Keith Bellows: Celebrating the camel

譯者: Joan Liu 審譯者: Allison Shu

[SHIT]

屎

This is arguably the back end of the design of animals.

這被認為是動物的最終產物。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

But the reason I put this up here is because

但我把這個字寫上來的原因是

when I was in Africa last year, my wife and I were driving around,

我去年在非洲和妻子開著車閒晃的時候

we had this wonderful guide,

遇到一個很棒的導遊

who showed us something that surprised both of us,

他給我們看了個讓我們倆都很驚奇的東西，

and it was very revealing in terms of the fascination

而這以動物創造物之魅力的角度來看

that comes with the design of animals.

是非常具有啟發性的。

It turns out that in about the 1880s, the missionaries came to Africa

1880年代左右，傳教士來到非洲

to spread the word of Christianity,

宣傳基督教、

to teach English to the natives.

教原住民英文。

And they brought blackboards and chalk.

他們帶來了黑板和粉筆。

我希望你們想像這是塊黑板，

And I'd like you to imagine that that's a blackboard,

而我剛剛用了粉筆寫字。

and I just used some chalk on there.

And they brought quite a bit of this stuff.

他們帶了蠻多這些東西的。

但經過幾年以後黑板還很好，

But over the years, the blackboards were fine,

but they ran out of chalk.

但粉筆不夠了。

And this is a real crisis for them.

對他們來說這是個危機。

And that's where the hyena comes in.

這是土狼起作用的時候。

The hyena is probably the most perfectly designed

土狼大概是這世界上腐肉動物中

scavenging animal in the world.

設計得最完美的。

It strip-mines carcasses, and it has amazing teeth,

牠們攫食動物屍體

because it enables the hyena to essentially eat bones.

且擁有讓牠們可以吃骨頭的驚人牙齒。

Now, the end product of that action is up on the board here.

現在，上述動作的最終產物在這個板子上。

What the missionaries would do is, they'd walk around

這些傳教士會到處走

並撿起土狼糞。

and they'd pick up hyena shit.

And the incredible thing about hyena shit is, it makes great chalk.

土狼糞最驚奇的部分是：它是很棒的粉筆。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

That's not what I'm here to talk about,

這不是我來這要講的東西，

but it is a fascinating aspect of animal design.

但這的確是動物設計中令人著迷的一面。

What I'm here to talk about is the camel.

我是來講駱駝的。

When I started talking to Richard

我剛開始跟理察說

about what I was going to speak about,

我要來這講什麼的時候，

I had recently come back from Jordan,

我剛從約旦回來

where I had an amazing experience with a camel.

在那我跟駱駝有一段驚奇的經驗。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

And we were in the desert.

我們那時在沙漠中。

Richard Wurman: That's the end! Keith Bellows: Yeah, yeah.

理察沃爾曼：這個演說就結束了！

Keith Bellows:是啊是啊。

We were in the desert, in Wadi Rum, in a small Jeep.

我們開著吉普車在瓦迪拉姆的沙漠上。

There were four of us, two Bedouin drivers.

我們有四個人，其中兩個是貝多因司機。

You can just imagine, this expanse is an ocean of sand,

然後你可以想像，這個沙海

105 degrees, one water bottle.

華氏105度、只有一個水壺。

And we were driving in what they told us was their very, very best Jeep.

我們坐在一輛他們說是他們

最好最好的吉普車。我看起來不怎麼像。

Didn't look like it to me.

And as we started to go through the desert,

就當我們正在穿越沙漠時，吉普車故障了。

the Jeep broke down.

The guys got out, they put the hood up,

這些人出去，把敞篷架起來，

they started working under the hood, got it going again.

在敞篷下面修理車子，

About a hundred yards, it broke down.

車子修好了，大約一百碼後車子又故障了。

This went on about 6-7 times, we were getting more and more alarmed,

上述狀況重複了六或七次，

我們越來越不安，

we were also getting deeper and deeper into the desert.

且我們正往沙漠越來越深處開去。

And eventually, our worst nightmare happened:

最後，我們最糟的惡夢發生了：

they flooded the engine.

引擎熄火了。

And they said, "Ah, no problem! We just get out and walk."

然後他們說：「啊，沒問題！我們出去用走的。」

And we said, "We get out and walk?"

我們說：「我們出去用走的？」

One water bottle, remember, guys, four people.

一個水壺，記得嗎，有四個人。

And they said, "Yeah, yeah, we'll walk. We'll find some camels."

