Your 3-Step Guide to Setting Better Boundaries at Work | The Way We Work, a TED series

I'm a therapist whose job it is to help people create healthier relationships.

譯者: 麗玲 辛 審譯者: Helen Chang

我是一位心理治療師， 以幫人建立更健康的關係為業。

And let me tell you,

容我跟你說，

it can be really hard to tell someone what you need.

告訴別人自己的需求真的很難。

It takes a lot of courage to stand up and say,

我們需要很大勇氣，才能站出來說：

"This is the way I want to be treated."

「我希望你這樣對待我。」

Most of us aren't so great at vocalizing to the people in our lives

我們大多不擅長告訴身邊的人

what makes us feel respected and valued.

怎樣使我們感受到尊重和重視。

It's true with friends, family, partners, and it's also true at work.

對朋友、家人、伴侶如此， 在職場也是如此。

You've got to set healthy boundaries.

你必須設定健康的界限。

[The Way We Work]

[工作之道]

Boundaries can be an intimidating term,

界限這個術語可能令人生畏，

but they're very simply the expectations and needs that help us feel safe

但界限指的只是我們的期望和需求，

幫助我們在人際關係中 感到安心和自在。

and comfortable in relationships.

Work is the relationship we spend the most time in,

職場是我們投入最多時間的場域，

and yet it's also the place where we have the hardest time setting limits.

但也是我們最難設定界限的地方。

We're scared that people won't see us as a team player.

我們擔心別人會覺得 我們沒有團隊合作精神。

Our employers have boundaries built in,

老闆們有固有的界限，

like the time your workday begins

比如開始上班的時間

and how many vacation days you can have.

和員工可以有多少天的休假。

But work boundaries need to be a two-way street:

但職場界限應該是雙向的：

boundaries for your employer and boundaries for you.

老闆的界限和你的界限。

Setting them can help you feel happier

設立界限可以幫助你

在工作中感到更快樂和更充實，

and more fulfilled in your roles,

not to mention less exhausted and overwhelmed at work.

當然，也較不會精疲力竭、不知所措。

We often assume that other people have the same rules for life as we do.

我們常以為其他人 跟我們有同樣的生活規則。

We think they can tell our preferences

我們認為他們知道我們的喜好，

and know our feelings from our body language.

並可從我們的肢體語言 了解我們的感受。

But no one, not the people you've known for years

但是沒有人，包括你認識多年的人，

and certainly not your coworkers, can read your mind.

你的同事當然也不能，看出你的心思。

You have to explicitly state what you need.

你必須明確說明你的需求。

Communicating what works for us is one of the kindest things we can do.

溝通適合彼此的方式是 我們能做的最體貼的事之一。

The short-term discomfort is so worth it

短暫的為難是很值得的，

for the long-term ease of having healthier boundaries in the workplace.

因為我們就能長期輕鬆地 擁有更健康的職場界限。

Here are three steps to help you get started.

以下是幫助你入門的三個步驟。

Step one: identify the boundaries you need to set.

第一步：確認你需要設定的界限。

There are so many different kinds.

界限有很多不同的種類。

For example,

例如，

you can tell a colleague what hours you are and aren't available to work.

你可以告訴同事,　你什麼時候 可以上班，什麼時候不能。

You can share that you need to leave the office promptly at five

你可以吐露你需要 在五點準時離開辦公室

to pick up your children

去接你的孩子，

or that you log off fully on the weekends to really recharge.

或者你會在週末完全不上網 以得到充份休息。

You can tell them how you prefer to communicate,

你可以告訴他們 你偏好用什麼方式交流，

that you enjoy talking by phone rather than instant messaging or texting.

如你喜歡用電話交談 而不是傳即時訊息或簡訊。

Especially with your bosses,

尤其跟你的老闆，

you can set boundaries around how you like feedback.

針對想要甚麽樣的反饋， 你可以設定界限。

You can say, "I work best with clear deadlines.

你可以說：「有明確期限的話， 我的工作效率最好。

Can you please set one?"

您能設定個日期嗎？」

Or you can tell them you like written notes on your work

或者你可以告訴老板， 你喜歡交代的事項寫成文字，

so you have time to digest the feedback.

這樣你就有時間消化他的反饋。

You can set boundaries on how you interact with people socially.

你可以為社交互動的方式設定界限。

For example,

例如，

“It makes me feel uncomfortable when you share gossip at my desk.”

