Keith Bellows: Celebrating the camel

翻译人员: Mavis CHEN 校对人员: Qian Yue

[SHIT]

屎

This is arguably the back end of the design of animals.

这个可以说是动物的最终产品。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

But the reason I put this up here is because

我之所以把它放在这里是因为

when I was in Africa last year, my wife and I were driving around,

当我去年和妻子在非洲溜达的时候，

we had this wonderful guide,

我们遇见了一个很有趣的导游，

who showed us something that surprised both of us,

他展示了使我们都为之惊异的东西，

and it was very revealing in terms of the fascination

揭示了这来自‘动物的创造物’

that comes with the design of animals.

的魅力

It turns out that in about the 1880s, the missionaries came to Africa

大约在19世纪80年代，传教士来到非洲，

to spread the word of Christianity,

宣传基督教，

to teach English to the natives.

教当地人英语。

And they brought blackboards and chalk.

他们带去了黑板和粉笔。

可以想象一下，这就是一块黑板，

And I'd like you to imagine that that's a blackboard,

而我刚刚则在上面使用了粉笔。

and I just used some chalk on there.

And they brought quite a bit of this stuff.

带去的就是类似这样的东西。

经过多年，黑板都还完好

But over the years, the blackboards were fine,

but they ran out of chalk.

但是他们没有粉笔了。

And this is a real crisis for them.

对他们来说，这实在是一个危机啊。

And that's where the hyena comes in.

正在这时，鬣狗起作用了。

The hyena is probably the most perfectly designed

鬣狗可能是世界上腐肉动物中

scavenging animal in the world.

最完美的设计了。

It strip-mines carcasses, and it has amazing teeth,

他们嚼食尸体残骸，他们那惊人的牙齿

because it enables the hyena to essentially eat bones.

使他们可以嚼食骨头。

Now, the end product of that action is up on the board here.

现在，上述行为最终产物就在这板上了。

What the missionaries would do is, they'd walk around

而传教士们呢，则会到到处走走，

然后捡起鬣狗的粪便。

and they'd pick up hyena shit.

And the incredible thing about hyena shit is, it makes great chalk.

而鬣狗粪便的最美妙之处在于：它们能造出很好的粉笔。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

That's not what I'm here to talk about,

但我却不是来说这个的，

but it is a fascinating aspect of animal design.

不过这的确是“动物产品”一个很让人着迷的方面。

What I'm here to talk about is the camel.

我来，是要谈论骆驼的。

When I started talking to Richard

当我和理查德说起

about what I was going to speak about,

我将要介绍的东西时，

I had recently come back from Jordan,

我刚从约旦回来，

where I had an amazing experience with a camel.

在那里我和一头骆驼有了一段奇妙的经验。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

And we were in the desert.

我们当时在沙漠里——

Richard Wurman: That's the end! Keith Bellows: Yeah, yeah.

里查德·沃曼：今天的演讲就到这里！

Keith Bellows：好，好

We were in the desert, in Wadi Rum, in a small Jeep.

我们正在沙漠里，在月亮峡谷，一辆小吉普车上，

There were four of us, two Bedouin drivers.

当时有4个人，两个贝多因司机

You can just imagine, this expanse is an ocean of sand,

你可以想象，这广阔的沙的海洋：

105 degrees, one water bottle.

105度，只有一瓶水。

And we were driving in what they told us was their very, very best Jeep.

而我们正驾驶着他们所谓的

最最好的吉普车。当然我不这么觉得。

Didn't look like it to me.

And as we started to go through the desert,

当我们开始准备穿越沙漠时，吉普车发生故障了，

the Jeep broke down.

The guys got out, they put the hood up,

他们支起铁箍

they started working under the hood, got it going again.

开始修理，

About a hundred yards, it broke down.

在让吉普又行驶了100码之后，车再次坏了

This went on about 6-7 times, we were getting more and more alarmed,

这一过程重复发生了六七次。

我们变得越来越慌，

we were also getting deeper and deeper into the desert.

我们也进入沙漠也越来越深。

And eventually, our worst nightmare happened:

最终，最可怕的恶梦发生了：

they flooded the engine.

引擎熄火了。

And they said, "Ah, no problem! We just get out and walk."

于是他们说：“啊，没关系！我们可以下车步行。”

And we said, "We get out and walk?"

然后我们说：“我们下车步行？”

One water bottle, remember, guys, four people.