他們說：「是啊是啊，我們用走的。我們會找到一些駱駝的。」

We got out and walked, and sure enough,

所以我們出去用走的，然後真的

about half a mile, we came over the crest of this hill,

大約走了半哩路後，我們走過峰頂，

and there was a huge gathering of Bedouin with their camels.

看到一大群貝多因人和他們的駱駝。

The guy went up and started dickering,

這個人走上去跟他們討價還價，

and 10 dollars later, we had four camels.

付了十塊錢後我們有了四頭駱駝。

They went down like elevators; we got on them.

牠們像電梯般蹲下，我們坐上去。牠們站起來，

They went back up, and the Bedouin, each Bedouin, four of them,

然後那些貝多因人，每一個貝多因人，總共四個，

got behind each of the camels with a little whip.

各帶了一條小鞭子來到駱駝後面。

And they started slashing away at the back of the camels,

然後他們開始鞭打駱駝後面，

and they started galloping.

駱駝就開始奔跑。

And if you've ever been on a camel, it is a very, very uncomfortable ride.

如果你有騎過駱駝就會知道

那是非常非常不舒服的。

There's also one other aspect about these camels.

還有另一點是

About every 10 steps, they lean back

大約每十步，駱駝會往後傾

and try to take a chunk out of your leg.

試圖在你腿上咬一口。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

So we kept on going,

我們繼續走，

and this camel kept on trying to take a chunk out of my leg.

這些駱駝繼續試圖咬我們的腿。

And eventually, three miles later, we arrived at our destination,

最後，三哩路後，我們到達目的地，

where a Jeep was supposed to meet us.

理論上會有一台吉普車在那等我們。

And the camels come down again like elevators,

駱駝再次像電梯般蹲下，

we sort of clumsily get off,

我們七手八腳的下來，

and they, obviously, try to take another chunk out of my leg.

牠們，當然的，試圖在我們腿上咬一口。

And I've developed a very wonderful relationship

到這個時候

with this creature by this point,

我已經跟這生物有了不錯的關係，

and I've realized that this is a mean son of a bitch.

我了解到這真是個可惡的爛東西。

And much meaner, by the way, than the Bedouin who greeted me

比接待我們的貝多因人還可惡

and tried to sell me one of his 26 daughters

這個貝多因人還試圖賣給我他26個女兒中的一個

to take back to the States.

帶回美國。

So as we talked, Richard and I,

所以理查和我聊了一下，

I said, "You know, maybe I should bring a camel.

我說：「或許我應該帶一頭駱駝來。

It's the best designed animal in the world."

我認為駱駝是這世上設計得最好的動物。」

He went, "Nah. I don't think we want to be bringing a camel."

然後他大概說：「不了。我覺得我們不想要帶一頭駱駝。」

And you should be really glad we decided not to bring the camel.

你應該要非常慶幸我們沒有帶駱駝來。

So I did the next best thing.

所以我做了下一個可行的事，

I went to the Washington Zoo.

我去了華盛頓動物園。理查說：

Richard said, "I want you to get up close and personal with this camel.

「我要你非常接近這隻駱駝。

I want you to inspect its mouth, look at its teeth.

我要你檢查牠的嘴巴、看看牠的牙齒。

Go underneath it. Go above it. Go around it.

到牠下面、到牠上面、在牠四周晃晃。

Pull its tail up; take a look in there.

拉牠的尾巴、看看裡面有什麼。

I want you to get as close to that camel as you possibly can."

我要你盡你所能的靠近這頭駱駝。」

So, I got a National Geographic film crew.

所以我邀請了國家地理雜誌的攝影團隊。我們去了那裡，

We went down there, and I took one look at this camel.

我看了這頭駱駝。

It is a 2,000 pound creature who is in rut.

牠是個兩千磅正在發情的動物。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Now, if you've ever seen a 2,000 pound camel in rut,

現在，如果你有看過一頭兩千磅的駱駝在發情，

it is a scary, scary thing to behold.

是非常恐怖的，看起來很恐怖的。

And if Richard thought I was getting in the ring with that camel,

如果理查認為我和那頭駱駝有好關係，

someone was smoking Bedouin high grade.

他絕對是在大吸貝多因了。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

So we got as close to it as possible,

我們盡可能的靠近，

and I'm going to share this.

然後我要分享這個。克理斯可以幫我放影片嗎

Chris, if you want to roll this film.

Then I'm going to show you

然後我再給你們看一些

a little bit more about the design of camels.

