he would enjoy seeing Jews get killed.

因為他以為他會 享受看猶太人被殺。

But when he saw what really happened, he broke down crying.

但當他看到真正發生的 狀況時，他崩潰大哭。

And eventually, after prison,

最終，服完刑之後，

Bassam went on to get a master's degree in Holocaust studies

巴薩姆取得了 大屠殺研究的碩士學位，

and he founded an organization where former Palestinian combatants

他找到了一個組織， 在那裡，前巴勒斯坦戰士

and Israeli combatants come together,

以及以色列戰士能一起相處，

work together, try to find common ground.

一起努力，試著找到共通點。

By his own account, Bassam used to hate Israelis,

因為自身利益，巴薩姆 以前很仇視以色列人，

but through knowing Israelis and learning their stories

但透過了解以色列人 和了解他們的故事，

and working together for peace,

一起努力尋求和平，

he overcame his hate.

他克服了他的仇恨。

Bassam says he still doesn't hate Israelis,

巴薩姆說，他仍然不會恨以色列人，

even after the Israeli military --

即使以色列軍隊

shot and killed his [10]-year-old daughter, Abir,

射殺了他的十歲女兒艾碧兒，

while she was walking to school.

當時她正步行去上學。

(Sigh)

（嘆氣）

Bassam even forgave the soldier who killed his daughter.

巴薩姆甚至原諒了 殺害他女兒的士兵。

That soldier, he taught me,

他告訴我，那個士兵

was just a product of the same hateful system as he was.

和他一樣只是同樣 仇恨體制之下的產物。

If a former terrorist ...

如果一位前恐怖分子……

if a terrorist can learn to stop hating

如果一位恐怖分子能學會停止仇恨，

and still not hate when their child is killed,

且在孩子被殺害之後還能不去仇恨，

surely the rest of us can stop our habits

我們其他人當然也能夠 停止我們去貶低彼此、

of demeaning and dehumanizing each other.

不把彼此當人看待的習性。

And I will tell you there are stories like Bassam's all over the world,

我可以告訴各位，世界各地 都有巴薩姆這樣的故事，

plus study after study after study

還有一篇又一篇又一篇的研究

that says, no, we are neither designed nor destined as human beings to hate,

指出我們並不是先天就會仇恨， 或注定要仇恨的人類，

but rather taught to hate by the world around us.

我們是被周遭世界教導要去仇恨的。

I promise you,

我向各位保證，

none of us pops out of the womb hating black people or Republicans.

沒有人一出了子宮 就仇恨黑人或共和黨的。

There is nothing in our DNA that makes us hate Muslims or Mexicans.

我們的 DNA 中沒有任何對 穆斯林或墨西哥人的仇恨。

For better or for worse,

不論如何，

we are all a product of the culture around us.

我們都是我們周遭文化下的產物。

And the good news is,

好消息是，

we're also the ones who shape that culture,

我們也是形塑文化的人，

which means we can change it.

這就表示我們能改變它。

The first step is starting to recognize the hate inside ourselves.

第一步，是要開始承認 我們自己內在的仇恨。

We need to catch ourselves

我們得要能逮住我們自己

and our hateful thoughts in all their forms

和我們的仇恨想法， 不論是什麼樣的形式，

in all of us ...

不論在誰身上……

and work to challenge our ideas and assumptions.

並努力去挑戰我們的想法和假設。

That doesn't happen overnight,

那不會一夕就成真，

I am telling you right here,

我在這裡告訴各位，

it is a lifelong journey, but it's one we all need to take.

這是一生的旅途， 但我們必須要踏上這段旅途。

And then second:

接著，第二點：

if we want to challenge the hate in our societies,

如果我們想挑戰我們社會中的仇恨，

we need to promote policies and institutions and practices

我們得要推動政策、 制度，及實際做法，

that connect us as communities.

來將我們連結成共同體。

Literally, like integrated neighborhoods and schools.

不誇張，就像是融合街坊以及學校。

That by the way is the reason to support integration.

順道一提，那就是支持融合的理由。

Not just because it's the right thing to do,

並不只是因為那是對的、該做的事，

but because integration systematically combats hate.

也因為系統性的融合能夠對抗仇恨。

There are studies that teenagers who participate

有研究指出，青少年如果參與

in racially integrated classes and activities reduce their racial bias.

種族融合的班級和活動， 他們的種族偏見就會比較低。

And when little kids go to racially integrated kindergartens

當小朋友去就讀多種族融合的幼稚園

and elementary schools --

以及小學，

they develop less bias to begin with.