只有一瓶水——同志们啊——有四张嘴。

And they said, "Yeah, yeah, we'll walk. We'll find some camels."

他们说：“是的是的，我们步行吧。我们会找到一些骆驼的。”

We got out and walked, and sure enough,

于是，我们下了车步行，果然，

about half a mile, we came over the crest of this hill,

大概半英里，我们来到了山顶，

and there was a huge gathering of Bedouin with their camels.

那里有一大群贝多因人还有他们的骆驼。

The guy went up and started dickering,

他们前去交易，

and 10 dollars later, we had four camels.

付了10美元， 换来4头骆驼。

They went down like elevators; we got on them.

骆驼们像升降机一样降低，我们骑上去，它们再升上去。

They went back up, and the Bedouin, each Bedouin, four of them,

然后这4个贝多因人，每个都，

got behind each of the camels with a little whip.

在骆驼后面装了小鞭子。

And they started slashing away at the back of the camels,

然后他们开始鞭打骆驼后面，

and they started galloping.

骆驼们就开始飞奔了。

And if you've ever been on a camel, it is a very, very uncomfortable ride.

如果你曾骑过一头骆驼，

就会知道那有多不舒服了。

There's also one other aspect about these camels.

关于这些骆驼的另一点就是，

About every 10 steps, they lean back

差不多每走10步，它们就向后倾斜，

and try to take a chunk out of your leg.

试图从你腿上除去一大块肉。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

So we kept on going,

我们继续前行，

and this camel kept on trying to take a chunk out of my leg.

这骆驼也继续努力试图去掉我腿上的肉。

And eventually, three miles later, we arrived at our destination,

最终，走了3英里后，我们到达了目的地，

where a Jeep was supposed to meet us.

一辆吉普车在那里接我们。

And the camels come down again like elevators,

于是这些骆驼又像升降机一样下降，

we sort of clumsily get off,

我们笨拙地下来，

and they, obviously, try to take another chunk out of my leg.

而他们，很显然，又尝试从我腿上除去另外一块肉。

And I've developed a very wonderful relationship

到此时，我已经和这个生物建立了

with this creature by this point,

一段美妙的关系。

and I've realized that this is a mean son of a bitch.

我意识到，它真不是什么好东西，

And much meaner, by the way, than the Bedouin who greeted me

而且比那个迎接我的贝多因人还要难相处，

and tried to sell me one of his 26 daughters

那个想把他26个女儿之一嫁给我，

to take back to the States.

并把她带回美国的人。

So as we talked, Richard and I,

正当我们——理查德和我，交谈时，

I said, "You know, maybe I should bring a camel.

我说：“也许我该带回来一头骆驼，

It's the best designed animal in the world."

我觉得它是世界上动物界中最完美的设计。“

He went, "Nah. I don't think we want to be bringing a camel."

然后他回应道：“不，我不觉得人们希望这么做。”

And you should be really glad we decided not to bring the camel.

你们真该感谢我决定不把骆驼带过来，

So I did the next best thing.

我做了接下来要说的这件好事。

I went to the Washington Zoo.

我去了华盛顿动物园。理查德说：

Richard said, "I want you to get up close and personal with this camel.

“我希望你可以近距离接触这头骆驼。

I want you to inspect its mouth, look at its teeth.

我希望你观察它的嘴，它的牙齿。

Go underneath it. Go above it. Go around it.

看它的上面、下面，绕着它走。

Pull its tail up; take a look in there.

拉起尾巴，看看里面

I want you to get as close to that camel as you possibly can."

我希望你可以尽你所能地接近它。“

So, I got a National Geographic film crew.

所以我找来国家地理摄影组，我们去到那里，

We went down there, and I took one look at this camel.

看了看这头骆驼。

It is a 2,000 pound creature who is in rut.

这是一头2000磅的骆驼，它正在发情期。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Now, if you've ever seen a 2,000 pound camel in rut,

如果你曾经看到过一头处在发情期又重2000磅的骆驼，

it is a scary, scary thing to behold.

你就知道这有多恐怖了。

And if Richard thought I was getting in the ring with that camel,

如果理查德认为我想和那骆驼搭上关系，

someone was smoking Bedouin high grade.

那有人就要在贝多因狠狠抽烟了。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

So we got as close to it as possible,

所以我们努力接近它，

and I'm going to share this.