關於駱駝的設計的東西。

Do you want to roll the film?

請放

(Adventure music)

(Video) Hello. This is Keith Bellows

with the TED National Geographic Camel Investigation Unit.

(影片)：哈囉。這是Keith Bellows與國家地理雜誌調查小組。

I'm here to look at the ultimate desert machine.

我來這看最棒的沙漠機器。

(Music continues)

Keith Bellows: And you'll note I started chewing gum

because I was around this camel all day.

你們可以看到我開始嚼口香糖

(Video) That's it, OK. No!

因為我整天都跟駱駝在一起。

See, now he's getting a little overexcited.

資深管理員：這就是了。喔不！牠看起來有點太興奮了。

So we'll need to be very careful around him. Don't let him get you.

所以我們在他附近需要非常小心。不要讓牠對你怎麼樣。

Now, you can see copious amounts of saliva in there.

現在，你可以看到周圍有非常多口水。

I always called myself the unstable stable boy.

我叫我自己「不穩定的穩定男孩」。

Their nose, you can see his nose is flared right now.

牠們的鼻子─你們可以看到牠的鼻子現在呈喇叭型。

當牠們在發情的時候，牠們很像海豹。

When they're in rut, they're similar to seals

就是說海豹也會把鼻子張開來呼吸。

in the way, like, a seal has to open its nose to breathe.

And they're similar. They have to consciously open their nose.

牠們也相似。牠們需要有意識的張開鼻子。

KB: Ears?

耳朵呢？耳朵很小但他們的聽力非常好。

SK: They are small. But they have excellent hearing.

But not big; for instance, in zebras, they have a huge ear

但不是像斑馬那樣的大耳朵，

牠們的耳朵是可以動的。

that's very mobile, so they can actually turn them both around.

And they use them in the same way we use our binocular vision.

就像我們用我們的雙眼一樣，

They use that to pinpoint sound.

牠們可以用耳朵指向聲音。

The desert's extremely windy as well as being very cold.

在沙漠上風很大且非常冷。

所以牠們不但必須有很長很長的睫毛，

So not only do they have the very long eyelashes,

還有第二層的─我猜應該叫做...隨便你叫什麼。

but there's the secondary --

I guess you'd call it the [unclear] or whatever.

It's this hair that's above the eyes, and below it, it's longer.

就是眼睛上部有毛髮，下部有一層更長的。

Most people think that the humps store water.

大部分人認為駝峰是裝水的。

They don't. They store fat.

但不是的，駝峰裝脂肪的。

Now, I'm not a chemist, but basically what happens

但是─我不是化學家，但基本上就是

is the fat is oxidized by their breathing.

脂肪在牠們的呼吸過程中被氧化，

然後就會被轉換成可用的水。

And that will turn it into actually usable water.

Like a lot of predators, they walk on their toes.

就像大部分的食肉動物一樣，牠們用腳指頭走路。

但那邊有個很厚的墊子會被壓出來。

But there's a big fat pad in there that squishes out.

They're like sun shoes, but, you know, with sand.

就像是太陽鞋。你知道的，用在沙灘上的。

蹄？牠們沒有傳統的蹄，

Hooves? They don't have traditional hooves,

but they do have one, like, big nail.

但牠們有很大的指甲。

(Audience laughter)

You can't really see too clear. The fur's kind of grown over.

你看不大清楚。毛把它蓋住了。

But they use their tails a lot, especially in rut.

但牠們很常用牠們的尾巴，尤其是在發情的時候。

牠會小便且甩牠的尾巴

He will urinate and spin his tail to spread the urine around

將尿往外灑

and make him more attractive.

這樣讓牠更具吸引力。

I don't know why that would be, but it works for them.

我不知道為什麼會這樣，但似乎是有用的。

So, what the hell.

所以，管牠的。

(Audience laughter)

Now, they will also defecate in certain areas.

好，牠們還會在固定地方大便。

大部分時候他們隨地大便，

Generally, they poop wherever they want to,

但在發情的時候牠們會在周圍大便。

but during their rut, they will defecate in perimeter areas.

我不知道你有沒有讀過或聽過大象的超低音聲音

I don't know if you've read or heard about the sub-sonic sounds from elephants,

you know what I mean, like, "Br-r-r!"

你知道的就是「爾厄爾」的聲音。

These big, big rumbling sounds. He will do the same thing.

這個隆隆聲，牠也會發。

You can actually see, right here, it will vibrate.