「我不喜歡你在我辦公桌旁講八卦。」

Or “No, I’m not interested in drinks after work,

或者，「下班後我對喝酒不感興趣，

but I'd love to go to a yoga class with you."

但我會很喜歡和你一起去上瑜伽課。」

You can even set boundaries around your calendar

你甚至可以在日程安排上設置界限，

and ask that people ask you before throwing a meeting on it

並請同事在召開會議之前問你一下，

as you prefer to be aware of what your day looks like.

因為你希望清楚自己整天的安排。

Step two: think about how and when to make the statement.

第二步：考慮如何及何時提出界限。

Boundaries are like classroom rules.

界限就像課堂規則。

You want to set them as early as possible.

儘早設置比較好。

People do it all the time in the job seeking process.

人們在求職過程中都會這樣做。

They may say something like, “I have vacation planned for these dates.

他們可能會說： 「我已經為這些日期安排了度假。

Will I be able to take my vacation?"

我可以休假嗎？」

If we can go into a new work environment

如果我們進入一個新的工作環境，

and with people already knowing what we can and can't do,

大家已經清楚 我們能做什麼、不能做什麼，

that's a beautiful way to show up.

那會是個很好的出場方式。

If that feels like too much,

如果這感覺太難，

orientation can be a great time to set boundaries.

培訓期會是設定界限的好時機。

When your supervisor tells you the workday ends at six, just flow it in.

當你的主管告訴你上班時間 到六點時，直接說出來：

"That's perfect. I need to leave work at six."

「太好了。我需要在六點下班。」

One boundary I want you to set right away

我希望你立即設定的一個界限是

is to take every single day of paid vacation.

休完每一天的帶薪假。

You’ve earned it, you need the rest,

你應得的，你需要休息，

and recharging is good for work-life balance.

休假有利於工作與生活的平衡。

And by the way, it's perfectly acceptable to set boundaries for yourself

順便提一下，當你注意到上班時 某些事情讓你感覺不舒服，

when you notice something in the workday isn't making you feel good.

你完全可以設定自己的界限。

So if you get a headache when you have five meetings in a day,

因此，如果一天開五次會議讓你頭痛，

tell yourself that four will be your maximum.

請告訴自己，四次會議是上限。

If you get anxious

如果你在週一早上要回 200 封 電子郵件時感到焦慮，

trying to respond to 200 emails on Monday morning,

don't do that first thing.

那麼先不要做這件事。

Break it up in half-hour increments throughout the day.

把這任務切成半小時分次在全天做完。

I have a set of boundaries around my work.

我有一套工作的界限。

For me, I like working in 30-minute chunks.

我喜歡以三十分鐘為單位進行工作。

I don't like answering every email as soon as I get it.

我不喜歡一收到電子郵件就回覆。

I like sitting with the information before I respond.

我喜歡放一下想想再回應。

You have to set in motion those new habits

你必須開始執行那些 會讓你感到自在的新習慣和做法。

and practices that will make you feel at ease.

And now comes the most important part of the process.

接著是三步驟中最重要的部分。

Step three: you have to stick to the boundaries you set.

第三步：你必須堅守你設定的界限。

If you say you're not available after six,

如果你說你六點以後沒空，

don't respond to the group chat.

就不要回覆群組訊息。

If you say you're not available on weekends,

如果你說你週末沒空，

don't be available on weekends.

你週末就是沒空。

When you respond to emails

如果你在界限時間外 回覆信件或同意看某個提案，

or agree to look at that proposal out of those bounds,

you're teaching people that the boundary isn't real,

你就是在告訴人們界限是假的，

that it’s OK to violate it.

可以不管它。

Consistency is really key here.

在這點，一致性真的很重要。

That might mean restating the boundary more than once.

這可能意味著你要不止一次重申界限。

That might mean reminding yourself

這也代表你要提醒自己

why you set the boundary in the first place.

當初設定界限的原因。

Setting boundaries is hard at first, but the more you do it,

設定界限一開始很難，

但你越常這麼做，就越容易。

the easier it gets.

Boundaries are contagious.

界限有感染力。

Once you start to consistently implement them, others will, too.

一旦你開始貫徹執行界限， 其他人也會。

You might be the inspiration that helps them set better boundaries.

你可能啟發他們設定更好的界限。

Even if they don't have the courage right now,

即使他們現在沒有勇氣，

it's now in the back of their mind.

但這概念也存在他們的腦海裡了。