接下来我要和你们分享这段。克里斯，请播放视频

Chris, if you want to roll this film.

Then I'm going to show you

下面我会更多地向你们展示

a little bit more about the design of camels.

骆驼的设计。

Do you want to roll the film?

请放

(Adventure music)

(Video) Hello. This is Keith Bellows

with the TED National Geographic Camel Investigation Unit.

嗨，我是 Keith Bellows， 正和国家地理调查组在一起。

I'm here to look at the ultimate desert machine.

我是来这看看终极沙漠机器的。

(Music continues)

Keith Bellows: And you'll note I started chewing gum

because I was around this camel all day.

你们可以发现我开始嚼口香糖，

(Video) That's it, OK. No!

因为我已经呆在这骆驼边上一整天了。

See, now he's getting a little overexcited.

专职饲养员：就是这样！不！看，它现在有点亢奋了。

So we'll need to be very careful around him. Don't let him get you.

所以我们在它边上时必须非常小心。千万别让它废掉你。

Now, you can see copious amounts of saliva in there.

现在你可以看到它嘴里有大量的唾液。

I always called myself the unstable stable boy.

我称自己“不安分的稳健牛仔”

Their nose, you can see his nose is flared right now.

它们的鼻子——你可以看到它的鼻孔张开。

它们发情的时候，很像海豹

When they're in rut, they're similar to seals

海豹需要张开鼻孔呼吸，在这方面

in the way, like, a seal has to open its nose to breathe.

And they're similar. They have to consciously open their nose.

它们是相似的。它们有意识地张开鼻孔。

KB: Ears?

至于耳朵？耳朵很小。不过它们听力很好。

SK: They are small. But they have excellent hearing.

But not big; for instance, in zebras, they have a huge ear

耳朵算不上大，举例来说，斑马的耳朵很大。

非常灵活，所以可以转动

that's very mobile, so they can actually turn them both around.

And they use them in the same way we use our binocular vision.

它们就像我们用眼睛一样用耳朵

They use that to pinpoint sound.

所以它们可以用耳朵定位声音来源

The desert's extremely windy as well as being very cold.

沙漠风沙很大，也很寒冷。

所以它们不只有长睫毛和

So not only do they have the very long eyelashes,

还有双重，随便你叫它什么了（应该是双重眼睑）

but there's the secondary --

I guess you'd call it the [unclear] or whatever.

It's this hair that's above the eyes, and below it, it's longer.

就是眼睛上部的毛，还有下部的毛，更长些

Most people think that the humps store water.

很多人认为驼峰是储水的

They don't. They store fat.

其实不是的，它们是储存脂肪的。

Now, I'm not a chemist, but basically what happens

虽然我不是化学家，不过基本上原理就是

is the fat is oxidized by their breathing.

储存的脂肪通过呼吸被氧化

从而产生可用的水分。

And that will turn it into actually usable water.

Like a lot of predators, they walk on their toes.

像很多食肉动物一样，它们用脚走路

不过脚下有肉垫，

But there's a big fat pad in there that squishes out.

They're like sun shoes, but, you know, with sand.

就像太阳鞋（一种品牌沙滩凉鞋）。

蹄？它们没有传统的蹄，

Hooves? They don't have traditional hooves,

but they do have one, like, big nail.

不过有一个大蹄甲。

(Audience laughter)

You can't really see too clear. The fur's kind of grown over.

你看不太清楚，因为毛遮住了。

But they use their tails a lot, especially in rut.

不过它们常用到尾巴，特别是在发情的时候。

它会撒尿然后旋转它的尾巴

He will urinate and spin his tail to spread the urine around

将尿到处撒

and make him more attractive.

这会让它更有吸引力。

I don't know why that would be, but it works for them.

我是不知道为什么会那样，不过对他们来说是有效的，

So, what the hell.

所以，管它呢。

(Audience laughter)

Now, they will also defecate in certain areas.

它们会在某些地方排便

一般情况下，它们在任何它们想的地方排，

Generally, they poop wherever they want to,

不过在发情期，它们会在周边区域内排便。

but during their rut, they will defecate in perimeter areas.

不知道你有没有听说过大象的亚音

I don't know if you've read or heard about the sub-sonic sounds from elephants,

you know what I mean, like, "Br-r-r!"

知道我在说啥吧，像 “Brr-r-r！”一样的

These big, big rumbling sounds. He will do the same thing.