你可以看到，在這裡，會震動。

我們會幫我們的動物秤重。

We weigh our animals.

Unfortunately, he's a very aggressive animal,

不幸的是牠是非常具侵略性的動物，

so he's actually destroyed some of the scales.

所以牠其實弄壞了幾個磅秤。

We had these big things that I weigh the bison on, for instance.

我們有大磅秤用來秤北美野牛的，

I'm guessing that he's at least 1,600 pounds.

我猜大約至少有一千六百磅，

But I would put him closer to 2,000.

可能快要兩千磅。

He's basically a walking mulch pile.

他基本上是個會走路的挖土機。

We're kind of like buds, but I'm also a male as well.

我們有點像是好夥伴，但我是男的牠也是。對就是這樣。

KB: He sees you as competition? Senior Keeper: Yeah, exactly.

And it makes him very dangerous at this time of year.

這讓他在年度的這個時候非常危險。

Don't even think about it. Don't think about it!

不要想，根本就不要想。

但是現在，我們要來看─出來！出來！

But now, we're going to meet. Out!

Out! Out!

出來！

不。

No.

Out!

出來！

(Music)

(Applause)

(掌聲)

KB: What I didn't show you was, you got that swinging thing going?

我沒有給你們看的是，你記得那個甩尾巴的動作嗎？

Well, and you're glad I didn't show you this.

嗯，你應該慶幸我沒有給你們看。

One of the other things about the camel's beautiful design

另外一個駱駝設計的很棒的部分是

is that its penis points backwards.

牠的陰莖是向後指的。

That way the camel can dip its tail in the stream,

這樣的話駱駝可以把牠的尾巴浸在尿液中，

and just whacker the entire area around him.

然後直接重擊他四周所有的區域。

And that's how he really marks his territory.

這事牠如何劃牠的勢力範圍。

Now, what you also didn't see was that --

現在，你們也沒有看到

and you may have noticed in the pen beside him

你們可能有發現牠旁邊的圍欄中

and, by the way, the camel's name is Suki.

喔對，這頭駱駝的名字叫Suki。

In the pen beside him is Jasmine.

在牠旁邊圍欄中的叫Jasmine。

Jasmine has been his mate for some time.

Jasmine已經是牠的伴侶一陣子了。

But on this particular occasion, it was very, very clear

但在這次狀況中，非常非常明顯的，

that as horny as Suki was, Jasmine was having none of it.

不管Suki有多性感，Jasmine完全不為所動。

And so we started thinking.

所以我們開始想，

Well, if poor old Suki is in search of a mate,

可憐的老Suki在找伴侶，

what would Suki do to find the perfect mate?

Suki會怎麼樣尋找牠的完美伴侶呢？

I'm going to show you another film.

所以我要給你們看另外一部影片。

But before I do, I just want to mention

但在我放給你們看之前我要先說

that this animal truly is a sort of the SUV of the sand,

這動物真的是沙漠中的越野車，

the ship of the desert.

沙漠上的方舟，對駱駝出沒區的居民來說非常重要。

It's so vital to the inhabitants of the areas

in which the camel is found, largely Mongolia and Sahara,

主要是蒙古和沙哈拉沙漠

that there are 160 words in Arabic to describe the camel.

在阿拉伯語中，大約有160個單字來形容駱駝。

And if this is a creature that was designed by committee,

如果這是一種由委員會設計的動物，

it's certainly been like no committee I've ever been on.

那麼這個委員會跟我曾經參加過的委員會大相逕庭。

So here's what Suki would do in search of a mate.

所以這是Suki如何找尋牠的伴侶。

可以請你幫我放嗎？

Can you roll it, please?

Camel seeking camel

(駱駝找駱駝)

Lusty beast desires attractive and sincere mate.

(健壯的野獸徵具吸引力且真誠的伴侶)

I'm seven feet, 2,000 lbs., with brown hair and eyes, long legs --

(我高七呎、重兩千磅、有咖啡色眼睛和頭髮、長腿...)

(然後我有...巨根)

and I'm very well ... hung.

I'm TED Camel.

(我是TED駱駝)

The perfect desert machine.

(完美的沙漠機器)

I'm smartly designed.

(我是聰明的設計)

Eyelashes that keep out sand

(眼睫毛會隔離沙子且有第三層睫毛

and a third eyelash that works like a windshield wiper.