他們一開始會發展出的 偏見就比較少。

But the fact is in so many ways and in so many places around our world,

但事實是，在世界上許多地方， 我們以許多方式

we are separated from each other.

在把彼此分離。

In the United States, for instance,

比如，在美國，

three-quarters of white people don't have any non-white friends.

四分之三的白人 沒有任何非白人朋友。

So in addition to promoting those proactive solutions,

所以，除了推動那些 主動的解決方案之外，

the other thing we need to do is upend the hate in our institutions

我們還需要做一件事， 就是顛覆在我們的制度

and our policies

及政策中的仇恨，

that perpetuate dehumanization and difference

那些仇恨會讓「去人性化」、 差異、「他人化」，

and otherizing and hate,

及仇恨，都永遠存在，

like systems of sexual harassment and sexual assault in the workplace,

就像工作場合性騷擾 以及性侵犯的體制，

or our deeply racially imbalanced

或我們那個在種族上極不平衡，

and deeply racially biased criminal "justice" system.

且有極度種族偏見的刑事「司法」 （與「正義」同字）系統。

We need to change that.

我們得要改變這一點。

Again, it will not happen overnight.

同樣的，這也不會一夕成真。

It needs to happen.

但必須要成真。

And then ...

接著……

when we connect together

當我們連結在一起，

in these connection spaces,

在這些連結空間中，

facilitated by connection systems,

背後有連結體制的促動，

we need to change the way we talk to each other

我們得要改變， 用不同的方式對彼此說話、

and connect with one another

和彼此連結、

and relate with generosity and open-mindedness

去做到寬宏大量、開放心胸、

and kindness and compassion

仁慈，以及同理心，

and not hate.

而非仇恨。

And that's it.

就這樣。

That's it.

就這樣。

(Applause)

（掌聲）

I have solved it all, right?

我把問題全解決了，對吧？

That's it.

就這樣。

That is pretty much --

大致上就這樣——

there's a few details --

還有少數細節——

but that's pretty much all we have to do.

但我們要做的大致上就這樣。

It's not that complicated, right?

沒有那麼複雜，對吧？

But it's hard.

但很困難。

The hate that we feel towards certain groups of people

我們會針對某些族群感受到仇恨，

because of who they are or what they believe

是因為他們的身分或他們的信仰，

is so ingrained in our minds and in our society

這種仇恨在我們的心中 和社會中根深蒂固，

that it can feel inevitable

以致於感覺起來

and impossible to change.

改變是無可避免且不可能的。

Change is possible.

改變是可能的。

Just look at the terrorist who became a peace activist.

只要看看變成 和平活動家的恐怖分子。

Or look at the bully who learned to apologize to her victim.

或看看學會向其受害者 道歉的霸凌者。

The entire time I was traveling around the Middle East and Rwanda

當我在中東、盧安達， 及美國各地旅行的

and across the United States,

這段時間，

hearing these unbelievable stories of people in communities

聽到這些難以置信的故事， 訴說結成共同體的人們

who had left entire histories of hate behind,

把整個仇恨歷史都拋諸腦後，

I was still looking for Vicky.

我還一直在尋找維琪。

It was so hard find her that I hired a private investigator

要找到她好難， 所以我僱用了私家偵探，

and he found her.

他找到她了。

I mean, he sort of found her.

他算是找到她了。

The truth is, it became clear that the person I'm calling Vicky

事實是，我稱為維琪的這個人，

had gone to extraordinary lengths to hide her identity.

非常不遺餘力地去隱藏她的身分。

But anyway, a year after I began my journey,

但，總之，我開始 我的旅程之後一年，

I wrote Vicky an apology.

我寫了封道歉信給維琪。

And a few months later,

幾個月後，

she wrote back.

她回信了。

(Sigh)

（嘆氣）

I'm not going to lie,

我不會說謊，

I wanted to be forgiven.

我想要得到原諒。

I wasn't.

我沒得到。

(Sigh)

（嘆氣）

She offered me sort of conditional forgiveness.

她給了我某種條件式的原諒。

What she wrote was ...

她寫的是……

"Messages such as yours cannot absolve you of your past actions.

「像你寫的這種訊息，無法 讓你免受過去行為的責難。

The only way to do that is to improve the world,

只有一個方法能， 就是去改善這個世界，

prevent others from behaving in similar ways

避免他人再做出類似的事，

and foster compassion."

並培養同理心。」

And Vicky's right.

維琪是對的。

Which is why I'm here.

這就是為什麼我在這裡。

Thank you.

謝謝。

(Applause)

（掌聲）