巨大的隆隆声。它会做一样的事情。

You can actually see, right here, it will vibrate.

实际上，你可以看到，就在这里，它会震动。

我们会替动物称重。

We weigh our animals.

Unfortunately, he's a very aggressive animal,

不幸的是，它很有攻击性。

so he's actually destroyed some of the scales.

所以它已经毁了几个秤了。

We had these big things that I weigh the bison on, for instance.

我们有这种专用巨型体重秤，用来对付好比野牛这样的大家伙。

I'm guessing that he's at least 1,600 pounds.

我猜这这头骆驼至少有1600磅重。

But I would put him closer to 2,000.

可能接近2000磅了。

He's basically a walking mulch pile.

它实际上就是一个行走的松土机。

We're kind of like buds, but I'm also a male as well.

我们都挺喜欢花苞的，虽然我和它都是雄性

KB: He sees you as competition? Senior Keeper: Yeah, exactly.

And it makes him very dangerous at this time of year.

这让它在每年这个时候变得危险。

Don't even think about it. Don't think about it!

不要想，想都不要想！

现在，我们将要见面，外面

But now, we're going to meet. Out!

Out! Out!

外面！

不

No.

Out!

外面！

(Music)

(Applause)

（掌声）

KB: What I didn't show you was, you got that swinging thing going?

我没给你们看的是——记得那个旋转的尾巴么？

Well, and you're glad I didn't show you this.

你们会庆幸我没给你们看的。

One of the other things about the camel's beautiful design

另一项有关于骆驼的美好设计就是

is that its penis points backwards.

它的阴茎是向后的。

That way the camel can dip its tail in the stream,

所以它可以用尾巴蘸精液

and just whacker the entire area around him.

然后重击它周围的整个区域。

And that's how he really marks his territory.

那也是它标记它领土的方式。

Now, what you also didn't see was that --

同样你也没看见的是——

and you may have noticed in the pen beside him

你可能已经注意到在它边上的围栏——

and, by the way, the camel's name is Suki.

顺道一提，这骆驼叫Suki

In the pen beside him is Jasmine.

在它边上围栏里的那头叫Jasmine。

Jasmine has been his mate for some time.

Jasmine 是它的母亲。

But on this particular occasion, it was very, very clear

不过在这个特殊时刻，很明显地，

that as horny as Suki was, Jasmine was having none of it.

像Suki这么饥渴的

And so we started thinking.

我们开始思考，

Well, if poor old Suki is in search of a mate,

如果可怜的Suki正在寻找配偶，

what would Suki do to find the perfect mate?

为了找到一个合适的配偶，它会做什么呢？

I'm going to show you another film.

所以我接下来要给你们看另一段视频。

But before I do, I just want to mention

播放之前，我想要提一下，

that this animal truly is a sort of the SUV of the sand,

它实在是某种程度上的沙上的SUV；

the ship of the desert.

沙漠之舟。它对那些地方的居民实在是

It's so vital to the inhabitants of the areas

in which the camel is found, largely Mongolia and Sahara,

非常重要（大部分在蒙古和撒哈拉沙漠）

that there are 160 words in Arabic to describe the camel.

以至于，阿拉伯语有160种对骆驼的称呼。

And if this is a creature that was designed by committee,

如果这种生物是某委员会设计的，

it's certainly been like no committee I've ever been on.

我肯定没有参与过那个委员会。

So here's what Suki would do in search of a mate.

Suki在寻找配偶时，是这样做的：

放片，谢谢~

Can you roll it, please?

Camel seeking camel

本骆驼正在找寻另一半的它

Lusty beast desires attractive and sincere mate.

精力充沛的我期待着迷人而真诚的她

I'm seven feet, 2,000 lbs., with brown hair and eyes, long legs --

俺高7英尺，重2000磅，拥有棕色的毛发，修长的四肢……

而且，俺有巨根！

and I'm very well ... hung.

I'm TED Camel.

我就是TED骆驼

The perfect desert machine.

沙漠中的利器

I'm smartly designed.

俺就是睿智设计的体现

Eyelashes that keep out sand

又长又厚的睫毛就像雨刷，

and a third eyelash that works like a windshield wiper.

阻挡了风沙

A distinguished nose --

一个与众不同的鼻子……

with nostrils lined to filter out sand and dust

搭配过滤沙尘的鼻孔……

还有专门储水的水囊（胃）

and a groove that catches moisture.