作用像雨刷)

A distinguished nose --

(一個特別的鼻子)

with nostrils lined to filter out sand and dust

(鼻孔排列可以過濾沙和塵)

(和會抓住水分的凹槽)

and a groove that catches moisture.

Amazingly full lips --

(驚人的豐唇)

that allow me to eat practically anything that grows.

(讓我可以吃幾乎所有生長的東西)

Callouses on my knees that let me kneel comfortably.

(膝上的繭讓我可以舒服地跪下)

Leathery chest pads that beat the heat.

(皮革胸墊可以抵擋炎熱)

Short fur that keeps my skin cool.

(短毛讓皮膚涼爽)

Long legs that allow heat to escape.

(長腿能夠散熱)

And my hump?

(我的駝峰呢?)

Ogden Nash once wrote:

(Ogden Nash曾寫到：)

"The camel has a single hump; the dromedary two,

(「駱駝有一個峰；單峰駱駝有兩個峰，

or else the other way around. I'm never sure. Are you?"

還是是相反。我從來不是很確定。你確定嗎？」)

(這裡有個提示：)

Here's a hint:

Bactarian.

(雙峰駱駝)

Dromedary.

(單峰駱駝)

My hump contains up to 80 lbs. of fat, but doesn't store H2O.

(我的駝峰含有八十磅的脂肪，但沒有水。)

I'm built to last.

(我耐力強。)

I'm the go-to animal when the oasis is dry.

(綠洲枯竭時我是救星。)

I usually won't sweat until my body reaches 105 ºF,

(基本上我不會流汗，除非溫度高達華氏105度，)

enough to fry an egg.

(可以煎蛋的溫度。)

I'm able to lose 40% of my weight without dying.

(我可以瘦掉體重的百分之四十)

(也不會死亡。)

(Most animals would if they lost half that much.)

(大部分動物如果瘦那麼多會死的。)

I'll drink 5 to 7 gallons of water a day.

(我可以一天喝掉五到七加侖的水)

But go without for more than a month.

(但接下來一個月都不用喝。)

I'm powerful.

(我是強壯的。)

Able to pack up to 400 lbs. of cargo.

(可以承載400磅)

(的貨物。)

Outrun a horse --

(我跑得比馬快。)

And cover 26 miles on a good day.

(一天可以跑26英哩。)

(亞瑟王)

Camelot.

Jackie O. once said that traveling by camel

(Jackie O.曾經說過騎駱駝)

made riding an elephant seem like taking a jet plane.

(讓騎大象像是坐噴射機。)

Yet my large, soft feet allow me to navigate sand.

(但我的又大有軟的腳掌讓我可以在沙上行走。)

(Is that why the Bedouin claim I can dance?)

(那是為什麼貝多因人說我會跳舞嗎？」

I'm a good provider, too.

(我還是個很好的供應者。)

Bedouins call the camel the Gift of God.

(貝多因人說我是上天的禮物)

(沒什麼好驚訝的)

No surprise.

Tents and rugs are made of my hair.

(帳篷和地毯是用我的毛做的。)

My dried bones are prized as a sort of ivory.

(我乾掉的骨頭跟象牙一樣珍貴。)

My dung is burned as fuel. My milk is used for cheese.

(我的糞可以當燃料；我的乳可以做起司。)

"Camels are like angels," a Bedouin once said.

(「駱駝就像天使一樣」一個貝多因人曾經這麼說)

(Applause)

(掌聲)

Thank you. I just want to leave you with one last thought,

謝謝。我最後要給你們一個想法，

which is probably the most important thing to take away.

大慨是今天要講的最重要的東西。

Humans, the animal, are pretty lucky creatures because, by and large,

人類─一種動物─是非常幸運的生物因為大至上來說

we really don't have to adapt to our environment;

我們不需要適應環境，

we adapt our environment to us.

我們要環境適應我們。

And we've seen that repeatedly through this conference,

這在這個會議中一再地看到

not just this year, but in past years.

不只今年，前幾年都是。

But this creature that you've just seen

但你們剛剛看到的這個生物

ultimately adapts, and keeps adapting and adapting.

完全地適應、適應、適應環境。

I think when you look at the animal kingdom,

我覺得當你看看動物界

that is one of the most remarkable things.

那是非常值得注意的。

It doesn't have an environment that adapts to it;

環境不一定要適應動物，

動物可以適應環境。

it has to adapt to the environment.

Ricky, thank you very much for having me.

Ricky謝謝你讓我來。

RW: That's terrific. Thank you.

RW:很棒。謝謝你。