Amazingly full lips --

性感厚唇……

that allow me to eat practically anything that grows.

使俺可以吃任何植物。

Callouses on my knees that let me kneel comfortably.

俺有坚硬的膝盖，即使跪低都很舒服。

Leathery chest pads that beat the heat.

强韧的胸垫抵御酷热。

Short fur that keeps my skin cool.

短毛使我保持冷静

Long legs that allow heat to escape.

长腿驱散炎热

And my hump?

我的驼峰？

Ogden Nash once wrote:

奥尔登.纳什（美国诗人）曾这么写道：

"The camel has a single hump; the dromedary two,

“骆驼有一个驼峰，单峰驼两个

or else the other way around. I'm never sure. Are you?"

或者双峰驼一个？我一直无法搞清，你呢？

给你点提示：

Here's a hint:

Bactarian.

（？）

Dromedary.

单峰骆驼

My hump contains up to 80 lbs. of fat, but doesn't store H2O.

我的驼峰可以储存80磅脂肪，不是水哦

I'm built to last.

我耐力强

I'm the go-to animal when the oasis is dry.

当绿洲干枯，我就是救星

I usually won't sweat until my body reaches 105 ºF,

不到105华氏度我就不流汗

enough to fry an egg.

那温度都可以煎蛋了

I'm able to lose 40% of my weight without dying.

即使是减重40%

我依旧顽强地活着

(Most animals would if they lost half that much.)

大部分动物就算光是做到我一半的程度就挂了

I'll drink 5 to 7 gallons of water a day.

我一天可以饮5到7加仑水

But go without for more than a month.

接下来一个多月不再喝都可以

I'm powerful.

我是强大的！

Able to pack up to 400 lbs. of cargo.

可以负重400磅

的货物

Outrun a horse --

跑得比马快……

And cover 26 miles on a good day.

状态好时日行26英里

[此图为杰奎琳，美国的媒体经常把肯尼迪担任总统的时期比作Camelot（其妻杰奎琳可能是第一个这样比喻的）]

Camelot.

Jackie O. once said that traveling by camel

杰奎琳 曾这样说：骑着骆驼行走

made riding an elephant seem like taking a jet plane.

会让人觉得骑大象就像坐喷气飞机。

Yet my large, soft feet allow me to navigate sand.

但我巨大而柔软的足，使我可以在沙中行走

(Is that why the Bedouin claim I can dance?)

可能那就是为啥贝多因人称我可以跳舞了吧？

I'm a good provider, too.

我还是一个很好的供应者

Bedouins call the camel the Gift of God.

贝多因人称我们为上帝的礼物。

不必惊奇

No surprise.

Tents and rugs are made of my hair.

我的毛可以做帐篷和地毯

My dried bones are prized as a sort of ivory.

我风干后的骨头珍贵如象牙

My dung is burned as fuel. My milk is used for cheese.

我的粪便燃烧可以做燃料。我的乳汁可以做奶酪。

"Camels are like angels," a Bedouin once said.

“骆驼就像天使”一个贝多因人曾这样说过

(Applause)

（掌声）

Thank you. I just want to leave you with one last thought,

谢谢。最后我要留给大家一个思考问题，

which is probably the most important thing to take away.

以下哪样最值得带走：

Humans, the animal, are pretty lucky creatures because, by and large,

人类--动物--是幸运的生物，因为大体上来说，

we really don't have to adapt to our environment;

我们不用适应环境，

we adapt our environment to us.

我们让环境适应我们。

And we've seen that repeatedly through this conference,

这是从过往TED演讲中，我们一次又一次体会到的，

not just this year, but in past years.

不只今年，还有去年。

But this creature that you've just seen

但刚刚我们所见到的生物，

ultimately adapts, and keeps adapting and adapting.

它最终却让自己适应环境，而且还在不断改变自己去适应。

I think when you look at the animal kingdom,

当你看着动物界的时候，

that is one of the most remarkable things.

这就是其中一个卓越的发现。

It doesn't have an environment that adapts to it;

它不需要一个被改造的环境；

而是，它主动去适应这个环境。

it has to adapt to the environment.

Ricky, thank you very much for having me.

Ricky,谢谢你邀请我。

RW: That's terrific. Thank you.

RW：精彩，谢谢。